Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

In Sydney NSW AU until Mon

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

January 2012

@MikeStuchbery Oh. You confused me saying that I didn’t know with the idea that I wanted to know. :(

via TweetDeck in reply to Mike__Stuchbery

I also spoke about Twitter and censorship with @domknight on the wireless last night. arseh.at/rws

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Me at @crikey_news, from yesterday: “The tweets must flow, except when they risk revenue” arseh.at/rx6

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@MikeStuchbery I don’t know what “Fringe” is, so I’ll assume it’s the endless Nazi-ruled dimensions. At least the uniforms are nice.

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All these parallel universes are really starting to shit me. Hugh Everett, you’ve a lot to answer for!

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Time to collapse. Something about burning the candle at both ends and/or a dildo. Confused? Ask @elronxenu. Thud.

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@EnsignR Sure, I’m happy with Supreme Leader. /cc @domknight

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New blog post: “Talking Twitter and censorship on ABC Local Radio”, with tonight’s audio. arseh.at/rws

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And the radio is done! Thank you @domknight, thank you @702sydney, thank you linersmen, thank you ball boys.

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On hold for @domknight at ABC @702sydney and around NSW. Listen at arseh.at/rwo

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RT @peter_tonoli: FBI to monitor Facebook, Twitter, Myspace arseh.at/rwl [Erm, they’re not already? That strikes me as odd.]

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@courteneyh I’m currently revising my bio with a “what people said” page. May I include “You’ll always be the dildo dude to me”?

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@miss_shiny The avatar is indeed an amethyst. /cc @courteneyh @mwyres @PointZeroOne (and others Twitter may have forgotten to transmit)

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I’m on ABC @702sydney and NSW local radio at 2120 talking Twitter and censorship with @domknight. Listen at arseh.at/qbh

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You are far from the first person to suggest my current avatar looks like a dildo or vibrator, @courteneyh, BUT IT IS NOT!

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@ddowza And since you’re working at a media organisation now, I am compelled to tell you that “a lot” is two words.

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@courteneyh Have you hear of Wikipedia? Apparently it’s on the internet somewhere. The kids love it, apparently.

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@ddowza @NewtonMark Hmmm. Spambot traffic or even a DDoD wouldn’t cause the home page to flip between versions. /cc @crikey_news

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Hmmm… My @crikey_news piece is now listed on the home page as part of the current newsletter, but it clicks through to a 404.

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As promised, here’s the wider view over the valley tonight. flic.kr/p/bkRBy6 Ping @R_Chirgwin

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@en_gy Sorry to disappoint, but this time @SnarkyPlatypus’ bloodshed and mine are not connected.

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@onecuckoosnest @REDV6 @oberonsghost @sylmobile Thank you. Another photo coming momentarily.

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“Massive donut orgy”? WTF, @domknight @702sydney?

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Still bleeding from crashing barefoot through the undergrowth, but glad I grabbed this image. flic.kr/p/bkR6oB Ping @R_Chirgwin

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@AndrewPStreet Christ, that @domknight bloke has just anyone on his program, doesn’t he! I blame Creeping Sharia.

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A sudden, brief evening shower of rain brings a very different mood to the mountains.

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@BernardKeane @BernardKeane Well YOUR new content may be up at @crikey_news, but we’re not all so lucky.

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If it helps, I’m talking about Twitter and censorship with @domknight on ABC Local Radio at 2120 tonight. I’m opening the wine now.

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What does it mean when your farts smell of eggs?

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@SnarkyPlatypus Blood from carpet? A women who cleaned up crime scenes told me “A Stanley knife. Cut out that bit of carpet and replace it.”

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Hmmm… Things seem to be a little broken at @crikey_news right now, so I can’t pimp the thing I wrote there.

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So I step away from the internet oh so briefly and when I return @mpesce @sylmobile @MikeStuchbery are discussing selfish sphincters. See?

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You know that thing I said yesterday that I really should write down so I remember it? Me neither.

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@fat_asian Nope, not a dildo. It’s a small amethyst crystal. And, before you ask, I never explain my choice of Twitter avatars.

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@fat_asian Ah before I answer that, I’ll ask you what you think it is.

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No, @jeamland, this recipe youtu.be/S7GGkKpBR-g would not help. Sigh.

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@fat_asian You’ve lost me, sorry. I don’t understand your question. “dp”?

