I wasn’t aware I was obliged to provide “suitable entertainment” for random arsehats who hadn’t even bothered to say hello.
RT @ashmidalia: And this is where I click “unfollow”. For the offensiveness more than the inaccuracy. But there’s plenty of each. [Bye!]
Thanks, @CameronWatt @JonathanHepburn @chrisjrn @LucasJamesAU, that probably means this mess in salvageable.
Hypothetically speaking, does Vaseline conduct electricity?
“I’ve nominated myself as the new sheriff of the blogosphere… The Daily Mail can go fuck itself.” arseh.at/t6h
I would also like to thank Russia for trolling Eurovision so comprehensively. youtu.be/YdgbM8k_wNg
@Ausflatfish Ah, I missed that tweet in the river. I remember seeing Iranian newsreel footage of women assembling the shredded strips.
Dear Ministers Bowen and Clare, we’re the richest fucking country in the world. Show a bit of fucking compassion.
Dear Ministers Bowen and Clare, any fool who can read a chart of numbers properly knows policy our end is irrelevant. Fuckwits.
Dear Ministers Bowen and Clare, YOU are the government, so YOU set policy. And the boats’ arrival is determined by the passengers’ need…
2. “Another boat as Coalition ‘turn back’ policy continues to unravel’, timestamped minutes apart.
1. HMAS Maryborough intercepts a SIEV off Ashmore Reef, 34 passengers and 3 crew aboard.
@Ausflatfish @CassPF From memory the US Tehran embassy also used strip-cut shredders, not cross-cut, which makes it rather easy.
The two government media releases I just received, when combined, indicate a rather distasteful piece of opportunism behind the scenes.
RT @Telegraph: Stand by for exciting news about @Telegraph iPhone and Android apps. [No, I’ll get on with life. Tell me when you’re sorted.]
Oh dear. “Accidental headline of the year” arseh.at/t6e HT @johnthelutheran
@maninultimo Oh I take that back. It appears I was taken to a randomly-chosen .xxx registrar.
@maninultimo I see .xxx at USD 99.99 a year. Oh. And it’s GoDaddy under the hood. There’s a problem.
Ah! Horus 22 will be launched tomorrow around 0900 ACDT. arseh.at/qn8 Track it at arseh.at/qpc
Say what? @dotXXX says performers get a free .xxx domain name? I assume there are terms and conditions attached. Possibly other apparatus.
@CassPF Thanks, but it’s not a commiserations thing. It’s a far more sensible way to have planned it actually.
@piecritic I’m not sure that it’s about winning or losing as such… though I do feel lost.
Since I have been so unproductive this eveving, I shall be up early to write one piece before 0900 and another on the train to Sydney.
@BennettArron How do you spot them? From a distance? I didn’t think they had to wear the badges any more? #possiblytoofar
@piecritic So, I am completely at a loss for how to respond to that tweet.
Ah, I still chuckle a little chuckle when Stratfor’s Geopolitical Weekly email arrives.
It’s like having doctors who’ve never studies anatomy, surely @piecritic @NewtonMark?
But how can people admin systems and networks when they don’t understand how anything actually works, @piecritic @NewtonMark?
RT @NewtonMark: Geez, don’t you people know anything about UNIX virtual memory performance tuning? [Not these days. Amateurs. Sigh.]
@NewtonMark Hah. No resource limits? Better strategy: swapping 0 and O in all the test data files so no-one’s assignments worked. Wasn’t me.
@NewtonMark Mind you, I did one on uni’s CDC Cyber 173 once. Had permission to use the whole mainframe for a special project. Killed it.
@NewtonMark Heh. I hadn’t seen a VM thrash in so long it took me ages to figure out what I was looking at.
@NewtonMark Moving to Lion on 4GB RAM, tab-heavy browsing and multi-GB audio edits, got a few proper old school VM thrash meltdowns.
RT: Me at @CSO_Online: “Adobe learns that security is a numbers game”, quoting @bradarkin arseh.at/t5o
@NewtonMark My MacBook Pro has no vmstat. [sulks] Or do I have to sudo it?
@SnarkyPlatypus @jg_rat There’s a reason I’m Google’s #1 result for “neocon sex kitten”.
@jg_rat Yeah I can do seduction. arseh.at/t6b
@jg_rat Hah! I don’t know that the readers of Good Weekend are quite ready for me. Maybe small doses to begin with. ;)
@externallylaws @SnarkyPlatypus Yeah that’s what I meant. I could have worded it better but I am tired and confused.
Oh, did I see somewhere that Fairfax needs a new columnist who can say “cunt” a lot? Hello!
@purserj There’s been no talk of sponsorship for the podcast, no, but I might explore than for series 2.
@fat_asian Given that we’re about 100km apart, this seems unlikely.
@feed_the_chooks IF I FIND OUT WHERE TO BUY ONE I WILL LET YOU KNOW BUT I AM SURE THEY ARE EASY TO FIND IN A BIG CITY. #AMAZING
I don’t think it’s “arrangement”, @ataraxitem. It’s when you know it is 100% on, should you choose, but it just hasn’t happened yet.
