@MikeStuchbery Oh. You confused me saying that I didn’t know with the idea that I wanted to know. :(
I also spoke about Twitter and censorship with @domknight on the wireless last night. arseh.at/rws
Me at @crikey_news, from yesterday: “The tweets must flow, except when they risk revenue” arseh.at/rx6
@MikeStuchbery I don’t know what “Fringe” is, so I’ll assume it’s the endless Nazi-ruled dimensions. At least the uniforms are nice.
All these parallel universes are really starting to shit me. Hugh Everett, you’ve a lot to answer for!
Time to collapse. Something about burning the candle at both ends and/or a dildo. Confused? Ask @elronxenu. Thud.
New blog post: “Talking Twitter and censorship on ABC Local Radio”, with tonight’s audio. arseh.at/rws
And the radio is done! Thank you @domknight, thank you @702sydney, thank you linersmen, thank you ball boys.
On hold for @domknight at ABC @702sydney and around NSW. Listen at arseh.at/rwo
RT @peter_tonoli: FBI to monitor Facebook, Twitter, Myspace arseh.at/rwl [Erm, they’re not already? That strikes me as odd.]
@courteneyh I’m currently revising my bio with a “what people said” page. May I include “You’ll always be the dildo dude to me”?
@miss_shiny The avatar is indeed an amethyst. /cc @courteneyh @mwyres @PointZeroOne (and others Twitter may have forgotten to transmit)
I’m on ABC @702sydney and NSW local radio at 2120 talking Twitter and censorship with @domknight. Listen at arseh.at/qbh
You are far from the first person to suggest my current avatar looks like a dildo or vibrator, @courteneyh, BUT IT IS NOT!
@ddowza And since you’re working at a media organisation now, I am compelled to tell you that “a lot” is two words.
@courteneyh Have you hear of Wikipedia? Apparently it’s on the internet somewhere. The kids love it, apparently.
@ddowza @NewtonMark Hmmm. Spambot traffic or even a DDoD wouldn’t cause the home page to flip between versions. /cc @crikey_news
Hmmm… My @crikey_news piece is now listed on the home page as part of the current newsletter, but it clicks through to a 404.
As promised, here’s the wider view over the valley tonight. flic.kr/p/bkRBy6 Ping @R_Chirgwin
@en_gy Sorry to disappoint, but this time @SnarkyPlatypus’ bloodshed and mine are not connected.
@onecuckoosnest @REDV6 @oberonsghost @sylmobile Thank you. Another photo coming momentarily.
Still bleeding from crashing barefoot through the undergrowth, but glad I grabbed this image. flic.kr/p/bkR6oB Ping @R_Chirgwin
@AndrewPStreet Christ, that @domknight bloke has just anyone on his program, doesn’t he! I blame Creeping Sharia.
A sudden, brief evening shower of rain brings a very different mood to the mountains.
@BernardKeane @BernardKeane Well YOUR new content may be up at @crikey_news, but we’re not all so lucky.
If it helps, I’m talking about Twitter and censorship with @domknight on ABC Local Radio at 2120 tonight. I’m opening the wine now.
What does it mean when your farts smell of eggs?
@SnarkyPlatypus Blood from carpet? A women who cleaned up crime scenes told me “A Stanley knife. Cut out that bit of carpet and replace it.”
Hmmm… Things seem to be a little broken at @crikey_news right now, so I can’t pimp the thing I wrote there.
So I step away from the internet oh so briefly and when I return @mpesce @sylmobile @MikeStuchbery are discussing selfish sphincters. See?
You know that thing I said yesterday that I really should write down so I remember it? Me neither.
@fat_asian Nope, not a dildo. It’s a small amethyst crystal. And, before you ask, I never explain my choice of Twitter avatars.
@fat_asian Ah before I answer that, I’ll ask you what you think it is.
No, @jeamland, this recipe youtu.be/S7GGkKpBR-g would not help. Sigh.
@fat_asian You’ve lost me, sorry. I don’t understand your question. “dp”?
Thanks for your advice and/or sympathy, @Wyld @purserj @Pelican1, but fortunately I seem to have found the video recipe I need.
So, here I am once more in the confused mess that is video formats. With luck, I’ll have sorted this by Christmas.
