I’ve just seen the prooof. It IS possible to talk on the phone and pick your nose while driving the kids home from school.
Mobile: Enmore Rd; lunch; potential errands, but probably not; remainder TBA.
US motorcyclist could face 16 years jail for filming his own arrest. http://bit.ly/cCLO8y
@garthk I may regret asking this, but why would I want a Daring Fireball t-shirt?
Paul Bongiorno clearly doesn’t read @AntonyGreenABC’s work or listen to the “one question person” rule. #npc
ABC is advertising for cadet journalists in 2011 http://bit.ly/b3YonP
I should’ve been recording this speech by @JuliaGillard at #npc ‘cos it’d certainly have helped my insomnia tonight.
2nd call: Melbourne client needs a simple online shop built during September to sell their PDF files. Email webdev@prussia.net for the RFQ.
@GreenJ Perhaps if you chat with @AntonyGreenABC he will tell you, too, about his bowel cancer testing kit.
Hah! “Maybe in time Australian Story will profile Kylie Sandilands’ proctologist.” Thanks, @GreenJ! http://bit.ly/923u6x
@maninultimo @riskybusiness Heh. Don’t get me started, I’m trying to be well-behaved today. And so far I’m mostly succeeding.
@riskybusiness If this tweet http://bit.ly/cR1sgX got me on Media Watch it’d give me a chance to talk about the Myth of Objectivity again.
As @derekbarry has spotted, WikiLeakiLeaks is the work of Gawker Media. Linkbaiting from arsehole to breakfast time.
It had to happen eventually: WikiLeakiLeaks! http://bit.ly/bLpxh3 HT @deptofinternets
See, that’s what ethical people do when people point out their mistakes: they correct themselves. It’s not that hard, actually.
Correction. It’s @WilliamBowe making that point over at Crikey Blogs, at “The Poll Bludger”. http://bit.ly/cGhtcM
And @Pollytics explains much the same point over at Crikey Blogs. http://bit.ly/cGhtcM
In that piece @AntonyGreenABC also explains why all this talk of national 2PP is irrelevant anyway. http://bit.ly/9iTiwr
More @AntonyGreenABC explanations: Why the AEC’s displayed national 2PP vote is wrong. http://bit.ly/9iTiwr
Things currently making me happy: 1. Phone conference with client went well. 2. Codeine is working.
Agreed @jasonlangenauer it’d be good to know what the planned ICT syllabus actually IS. But let’s not confuse the discussion with facts.
.
Emerges
@paris_david @joshgnosis I have only seen a few snippets so far, but it is clearly must-watch TV. Or something.
@smperris Que? Not on the iTunes Store I’m looking at. You must be on drugs.
Why was I not previously aware of the truly Shakespearean drama that is “Tool Academy”?
Home.
“Science is beginning to embrace the idea that some technology is Twinkies and some technology is Brussels sprouts.” http://n.pr/cVScxF
It is important to move beyond the duck.
Once again, @AntonyGreenABC appears silently at my elbow. He is such a sneak. Also, he’ll be on Lateline tonight.
@dananimal “NASA on the Commons” is just the name of the account, and Flickr uses “commons” generically for freely-reusable material.
Correct @dananimal under US law all material produced by NASA etc using taxpayers’ money is in the public domain. I did not mention CC.
We now have NASA on the Commons: NASA hands out copyright-free imagery on Flickr http://bit.ly/anWiRy
“Things Organized Neatly”: a blog of pictures of, erm, things organised neatly. http://bit.ly/aHfbtZ
@deptofinternets Which came first, the copper or the digger?
Oh, and this is Victoria Police’s Twitter policy. I smell a groundhog. http://bit.ly/cbPsew
Australian Defence Force’s Twitter policy for @AusDefenceForce, Flickr and Facebook, gloriously brief and direct. http://bit.ly/cAR8dN
Australia’s defence forces on Twitter at @AusDefenceForce
@paulwallbank They don’t let me drive motorised vehicles.
More on China’s domination in rare earth elements: export cuts driving up prices. http://bit.ly/9wdwOA
Triple J is after four “cross-media reporters” http://bit.ly/amBaQJ
In case you missed it last night, The Ultimate Cover of The Final Countdown http://youtu.be/XkMWdI2I… HT @BernardKeane
Hmm… My fingers are being uncooperative today. Please translate my typos as you wish.
Ya also mfor the various suggestions on stopping Fairfax’s autoplay videos. I’ll blog about them later today.
RT @phildobbie: Imagine your frustration though, if you turned on Channel 7 and it said “click here to play”. [Yes, but that’s television.]
Dear Fairfax Arsefats, if I wanted to watch the video I would have pressed the “play” button. Surely you know this by now?
Channel NIne has an “exclusive” interview with Bert Newton? Gosh that’ll win you a Walkley, eh?
