Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

July 2009

Kyle Sandilands should use Slandr. They’re running ads for a mobile lie detector.

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The autocab has been summoned. I shall soon be en route to Paddington, specifally Metro Screen, for… something.

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@vampSaam Glad you enjoy our little early-morning French waffles. As it were.

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@wolfcat Horses have SMS now? Really? Lucky things, they can hear from Shane Warne!

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@jeffjarvis Ah, a hypothetical! Truly dunno how I’d answer that. Offer me some money to write a book and I’ll see if I accept! ;)

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Tweeting, Cricket Australia style: “We get the Twitter from Phillip and I feed them into our IT guy.” http://tr.im/uZxI

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@Nickhodge Mind you, I spent all yesterday in a TV studio. http://tr.im/uZlF Streamed, not broadcast, but still…

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So why are “new media” (my descriptor) experts like @jeffjarvis and @chr1sa so keen to sell their… books?

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Reading about Tony Abbott. http://tr.im/uZf6 While in bed. Something is wrong with me.

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Emerges. Disappointed that @unsungsongs was quasi-disappointed with my efforts at panda fantasy.

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I think I’d better go now. [exit]

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[unrelated question] How do you milk a panda, anyway?

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@unsungsongs Also, if you Google for “panda fantasy” with safe search turned off… well… you’ve been warned, that’s all I’ll say.

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@unsungsongs I often picture you with herds of pandas roaming the vast plains of central Asia. You usually wear spurs in those images.

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@unsungsongs A pony. I think you should be a pony when you grown up. Or maybe a unicorn. If you’re up for it.

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@mattvaughan Oddly enough, the only time I’ve had to deal with a speed-psychosis’d nutter with a knife, it was in Paddington, not Newtown.

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Wondering why my face feels so weird, and realising it’s ‘cos I haven’t removed the TV makeup from this afternoon. Gawd.

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Two morph videos to enjoy and play spot-the-face: Men in Film http://tr.im/uTNI and Women in Film http://tr.im/uTNU Hat-tip Narelle.

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@seancarmody Look, jugs of cocktails is a totally wrong concept anyway, so does it come down to alcohol/$?

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In respose to responses , yes, we’re returning to the real world of Newtown now. Like NOW. ETA 10 mins.

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In Paddington the jugs of cocktails are $20. In Newtown, $10. Discuss.

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“Snorting meth off a Bowie knife” WTF?

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Why the fuck do the emotionally screwed-up weirdos always choose ME to talk to?

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For those who’ve asked, that “Stilgherrian Live” special edition will go online… somewhere… at some time… I’ll let you know.

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Thank you all. That was fun. We’re striking the studio now, will pay more attention to everything once that’s done.

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Tweeting from the presenter’s desk is a bit weird.

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@fictillius The tweets would come into CoveritLive thru Twitter Search, which seems to be lagged today.

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Yeah I’d filter out @grum if I were directing too. ;)

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@grum This is primarily a training exercise for the Metro Screen folks, not a permanent change. ;)

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Thank you to too many people who seemed to know that it’s “Something is wrong with my baby” http://is.gd/1Vpfw

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Dear Twitterverse, have Jimmy (“Barnesy”) Barnes and John (“Farnsey”) Farnham ever sung together?

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Looking at the rundown, this is actually a 90-minute program, and the hashtag is (for “Metro Screen LIve).

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“Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special” is at 2pm AEST, explanation at http://tr.im/uOuE and stream at http://tr.im/uP7r

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Less than an hour to air time. My makeup is done. They’re doing a run-through of a bizarre quiz/contest segment.

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This is a lame-arsed test to see whether I’m correctly tracking the hashtag.

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Two hours until showtime. Crew finalising camera set-ups and lighting for the game show.

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@barrysaunders There is nothiing dubious about Thai whisky. Nothing. Also, we were not rowdy.

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@mpesce Your comment that this photo http://tr.im/uPip looks like the 1960s has inspired one of my rants for “Stilgherrian Live”.

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Reminder: “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special” 2pm SYD time. Explanation at http://tr.im/uOuE and stream at http://tr.im/uP7r

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Fri plan (early!): Prep graphics; quick Crikey article; “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special” 2pm SYD time http://tr.im/uOuE; TGIF.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Il est nécessaire pour moi de vous étrangler, puis marcher lourdement sur votre corps avec de lourdes bottes.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Il ya une certaine qualité de la matinée, ce qui peut être classé comme “inquiétante”. Et vous?

