Oh dear. That seminar’s presentation is in PoweProint. With bullets. And slow reveals. And everything it shouldn’t have. I am ashamed.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: US consumer confidence at lowest recorded level since records started in 1967 http://is.gd/eeua Well yes…
@SnarkyPlatypus Maybe I should dust off the “Effective Comms” seminar I did for IBM Asia-Pacific about writing like an actual human.
@SnarkyPlatypus Oh not just that article! Almost EVERYTHING written about telcos is full of moronic jargon and empty clches.
RT @M_Hickinbotham: Fortune: ‘The future of wireless is Down Under’. Profiles Telstra Next G. http://is.gd/eetL [Bonus Trujillo hagiography]
@andrewbarnett Actually I’m rather good this morning, the best I’ve felt all week actually. I’m hoping this is a Sign.
RT @andrewbarnett: It’s OK - after some shaking, netbank woke, threw up in a bucket, then got to work
Codeine FTW! (Oh… No exclamation marks, please. They hurt.)
RT @andrewbarnett: netbank is clearly still passed out on the back lawn :-/
RT @shelisrael: Here’s a real idiotic thought: Peace on Earth. Goodwill to humankind. That ought to leave some folk rolling in the aisles.
@ApostrophePong Good morning. “Ask not what 2009 can do for you, but what you can do for 2009”, you mean?
@seancarmody @jeffsonstein Hi chaps, and Happy New Year. :) I think I’ll have to do a generic HNY message to get thru the day.
@nwjerseyliz @Lilylauren @SnarkyPlatypus Happy New Year and no, @Lilylauren, no need to sing. ;)
Emerges, in a New Year. so, this is 2009. It’s quiet.
HNY.
RT @josh909: Does everyone else feel that the world would be a better place without Andrew G? [Yes. Definitely.]
So, we’re watching “Razzle Dazzle”, and @ApostrophePong is threating to play all the songs on #twitterrage. Be afraid.
Going off-grid to enjoy @ApostrophePong’s Masaman Curry and whatever dodgy drinks are in the fridge.
@SnarkyPlatypus: “People who weren’t on the whiteboard were a: offended, b: a platypus and c: wanted an avatar as well.” http://is.gd/efSD
Definitely mouthwash.
@Nickhodge Does not your son have, like, school to go to?
@firstdogonmoon Congratulations on an AMAZING series of avatars, Sir!
@Nickhodge I want to get away from being a sysadmin but then yesterday someone offered to pass me all his clients and like, good $. [sigh]
@Nickhodge One night I typed “halt” into the wrong Linux shell. Remote machine. Saturday night. Emergency sysadmin callout $600 kthxbai.
Because I am a grown-up geek, I am permitted to use “screenshot” as a verb.
@Nickhodge Look, Nick! I said “Thank you, Windows Server 2003”. http://is.gd/efz7 Screenshot that one, you don’t see it every day!
Thank you, Windows Server 2003, for warning me “Shutdown” requires a human at the remote location to start the computer. “Restart” please.
@Nickhodge @StuartLivesey Not paranoia. As you both know, HDDs can fail totally without warning. This must be done NOW.
Upgrading a client’s server backup software. Yes, you heard me. NYE. But do you really want to run with no backups running?
@ApostrophePong reports that the “Upsinthe Euphorizer” absinthe lemon soda pre-mixed drink tastes like mouthwash. http://is.gd/efjr
@ZebraBites The teapot has gone. Actually, there never was a teapot. People are going crazy at year’s end. Madness, I tell you!
RT @ikostar: @stilgherrian Well the psychedelic pseagull was the best avatar on the whole internet. [Better change back then!]
@shanegold @ZebraBites There’s a story behind the teapot, but maybe for another day. Should I revert to psychedelic pseagull?
@bengrubb Well the quoted speeds ARE maximums. Just like a car sold as “can do 180km/h” won’t actually achieve that on Parramatta Road.
@bengrubb I think @duncanriley wants to talk about Next G to someone who isn’t on Telstra’s payroll. Real-world speeds, not brochurehype. ;)
Those of you with idle hands (and eyes) may like to look at @ApostrophePong’s selection of 2008 photographs. http://is.gd/ef21
@garthk What you are seeing sounds like the Czech-built L39 Albatros. http://is.gd/ef0i [scroll down]
@garthk Please see http://www.jetfighter.co… to explain your UFO.
