More Steve Irwin jokes

A clown in life, Steve Irwin has inspired more jokes since his death — not just that first one I posted last week

[Update 23 January 2008: Since Steve Irwin jokes are very popular on this website, you might also want to start posting Heath Ledger death jokes. Just as mindlessly tacky.]

  • Steve wouldn’t have died if he were wearing sunscreen, it would have protected him from harmful rays.
  • Q: Why is Trudie Styler like Steve Irwin? A: Both have been penetrated by Sting.
  • Steve Irwin asked for a certain song to be played at his funeral: Don’t Stand So Close to Me by Sting. (Alternatively, Dead Heart by Midnight Oil, and selections from Queen‘s Sheer Heart Attack.)
  • Q: What do Steve Irwin and Indiana Jones have in common? A: They both have a hol(e)y chest.

And if I hear any more, I’ll post them here as comments.

Oddly enough, another “Australian icon” died last week: legendary racing car driver Peter Brock wrapped himself around a tree. And yet he hasn’t spawned a series of jokes. Why is that, I wonder?

Scroll down for more Steve Irwin Jokes in the comments.

[Update 19 April 2009: I'm closing comments on this post. The few comments which have been posted in recent months are mostly from people who can't seem to see beyond an overly-simplistic "He's a hero" or "You're lame". Very few of them can even spell properly. And none are adding anything positive to the discussion. Time to move on.]

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  1. Zhasper’s avatar

    I’ve heard a joke that combines the two..

    unfortunately I’ve only heard the punchline and haven’t gotten around to expanding from it, so this is rather Jeopardy style – but I’m sure you’ll have no trouble picking a suitable Q:

    A: No no God, I said I wanted a *crock*

  2. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Yes, needs work. :) But close, oh so close…!

  3. Richard’s avatar

    Steve Irwin meets Peter Brock in heaven and asks:

    ‘Crikey, how did you get a halo so quickly? I’m still waiting for mine.’

    Brock replies:

    ‘It’s a steering wheel, you idiot!’

  4. Richard’s avatar

    Q. Why is Steve Irwin like Peter Brock?

    A. Neither knows how to handle fishtails.

  5. Richard’s avatar

    Was Brock guilty of parking up the wrong tree?

  6. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    I can see it’s another busy day ‘t mill, Richard…

    Interesting, the server logs reveal that “steve irwin joke” is now the most popular search that delivers people to this blog, overtaking “cats that look like hitler” and last month’s favourite, “drug danger league table”.

  7. jessie polkinghorne’s avatar

    y do people have sick mines all i got to say is R.I.P steve irwin and i feel so sorry 4 steves family and friends

    1. Tyson’s avatar

      this is to jessie polkinghorne….. if your mother died tomorrow coz she was hit by a car…. and you read a joke on the neet saying something like at the bbq why did jessie polkinghorne’s mother cross the road….. coz she wanted to tast some grill…… or somthing stupid like half the jokes on here im sure u’d love it and dont say u would coz ya fuckin wouldnt

  8. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Jessie, it’s a shame you think making jokes is a sign of a “sick” mind. Personally, I think humour is a sign of a healthy mind. For many people, humour is an important part of coping with emotionally difficult situations.

  9. KRISTIE’s avatar

    YOU ARE SICK FUCKERS WHO EVER MADE THESE TERRIBLE JOKES STEVE IRWIN WAS A LEDGEND LIKE TO SEE U FUCKERS HANDLE CROCS LIKE HIM

  10. Russ’s avatar

    Everyone who is making jokes about steve Irwin, respects him deeply. It was tragic when he died. But to call us sick? Well thats a little dramatic dont you think? People who cant see the humor in jokes like these, are idiots. Yes they are offensive, but dont completly over-react.

