Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

February 2012

I’ll interact with the universe again tomorrow, methinks.

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Maybe that’s not right.

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ตับหวานแก้แค้น

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Back at the hotel.

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Kidnapped for food.

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R_Chirgwin Of course, getting excited over Stratfor’s assertions is forgetting that they were lobotomised turkeys with paper bags over their heads.

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@unsungsongs @SawHole Uhoh. Oops. I shall return to this topic later.

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The hashtag for this event is and we’re about to start.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Oh my initial presentation contains plenty of snark, fear not.

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@unsungsongs I found your face peeing at me out of the @JetstarAirways in-flight magazine this week. It was most unnerving.

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We’re waiting for @Ausflatfish to make his way thru Sydney’s rain-chaotified traffic, and then we’ll start the forum.

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“The filth and the fury (and the catfood): Stratfor talks WikiLeaks” by @BernardKeane is rather readworthy. arseh.at/sy6

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Ah, AM radio! Referring to a certain Olympic athlete as “that blokey sheila”. Stay classy.

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I’ve found my socks. You can stop looking, thanks.

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I was thinking of Clive Palmer rather than Gerry Harvey, @trib, but they’re of a mold. I’ll give them “trickle down” with a broom handle.

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@caseyjohnellis Thank you. I find it hard to get my head around the layout when everything has “tech” and “innovation” on the title.

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Dear Billionaires, how about a little less “Help! I seriously need EVEN MOAR MONEYZ!” and a bit more “How can fortunate me help you?”

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I’ll be heading to Redfern shortly for the panel. arseh.at/spo Not entirely sure which buillding it’s in but geography.

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I walked they Sussex St only an hour ago. There were no
” death squads”. Stop lying to me.

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How do you wipe a floor with a mattress?

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I’m finding it’s far easier to assume that everyone else is on a different, and wrong, drug regime.

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@michaelmeloni Yeah, but I haven’t run out of tissues.

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@Kimota Air-quotes is not a defence against having said “engage”.

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Today we are all Rabbits of Action.

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RT @wiredjazz: Just saw a girl with a “no raptors” shirt on… Is there a pro-raptor agenda I’m unaware of?

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DavidalBarron “If rape, bestiality and incest are incidental plot points, then that content might be allowable.” PayPal’s ‘Game of Thrones’ loophole.

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And that’s precisely it, @AbrasiveTeapot. Though of course NPR has chosen precisely that photo to illustrate the story.

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MT @AbrasiveTeapot: What’s scary… I picked the guy on the left as the republican before I’d even read the caption (why? Angry white man)

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“A Nation Divided: Can We [the USA] Agree On Anything?” The photo is remarkable. arseh.at/sxy

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There. Shall. Be. No. Explanations.

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Oh this is hanging out for a caption contest arseh.at/sxw HT @robcorr

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Yes, shots of tequila in between the beer. [Well obviously, yes.]

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I suspect it’d be a good strategy not to drink beer continuously until then.

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It’s all rather appropriate given I’m speaking at arseh.at/spo tonight. Who’s coming?

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It’s all a bit 3 out of 10 really.

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DTTZD TQYZT KLEIG GSWTI OFRZI TUNDM

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Have you ever felt that half of what happens on Twitter is in some secret code?

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Look, folks, that happens not to be the first image on the internet of two gay marines, trust me.

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So, Stupid Crashy Android Apps, you do check the return value of malloc(), right?

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@ApostrophePong Tub waan and Singha is also an excellent breakfast. Tub waan ped ped maak!

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@fridley @TatteredRemnant Jimmy’s? I’ve had laksa there, and was singularly unimpressed.

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@ApostrophePong ผมคิดว่าจะกินตับของคุณจะเป็นอันตราย

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“It leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, but when ever did Santorum not?” Thank you, Guy Rundle.

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RT @jonathonio: “… and now on The Drum, it’s Chris Berg on drugs” arseh.at/sxp

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I think my standard first question to anyone wanting to discuss the NBN with adults will be “So, how would you summarise Shannon’s Law?”

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@Nicholosophy ตับหวานอร่อยมากๆ!

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Autotune T-pop FTW!

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Also, they are playing the worst, cheesiest T-pop girl band I have ever heard. This place is so full of WIN!