I don’t think it’s an obscure avatar at all!
@TwoDogs I accept your reality, Sir!
@SnarkyPlatypus @NathanaelB Australia has a two-tiered legal system too. All of us, and then Justice Einfeld.
Documentation complete. Desk not really presentable, but Care Factor plummeting. Can has gin?
@dizzystuff Your new avatar… That posture… Can you blow bubbles from that position? Just askin’…
@TheJamesGlover I’ve been told to follow you. Poor bastard.
And now REALLY back to writing that documentation!
@M_Hickinbotham I haven’t really thought it through and my brain is elsewhere today, bu do remind me to come back to these thoughts!
@ELROSS True, I have sympathy for anyone who is represented by Budd. :/
@M_Hickinbotham Agreed, decent mobile broadband helps SMEs. But most can barely use the tools they already have. Time to help ‘em catch up?
@waferbaby If you keep seeing me on King St (where I am many days) you should so more than just look. :P
@middleclassgirl Oh your avatar is full of WIN! http://tinyurl.com/7uawq @SnarkyPlatypus take note!
Enough frivolity and plummeting consumer confidence! Time to write some documentation. Baxoon.
@ELROSS Ah! The Special Bitter must be dishwater with Angostura. [nods] Now I understand!
@ELROSS @seancarmody Recommending Coopers over Fosters? I’d recommend stale dishwater over Fosters. If one could tell the difference.
@zbender Oh the core premise is OK: Next G is certainly a good network. But for Fortune it seems a bit of a light touch.
@M_Hickinbotham If we ran a diff between that Fortune piece and your original media release, how many changes would it reveal? ;)
@ApostrophePong Nah we get those guys t handle all the t-shirt-making and we just take royalties.
@ApostrophePong To link to SBS media you can’t use http://is.gd ‘cos it don’t handle the #anchor in the URL. :/ Use http://tinyurl.com
@andrewbarnett You suspect wrong. I would never endorse @thefuckingpope. We are all popes. All hail Eris!
@ApostrophePong @SnarkyPlatypus I’m guessing this is a big seller: http://is.gd/ejFH
RT @ApostrophePong: @stilgherrian King Cnut has already been â„¢. :( http://www.kingcnut.com [Botheration.]
RT @seancarmody: the view from 43 http://twitpic.com/y2jr
Le Bake on Enmore Rd will be open on New Year’s Day with freshly-baked bread. “We open. We bake. You buy. You eat.” Deal!
@SnarkyPlatypus Maybe you need to go work for News Corp. @jg_rat seems to find your perspective, erm, invaluable.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: I for one look forward to being recycled like a cheap paper mache pinata
@dizzystuff When will you answer the question I posted on your photo? http://tinyurl.com/8ncgs9 [Facebook link]
Hmmm… That’s going to put me into a very introspective mood today!
Wed plan (loosely): AM desk triage & client documentation; PM write end-of-year blog post & client email; NYE dinn@ApostrophePongophePong.
@shortyawards So, when you say nominations close at “midnight, December 31st”, you mean UTC, right? Unspecified is UTC. No? what then? ;)
Emerges for the last time in 2008. Oblique Strategies says “Be dirty”. OK then.
@wraptinweb I acknowledge your serious link and will read in the morning. Web 2.0 people are now vital but not appreciated http://is.gd/eaaO
Home. Unwinding.
OH: Virginia Trioli is just a bit of random minge.
@dedlam I’d never scream out a window, it’s not harmonious. ;)
@erkpod Ah, but it all depends on the “scale” of the typography. Haw haw haw.
Gym done. Courthouse Hotel packed, skipped. Carlisle Castle less-packed. There is a fish called Mahi-Mahi with my name on it, soon.
OH: I don’t really blame you for going up and saying “Oh yeah, ah, errrr.”
OH: Everybody wants to be Malcolm Turnbull. @TurnbullMalcolm, this was in Newtown!
(And let no-one say they weren’t thinking it too.)