  11. nay’s avatar

    when steve irwin got to heaven god said to him “you can bring something with you to heaven, choose anything from earth.”
    irwin thought a while and came back and whispered in gods ear. In the blink of an eye his gift stood before him. “CRICKEY god you should have your ears checked i said CROC not BROCK”

  12. daniel kennedy’s avatar

    what do steve irwin and peter brock have in common?

    -neither can handle a fishtail

  13. daniel kennedy’s avatar

    looks like i posted my joke a little 2 late.

  14. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Yes, Daniel you did…

  15. Richard’s avatar

    I can see that my jokes have offended people. I’m genuinely sorry, but please consider:

    So many obituaries of Mr Brock and Mr Irwin have identified the ‘larrikin’ spirit as being part of their charm. As far as I know, irreverent humour is part of that spirit.

    Isn’t this one of the ‘Aussie values’ the PM is trying to pin down?

    I’ve had close mates die – much closer to me than Irwin and Brock will ever be – but I’m sure they would be the first to laugh at the circumstances of their own deaths. The rest of us served their memory by raising a glass, telling embarassing anecdotes, making jokes, and avoiding false Saint Di-style hysteria. If we needed to cry, we did it later on, at home.

    Repressed? Maybe. Callous? No, I don’t think so.

    I can say, with complete conviction, that it’s what they would have wanted.

    ‘Death, where is thy sting…’ when those left behind have an unquenchable thirst for laughter and life?

    Sermon over, now y’all can ask Stilgherrian for my full name and hunt me down.

    It’s funny, but I don’t think any of you are regular readers of this blog, and I think you’re unlikely to be back. So did you come here in order to be righteously offended?

  16. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Richard, that’s a beautiful post, thank you. You’ve managed to capture many of the thoughts I’ve had about the whole Steve Irwin thing and, as I posted elsewhere, why most of the traffic to this blog has been people looking for Steve Irwin jokes.

    As for Richard’s full name, bids open at… what’s the price of a hunting license these days?

  17. Richard’s avatar

    Bloody hell, if I’ve managed to ‘capture your thoughts’ then I’ll need a Dr Who-style ‘energy field’ to contain ‘em all.

  18. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    I’d be more worried about the quality than the quantity of my thoughts, Richard. Have plenty of disinfectant handy.

  19. Scott’s avatar

    Steve irwins not the first bloke to be fucked over by something with flaps thats smells fishy. haha

  20. Scott’s avatar

    Why are pirates now hunting sting rays?

    Because they lead to a dead man’s chest.

  21. Scott’s avatar

    What was the last thing that went through Peter Brocks mind when he crashed?

    His Arse. LOL

  22. Phil’s avatar

    Stingray denies any responsibility, saying, it was infact the highly secretive crew of Thunderbirds that killed Irwin

  23. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Phil, we already did the _Thunderbirds_ joke.

    I’m amazed that we’re still getting comments on this thread so long after the event.

  24. shawn666’s avatar

    when steve got to heaven god asked him if there was anything he could get him he said yes and told god the next day brock arrived and god said here ur gift steve then he said noi wanted a crock not brock

  25. shawn666’s avatar

    steve irwins australia zoo is now serving stirng ray it is expensive but steve says its too die for

  26. john’s avatar

    you said there was no jokes about the great peter brock ..you could say he was retired (reTYREd) or he was stumped in his life

  27. Richard’s avatar

    Christ, this one’s gonna run and run, isn’t it?

  28. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Richard, yes, this is still currently the most-read page on the blog, and “steve irwin jokes” the most common search which brings people here.

    However for some reason the next most common search so far this month is “john howard tracksuit”, with searches for “sam connell” at number 5.

  29. Richard’s avatar

    It’s therefore my public duty to mess with your stats by entering queries like ‘penguin+Molniya+metafiction+crenellation+Stilgherrian’ into my search engine of choice.

    By the way, it’s decision time for ‘late adopters’ like me. IE7 or Firefox?

  30. john’s avatar

    enough is enough dont you think we all like a good joke but come on.