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I’m not sure that even made sense.

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@craigthomler Nah, when I emerge it isn’t so much “Groundhog Day” as “National Lampoon European Vacation”, except not as funny.

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@cait Mr Kyle Sandilands has indeed already been nominated at a potential “Cnut of the Week”. http://tr.im/uIhc But voting can be weird.

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@Tarale Ah, one nominates someone for “Cnut of the Week” at http://tr.im/uI62 by 8pm Sydney time.

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@Zombie_Plan I do understand your nomination for “Cnut of the Week”. http://tr.im/uI5f Sadly, ain’t my usual workflow. “Rehearsals”? WTF?

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@Jinjirrie I think “Cnut of the Week” can cope with nominations that aren’t spelled right. ;)

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@mpesce That photo http://tr.im/uI1k is ALMOST the 1960s, except for the “1080-50i” tag in the corner. ;)

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New blog post (with photo): ‘“Stilgherrian Live” rehearsals have gone well’ http://tr.im/uHIr

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Nominations for “Cnut of the Week” will close at 8pm Sydney time, I’ve decided. http://tr.im/uHBe There is a prize.

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And now I am loose in Paddington.

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RT @ApostrophePong: @stilgherrian live on : http://twitpic.com/c3x6w [See, this is what proper TV looks like.]

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Rehearsals for the “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special Edition” went well. I have SEKRIT behind-the-scenes footage.

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I think it’s required by law that all TV directors have totally politically unsound senses of humour. Including this one.

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@mtats I think “foley” is non-live. This is just “sound effects”. And insane.

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This is new… both anchoring the program and doing sound effects.

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@GreenJ I shall phone you as soon as we get the next break in rehearsal.

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@GreenJ I am here in the Metro Screen studio, as rehearsals come together. In what way am I required?

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I’m sitting in front of camera 1 with an autocue and something… what’s THAT? A “script”? Goodness. This IS professional!

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@ValerioVeo I’ve heard the Malaysian place in Hunter St is good, but I’m in Paddington.

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$16.90 for seafood laksa? FFS, it better have live lobsters singing the hits of Burt Bacharach!

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Packing for Metro Screen rehearsals: Garden gnome, cocktail shaker, video camera… what else will I need?

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I just got ANOTHER phone call. One of the @BaldBrothers. “Yeah, I’m just calling to see if your phone’s stopped ringing yet.” Cnut.

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I’m checking out new ICT R&D at NICTA’s Techfest 2009 in Sydney, 12 Aug. http://tr.im/uG0L Anyone wanna join me?

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I might have gotten something written this morning if the phone had stopped ringing. Sigh.

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@shermozle Excellent. By that logic, we should block access to “mother”, because that’s a popular tattoo theme too. Sheesh!

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RT @shermozle: A friend who is a primary school teacher reported that sites about dragons are blocked because they’re a common tattoo theme.

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“[NSW] Internet filter blocks education sites, but not porn” http://tr.im/uFRa Yes, filters have error rates. Told you so. HT @wraptinweb.

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Meanwhile Triple J continues its “Where have you been naked?” phone-in. Taxpayers’ money at work, people! Revel in it!

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There’s a comment on Crikey http://tr.im/uxh7 which says Dept of Community Services wants to speak with the mother.

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Mind you, Triple J presenters now talking about swimming naked at Byron Bay after Splendour in the Grass ain’t much of a moral high ground.

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@BaneAu I’ve NOT listened to the audio. I kinda don’t want to. But yes, a mother putting her daughter into that situation is unspeakable.

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@gabfran Hah! Beating @australian isn’t hard. The 2Day FM story is leading the news on Triple J this afternoon too. Schadenfreude FTW!

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RT @SoniaLastrega: Myer, Sanitarium, Vodafone and Fosters all seem to be proud 2DayFM advertisers. Guess they should expect some mail.

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@SnarkyPlatypus I dunno. Once you imagine that lie-detector interrogations are “fun” and “entertainment”, you’ve lost your ethical compass.

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@bjkraal Actually. ABC 702 Sydney has a BIGGER audience overall than 2Day FM. http://tr.im/ux1J

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There IS Oscar Wilde’s point in there about people talking about you, true. Even so.

