Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

August 2010

I’ve just seen the prooof. It IS possible to talk on the phone and pick your nose while driving the kids home from school.

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Mobile: Enmore Rd; lunch; potential errands, but probably not; remainder TBA.

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US motorcyclist could face 16 years jail for filming his own arrest. http://bit.ly/cCLO8y

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@garthk I may regret asking this, but why would I want a Daring Fireball t-shirt?

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Paul Bongiorno clearly doesn’t read @AntonyGreenABC’s work or listen to the “one question person” rule.

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ABC is advertising for cadet journalists in 2011 http://bit.ly/b3YonP

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I should’ve been recording this speech by @JuliaGillard at ‘cos it’d certainly have helped my insomnia tonight.

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2nd call: Melbourne client needs a simple online shop built during September to sell their PDF files. Email webdev@prussia.net for the RFQ.

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@GreenJ Perhaps if you chat with @AntonyGreenABC he will tell you, too, about his bowel cancer testing kit.

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Hah! “Maybe in time Australian Story will profile Kylie Sandilands’ proctologist.” Thanks, @GreenJ! http://bit.ly/923u6x

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@maninultimo @riskybusiness Heh. Don’t get me started, I’m trying to be well-behaved today. And so far I’m mostly succeeding.

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@riskybusiness If this tweet http://bit.ly/cR1sgX got me on Media Watch it’d give me a chance to talk about the Myth of Objectivity again.

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As @derekbarry has spotted, WikiLeakiLeaks is the work of Gawker Media. Linkbaiting from arsehole to breakfast time.

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It had to happen eventually: WikiLeakiLeaks! http://bit.ly/bLpxh3 HT @deptofinternets

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See, that’s what ethical people do when people point out their mistakes: they correct themselves. It’s not that hard, actually.

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Correction. It’s @WilliamBowe making that point over at Crikey Blogs, at “The Poll Bludger”. http://bit.ly/cGhtcM

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And @Pollytics explains much the same point over at Crikey Blogs. http://bit.ly/cGhtcM

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In that piece @AntonyGreenABC also explains why all this talk of national 2PP is irrelevant anyway. http://bit.ly/9iTiwr

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More @AntonyGreenABC explanations: Why the AEC’s displayed national 2PP vote is wrong. http://bit.ly/9iTiwr

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Things currently making me happy: 1. Phone conference with client went well. 2. Codeine is working.

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Agreed @jasonlangenauer it’d be good to know what the planned ICT syllabus actually IS. But let’s not confuse the discussion with facts.

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@paris_david @joshgnosis I have only seen a few snippets so far, but it is clearly must-watch TV. Or something.

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@smperris Que? Not on the iTunes Store I’m looking at. You must be on drugs.

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Why was I not previously aware of the truly Shakespearean drama that is “Tool Academy”?

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“Science is beginning to embrace the idea that some technology is Twinkies and some technology is Brussels sprouts.” http://n.pr/cVScxF

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It is important to move beyond the duck.

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Once again, @AntonyGreenABC appears silently at my elbow. He is such a sneak. Also, he’ll be on Lateline tonight.

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@dananimal “NASA on the Commons” is just the name of the account, and Flickr uses “commons” generically for freely-reusable material.

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Correct @dananimal under US law all material produced by NASA etc using taxpayers’ money is in the public domain. I did not mention CC.

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We now have NASA on the Commons: NASA hands out copyright-free imagery on Flickr http://bit.ly/anWiRy

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“Things Organized Neatly”: a blog of pictures of, erm, things organised neatly. http://bit.ly/aHfbtZ

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@deptofinternets Which came first, the copper or the digger?

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Oh, and this is Victoria Police’s Twitter policy. I smell a groundhog. http://bit.ly/cbPsew

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Australian Defence Force’s Twitter policy for @AusDefenceForce, Flickr and Facebook, gloriously brief and direct. http://bit.ly/cAR8dN

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Australia’s defence forces on Twitter at @AusDefenceForce

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@paulwallbank They don’t let me drive motorised vehicles.

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More on China’s domination in rare earth elements: export cuts driving up prices. http://bit.ly/9wdwOA

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Triple J is after four “cross-media reporters” http://bit.ly/amBaQJ

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In case you missed it last night, The Ultimate Cover of The Final Countdown http://youtu.be/XkMWdI2I… HT @BernardKeane

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Hmm… My fingers are being uncooperative today. Please translate my typos as you wish.

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Ya also mfor the various suggestions on stopping Fairfax’s autoplay videos. I’ll blog about them later today.

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RT @phildobbie: Imagine your frustration though, if you turned on Channel 7 and it said “click here to play”. [Yes, but that’s television.]

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Dear Fairfax Arsefats, if I wanted to watch the video I would have pressed the “play” button. Surely you know this by now?