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@TatteredRemnant @fridley I’ve heard The Galleries Victoria has good laksa, but lunch in a windowless cellar does not appeal.

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So if I search Twitter for things of interest it’s research, DHS does it it’s “cyberstalking”? Childish anti-government propaganda FTL.

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@rycrozier @mukimu How Stratfor handled its network then is a different Thing from how they manage their crisis PR now.

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It is 1130 and I shall now head out into a damp Sydney in search of laksa.

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@mukimu @rycrozier Oh I could easily credit such cleverness, seeing budgets and strategies for similar things through history.

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CookSuck how many fucking @PieFaceCafe’s do they need to open as well? who even buys that shit? it’s just a servo where you can’t buy smokes

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@mukimu @rycrozier All that said, a sophisticated PR / disinformation strategy would be more subtle than us amateurs might imagine…

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RT @mukimu: The statement I received from Stratfor, while similar, didn’t mention the forged email and was worked in later. [Theory dented.]

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@rycrozier Except that it was specifically cited by Stratfor as a key element of their PR strategy just hours later. arseh.at/sxm

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So, odds of Stratfor having faked the Friedman resignation email themselves so they could say “See, some emails could be fake”? Uhuh.

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“Euphemism”? I’ll need a diagram…

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I wonder if it’s possible to implant post-hypnotic suggestions via Twitter…

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@en_gy Have you ever imagined, truly imagined, what it would feel like to be knifed to death in a dark, cold, deserted alleyway?

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Laughing at literalists.

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Is it too early to open the minibar no don’t answer that I know what you people will tell me you are not to be trusted with nice things.

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God’s nastiest, nastiest joke of all was making just a few of us smart enough to realise what the fuck was going on.

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I AM A SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE RECOGNISED IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE WHICH IS AN UNPRONOUNCEABLE ACRONYM.

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RT @Saetereie: Every time I see LGBTQI I think LMFAO.

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Facebook reads text messages of smartphone app users. But it’s OK, it was only a little bit, they say. arseh.at/sxh HT @paulwallbank

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Nausea setting in. Caused mostly by supposedly intelligent people imagining that B is suddenly a failure due to imminent C.

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@ortenzi ‘Fraid it is. Last night, as usual, I bought a ticket, charged it to my card, and a train delivered me on time.

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@ortenzi But, more importantly, the idea of writing any of those variants bores the shit out of me. I won’t learn anything new.

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@ortenzi Really? I thought it was messy pricing structure and govt inability to lock down money flow stymies off-the-shelf tech.

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@ortenzi I’m afraid that for me the “investigation” into whether something is a monopoly is neither interesting nor a technology story.

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@joshgnosis Something something female editors something something channeling something Earth Mother something please don’t hit me.

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Wed plan: “Freedom of Information?” panel 6pm tonight arseh.at/smd so prepare for same and have lunch in Sydney CBD somewhere.

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Oh hello, Wednesday.

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Oh. Which Fuckwits of News (FONs™) are misreporting the internet censorship thing this time? Does it start with an “A”?

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Not everything has to be documented, @jeamland @GTRoberts @IanKath @R_Chirgwin @kofeyh

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I was about to turn on the television but suddenly remembered that it’d have television on it.

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I have checked in to my hotel. Air con has not yet caused the room to reach habitable temperature. I may be forced to take drastic action.

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Flouncing is worth -3 charisma points.

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Laughing at arsehats who think that a news article containing facts different from those on their own head must be wrong.

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The word “another” was missing from an earlier tweet, right?

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Touchdown Sydney, taxiing the 40km back to the terminal.

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Transmitters off. See you in Sydney.

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Approaching Gold Coast airport. Cautiously.

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If people ever work out where you work you’re screwed.

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Finally we can escape this miserable swamp! This wretched, miserable, 5-star swamp. Oh.

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Dear Intel, by making these tiny computers possible you are RUINING my chances of getting to fly business class! WHY? WHY?

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@danielstone Hmmm… It was a direct link. Let’s try this one. arseh.at/sx0

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What a difference a single letter can make.

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RT @en_gy: How is @dmflower going today? We are overdue for a Brazilian!

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@danielstone Here’s everything about the Interpol filter. arseh.at/8hn

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RT @techAU: KimDotCom makes an appearance at [It’s just a photograph, Jason, calm down.]

