Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

April 13th, 2012

Moment of Joy #76: Arsehat’s expensive bicycle, chained too close to footpath’s edge,being mashed by the tram’s rapidly-opening door.

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OH: “We can start the band but I know what’s going to happen. I’ll end up writing all the riffs and there’ll be bollocks from anyone else.”

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OH: “Why the fuck don’t you put some more clothes on!”

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OH: “You’re reacting as if fellating a dog is a bad thing!’”

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Not at all stabby.

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Fuck the internet.

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RT @NewtonMark What have the chemtrail conspiracy theorists had to say about this morning’s Qantas cooking oil fuelled flight?

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@GiovanniTorre That’s a lovely thought but surely you have enough egos to massage today.

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This internet thing is such a piece of shit.

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Escaping a minor Hell.

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@richardaedy Hah! It came together well. And now comes the cheerful story. Cheers.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Oh yes. Though Telstra did say they’ve just upgraded 16 cells in the Sydney CBD or somesuch. We shall see.

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Stream fail. Thank you, Next G. Sigh.

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“Leading internet commentator”! Goodness me.

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THE YELLOW CRAZY ANT PROBLEM!

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RT @ozdj: 6pm news editors scrambling for hysterical vox-pop. MT @mozo_au ANZ lift rates by 0.06% late on a Friday arvo. Wait for backlash

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@R_Chirgwin Please pass on my best wishes to Ms T. That’s excellent news!

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Horus 23 will be launched on Sunday. Go, lads! projecthorus.org/?p=2201

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Microbrew Institute of Public Affairs, @MikeStuchbery @s_bridges @dannolan? How would that work? More hops?

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RT @Pollytics: It’s the waxing wot did it. [This one line can be used to explain so many difficult social situations.]

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@Pollytics Excuse me, I’m fairly sure you started this discussion about certain MP’s arses.

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RT: You can hear my brief and ill-informed comments about Instagram on @RNmediareport at 1730 (1530 in WA). But they have good stuff too.

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RT @Pollytics: Aww man, missed . Was hoping Tony “I believe in markets” Abbott could give us the current spot price on his arse

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Ah you mean “Patron Saint Richard Dawkins” and all that, @GeordieGuy? I wouldn’t dare.

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Enjoying the sensations of hot wax.

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bleeters Seems some commenter @themercurycomau really does think Bob Brown killed Jimi Hendrix. In a hospital. By drug overdose. pic.twitter.com/cAGBsMj6

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:50 PM, Apr 13th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Oh I’m going to get so much grief for that.

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Oh THAT’S why it’s so nice in Sydney this afternoon! All those smug, self-righteous militant atheist arseholes are in Melbourne.

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There’s actually a really evil part of me that supports the idea of Senator Clive Hamiton.

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So @TonyAbbottMHR, how do we tell what’s an “election commitment”? Is there a hashtag? Is it a “blood oath”? In writing? Signed, Confused.

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@SnarkyPlatypus If they’re pushing that work, then demand the tools and the training. For productivity’s sake.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@Fluffula And FWIW, I think any anaylsis based on simplistic left vs right or govt vs opposition is deeply flawed. But fuck it, it’s Friday.

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@Fluffula Well, if your mind is made up… but I don’t think word- and minute-counting is a particularly useful tool for detemining bias.

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Thinking about causing an international incident.

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@Fluffula From every political POV, stuff people agreed with was “balanced coverage”, stuff they disagreed with was “bias”. Nothing new.

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@Fluffula Ah. Well, it’s not a job for me anyway. But I think perception of political bias is wrong. I remember that from my own ABC days…

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@Fluffula I have no idea what your tweet means, sorry. “POW” reference baffles me. “Prisoner of War”? Surely not. Seriously, you’ve lost me.

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No need to keep copying me into this bullshit, @Swearycat @Fluffula @CuppaT2, thanks.

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FFS someone throw a bucket of water over the Adam Bandt fan club.