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Channel NIne has an “exclusive” interview with Bert Newton? Gosh that’ll win you a Walkley, eh?

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Oh do try to keep up with current events.

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Dear Political Journos, total 2CP votes nationally has no constitutional validity whatsoever, SO STOP THIS WANKERY!

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The verb you are looking for there is “play” or “fiddle”.

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Dear IT Gadget Reviewers, trying something at a few random locations is not a “test”. Testing is an engineering discipline.

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RT @bengrubb: Richards has fixed his article. Woop. [Yeah, gigabytes, megabytes, like, it’s all the same, right?]

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“Coalition one big happy family, says Truss” http://bit.ly/bkr9HQ In other news, porcine aviation now widespread.

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@DanielleWarby Just tested. No, the Townie’s internets are geb0rken. Unwired’s uConnect is full of fail.

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@ragnarok1971 I agree. A “do not like” button should be everywhere. Except on my stuff, obviously.

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@DanielleWarby I bring my own internets to the Townie, so theirs may still be broken. And next time I see you, please say hello!

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Oh hang on, that might not be ethical. Only click if you do actually like it.

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Click on the “Like” button you cunts.

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Re-pimping my @zdnetaustralia Patch Monday podcast: “BYO computers: cloud security risk?” http://bit.ly/9um1Kf

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A “35Gbps Wireless Modem”? Orly? David Richards, you are an arsehat. http://bit.ly/c2y2GI HT @bengrubb

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I do love the way the entire political media in this country is currently lecturing three people about what they should do.

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@franksting Yeah, God just gets it right sometimes. It’s glorious.

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Oh that’s right, it’s Monday and that goddam television program is on again.

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Now laughing at all the DMs I’m getting wanting a link to the smeggery mentioned previously. Why are people so unkind?

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@franksting Yes, Sir, this is the Town Hall Hotel in Newtown, And that blast of sunset lasted just a few minutes.

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Laughing at the most gorgeous piece of smeggery I’ve just seen, but which I can’t link to because they’re probably watching.

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God visits the pub before sunset http://post.ly/uWgI

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@PointZeroOne Sometimes things are said which are particularly wrong, and they are not said by me.

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Some setting-straight of constitutional issues re by @peterjblack http://bit.ly/cnup3f

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RT @KyBusiness: Infigen (ex-Babcock & Brown Wind) CEO: we’d benefit from greater Greens influence - they can work with big business [Gosh!]

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I have ensconced myself in a location with 240V, 7.7 standard drinks and a view of some minor interest.

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And Bill Heffernan, yes, obviously.

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@SuperOpinion Oh sorry, Sir. Monday afternoons have become a brain-dead time for me. I have trouble processing subtlety.

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@SuperOpinion Who is George Orwell? Or who is Robert Graves?

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@mpesce I have always been a fan of plain speaking. As was George Orwell and Robert Graves.

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@mpesce Given that it’s clear who you’re writing about, I think your story should also include the phrase “self-aggrandising wanker”.

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@mpesce I would only use the word n00b if you’re going for a sense of nostalgia in geekland. But that’s just me.

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@firstdogonmoon I know, but the lies are alwways so transparent. Lies! Lies!

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It does look like contacting the Crikey office this afternoon might be… unfruitful, however.

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I suppose at some point this week I should think of some more words to write for money.

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Hah! Pi to 138 decimal places is SO EASY to tweet! http://bit.ly/c7Ngmq You are full of fail, @jpoh!

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Or a dead dog, thrown down a deep well for play.

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Like a starry summer night.

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In its own way.

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Everything is tweetable.

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Pouty Newtown boy is pouting.

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Mobile: Enmore Rd; King St; lunch; errands; remainder TBA, ‘cos I still want to do something Different.

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Just think, in 30 years from now your Facebook profile could end up like this. http://bit.ly/9THgLo

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@SnarkyPlatypus I see that your training in money laundering is coming in handy in your new role as “refunds processor”. Congratulations.

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This what happens when arseholes like Facebook decide what is and isn’t legitimate to discuss. http://huff.to/cG8wI5

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The human remains in Belanglo State Forest have nothing to do with me. http://bit.ly/95gfCO

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We need to fight the stigma in this country against lazy self-centred assholes. http://onion.com/9xnQEU

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New Patch Monday podcast at @zdnetaustralia: “BYO computers: cloud security risk?” http://bit.ly/9um1Kf

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The Australian shocked that ministers still get paid as ministers while they’re still ministers. http://bit.ly/bvZGHH

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RT @SoniaLastrega: @stilgherrian You should apply; you’re frequently quite cross. [Arf! Arf! Arf!]

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Federal government’s draft syllabus would REDUCE hours of computing studies for high school students http://bit.ly/9T9O8o

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I suspect @ApostrophePong will be pleased the discover than Apollo has decided that all his possessions need to be on the floor today.