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RT @bjkraal: The problem, of course, is that 2Day wants you to hate them. If they were uncontroversial they’d rate like ABC Local Radio.

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Mind you, if a flash mob DID want to demand the sacking of 2Day FM’s team, they’re in World Square. http://tr.im/uwVV

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RT @viveka: Why not a “rape Sandilands” game? Oh, I know why not. OK then. [There goes my lunch.]

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To cheer everyone up, William Shatner reads Sarah Palin’s resignation speech as a Beat poem. No, really. http://tr.im/uwT0

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RT @Emesel: Flash developers? Can’t we just organise a FLASH MOB and do it for real? [I’d never say that. Incitement is a crime. Alas.]

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@SnarkyPlatypus Exactly. It goes beyond the stupidity of commercial radio. It goes to the very core of being a member of the human race.

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If there’s any Flash developers with an hour free, build a “kick Sandilands in the head” game. Stick ads on it. You’ll make a fortune today.

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So who actually advertises on 2Day FM, that they want to promote their business in the context of interrogating children as “entertainment”?

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RT @Colgo: Kyle Sandilands post includes link to audio of the incident. http://bit.ly/v0KdV [We can all enjoy the torture now.]

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@barrysaunders Yes, it would’ve been hell to “deal with” in a live studio. But they decided to interrogate a child as “entertainment”.

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@kcarruthers @gabfran Crikey wrote about Kyle & Jackie O’s lie detector upfuckage too. http://tr.im/uwKR

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Oh, I do SO like the concept of the “Judy Garland Trail MIx”! http://tr.im/uwDD

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Missed this one originally: “Humans prefer cockiness to expertise” http://tr.im/uwzf Explains a bit about social media “expertise”.

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Mobile. Enmore Rd / King St / lunch / possible errands etc.

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Also, nominations for “Cnut of the Week” are already open http://tr.im/uuSf ‘cos it’s a special “Stilgherrian Live” this Friday afternoon.

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Maybe Chris Brown’s record company (Universal?) is behind the whole thing… [Oh, an even better conspiracy theory!]

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@babycakesjase Well if Thursday becomes recreation instead of work, I shall consult your schedule. :)

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@babycakesjase The “thingie” in Canberra? Is that something you get from Fyshwick?

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That “viral” [by which they mean “popular”] wedding video pushed Chris Brown iTunes sales into Top 10: http://tr.im/uwhg HT @eunmac.

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I have next Thursday 6 August free in Canberra, too, should anyone want my time. Open to suggestions. Rate card on request. Outcalls extra.

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Next Wednesday I’ll be speaking at the Walkley Public Affairs conference in Canberra. http://tr.im/uweQ

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RT @mumbrella: Ten types of people to unfollow on Twitter http://bit.ly/QpIC3 [Yes, 100% agreed, Sir!]

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@mpesce If that music’s in your head, you need to video to go with it. http://tr.im/uw1S

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@stephenconroy Ah, Minister! You should already understand that you don’t need to READ something to be an EXPERT on it!

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@barrysaunders [smirks] Oh too true! “Thought Leadership” = Twitter and a subscription to TechCrunch. Well played, Sir!

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@mpesce This is not a Brazil-esque joke. Download the PDF. http://tr.im/uvTX Page 7.

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There’s a recipe for spontaneity! Also ‘Thought leadership (or “link blogging”)’. [smirks] So “thought leadership” is a Delicious account?

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“All other tweets will be cleared by staff at Information Officer grade and above… consulting relevant colleagues… as necessary.”

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UK govt’s template for a Twitter strategy for government departments. http://tr.im/uvQh Hat-tip @mediahunter.

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@ApostrophePong I know OF the Tricaster http://tr.im/uvOk but have never used one. Plan on getting me one for Christmas?

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“An Easy Way to Increase Creativity: Why thinking about distant things can make us more creative” http://tr.im/uvrM

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@Skigod Nope, you wouldn’t have seen me in Liverpool St today. I haven’t left the house yet.

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BBC World podcast: High-speed Internet comes to East Africa. What will it mean? MP3 9 mins. http://tr.im/uvn1 Hat-tip @KatieTT.

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@chieftech There’ll always be content gathered into pre-trustworthy’d brands, but the forms and scale may change dramatically.

