Kyle Sandilands should use Slandr. They’re running ads for a mobile lie detector.
The autocab has been summoned. I shall soon be en route to Paddington, specifally Metro Screen, for… something. #mslive
@vampSaam Glad you enjoy our little early-morning French waffles. As it were.
@wolfcat Horses have SMS now? Really? Lucky things, they can hear from Shane Warne!
@jeffjarvis Ah, a hypothetical! Truly dunno how I’d answer that. Offer me some money to write a book and I’ll see if I accept! ;)
Tweeting, Cricket Australia style: “We get the Twitter from Phillip and I feed them into our IT guy.” http://tr.im/uZxI
@Nickhodge Mind you, I spent all yesterday in a TV studio. http://tr.im/uZlF Streamed, not broadcast, but still…
So why are “new media” (my descriptor) experts like @jeffjarvis and @chr1sa so keen to sell their… books?
Reading about Tony Abbott. http://tr.im/uZf6 While in bed. Something is wrong with me.
Emerges. Disappointed that @unsungsongs was quasi-disappointed with my efforts at panda fantasy.
I think I’d better go now. [exit]
[unrelated question] How do you milk a panda, anyway?
@unsungsongs Also, if you Google for “panda fantasy” with safe search turned off… well… you’ve been warned, that’s all I’ll say.
@unsungsongs I often picture you with herds of pandas roaming the vast plains of central Asia. You usually wear spurs in those images.
@unsungsongs A pony. I think you should be a pony when you grown up. Or maybe a unicorn. If you’re up for it.
@mattvaughan Oddly enough, the only time I’ve had to deal with a speed-psychosis’d nutter with a knife, it was in Paddington, not Newtown.
Wondering why my face feels so weird, and realising it’s ‘cos I haven’t removed the TV makeup from this afternoon. Gawd.
Home.
Two morph videos to enjoy and play spot-the-face: Men in Film http://tr.im/uTNI and Women in Film http://tr.im/uTNU Hat-tip Narelle.
@seancarmody Look, jugs of cocktails is a totally wrong concept anyway, so does it come down to alcohol/$?
In respose to responses , yes, we’re returning to the real world of Newtown now. Like NOW. ETA 10 mins.
In Paddington the jugs of cocktails are $20. In Newtown, $10. Discuss.
“Snorting meth off a Bowie knife” WTF?
Why the fuck do the emotionally screwed-up weirdos always choose ME to talk to?
Paddington Inn.
For those who’ve asked, that “Stilgherrian Live” special edition will go online… somewhere… at some time… I’ll let you know.
Thank you all. That was fun. We’re striking the studio now, will pay more attention to everything once that’s done. #mslive
RT @DeanBarnett: Backstage @ #mslive http://twitpic.com/c7yn7
Tweeting from the presenter’s desk is a bit weird. #mslive
@fictillius The tweets would come into CoveritLive thru Twitter Search, which seems to be lagged today. #mslive
@grum This is primarily a training exercise for the Metro Screen folks, not a permanent change. ;) #mslive
Thank you to too many people who seemed to know that it’s “Something is wrong with my baby” http://is.gd/1Vpfw #mslive
Dear Twitterverse, have Jimmy (“Barnesy”) Barnes and John (“Farnsey”) Farnham ever sung together? #mslive
Looking at the rundown, this is actually a 90-minute program, and the hashtag is #mslive (for “Metro Screen LIve).
“Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special” is at 2pm AEST, explanation at http://tr.im/uOuE and stream at http://tr.im/uP7r #mslive
Less than an hour to air time. My makeup is done. They’re doing a run-through of a bizarre quiz/contest segment. #mslive
I am. #mslive
This is a lame-arsed test to see whether I’m correctly tracking the #mslive hashtag.
Two hours until showtime. Crew finalising camera set-ups and lighting for the game show. #mslive
@barrysaunders There is nothiing dubious about Thai whisky. Nothing. Also, we were not rowdy.
@mpesce Your comment that this photo http://tr.im/uPip looks like the 1960s has inspired one of my rants for “Stilgherrian Live”. #mslive
Reminder: “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special” 2pm SYD time. Explanation at http://tr.im/uOuE and stream at http://tr.im/uP7r #mslive
Fri plan (early!): Prep graphics; quick Crikey article; “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special” 2pm SYD time http://tr.im/uOuE; TGIF.
