This episode’s lead topic is the report that NSW Police are lecturing parents who let their children walk to the shops or catch a bus on their own.

I counter this idiocy with the map showing how in just four generations children’s range of action has been cut from six miles to 300 metres, my own experiences as a child, and the Free Range Kids project.

We also hear the misery of entries into NBN Co’s “Name the Satellites” community involvement outreach PR project thingy, and review the wonder that is SunRice Thai Satay Chicken Sauce with Rice.

You can listen to the podcast below. But if you want all of the episodes, now and in the future, subscribe to the podcast feed, or even subscribe automatically in iTunes.

If you’d like to comment on this episode, please add your comment below, or Skype to stilgherrian or phone Sydney +61 2 8011 3733. Not that anyone ever does.

[Credits: Audio grabs from The Police's Roxanne, SunRice Flavoured Quick Cups television commercial and the survival kit checklist Stanley Kubrick's film Dr Strangelove. The 9pm Edict theme by mansardian, Edict fanfare by neonaeon, all from The Freesound Project. Photograph of Stilgherrian taken 29 March 2009 by misswired, used by permission. Special thanks to Neil Gardiner.]

One core issue affected everything while we were living on our farm at Mount Compass: we were poor.

I suspect my father’s enthusiasm to have his own patch of land blinded him to the economic realities of trying to run this property as a dairy farm. He presumably bought it cheap after the drought of 1961, but I’m told the bank manager was sceptical — even though he still approved the loan.

The facilities were basic. The milking shed was a simple cement brick rectangle with a corrugated iron roof. The dams and concrete water tank were only constructed later, and initially the sole water source was the bore and its unreliable pump.

One image that stays with me is my father in the middle distance, striding through the overgrown bracken over to the pumphouse, often in heavy rain or even a storm, to get that damn pump working again.

The house was basic too, but more about that another time. And I’ll talk about the effects of being poor later too.

Today, though, the three factors that caused the farm’s continual financial struggles, and an explanation of that photo.

The 1960s saw dramatic changes in the dairy industry.

Traditionally, once the milk had been sucked out of the cows, in milking sessions early in the morning and at dusk, it was stored in metal milk cans. These were collected daily — after the morning milking session, so milk wasn’t standing around in the heat of the day — on a flat-bed truck and taken to the factory where the milk was pasteurised and bottled, or turned into cream, cheese, ice cream or whatever.

In the 1960s, though, bulk handling systems were introduced. Each farm had to buy a refrigerated stainless steel vat, big enough to store three days’ worth of production. The milk factory’s tanker truck came only three times a week. The driver ran a bacteriological test to confirm your farm’s milk was OK to pump into the collection in his tank. Fail the test, and you’d have to discard everything in your vat. He’d also measure the milk’s fat content and other quality factors, since that helped determine what you were paid, not just the volume of milk.

Bulk handling, plus the simultaneous introduction of other milking shed equipment and even better wide-area irrigation systems, meant that larger-scale farms with paid employees could significantly increase production and reduce costs. The farm-gate price of milk dropped. Husband-and-wife farms like ours, with just 25 to 30 cows in milk, became uneconomical.

There was also another severe drought in 1965-1968. That meant buying in feed for the cows so they’d still produce milk. Profit margins were squeezed further. My father ended up taking on day jobs to make ends met — but I’m getting ahead of my story.

The third factor was particularly toxic. We were victims of a scam.

My parents could never understand why their milk production figures were only half that shown in the farm’s records. What were they doing wrong? It was years before they discovered the truth. After they’d bought the farm, a neighbour told them, but before they’d taken possession, the previous owner had brought in trucks and removed all the cows, replacing them with cheaper, less productive cows. Alas, by then the scammer was long gone, and in those days cattle often didn’t even have identifying ear-tags or tattoos, let alone the embedded microchips they have today. Too late.

Dairy farms are a 7-day operation, but somehow we managed to pay someone to run the place so we could take brief holidays.

Our usual destinations were the seaside towns in South Australia’s Copper Triangle, now branded the Copper Coast to include a few more tourist destinations. Wallaroo, where an uncle had a beach shack, or Port Hughes, which is where today’s photo was taken some time in the early 1960s.

I can remember the long, hot drive up through Port Wakefield and Kadina. We’d usually stop at both for a cool drink, and fellow South Australians over a certain age will know all about Woodies Lemonade. But the highlight was always arriving at Wallaroo and Price’s Bakery for their peppery Cornish pasties.

Price’s Wallaroo Bakery is still running today. I’ve marked it on the map. Maybe I should go and check out their pasties again.

Holidays were very simple. Splashing in the shallows of the ocean. Fishing off the jetty. Fresh fish and chips. Reading on the verandah. Walking in the sand dunes and pretending — no, wishing, really wishing! — I was somewhere far, far more exotic.

