Stilgherrian » 2008 » January

Another storm approaches… now!

Stilgherrian — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:52:29 +0000

As I type this, it’s just beginning to rain, and I can hear the sound of thunder in the background. But 20 minutes ago I took this photo of the gathering storm clouds over Enmore in Sydney.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Rebranding America with Obama

Stilgherrian — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:37:47 +0000

When your business’ reputation sucks, what do you do? Re-brand it!

Jon Taplin reckons American business is hoping to revive “Brand USA” by supporting Barack Obama as a presidential candidate. In Reviving Brand America, he says:

It is getting very hard to be an American company in much of the world (see photo). Whenever they are pissed off in Karachi, they burn down the KFC. George Bush’s War has made competing against European and Chinese manufacturers like wrestling with one arm tied behind your back. So like any smart CEO, the elite has decided we need a re-branding of America with a charismatic man of colour at the front.

Exhibit A is the New York Post’s endorsement of Obama this morning. I would take it as a given, that Rupert Murdoch saw this editorial before it was published. Exhibit B is MSNBC. I promise you, Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann would not be given the free rein to criticize both Hillary and Republican hypocrisy, unless Jeff Immelt, CEO of GE had not given the OK. I obviously think this is a rational move on the part of American business — and I know its not like they all met at some private club to decide this. I just think this is the consensus vision, well outlined by Andrew Sullivan a couple of months ago.

But is American business that concerned with their nation’s international image? Or is Taplin spot on?

Indeed, was the success of Kevin Rudd in Australia’s 2007 election partially the result of our stagnant image overseas?

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Heath Ledger spikes my website, Day 8

Stilgherrian — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:02:37 +0000

Given that there’s quite a bit of fluctuation in web traffic from day to day anyway — for all manner of reasons — I’m going to say that it’s been relatively steady through the week so far.

As I mentioned yesterday, the Heath Ledger jokes page is now sustaining itself on Google search results. I think I’ll do a more detailed end-of week analysis tomorrow. I just wanted to publish something about this Experiment today because I know every single reader is awaiting my every word on this important global issue.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Quote of the Day, 31 January 2008

Stilgherrian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 22:04:24 +0000

Why is Facebook so popular? Sunrise presenter Pete Blasina has the explanation: “It’s because of the Internet.” Gotcha, Pete. Note, this man is paid to present this segment on technology. Obviously Channel 7 have scoured teh internetz for only the best of the best. Hat-tip to Cameron Reilly.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

The Straw Man and the Hallucinating Goldfish

Stilgherrian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:10:18 +0000

Scientific American explains two media manipulation techniques, the “straw man” and the “weak man”. Know how to spot them and help fight the Hallucinating Goldfish.

In Getting Duped: How the Media Messes with Your Mind, Yvonne Raley and Robert Talisse write:

One common method of spinning information is the so-called straw man argument. In this tactic, a person summarizes the opposition’s position inaccurately so as to weaken it and then refutes that inaccurate rendition. In a November 2005 speech, for example, President George W Bush responded to questions about pulling troops out of Iraq by saying, “We’ve heard some people say, pull them out right now. That’s a huge mistake. It’d be a terrible mistake. It sends a bad message to our troops, and it sends a bad message to our enemy, and it sends a bad message to the Iraqis.” The statement that unnamed “people” are advocating a troop withdrawal from Iraq “right now” is a straw man, because it exaggerates the opposing viewpoint. Not even the most stalwart Bush adversaries backed an immediate troop withdrawal. Most proposed that the soldiers be sent home over several months, a more reasonable and persuasive plan that Bush undercut with his straw man.

The Weak Man tactic is a twist on this…

As Talisse, co-authors of the 2006 paper which coined the term, explains:

[A] person sets up the opposition’s weakest (or one of its weakest) arguments or proponents for attack, as opposed to misstating a rival’s position as the straw man argument does. In a July 2007 edition of Talking Points, Bill O’Reilly took on a claim by the New York Times that we had lost the war in Iraq by saying that “the New York Times declared defeat in Iraq Sunday on its editorial page, and there’s no question the antiwar movement has momentum.” (The editorial actually said that “some opponents of the Iraq war are toying with the idea of American defeat,” but let us assume that O’Reilly’s characterization was correct.)