@JonoH Sorry, did you say “Hot and sweaty”? [perks up]
DEAR EVERYBODY IN THE ENTIRE STREET, NO-ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE COLOUR OF ANYTHING JUST FUCK OFF OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY! JESUS!
Newtown. Hot. Sweaty. Horny. No, not horny. Grumpy. And annoyed. Hot. Sweaty. Yeah.
@Alegrya So you’re about to arrive Macdonaldtown?
@oliyoung It might slow the trains but oh! So totally worth it!
When a train finally arrives, I’d like to push that ugly child in front of it.
City loop trains late and out of order. Loop was closed 25 mins ‘cos guy threatened self-harm. Quicker to shoot him, I say.
@NathanaelB Good to see the phear has hit you already. No philter yet, but self-censor against its imagined power.
Slowly tubeworming home. Trying to feign enthusiasm for the gym.
@ragnarok1971 That, Sir, is a disturbing collection of people! ;)
@garthk No, fuck it. no re-coding of the video. It’s over. We’ll create something new in that time instead.
@comedy_nerd Well I have once said that an Exchange server is like your business’ compost heap. “Midden” works too.
@DCouch Tequila!
Exchange migration complete. Client happy. Stomach empty. You know what that means…!
Mmmmm… Pod people…
Exchange is being a pain in the arse. Who knew?
I can has laptop. Latest glitch: it’s not set up for the Exchange server from which we’re migrating. Can has login details kthxbai.
@mpesce Ahem, Good Sir. I did not, as you quaintly put it, “throw a tanty”. I would never do that. It was a polite enquiry.
@einspruch I think the combination of recommending Reiki and a song by Yes is definitely happy territory, ;)
@einspruch Bloody hippy.
@barrysaunders “Can The Internet Save The World?” is a fine article, though it links to me? I think not! http://idek.net/1AF
@trib Oh there are things I can do, but it’s not the order of play I’d prepared for. It requires me to Change.
@DavidFeng Alas if I only do virtual repairs I may only get paid virtual money.
On site at Darlinghurst. The laptop I’m about to reconfigure is not physically present. Superb.
@thetowncrier Agreed. Saw “Frost/Nixon” yesterday and it’s awesome. And funny. Great moofie.
@garthk Hamas and humus are not the same thing, right?
@seancarmody Some words are innately funny. http://is.gd/dVRi “Hovercraft” isn’t on the list but it should be. “Eels” was icing on the cake.
@JohnCleese The consensus seems to be that it is INNATELY funny to say “full of bees”. I, however, blame YOU and Rowan Atkinson personally.
@franksting It may be “SOOOO wrong”, but not as wrong as http://santasm.net ;)
@franksting Yes, there is a link. http://is.gd/3mEd
Now, is it innately funny to say “full of bees”, or only when @JohnCleese or Rowan Atkinson say it? http://is.gd/dVJq
@drunkenmadman Oh I agree, @HappySinger is FULL of bees!
@ecoknowgrapher Thank you for your compliments about my Christmas Message too, Sir! It is going to be an annual tradition now.
RT @earleyedition: [This] looks like @stilgherrian and @Colgo caught in an intimate moment. http://is.gd/dVF3
@drunkenmadman Twitter IS a hive mind, yes, but your hive currently has like 4 bees. You need more bees.
@SnarkyPlatypus @Nickhodge AsiaVision is going to be SO FULL OF WIN! http://is.gd/dVzs Like that msuic video over dinner last night.
@garthk I have already copied the vid to another drive. I want it to take up moar lesseror spacez on that drive.
Goat.
@kcarruthers @franksting I think it helps if you also nominate at @shortyawards so @firstdogonmoon makes the finals.
Oh. I can’t log into Microsoft Live Messenger. That’s gotta be a bonus.
Um, no, .zip compressing 40GB of raw video footage shall not take 231 hours thank you very much, you can do it later.
I notice that my nomination does not appear to have happened yet… [taps table]
@shortyawards I nominate @firstdogonmoon for a Shorty Award in #design because his charming cartoon avatars are taking over the world.
@oliyoung Intel’s MD mobile Internet device? New for me, thank you, I’ll check it out.
