@SnarkyPlatypus @kcarruthers @purserj Chaos must be maintained.
I was confused, @SnarkyPlatypus @purserj. I thought “a celebratory run of the Iron Lady” sounded vaguely sexual.
Gosh. Monday is the 30th anniversary of the start of the Falklands War. http://t.co/TtdB7cdE
Old blog post with important instructional video, should you like bunnies. http://t.co/4fdFUNjh
@NewtonMark Yes, it is working. Bastard.
Stabbing myself in the face. With the big hand.
RT @sweden: Swedish sheep say ‘Bää’ , what does the sheep in your country say? #thatswhatsheepsaid
As an aside, @NewtonMark is the trolliest troll-faced troll that ever trolled from trolldom.
Networks, docks, sync buttons… If James Cook had tried to follow this sort of advice he’d have never made it to Tahiti.
BTW, that was not a request for technical advice on how to configure hardware and networks to tell the time.
I am receiving tweets indicating that people have forgotten how to work alarm clocks.
Why all this speculation over whether iPhones will auto-change at the end of Daylight Saving? Wait four hours and you’ll know.
I’d like to congratulate @QPSmedia once more for bringing some much-needed lightheartedness to their less serious police information.
RT @NanoPunk: FUUUUUU Roosters. Going around, messing up my tips. Pricks. [#notaeuphemism, see also https://t.co/M65y6v8b I think.]
@michaelneale @R_Chirgwin (You shouldn’t try to bluff me on the law relating to SEKRIT video cameras. Um, allegedly.)
@michaelneale @R_Chirgwin Wrong law. See “protected info” definition s44. Try NSW Surveillance Devices Act 2007 sect 8. http://t.co/xBcsEbEe
@R_Chirgwin Tea Tree Cottage isn’t for sweet old ladies! It’s for hot young couples bonking the weekend away! Evict them now!
@saline I know, Ma’am, but as we know, nothing can beat the power of a 32-page advertising supplement. Well, once upon a time…
@timwattsau @R_Chirgwin If you like, I’ll head down to the cottages with a stick and make sure they turn back on our solar-powered lighting?
RT @sylmobile: RT @rodsyd: Adolf Hipster. http://t.co/qgA84KIK [But check http://t.co/JJwcArfc for “relevant” comments.]
Oh. That’s two tweets mentioning Fairfax. One must have “balance”. So what next? Two about Murdochland and then slag of some random indies?
David Salter on the history of #EarthHour, a Fairfax promotional campaign. http://t.co/m9XPtr5E
Next to the phrase “Fairfax’s long-serving relationship columnist” is a name I’ve never consciously seen before. Unconcerned.
RT @mikko: It’s March 31st and the internet is running just fine. As expected, no signs whatsoever of #OpBlackout. #DNS [@mikko jinxes it.]
RT @evilsnoofy: Dear Arnotts, there is seriously nowhere enough red and green bits on the top of BBQ shapes these days. Lift your game.
A quiet evening reading and slothing for me. Exhausted after the last few days. I may well tweet what I’m reading to show my lameness.
@jkerrison That’s close to blame-the-user. Where has industry spelled it out in simple language? @abcmarkscott @BernardKeane @jilliancyork
Noticing all the bruises.
RT @jplonie: mouthing off at the pub after 8 pints isn’t a speaking engagement.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: @stilgherrian Statement and not question. [That’s correct, yes.]
Hmmm… That’s three speaking engagements in the next two months. I’m really becoming one of those tossers, aren’t I…
RT Sydney Writers Festival. “iSpy”: privacy and total surveillance. Me in conversation with @TommyTudehope. Sun 20/5. http://t.co/asYTYTr0
@garthk Sounds all well and good if you’re 1. starting from scratch 2. have N installations to do where N is probably > 3.
@ForsakenDAemon I remember that post, and agreed with it. The guys from 37signals make a similar point. Want profit? Charge money!
@iain_chalmers The swamp wallaby was sighted this morning about 10m from the house. I’ve heard them at night, never seen them before.
Oops, forget I spoke, @Nicholosophy, I had a PHP version brainfart in my brain.
“Will you always be a free site? Yes, we will never charge you for the service… How will you make money? Volume.”
RT @transceiverfreq: downtofax.com Chatroulette for fax machines. You’re welcome humans. [HT @m1k3y]
Sat plan, Part B: Potter around Rosella Cottage and environs in an attempt to de-stress after an annoying end to the week. Oh, a weekend.
More Dreamhost cleverness. Default setting is PHP 5.2.x? Bonus! Let’s just put knives on car dashboards, facing the driver. FFS!
