Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

In Sydney NSW AU until Mon

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

April 2010

RT @danilic Channel Nine’s Gold Logie campaign goes too far…. http://tweetphoto.com/20…

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“Alomst”? That word, that word right there, explains everything about today.

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Fri plan (late): A bunch of emails, client phone calls and podcast interviews from my desk, aiming to reduce th chaos levels; quiet evening.

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RT @Cacotopos: Remember the salient point mentioned earlier this week on the twitters: after a backflip you end up facing the same way :-/

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Why in politics is reconsidering a position or updating thoughts called a “backflip”? Isn’t being able to evolve a BONUS?

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Full Raskin doc shows how times changed. “Clearly, there should be BASIC.” “Portable, under 20 lbs.” http://bit.ly/9rlhkh

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From 1979, Jef Raskin’s thoughts on designing computers for real people. iPad, anyone? http://bit.ly/dxee5K

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Real first-person shooter vid: Dutch marines clear Somali pirates off container ship. http://bit.ly/cWv4b9

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Emerges, but insubstantially.

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Still confused, and also disgruntled.

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And I am Geoffrey Rush’s shoe. The shoe of a shoe.

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Geoffrey Rush holds mystery no longer, @jpoh. It’s like a shoe that no longer causes pain.

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Y’know @zerogeewhiz I’ve almost completely lost interest in Tropfest. I’m not sure why. Maybe the format encourages a certain style?

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Adding Geoffrey Rush isn’t automatically an improvement.

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I still haven’t decided what to do for my birthday, which is next weekend @Nickhodge @mrsnickhodge Maybe hide in the cellar with whiskey.

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Moderately confused.

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New blog post: “An important roadside warning” http://bit.ly/arRUsp

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Alas no, @iain_chalmers, I shall be in the US from 25 to 27 May. More details when I’ve confirmed it’s OK with my hosts.

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Now it’s time for my last interview for the day, then I can settle down with some reading and other warming activities and/or substances.

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$300 for a journalist to get a visa to the US, @Davidramli? I hope I get that as a freebie too. ;)

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I should point out, however, @ssharwood that I am NOT a Twitter Grammar Vigilante. No, Sir! http://bit.ly/9GnNX4

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Yes @NewtonMark I will be travelling to the US as journalist. I shall recount the process as I go. It’s a few weeks off yet tho.

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A “rockstar CIO”, @ssharwood? You mean an egomaniac attention-seeker who must always be front of stage? Was he a ninja too?

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Travelling with single name has been a non-issue so far, @jonoabroad, but then my travel hasn’t been extensive.

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It is a brief work trip to the US, @NewtonMark, though I’m not sure if I should say exactly why just yet.

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Dear Twitter Grammar Vigilantes, please sod off. http://bit.ly/9GnNX4

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Hah! Travel approved! America, you are SO fucked now!

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Disagree @NewtonMark, had clients not realise that “your internet link is down” means “email isn’t working”. Ping @nazzer

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I can confirm, @nazzer @NewtonMark, I’ve heard plenty of people ask “I’ve finished with Hotmail now, can I use the internet?”

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I know, @iain_chalmers, “reaming” is technically enlarging an existing hole. “Did Jobs goatse Lynch? (or perhaps Narayen)” Presumably so.

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‘I’m in love with my grandson and we’re having a baby’ http://bit.ly/9igqCn HT @macleanbrendan, apparently.

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RT @franksting: Does “reams Adobe a new orifice” mean Jobsy “ripped Adobe a new arsehole”? [Yes. I should have said “ripped”, in hindsight.]

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Apparently I should blame Adobe, Engels, Nick Clegg, Scott Baio or Canada. I suspect Scott Baio has a lot to answer for.

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Hmmm… I feel about 350% more crappy than I’d intended for this time of the afternoon. Who can I blame?

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Me in Crikey today: “Crikey Clarifier: Apple versus Adobe” http://bit.ly/aX3pNV

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I’ve never thought of an orgy as crowdsourcing, @Nickhodge. Currawongs are so Bird 2.0!