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German Street View opponents have newspaper take their photo… in front of their house. http://bit.ly/a95etS HT @mfoetsch via @jeffjarvis

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Tue plan: Review development quotes with client; at-desk loose-end clearing; lunch & errands; remainder TBA, depending on the weather.

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The audio of @BernardKeane’s “Politics behind the Scenes” at ANU is now online http://bit.ly/d2iyGu

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What disappoints me is that all this time could be spent analysing the policies rushed out before polling day.

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Or maybe an article about what “the Australian people” intended, as if they’re some hive-mind with a single thought.

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Here’s an idea. Why don’t journos write pieces telling the three independents what they think they should do? That’d be original.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Non, l’oiseau qui ne peut pas voler n’est pas nécessaire. Un peu de chaleur et d’étirement suffira.

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Also, my understanding is that the Coaltion is not a “party” in law, so it’s Abbott’s tongue versus Truss’ too. Measure, lads!

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Has anyone added up all the MPs tongue lengths yet, to see which party is “ahead”?

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour.Mon dos se sent comme un serpent après qu’il a été chassé par un tracteur. Un tracteur vert. Et vous?

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Re-emerges, with intermittent success.

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Emerges, kinda.

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Oh, fight amongst yourselves now… [exit]

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If you need proof then http://youtu.be/msbkw8g3… HT someone who is probably too embarrassed to own up.

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Actually there is something wrong with ukuleles per se. They’re shit.

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There’s nothing wrong with ukuleles per se, just the white middle class westerners imagining they’re SO fashionable for liking them.

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Should any of you pedophiles want a ukulele, my client Fender Australia can provide a nice one. http://bit.ly/bzvndA [Unpaid plug.]

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Sorry, links to “World’s best ukulele player” are pretty much the musical equivalent of links to “World’s most elegant pedophile”.

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That’s a fucking ukulele isn’t it? Have you no self-respect?

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RT @jasonlangenauer: Oh, this is good: Charlie Brooker in the Grauniad on the “ground zero mosque” madness: http://bit.ly/bsPpdx [It is.]

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I do not trust these women http://post.ly/uY9o

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I’m out of touch. Since when has @leighsales been in lower case? How very modern.

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@deptofinternets I am not “cynical”. Ever.

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Deadlines, @bernietb? Then don’t call it a “test”. Call it a “first look” or a “trial” or something.

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Not only engineers can test, @alexkidman, but just a LITTLE science here would help. The media is too pwned by the vendors IMO.

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@TheFacelessSpin And if The Ranga wants to claim 2CP total votes as relevant, then she’s an arsehat too.

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@jeamland @SnarkyPlatypus Yes. Take a break from writing and making podcasts by… writing and making a podcast. Not an appealing strategy.

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Ah, words! “He’s editor of The Reactionary, which expresses political views not found on these premises.” http://bit.ly/bqKuyB

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Still pondering what to do today that’s a bit Different.

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@elliottng Thank you for fixing my typos before RTing. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.

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URL previews have destroyed fun.

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More web-is-dead debunking, Wired’s Chris Andeson “a professional exaggerator” http://bit.ly/8ZBTFu

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I should do something Different today.

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Dear Google Translate, why did you know “bas résille” for the Platypus but not for me? Vous êtes une salope volage!

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It is difficult to say. It depends to a large extent on what you consider to be “normal”.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Fishnets doit être utilisé pour le poulpe, pas la mode. C’est la méthode grecque.

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Oh of course the Japanese virus infected computers with pictures of squid. Tentacleware FTW! http://bit.ly/bbCIPj

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Il ya une certaine réticence. Et vous?

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P J O’Rourke: “The 72-Hour Expert: Everything you always wanted to know about Afghanistan” http://bit.ly/9GUXCg

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@JeremyJacobs “Sleep with clever women from North Shore, Sydney”? Well here we go! http://bit.ly/aFIZjD

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Perhaps some sort of questionnaire is in order.

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RT @shannynlee: Would you ask them to spell the name of their suburb before you slept with them? [Probably a good idea.]

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@JeremyJacobs Well, even simple names seem to cause problems for some. I am quite frankly, appalled.

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Would you have sex with someone who can’t even spell the name of the suburb they live in?

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“Beastly” is a suitably woody word.

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@BernardKeane @jdub I should revive “Stilgherrian Live” just so I can use that as the play-out song at the end. We can all sing along.

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RT @BernardKeane: The final cover of The Final Countdown http://youtu.be/XkMWdI2I… [Particularly impressive.]

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And… that’s the “Patch Monday” podcast filed, ready to be posted tomorrow morning for your listening pleasure. Whew!

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Final mix-down is done. Just a few things to do and I can start the weekend, yay! What’s everyone doing?

