1. Fisting Twitter and the birth of “trend fisting” (1 March) I daresay that for many visitors this piece wasn’t what they were really looking for. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting Twitter case study. For some value of “interesting”.
2. So what is Stilgherrian, exactly? (12 April) Almost as popular as the official About Stilgherrian, which isn’t listed here because technically it’s not a “post”.
3. Virgin Blue’s mistake reveals countless selfish whingers (15 November) A combination of a good headline and being listed at mUmBRELLA helps boost traffic.
4. Live Blog: Politics & Technology Forum 2009 (22 February) Again, proof that a slow, steady audience over time can be of great value.
5. Jim Wallace’s pro-censorship lies and distortions (26 January) Wallace speaks for the Australian Christian Lobby about Internet censorship, using the “extreme libertarian” straw man and other fallacious debating tricks.
6. Special Melon Pepperoni Edition now online! (28 March) It’s probably less that this post is about an edition of Stilgherrian Live, more that it includes Andrew Bolt’s astoundingly tasteless slur on those who oppose Internet censorship.
7. What now for Senator Conroy and the Magic Filter? (30 March) Again, not what I’d have picked from my many writings about Internet censorship, but there you go.
8. Conversations are not markets, people! (26 July) A long ranty piece that seems to have struck a chord.
9. Project TOTO: the #secretmission has begun! (19 May) Interesting that the post announcing this project was the most popular, and then interest declined. Why? My guess is that visits to this post were inflated by so many people commenting on The Gnome Incident rather than the substance of the project. There’s a lesson in there somewhere.
10. Live Blog: ALIA Information Online 2009, Day 1 (20 January) This is a big surprise. However we’ve now moved well out of the long head of very popular content and all sorts of factors could come into play. I suspect that traffic to this page was a short, sharp spike around the time of the conference and then virtually nothing since.

Many older posts also continued to be popular.

Indeed, 5 of the top 10 posts of all time are not from this year, and it took longer to work down the list to find a Top 10 for 2009 than it did to find the Top 10 of all time — yet more proof that the more material you have on your website the more visits you’ll get. Don’t delete your old material, people!

This could also explain why the Top 10 above is mostly from the first half of the year.

OK, the Top 10 posts of 2009 that weren’t written in 2009.

1. So this is human sexuality? July (2008) Little more that a collection of the popular words from sex-related spam, it continues to attract 2000-odd visits a month.
2. Julie, I want to make you a star (in a Samantha Fox kind of way) (September 2007) My ode to Julie Bishop, popular because of its photograph of Samantha Fox.
3. Live Blog: Internet censorship forum (November 2008) Can anyone tell me why this post is the most popular of the many I wrote about Internet censorship prior to this year?
4. Hello Kitty, you’re dead, and other surprise products (October 2007) People link to the (fake) photo of the Hello Kitty AK-47. Few seem to realise it’s a joke.
5. Film Review: “Joy Division” (February 2008) I think most people link here for the classic photo of Joy Division by Kevin Cummins.
6. Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please (January 2008) My tasteless experiment in Googlebaiting continues to attract visitors.
7. More Steve Irwin jokes (September 2006) Another lesson: Providing a forum for the lowest common denominator of society generates hits — but are they of lasting value?
8. The Madness of Corey Worthington Delaney (January 2008) And speaking of lowest common denominator…
9. What’s wrong with used knickers? (December 2007) Well, it’s a fair question, isn’t it?
10. Used knickers, revisited (January 2008) I detect a theme developing here. Thank goodness we’ve reached #10.

You might also like to check out my own selection for what I think was best, plus the lists for previous years:

• Most popular posts of 2008
• Most popular posts of 2007

1. Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please. It’s rather depressing to discover that my tasteless little experiment was this year’s highlight. Maybe I should’ve put advertising on this page.
2. So this is human sexuality?
3. How do you treat your staff? Like 37signals, or like this prick?
4. Topic 9 to discuss Australia 2020 Summit’s government topic. This is actually spurious, as most hits are from link-following robots attempting to spam my blog at topic9.com.au (which has been since been abandoned).
5. 67 Australian SAS captured airbase defended by 1000, though most of this traffic is to see the photo. The miltech fanboys are incapable of hosting their own photos, it seems, because most of their troll-filled forums don’t allow people to upload photos. Dark Ages.
6. About Stilgherrian, which would seem to be a popular second page for people to visit once they’ve arrived here for other reasons.
7. Corey Delaney, freedom fighter (for the right to party) — and increasingly I think Mr Corey Worthington Delaney is one of the true heroes of 2008. But not thereafter.
8. Spaceport America, designed by Foster+Partners.
9. Jason Calacanis and the Evil Cult of the Internet Start-up.
10. Achtung! Die grosskapitalistischen Hühner kommen!