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Currawong orgy in progress on Sebastopol St. Noisy.

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Mobile: Enmore Rd; King St errands; back home again. A brisk walk should be a healthy bonus.

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@jonoabroad I’ll have just such a review of the style once I’ve clocked up the 20 episodes. I’d like to keep the consistency for now.

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@jonoabroad I’d hoped to get them down to 2 hours. I probably could if I spoke from bullet points not a detailed script but quality suffers.

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@jonoabroad I tend to spend quite some time farting about with the fline-grained flow of the script. And drinking.

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@jonoabroad Including inspiration, reading, scripting, recording, editing, compression, write blog post, an Edict averages 3 to 3.5 hours.

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Actually @jonoabroad if I’m suitably inspired tonight I may do an Edict. There hasn’t been one this week. Certainly plenty to whinge about.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Mais je suis paranoïaque, et je n’ai pas de fusil! Il n’ya pas de justice dans le monde!

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“Facebook Group ‘Praying’ For President Obama’s Death Passes 1 Million Members” http://huff.to/9jQtzF

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Il ya maintenant une bonne raison pour tous les Américains d’être inquiets. Très inquiet. Et vous?

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OK, I’m now in love. Seriously in love. http://bit.ly/bZOrwm HT @macleanbrendan

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Emerges, alomst. Later than intended.

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Oh look! Thursday night in Newtown. 3G connectivity? Nup. Thanks,

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Herb bread is a lesson in patience. The Buddha would have approved.

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“As seen on A Current Affair” isn’t something I’d put on MY advertising, actually.

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RT @grantshow: It would be totally irresponsible of me to go and buy a new MacBook Pro. [Not if you bought it for me.]

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Mobile: Enmore Rd; Newtown station; places of mystery and imagination.

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Thu plan, revisited: Quick snack, then travel to a SEKRIT location and walk back to get some bloody exercise. For the liver.

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“Pubs. They’re like a gym, but for the liver.” Is that what you mean, @SnarkyPlatypus?

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I make no claim to being consistent, @PointZeroOne ;)

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Oh you misunderstand, @PointZeroOne. My gripe with BrandZ Top 100 was not the concept but that it warranted an embargo.

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I can’t recall which comment you’re referring to, @PointZeroOne, but I do write about things outside my own personal care-factor areas.

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Me in Crikey: “Google’s got Groggle by the goolies, squeezing hard” http://bit.ly/9jvx2z

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DBCDE forum reveals Australia’s internet filter legislation hasn’t been drafted http://bit.ly/9VjRcM

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I agree, @deptofinternets. It’s true to say that @FakeeEtiquette has Changed My Life.

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Excellent, @gavincostello, the Irish usage of “boyo” explainified http://bit.ly/ag5fSB

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Should Eurovision be celebrated at Kelly’s on King again, @SnarkyPlatypus? It seemed a suitably rowdy environment.

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Once again I thank the State Library of NSW for free access to so many online databases from home. http://bit.ly/91fx3g

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OED @gavincostello! boyo, n.colloq. (chiefly Irish English and Welsh English). Chiefly as a form of address: a boy, a lad; a man, a fellow.

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On “boyo”, @gavincostello, the Macquarie Dictionary calls it Welsh and Irish. [shrugs] Might look up the OED.

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It seems that @elerimai is right, it IS turtle pr0n! http://bit.ly/cZd5mK

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Really, @gavincostello? Has “boyo” just fallen out of use? Or was it a Belfast thing? Or always a cliché? I’m curious now!

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Indeed @benrhughes it seems “leadership” has become “slavery to opinion polls and never offending anyone”, eh @KevinRuddPM?

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Indeed, @_Tors, can you imagine Margaret Thatcher apologising for having offended someone? Bring back Maggie, I say!

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You’re right, @SnarkyPlatypus, “Stil-ghe-licious” is even better. I can certainly do the video. http://bit.ly/4Kk6bM

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Hang on, what’s wrong with calling a bigot a bigot, exactly? http://bit.ly/cYy6KQ

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Earlier today @thetowncrier invented the word “Stil-tastic”. In hindsight, he missed a glorious opportunity with “Stilicious”.