@garthk If I had the faintest idea how to parse that sentence into something I understood, I would.
WTF? “US House declines to block employers demanding Facebook passwords” http://t.co/cYN7YhhJ HT @IdentityWoman
I’m reliably informed that what I saw this morning was a swamp wallaby (Wallabia bicolor). http://t.co/lOUU7Mr3
Less money in my wallet than there should be. :(

RT @JackLScanlan: Atheists love taking photos of strange caterpillars. #atheistcon pic.twitter.com/EPKf3l4y [Probably #notaeuphemism but…]
A special place in Hell is reserved for “systems administrators” who don’t clean up after themselves nor document what they do.
Well, the website is back online, without redirects to fake anti-virus scams, but without a major function ‘cos I suspect that’s the way in.
RT @infoholic: @stilgherrian I suppose now would not the best time to mention that it’s #WorldBackupDay. [Guessed it in one.]
Oh of course Dreamhost’s restore-from-backup failed because it couldn’t find any backups. “Sorry, but it’s not guaranteed.” Yeah, I noticed.
RT @bleeters: @stilgherrian no sed or awk? UNFOLLOW! [I didn’t want to boast…]
My dearest friends this morning: grep, diff, md5sum.
@PacketNetworks This is the problem I face. WordPress was patched, and all plugins up to date. I think I know which plugin is to blame too.
@PacketNetworks Fortunately the db is backed up OK separately and the static files are very few in number.
@PacketNetworks If Dreamhost’s “friendly backup robot” ever delivers the files, yes. Meanwhile I’ll strip content and rebuild as a Plan B.
Breakfast done. Back to the joys of disinfecting this site. However The Plan looks likely to work reasonably well.
Another 10 milion Visa and MasterCard records stolen? Ho hum. ;) http://t.co/5d5PFbgC
@SmurfingBeer By “legacy” I mean the client bought a business whose hosting was at Dreamhost, and it’s still there.
Right. I have a recovery plan sketched in my head. Now for breakfast, flesh out said plan, then execute it. Then improve the backup system.
I do “love” the way this nasty little infection is auto-reinfecting when you try to fix anything. Very clever, these bastards.
RT @ozdj: #EarthHour: because sometimes you want to do something even more futile than adding a Twibbon to your avatar. [Oh, yes!]
@jplonie “A lot”? No, I just get called when it happens. This is only the second time since you’ve known me, the first was a legacy site.
I’m sure there ARE legitimate businesses operating out of Kiev. By accident, if for no other reason.
RT @sylmobile: PHP: The hacker’s API. [Cruel. But fair.]
I’m not taking that bet, @caseyjohnellis, I reckon I can name the plugin. Got pwned hours after posting on its support forum… in Kiev.
Yep, a bunch of WordPress PHP files have a shiteload of obfuscated PHP at the front end. So far the MO matches http://t.co/aqKh03Ee
Here we go. wp-content/uploads has innocuous-looking directory slideshow-gallery-pro containing shirtloads of obfuscated PHP. Blam. Gone.
Starting on the investigation. We seem to have a nicely infected WordPress site that’s hosted, thanks to legacy arrangements, at Dreamhost.
A wallaby/kangaroo was skulking 10m from the house, but disappeared into the scrub as soon as I moved to open the door for a closer look.
Sat plan, part A: Disinfect a client website; develop plan part B.
Hello, Saturday. This’ll be fun. Not.
OH: “I don’t like other people thinking.”
Not in the mood for shit jokes.
I’d hoped to have a relaxing break before my 1715 medico appointment, but the effing hackers have decided otherwise. Despite being patched.
Old blog post: “Leena Jangjanya (ลีนา จังจรรจา) is the most beautiful, most sexy woman in all of Thailand.” http://t.co/xzcfMzzF
RT @Pollytics: The old “Hanging curtains naked, fell and got a potato stuck up my bum” trick bit.ly/qZtb0v (via @lucethoughts ) o_O
@tweettomnow Or here’s El Reg’s version, yes http://t.co/OIXywiHS NSA Security Enhanced (SE) Android.
DSD has certified iPhones and iPads for classified govt info up to PROTECTED. iOS 5 hardening guide at http://t.co/zt8K26oD
SEKRIAT briefing complete. I now have a view and a power outlet and an ale. Time to sort out the remaiing tasks for the day.
Arriving at Central station.
GrogsGamut So in the past year, volume of data downloaded has gone from 91% via fixed line to 93% via fixed line. Yeah NBN not needed…
@Paul_e_neuman Oddly enough, I don’t control the speed of the train.