  31. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Hey John, well, if people keep posting comments they’ll keep appearing — and as I mentioned, the main search-engine driven traffic to this site is still all about Steve Irwin jokes, two months later.

    I don’t mind that. Traffic is traffic, and maybe the joke-tellers and joke-readers will click on a link and read some of my more serious writing. It all helps.

    If only they could spell and type properly…

  32. Ridiculous Old Yak’s avatar

    Whenever anyone in the public eye dies, there are always, ALWAYS (sorry for shouting) a few small minded individuals who come online to do the ‘holier than thou’ bit.

    Pathetic!

    Steve Irwin in the morgue (well, kind of)
    http://www.didtheydie.com/morgue/steve_irwin.html

    Steve Irwin jokes thread:
    http://www.didtheydie.com/eulogy/viewtopic.php?t=20

    R.I.P.PER!

  33. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    I’ll leave the comment from Ridicullous Old Yak online, even though it’s obviously just trollbait to generate traffic to his commercial website — because at some stage I’ll write an article explaining how that business model works. It’s actually a good example of the genre — in the sense that it illustrates the point nicely.

  34. Mr Toothpick’s avatar

    Steve Irwin was asked in an interview what his favourite tv show was, he said, it has to be thunderbirds, but ill always have a place in my heart for Stingray…

  35. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Mr Toothpick didn’t bother looking at our original posting, did he. Otherwise he would have seen that we’ve got this one already.

    Mind you, if he’s still so eager to post a joke about Steve Irwin three and a half months after his death, Mr Toothpick is, we can only assume, a bit slow…

  36. $hit4brain$’s avatar

    Yes, I’m late, slow, etc. Yes, I may be a putz for still coming around hoping for a new joke that is not being repeated. I still enjoy telling them to the folks that haven’t heard them yet. I start out with “OK, I must warn you these jokes are pretty “barb”aric. Cheers!

  37. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    I’ve closed comments on this post and the other post of Steve Irwin jokes. Nothing new is turning up, and I’m just having to delete abusive comments from idiots.

  38. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    I’m re-opening comments on this post because currently this page is the #1 result in a Google search for “steve irwin jokes”. Cool? No, I didn’t think so either.

  39. BEN’s avatar

    WHEN RAY MARTIN INTERVIEWED TERRI IRWIN, HE COMMENTED ON WHAT A TOUGH BLOKE STEVE WAS BY PULLING THE BARB OUT OF HIS CHEST, TERRI REPLIED “THATS FUCKIN NOTHIN. TRY PULLING A BINDI OUT OF YOUR CUNT.”

  40. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @BEN: I’ve approved your comment despite the harsh language. I tend not to censor “bad words”, since in theory we’re all grown-ups in the 21st Century. it’s how you choose to speak and the world should see it in all its glory. But the all-caps is a bit tedious.

  41. Bailey’s avatar

    It’s funny because at my school when rumour got out Steve Irwin had died it was initially “Keith Urban died!!!”
    and that all alarmed us because, he had just gotten married to Nicole. Crazy how chinese whispers can change the truth

  42. Raymond’s avatar

    A visitor to Australia Zoo claims he saw a Crocodile dropping money in the Sting Ray tank at Australia Zoo

  43. Raymond’s avatar

    This summer, Miramax brings you “Stingray: The Crocodile Hunter Hunter”

  44. Raymond’s avatar

    Steve Irwin: Argghhh! This stingoes stuff doesn’t do jack!

  45. Stupidgirl’s avatar

    Steve Irwin defeated Chuck Norris……
    With his baby in his hands.

  46. MORTON’s avatar

    Steve Irwin died the way he lived, with animals in his heart

  47. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    I’m closing comments on this post. The few comments which have been posted in recent months are mostly from people who can’t seem to see beyond an overly-simplistic “He’s a hero” or “You’re lame”. Very few of them can even spell properly. And none are adding anything positive to the discussion. Time to move on.

Comments are now closed.