Oh do try to keep up with current events.
Dear Political Journos, total 2CP votes nationally has no constitutional validity whatsoever, SO STOP THIS WANKERY! #ausvotes
The verb you are looking for there is “play” or “fiddle”.
Dear IT Gadget Reviewers, trying something at a few random locations is not a “test”. Testing is an engineering discipline.
RT @bengrubb: Richards has fixed his article. Woop. [Yeah, gigabytes, megabytes, like, it’s all the same, right?]
“Coalition one big happy family, says Truss” http://bit.ly/bkr9HQ In other news, porcine aviation now widespread. #ausvotes
Soup.
@DanielleWarby Just tested. No, the Townie’s internets are geb0rken. Unwired’s uConnect is full of fail.
@ragnarok1971 I agree. A “do not like” button should be everywhere. Except on my stuff, obviously.
@DanielleWarby I bring my own internets to the Townie, so theirs may still be broken. And next time I see you, please say hello!
Oh hang on, that might not be ethical. Only click if you do actually like it.
Click on the “Like” button you cunts.
Re-pimping my @zdnetaustralia Patch Monday podcast: “BYO computers: cloud security risk?” http://bit.ly/9um1Kf
A “35Gbps Wireless Modem”? Orly? David Richards, you are an arsehat. http://bit.ly/c2y2GI HT @bengrubb
I do love the way the entire political media in this country is currently lecturing three people about what they should do. #ausvotes
@franksting Yeah, God just gets it right sometimes. It’s glorious.
Oh that’s right, it’s Monday and that goddam television program is on again.
Now laughing at all the DMs I’m getting wanting a link to the smeggery mentioned previously. Why are people so unkind?
@franksting Yes, Sir, this is the Town Hall Hotel in Newtown, And that blast of sunset lasted just a few minutes.
Laughing at the most gorgeous piece of smeggery I’ve just seen, but which I can’t link to because they’re probably watching. #smeg
God visits the pub before sunset http://post.ly/uWgI
@PointZeroOne Sometimes things are said which are particularly wrong, and they are not said by me.
Some setting-straight of constitutional issues re #ausvotes by @peterjblack http://bit.ly/cnup3f
RT @KyBusiness: Infigen (ex-Babcock & Brown Wind) CEO: we’d benefit from greater Greens influence - they can work with big business [Gosh!]
I have ensconced myself in a location with 240V, 7.7 standard drinks and a view of some minor interest.
And Bill Heffernan, yes, obviously.
@SuperOpinion Oh sorry, Sir. Monday afternoons have become a brain-dead time for me. I have trouble processing subtlety.
@SuperOpinion Who is George Orwell? Or who is Robert Graves?
@mpesce I have always been a fan of plain speaking. As was George Orwell and Robert Graves.
@mpesce Given that it’s clear who you’re writing about, I think your story should also include the phrase “self-aggrandising wanker”.
@mpesce I would only use the word n00b if you’re going for a sense of nostalgia in geekland. But that’s just me.
@firstdogonmoon I know, but the lies are alwways so transparent. Lies! Lies!
It does look like contacting the Crikey office this afternoon might be… unfruitful, however.
I suppose at some point this week I should think of some more words to write for money.
Hah! Pi to 138 decimal places is SO EASY to tweet! http://bit.ly/c7Ngmq You are full of fail, @jpoh!
Or a dead dog, thrown down a deep well for play.
Like a starry summer night.
In its own way.
Everything is tweetable.
Pouty Newtown boy is pouting.
Mobile: Enmore Rd; King St; lunch; errands; remainder TBA, ‘cos I still want to do something Different.
Just think, in 30 years from now your Facebook profile could end up like this. http://bit.ly/9THgLo
@SnarkyPlatypus I see that your training in money laundering is coming in handy in your new role as “refunds processor”. Congratulations.
This what happens when arseholes like Facebook decide what is and isn’t legitimate to discuss. http://huff.to/cG8wI5
The human remains in Belanglo State Forest have nothing to do with me. http://bit.ly/95gfCO
We need to fight the stigma in this country against lazy self-centred assholes. http://onion.com/9xnQEU
New Patch Monday podcast at @zdnetaustralia: “BYO computers: cloud security risk?” http://bit.ly/9um1Kf
The Australian shocked that ministers still get paid as ministers while they’re still ministers. http://bit.ly/bvZGHH
RT @SoniaLastrega: @stilgherrian You should apply; you’re frequently quite cross. [Arf! Arf! Arf!]
Federal government’s draft syllabus would REDUCE hours of computing studies for high school students http://bit.ly/9T9O8o
I suspect @ApostrophePong will be pleased the discover than Apollo has decided that all his possessions need to be on the floor today.
German Street View opponents have newspaper take their photo… in front of their house. http://bit.ly/a95etS HT @mfoetsch via @jeffjarvis
Tue plan: Review development quotes with client; at-desk loose-end clearing; lunch & errands; remainder TBA, depending on the weather.