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From 2006, an excellent feature about British double agents in Northern Ireland. Not pleasant. http://bit.ly/a3Iz2e

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@SnarkyPlatypus Vous savez, casserole licorne serait bien. Mais je peux aussi penser à autre chose à voir avec une licorne et une carotte.

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Arizona’s immigration “debate” seems to skip over a rather uncomfortable history. http://bit.ly/dBdSmM

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Mon monde est un endroit spécial, plein de lapins et de licornes. Et vous?

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@Wyane Mate, I can grammerise from arsehole to breakfast time! [Yes, “from arsehole to breakfast time” is in the Macquarie Dictionary.]

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Crikey story filed!

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RT @jasonlangenauer: I am disappointed by the apparent lack of interest in .

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RT @renailemay: LOL I am about to publish an article from @iDarryl using the word “enema” [Mate, want me to better that? Piss easy!]

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Oh @sylmobile now THAT is a suitable change for … !

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I fear that will never be as popular as http://bit.ly/17vaH7

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That is going viral at the ABC is an example of everything that is wrong with our national broadcaster, @garykemble

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Well earlier I was thinking about jelly wrestling, @jonoabroad, so ponder a @LaurieOakes and Christopher Pyne match!

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Yes @sonieee it was classic ambulance-chaser lawyer stuff. Afternoon radio has ALL the best advertising! WS-FM FTW!

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RT @LaurieOakes: Abbott says Rudd “has gutlessed out”. Abbot has grammared out. [Sorry, Laurie, stick with politics not linguistics.]

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I just heard an advert on the radio for compensation lawyers which came SO close to saying they’d always win. Classy.

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Does anyone care that “Cats” is returning to Sydney “for three weeks only”? No, me neither.

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I just thought of another good kitten joke but I’m on the wrong side of this whole argument to use it. Consistency FTL.

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Oh now @erkpod Humpr is an AWESOME app name!

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You know, there’s a little part of me which thinks that publicly berating my editors is not necessarily a strategy for success… [shrugs]

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I was dumped for WORLD CHAMPION CHESS? http://is.gd/bKS8w There’s another six fucked kittens right there!

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Did I mention that on the weekend I thought up an iPhone app like Grindr, but even moar betteror?

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We’ve a LONG way to go before is a trend, @Debichan!

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Oh. Hang on. No-one reads Twitter, do they?

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Christ, @gabewong, I don’t want my clients at my birthday party! Having half my bloody so-called friends there will be burden enough!

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“I speak not merely of that malignant tumour on the face of Australian policy debate, The Australian” http://bit.ly/beFuxS Oh @BernardKeane!

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Just so you know, @sophblack and @thetowncrier support the torture of kittens.

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Decisions decisions… Do something of value for a client? Or plan my birthday party?

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Dear North Americans, a decade+ back a local cable TV news channel did without a news set, just shot from reporters’ desks. Who was it?

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“Virgin sale”?

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Well let’s just hope, @jasonlangenauer, that enough people support

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RT @todayspolitics: Jon Stewart: Arizona is the meth lab of democracy http://bit.ly/aH3P2m HT @KteeJ

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@jasonlangenauer Where does a tapeworm grow a moustache, exactly?

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Reality does indeed suck, @Nickhodge @Yin_Izanami which is why I prefer surreality. Addictions also help, I’m told.

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Mobile: Enmore Rd; lunch; local errands, possibly as far afield as King St.

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Getting up someone’s nose, apparently. There’s a surprise.

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Is that a suggestion for this afternoon, @SnarkyPlatypus?

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Wondering whether subsequent tweets should continue further along this downhill path or not.

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Women’s minister Tanya Plibersek and her shadow Sharman Stone, you say @jamesmassola? Can my question involve jelly wrestling?

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Thanks @benbarberhays I’m not negative for the sake of it. I genuinely question the increasing artifice and gimmickry of TV news.

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Creativity, why do you elude me today? Must I continue reading disturbing feature articles instead?