@GhostSwirv I haven’t read any of Mr Gaiman’s work, but if that’s his style I’m happy with that.
Patch Monday podcast: “Skipping security is human nature”, with bonus diagram. arseh.at/rw0
Dear Twitterverse, just because RTd or agreed with one thing you said doesn’t mean I agree with the entire rest of your fucked-up worldview.
Oh. In case you haven’t guessed, I’ve filed the late-request @crikey_news piece and I’m taking a break before my next media blockbuster.
@ddowza Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Add the occasional literary reference so people think you’re intelligent and you’re done.
@ddowza Oh, I would never descend into that left-wing right-wing arsehattery. Mine is a far higher quality of crap analysis.
RT @JohnBirmingham: @John_Hanna i dont mind hitting the paywall. it reminds me I cant be fucked reading the thing anyway. [Hurrah!]
RT @johnemcintyre: Got “indefatigably” into a headline. Score. [At least somebody’s day is going well.]
Somehow this thing I am writing for @crikey_news namechecks both Frank Herbert and Ayn Rand. Today is just weird.
RT @simonswatman: Unless you’re a weirdo with a thing for bird shit, always push a Heron through a letterbox tail first. HT @charltonbrooker
“Patch Monday” podcast filed. Morning rearranged to make everything fit. Mood adjusted by slaughtering several endangered species.
@izevaka My sincere apologies if any of my tweets fail to meet your standards for in-depth analysis. Also, go fuck yourself.
Switching into studio mode. Quiet please. I’ll be done by around 1030, I’d say.
@DownloadABC Sorry for how I expressed by point last night, but I worry the ABC lacks the confidence to turn down being Zuckerberg’s bitch.
@izevaka Personally I find that reducing criticisms to “hating” and then labelling the critics “haters” to be rather shallow, don’t you?
Please that my old AIR-based TweetDeck suddenly decide to start working again. Displeased at the things it’s revealing.
Mon plan: Complete “Patch Monday” podcast, related video; write for @CSO_Australia; lock in week’s plan; clear comms backlog; solve mystery.
I do believe that @charltonbrooker has got it right about “sharing” being all out of whack. arseh.at/rvu
Confused.
Monday. This is how it begins, you know. And then it’s all downhill from here.
My typing is going to shit. And I was being misunderstood quite a bit already. I think I’ll turn off the internet now.
@benrhughes I made no such comparison. I did ridicule those who equate state with as “police state” and yet happily go for the bling.
@DownloadABC And if you have the “share” buttons in your site, that still lets Facebook etc users tell their friends.
@DownloadABC Um, but, if they are on the internet they can reach the ABC website if they want. There’s nothing stopping them.
@benrhughes Oh I never said anything even remotely like “evil corporations” as an undifferentiated mass of bad. How fucking dare you!
@DownloadABC Do you really want participation from people so lazy and stupid they can’t click to your website? Jesus, that’ll be good!
@DownloadABC Twitter has a far more transparent privacy model (on/off) but it’s only a matter of degree. Why do people need “options”?
Banging my head against the desk until it bleeds. “OMFG they surveil us! Evil police state! OH LOOK FACEBOOK FAN PAGE SIGN UP NOW!”
@thomasrdotorg But you DO have to be logged in to Facebook to participate in any discussions.
@benrhughes I can’t fit into one tweet all the swearing I need to express my anger at that worldview. I’ll have to let it slide.
“Follow at Facebook”, @DownloadABC? To follow a program by my national broadcaster I have to give my life to Zuckerberg? FUCK RIGHT OFF!
Referring to all this stuff happening right now as part of the “hive mind” is an insult to bees.
20th century journalism: Build links of trust into community, dig beneath surface. 21 century: Tweet, assume respondents are representative.
Watching riots as entertainment because there’s nothing better on TV is pretty fuckin’ low, I reckon.
@kattekrab Thank you, but you should perhaps thank CBS Interactive for deciding to fund the #lca2012 coverage. They made it possible.
New blog post: “Weekly Wrap 86: Linux, paranoia and a few rants” arseh.at/ru7
New blog post: “My complete Linux.conf.au 2012 coverage” arseh.at/ru6 #lca2012
Sun plan, unordered: Produce “Patch Monday” podcast; 2 x blog posts; plan next week; Wentworth Falls errands; remainder ad lib.