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Oh of course. Now I’m being tweeted at by tunnel-visioned partisan arsehats. Someone get me a gun.

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Oh here is the Dennis Shanahan video. FFS someone at Holt St please tell him. video.theaustralian.com.au/2222362255/Bob…

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RT @feed_the_chooks: Sounded like an asthmatic stroke victim watching porn. [And I thought my sex life was out of control…]

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WHY IS CHRISTINE MILNE SHOUTING AT THE CAMERA? WHY IS DENNIS SHANAHAN? NOT SHOUTING. JUST WHY IS HE?

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Not exactly a relaxed presentation style. Shanahan seems to be in search of yet another sphincter to clench.

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I’m on mobile bandwidth in the Sydney CBD. Watching a video is a bit of a challenge.

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A Dennis Shanahan video? Well this is serious pants-off time! Stand by.

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@benmcginnes Only if you feel the need. I’m happy to accept this as non-controversial. I just think the suppression is in principle wrong.

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@benmcginnes Who can tell? The public comments are vague. Journalist access is minimal. And Defence’s track record on transparency is poor.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to benmcginnes

Enjoying Sydney University IT manager Atilla Demiralay’s testimony to the Independent Commission Against Corruption. zdnet.com.au/sydney-uni-it-…

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Yeah, @purserj? So Qantas flies a plane using New Lard rather than Old Lard. It’s still a scam.

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I think I might have to give up writing now. It has all been done.

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To make it clear, @tom_cowie, that was an OH PLEASE HOW DARE YOU! That was just a bit wrong.

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“So who’s riding the barely-legal boy band behemoth that is One Direction?” PLEASE, @tom_cowie! thepowerindex.com.au/and-the-winner…

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My head is pulled in, @mwyres @Thumpa78, on that basis it seems to be real. Ah well.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mwyres

Inquiry Officer Report on death of Sapper Jamie Larcombe won’t be released. news.defence.gov.au/2012/04/13/inq… I say that’s wrong. stilgherrian.com/politics/kanim…

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@Thumpa78 @mwyres I call bullshit. Substantial contrast and sharpness difference between “shit” and other words on the label.

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RT @jeamland: Aryan Direction? [Now that’s a band I’d pay to see. Erm, um, can someone get me a box of tissues?]

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Now if only @crikey_news intern Emma Koehn would explain how drugs are a game-changer in the war on social media…

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I refuse to comment on rumours that I am joining One Direction. Or One Nation. I get those two confused.

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Wait. @SenatorBobBrown is joining One Direction?

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They PHEAR your SEKRIT LIZARD POWERS, @SenatorBobBrown. Has your time on their planet taught you nothing about Earthian behaviour?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BobBrownFndn

BobBrownFndn If I’m “the most powerful politician in Australia” how come I can’t get my letters to the editor printed in The Australian?

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RT @nanopunk: Expansion of the universe is accelerating interactions.org/cms/?pid=10316… [I blame fast food.]

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Also, I have obtained electricity at Circular Quay, but not at The Paragon.

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You can hear my brief and ill-informed comments about Instagram on @RNmediareport at 1730 (1530 in WA). But they have good stuff too.

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Scotch counts as lunch, by unanimous decision of the Twitterverse.

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@TommyTudehope You can order first aid kits directly from the St John website.

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Wondering whether scotch counts as lunch.

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@RavneelChand Thank you, but McDonald’s does not benefit from my patronage.

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Even more remarkably close to The Paragon.

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Being trolled by an ibis.

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RT @michaelneale shirt bar near western most secret exit of wynyard has power. And scotch. [This sounds promising…]

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I am remarkably close to The Paragon, @SnarkyPlatypus.

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@staticsan True, though I’d consider Starbucks a last-resort option.

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Wondering where to seek a power outlet from Wynyard to Circular Quay. Alcomahol optional.

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Plural concerns with only one head? Hmmm. Seems unnatural.

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I am very happy to know that’s you are in the market of “PVC resin” Our factory is specializes in manufacturing, supplying and exporting it.