As with last year’s list, I’m somewhat disappointed with the results. I’ll therefore choose my own selection of “best” posts, just like I did last year.

And the results for all posts over time, not just those published in 2008?

1. Julie, I want to make you a star (in a Samantha Fox kind of way). Most of this traffic is to see the “revealing” photo of Samantha Fox. This page is also still currently the number one Google search result for “neocon sex kitten”. Thank you, Julie Bishop!
2. Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please.
3. So this is human sexuality?
4. How do you treat your staff? Like 37signals, or like this prick?
5. Topic 9 to discuss Australia 2020 Summit’s government topic.
6. 67 Australian SAS captured airbase defended by 1000.
7. Hello Kitty, you’re dead, and other surprise products, another “let’s hotlink to the photo” spurious result.
8. About Stilgherrian.
9. More Steve Irwin jokes, which was our Number One last year.
10. Corey Delaney, freedom fighter (for the right to party)

That compares with 33 related to Corey Worthington Delaney and 2 to Steve Irwin.

In total there are 1773 different search phrases so far this month. Here’s the full Top 100.

search phrase	views	% of searches
heath ledger jokes	2286	30.8 %
corey delaney	544	7.3 %
heath ledger dead jokes	335	4.5 %
heath ledger joke	219	2.9 %
heath ledger	175	2.3 %
heath ledger death jokes	142	1.9 %
jokes about heath ledger	140	1.8 %
steve irwin jokes	98	1.3 %
stilgherrian	98	1.3 %
corey worthington delaney	94	1.2 %
corey delaney naked	79	1 %
corey delaney child porn	55	0.7 %
heath ledger dead joke	55	0.7 %
www.vodaphone.com.au	45	0.6 %
ledger jokes	34	0.4 %
heath leger jokes	28	0.3 %
corey worthington	28	0.3 %
corey delaney myspace	28	0.3 %
personal	23	0.3 %
vodaphone.com.au	22	0.2 %
corey delaney pornography	22	0.2 %
jokes heath ledger	22	0.2 %
corey worthington child porn	21	0.2 %
heath ledger jokes death	19	0.2 %
dead heath ledger jokes	18	0.2 %
corey delaney t-shirts	18	0.2 %
corey delaney child pornography	17	0.2 %
heath ledger jokes dead	16	0.2 %
used knickers	16	0.2 %
jokes about the death of heath ledger	16	0.2 %
corey delaney quotes	15	0.2 %
business	15	0.2 %
heath ledger tasteless jokes	13	0.1 %
corey delaney worthington	13	0.1 %
child porn	12	0.1 %
corey delaney porn	12	0.1 %
tasteless heath ledger jokes	12	0.1 %
corey delaney website	12	0.1 %
corey worthington porn	12	0.1 %
corey delaney shirt	11	0.1 %
corey worthington child pornography	10	0.1 %
corey delaney party	10	0.1 %
heath ledger death joke	10	0.1 %
jokes about heath ledger s death	10	0.1 %
howard	10	0.1 %
heath ledger joke dead	10	0.1 %
heath ledger is dead jokes	10	0.1 %
steve irwin joke	9	0.1 %
cory delaney	9	0.1 %
drug overdose jokes	9	0.1 %
heath ledger and jokes	9	0.1 %
false	9	0.1 %
jokes on heath ledger	9	0.1 %
heather ledger	8	0.1 %
paul neil milne johnstone	8	0.1 %
corey delaney jokes	8	0.1 %
corey worthington shirts	8	0.1 %
stilgherrian.com	8	0.1 %
corey delaney shirts	7	0 %
enmore	7	0 %
corey worthington naked	7	0 %
daylight	7	0 %
supernaut	7	0 %
corey delaney video	7	0 %
space	7	0 %
samanta fox	7	0 %
corey delaney photo	7	0 %
leila mckinnon corey	6	0 %
corey delaney cartoon	6	0 %
heather ledger jokes	6	0 %
natasha	6	0 %
fruit carving	6	0 %
corey worthington arrested	6	0 %
corey t shirts	6	0 %
sam connell	6	0 %
steve	6	0 %
flickr	6	0 %
steve irwin death jokes	6	0 %
corey t-shirts	6	0 %
lolcat	6	0 %
bernadette mcmenamin	6	0 %
thai brothel	6	0 %
heath ledger jokes tasteless	6	0 %
ledger joke	6	0 %
samantha fox	6	0 %
gay navy sex	6	0 %
heather ledge	6	0 %
www.vodaphone.com	5	0 %
stilgherrian.com/personal/prussia_net_vs_skank_media/ new prussia	5	0 %
heath ledger overdose jokes	5	0 %