@merejames @carolduncan @NewtonMark I think you people are just a bit sick and should be given therapy of some sort.
RT @merejames: Your new pic looks like a sextoy. [Well at least SOMETHING is going to plan.]
Things are said in public for a reason. Hello, Sunday.
@R_Chirgwin I’m starting to think someone’s new Android is jinxed.
@R_Chirgwin Which telco is the one that has problems at Bunjaree Cottages? Optus or Vodafone?
New blog post: “Talking digital downtime on Sydney @Radio2UE”, with today’s audio. arseh.at/rqy
@R_Chirgwin At 1900 we had 48.0V on the battery, so we’re going for as much generator time as we’ll get from the petrol I didn’t spill.
@fellowpassenger I think your dislike of commercial radio led you to miss my point. I was merely remember this joy of fast-changing plans.
OK, so on @Radio2UE we stayed with the theme of “Kids are on the phone too much, take away their phones overnight”. Live radio is a hoot.
On hold for @Radio2UE to talk trolls. Listen at 2ue.com.au or arseh.at/rnl Or don’t if you don’t want to. That’s Freedom, right there.
Bumped by golf news? Let’s see…
Wondering how I can talk about Goatse on @Radio2UE. I’m guess the answer is “not at all”.
@TunaCrust Well, I was just supplementing the usual-suspect Googled examples with something personal and wonderful. No sense of irony, me.
The good folks at @Radio2UE will need some examples of classic / recent trolls. Got any suggestions, Lazy Interwebs?
At 1530 AEDT (in 15 mins) I’m talking internet trolls on Sydney @Radio2UE. Listen at 2ue.com.au or arseh.at/rnl
“Updating your firmware may take some time depending your internet connection and bandwidth.” “May”? “Will” take time, D-Link. BUT HOW MUCH?
Experiencing the continuing tradition of bullshit that is the IT industry’s understanding of “easy installation”.
NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO INSTALL A JAVA RUNTIME YOU EVIL GODDAM PIECE OF SOFTWARE!
@elronxenu The lamb is an old favourite but I’ve chosen another.
Sat plan: Rest, mostly, but at 1530 AEDT I’m talking about internet trolling on @Radio2UE.
Oh dear. This avatar is no longer appropriate. What next?
Hello, Saturday, with added gentle rain.
RT @adm_76: Crowd source your funding? Isn’t that what the cool kids do? [Oh yeah, shit, I forgot that. I AM LIVING YOUR FUTURE!]
So, who’s paying for me to go to the RSA Security conference in San Francisco this year? (Hey, it’s worth a shot…)
Again, though, thanks for all those suggestions. I have to wrap some other things today but I’ll write ‘em up as soon as I can.
The non-technical audience I sitting next to me says “What’s HTML”?”, @gedulous, so no, that’s a #NonTechieEnough fail for you.
Also, some of you megageeks have a really weird fuckin’ idea of what “non-technical” means.
Wow. Far more answers that I expected, and slightly less platform ideological arsehattery. Thanks, I’ll put them into a blog post soon.
Dear Twitterverse, what are the key differences, really, between Internet Explorer and Firefox? For a non-technical audience.
@R_Chirgwin Battery was at 48.8V, decided we needed 3 hours of generator. It purrs.
Now he’s inventing completely new and different things to complain about.
“All these people today saying they work hard, well, I used to work in the mines.” As an ass, is my guess.
Complaining about all the things, he is.
Driver of this rail-replacement bus is from Melbourne.”No-one wants to work. We’re a nation of bludgers.”
RT @goashley Who the hell is still using Netscape Navigator on our damned Intranet? [The lying malware infection?]
@adm_76 No, I meant the morons who take fifteen minutes to but a ticket.
@adm_76 But is that a fair trade-off? Perhaps it is. These people ARE annoying.
@R_Chirgwin Yes, yes… high-level description only.
RT @jamezpolley I am an EFTPOS-only ticket machine. If you would like to use eftpos, please press this button. [This also.]
Concepts what defeat people: Remembering where you’re going. The alphabet. Remembering that you have to pay. Clue.