@seamus Wow the Modbook is a rather impressive-looking concept! Turn your macBook Pro into a tablet! http://is.gd/22DD
@Tarale And there is already an Apple tablet. It’s called the iPhone. ;) Want more surface? Glue a few together. Steve will love you for it.
@Tarale Evolution is all about niches. Niche markets are good. One Product To Rule Them All is old-fashioned.
@klintron [shrugs] Tools for jobs. There’ll be lotsa folks who bought OLPC XOs who end up hating them ‘cos [surprise!] they’re not 6yo.
(There seems to be a lot of stuff in the IT world which, unless it reaches 95% global market share, is tagged “failure”. Like cancer.)
@klintron In what way as the tablet PC “failed”? I have clients who use them as an essential part of their workflows.
I am liking some of the suggestions coming in for “Gname the Gnome!” http://is.gd/dUzy
@Nickhodge Dear Mr Hodge. I said “Sennheiser” not “Spandau” http://is.gd/dUXZ kthxbai. Tho a Sten gun… http://is.gd/dUYd
If I dismantle this Sennheiser microphone, will I be able to put it back together?
@Nickhodge The WD HDD is now Apple format. Time Machine is backing up my MacBook Pro not for the first time ever honestly. That’d be slack.
New blog post: “Gname the Gnome!” http://is.gd/dUzy Very, very important stuff!
@monnie Yes, I may well burn the printer. That’d make a good video actually! Toxic as all fuck though.
@TwoDogs Oh I TRIED selling that Lexmark printer on eBay a while back. Not a single bid.
Oh you losers Western Digital! Your terabyte My Book drive was formatted as FAT? No wonder you didn’t like my 8GB video files! LOL!
You can’t even give away Lexmark printers, it seems. And who can blame them?
@paulwallbank Please don’t get me started on Vista, @Nickhodge might be watching and he won’t enjoy what I say. ;)
Does anyone want a Lexmark Z611 inkjet printer? “New” in box? Well, a couple years old. It was a freebie from some promo, sitting unused.
I am glad an unexpected error occurred. I wouldn’t want you to expect errors to happen.
@alicam @RuthEllison I think Orwell was somewhat obsessed with recording the minutiae of daily life. So were many then. Like logging IRC. ;)
George Orwell is useless. He lost track of the eggs. http://is.gd/dTGU
So, I’m a seagull.
@wraptinweb Alas, online backups not quite suitable for us. We’re shooting HD video and can generate 30GB or 40GB of new data in a day.
@drunkenmadman @facibus The cheap-arsed white wine will suffice for this evening. ;)
@missdizzy As the great man once said, “If it hurts, you’re doin’ it wrong!”
@JonoH so what are you saying? That you’d like me to take care of the Spain trip for you? Oh no problem, man, when? ;)
So that task required talking with WebCentral, Melbourne IT, my SFO data centre and my own domain registry, Enetica. Can has gin kthxbai.
@susan_m Oh Bindi’s harmless. If a croc is to be released, point it in the general direction of her mother.
@garthk @jdub So what do your brains have in common that you had foreground/background swap when looking at my avatar?
@JonoH Oh it’d be easy to round up the Aussie Twitterers… just grab a couple of those Cessna Citations you love so much. And gin. ;)
RT @garthk: @stilgherrian, my eyes are falling out. I was reading your avatar background as its foreground. Ow ow ow. Ow.
@KateRichardson Thank you. Like so many new avatars, it’s the work of @firstdogonmoon. He’s clever.
RT @theinquisitr: “Do Not Want: Bindi Irwin Doll” - http://tinyurl.com/9nvrt9 [Can we buy them and release them into the wild?]
@earleyedition I appreciate the alleged pic of me and @Colgo being intimate, but http://is.gd/dXn6 clearly shows a pigeon, not a seagull. ;)
@JonoH W00t!
@PeterBlackQUT Your list, tho… http://is.gd/dOUy @michaelmeloni’s work indeed deserves the praise.
@Nickhodge [smirks] Yes, @PeterBlackQUT and I have met a couple of times and we both pretend to have enjoyed it.
@PeterBlackQUT Yes, when I need psychological advice I’d naturally turn to a… lawyer. :P
@kcarruthers Yeah lemurs may be cute, but if I just took my advice from whatever it was that was cute then my life would be… oh… wait.