Some of other entries in the list are a worry…

Just 24 hours ago, actor Heath Ledger died. Before most people even knew he was dead, I’d set up a web page asking for jokes about his death and I placed an advertisement (pictured) on Google. Tasteless. But there was a porpoise. This was Science!

Here’s what I’ve learned so far. If you have any questions as you read this, please ask them. I’ll be exploring the data more deeply over the next few days.

Actually, before we get to the juicy numbers, my motivations:

• I’d just read a great article reminding me how Google AdWords can bring traffic to your website quickly and cheaply. How fast? Let’s try!
• My page of jokes about Steve Irwin’s death still pulls a couple hundred readers every month. Regular readers know that shits me.
• Here was a breaking news story and I was ready to pounce. A perfect opportunity to see what I could learn.
• You didn’t think I’d respond to the media circus of a star’s death by mourning, did you?

According to Crikey‘s media timeline, Ledger died around 7.30am Sydney time. News broke 45 minutes later, and by 8.35am it was in Australia’s mainstream media. Just 65 minutes from death to TV news. Such is the imperative to stay ahead of the media pack by being the pack.

My jokes page was ready for business just before 10am, around 2.5 hours after Ledger’s death. The first joke was posted at 10.25am, and 8 minutes later I was called an “asshole”.

I’m not exactly sure when my Google AdWords effort went online, because I had to create an account and figure out how it worked. I’m guessing around 11am because that’s when the real flood of traffic started.

I’d bought spots in the search results for “heath ledger”, “heath ledger dead” and “heath ledger joke”. The last two cost 6 cents a click-through, but “heath ledger” by itself was 50 cents. Murdoch’s news.com.au was already advertising their own story on Google too, as were some celebrity gossip sites.

I burned off $20 in about half an hour, showing the advert to 2,758 people. 41 of them clicked through to my page. That’s a click-through ratio (CTR) of 1.48%.

I threw more money into the pot at lunchtime, but the price of a “heath ledger dead” click had gone up to 38 cents. Still, another 7,279 views generated another 168 readers, a CTR OF 2.3%. Interestingly, they all came from searches for “heath ledger” rather than “heath ledger dead” — a reminder that most people don’t think very hard before typing in their search terms.

Another 19,319 people were shown the ad on Google’s “content network” — that is, non-Google sites which show Google AdSense advertisements. That generated another 41 clicks.

For a total spend of $115.25 I got 254 new website visitors. That led to more than 40 comments posted.

Let’s put that into perspective…

My page was visited by 254 people who wanted to know about Heath Ledger. It happened in under an hour, and cost me less per person — just 45 cents each — than sending them a letter. That’s as an absolute beginner, with no planning and certainly no fine-tuning.

I’d like to have brought another batch of punters to the page once there were a few jokes online but, 8 hours after I started my experiment, the price of “heath ledger dead” hit A$6.50, and it’s still there. Too expensive for an initial experiment, but perhaps worth it if you were selling expensive Heath Ledger memorabilia.

So, the initial lessons:

• Yes, Google AdWords deliver traffic fast. Very fast. Have everything ready before you start.
• Have a clear goal in mind, and tailor your “landing page” appropriately. My goal was “Let’s see how this works,” so I didn’t think too hard. If you have a commercial goal you’ll need to think more clearly.
• General search terms like “heath ledger” are usually more expensive that more specific ones. Like “heath ledger joke”. But more specific terms can tailor traffic to your exact needs. Specific terms can change price rapidly if they’re part of an unfolding news story.
• You can monitor it, and tailor things on the fly. Google’s reports can be a couple hours behind in giving you data, but that’s still “immediate” in most business timeframes.