@SnarkyPlatypus Il est nécessaire pour moi de vous étrangler, puis marcher lourdement sur votre corps avec de lourdes bottes.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Il ya une certaine qualité de la matinée, ce qui peut être classé comme “inquiétante”. Et vous?
I’m not sure that even made sense.
@craigthomler Nah, when I emerge it isn’t so much “Groundhog Day” as “National Lampoon European Vacation”, except not as funny.
Emerges.
[exit]
Home.
Mae Khong krub.
@cait Mr Kyle Sandilands has indeed already been nominated at a potential “Cnut of the Week”. http://tr.im/uIhc But voting can be weird.
@Tarale Ah, one nominates someone for “Cnut of the Week” at http://tr.im/uI62 by 8pm Sydney time.
@Zombie_Plan I do understand your nomination for “Cnut of the Week”. http://tr.im/uI5f Sadly, ain’t my usual workflow. “Rehearsals”? WTF?
@Jinjirrie I think “Cnut of the Week” can cope with nominations that aren’t spelled right. ;)
@mpesce That photo http://tr.im/uI1k is ALMOST the 1960s, except for the “1080-50i” tag in the corner. ;) #mslive
New blog post (with photo): ‘“Stilgherrian Live” rehearsals have gone well’ http://tr.im/uHIr
Nominations for “Cnut of the Week” will close at 8pm Sydney time, I’ve decided. http://tr.im/uHBe There is a prize.
And now I am loose in Paddington.
RT @ApostrophePong: @stilgherrian live on #mslive: http://twitpic.com/c3x6w [See, this is what proper TV looks like.]
Rehearsals for the “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special Edition” went well. I have SEKRIT behind-the-scenes footage.
I think it’s required by law that all TV directors have totally politically unsound senses of humour. Including this one.
@mtats I think “foley” is non-live. This is just “sound effects”. And insane.
This is new… both anchoring the program and doing sound effects.
@GreenJ I shall phone you as soon as we get the next break in rehearsal.
@GreenJ I am here in the Metro Screen studio, as rehearsals come together. In what way am I required?
I’m sitting in front of camera 1 with an autocue and something… what’s THAT? A “script”? Goodness. This IS professional!
@ValerioVeo I’ve heard the Malaysian place in Hunter St is good, but I’m in Paddington.
$16.90 for seafood laksa? FFS, it better have live lobsters singing the hits of Burt Bacharach!
Packing for Metro Screen rehearsals: Garden gnome, cocktail shaker, video camera… what else will I need?
I just got ANOTHER phone call. One of the @BaldBrothers. “Yeah, I’m just calling to see if your phone’s stopped ringing yet.” Cnut.
I’m checking out new ICT R&D at NICTA’s Techfest 2009 in Sydney, 12 Aug. http://tr.im/uG0L Anyone wanna join me?
I might have gotten something written this morning if the phone had stopped ringing. Sigh.
@shermozle Excellent. By that logic, we should block access to “mother”, because that’s a popular tattoo theme too. Sheesh!
RT @shermozle: A friend who is a primary school teacher reported that sites about dragons are blocked because they’re a common tattoo theme.
“[NSW] Internet filter blocks education sites, but not porn” http://tr.im/uFRa Yes, filters have error rates. Told you so. HT @wraptinweb.
Meanwhile Triple J continues its “Where have you been naked?” phone-in. Taxpayers’ money at work, people! Revel in it!
There’s a comment on Crikey http://tr.im/uxh7 which says Dept of Community Services wants to speak with the mother.
Mind you, Triple J presenters now talking about swimming naked at Byron Bay after Splendour in the Grass ain’t much of a moral high ground.
@BaneAu I’ve NOT listened to the audio. I kinda don’t want to. But yes, a mother putting her daughter into that situation is unspeakable.
@gabfran Hah! Beating @australian isn’t hard. The 2Day FM story is leading the news on Triple J this afternoon too. Schadenfreude FTW!
RT @SoniaLastrega: Myer, Sanitarium, Vodafone and Fosters all seem to be proud 2DayFM advertisers. Guess they should expect some mail.
@SnarkyPlatypus I dunno. Once you imagine that lie-detector interrogations are “fun” and “entertainment”, you’ve lost your ethical compass.
@bjkraal Actually. ABC 702 Sydney has a BIGGER audience overall than 2Day FM. http://tr.im/ux1J
There IS Oscar Wilde’s point in there about people talking about you, true. Even so.