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@chieftech Well, I don’t have a Crikey “column”, I pitch stories individually, or they get commissioned… but…

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@chieftech Anderson has points later (nothing new, just the themes which ended up in his book), but he began with wankery for shock value.

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@chieftech The wankery is choosing not to use the meaningful words people have for what he’s discussing, but then not providing others.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Cet après-midi, nous avons les répétitions de “Stilgherrian Live” à Metro Screen.

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@wraptinweb Re that article, Anderson’s being a wanker. “I don’t use words ‘journalism’ or ‘media’ or ‘news’, there are no new words’.” Bah!

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“Who needs newspapers when you have Twitter?” Salon interviews Wired’s Chris Anderson. http://tr.im/uEQf Hat-tip @wraptinweb.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Aujourd’hui sera… intéressant. Et vous?

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RT @BernardKeane: Apparently there’s a glut of sauvignon blanc. Which is bad news for the makers of drain cleaner.

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I’m going to abandon you all now. Just tickle my tummy and call me Kyle. [exit]

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That special William Shatner edition of “Stilgherrian Live” is at http://tr.im/uzo3, should anyone care.

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@einspruch There’s a reason there’s an entire episode of “Stilgherrian Live” dedicated to William Shatner. ;)

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@einspruch Oh yes, I had previously mentioned Mr William Shatner reading Ms Palin’s words. http://adjix.com/ivb7 It’s rather sweet.

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@SnarkyPlatypus With a bottle of , one can gain the Original Insights of Teh Antony. Just try and stop him!

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Yes, Artemis, it’s a basket of freshly washed and dried clothes. I assume that’s why you’re taking control of it for sleeping purposes?

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@SnarkyPlatypus I’ve just escaped Antony Green, gaining a detailed knowledge of voting patterns in rural Queensland.

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Kyle Sandilands’ version of today’s “episode” is now live at The Punch. http://tr.im/uyBo

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Last time he was carrying a single light bulb. This time, two litres of milk.

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Uhoh. Antony Green has found me. This could go… in any direction.

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@SnarkyPlatypus I know what my ideal working environment is, but I’m not saying.

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@yin_yin Maybe your computer should be called “ranga” rather than “ranka”. Maybe that’s just me.

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@marclehmann Heh. All is OK. I may manage a program Thursday night anyway. But Friday arvo is the key one for Cnutly nominations.

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@marclehmann I may still try to do something Thursday night at 9.30pm, but I’m still juggling schedules.

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@marclehmann Erm, no. “Stilgherrian LIve” is NOT tonight. It’s only Wednesday. But, the program is Friday 2pm this week. http://tr.im/uyd5

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@TunaCrust Well, the “Cnut” may be obvious TODAY, but by the time the program airs 2pm Friday, anything could happen.

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Is this a good time to remind people that nominations are open for “Cnut of the Week”? http://tr.im/uuSf

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@mpesce Does have any sort of lie detector technology on tonight? It’s all the rage, apparently. And I DO mean “rage”. ;)

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@stilgherrian @mariekehardy Oh absolutely! EVERYONE involved should be shredded. But don’t JUST blame the presenters.

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@ApostrophePong Please. No. The hashtag is something we seriously do now wish to see. Unless…

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@ApostrophePong The hashtags I’ve seen is , which is fair enough but misses the point.

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@SMinney Hey, I’m no innocent here! A couple of my recent Crikey pieces have been pure trolling.

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@ADevenish @mpesce Twitterfone also does speech-to-text. Well, speech-to-tweets. http://tr.im/uxVO

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@docbaty Huh? Michael Jackson’s dead? How? When?

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I mean, FFS! I’ve just resorted to trolling the Crikey comment stream. I’d troll The Punch’s too, but they’re self-trolling. ;)

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I’m over criticising 2Day FM. It’s been hours. I need a new populist meme to talk about so I still seem connected. Any suggestions?

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@NereadersDigest You’re right, not blaming presenters is Nuremberg Defence. Yet 2Day FM will just hire new muppets if we blame the muppets.

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@feebsquared @mariekehardy No, don’t blame Kyle and Jackie O, they’re just the monkeys. Blame the producer and management.

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@ApostrophePong I will bring both collared shirt and good t-shirts to the rehearsals and the producer can pick.

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Why I like blogs #837: @Pollytics and Antony Green argue how changing the voting age to 16 would change things. http://tr.im/uxGA

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@ApostrophePong Oh hello! I know not to wear stripes on TV! I’ve arranged for my wear-on-TV shirt to be cleaned and pressed.

