Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

April 4th, 2012

The second packet is empty now. Last pecks, people.

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@the500watch Are you suggesting that Wikipedia is wrong? ARE YOU PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS?

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Yes, folks, let’s not kill each other on the roads now. Not because that would be, like, wrong but because DOUBLE DEMERIT POINTS. You cunts.

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Arrange your ring what?

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RT @jeamland: So when @stilgherrian says the country’s going to the dogs, does he mean these dogs? animalstalkinginallcaps.tumblr.com/post/203579808… [Yes.]

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jeamland

It’s best to read each of my tweets individually, literally, and out of context.

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RT @MattMOfDoom: I have no opinions, I’m unqualified. [Exactly. And never, ever forget it. Well, we won’t let you anyway.]

via Janetter for Mac in reply to MattMOfDoom

Don’t forget, kids, journalists’ opinions are INFORMED opinions. All you lot are just amateurs.

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That deformed cat thing is finally making sense.

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@smperris NFI. I don’t change prefs, I just use the thing.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to smperris

@smperris It does. You must be doing it wrong.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to smperris

I imagine that if ColdFusion hasn’t seen a new release in 2 years then it must be 100% free of bugs and security vulnerabilities.

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Sorry, that all should have been ColdFusion. In StudlyCaps. I remember laughing in 1995, was it? 1996? Last stable release 2010, is says.

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MT @zackster: Actually the iTunes store runs on Cold Fusion. [This fact astounds me. Really.]

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Wait. Cold Fusion is still a thing?

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RT @franksting: Anyone got examples of using cold fusion websites on an iPad they can share? [SO, I WANT THE DRUGS HE’S 0N! LOTS OF THEM!]

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So is there anyone I haven’t slagged off yet tonight?

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Mind you, I pity the Prime Minister more, having to pretend her mob have got any idea what they’re doing after the end of next week.

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Gawd, who’d want to be @barryofarrell, having to endure tediously crap nights out, pretend to enjoy it, and announce govt doing govt stuff.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to barryofarrell

Exactly, @jeamland, you’re the precise reason this country is going to the dogs. And @juhasaarinen is the other precise reason.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jeamland

RT @EnsignR: Do you mean those poor defenceless “working families”? [Yes. Defenceless against the perils of buying too much shit on credit.]

via Janetter for Mac in reply to EnsignR

Did I just see a breeder call for “more ways to make parenting socially valued” when “families” get vast political concessions up the wazoo?

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@jackienopants Well that would be another way I suppose, yes.

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Crossing boundaries.

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Surely a lady can figure these things out, @jackienopants, or is a diagram required?

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RT @jackienopants: HOW I AM MEANT TO USE ALL OF MY SHOWER THINGS WHEN THE CADDY WON’T ALWAYS ALLOW THEM ALL TO BE ACCESSIBLE >:(

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RT @absalomedia: I do believe there’s a quote by an Apple engineer to that effect. [Well they’d certainly know.]

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I’m coming to the conclusion that coding for a living is pretty much a public admission that you’re brain damaged.

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@fdaemon_net Bugger. I’m five weeks behind the pace? Well, at least I’m catching up…

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RT @mikko: I installed Instagram with high hopes but the photos it takes all suck. They are all faded and grainy and blurry.

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@fdaemon_net @Eftel_Broadband Yeah, when things happen more than one digit of minutes away from when the vague guess said, it’s world’s end.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to fdaemon_net

@saasu Re your MOTD, so you know Daylight Saving is over, right?

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@franksting Fear not, I’ll Google it on Bing and deliver my ill-informed response in the morning. /cc @instagram

via Janetter for Mac in reply to franksting

@R_Chirgwin Oh some racehorse what had won a bunch of races karked it this arvo. Sky Racing was on and on and on and on and on about it.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

The horse? Still dead.

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@franksting No, it’s the wankery of trying to make a perfectly reasonable digital photo look like something else, like film.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to franksting

Instagram for Android. Because why should Cupertino have a monopoly on shit photography?

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When you do the “>not<” thing, @R_Chirgwin, I read that less as italics and more as constipated clenching. /cc @joshgnosis

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

philipargy Entrepreneurs seeking to raise $150,000 to $1 million at realistic valuations - now is the perfect time to apply to sydneyangels.net.au

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:53 PM, Apr 4th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @DrMiaow: @stilgherrian next time, make it a radioactive spider. [Oh. So. True.]

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RT @jeamland: So who buys RIM? [Generally overweight straight men with inadequate hygiene, I’m told by the workers. Oh. The other one?]

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MT @RealNickHodge: “drugs they give the horses when they break a leg after jumping for toffs” [Lead?]

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RT @noplaceforsheep: And now you have special powers?[Yes. My special power is the first time in a new pub I win the meat raffle. True.]

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I sometimes think that @kcarruthers fully intends her death to be at my hands.

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I was bitten by a spider as a kid, not a redback, a black house spider, and my forearm swelled to double its usual size and it HURT.