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Thanks for your advice and/or sympathy, @Wyld @purserj @Pelican1, but fortunately I seem to have found the video recipe I need.

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So, here I am once more in the confused mess that is video formats. With luck, I’ll have sorted this by Christmas.

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@GhostSwirv I haven’t read any of Mr Gaiman’s work, but if that’s his style I’m happy with that.

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Patch Monday podcast: “Skipping security is human nature”, with bonus diagram. arseh.at/rw0

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Dear Twitterverse, just because RTd or agreed with one thing you said doesn’t mean I agree with the entire rest of your fucked-up worldview.

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Oh. In case you haven’t guessed, I’ve filed the late-request @crikey_news piece and I’m taking a break before my next media blockbuster.

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@ddowza Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Add the occasional literary reference so people think you’re intelligent and you’re done.

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@ddowza Oh, I would never descend into that left-wing right-wing arsehattery. Mine is a far higher quality of crap analysis.

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RT @JohnBirmingham: @John_Hanna i dont mind hitting the paywall. it reminds me I cant be fucked reading the thing anyway. [Hurrah!]

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RT @johnemcintyre: Got “indefatigably” into a headline. Score. [At least somebody’s day is going well.]

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Somehow this thing I am writing for @crikey_news namechecks both Frank Herbert and Ayn Rand. Today is just weird.

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RT @simonswatman: Unless you’re a weirdo with a thing for bird shit, always push a Heron through a letterbox tail first. HT @charltonbrooker

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“Patch Monday” podcast filed. Morning rearranged to make everything fit. Mood adjusted by slaughtering several endangered species.

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@izevaka My sincere apologies if any of my tweets fail to meet your standards for in-depth analysis. Also, go fuck yourself.

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Switching into studio mode. Quiet please. I’ll be done by around 1030, I’d say.

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@DownloadABC Sorry for how I expressed by point last night, but I worry the ABC lacks the confidence to turn down being Zuckerberg’s bitch.

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@izevaka Personally I find that reducing criticisms to “hating” and then labelling the critics “haters” to be rather shallow, don’t you?

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Please that my old AIR-based TweetDeck suddenly decide to start working again. Displeased at the things it’s revealing.

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Mon plan: Complete “Patch Monday” podcast, related video; write for @CSO_Australia; lock in week’s plan; clear comms backlog; solve mystery.

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I do believe that @charltonbrooker has got it right about “sharing” being all out of whack. arseh.at/rvu

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Monday. This is how it begins, you know. And then it’s all downhill from here.

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My typing is going to shit. And I was being misunderstood quite a bit already. I think I’ll turn off the internet now.

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@benrhughes I made no such comparison. I did ridicule those who equate state with as “police state” and yet happily go for the bling.

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@DownloadABC And if you have the “share” buttons in your site, that still lets Facebook etc users tell their friends.

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@DownloadABC Um, but, if they are on the internet they can reach the ABC website if they want. There’s nothing stopping them.

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@benrhughes Oh I never said anything even remotely like “evil corporations” as an undifferentiated mass of bad. How fucking dare you!

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@DownloadABC Do you really want participation from people so lazy and stupid they can’t click to your website? Jesus, that’ll be good!

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@DownloadABC Twitter has a far more transparent privacy model (on/off) but it’s only a matter of degree. Why do people need “options”?

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Banging my head against the desk until it bleeds. “OMFG they surveil us! Evil police state! OH LOOK FACEBOOK FAN PAGE SIGN UP NOW!”

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@thomasrdotorg But you DO have to be logged in to Facebook to participate in any discussions.

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@benrhughes I can’t fit into one tweet all the swearing I need to express my anger at that worldview. I’ll have to let it slide.

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“Follow at Facebook”, @DownloadABC? To follow a program by my national broadcaster I have to give my life to Zuckerberg? FUCK RIGHT OFF!

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Referring to all this stuff happening right now as part of the “hive mind” is an insult to bees.

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20th century journalism: Build links of trust into community, dig beneath surface. 21 century: Tweet, assume respondents are representative.

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Watching riots as entertainment because there’s nothing better on TV is pretty fuckin’ low, I reckon.

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@kattekrab Thank you, but you should perhaps thank CBS Interactive for deciding to fund the coverage. They made it possible.