CITYRAIL TICKET MACHINES THEY ARE A COMPLETE MYSTARY!
Mobile: Check out; walk to Sydney Central station; 1109 train (and some bus) to Wentworth Falls; shopping; Bunjaree Cottages; collapse.
Thanks, @ms_mary_mac , that would’ve given me a clue too. But yes, @xrobau, you are SO helpful. Elephant stamp.
Thank you, @sandy_drew, that certainly looks like the spot. arseh.at/rg0 Much appreciated. You travel this route?
@tweettomnow I’m not sure that it works that way. Mind you, I’m not sure of anything any more.
That’d be right. The only messages I get on certain, um, gentlemen’s liaison websites are from fuckin’ romance scammers’ fictionfolk.
Can anyone familiar with the Melbourne-Ballarat rail journey tell me where, precisely, I took this photo? flic.kr/p/bj2cmt
New blog post, hideously late: “Weekly Wrap 85: Trains, planes, Linux and podcasts” arseh.at/rf7
@mrda_ I thought your #lca2012 photos were rather good, and certainly better than my random snapshots.
For your convenience, all my coverage from Linux.conf.au has been listed at arseh.at/rer #lca2012
@ataraxite Fear not, I have a relaxing day planned for Saturday. Apart from a 15-minute radio spot. Does that count?
Well, @drueyjay @sylmobile @JuliusFlywheel, I’ve just introduced them to the concept of email. By email. Oh wait.
How quaint. To register as freelance journo for next week’s maritime trade show I need “colour scans” of my websites. bit.ly/yzNy63
Fri plan: Much tidying of comms and “paperwork”; migrate back to Wentworth Falls; plan next week; catch up on writing and blog posts; TGIF.
@bernietb Just possibly that was the moment you sealed your fate.
Hello, Friday, which is not quite a work day but then you knew that already you lazy bastards.
@Nate_Mowbray It’s buses after 1900 tonight, yes, but then all tomorrow. So tomorrow is when I go. Sigh.
Excellent. Solar power is in order. I shall stay in Sydney today and do SFA, and head to Wentworth Falls tomorrow. There is no plan.
@drueyjay Thanks for that, but alas it all depends on the status of the solar power system, which @R_Chirgwin will tell me about at 1000.
“Buses will replace trains between … Blacktown and Lithgow on the Blue Mountains Line.” Oh poo. HT @oberonsghost
@sylmobile Nah the good-wielders will be doing Blue Mountains and beyond to Sydney. I’ll be going the other way.
Oh oops, @sroc, that’s all meant the be Thu plan, as today is Thu, even though it feels like Sat. I am an arsehat.
Sat plan: Still flexible, deciding at 1000 whether to head to Wenworth Falls today or tomorrow.
Wow. Sleep. And it’s what? Thursday?
New blog post: “Weeky Wrap 84: Rosellas, cyberwar and lots of radio”, covering 9 to 15 Jan. bit.ly/xrmayh
New blog post: “Talking SOPA on Adelaide radio 1395 FIVEaa”, audio from 18 Jan. bit.ly/xsodrB
@sgentle And happy thing to you too. I think the chest hair problem can be overcome with MOAR LYCRA.
The kangaroo-esque dance moves accompanying the “musica discothequa” are particularly special.
Also, @ApostrophePong’s contribution from 2011 was quite a bit special. bit.ly/yOO0qh
Avatar courtesy of @ApostrophePong’s contributions to Australian culture. bit.ly/4qE5Mg Later, @SnarkyPlatypus will sing.
Inproving all the things, until the sleeping pill kicks in.
@jonoabroad They were had noodles, too many of them, and what even is hoi sin sauce anyway?
RT @benpobjie If you kill a platypus you will become a god #australianfacts [Well, I’ve been tempted…]
Pho done, no thanks to your bad puns. Back at the hotel, pondering how long I’ll be awake now given my idiotic consumption of carbs.
Surprised at the number if people who’ve had to work late today.
@jeamland I’ll get your coat now, shall I?
@SuperRoach Bugger. I can’t fix typos, they don’t trust us freelancers with access to the CMS. I mean, anything could happen.
Escaping certain death, and replacing it with pho.