None of this is new to anyone who’s used Google AdWords before. But most small businesses aren’t even aware that you can even advertise on Google! So as I orient some clients to all this I’ll share my lessons.

More details as I dig through the numbers. Any questions?

Yes, Australian actor Heath Ledger is dead, possibly from a drug overdose. So now it’s time to collect all the jokes, ‘cos he can’t sue you for libel. Please add them in the comments.

Tasteless? Yes. Exploitative? Probably. Too soon for this? Yeah probably that too.

So why do it?

It’s an experiment…

More than a year after the event, a collection of jokes about Steve Irwin’s death is still one of the most heavily-visited pages on this website. More than half of the searches bringing people here are for Corey Worthington Delaney.

Tasteless is what you want, so tasteless is what you’ll get.

We’ll even throw in the phrases “heath ledger porn” and “heath ledger naked” to help things along. Index that, Google!

The comments will be moderated, but not heavily. They may take a while to show up because — oddly enough! — there are other things to do.

[Update: Scroll down to find the comments thingy. Try to spell properly. And if you're going to whinge that "It's too soon to make jokes," then at least suggest how long someone has to be dead before they're not sacred any more. And try to spell properly.]

[Update 27 January 2008: The two rules about relevance are now being enforced. Comments will not be published if (1) they repeat jokes which have already been posted, unless they're substantial improvements, or (2) they're just some anti-gay comment that doesn't have any relevance.]

[Update 3 January 2009: Comments have now been closed. See my very last comment for the reasons.]

• Website traffic doubled for a couple of days.
• I was blogged about by Tim Dunlop over in Murdochland.
• People from my past emerged from the woodwork — including Keith Conlon, the man who first taught me broadcasting.

Weird coincidences upped the traffic too:

• Interest in Australia’s new ambassador to Italy, Amanda Vanstone, led more than 400 people to read my posting about Boost juice bars.
• 200 people looking for live TV coverage of the space shuttle landing found my post about the previous shuttle touchdown.

But I’m still getting plenty of folks looking for those goddam Steve Irwin jokes , or discovering how to spell Vodafone.

There is an Almighty, and a gift of that Almighty to every man, woman and child on the face of the Earth is freedom.

And this, apparently, is part of his argument for legislation which intends to legitimise evidence gained through torture, create “military commissions” where hearsay is admissible as evidence and other “tools necessary to protect the American people in this war on terror” and keep people like David Hicks imprisoned without charge or trial for another four years.

Ah yes, freedom…

The whole speech is worth reading because it’s a fine example of how to do propaganda. And perhaps I’ll write more about that another time, if anyone’s interested?

Or would more Steve Irwin jokes be more suitable?

[Update 23 January 2008: Since Steve Irwin jokes are very popular on this website, you might also want to start posting Heath Ledger death jokes. Just as mindlessly tacky.]

• Steve wouldn’t have died if he were wearing sunscreen, it would have protected him from harmful rays.
• Q: Why is Trudie Styler like Steve Irwin? A: Both have been penetrated by Sting.
• Steve Irwin asked for a certain song to be played at his funeral: Don’t Stand So Close to Me by Sting. (Alternatively, Dead Heart by Midnight Oil, and selections from Queen‘s Sheer Heart Attack.)
• Q: What do Steve Irwin and Indiana Jones have in common? A: They both have a hol(e)y chest.

And if I hear any more, I’ll post them here as comments.

Oddly enough, another “Australian icon” died last week: legendary racing car driver Peter Brock wrapped himself around a tree. And yet he hasn’t spawned a series of jokes. Why is that, I wonder?

Scroll down for more Steve Irwin Jokes in the comments.

[Update 19 April 2009: I'm closing comments on this post. The few comments which have been posted in recent months are mostly from people who can't seem to see beyond an overly-simplistic "He's a hero" or "You're lame". Very few of them can even spell properly. And none are adding anything positive to the discussion. Time to move on.]

When a journalist asked what his favourite TV show was as a kid, Steve Irwin couldn’t decide. He said that he liked Thunderbirds, but he’ll always have a place in his heart for Stingray.

Thanks, Richard. What took you so long?

[Update 23 January 2008: Since Steve Irwin jokes are very popular on this website, you might also want to start posting Heath Ledger death jokes. Just as mindlessly tacky.]