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I’m fairly sure this photo was taken at the same home at 43 Adelaide Road, Gawler that I mentioned last time. There’s other photos from that time too, and I’ve just now posted them on Flickr.

However I’m told that in 1961 we moved to live on a farm near the village of Kersbrook in the Adelaide Hills — although I have no memory of this at all. As shall now be usual, there’s a map over the jump.

I do have memories of the Gawler house, though. Fuzzy ones. Lying in a pram looking at the plaster mouldings in a white ceiling. The green leaves of the nasturtium plants in the back garden contrasting with the reddish brown of the corrugated iron fence. The yellow of the pumpkins.

My mother always had a fruit and vegetable garden. She grew up near Roseworthy, daughter of a farming family, and the women did gardens. That would have been even more important given that she was a child during the Depression and World War II. There was always fresh fruit and vegetables when they were in season, and jams and pickles and preserved fruit when they weren’t wasn’t. Nothing was wasted.

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The next time you see a café menu listing a “satay tofu burger”, please remember this Venn diagram.

Truly, there is no such thing as a “satay tofu burger”.

A burger has meat in it. Tofu is not meat, even if you cut it into little animal shapes — and that’s just self-deception anyway.

Satay is a peanut sauce for grilled or barbecued meat. If it’s not meat, it should not have satay sauce on it. End of story.

And even if you were using meat, a satay burger? What a wanker!

Last night’s episode of Stilgherrian Live is now online for your viewing pleasure.

I reckon this was one of the smoothest-running programs ever, with more controlled ranting — or do you prefer the uncontrolled rants?

Senator Stephen Conroy was our clear winner of “Cnut of the Week” for his continued involvement in the creation of Australia’s Internet censorship regime.

I’d like to do next week’s program from outside the office. Not the Manly Ferry, as @JonoH wants, because it’ll be dark at 9.30pm. I’ll save that for a special Saturday or Sunday afternoon edition — which would be better? So where should I pick? Somewhere that’ll be accessible and interesting after 9.30pm on a Thursday night.

Oh, and did you see the special impromptu edition the other night? It’s in four parts, episode 30A parts 1, 2, 3 and 4. There’s a naked bottom to be seen, amongst other things.

• Social networking comes of age, sort of | MISaustralia.com: Renai LeMay’s article for the Australian Financial Review, based on material gathered at PubCamp.
• IT List | Skippy’s List: “42 Things That I Am No Longer Allowed To Do in IT”, beginning with “1 Not allowed to randomly rickroll users upon login to the application”. Somewhat amusing.
• Seven dirty words | Wikipedia: The seven English words comedian George Carlin listed in his monologue “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television”, and a history of the furore this routine started.
• 7 things you can’t say on the Internet | evolvingWe: Following comedian George Carlin’s death, Josh Legard compiled this list. Read it, digest it, help prevent groupthink.
• La Boheme – Restaurant Reviews | smh.com.au: I’m told we should go to this restaurant some time. Gotta love a review which starts, “Those of us who fancy a bit of porcine action…”.
• Direct Note Access :: celemony_: Peter Neubäcker’s new Melodyne version 2 software can identify and edit individual notes within polyphonic audio material. This is extremely cool, and extremely important.
• Top 500 supercomputers: Welcome to the petaflop generation | NetworkWorld.com Community: Welcome to the petaflop generation. The new most powerful supercomputer in the world is IBM’s US$100 million Roadrunner system at the Department of Energy’s Los Alamos National Laboratory.

• 100 Must-Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library | The Art of Manliness: In comparison with my recent post of 5 book for bloggers (as if they're a homogeneous bunch!), here's one group's suggestion for books "every man should read". Uhuh.
• Dipping: Pool Crashing in the UK Becomes Latest Google Earth Prank |Gizmodo: The latest craze is "dipping," or gatecrashing someone else's swimming pool, selected using Google Earth.
• ThinkGeek Bluetooth Retro Handset | ThinkGeek: I think I want one. And currently only US$29.99.
• How to eat at a Sushi Bar | YouTube: A wonderful 8-minute film explaining the, erm, finer points of sushi etiquette. Muchly good. Thanks, Jeff!