Hurtling through Wentworthville at 120km per hour, which is the best way to do it.
@lukehopewell @zdnetaustralia @dobes We’re back discussing the gravity of the situation, the dimensions of which we simply don’t understand.
@zdnetaustralia But, if you can add a third metaphor, that’d be WIN!
@zdnetaustralia Those train wrecks are terrible when they happen in shallow water…
RT @u_mad: HELLO FELLOW HUMAN TEENS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US TEENS TO HANG OUT IS The ï¼£ï½ï½Œï½ï½”ï½”ï½ï½Œ Pillï½ï½’ ï½ï½† ï¼·ï½ï½”ï½ ï¼¥ï½‡ï½‡ï½” LETS GO DO NO …
Tell ‘em “Underground” is about early-90s hacker scene ho hum. Tell ‘em Assange worked on it OMFG HOW CAN I HELP DO YOU WANT MY PANCREAS!
The Rolling Stone article “Confessions of an Ivy League Frat Boy” turns out not be what I thought it might have been.
Crossing the Nepean.
@TommyTudehope It should be a fun discussion! I daresay we should meet up beforehand but there’s plenty of time for that.
@caseyjohnellis Oh hang on. I’m already well past Springwood. Doh!
@caseyjohnellis I’ll keep an eye open for the traffic problem and tweet details if I can see it from the train. Ta for the heads-up.
RT: Sydney Writers Festival. “iSpy”: privacy and total surveillance. Me in conversation with @TommyTudehope. Sun 20/5. http://t.co/asYTYTr0
lukehopewell “Underground” movie is based on the book of the same name by Suelette Dreyfus. They need an Amstrad PC 1512. sally.addinsall@gmail.com RT!
Oh dear. I was in a bit of a mood when I wrote that, wasn’t I! I should’ve entered that into an award or something.
NBN cost comparison from Economist Intelligence Unit. http://t.co/E8Ru6Rk8 Me on the last one. http://t.co/LD8A5IxT /cc @HarrisonPolites
@Pollytics Thank you, Sir. That’s the one. And @AusLawReform was even quicker off the mark than you were!
“Proposed draft terms,” eh? Love it!
RT @AusLawReform: Draft Copyright TOR are here: bit.ly/GWtRi3 #copyrev [See, Twitterwhinging helps. Thanks. Also @kerryjcom @micm12]
Attorney-General says the draft terms of reference for the review of copyright exceptions are on her website. Buggered if I can find ‘em.
RT @jeamland: Separated at birth? @stilgherrian and Bill Drummond (ex-The KLF): http://t.co/xBOg7KNU http://t.co/lu9iiXi2 [Shoosh!]
@freerangewolf Oh I’m not approaching this as political / parliamentary. It’s just unacceptable behaviour. I don’t care what their job is.
Mobile: Cab to Wentworth Falls; time for a snack, in theory; 1131 train to Sydney.
I think I need a long hot shower now.
So, the folks RTing this journalist “double life” as a stripper story, that passes the public interest test how, exactly?
@PeterPhelpsMLC The very next words to come out of your mouth will simply reveal the nature of your character as a person. That’s the issue.
@PeterPhelpsMLC No. When a man’s behaviour is completely unacceptable you don’t walk way. You call him out on it. And you cross the line.
“Are you going to cuff me?” “Do we have to?” “Physical violence is the least of my priorities.”
I wanted to HT who tweeted that link a while back, but I can’t find it now. Sorry.
‘Arrested Drunk Man Sings “Bohemian Rhapsody” In Its Entirety In Back Of Police Car’ is what it says on the tin. http://t.co/Z8zfvLWf
Fri plan: Client web project management; train to Sydney TBA; SEKRIT meeting; 1715 medico; TGIF; train back, in all likelihood, late.
I don’t think I’ve ever gosled anybody.
@Dom_Innate I know I’m out of touch, but I don’t know what “ryan gosling” is. Sounds like a few drinks are needed first? /cc @TommyTudehope
Sydney Writers Festival. “iSpy”: privacy and total surveillance. Me in conversation with @TommyTudehope. Sun 20/5. http://t.co/asYTYTr0
@PeterPhelpsMLC I’m not trying to entertain, amuse, score points. We’ve never met, I know nothing about you. You are simply way out of line.
@PeterPhelpsMLC Your behaviour is beyond the pale. Controversial != being a prick. It’s not a complainant’s job to amuse you. /cc @kathoc
Most immature males figure out such behaviour is wrong when they’re 14yo. @PeterPhelpsMLC’s excuse? Hasn’t grown up? Only just got online?