O’Reilly then offered a weak man explanation for the purported defeat: “The truth is the Iraqi government and many of its citizens are simply not doing enough to defeat the terrorists and corruption. The USA can’t control that country. No nation could… Unfortunately, the Iraqi failure to help themselves has come true.” Although Iraq’s failure to aid in fighting terrorism and corruption could be why we are losing the war, the troubles in Iraq could also stem from a host of logistical reasons, some of which may shed a negative light on the current administration. O’Reilly, however, kept any discussion of these reasons offstage, suppressing the various other possible — and possibly more likely — reasons for “defeat” in Iraq. Meanwhile his claims that the “USA can’t control that country” and that “no nation could” deflected blame from the US government.

Hat-tip to 3 quarks daily.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Corey goes international

Stilgherrian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:52:30 +0000

In the names of all the Gods, how could I have possibly missed the news two days ago that Corey Worthington Delaney is kicking off a three-city rave which will hit Sydney next month, followed by a tour of seaside spots in England in June, including Blackpool, Bournemouth and Torquay? Where can I get tickets?

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Archived for future generations

Stilgherrian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:47:09 +0000

It’s really scary, I think, that the National Library of Australia has selected me for preservation “in perpetuity” in the Pandora archive. Lame Heath Ledger jokes and my photographs of men’s toilets will be available for future generations.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Word of the Year 2007: last chance to vote

Stilgherrian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:46:21 +0000

Final reminder: You have until midnight tonight (Sydney time) to vote in Macquarie Dictionary’s Word of the Year poll.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Heath Ledger spikes my website, Day 7

Stilgherrian — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 21:43:18 +0000

Another day, another traffic graph for The Heath Ledger Experiment. And once more, contrary to my expectations, there’s another gentle increase in traffic.

Could this be because the Heath Ledger jokes page is now the top result when you do a Google search for “heath ledger jokes”?

Today is about other things for me, not Mr Ledger, so I’ll return to these thoughts tomorrow. But do feel free to add your own comments.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Social Media: It’s about the people, not the tools

Stilgherrian — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 21:22:15 +0000

One of the biggest mistakes businesses make when thinking about social media is that it’s all about the tools — that if only they choose the right software they’ll be a success. That’s about as sensible as thinking your retail business will be successful if only you buy the right bookkeeping software.

Yesterday a client asked:

My friends at [some business] wish to create a social networking section as part of their site, with home pages or profiles for each user. Do you recommend any third party apps for this or a currently operating system?

No, I don’t recommend the tools until I know what the job is.

That question is like being asked, “I want a motor vehicle, can you recommend one?” Before you could answer you’d need to know the requirements. How many passengers? An answer of “6″ means a people-mover, not a sports car. An answer of “40″ means you need a bus.

Does it have to go off-road? Land Rover time! Does it have to carry 3 tons of bricks? Well, you need a truck, not a car. Do you need to make a social statement with your vehicle? Then maybe you need a Rolls-Royce. Or a Porsche. Or a Ferrari.

Or a packet of Viagra.

Another client asked:

Is [software package X] any good?

Again, wrong question. “Any good?” Good for what?

“Is a Lexus any good?” Yes, it is — but not for driving across the Simpson Desert, or delivering packages, or transporting your basketball team or invading Poland with a section of infantry.

As I wrote this, I remembered that Hugh MacLeod covered this point in his piece social gestures beget social objects:

When you’re planning how to embrace the brave new world of Web 2.0, the first question you ask yourself should not be “What tools do I use?”

Blogs, RSS, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook — it doesn’t matter.

The first question you should REALLY ask yourself is:

“How do I want to change the way I talk to people?”

And hopefully the rest should follow.

The redoubtable Laurel Papworth, one of the country’s foremost experts in the emerging social media, has just posted an article Seven steps to building a social network. It, too, emphasises that it’s about the people and the connections you make, not the tools.

The key point for my anonymous clients is number 3:

3. Decide what features are needed. Differentiate your site from a plethora of others by including the features most relevant to your membership, such as the ability to schedule meetings or upload conference photos and white papers.