• Detroit Digital Vinyl | Submerge Digital E-store: Classic Detroit techno vinyl converted to 320kps MP3 with (generally) no DRM protection. Detroit Digital vinyl started out as collaboration between legendary Techno label Submerge, Underground Resistance and Electrofunk Records.
• Latest T-Shirts | Royaltech by Benn Glazier: If you like techno, real techno, you may well like these t-shirts.
• Tony Abbott – Friend of the Long Nosed Bandicoot | First Dog on the Moon: One of the funniest cartoons ever from First Dog, though you do have to know who Tony Abbott is. (He's an Australian politician.)
• Alison Young BarCamp Twitter Talk | SlideShare: "What the heck is this Twitter thing about? The why & how for max fun." Alison Young's presentation from BarCampSydney, April 2008. Eight slides, real quick.
• Chips, gravy & cheese FTW! | BrightKite: So this is the future? "Here's what I had for lunch." With a location map. This WILL become normal.
• Mark Pesce's "The Nuclear Option" | YouTube: "Our social networks, now so accelerated by hyperconnectivity, allow the perfect meeting of message and audience. Oh, and some stuff about how cool Twitter is! From the Walkley Public Affairs Conference on Social Media, Sydney, 5 May 2008."
• Bill Bailey Kraftwerk Tribute | YouTube: The Hokey Kokey sung live in the style of Kraftwerk.
• Enterprise 2.0 – What is it good for? | CIO: "A 12-step guide to getting the most out of Web 2.0 tools and making it safe-for-purpose." excellent sound bits from Stephen Collins.

Or, as we say in English, “Kangaroo red curry stir-fry is very yummy!” And it is. Kangaroo goes so well with curry you’d almost think they were Thai beasts to begin with.

The Marrickville Organic Food Market provided both the kangaroo rump and most of the vegetables this morning — snow peas, capsicum, Swiss brown mushrooms and green pepper.

The Chinese greengrocer told us that kangaroo meat smells too strongly. She feeds it to her dogs. She has no idea what she’s missing. Still, her fresh vegetables are one of the bonuses of the Markets, as are the fresh steamed dumplings from Chinese Dim Sum King. The King will do your catering, too: chinese_dim_sum@hotmail.com or 0411 456 750.

Now I’m wondering whether I should get ’Pong to write up the recipe. Maybe it should stay our secret.

• Dissociative Identity Disorder | Wikipedia: This is what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder. I'm reading about it because a friend was recently so diagnosed.
• End Of Speculation: The Real Twitter Usage Numbers | TechCrunch: Michael Arrington's article begins: “Speculation about Twitter’s new round of financing is leading everyone to speculate on Twitter’s actual penetration into the “mainstream”, or lack thereof.
• Upside Down Text Generator: A silly utility for turning text upside down. Fun for all the family. ??u??p ?s?l ???? p?? ???? ?ou plno?s ?ll??? ? [OK, so it doesn't work in this cross-feed.]
• ACMA Communications Report 2006-07: The Australian communications & Media Authority's annual report to parliament. The numbers aren't as recent as they could be, but still lots of good data.
• A Visit to Beijing's Exclusive Penis Restaurant | Spiegel Online: A specialist restaurant serves painstakingly decorated gourmet meals made only from the naughty bits.
• Learning to Live Like an Early Bird | WSJ.com: Tips for turning a night person into a morning person. I'm already a morning person, but I know people who could use this…

The package, according to my amateur knowledge of German, says: “Sea hake fillet in dill sauce with spinach leaf and carrot purée”. Sounds great, eh? The contents, alas…

This is one photo from a series of 100 called werbung gegen realität where the photographer has juxtaposed images from the packaging of processed food with what’s actually inside. This may be Germany, but I reckon it ain’t any different here in Australia. (Hat-tip to Boing Boing.)

Yesterday’s experimental lunch at Kelly’s on King, the Irish theme pub at 285 King Street, Newtown, was a success.

Previously, Kelly’s got their food from Cafe C next door. Recent renovations added their own kitchen, so I figured it was worth a try.

“I’d better start thinking like a backpacker then,” snarked the Snarky Platypus. And yes, like most pretend-Irish pubs, late at night Kelly’s is full of loud, drunken arseholes. Avoid. But during the day it’s quiet, perfect for a cleansing ale and watching the world. A newspaper and conversation pub, if you like.

We had a perfectly adequate chicken penne (pictured) and a “Portuguese” chicken with rocket, sun-dried tomatoes and a few well-made potato wedges — the latter a not-too-fattening serving size. Great presentation.

The wine list is minimal — only four whites, for example. An Irish pub is about beer and whiskey. However with two decent sauvignon blancs that’s acceptable.

The Platypus and I have added Kelly’s on King to our regular rotation.

Ah yes, what every post-modern terrorist needs: a Hello Kitty brand AK-47. A steal at just US$1072.95! Thanks for the pointer, Boing Boing.

I think it even beats the bacon chocolate bar! “Crisp, buttery, compulsively irresistible bacon and milk chocolate combination has long been a favourite of mine,” says the creator. Gluten-free, apparently, so it’s healthy, OK? Thanks again, Boing Boing.

[Update 16 January 2008: This page is still getting several hundred visitors a month. I'm curious. How did you get to this page? What brought you here? And while you're here, do feel free to look around and maybe even post a few comments.]