I haven’t read @STurkle’s recent work, but “Life on the Screen” explains why @PeterPhelpsMLC imagines his behaviour is acceptable. It’s not.
Usually when people behave like @PeterPhelpsMLC it’s a theory-of-mind defect, forgetting he’s talking to people, no matter what the medium.
Apparently @PeterPhelpsMLC reckons “It’s Twitter” is an excuse to behave like a pig. @STurkle would have a field day. http://t.co/4nQjP3O5
Disgruntled.
RT: Blog post: “Talking NBN rollout on ABC Local Radio”: audio of last night’s chat with @domknight. http://t.co/6DpHXmYs
Friedday. Now, to see what scheduling might be possible.
@NewtonMark @LiamT I’m still back laughing at the “asleep at the switch” comment. Cruel.
This is the software NBNCo used to plan the rollout, apparently. http://t.co/RickCDMp
@NewtonMark @LiamT Well, Liam’s been following this one. But it does seem to be all-ISC. Then again, ACMA liaises with our ISPs. [shrug]
@corduroy @decryption Thank you. I don’t think I explained the Coalition’s plan well, but then my job was to explain today’s announcement.
New blog post: “Talking NBN rollout on ABC Local Radio”: audio of tonight’s chat with @domknight. http://t.co/6DpHXmYs
@corduroy Awww… Please wait at least 30 minutes before misrepresenting me. Or is that swimming after lunch?
Well, that’s the evening radio done. Not sure if I made sense, but I’ll stick the audio online shortly.
On hold for @domknight @702sydney and around NSW/ACT. I’ll be on after The Beatles, streamed from abc.net.au/sydney/
I’m talking NBN and iCode cutoffs with @domknight on @702sydney and local radio NSW at 2110, stream at abc.net.au/sydney/
@neerav I tried watching the first ep of Planet Word but got annoyed. Linguistics blogs have said it fails to sort consensus from radical.
@ataraxite Oh the writing plods along, and now they let me talk in front of people. I’ll have more to say on that tomorrow.
That’s Mr Kaczynski to you, you disrespectful pricks.
Pleased to hear that @domknight is advocating book-burning.
@manaz_d Ta for that. I’m guessing my message for @domknight and audience tonight is that analysis ain’t instant.
RT @johnthelutheran: “Crucifixion: Key To Counterinsurgency”, by Pontius Pilate. http://t.co/qJtJFwcd
Has anyone actually done ANY analysis of the NBN rollout plan, as opposed to fact-free party-political talking points? THAT’S what I’d like.
It’s true, Tucker’s Law really does look better in cross-stitch. twitpic.com/1bxol1
Also add rather a lot of thunder and lightning to the mix.
Seriously pissing down, actually.
Il pleut. Finally. And quite heavily.
RT @domknight: Sorry - NSW/ACT only ;) [Oh. Yes. Brainfart my end. Sorry, I knew that. But I’ll plug the internet feed in due course.]
@SnarkyPlatypus “First conceived in a Goldman Sachs research report” is your answer there.
“Thatcher’s deregulation of the market led to class war, video nasties, Bananarama. We told you. You wouldn’t listen.” http://t.co/VKb5WBOU
BRICS “an artificial bloc built on a catchphrase” http://t.co/w9cnR0xr
So, I just agreed to talk NBN rollout and iCode infected computer cutoffs with @domknight on ABC Local Radio nationally at 2110 or so.
@johnthelutheran Apparently, and this may come as a shock, the internet extends beyond England, and there’s many papers named @thetimes.
“Prime Minister Gillard today warmly welcomed President Bongo and his delegation to Australia.” I can’t read any more.
@leslienassar You’re the one at the 5-star hotel, get your own effing tacos! /cc @quietdiscourse
@bleeters @LiamT Why surprise? iCode has been public, reported on from the very beginning. Get your infected shit off the internet, people!
Yes, of course your tacos will be delivered by robot helicopter. Der. tacocopter.com HT @quietdiscourse
“ACMA: 10,000 malware infected Aussies to be cut-off from internet July 9”, writes @LiamT http://t.co/5ECJSyuV
ACMA cleverly scheduled their “We’re gonna cut you off!” announcement against the NBN rollout plan. How to bury yourself, what?
RT @timehhh: Shorter Turnbull: “We don’t like this NBN roll-out at all, but also it should be happening faster”. Oh, OK then. [Snerk!]