@kcarruthers So explain to me again, why we are taking advice from a lemur?
RT @DDsD: Teenagers who skip breakfast ‘more likely to have sex’ - New Japanese Study Claims - http://tinyurl.com/8lav2o
Hmmm… I don’t known whether to leave my avatar as the gnome or the psychedelic pseagull.
@kcarruthers Of course I didn’t miss your irony. I’ve been nominated for an award in irony. http://bit.ly/T8KF
@kcarruthers Oh noes, is someone ELSE confusing “authority” with “popularity” or “well-linked”? “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
@fictillius Oh. alas, the only response I can think of is unprintable. Even by my standards. Maybe I’ll talk about seedless grapes instead.
@fictillius Yeah the extra ” ” should be OK. Unless you’re gay.
@jasonwryan That, sir, is just a disturbed suggestion! http://tinyurl.com/7ltork
@fictillius Yeah that last tweet needs work. And an extra space. Still, I like your koala.
@fictillius When you’re onTwitter, no-one knows you’re really masturbating on the train.
@firstdogonmoon You’re number 5 nominee for the Shorty Awards design category now. http://is.gd/b4Z5
@brandstaetter Some news services choose not to use the word “terrorist” because it pre-judges people as guilty under anti-terrorism laws.
There are many strange categories in the Shorty Awards. http://is.gd/cZnm I am certain to win one of them, should I be [cough] nominated.
In amongst all this fun, there is still time for the serious business of Gnaming the Gnome. http://is.gd/dUzy
@JonoH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!11! Does not want strange gay sailor man from Hotel CBD. He was moar scarierer than eva!
@firstdogonmoon is at number 9 now, rising nicely. http://is.gd/b4Z
I can’t help but notice [cough] that I haven’t been nominated for a Shorty Award at this time, and yet there it is.
I’m feeling a bit like Paul Eddington from “Yes Minister”. http://is.gd/dWtO
@zuzu In Newtown, good pizza can be had at Lucky’s (I’m told). If you cross the border to Enmore then San Remo on Enmore Rd is awesome.
@firstdogonmoon You really are having a ball, aren’t you!
@rbuerckner I have NO IDEA what my avatar is doing. In that sense, it is completely appropriate.
I see @firstdogonmoon is at number 11 and rising! http://is.gd/b4Z5 More nominations required for Top 10 stats.
@Nickhodge Exactly. @mpesce will come back from his afternoon granny-nap and bewilderment will set in. Early-onset dementia is so sad.
@SnarkyPlatypus I do like the phrase “psychedelic pseagull” too.
Oh the end of my beak is cut off! And anyone following this hours later will wonder WTF it’s all about.
@SnarkyPlatypus White-green colour blind. [nods] I am also cheese-cocaine blind.
@firstdogonmoon @SnarkyPlatypus http://twitpic.com/xjxc is rather nice, thank you! Let’s see how that shrinks!
@SnarkyPlatypus And since when are seagulls green?
@Nickhodge If you’re REALLY lucky I might show you my Circular Quay!
@SnarkyPlatypus How’s this new avatar then? :P
Liking the bright, saturated colours I’m starting to see in Twitteravatars today.
RT @chrismoreschi: 30 wordpress video tutorials. Good stuff here. http://bit.ly/cmmb
RT @robcorr: Kids who want to have sex will, but if not taught about contraception they won’t use it. Who woulda thought? http://is.gd/e46y
@markc May I ask what things you request Wotnews to send you if you’re sent THAT?
RT @markc: Wotnews sent me this as their #1 link in their email this morning http://tinyurl.com/a7a3v3 :) [Oh hai, @genrobey!]
@middleclassgirl “Goat dominatrix”? Hah! Try THIS search for size then! http://is.gd/e3Yx (Definitely NSFW!)
@SnarkyPlatypus Everything about me is appropriate, not just my avatar.
RT @garthk: @stilgherrian, you make an excellent Mysterious Oracle Hidden Under a Tree Root. Just sayin’.
So, Outlook XP on old computer, you’ve decided to crash. I hate you. I hate @SnarkyPlatypus too, but he has other uses so don’t tell him.