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New blog post: “Weekly Wrap 86: Linux, paranoia and a few rants” arseh.at/ru7

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New blog post: “My complete Linux.conf.au 2012 coverage” arseh.at/ru6

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Sun plan, unordered: Produce “Patch Monday” podcast; 2 x blog posts; plan next week; Wentworth Falls errands; remainder ad lib.

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@merejames @carolduncan @NewtonMark I think you people are just a bit sick and should be given therapy of some sort.

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RT @merejames: Your new pic looks like a sextoy. [Well at least SOMETHING is going to plan.]

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Things are said in public for a reason. Hello, Sunday.

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@R_Chirgwin I’m starting to think someone’s new Android is jinxed.

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@R_Chirgwin Which telco is the one that has problems at Bunjaree Cottages? Optus or Vodafone?

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New blog post: “Talking digital downtime on Sydney @Radio2UE”, with today’s audio. arseh.at/rqy

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@R_Chirgwin At 1900 we had 48.0V on the battery, so we’re going for as much generator time as we’ll get from the petrol I didn’t spill.

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@fellowpassenger I think your dislike of commercial radio led you to miss my point. I was merely remember this joy of fast-changing plans.

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OK, so on @Radio2UE we stayed with the theme of “Kids are on the phone too much, take away their phones overnight”. Live radio is a hoot.

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On hold for @Radio2UE to talk trolls. Listen at 2ue.com.au or arseh.at/rnl Or don’t if you don’t want to. That’s Freedom, right there.

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Bumped by golf news? Let’s see…

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Wondering how I can talk about Goatse on @Radio2UE. I’m guess the answer is “not at all”.

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@TunaCrust Well, I was just supplementing the usual-suspect Googled examples with something personal and wonderful. No sense of irony, me.

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The good folks at @Radio2UE will need some examples of classic / recent trolls. Got any suggestions, Lazy Interwebs?

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At 1530 AEDT (in 15 mins) I’m talking internet trolls on Sydney @Radio2UE. Listen at 2ue.com.au or arseh.at/rnl

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“Updating your firmware may take some time depending your internet connection and bandwidth.” “May”? “Will” take time, D-Link. BUT HOW MUCH?

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Experiencing the continuing tradition of bullshit that is the IT industry’s understanding of “easy installation”.

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NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO INSTALL A JAVA RUNTIME YOU EVIL GODDAM PIECE OF SOFTWARE!

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@elronxenu The lamb is an old favourite but I’ve chosen another.

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Sat plan: Rest, mostly, but at 1530 AEDT I’m talking about internet trolling on @Radio2UE.

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Oh dear. This avatar is no longer appropriate. What next?

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Hello, Saturday, with added gentle rain.

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RT @adm_76: Crowd source your funding? Isn’t that what the cool kids do? [Oh yeah, shit, I forgot that. I AM LIVING YOUR FUTURE!]

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So, who’s paying for me to go to the RSA Security conference in San Francisco this year? (Hey, it’s worth a shot…)

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Again, though, thanks for all those suggestions. I have to wrap some other things today but I’ll write ‘em up as soon as I can.

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The non-technical audience I sitting next to me says “What’s HTML”?”, @gedulous, so no, that’s a fail for you.

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Also, some of you megageeks have a really weird fuckin’ idea of what “non-technical” means.

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Wow. Far more answers that I expected, and slightly less platform ideological arsehattery. Thanks, I’ll put them into a blog post soon.

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Dear Twitterverse, what are the key differences, really, between Internet Explorer and Firefox? For a non-technical audience.

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@R_Chirgwin Battery was at 48.8V, decided we needed 3 hours of generator. It purrs.

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Now he’s inventing completely new and different things to complain about.

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“All these people today saying they work hard, well, I used to work in the mines.” As an ass, is my guess.

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Complaining about all the things, he is.

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Driver of this rail-replacement bus is from Melbourne.”No-one wants to work. We’re a nation of bludgers.”

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RT @goashley Who the hell is still using Netscape Navigator on our damned Intranet? [The lying malware infection?]

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@adm_76 No, I meant the morons who take fifteen minutes to but a ticket.

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@adm_76 But is that a fair trade-off? Perhaps it is. These people ARE annoying.

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@R_Chirgwin Yes, yes… high-level description only.

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RT @jamezpolley I am an EFTPOS-only ticket machine. If you would like to use eftpos, please press this button. [This also.]