RT @bjkraal: The problem, of course, is that 2Day wants you to hate them. If they were uncontroversial they’d rate like ABC Local Radio.
Mind you, if a flash mob DID want to demand the sacking of 2Day FM’s team, they’re in World Square. http://tr.im/uwVV
RT @viveka: Why not a “rape Sandilands” game? Oh, I know why not. OK then. [There goes my lunch.]
To cheer everyone up, William Shatner reads Sarah Palin’s resignation speech as a Beat poem. No, really. http://tr.im/uwT0
RT @Emesel: Flash developers? Can’t we just organise a FLASH MOB and do it for real? [I’d never say that. Incitement is a crime. Alas.]
@SnarkyPlatypus Exactly. It goes beyond the stupidity of commercial radio. It goes to the very core of being a member of the human race.
If there’s any Flash developers with an hour free, build a “kick Sandilands in the head” game. Stick ads on it. You’ll make a fortune today.
So who actually advertises on 2Day FM, that they want to promote their business in the context of interrogating children as “entertainment”?
RT @Colgo: Kyle Sandilands post includes link to audio of the incident. http://bit.ly/v0KdV [We can all enjoy the torture now.]
@barrysaunders Yes, it would’ve been hell to “deal with” in a live studio. But they decided to interrogate a child as “entertainment”.
@kcarruthers @gabfran Crikey wrote about Kyle & Jackie O’s lie detector upfuckage too. http://tr.im/uwKR
Oh, I do SO like the concept of the “Judy Garland Trail MIx”! http://tr.im/uwDD
Missed this one originally: “Humans prefer cockiness to expertise” http://tr.im/uwzf Explains a bit about social media “expertise”.
Mobile. Enmore Rd / King St / lunch / possible errands etc.
Also, nominations for “Cnut of the Week” are already open http://tr.im/uuSf ‘cos it’s a special “Stilgherrian Live” this Friday afternoon.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Maybe Chris Brown’s record company (Universal?) is behind the whole thing… [Oh, an even better conspiracy theory!]
@babycakesjase Well if Thursday becomes recreation instead of work, I shall consult your schedule. :)
@babycakesjase The “thingie” in Canberra? Is that something you get from Fyshwick?
That “viral” [by which they mean “popular”] wedding video pushed Chris Brown iTunes sales into Top 10: http://tr.im/uwhg HT @eunmac.
I have next Thursday 6 August free in Canberra, too, should anyone want my time. Open to suggestions. Rate card on request. Outcalls extra.
Next Wednesday I’ll be speaking at the Walkley Public Affairs conference in Canberra. http://tr.im/uweQ #toto
RT @mumbrella: Ten types of people to unfollow on Twitter http://bit.ly/QpIC3 [Yes, 100% agreed, Sir!]
@mpesce If that music’s in your head, you need to video to go with it. http://tr.im/uw1S
@stephenconroy Ah, Minister! You should already understand that you don’t need to READ something to be an EXPERT on it!
@barrysaunders [smirks] Oh too true! “Thought Leadership” = Twitter and a subscription to TechCrunch. Well played, Sir!
@mpesce This is not a Brazil-esque joke. Download the PDF. http://tr.im/uvTX Page 7.
There’s a recipe for spontaneity! Also ‘Thought leadership (or “link bloggingâ€)’. [smirks] So “thought leadership” is a Delicious account?
“All other tweets will be cleared by staff at Information Officer grade and above… consulting relevant colleagues… as necessary.”
UK govt’s template for a Twitter strategy for government departments. http://tr.im/uvQh Hat-tip @mediahunter.
@ApostrophePong I know OF the Tricaster http://tr.im/uvOk but have never used one. Plan on getting me one for Christmas?
“An Easy Way to Increase Creativity: Why thinking about distant things can make us more creative” http://tr.im/uvrM
@Skigod Nope, you wouldn’t have seen me in Liverpool St today. I haven’t left the house yet.
BBC World podcast: High-speed Internet comes to East Africa. What will it mean? MP3 9 mins. http://tr.im/uvn1 Hat-tip @KatieTT. #toto
@chieftech There’ll always be content gathered into pre-trustworthy’d brands, but the forms and scale may change dramatically.
@chieftech Well, I don’t have a Crikey “column”, I pitch stories individually, or they get commissioned… but…
@chieftech Anderson has points later (nothing new, just the themes which ended up in his book), but he began with wankery for shock value.