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I’ve just given my opinion of the ABC News 24 set. It’s not positive. http://bit.ly/d7hB4y

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Hey @abcnews, the US Senate has its own firing squads now, eh? http://bit.ly/c116il Idiot hyperbole FTL.

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Persecution of those seeking to consume content on their own terms has a long, long history. http://bit.ly/ddOVsZ)

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Young people do more things with sexual connotations than middle-aged politicians. Who knew? http://bit.ly/cNLJTJ

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It appears that “raunch culture” originates in this book http://bit.ly/a8Emlw @chrisberg @NewtonMark Appears to be modish pop-feminism.

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Advice for everyone using Twitter: http://bit.ly/bKJjzk

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Advice for freelance writers: You get to write more stuff for money if you pitch stories more often.

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@simontsmall Crikey work varies according to, well, how often I pitch stories. Long-term average is more than weekly. http://bit.ly/fTcQ1

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Not quite emerges.

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I’m not sure this is working.

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You can’t argue with this kind of prophecy. http://bit.ly/aSSQqS HT @Nickhodge

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@megpickard WTF is a “usability theatre”? And does it hurt?

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Is Thailand Going the Way of 1936 Spain? http://bit.ly/dgavPA HT @Colvinius Ping @ApostrophePong

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Being harrassed by anonymous passive-aggressive tweets.

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It appears that is a failure, and so am I.

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I think I might have to leave the SEO conversation until the morning. The cats are far more interested in Full Moon activities.

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My batteries are failing, even the spare ones. I shall now head home and continue the cuntery from there.

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The BIG SEKRIT in this release is that if you’re a big global company and spend shitloads on advertising then people will have heard of you.

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“You have been sent this email as you have indicated an interest in receiving material on this subject.” No I didn’t.

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“Our research shows brand has become increasingly important to Australian consumers” is another amazing SEKRIT.

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“Use of social media was a key trend across many of the successful brands this year,” that’s a SEKRIT apparently.

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Exactly @renailemay @imtimhanlon! SEO is about making your website work for some idiot machine rather than your customers. Arsehats.

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I wouldn’t soil my website with this bullshit.

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RT @adavid: If you break the embargo, that means they never send you a release again. Downside is? [Precisely.]

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No @NewtonMark @PointZeroOne it’s just “World’s Most Valuable Brands”. Like who gives a fuck?

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Like the world will implode if the meejuh says “Strong brands prove their resilience to economic downturn” in the next 70 minutes.

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Giggles! Just got emailed “EMBARGOED Media Release NOT FOR PUBLICATION BEFORE 6pm AEST” and it’s just some lame corporate pimpage. Losers.

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“45 years of hits live with Glenn Shorrock at the State Theatre”? Kill me. Kill me now.

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RT @grantshow: I love fucking mouse pads! [Well each to their own, I suppose. And they’re easy to clean.]

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Well, @BradDeLuca, I’d categorise that story with “Sun rises in East”.

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RT @BradDeLuca: What about if the story went: “a spokesperson today said if you sign up to Facebook you forego the right to privacy”?

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RT @latikambourke Who is your favourite Australian politician and why? Best answer gets a Workchoices mousepad (sadly not signed by Gillard)

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RT @jasonjordan: Some mad woman keeps smsing me. Any tips on how to deal with it? ;-) [File for divorce? [ducks]]

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You know, I really can’t see any news story with “Facebook” and “privacy” in the same sentence without laughing my head off.

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Oh well played @iDarryl! “Five reasons the iPad needs to succeed in Australia” http://bit.ly/9DLyvH

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RT @garthk: Which is less toxic? My view project referring to my view model project, or vice versa? [What does this even mean?]

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I am listening to WS-FM, @zerogeewhiz, because it’s coming p0ut of a speaker nearby. And one does need to stay in touch with the proles.

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On WS-FM, Jonno and Danno spend too much time on really obvious jokes about the death of the 3.5” floppy.

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Still sneezing.

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“Grindr’s coffee”? WTF?

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Erm, not that I’m drinking. Shoosh.