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“Why Men Hate Me - Because I am So Handsome”, by @BennettArron. huffingtonpost.co.uk/bennett-arron/…

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@R_Chirgwin Being from South Australia, I grew up with the classic “redback under the dunny seat”. And it’s true, they love that spot.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin I have yet to see a funnel-web spider here at @bunjaree, though I’m sure they’re about. I’m not sure that I’ve seen one ever.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

So the Labor government is so awesome that it can’t even choose which hashtag to use, or ? FILLS ME WITH CONFIDENCE!

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When @R_Chirgwin arrives at @bunjaree tomorrow, I’m not going to tell him where all the new spiders are.

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Client emails to explain “blaarm”. Late-arvo brainfade. Inability to think, speak properly. “Oh man, my brain is all, like, blaaaarrrm…!”

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Well, @BernardKeane, you bring it upon yourself by writing about politics. Might as well hand out the knives before breakfast each day.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BernardKeane

So it turns out that not only do I have to unfollow them, I have to add them to the filter so my so-called “friends” don’t RT the cunts.

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Apparently there are ignorant arsehats who don’t know who Tim Knappstein is. Vide! timknappstein.com.au

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The horse is still dead.

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Looking at Tanya Plibersek’s media release and wondering what’s so “watershed” about it. Watch for that word in the news stories.

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I am back at Bunjaree Cottages and Tim Knappstein is my friend.

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To all those who asked, I didn’t check the salt’s iodine status, but branded and not were both available.

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(I have to, because I drank all his wine and he’s arriving tomorrow. Don’t tell him.)

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AC/DC Highway to Hell 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon is a thing? I shall buy one for @R_Chirgwin.

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I just heard someone tell their child not to buy the Home Brand salt. “It’s not as good.” True. Always get brand-name sodium atoms, kids!

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Through a blur of disgust, irony and bile, I remember a key part of my errands, and I shall now take care of that. Because I’m responsible.

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That horse is still dead, apparently.

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I’m one of God’s Special Snowflakes.

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RT @GiovanniTorre: Every offer is individual and special, like one of god’s snowflakes. [It’s true. And the Atheists can just suffer.]

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If I understand marketing, then ALL offers are “special offers”, right?

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I see that @ataraxite has just invented the $4 schnitzel.

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I swear that thing has gone sentient.

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RT @dannolan_ebooks: shut up the tv show I never polled, we have completely different frequencies and rich people be executed

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“The film includes a contemporary allegory about a fictitious nation where a popular politician comes to power.” [smirks]

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Gosh, @ApostrophePong, I can’t imagine why THIS film ran into problems… bangkokpost.com/news/local/287…

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They are going on and on and on about this horse dying.

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I think less of you for carelessly leaving important nouns out of your tweets.

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Maybe I shouldn’t have posted that photo.

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Now let’s be clear, @Nyx2701, this is what they’ve got to work with. flickr.com/photos/stilghe…

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A horse was just described as “by Bletchley Park out of Mae West”. The WWII historian in me just exploded.

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The producers of corporate videos trying to make global conglomerates look warm and green should be banned from using a piano ever.

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@SammiMarks You have my sympathies. I assume it’s not done to delete the whole sentence? You must micro-edit, not macro-edit?

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I have reason to believe it’s “Mission Accomplished”.

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As a complete aside, Ijust saw a headline that makes me want to stab people.

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So, sportsfans, this is where @Nyx2701 reckons I should get my hair cut. Which is the best look for me? euphoriahair.com.au

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@Nyx2701 Well, I am nearby. I’ll pop down and see if they have time. DM me if there’s a name to drop. ;) /cc @externallylaws

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Nyx2701

@Nyx2701 Ta for the pointer but, um, we are perhaps a tad different in our… erm? Their website emphasises “bridal”. /cc @externallylaws

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Nyx2701

@mrgrumpystephen Ah, I need to turn around these photos faster. That raceis over.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mrgrumpystephen

New photo: “The Door Not Taken”, which is self-explanatory. flickr.com/photos/stilghe…

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RT @semiboganman: i thnk the best option is Hakuna Matata’s in Springwood [I’d rule that out on name alone. Also, Springwood.]

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This is a complicated decision. I’m a long way from my trusted Lebanese barber and his #2 clippers, or my trusted barber in Bangkok. Beer!

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I know, @en_gy @FakeRiamu @SusannaFreymark @jeamland @ibbers @mrgrumpystephen @mrgrumpystephen @ibbers, both should be possible but rules.

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I’m tempted to go to Katoomba to go to Keeping Up Appearances. I could probably get a blue rinse there.

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Euphoria Hair and Beauty? Allure Hair Designs? Le Raux Hair Studio? Leura Hair Studio? I CANNOT POSSIBLE DECIDE! Then there’s Katoomba…

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RT @dannolan_ebooks: I will later to start to the clare go into a scene release group. Bring the cranes it back in their endpoint [YES!]

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I just don’t know how I’ll be able to read all 4923 excellent comments, @GreenJ.

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RT @GreenJ: This is the best thing ever. no really. nothing on the internet comes close. bit.ly/HcDHgN [Yes. Trust the frog on this.]

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The loud Irishman says he spent all of his remaining money on new clothes, and is SO proud. They saw him coming.