Popping up to the Civic for whatever this drinks thing is called, to exchange some unfettered ideas. /cc @BernardKeane
@engochick To answer your question from earlier today, this IS an election year in Queensland. March, IIRC.
@juhasaarinen All good business ideas are prefixed with “Mega-“, we shouldn’t have to point that out.
@jonoabroad No, they generally don’t let me into the same room as the sub-editors. And vice versa, I trust.
I have no idea, @juhasaarinen, but “vile sock puppetry of the privates” is a glorious concept. I think.
@neerav Thank you. I guess it’s not a bad afternoon’s work, though of course much thinking beforehand for that one. Appreciated.
When you agree with every sub-editing decision inflicted upon your story except for one little semi-colon, life’s good.
@piawaugh @chrisjrn Ah well, the images are all over at bit.ly/zalBVo now. #lca2012
@juhasaarinen To put that into context, I think that only about 15% of my brain is working now, and half of that is trying to find socks.
@juhasaarinen What the fuck are you on about, you madman?
@intrepidfear Thank you. It’s nice to know that the little sparks I try to put into my writing survive the journey, at least sometimes.
@BernardKeane I’ll pop up for a swift half, as it were, shortly. Alas, I’m on a short-leash budget tonight.
BigfootLarry Is ‘procrasturbation’ a thing? Do people use that word? Please don’t steal my idea
So, all in all, another day of me winning friends.
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Hacked or not, Ludlam’s a target of spies” bit.ly/yWQoLB /cc @BernardKeane
I suspect I haven’t quite got the hang of this “build rapport with audience” thing.
This media shit is hard work.
SCROLL BACK YOU LAZY SOD.
@chrisjrn Sadly, @zdnetaustralia did not use that bad pun. #lca2012 #groan
My selection of Linux.conf.au 2012 photos at @zdnetaustralia. bit.ly/xWiFO1 #lca2012
RT @NewtonMark: “[Should this sentence go?]” Nah, it’s ok where it is. [Oh that’s good. Given that, um, it does seem to have stayed there.]
Fark! Just filed the op-ed I’ve been powering through. Breath, walk, wait for the editor to tear it to bits.
Quack.
Shut up I am writing.
Oh. There’s something that’ll turn into an acronym by the end of today.
Aren’t Americans grown-up enough to say a big, complicated word like “republican”? “GOP” my arse!
I am writing the story I must file this afternoon. I am writing the story I must file this afternoon. I am writing the story…
@beneltham Thanks. There’s no way I could write a serious story about quarterly earnings. I’d be suicidal by the end of it.
@lukehopewell HOW DARE YOU CRITICIFY MY WORK PRACTICEZ I AM A PROFESSONEL WRITER AND STUFFS!
“2011 Independent Review of the [Australian] Intelligence Community” bit.ly/gmvcC6 HT @BernardKeane, until it’s hessian sack time.
RT @michaelmeloni: NO. HERE IT IS: youtu.be/ELol1dHjHEE [You’re quite right, Mike. But the video is very, very wrong.] /cc @engochick
Actually, make it the full nine rounds. And here’s a video. youtu.be/ZCldL3q4u-Q
Anyone who tweets a headline then the same words again because they’re the lede and it’s all automated should cop six bullets in the gut.
@lukehopewell Also, please ask your editor to tell you to stop distracting me with videos when I’m on deadline.
No, @lukehopewell, I think that video youtu.be/iypBTQYnJi4 is more your Microsoft attack turtle. And besides, it’s a tortoise.
Oh. @crikey_news? The “attack turtles” is meant to link to bit.ly/qHM9m8 but ot 404s, says @jodiem. I confirm that.
Also, I am pleased that @crikey_news left my final par in that story. As well as the attack turtles.
Re that @crikey_news piece, I need someone to remind me who first told me about Apple’s secret attack turtles.
Me at @crikey_news: “Ah, the tech-soap that is Apple will run and run”, with YOUR work and MY snark. bit.ly/zjXaOm
OH FFS MY TWEETDECK GLOBAL FILTER HAS BEEN RESET I AM BEING EXPOSED TO UNFETTERED IDEAS ON THE INTERNET I AM STARTING TO GET STABBY!
RT @BernardKeane: Independent review of intelligence community finds everything’s just fine is.gd/82Nv0E don’t you worry about that