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So, that’s two meals done. And it’s still 90 minutes until lunch how will I survive?

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OH: “No, it’s OK, I’m more than happy to come and tell you how to do your job.”

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OH, A: “No, VoiP is MUCH better than it was five years ago.” B: “Oh, like smallpox then?”

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Would you trust the safety of your family to something with banjo music?

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Whenever they talk about “embracing” their devices I always feel a little dirty.

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ACCC accepts Telstra’s structural separation undertaking [PDF] arseh.at/sws

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People are Discovering that Photographs were Taken last night. Threats are being Issued. Money is Changing Hands.

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I AM GOING TO HAVE BREAKFAST NOW AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

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“Why workplaces must resist the cult of personality testing”, writes some university bloke. arseh.at/swr

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I’ve been reading George Friedman’s “The Next 100 Years” but buggered if I can find the bit that says “Start insider trading scheme”.

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@CassPF Well thank you, but I am not the most important highlight of the event. I’ll just scare people with hacker stories. ;)

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For once it shall have proven sensible to have scheduled writing my brief presentation on the day of the panel itself.

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Tomorrow night’s forum “Freedom of Information?” will be rather topical given WikiLeaks / Anonymous / Stratfor news. arseh.at/smd

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Tue plan: Kickstart Forum arseh.at/sw3 Day 3; 1610 JQ419 OOL-SYD; advance the time; check in Sydney CBD; evening TBA.

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C’est Chewsday.

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RT @tweeveetv: A word cloud of Tweets posted immediately after @Lateline asked Twitter not to swear. yfrog.com/estpqcp

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Je suis back at the hotel.

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Well, the Kickstart wife swapping seems to have begun.

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@Lateline Goodness me, that silly tweet of yours was remarkably ill-judged. Remarkably.

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Room key, not car key. FFS you’re filthy people. FFS!

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Someone had dropped their room key out on the deck.

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OH: “Catholics are just pagans in denial.”

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Remind me to go to Ultimo and kill all of them.

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I should’ve been tagging these tweets but I’m sure you’re all adult enough to join the dots.

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A: “I’m upgrading from fish to chocolate.” B: “Yeah, I think I’ve been to that club.”

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OH: “Look, pedophile jokes are totally appropriate.” Local time 8.20pm.

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OH: “Byron Bay? They eat nuts and berries. Sure, whatever.”

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Beer. Big motorcycles. No sign yet of any food, not even a cashew nut. What can possibly go wrong?

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Donning a hi-viz vest.

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Pondering Azerbaijan…

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RT @paulwallbank Feeling safe and secure to be on a bus with @stilgherrian & 40 other sensible teetotalers ks12 [En route to brewery.]]

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Oh. That’s right now. I’ll have to resume the organisation of my return to Sydney after dinner. Must. Not. Forget.

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RT @susan_m: @stilgherrian front desk, 5.45pm, be there. [See? The system works. Thank you.]

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I am working under the assumption that if I am meant to be somewhere at a particular time that I’ll be told where and when.

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“Information circulating on the internet”! “Information circulating on the internet”! “Information circulating on the internet”!

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So Stratfor, a company set up to provide confidential intelligence services, provided confidential intelligence services? Well fuck me dead!

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Stratfor calls Wikileaks’ release an attack on the company. Oh, you noticed then? arseh.at/swg

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I missed D-Link’s free drinks just now. What a shame. I’m guessing there won’t be any alcohol over dinner tonight at the brewery. Oh.

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BREAKING: Something we reported earlier, well, now that we’ve checked we find that it isn’t actually true.

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“If cloud computing was a vegetable, what vegetable would it be?” Kill @gusworldau now. arseh.at/swb

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So @abcnews had to run an AFP story on WikiLeaks/Stratfor because their own journalists were too busy to rewrite the media release.

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The Stratfor story is best explained by a photograph of random people wearing masks taken from a Warner Brothers movie.

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RT @benrhughes: we need to be able to add [citation needed] to media, a la wikipedia [Pre-fucking-zactly!]

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“Stratfor… has been called a ‘shadow CIA’,” but by WHOM, dear media? Who EVER called them that? You don’t fucking know, do you!

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RT @LaurieOakes: Kevin’s a disloyal psychopath but we honour him. It is a slightly confusing message from the victors.

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Oh here we go…

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“The Moon is made of cheese no matter how you spin it.”