@chieftech The wankery is choosing not to use the meaningful words people have for what he’s discussing, but then not providing others.
@SnarkyPlatypus Cet après-midi, nous avons les répétitions de “Stilgherrian Live” à Metro Screen.
@wraptinweb Re that article, Anderson’s being a wanker. “I don’t use words ‘journalism’ or ‘media’ or ‘news’, there are no new words’.” Bah!
“Who needs newspapers when you have Twitter?” Salon interviews Wired’s Chris Anderson. http://tr.im/uEQf Hat-tip @wraptinweb.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Aujourd’hui sera… intéressant. Et vous?
RT @BernardKeane: Apparently there’s a glut of sauvignon blanc. Which is bad news for the makers of drain cleaner.
Emerges. Nearly.
I’m going to abandon you all now. Just tickle my tummy and call me Kyle. [exit]
That special William Shatner edition of “Stilgherrian Live” is at http://tr.im/uzo3, should anyone care.
@einspruch There’s a reason there’s an entire episode of “Stilgherrian Live” dedicated to William Shatner. ;)
@einspruch Oh yes, I had previously mentioned Mr William Shatner reading Ms Palin’s words. http://adjix.com/ivb7 It’s rather sweet.
@SnarkyPlatypus With a bottle of #greygoose, one can gain the Original Insights of Teh Antony. Just try and stop him!
Yes, Artemis, it’s a basket of freshly washed and dried clothes. I assume that’s why you’re taking control of it for sleeping purposes?
@SnarkyPlatypus I’ve just escaped Antony Green, gaining a detailed knowledge of voting patterns in rural Queensland.
Kyle Sandilands’ version of today’s “episode” is now live at The Punch. http://tr.im/uyBo
Last time he was carrying a single light bulb. This time, two litres of milk.
Uhoh. Antony Green has found me. This could go… in any direction.
@SnarkyPlatypus I know what my ideal working environment is, but I’m not saying.
@yin_yin Maybe your computer should be called “ranga” rather than “ranka”. Maybe that’s just me.
@marclehmann Heh. All is OK. I may manage a program Thursday night anyway. But Friday arvo is the key one for Cnutly nominations.
@marclehmann I may still try to do something Thursday night at 9.30pm, but I’m still juggling schedules.
@marclehmann Erm, no. “Stilgherrian LIve” is NOT tonight. It’s only Wednesday. But, the program is Friday 2pm this week. http://tr.im/uyd5
@TunaCrust Well, the “Cnut” may be obvious TODAY, but by the time the program airs 2pm Friday, anything could happen.
Is this a good time to remind people that nominations are open for “Cnut of the Week”? http://tr.im/uuSf
RT @ApostrophePong: Visualise #fistingkyle.
@mpesce Does #newinventors have any sort of lie detector technology on tonight? It’s all the rage, apparently. And I DO mean “rage”. ;)
@stilgherrian @mariekehardy Oh absolutely! EVERYONE involved should be shredded. But don’t JUST blame the presenters.
@ApostrophePong I mean NOT wish to see. NOT. NOT. NOT.
@ApostrophePong Please. No. The hashtag #fistingjackie is something we seriously do now wish to see. Unless…
@ApostrophePong The hashtags I’ve seen is #sandilandsisadouche, which is fair enough but misses the point.
@SMinney Hey, I’m no innocent here! A couple of my recent Crikey pieces have been pure trolling.
@ADevenish @mpesce Twitterfone also does speech-to-text. Well, speech-to-tweets. http://tr.im/uxVO
@docbaty Huh? Michael Jackson’s dead? How? When?
I mean, FFS! I’ve just resorted to trolling the Crikey comment stream. I’d troll The Punch’s too, but they’re self-trolling. ;)
I’m over criticising 2Day FM. It’s been hours. I need a new populist meme to talk about so I still seem connected. Any suggestions?
@NereadersDigest You’re right, not blaming presenters is Nuremberg Defence. Yet 2Day FM will just hire new muppets if we blame the muppets.
@feebsquared @mariekehardy No, don’t blame Kyle and Jackie O, they’re just the monkeys. Blame the producer and management.