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MT @en_gy: Oh Twitter is suggesting I follow @MarqueeSydney… [I’d sure them for defamation.]

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RT @mpesce: zomg now i’m trolling reddit. when did i lose the plot? [About 1991, wasn’t it?]

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The finalists list has just arrived by email, should you, @leslienassar, or anyone else care. It’ll be on their own website soon I’m sure.

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@leslienassar @j_hutch The 2010 awards are for work done in 2010, so entries / judging / awards in early 2011. Hey, I just work here.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to leslienassar

Lizzies are the <SponsorName> IT Journalism Awards, @leslienassar. thelizzies.com I assume the finalists have been posted somewhere.

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Well, @purserj, cPanel runs as root to manage everything. But they give themselves access to the entire data centre. Hang on, lemme link.

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So, when you email cs@cpanel.net (for “customer support”), it goes to the billing team. Because billing is the only support customers need.

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Oh I’ve deleted the PM’s media release now, @purserj, must I click all the way to the Trash folder? THAT’S TWO WHOLE CLICKS!

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“Football in Western Sydney will receive an $8 million funding boost,” Prime Minister? When there are homeless people? Pork barrelling FTL.

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New blog post: “cPanel’s new EULA: more software industry arrogance” stilgherrian.com/internet/cpane…

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I am being persuaded to buy a racehorse. Well, a portion of a racehorse. And I’m not talking about the schnitzel.

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Journotopia Thailand’s Ministry of Culture partially funds a Thai film version of Macbeth, then bans it for “undermining unity”: bangkokpost.com/news/local/287…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:04 PM, Apr 4th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Possibly “love” is being confused with “being a stalker”, but I get them mixed up all the time. After all, it’s only natural.

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Loving music is about music. Knowing band names and titles is trainspotter trivia to make one feel superior. /cc @scullymike

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RT @scullymike: If you say you “love music, but don’t know band names or song titles,” you don’t love music. [Bah! Such utter rubbish…]

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@erkpod Bah! I am asling for myself. My usual #2 crewcut has been neglected and the curls must be quelled. But not entirely. For a change.

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Mobile: Taxi summoned. Leura is the destination, the Alexandra Hotel for a lovely lunch.

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If you follow @NewtonMark you will learn all sorts of interesting things.

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RT @dhgarske: In Katoomba you probably find a natural fiber wearing hippy to bead it for you. [Thanks for the warning.]

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Is there a place in Leura where a gentleman might be able to have his hair cut? Or does one proceed all the way to Katoomba?

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@engochick And yes, I do owe you beer, with interest. I will be in Sydney for the next two weeks though. /cc @Davidramli

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@Davidramli @engochick I am from Adelaide. We do not discuss in public what happened to the bodies.

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Note: I haven’t actually gone to the pub.

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OH: “Penny Wong Lateline transcripts is your lifestyle choice.”

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RT @jplonie: @stilgherrian wouldnt be an sysadmin if you did. [Fair point. I’m off to the pub then.]

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Dear Internet, the Broken Website is now back Online. I will now Clean Up After Myself and Document What I Did. Right?

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Or I should say, @joshgnosis @dobes, Instagram is marriage and Android is The Gay. iPhones are a missionary-position device. You’re welcome.

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Yes, @joshgnosis @dobes, I did just equate Android with gay marriage. No, I don’t want the analogy developed further.

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RT @joshgnosis: Some iPhone users aren’t reacting to Android Instagram very well. bit.ly/HWUANf (va @dobes) [Like gay marriage again]

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@michaelneale That’s the spot. There’s recent Street View imagery. Earthworks look permanent. g.co/maps/wcu8j @jonoabroad

via Janetter for Mac in reply to michaelneale

I’m still not 100% convinced by any of the suggested explanations for the mystery pump. flickr.com/photos/stilghe…

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@drueyjay Wentworth Falls is not in the first 3 years of NBN rollout. I haven’t checked the maps to see whether the fibre will reach here.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to drueyjay

@semiboganman Flexdrive is a brand of pump? A specific technology?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to semibogan

RT @snerdish: @stilgherrian my favorite is the birthday card rendition of Greensleeves. Can rock out to that all day. [Can’t beat classics!]

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Gosh, seems a few people support my modest proposal concerning on-hold music being played to senior managers for six hours a day.

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RT @purserj: What the hell is a grey import? If it’s legal why is it called grey? [Propaganda, distract from illegal restriction of trade.]

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Wed plan, unordered: Research for feature; write for @CSO_Australia; errands Leura or Katoomba; prep for 2+ weeks in Sydney; comms backlog.

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@jonoabroad Sorry, I am responsible for your lack of self-discipline how?

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@sijnstra Nah, you’re being too cynical. “Broadband” has a specific, defined meaning for statistical purposes etc.

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@yewenyi You’re lucky. The Gang-Gang Cockatoo is a vulnerable species. This was the first time I’d ever seen one too.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to yewenyi

@johnvacy Ah, the ol’ auto-wake-before-alarm trick? How does that work, I wonder?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to john_nee_vacy

Blip. So, I’m suddenly wide awake at 0230. Botherama.

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