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Hmmmm… concerns raise their ugly head.

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@mukimu Unwritten law of journalism. Lost the recorder? You are permitted to make up the quotes.

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RT @indaily: SA Liberals hit self-destruct button again bit.ly/IuEsWl [Wait. So they can’t even get “self destruct” right?]

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RT @latikambourke: Bob Brown’s partner Paul says he’s looking forward to ‘testing Bob’s athleticism.’ [THIS. WE. DID. NOT. NEED. EVER.]

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RT @mpesce: Artificial Intelligence Could Be on Brink of Passing Turing Test zite.to/HPE66o [So Bob Brown… say what?]

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You know who else had a trajectory today? Huh? Huh? [There’s that joke done then.]

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RT @annabelcrabb: “The Greens are on trajectory to become a future government”, says B Brown [… as the first tab of acid kicks in.]

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RT @paulwallbank: Just got off the phone from a nice but confused PR hack. I think she thought I was @stilgherrian [So easy to confuse us.]

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If The Greens can suppress the loopy-heads they may be able to bring their party not only into the 1990s but all the way to this century.

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To make it clear, I deleted that media release immediately. Accelerating a journey sounds unsafe, particularly into poor visibility.

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How can anyone send a media release headed “Accelerate the Journey to Cloud Computing” and keep a straight face?

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RT @Jeff_Sparrow: Instead of merely resigning, Bob Brown should have revealed himself as a lizard from outer space. [Needs sense of humour.]

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RT @GreenJ: good lord, my phone just autocorrected coag to viagra. many layers of wrong. [I think it’s remarkably apt, actually.]

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Today on “I’m an Instant Fucking Expert”, rocketry!

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The man sitting behind me is discussing the side effects of his anti-psychotics.

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I have escaped the ABC. You can hear that one on @RNmediareport at 1730 (1530 in WA).

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus Using MS Paint to edit a graphic. [So, you have to build a website but they didn’t provide the tools. Classic.]

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Arriving at the ABC.

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Today’s factoid: Google’s market capitalisation $212B. Facebook’s supposed valuation $100B. But you can watch Game of Thrones instead, OK?

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“KFC Thailand Apologizes for Improper Quake Posting” thejakartaglobe.com/international/… HT some anonymous chap.

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Hang on. Will I actually be allowed on @RadioNational any more? I don’t have male pattern baldness.

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RT @caseyjohnellis: almost. on the ads they’re on an air or an iPad. more magical and revolutionary apparently. [True.]

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Not quite - you don’t dress like One Of Those People In The Ads, yet. [That reminds me. I need a stylist…]

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RT @dobes: do you have a scarf handy? [What for? To strangle myself with?]

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I’m sitting outside a cafe drinking coffee while checking tech share prices on my MacBook Pro. I have become One Of Those People In The Ads.

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“Lost control of the narrative”, @wordsonaplatfrm? How? To whom?

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Thanks, @nigelwadsworth @paintmehappy @chrisbrownie et al, I’d seen a few folks that were Draw Something fans suddenly stop. Fad over?

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If Draw Something is no longer a thing, @nigelwadsworth, that happened bloody fast! Comments from Draw Something players I know, please?

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Path is still a thing but on life support, maybe. That seems to be the consensus. Except for the New Jersey thing. That’s confused me.

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Is Path still a thing?

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Mobile: A gentle head-clearing journey in the sun before arriving at ABC Ultimo for my 1000 recording with @richardaedy for @RNmediareport.

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Livestream Broadcaster: sub-$500, streams HD live video from anywhere (in US or EU) store.livestream.com/products/lives…

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Oh. A personal warning email from the Department of Homeland Security? OK then.

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Fri plan: 1000 recording ABC Ultimo; brunch (where?); continue work on feature (where?); TGIF (where?).

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This blog is aimed to amuse and ridicule, I’m sure, but this one post is really more sad and tragic. shit-starter.tumblr.com/post/207638422…

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