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@kcarruthers @rod3000 Yeah, Michael Carr-Gregg is certainly “ubiquitous”. LIke herpes.

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@Matt_Tulk I don’t listen to radio or watch broadcast TV full stop. Linear media FTL.

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@rod3000 Oh, Michael Carr-Gregg has an opinion. Well, he can sniff a PR opportunity from 2000 paces. http://tr.im/uxxI

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@ApostrophePong For Friday’s program, do I have to wear clothes?

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@Tsagadai Oh I have nothing against naked people. But is this the best our national broadcaster can do?

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I see the Daily Telegraph, as ever, isn’t pre-judging the 2Day FM dtory and lets us decide for ourselves how to emote. http://tr.im/uxss

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@thewetmale Fear not, I can tell the difference between a lame conversation about swimming naked and the deliberate harrassment of a child.

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@Alex_Manchester If it IS malaria, it means the gut-chewing anti-malarial drugs failed to work. I won’t be impressed if that’s the case.

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Wondering why, after three weeks, there’s still so much fatigue in my body and brain.

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@thomasrdotorg Why even take nominations for “Cnut”? Because the whole point of life is adhering to repetitive pointless rituals.

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@ApostrophePong OK, I might therefore close “Cnut of the Week” nominations at midnight, but will confirm that at lunchtime.

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@maxcelcat By your logic, a hen house is a venue for chickens, therefore a hen house is a chicken? I think not.

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@maxcelcat “Twitter inane”? No, it’s not the medium which is inane, but the people. Or their actions.

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Nominations are still open for “Cnut of the Week”. http://tr.im/uFay Not sure when I’ll close it off, so get in to be prize-eligible.

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Thu plan: AM writing & record for “A Series of Tubes”; PM rehearsals “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special”; semi-normal edition later?

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@websinthe I think what you need at QUT is @PeterBlackQUT in more provocative costumes.

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@trib Oh yes, “smartarse” is a high-risk strategy. This I know first-hand. ;)

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@chieftech The internal combustion engine may have “destroyed” the horsehoe and wagon industries, but it didn’t kill “transport”.

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Here’s a finely-crafted gizmo designed to extract $399 from the gullible. Well done. http://tr.im/unL3

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@ParisSite @arcwhite @wolfcat @SnootyPaws @umi0edgar Your advice and support re “Hey Hey It’s Saturday” is encouraging. Thank you.

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I have friends who are labelling themselves as fans of “Hey Hey It’s Saturday”? I feel sick.

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@BrendanB What is a “sprinkler incident”? Is there a diagram somewhere? Photographs? Instructions?

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University of Sydney lets election analyst Antony Green talk to graduating students. http://tr.im/uns6

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What’s particularly classy about the woman squatting to take a piss in the car park is that she’s still hugging her boyfriend.

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“The Mind Of A US Army Sniper” http://tr.im/un94 Not an easy read, but an important read.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Oh, the link disappeared. I meant to suggest THIS for your eavesdroppings. http://tr.im/umZP

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@andrewdotnich @willhughes @ADevenish @JonoH I can see all of your tweets to me and I hate you all.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Re your need for better eavesdropping capability, may I suggest …?

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RT @lexiphanic: Everybody you meet has the potential to be fascinating and engaging. [But mostly they won’t be.]

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A “het-tip” is not a hat-tip. A het-tip is something entirely different. Just make sure you’re clear about this.

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@bob_bain The only Flash/ActionScript on that page http://tr.im/umnW is SlideShare embed. [shrugs] Beats me why it doesn’t work for you.

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The answer to my question http://tr.im/umdM was, on that occasion, 24 seconds. That’s a het-tip, @MetroScreen and @viocorp!

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Seeing how long it takes for this tweet to show up on the @MetroScreen Twitter feed at @viocorp’s streaming site http://tr.im/umdb

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@middleclassgirl I believe this is the cheese and pineapple hedgehog you’re thinking of. http://tr.im/ulT2

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@MetroScreen I wonder what you’ve let yourself in for, really, letting “Stilgherrian Live” happen in your studios!

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There really will be a “Stilgherrian Live (Metro Screen) Special Edition” this Friday afternoon. Yes, afternoon. With a game show.

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Playing with fire.

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