This differentiation of your product almost always means that you need custom-written software to deliver what you’re after — though that custom software might be a custom-written module that plugs into a pre-existing application framework. But that’s a technical decision that comes after you’ve thought about your community. Leave the boring technical decisions to the geeks.

Laurel also runs a one-day course on managing a social network around a product — the next one is on 7 March.

The problem for most businesses is that they’re looking for The Magick Solution. If only they buy the right stuff then they’ll be profitable or successful or cool or popular with the chicks. The world doesn’t work that way — despite what the advertising industry might tell us.

You actually have to think and do the hard work and get out there and have conversations with your customers.

But that’s hard.

As Hugh MacLeod points out:

The decision to raise the level of conversation isn’t economic. Nor is it an intellectual decision. It’s a moral decision. But whether you have the stomach for it is up to you.

Do you have the stomach for it? Are you willing to do the work? Or are you just hoping to buy a Magick Box of Social Media Dust and sprinkle it on your business?

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Quote of the Day, 29 January 2008

Stilgherrian — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 08:51:24 +0000

Overheard in a pub on King Street, Newtown earlier today: “I’m not afraid of mental institutions any more. It’s a free holiday. Free food, free cigarettes — free DRUGS!”

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Heath Ledger spikes my website, Day 6

Stilgherrian — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 22:14:53 +0000

Yesterday I reported that traffic for The Heath Ledger Experiment had declined across the weekend. Today I can tell you that the decline has been reversed and we’re slightly up again. Across 6 days, we’ve seen a total of 6,407 unique human visitors to the jokes page.

I have no real explanation for this yet, and it may just be statistical noise. Still, my gut feeling is that we’re moving past the initial feeding-frenzy. Perhaps the early visitors are people who actively seek out a forum for this sort of thing, because that’s how they gain the attention they seek. Later, others stumble across the site once those early visitors have seeded it with content.

One old friend, who I hadn’t heard from in years, emailed me across the weekend to say:

I stumbled across your site after someone sent me a Heath Ledger joke and I couldn’t think of a witty comeback, so decided to resort to a websearch and let the internet do my thinking for me. I never did find one good enough to send, but I did enjoy a productive half hour rooting around in your website.

I’m also starting to see inbound links from forums where people are discussing whether what I’m doing is tasteless or not, or reflecting on the way we feed on celebrity news in general. Is this perhaps the natural cycle of such things?

What I have learned is that it’s very easy to generate a few thousand inbound visitors. But why you’d want to do that, and what you do with those visitors, are completely different questions.

More soon…

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

“I don’t understand computers” is not an excuse

Stilgherrian — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:36:30 +0000

If you own or manage a business that handles information (and which business doesn’t?) then you must understand computers and the Internet. If you don’t, you’re incompetent. Yes, that’s right, you heard me. Incompetent.

There, I’ve said it. Now, with that out of the way, let me explain…

I don’t mean you need to know how computers work, or how to set them up, program them, maintain them or fix them when they break. You don’t need to know how to connect a computer to the Internet, build a website or any of that stuff either.

However you should know enough to make effective decisions about how they’re used in your business. You should know how the leaders in your industry are using the technology. You should be aware of developments that might affect your plans.

In short, you don’t need to know the technology itself, but you do need to know its implications for your business.

Australia’s had a Goods and Services Tax since 2000. If you waved your hand and said, “Oh, I don’t understand GST,” your shareholders would have every right to sack you for incompetence.

Sure, your accountant handles the details. But at the very least you know that the GST is 10%, and you can handle basic business operations like quoting for a customer’s work.

Well, we’ve had the Internet commercially since 1995, and computers for much longer. They’re a core part of doing business. Waving your hand and saying, “Oh, I don’t understand computers” should equally be a sacking offence.

So what do you need to understand…?

Geeks usually get this wrong, and berate “stupid users” for not knowing how the technology works. No.

A typical small businessperson no more needs to know how computers work than Sir Richard Branson needs to be a rocket scientist to run Virgin Galactic. But he does need to know what’s happening in rocketry.