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RT @charltonbrooker: The Oscars wouldn’t seem as glamorous if it was called the Global Piss Awards.

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Something about underpants elastic.

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RT @Tamarajawad: Be nice. RT @stilgherrian So this next session is about something called “cloud”. [That WAS nice!]

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So this next session is about something called “cloud”.

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New “Patch Monday” podcast: “Radiation, nanodiamonds and traffic lights” from @NICTA Techfest arseh.at/swa

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GreenJ the unsettling thing about live TV is the revelation that at moments like these our journalistic cream knows no more than the rest of us.

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Nothing personal.

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I’ve just told Citrix that unless they get rid of “webinar” in GoToWebinar I’ll go to their HQ and put a bullet in everyone’s head.

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@nanopunk Ah yeah that keep happening. I think it’s a cloud thing. On the internet. With stains.

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RT @mjayliebs: Is live tweeting from the stage allowed if not, just let me know. [If it’s good enough for @TurnbullMalcolm…]

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@nanopunk Look, if you can’t be bothered keeping up to date on current events then there’s not a lot I can do for you.

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@dr_nic The bowls of mints are on the side table near Bad Boy Corner.

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@somaking77 This is precisely the reason that I should have been allowed to bring a handgun today. Well, one of the reasons.

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The Future is that men will not shave properly before aimlessly staring out the window.

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“Patch Monday” podcast filed. Just as the first Kickstart session begins. The plan is working.

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THEY HAVE PUT @ABCNews24 ON THE BIG SCREEN AND IT IS A NEW KIND OF HELL MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT FUCKING STOP!

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“Patch Monday” podcast recorded and mixed. I’ll write the accompanying words and file it after breakfast.

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Quite clearly I was calling for all software to be free and any other interpretation would be malicious and ill-informed.

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@jeamland No, no pitchers of Bloody Mary. But I’m sure I could convince room service to provide same.

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“It’s like one of those word puzzles where you alter one letter at a time. Change ‘minibar’ into ‘breakfast’…”

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@bob_bain Yes, the date was changed. I updated my own post on 16/2. I’d strongly recommend not having a go me about that on Monday morning.

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Yes @bob_bain, the forum “Freedom of Information?” is on Wed evening. arseh.at/smd

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I wouldn’t be too concerned, @oberonsghost, everybody is old enough to be @bengrubb’s mother.

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So, this is the best comment I’ve ever got on my website ever. arseh.at/sw4 I am confused and a little excited.

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Dear Kickstarters, I failed to create a Buzzword Bingo word list last night because Dinner. I’m sure you feel much the same.

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Mon plan: Complete “Patch Monday” podcast; big breakfast; Kickstart Forum arseh.at/sw3 all day and into the evening.

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Now, about this Monday thing…

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Photoshop? Bah! I refuse to spend more on software that I would on drugs for a long weekend.

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So these iPads that Adobe is giving away this evening run Flash how, sorry?

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Parody Twitter accounts are the lowest form of wit.

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RT @jeamland: Anyone know if/how you can add bullets to a definition list using CSS? [Browning 9mm?]

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WHERE HAS THE WINE GONE YOU BASTARDS?

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This is an evening of creativity, apparently.

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No, I will not lower my standards for a chance for a chance to win an iPad.

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Has anyone yet pointed out that @juhasaarinen is a cunt?

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@joshgnosis Oh I do love a literary reference.

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“Adobe apps that you have grown to know and love” sorry which ones were they?

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“Cloud”! DRINK!

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The circle has been squared.

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@rudolfwag I don’t need to be asked twice, see you in a moment.

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RT @rudolfwag: Who is up for a cold one? [There are so many good words in that tweet!]

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@suhaskelkar I suspect that plying the tables with alcohol would always be a sensible strategy. /cc @paulwallbank @mjayliebs

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Will alcohol be involved, @purserj? Well, perhaps if a generous vendor wished to sponsor that sort of thing…

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No, @purserj, “they” are not gamifying the conference. I am. Which suddenly makes it acceptable. Right?

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I’m assuming I’ll have to print these bingo cards on paper as I can’t immediately find a cloud service for it.

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‘Viral impact”! DRINK!

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@joshgnosis @gusworldau I shall definitely find some time tonight to make bingo cards then.

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