Ah, I love PR firms’ emails to “**SAVE THE DATE” (with asterisks!) that don’t mention whether the event is lunchtime, evening or what.
I think I may do an explanatory voiceover for that video, to answer @craigthomler and other’s questions.
“NBN Three Year Rollout” video. http://t.co/PQb6S8JE Unimpressed. Not a data viz. Gibson desert, Sydney shown as equal density! What a wank.
“Conroy plans filter ‘surprise’ announcement”, writes @joshgnosis http://t.co/E2K1RSC0
Sudden serious fatigue.
Quick quick quick, @ABCNews24! You haven’t been a vulture for nearly an hour! Yes! Back to repetitive intrusion on a family’s grief! FFS!
Mind you, I do suppose we need to explain that the 3-year plan in a 9-year project only contains 1/3 of the total. OMFG ARITHMETICK!
Yeah, @ABCNews24, let’s leave the media conference, what I tuned in for, to watch… what? A journalist repeat what we just heard. Bah!
I see @ABCNews24 is still playing vulture. Fucking disgusting. FFS give a stressed-out and now apparently grieving family a break!
RT @joshgnosis: It begins #nbn instagr.am/p/IvCXWMFCGU/ [Oh, well, THAT makes me wish I’d gone to Sydney for the event! That’s SPESHUL!]
Oh, and I’ve stopped writing because it turns out there wasn’t a news story there. Much as I love my friends at the FBI.
Goo Goo Dolls live in concert? Oddly enough, even that isn’t enough to persuade me to cross an ocean.
OK, I’m starting to write now. With luck, one fewer editor will hate me today.
Thank you, @martinwalsh, for the reminder that Klout is nought but a gimmick. Me on this previously, with references: http://t.co/IZwhXz8d
I see the search for a missing child not yours has become recreation for TV-equipped proles today. You should be thoroughly ashamed.
Maybe there’s a hidden bonus. Maybe we could drop the fuckin’ thing on Jeff Koons and all his arasehat enablers.
I should also point out that’s not a “train” (sequence of cars) but a locomotive. Without its tender. But, like, fuck accuracy.
Jeff Koons is a tosser.
RT @ozdj: Awesome sign in the lift is awesome. twitpic.com/92ks2a [It’s about time someone took some responsibility, yes.]
@TheLoudestVoice Erm, I was doing no such thing, Sir.
To be clear, @andrew_hedge @elronxenu, I could get said Accreditation. I’ve just not got one (yet). Don’t cover head of govt/state stuff.
I’ll start writing soon. I’m hoping that some food will make me feel less dreadful shortly.
“National Media Accreditation” being the pre-screened “real media” and “security cleared” status to keep out the ratbags.
Good thing I didn’t bother with Sydney for NBN rollout announcement. Ranga-in-Chief is taking over. National Media Accreditation now needed.
True, @vealmince, media releases that begin ‘Arsehat Pty Ltd, a leading provider of…’ deserve a special type of derision too.
Thu plan, unordered: Write for @zdnetaustralia; SEKRIT call left over from yesterday; client web project management; cook all the things.
At least the Pirate Party in Berlin’s parliament is showing some sense. Pony Time FTW. http://t.co/RPYBKsts
A “washing machine” has a “motherboard diagnostic code”, @paulwallbank? Then it’s ridiculously over-engineered. This planet is so fucked.
WTF @rubikfinancial? Firms not allowed to tender unless they’re in the Magic Quadrant? How about we get the next ship off this planet?
SnarkyPlatypus Whenever people mention “social marketing”, I picture my friends trying to advertise brands to me and me bitchslapping them for it.
I’m willing to modify that viewpoint if people tell me it was ever a vital purchase decider, not price, performance, features etc.
Dear PR People, no-one gives a toss about your client in Gartner’s Magic Fucking Quadrant. Lead with that, I press delete. Always.
@JonDeeOz Tell the companies your no junk mail sign is being ignored. They will tell the distributor. Two strikes they get sacked.
Fursday, and unimpressed.
@thesydneymag “Issue”? Surely you mean “problem”, or “failure”. Issue is such a wet euphemism.
So, if I can just get all these policies straight in my head, nannies are colourless and weightless?
I have restored the gift of Fire to Rosella Cottage. And nothing significant exploded.
OK, DSP at the ready…
Replacing the safety chain. You’re welcome.
Not fucking it up, mostly.
This process has an oddly sexual component.
Left-hand thread, right?
How come the full gas bottle is so much heavier? If @TonyAbbottMHR has taught us anything, it’s that gases are weightless.