RT @feed_the_chooks: @stilgherrian WERE YOU GIFTED A SEX VOUCHER FROM A RELATIVE? JESUS WEPT. [NO I WAS NOT FFS PAY PROPER ATTENTION!]
Now I’ve forgotten why I even asked. You people have deliberately confused me. You are most unkind.
“Fucktingency” has its charms, @SnarkyPlatypus, but I’m sure there’s an existing word. Isn’t “booty call” when it’s on, @externallylaws?
RT @michaelneale: I’m thinking some kind of gift voucher from an open minded relative. [That’s more than a bit wrong.]
I think it’s only “fuck buddy” if it’s happened at least once, @BobGrrl. No, not “marriage”, @patrickkelso @sleemol or middle age @jg_rat
What’s the term for when you’ve got a standing invitation for a root if either of you can be bothered getting around to it ever?
@VivicaDelicious I don’t mean to sound cranky (well, not yet) but I don’t know how the event’s politics / machinations work. Sorry.
@VivicaDelicious @bob_bain Maybe your question is best addressed to the event organisers. It’s a media launch. I was invited. I am media.
@bob_bain Tomorrow night’s Sexpo launch is a media event and cocktail reception, not for general public. Sexpo runs Thu-Sun.
Hey @firstdogonmoon have you seen this tweet? arseh.at/t67
The image of Gina Rinehart eating her own young is appalling, @SammiMarks, and we must never tell @firstdogonmoon. She is a delicate swan!
Gosh this whole Gina Rinehart legal battle thing is the tale of a caring, thoughtful mother, isn’t it. Not. arseh.at/lgm
So it would appear that @firstdogonmoon is living the dream again. “THEY HAVE MADE ME THEIR KING” indeed. arseh.at/lgm
All I know about The Great Porn Debate, @fat_asian, is that stars Ron Jeremy plus “Craig Gross from the XXXChurch”.
At this time tomorrow night I’ll be well into tweeting from the Sexpo Sydney launch and The Great Porn Debate.
Oh. I’m meant to be writing.
@bubbiting Erm, I’m after specific WordPress hosting services packaged as such. Next layer up. Like @wpengine or @Pagely. Am I unclear?
Ah! Federal Court appeal of NRL and AFL and sport generally versus Optus TV Now continues tomorrow morning.
@NewtonMark @TaraMacca I will say that the “84,000 attempts” number being bandied about is meaningless bullshit, currently writing about it.
@NewtonMark @TaeraMacca And if you don’t trust my word on that, here’s Interpol’s. arseh.at/t5z
@NewtonMark @TaraMacca So if The Hypothetical Brisbane Dentist had one dodgy directory, all access to their whole domain gets blocked.
@NewtonMark @TaraMacca So you know the Interpol blocklist is domain-based? Accessing any file on a blocked domain gets counted, AFAIK…
Thank you, @wpengine, I’ll investigate your WordPress hosting in due course.
@bubbiting (Rolling my own WordPress installs on a generic server is something I can do myself. In ten minutes. On my own server.)
@bubbiting No, I’m talking dedicated WordPress hosting, which usually means running WordPress MU and having wp-uploads on a CDN.
AVG has released “A Common Sense Guide to Working on the Move”, a security guide. Ain’t read it yet but arseh.at/t5y
@SexpoAustralia Is there an “official” hashtag for tweeting from the event? Or shall we just go with #sexpo?
Gerry Harvey explains why he DOES get online retail. Despite all the evidence to the contrary. arseh.at/t5x
@maninultimo That seems to have done the trick. You should have the relevant XXX details now.
@maninultimo Twitter wishes to disagree about who’s following whom. I shall now put a bullet in the head of a random passer-by.
@purserj Thanks for the offer. Appreciated. But re-doing the workflows for the Edict, well, no time for that. Plus the interview is daytime.
@maninultimo I would love to DM you but, you know, following.
Fasthosts in the UK offers WordPress hosting. Does anyone in Australia do that as a proper commercial service? Please email me if you do.
Pre-recording a chat to edit and sweeten later is far less hectic than stage managing a live production, @purserj @jonoabroad.
It’s not creating a live audio stream that’s the issue, @purserj @jonoabroad, but planning and scripting, and the live mix.
Sadly “The 9pm Edict” can’t be live, @jonoabroad, as that requires significantly more organisation. Not this episode, anyway. Patience.
Goodness me some people get tetchy, don’t they!
Also, on Thursday night my special guest on “The 9pm Edict” podcast is Mr Ron Jeremy. arseh.at/t41
You’re right, I will certainly need a special avatar for that event.
@engochick @nehadk I’m often days behind in dealing with email, so I don’t mind a call if it’s becoming urgent.
Tomorrow night I’ll be live tweeting from the Sexpo Sydney launch and The Great Porn Debate. Because I can.
RT @engochick: It is. “Did you get my email? Ra di ra di ra.” [Exactly that. And asking about email from just a few hours ago? Hah!]
It would appear that today is Australian PR People Confirm Your Schedules Day.