@ApostrophePong I will bring both collared shirt and good t-shirts to the rehearsals and the producer can pick. #mslive
Why I like blogs #837: @Pollytics and Antony Green argue how changing the voting age to 16 would change things. http://tr.im/uxGA
@ApostrophePong Oh hello! I know not to wear stripes on TV! I’ve arranged for my wear-on-TV shirt to be cleaned and pressed. #mslive
@kcarruthers @rod3000 Yeah, Michael Carr-Gregg is certainly “ubiquitous”. LIke herpes.
@Matt_Tulk I don’t listen to radio or watch broadcast TV full stop. Linear media FTL.
@rod3000 Oh, Michael Carr-Gregg has an opinion. Well, he can sniff a PR opportunity from 2000 paces. http://tr.im/uxxI
@ApostrophePong For Friday’s program, do I have to wear clothes?
@Tsagadai Oh I have nothing against naked people. But is this the best our national broadcaster can do?
I see the Daily Telegraph, as ever, isn’t pre-judging the 2Day FM dtory and lets us decide for ourselves how to emote. http://tr.im/uxss
@thewetmale Fear not, I can tell the difference between a lame conversation about swimming naked and the deliberate harrassment of a child.
@Alex_Manchester If it IS malaria, it means the gut-chewing anti-malarial drugs failed to work. I won’t be impressed if that’s the case.
Wondering why, after three weeks, there’s still so much fatigue in my body and brain.
@thomasrdotorg Why even take nominations for “Cnut”? Because the whole point of life is adhering to repetitive pointless rituals.
@ApostrophePong OK, I might therefore close “Cnut of the Week” nominations at midnight, but will confirm that at lunchtime. #mslive
@maxcelcat By your logic, a hen house is a venue for chickens, therefore a hen house is a chicken? I think not.
@maxcelcat “Twitter inane”? No, it’s not the medium which is inane, but the people. Or their actions.
Nominations are still open for “Cnut of the Week”. http://tr.im/uFay Not sure when I’ll close it off, so get in to be prize-eligible.
Thu plan: AM writing & record for “A Series of Tubes”; PM rehearsals “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special”; semi-normal edition later?
@websinthe I think what you need at QUT is @PeterBlackQUT in more provocative costumes.
@trib Oh yes, “smartarse” is a high-risk strategy. This I know first-hand. ;)
@chieftech The internal combustion engine may have “destroyed” the horsehoe and wagon industries, but it didn’t kill “transport”.
Here’s a finely-crafted gizmo designed to extract $399 from the gullible. Well done. http://tr.im/unL3
@ParisSite @arcwhite @wolfcat @SnootyPaws @umi0edgar Your advice and support re “Hey Hey It’s Saturday” is encouraging. Thank you.
I have friends who are labelling themselves as fans of “Hey Hey It’s Saturday”? I feel sick.
@BrendanB What is a “sprinkler incident”? Is there a diagram somewhere? Photographs? Instructions?
University of Sydney lets election analyst Antony Green talk to graduating students. http://tr.im/uns6
What’s particularly classy about the woman squatting to take a piss in the car park is that she’s still hugging her boyfriend.
“The Mind Of A US Army Sniper” http://tr.im/un94 Not an easy read, but an important read.
@SnarkyPlatypus Oh, the link disappeared. I meant to suggest THIS for your eavesdroppings. http://tr.im/umZP
@andrewdotnich @willhughes @ADevenish @JonoH I can see all of your tweets to me and I hate you all.
@SnarkyPlatypus Re your need for better eavesdropping capability, may I suggest …?
Sirens.
RT @lexiphanic: #networx Everybody you meet has the potential to be fascinating and engaging. [But mostly they won’t be.]
A “het-tip” is not a hat-tip. A het-tip is something entirely different. Just make sure you’re clear about this.
@bob_bain The only Flash/ActionScript on that page http://tr.im/umnW is SlideShare embed. [shrugs] Beats me why it doesn’t work for you.
The answer to my question http://tr.im/umdM was, on that occasion, 24 seconds. That’s a het-tip, @MetroScreen and @viocorp!
Seeing how long it takes for this tweet to show up on the @MetroScreen Twitter feed at @viocorp’s streaming site http://tr.im/umdb
@middleclassgirl I believe this is the cheese and pineapple hedgehog you’re thinking of. http://tr.im/ulT2
@MetroScreen I wonder what you’ve let yourself in for, really, letting “Stilgherrian Live” happen in your studios!
There really will be a “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special Edition” this Friday afternoon. Yes, afternoon. With a game show.
Playing with fire.