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Red wine makes me sneeze.

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At this point I should probably mention that my tweets are not necessarily professional advice.

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Cocaine, @grantshow. Cocaine is the answer to all your problems. Apparently.

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I suspect this is not historically accurate http://bit.ly/c8vBjc HT @rod3000

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Oh yes, @Reemski, Dali AND a kitten!

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“Wil Anderson and Robert de Castella join Robbo and Danno”, they said. Gawd, I… can… hardly… wait… [thud]

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I’ll get back to you on who might be a good example, @simontsmall, ‘cos I have to pretend to start writing now. ;)

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Any potential editors reading my last tweet should insert the word “be” where appropriate, and be reassured that I can write grammatically.

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Yes, my previous tweet also implies that I’d happy to receive commissions from editors… ;)

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But all that said @simontsmall I’m not a good example. I’d get a LOT morre writing gigs if I pulled my finger out and pitched more.

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Well @simontsmall my own blog doesn’t pay. ;) I choose who to pitch a story to on gut feeling for likelihood for success.

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Thu plan: Morning Crikeywriting; audio edits; afternoon other writing, probably; evening gym & dinner w@SnarkyPlatypusypus, probably.

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Nope @glengyron I can’t remember the US/CA TV station that dumped news sets entirely. It was early 1990s so falls into the pre-web gap.

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I’ll add that line to my bio. Goes nicely with having written the most unworthy article Crikey has ever published” http://bit.ly/byRJax

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RT @BernardKeane: “If complaining on the internet was an Olympic sport you would get a gold medal.” Well that’s you pwned. [So true.]

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Astounded at the level of personal abuse Stanley is giving me over my ABC News 24 set design comments. http://bit.ly/9tu52T

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Well @BaneAu the best pitch is the one in the form the editor prefers. Just ask! Being sarcastic only seems to work for Crikey.

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Gosh @BaneAu for short news/comment pieces the pitch is just a few sentences outlining what you’d write. I can send, but not much use?

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I get stuck when there’s lots of responses to a tweet. Difficult to acknowledge everyone. I love you all, nonetheless. Well, nearly all.

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Tonight’s word puzzle: Changing one letter per move, and making only valid words, turn FUTURIST into FISTULAS.

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Oh, please insert the word “tomorrow” into my last tweet. Further insertion instructions to follow after the watershed.

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It’s Tech4Change Blog Day. Reasonable idea. http://bit.ly/cD2D18 But joining ANOTHER social network? http://bit.ly/ap7WfY

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The consensus seems to be that I can’t get pregnant, but I may have lost my soul. Or that I am Justin Bieber. Did I get that right?

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I touched an iPad today. Can I get pregnant?

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Emailing clients to say all complex work has been rescheduled to 2013, but monthly fees still apply. @KevinRuddPM is so inspiring!

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Hey McAfee! Slides on Live Meeting, doesn’t work in Firefox? Audio via PHONE? Wait for an operator? Your “webinar” is too hard. Dumped!

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Interview done in North Sydney. Heading to the station for the trains home.

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You know, you don’t HAVE to pay attention to the bullshit “debates” in society. http://bit.ly/96bTGe

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I wonder if Microsoft’s “entertainment” includes rent boys?

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Mobile: Stanmore station; North Sydney station; Arthur St, North Sydney (eventually).

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Oh. My pants are still at the laundry. As are my shirts. It would appear that I have a pre-errand errand to run. Mobile.

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Adobe Flash is used in “several websites”. Goodness! http://bit.ly/cs3KN5

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Crikey story filed! Whew!

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RT @rbbrown: Greatest opening line ever? “I don’t remember exactly when I felt his erection pressing into my back…” http://bit.ly/bONTIo

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@SnarkyPlatypus Je n’avais pas prévu que loin devant, mais, oui, la tequila est un ingrédient de base de notre solution finale.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Nous allons nettoyer toute trace de l’infection!

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I pity @jayrosen_nyu today. He’ll have to put this tweet on a tape loop. http://bit.ly/8XV95Z Must add my http://bit.ly/c1qg87

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