The audio of @BernardKeane’s “Politics behind the Scenes” at ANU is now online http://bit.ly/d2iyGu
What disappoints me is that all this time could be spent analysing the policies rushed out before polling day. #ausvotes
Or maybe an article about what “the Australian people” intended, as if they’re some hive-mind with a single thought. #ausvotes
Here’s an idea. Why don’t journos write pieces telling the three independents what they think they should do? That’d be original. #ausvotes
@SnarkyPlatypus Non, l’oiseau qui ne peut pas voler n’est pas nécessaire. Un peu de chaleur et d’étirement suffira.
Also, my understanding is that the Coaltion is not a “party” in law, so it’s Abbott’s tongue versus Truss’ too. Measure, lads! #ausvotes
Has anyone added up all the MPs tongue lengths yet, to see which party is “ahead”? #ausvotes
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour.Mon dos se sent comme un serpent après qu’il a été chassé par un tracteur. Un tracteur vert. Et vous?
Re-emerges, with intermittent success.
Emerges, kinda.
Oh, fight amongst yourselves now… [exit]
If you need proof then http://youtu.be/msbkw8g3… HT someone who is probably too embarrassed to own up.
Actually there is something wrong with ukuleles per se. They’re shit.
There’s nothing wrong with ukuleles per se, just the white middle class westerners imagining they’re SO fashionable for liking them.
Should any of you pedophiles want a ukulele, my client Fender Australia can provide a nice one. http://bit.ly/bzvndA [Unpaid plug.]
Sorry, links to “World’s best ukulele player” are pretty much the musical equivalent of links to “World’s most elegant pedophile”.
That’s a fucking ukulele isn’t it? Have you no self-respect?
RT @jasonlangenauer: Oh, this is good: Charlie Brooker in the Grauniad on the “ground zero mosque” madness: http://bit.ly/bsPpdx [It is.]
Home.
I do not trust these women http://post.ly/uY9o
I’m out of touch. Since when has @leighsales been in lower case? How very modern.
@deptofinternets I am not “cynical”. Ever.
Deadlines, @bernietb? Then don’t call it a “test”. Call it a “first look” or a “trial” or something.
Not only engineers can test, @alexkidman, but just a LITTLE science here would help. The media is too pwned by the vendors IMO.
@TheFacelessSpin And if The Ranga wants to claim 2CP total votes as relevant, then she’s an arsehat too. #ausvotes
@jeamland @SnarkyPlatypus Yes. Take a break from writing and making podcasts by… writing and making a podcast. Not an appealing strategy.
Ah, words! “He’s editor of The Reactionary, which expresses political views not found on these premises.” http://bit.ly/bqKuyB
Still pondering what to do today that’s a bit Different.
@elliottng Thank you for fixing my typos before RTing. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.
URL previews have destroyed fun.
More web-is-dead debunking, Wired’s Chris Andeson “a professional exaggerator” http://bit.ly/8ZBTFu
I should do something Different today.
Dear Google Translate, why did you know “bas résille” for the Platypus but not for me? Vous êtes une salope volage!
It is difficult to say. It depends to a large extent on what you consider to be “normal”.
@SnarkyPlatypus Fishnets doit être utilisé pour le poulpe, pas la mode. C’est la méthode grecque.
Oh of course the Japanese virus infected computers with pictures of squid. Tentacleware FTW! http://bit.ly/bbCIPj
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Il ya une certaine réticence. Et vous?
P J O’Rourke: “The 72-Hour Expert: Everything you always wanted to know about Afghanistan” http://bit.ly/9GUXCg
@JeremyJacobs “Sleep with clever women from North Shore, Sydney”? Well here we go! http://bit.ly/aFIZjD
Perhaps some sort of questionnaire is in order.
RT @shannynlee: Would you ask them to spell the name of their suburb before you slept with them? [Probably a good idea.]
@JeremyJacobs Well, even simple names seem to cause problems for some. I am quite frankly, appalled.
Would you have sex with someone who can’t even spell the name of the suburb they live in?
It begins.
“Beastly” is a suitably woody word.
@BernardKeane @jdub I should revive “Stilgherrian Live” just so I can use that as the play-out song at the end. We can all sing along.
RT @BernardKeane: The final cover of The Final Countdown http://youtu.be/XkMWdI2I… [Particularly impressive.]
And… that’s the “Patch Monday” podcast filed, ready to be posted tomorrow morning for your listening pleasure. Whew!
Final mix-down is done. Just a few things to do and I can start the weekend, yay! What’s everyone doing?
@SnarkyPlatypus Non, mais vous venez de me donner une idée merveilleuse.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis vidé de canard. Je me prépare à remplir le monde de la connaissance. Et vous?