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Concepts what defeat people: Remembering where you’re going. The alphabet. Remembering that you have to pay. Clue.

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CITYRAIL TICKET MACHINES THEY ARE A COMPLETE MYSTARY!

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Mobile: Check out; walk to Sydney Central station; 1109 train (and some bus) to Wentworth Falls; shopping; Bunjaree Cottages; collapse.

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Thanks, @ms_mary_mac , that would’ve given me a clue too. But yes, @xrobau, you are SO helpful. Elephant stamp.

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Thank you, @sandy_drew, that certainly looks like the spot. arseh.at/rg0 Much appreciated. You travel this route?

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@tweettomnow I’m not sure that it works that way. Mind you, I’m not sure of anything any more.

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That’d be right. The only messages I get on certain, um, gentlemen’s liaison websites are from fuckin’ romance scammers’ fictionfolk.

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Can anyone familiar with the Melbourne-Ballarat rail journey tell me where, precisely, I took this photo? flic.kr/p/bj2cmt

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New blog post, hideously late: “Weekly Wrap 85: Trains, planes, Linux and podcasts” arseh.at/rf7

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@mrda_ I thought your photos were rather good, and certainly better than my random snapshots.

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For your convenience, all my coverage from Linux.conf.au has been listed at arseh.at/rer

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@ataraxite Fear not, I have a relaxing day planned for Saturday. Apart from a 15-minute radio spot. Does that count?

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Well, @drueyjay @sylmobile @JuliusFlywheel, I’ve just introduced them to the concept of email. By email. Oh wait.

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How quaint. To register as freelance journo for next week’s maritime trade show I need “colour scans” of my websites. bit.ly/yzNy63

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Fri plan: Much tidying of comms and “paperwork”; migrate back to Wentworth Falls; plan next week; catch up on writing and blog posts; TGIF.

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@bernietb Just possibly that was the moment you sealed your fate.

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Hello, Friday, which is not quite a work day but then you knew that already you lazy bastards.

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@Nate_Mowbray It’s buses after 1900 tonight, yes, but then all tomorrow. So tomorrow is when I go. Sigh.

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Excellent. Solar power is in order. I shall stay in Sydney today and do SFA, and head to Wentworth Falls tomorrow. There is no plan.

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@drueyjay Thanks for that, but alas it all depends on the status of the solar power system, which @R_Chirgwin will tell me about at 1000.

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“Buses will replace trains between … Blacktown and Lithgow on the Blue Mountains Line.” Oh poo. HT @oberonsghost

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@sylmobile Nah the good-wielders will be doing Blue Mountains and beyond to Sydney. I’ll be going the other way.

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Oh oops, @sroc, that’s all meant the be Thu plan, as today is Thu, even though it feels like Sat. I am an arsehat.

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Sat plan: Still flexible, deciding at 1000 whether to head to Wenworth Falls today or tomorrow.

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Wow. Sleep. And it’s what? Thursday?

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New blog post: “Weeky Wrap 84: Rosellas, cyberwar and lots of radio”, covering 9 to 15 Jan. bit.ly/xrmayh

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New blog post: “Talking SOPA on Adelaide radio 1395 FIVEaa”, audio from 18 Jan. bit.ly/xsodrB

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@sgentle And happy thing to you too. I think the chest hair problem can be overcome with MOAR LYCRA.

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The kangaroo-esque dance moves accompanying the “musica discothequa” are particularly special.

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Also, @ApostrophePong’s contribution from 2011 was quite a bit special. bit.ly/yOO0qh

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Avatar courtesy of @ApostrophePong’s contributions to Australian culture. bit.ly/4qE5Mg Later, @SnarkyPlatypus will sing.

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Inproving all the things, until the sleeping pill kicks in.

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@NOH8ER @benpobjie True, it’s better when I’m just recommending shooting people in the stomach.

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@jonoabroad They were had noodles, too many of them, and what even is hoi sin sauce anyway?

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RT @benpobjie If you kill a platypus you will become a god [Well, I’ve been tempted…]

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@chrisjrn You should possibly join @jeamland at this point.

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Pho done, no thanks to your bad puns. Back at the hotel, pondering how long I’ll be awake now given my idiotic consumption of carbs.

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Surprised at the number if people who’ve had to work late today.

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@jeamland I’ll get your coat now, shall I?

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@SuperRoach Bugger. I can’t fix typos, they don’t trust us freelancers with access to the CMS. I mean, anything could happen.