Most businesses are not IT businesses. Most businesses do something else. They make and sell shoes, plan and execute wedding parties, import stuff and sell it to retailers, sell real estate, make pizzas in 10 different stores and deliver them all over a city, drill holes in people’s teeth and fill them again…

Here’s my first-draft list of some of what a non-IT business should know:

Know the difference between a server, a workstation, a router and a firewall. That’s like knowing the difference between a car, a truck, a tractor and a trench digger.
Know the structure of the industry, and who’s responsible for what. You should know that the person who sold you the hardware is only responsible for the hardware not the software; know whether your software vendor is responsible for training or support or not; the difference between your Internet service provider (ISP), hosting provider, domain registrar, web developer and so on.
Know the expected lifespan of your hardware and software, and the expected replacement or upgrade costs — and be planning for it. Knowing that a computer will last X years and that your operating system will be declared obsolete in Y years is like knowing that your truck will last 10 years with good maintenance and will cost $250k to replace.
Know the likelihood of various things going wrong, and the rough cost and timeframe for fixing them. Do you rely on the information kept on your server? What happens if that server dies? How long will it take to fix? How will you cope in the meantime?
Know current market prices, so you know if you’ve got a good deal. Taking just one example, you should know how much you’re paying for your Internet connection, what percentage of the capacity you’re using, how fast your usage is growing, how long the contract runs — and how that compares with competing plans.

That’s just a start. I suspect the list should be longer. Any suggestions?

Unless you’re a really tiny business you don’t need to know all this personally. However if you’re too small to need a full-time IT manager then someone in your businesses still needs to be across this. Whoever makes the decisions needs to be making informed decisions — otherwise they’re failing in their duty to the shareholders.

Apart from that management-level knowledge, every computer user — you and all of your staff — should know what to do when things go wrong.

If your car’s fuel gauge warns that you’re running on empty, you know to find a service station and fill up the fuel tank. You know roughly how much that’ll cost. On the other hand, if the oil temperature light keeps coming on, or you hear a weird grinding noise, you know it’s time to see a mechanic — an expert. You don’t fiddle with random controls hoping to fix it.

Similarly, you should be able to handle day-to-day computer issues. When an error message says that you’re out of storage space, you should be able to tell whether it’s your local computer’s hard drive that’s full, or your server, or your email mailbox or whatever. You should also know when that error message is serious enough to call in that expert.

To discuss your car with a mechanic, you need a common language: brakes, steering wheel, gear lever, radiator, tyres. Similarly, you should know the basic parts of your computer, both hardware (monitor, hard drive etc) and software (web browser, word processor, dialog box, menu bar etc).

You should also know about the security risks you face online, and how to operate safely and securely.

There may once have been a time when you could get away with “Oh, I don’t understand computers.” That time has long since gone.

If you and your staff don’t know this stuff, then it’s your job as manager to make sure they do.

Finally, IT and the Internet changes fast. I know personally that technical solutions I might have recommended only two years ago are now inappropriate. But most non-IT businesses aren’t used to this pace of change, and their knowledge is often out of date. To cope with the faster pace, they need to change the way they operate.

Most importantly, businesses need to adopt a process of continual review and improvement.

OK… where’d all this come from?

Over the years I’ve had various Prussia.Net clients say “I don’t understand computers” as if it’s OK to be ignorant of that aspect of their business. But imagine if someone said “Oh, I don’t understand money,” or “I don’t understand insurance.” You’d wonder why they’re allowed to keep running that business!

I don’t want to brow-beat anyone, but I do want to stress that it’s something no business can ignore.

A business can certainly decide, for example, that they don’t need a computer-based customer relationship management system. But they should know what a CRM system does, at least, and whether it’s the right choice for them.

This is very much a first draft. Comments are more than welcome. My focus is on the smaller end of the small business market — 10 computer-using staff or less — where these issues are often ignored.

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Obama gains in US presidency race

Stilgherrian — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:03:18 +0000

Barack Obama is gaining in the US presidential election race. Since my comment the other day, Centrebet’s odds on Obama winning have narrowed from $3.20 to $2.95, and Hillary Clinton’s have widened from $2.30 to $2.45. John McCain is steady at $5.25. Olive oil, patty, olive oil…

5 Random Semi-Related Posts

Are you proud of your culture?

Stilgherrian — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 00:05:25 +0000

Are you proud of your culture? It depends which culture you mean, I guess. Over the weekend I’ve pondered that while we all celebrated our Australian culture, and somewhere — not that I bothered participating — gay men celebrated “gay culture”. Again.