@Satisfaciendum No, there’s nothing euphemistic about “studio mode”. It really does just mean I’m working in my “studio”.
Editing the podcast continues well, thank you for asking.
In studio mode for most of the rest of the afternoon.
“Broadband compromise is a good thing”, says @phildobbie’s “Twisted Wire” podcast. http://bit.ly/afgkUk
Sun plan: Kill everyone involved in Insiders and/or produce the “Patch Monday” podcast, all at a gentle pace; quiet evening.
Veteran journos are like veteran cars. They should only be used on Sunday afternoons in spring for a gentle run to the pub.
Hmmm… Some of those tweets were tagged #insiders, others #ausvotes, but they’re really all the same narrative. Glue is called for.
Oh well, there are my notes for a forthcoming cranky essay about #insiders as symbol of… oh something. I’ll come back to that later.
And now, Mr Cassidy, you laugh at Mr Windsor for suggesting this’ll all fade over time? You patronising cunt! #insiders
Mr Cassidy, why keep asking these guys which “side” they support? They’ve said many times they don’t intend to rush. #insiders
Mr Cassidy, what units do you use to measure “determinedness to be PM”? How does it affect their skill at governance? What wank! #insiders
@vealmince Still use preferences to decide the local MP, but each local MP is then weighted by their ability to reflect the locale.
The Future is ALWAYS uncharted territory, Mr Rabbit. That’s why it’s The Future. Why we have to think ahead, not rebleat slogans. #ausvotes
Dear Mr Cassidy, please just ask Mr Rabbit if he’s planning to say anything new in this interview, and if not just go to music. #insiders
@bernietb Government doesn’t make legislation, Parliament does. Government continues under existing legislation if no Parliament. #ausvotes
So, The Ranga gets 64 votes on each division, Mr Rabbit 59 and Bob Katter 47. #ausvotes
New parliament idea: MPs gets votes in proportion to their own primary vote in their electorate. #ausvotes
Mind you, I’m also stabby with ABC for a sneering “bush MPs” line Friday, as if non-urban MPs are somehow less-elected members. #ausvotes
Thinking that journos who say we have “no government” are wilfully misleading the public and acting unethically, eh MEAA? #ausvotes
Stabby about Canberra media pushing “it’s all chaos”. It’s only chaos for you lot and your pollie bedmates. Rest of Australia continues OK.
Oh FFS @LaurieOakes Australia does not have “no government” just no parliament. Ranga is PM until there’s a change, remember? #ausvotes
Emerges.
[exit]
Home.
Partying the Shire and Beyond, apparently http://post.ly/uExZ
Shaving your head does not make you fashionable, it makes you bald.
That man was coveting my duck. There’s a Commandment against that!
Central Europeans are dangerous. That is all.
Mobile: Enmore Rd; King St; fat off; fat back on again. And this is the Cosmic Balance maintained. There shall be a duck.
RT @markjohnsonaus: Re Katter egging The Beatles. Bob, who do you think the song “Fool On The Hill” was written about?
Bob Katter: I am the Egg Man. Yes, he attacked The Beatles. http://bit.ly/c2PASx #ausvotes HT @rosieryan
“XML is like violence - if it doesn’t solve your problems, you are not using enough of it.” http://bit.ly/aH0mVk
RT @sylmobile: If I had a son, I’d send him to school dressed as Bob Katter.
And apparently you need to be doing a Masters before you can be a terrorist for recreation. http://bit.ly/br7DFj HT various.
Well @JustinLee76 here is Quicksort, with MOAR COWBELL! http://youtu.be/WoZ6NuQZ…
@NewtonMark It was a Catholic school. What would’ve happened if they’d dressed as the Virgin Mary?
YouTube insists I watch this, and so should you. “Could Jesus walk on custard?” http://youtu.be/w4K8r9OU…
@iBleeter I only know Wilkie from TV. He’s repeating “stable, competent and ethical government”, seems calmly rational. We shall see.
What different sorting algorithms sound like. Extravagantly geeky. http://youtu.be/t8g-iYGH…
@RWKrajewski Oh yes, I have been living in Sydney for, oh, 15 years now.
@rbbrown No no, I’d like a Merimbula band! They’d presumably play Cold Chisel covers on steel drums.
What’s wrong with kids dressing as Hitler? It’s not like they dressed as Bulldogs players and handed out roofies. http://bbc.in/auaLei
@rbbrown A “Merimbula band”? They play at the Magic Mountain, I assume?
Also, p[;lytttttttgtgggg, apparently. Thank you, Artemis.
u7666666666666666
Thank you @johnemcintyre for using “impotentate” in a sentence. Good paragraphs on newsworthiness. http://bit.ly/bOdj1x
Sat plan: Review some documents over a cup of tea or two; eventually gym with @SnarkyPlatypus and something involving a pig, or a duck.