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Julie, I want to make you a star (in a Samantha Fox kind of way)

01 September 2007 in Music, Politics by Stilgherrian | 9 comments

Julie… Julie Bishop, they just don’t appreciate you. I know they make fun of you on Facebook. But I think you’re a neo-con sex kitten.

And you know, when I linked to Samantha Fox singing Touch Me last week, that was just to make a joke about Andrew P Street. That was just me trying to be clever. I realise now that was so immature. Andrew means nothing to me. I’ve realized the truth — you’re as sexy as Samantha Fox ever was!

Photography comparing Samantha Fox with Julie Bishop

Julie… Julie Bishop, I don’t ever want anyone except you. Samantha Fox is just a cheap slut. Those lyrics… I can’t hear them now without thinking of you!

Photograph of Samantha Fox

Like a tramp in the night
I was begging you
To treat my body like you wanted to

Those left-wing bastards at Crikey just make fun of you too. Unforgiveable! You have to meet George W Bush this week, you have to look your best, and they said:

New tie for Alexander Downer we expect! Julie Bishop combs her Safeway for the required 15 cans of Cedel.

Julie, they just don’t appreciate your beauty like I do. I know I write for Crikey sometimes but that doesn’t mean I share their narrow views.

Julie, will you be my neo-con sex kitten? Please?

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9 comments

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01 September 2007 at 4:58 pm

Snarky Platypus

Here is my angry comment demanding that I deserve credit for initially identifying the Julie Bishop/Sam Fox resemblance! (as well as making the neo-con sex kitten comment)

01 September 2007 at 5:01 pm

Stilgherrian

@Snarky Platypus: You’re right. I never would have found my true love without you. But noticing that Julie is a neo-con sex kitten? No, you are not the first. Far from it.

01 September 2007 at 8:49 pm

robbie

i would LOVE to see Julia on stage at the countdown spectacular 2 concerts - now that would be a hoot!
did someone mention similar zipper positions on the two ladies???

01 September 2007 at 11:16 pm

Rhys

ahhh Juilie, Julie Julie my Julie….

Hey, even naughty girls need love too!

02 September 2007 at 9:23 am

Stilgherrian

@robbie and Rhys: Welcome! In that early Sunday morning blur, when you’re not quite properly awake, you can flip between looking at a photo of Julie and that photo of Samantha and the two just kind of merge in your mind. The rhythm of the song matches the rhythm of your hand — and it feels so so good.

Anyway I’d better have a shower now.