The photo (above) is from ’Pong’s photo essay on Australia Day. Classy eh?

The rest of the pics show precisely how we celebrate the Birth of Our Great Nation at the very place where the key events of 1788 took place. It’s pathetic. It’s embarrassing.

As I Twittered to ’Pong at the time, “So many people in your Oz Day photos use the flag as clothing. Fat-arsed drunks sitting on it! Nation’s flag: show respect.”

’Pong is primed to become an Aussie. Citizenship has been approved. But the disorganised mess that is the Department of Immigration and Citizenship failed to hook him into the year’s biggest swearing-in ceremonies. That’s OK, because he wants to do an Aboriginal Welcome to Country first, and he has trouble with Australia Day.

[A] national day is normally set on the birth of the modern nation: a revolution or an independence from the colony… In general, it is a significant event in the history that reminds the people and draws them together to value the pride of the nation.

On the other hand, Australia Day is on 26 January, the day British first fleet of convicts arrived. What is to be proud of? It neglects the fact that there were indigenous tribes living here thousands years ago and the settlement has never been reconciled with them. I have not seen any message of this history in any publicity piece of the day at all. It seems to be suppressed everywhere. Therefore the core content of the day is very shallow. What to feed the punter are just public live show, fireworks and getting drunk, not any difference from New Year Eve, Melbourne Cup or even Mardi Gras.

Ah yes, Mardi Gras. Where “gay culture” (whatever that is in 2008) is reduced to a parade which is really only a public freak show followed by yet another self-indulgent dance party.

“Oh no,” I can hear certain inner-urban gay men cry, “It’s a chance for us to express ourselves as gay men and celebrate as a community.”

Yeah right. Because chances to “celebrate as a community” are so goddam fucking rare, aren’t they! There’s only Mardi Gras and Sleaze Ball and New Year’s Eve and the Harbour Party and Homesexual and one party after another every weekend of the year. Not to mention a swathe of nightclubs. There’s no shortage.

Imagine the Sydney gay scene’s response to, oh, an Australian equivalent to the Tianamen Square incident. “OMG, the government has called in the army and is shooting students at Sydney Uni. Quick! We’d better organise a party! I can wear those Diesel camo shorts!”

Actually, no. If the slaughter were at the University of Sydney the response would be a whine. “Oh, that’s so far! I’m not going all the way over there!”

My friend Richard Watts in Melbourne was spot on yesterday when he complained, “I don’t get gay culture”.

Last night I had to go and take photographs for MCV at Midsumma Mooning at the Laird, which is an event where men show off their arses to the audience, with the most attractive arse voted as the winner. When one man made his arsehole wink the crowd went wild. It was about as tasteful as a wet t-shirt competition, and just as sexy.

This afternoon, I have to go take photographs at the Peel, which is hosting an underwear party. Yes, a party of gay men, dancing, in their underwear. Don’t ask me where wallets will be kept, because really, I don’t want to know.

Now before anyone complains that I’m wrong, that Mardi Gras is more than just a party — there’s theatre and exhibitions and music and — yeah, you’re right. It does have those things. And when someone asks “When is Mardi Gras?” and you tell them that it runs right through February into early March, the response is always, “No, I mean the party.”

Anyway, I don’t want to structure my social life around one specific aspect of my persona — being a gay male — any more than around being a geek or being right-handed or having brown hair or blue eyes or a penchant for a particular kind of curry. Variety is the spice!

The Snarky Platypus and I were right to stay well clear of Australia Day celebrations, instead writing a new National Anthem.

Thankfully, Geoffrey Robertson took away all Australia Day concerns for both me and ’Pong.

Last night on SBS, in Who Do You Think You Are?, Robertson discovered that he’s descended from dirt-poor Scottish peasants and a woman who was probably the illegitimate daughter of a Prussian prince. His closing speech summed up our feelings brilliantly. I can only paraphrase it here because we weren’t recording it.

Being Australian, Robertson said, isn’t about where you come from — you can come from anywhere. It’s about knowing you can build your homes here and make your connections with this wide brown land wherever you’re from. And wherever you may travel after that — he now lives in London — you may be an ex-patriate but you’ll never be an ex-patriot.