Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

September 8th, 2011

Must that photographer document everything? Must he?

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Oh. Dear. God. What happens on a boat stays on a boat. Preferably this boat. Or a boat that’s about to sink. Which better not be this boat.

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Destroying our nation’s reputation.

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There is singing.

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Oh FFS I have to do this sober.

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Boarding a boat in Putrajaya.

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Right. Now I must go downstairs and enjoy the Kasperskyhospitality, which is dinner followed by sightseeing. Apparently. Connectivity TBA.

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Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck I shouldn’t have rushed that now there is white powder everywhere.

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@expectproblems Dogpile. Excellent. The more dogs the better. Especially when they are in a pile.

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Goodness me. Don’t you people have the internet? My internet has a search engine. Does yours?

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No, I’m serious. My Dead Kitten is looking a bit ratty, so to speak, and I’m wondering whether that affects its performance.

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Should I comb my Dead Kitten?

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@WoollyMittens No, seriously, no alcohol for me. Not until 21/9 at the earliest. arseh.at/kuz

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Preparing to record a “Patch Monday” interview with two of Kaspersky Lab’s deep geeks. Should be fun.

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Me at CSO: “Kaspersky sets sights on corporate market” arseh.at/kwe My opinion piece will appear tomorrow.

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Now look @darrenpauli @paulwallbank @danielstone I am not having alcohol I tell you. And it’s true. All too true.

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@phbarratt What scares me is how many people gobble up those propagandacharts without question.

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Uhoh. Group photo.

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Gun Suk Ling is gushing somewhat over the men of the Manly Sea Eagles, sponsored by Kaspersky. We now know her type, eh? ;)

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Official launch of these new Kaspersky products starts 11 October, with end-user marketing through Q4.

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Kaspersky current global revenue B2C 65%, B2B 28%, tech alliances 7%. Looking to grow B2B to 34% then 40% next two years.

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APAC sales director Gun Suk Ling says Kaspersky can pitch for much larger enterprises with this new suite.

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RT @ssharwood: Let’s not forget a PC probably outlives a smartphone by several years. [Look, keep your so-called “facts” out of this!]

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RT @grantshow: I’d not recommend them based on how shit their logo is. [This is why the hackers win, you know.]

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Smartphone shipments > PC shipments. [Insert standard corporate concerns about smartphones, BYO devices etc.]

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Kaspersky is #5 in market share, but says they’re #2 when it comes to being recommended by IT professionals. I’ll explore that point.

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We’re into the hype-the-resellers segment. Kaspersky does have an opportunity here, for sure. Pushing the desire of security suites.

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Shoosh. They’re watching. They have their own Twitters over at the side of the room.

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“Silver bullet.” Drink!

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RT @jeamland: WiFi at that scale requires specially engineered hamsters. [I don’t think they have hamsters in Malaysia. That’s the problem.]

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Don’t you just love graphs that have no units specified, and no scale on the axes, used to “prove” a point?

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The message that your privacy is OK even if you contribute to crowdsourced security is being repeated and repeated and repeated.

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The router in this room isn’t handling the load. No surprises there.

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Nathan Wang promoting the idea of default-deny and crowdsourced whitelisting as the way to handle the app explosion.

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Is this second breakfast? Third?

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The internets are full of snails.

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Big sign unveiled: “Kaspersky Open Space Security”: “protection for all types of network nodes”. New framing?

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According to the program on the back of my lanyard thingy, we are now 30 minutes behind schedule. Not that I’m terribly fussed.

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These random pop-up messages about an expired *.opendns.com certificate fill me with confidence.

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Kaspersky Security Center (new management console) web-accessible by sysadmins from home, LulzSec kids from bedrooms worldwide. ;)

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To judge by the screenshots, Kaspersky has managed to present complex configuration details rather cleanly.

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@LiaTimson I think I heard that device control can handle ranges of series numbers, so whitelist a batch of USB drives for your firm?

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Kaspersky Lab has 3 billion malicious files now listed in their reputation database, plus 300 million OK files. Claims to be largest.

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Alex Ng: “Once you have this [Kaspersky Security Center] installed, you are next to God on your network.”

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3. Cloud-based identification of new threats, e.g. malicious URLs, as identified by community of users. [Why is this “cloud”?]

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2. System Watcher that monitors system activity for suspicious activity.

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1. Pattern-based signatures (PBS) for smaller signature file sizes, better detection of malware (they say).

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Kaspersky replaces “Anti-Virus for Windows” with “Endpoint Security 8.0 for Windows”, three main new technologies…

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Evgeny Aseev: “The only option is to be somewhat paranoid.” Excellent. I’m already WELL past that point!

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RT @life42: Spreadsheets are just fucking awesome, who’s with me? [I would be, sure, IF I’D HAD SERIOUSLY LARGE QUANTITIES OF BAD DRUGS!]

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Aseev: “Store passwords securely, not just MD5 hashes which can be cracked, especially short ones.” Rainbow tables win, it seems.

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“I think you are quite bored with Stuxnet stories, so I will not cover it today.” Hah! Evgeny, I’m starting to like you a lot.

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Thanks, Evgeny, for starting a presentation on Operation Aurora with this unrelated but fascinating history. arseh.at/kw4

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OK, we’re hammering the hotel ballroom Wi-Fi. Surprise surprise. Time to open a packet sniffer?

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Evgeny Aseev, head of China A-V Lab, covering the “radical change in cybercrime landscape”. I’m talking with him later, just for you.

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Kaspersky Lab is seeing 70k new unique threats each day, says APAC MD Harry Cheung. IMO even counting them starts not making sense.

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There is a video. All corporate events start with a video. It’s a Rule in The Big Book.

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About to start the morning session at Kaspersky Lab’s preview event in Kuala Lumpur. My hashtag to follow/filter is

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RT @jonkudelka: Not so much an article as a cry for help. [Oh so very true…]

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Dear Canberra Journalists, perhaps you could all write the equivalent stories to this one from your lives? arseh.at/kw2

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How many days since the last prominent [US] homophobe was caught in a gay sex scandal? gayhomophobe.com HT @thomasfuchs via @lachlanhardy

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Too. Much. Breakfast. Five star hotel is five stars. And fifteen breakfasts.

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Actually, that should be all major categories stable or trending down. Still…

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NSW quarterly crime stats: ALL categories trending down. Watch out for “crime wave” reportage. arseh.at/kvx [PDF]

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Thu plan: Karspersky Lab’s event in Kuala Lumpur all day; Kasperskyhospitality™ tonight. Filter out should this not be your thing.

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Thursday begins, though t hasn’t got as far as having sunlight here in Kuala Lumpur yet. Or me having working neurons.

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