No, @purserj @NinePerth, why would I look at a Perth TV station’s website when I’m not in Perth and don’t watch TV? ARE YOU MAD?
RT @mumbletwits: Bob Carr likes to talk about Tony Abbott. Should fit right in.
Good Lord! @NinePerth sells sponsorship rights on their tweets! End Times, I tell you, End Times! arseh.at/t5u
Hmmm… I want to get a haircut before tomorrow night but I don’t have time to get to Bangkok and back. What shall I do?
Oh, does this hand feed me? [bite!]
So CBSi is looking for a Senior Web Designer in Sydney. They say “rock star” but they’re not really complete arsehats. arseh.at/t5s
Cat, meet pigeons.
In the interests of trolling, my “Gay marriage an irrelevant sideshow” from 2010. arseh.at/t5r
How dare you let these so-called “facts” interfere with my awesomely clever satire, @dobes!
Oh good, there’s a voiceover job going in Queensland. Must apply.
I wish to congratulate “Danger 5” for developing the concept of Nazi Super-Soldiers controlled via haiku.
Some PR people don’t read my tweets starting “Dear PR People”. Sadness.
@NewtonMark SSL certificates aren’t worth the cow they’re written on. Ask the Iranians. /cc @cameronreilly
@ApostrophePong @jonrussell Don’t feel bad for not measuring up to Wolfram, possibly the greatest mathematician since Sir Isaac Newton.
Robert Gottliebsen reckons it’s Ice Age time for retail dinosaurs who don’t get the internet. arseh.at/t5q
Wok on.
@jonrussell @ApostrophePong It reminds me how much data we ALREADY have that no-one ever looks at because they don’t know how.
@ApostrophePong Oh yes. And here’s Wolfram’s blog post with many more charts and the background. arseh.at/t4b
Trying to understand the geometry of saucepan lids. Circles are so confusing.
So. Many. Towels.
Dear PR People inviting me to many meetings and things next week, I hope to have my plans sorted by this time tomorrow. Please be patient.
robcorr Global issues tutorial this morning.
Tutor: What is a global issue has been in the media this week?
Student: KONY 2012.
Tutor: Who is Cody?
@tweeveetv So, please don’t use @ariannahuff and “fetishisation” in the same sentence. Please.
@GeordieGuy @GreenJ Add “[$]” to the link’s title attribute, problem solved I suppose. [shrugs] I don’t find “[click] Oh. [back]” a burden.
@GreenJ @GeordieGuy Besides, people “pay” for every site they visit by having the shit tracked out of them anyway. Why focus on money?
@GeordieGuy @GreenJ And what’s so, so terrible about people discovering they might have to pay their way? Culture of entitlement much?
@GreenJ The question is the same as whether you mention the titles of books or magazines people have to pay for. Sure, link away!
So, the new Sales Report and Purchase Report Top 10 widgets in @saasu are very handy. Thanks, guys.
Me at @CSO_Online: “Adobe learns that security is a numbers game”, quoting @bradarkin arseh.at/t5o
@garystark @joshgnosis Well the case hinged on the “trade” part of “trademark”. BBC traded using that mark, the Met did not, nor others.
@garystark @joshgnosis You are, alas, wrong. The Met challenged the BBC’s trademark registration and lost. A decade ago.
Tue plan, part B: Wash more towels; clear some minor client webby work; write another @CSO_Australia story; detailed planning a week ahead.
@joshgnosis Both the word TARDIS and its visual appearance are BBC registered trademarks. But hey, they could license it.
Story filed for @CSO_Online, finally. That was far, far more annoying to do than it should’ve been. Stand well clear, people!
Flow. Yay.
You and me both.
Twitter buys Posterous? arseh.at/t5n I see a strategy emerging here. But I must not think about it any more just yet.
Tue plan, part A: Complete article for @CSO_Australia, quickly; develop Tue plan, part B.
Huh?
Gone.
Also confused about biscuits.
Confused. I am meant to be asleep.
@OliviaIllyria “Whoopie pies”? I see what they are but the name seems to belong to something else.
MT @misskylie77: these are macarons: arseh.at/t5i [Oh gotcha, the things you put under chair legs to stop them hurting the carpet.]
ALL THESE WOMEN ARE TALKING TO ME ABOUT WEIRD BISCUITS AND I AM CONFUSED AND A LITTLE EXCITED.
@swearyanthony That is a perfectly grammatical utterance I don’t understand your problem with it or are you just taking the piss?
@daev This is kind of the closest I have up here. flic.kr/p/bAbk62 So what am I looking for again?
WHAT EVEN IS A MACARON?
So the women have all said yes cupcakes are a thing and the men have said either no or the women will say yes or yes but he’s gay OK thanks.
@daev I thought cupcakes was 2009. Apparently I didn’t get the memo. Are memos still a thing?
I think the whole Lent thing is meant to apply when you’re conscious, @franksting, it’s something to do with Free Will.
Cupcakes are still a thing?
MT @franksting: I need to give something up for Lent. [Self-righteousness?]
Sneezing.
Also, altogether too much opium.