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Escaping certain death, and replacing it with pho.

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Popping up to the Civic for whatever this drinks thing is called, to exchange some unfettered ideas. /cc @BernardKeane

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@engochick To answer your question from earlier today, this IS an election year in Queensland. March, IIRC.

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@juhasaarinen All good business ideas are prefixed with “Mega-“, we shouldn’t have to point that out.

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@jonoabroad No, they generally don’t let me into the same room as the sub-editors. And vice versa, I trust.

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I have no idea, @juhasaarinen, but “vile sock puppetry of the privates” is a glorious concept. I think.

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@neerav Thank you. I guess it’s not a bad afternoon’s work, though of course much thinking beforehand for that one. Appreciated.

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When you agree with every sub-editing decision inflicted upon your story except for one little semi-colon, life’s good.

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@juhasaarinen To put that into context, I think that only about 15% of my brain is working now, and half of that is trying to find socks.

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@juhasaarinen What the fuck are you on about, you madman?

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@intrepidfear Thank you. It’s nice to know that the little sparks I try to put into my writing survive the journey, at least sometimes.

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@BernardKeane I’ll pop up for a swift half, as it were, shortly. Alas, I’m on a short-leash budget tonight.

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BigfootLarry Is ‘procrasturbation’ a thing? Do people use that word? Please don’t steal my idea

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:39 PM, Jan 25th, 2012 via TweetDeck)

So, all in all, another day of me winning friends.

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Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Hacked or not, Ludlam’s a target of spies” bit.ly/yWQoLB /cc @BernardKeane

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I suspect I haven’t quite got the hang of this “build rapport with audience” thing.

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This media shit is hard work.

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SCROLL BACK YOU LAZY SOD.

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My selection of Linux.conf.au 2012 photos at @zdnetaustralia. bit.ly/xWiFO1

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RT @NewtonMark: “[Should this sentence go?]” Nah, it’s ok where it is. [Oh that’s good. Given that, um, it does seem to have stayed there.]

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Fark! Just filed the op-ed I’ve been powering through. Breath, walk, wait for the editor to tear it to bits.

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Shut up I am writing.

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Oh. There’s something that’ll turn into an acronym by the end of today.

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Aren’t Americans grown-up enough to say a big, complicated word like “republican”? “GOP” my arse!

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I am writing the story I must file this afternoon. I am writing the story I must file this afternoon. I am writing the story…

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@beneltham Thanks. There’s no way I could write a serious story about quarterly earnings. I’d be suicidal by the end of it.

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@lukehopewell HOW DARE YOU CRITICIFY MY WORK PRACTICEZ I AM A PROFESSONEL WRITER AND STUFFS!

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“2011 Independent Review of the [Australian] Intelligence Community” bit.ly/gmvcC6 HT @BernardKeane, until it’s hessian sack time.

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RT @michaelmeloni: NO. HERE IT IS: youtu.be/ELol1dHjHEE [You’re quite right, Mike. But the video is very, very wrong.] /cc @engochick

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Actually, make it the full nine rounds. And here’s a video. youtu.be/ZCldL3q4u-Q

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Anyone who tweets a headline then the same words again because they’re the lede and it’s all automated should cop six bullets in the gut.

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@lukehopewell Also, please ask your editor to tell you to stop distracting me with videos when I’m on deadline.

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No, @lukehopewell, I think that video youtu.be/iypBTQYnJi4 is more your Microsoft attack turtle. And besides, it’s a tortoise.

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Oh. @crikey_news? The “attack turtles” is meant to link to bit.ly/qHM9m8 but ot 404s, says @jodiem. I confirm that.

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Also, I am pleased that @crikey_news left my final par in that story. As well as the attack turtles.

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Re that @crikey_news piece, I need someone to remind me who first told me about Apple’s secret attack turtles.

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Me at @crikey_news: “Ah, the tech-soap that is Apple will run and run”, with YOUR work and MY snark. bit.ly/zjXaOm

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OH FFS MY TWEETDECK GLOBAL FILTER HAS BEEN RESET I AM BEING EXPOSED TO UNFETTERED IDEAS ON THE INTERNET I AM STARTING TO GET STABBY!

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RT @BernardKeane: Independent review of intelligence community finds everything’s just fine is.gd/82Nv0E don’t you worry about that

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