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@SnarkyPlatypus Non, mais vous venez de me donner une idée merveilleuse.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis vidé de canard. Je me prépare à remplir le monde de la connaissance. Et vous?

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@Satisfaciendum No, there’s nothing euphemistic about “studio mode”. It really does just mean I’m working in my “studio”.

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Editing the podcast continues well, thank you for asking.

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In studio mode for most of the rest of the afternoon.

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“Broadband compromise is a good thing”, says @phildobbie’s “Twisted Wire” podcast. http://bit.ly/afgkUk

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Sun plan: Kill everyone involved in Insiders and/or produce the “Patch Monday” podcast, all at a gentle pace; quiet evening.

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Veteran journos are like veteran cars. They should only be used on Sunday afternoons in spring for a gentle run to the pub.

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Hmmm… Some of those tweets were tagged , others , but they’re really all the same narrative. Glue is called for.

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Oh well, there are my notes for a forthcoming cranky essay about as symbol of… oh something. I’ll come back to that later.

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And now, Mr Cassidy, you laugh at Mr Windsor for suggesting this’ll all fade over time? You patronising cunt!

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Mr Cassidy, why keep asking these guys which “side” they support? They’ve said many times they don’t intend to rush.

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Mr Cassidy, what units do you use to measure “determinedness to be PM”? How does it affect their skill at governance? What wank!

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@vealmince Still use preferences to decide the local MP, but each local MP is then weighted by their ability to reflect the locale.

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The Future is ALWAYS uncharted territory, Mr Rabbit. That’s why it’s The Future. Why we have to think ahead, not rebleat slogans.

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Dear Mr Cassidy, please just ask Mr Rabbit if he’s planning to say anything new in this interview, and if not just go to music.

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@bernietb Government doesn’t make legislation, Parliament does. Government continues under existing legislation if no Parliament.

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So, The Ranga gets 64 votes on each division, Mr Rabbit 59 and Bob Katter 47.

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New parliament idea: MPs gets votes in proportion to their own primary vote in their electorate.

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Mind you, I’m also stabby with ABC for a sneering “bush MPs” line Friday, as if non-urban MPs are somehow less-elected members.

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Thinking that journos who say we have “no government” are wilfully misleading the public and acting unethically, eh MEAA?

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Stabby about Canberra media pushing “it’s all chaos”. It’s only chaos for you lot and your pollie bedmates. Rest of Australia continues OK.

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Oh FFS @LaurieOakes Australia does not have “no government” just no parliament. Ranga is PM until there’s a change, remember?

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Partying the Shire and Beyond, apparently http://post.ly/uExZ

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Shaving your head does not make you fashionable, it makes you bald.

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That man was coveting my duck. There’s a Commandment against that!

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Central Europeans are dangerous. That is all.

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Mobile: Enmore Rd; King St; fat off; fat back on again. And this is the Cosmic Balance maintained. There shall be a duck.

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RT @markjohnsonaus: Re Katter egging The Beatles. Bob, who do you think the song “Fool On The Hill” was written about?

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Bob Katter: I am the Egg Man. Yes, he attacked The Beatles. http://bit.ly/c2PASx HT @rosieryan

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“XML is like violence - if it doesn’t solve your problems, you are not using enough of it.” http://bit.ly/aH0mVk

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RT @sylmobile: If I had a son, I’d send him to school dressed as Bob Katter.

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And apparently you need to be doing a Masters before you can be a terrorist for recreation. http://bit.ly/br7DFj HT various.

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Well @JustinLee76 here is Quicksort, with MOAR COWBELL! http://youtu.be/WoZ6NuQZ…

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@NewtonMark It was a Catholic school. What would’ve happened if they’d dressed as the Virgin Mary?

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YouTube insists I watch this, and so should you. “Could Jesus walk on custard?” http://youtu.be/w4K8r9OU…

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@iBleeter I only know Wilkie from TV. He’s repeating “stable, competent and ethical government”, seems calmly rational. We shall see.

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What different sorting algorithms sound like. Extravagantly geeky. http://youtu.be/t8g-iYGH…

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@RWKrajewski Oh yes, I have been living in Sydney for, oh, 15 years now.

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@rbbrown No no, I’d like a Merimbula band! They’d presumably play Cold Chisel covers on steel drums.

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What’s wrong with kids dressing as Hitler? It’s not like they dressed as Bulldogs players and handed out roofies. http://bbc.in/auaLei

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@rbbrown A “Merimbula band”? They play at the Magic Mountain, I assume?

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Also, p[;lytttttttgtgggg, apparently. Thank you, Artemis.

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u7666666666666666

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Thank you @johnemcintyre for using “impotentate” in a sentence. Good paragraphs on newsworthiness. http://bit.ly/bOdj1x

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Sat plan: Review some documents over a cup of tea or two; eventually gym with @SnarkyPlatypus and something involving a pig, or a duck.

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