Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

August 15th, 2012

Collapsing. But my mind is filled with a murderous sub-plot.

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RT @thomasrdotorg: @stilgherrian @franksting why ever reply to a moron who’s got 6 tweets and 30 followers?! [Because gangrene.]

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“Hipsters stunned as vintage cameras fail to make them professional photographers” hayibo.com/hipsters-stunn… HT various.

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@franksting Thanks for the heads-up. I didn’t think my estimation could drop any further, but it just did. What a pathetic piece of filth.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to franksting

@OrkneyLibrary Many thanks. Don’t worry about @SnarkyPlatypus, he’s been drinking. Or so I’m told.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to OrkneyLibrary

NBNDishwasher Thought of the evening: 50 Shades of Grey for dishwashers. 50 Shades of Grey Water? I’d read that.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 11:03 PM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@OrkneyLibrary Online payments is still a black art, I agree. Unless you are America. Which you are not. I SHALL NOT BE DETERRED!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to OrkneyLibrary

@OrkneyLibrary “No online entries will be accepted”? Are you sure you’re proper librarians?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to OrkneyLibrary

OH, on Hemingway: “That’s not fiction, that’s just hipster rubbish.” Oh dear.

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OH: “This would be a lot easier to deal with emotionally if you’d just stop laughing for a moment.”

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@OrkneyLibrary “Crime short story”? But does it HAVE to be about the theft of herring or a murder at the Steps concert?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to OrkneyLibrary

mikko In the end, Space Invaders always win.

via Twitter for Websites (retweeted on 10:06 PM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@longjohn05 You are honestly not worth my breath. Such ignorance is inexcusable. I pity your children End of conversation.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to longjohn05

This is even worse than synchronised swimming.

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Jesus wept, what have we become?

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@longjohn05 If you honestly think that your way is how we should treat fellow human beings in need then you are beneath contempt.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to longjohn05

@longjohn05 See, you’re one of the obnoxious, ignorant cunts that empowers this crap. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to longjohn05

I will ignore all this now, because it gives me grief.

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I see I’m far from the only one for whom this is personal. Phone your MPs in the morning, yeah? Please.

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That said, I shouldn’t pick on the PM. Every single one of you cunts in that chamber this week is tainted. Disgusted.

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So Ms Gillard, about the concentration camps you just authorised… remember what these blokes fought for? instagr.am/p/OWMU2tCFrC/

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Best Sydney nightscape EVAH!!!1!! instagr.am/p/OWL4uaCFq0/

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Balls of Justice (Federal edition) instagr.am/p/OWKzjeiFqa/

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I am ordering another flask of the Sake of Judgement.

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OH: “He’s Roman Catholic or something. I think he’s from Lebanon. He’s got shaved hair and huge eyebrows. He’s quite cute actually.”

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OH: “Someone saw us at the Marly and asked me, ‘What’s going on with that guy?’ And I don’t know.”

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OH: “I don’t think he’s the best looking but he’s nice looking. He’s starting to grow on me. I don’t know why he hasn’t made more of a move”

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OH: “He just didn’t have the money to appreciate the kind of lifestyle I could bring him.”

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The 1920 thing never did strike me as funny.

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Good to see @barryofarrell forget the bulk of the 20th century and invent the 12 O’Clock Swill. History and logic are a mug’s game.

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@Colvinius @VMMoncrieff Pussy Riot’s victory really was a cunning stunt, eh?

via Plume for Android in reply to Colvinius

Well Eco did a whole book…

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I could have made it to Antwerp by now.

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I don’t think he gets it.

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@juhasaarinen I am not “recreationally dissociative” how very dare you I know the launch codes and it won’t be pretty.

via Plume for Android in reply to juhasaarinen

WELL I AM HERE WHERE ARE YOU LATE AS USUAL THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD SUNSHINE.

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So this is what nighttime looks like sober? Bugger me!

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Well the PCP situation had better be sorted or I’m following Bus Woman’s advice.

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OH, young woman getting off bus, into phone, loudly: “I’ll just fuckin’ go with someone else if you’re fuckin’ gonna waste my fuckin’ time.”

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AAustralia is just stupid now.

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We need more of these, everywhere. In workplaces, suburban shopping centres, just everywhere instagr.am/p/OV5Fr0CFky/

via Instagram

Leaving now, because I trust people to be punctual.

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@IainDale Are you sure you haven’t stumbled into a complex phishing scam? I’d be giving them a call before answering any more questions.

via Plume for Android in reply to IainDale

“The ankles on those diminutive whores are visible!” There should be an Order of Australia in that one alone.

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Yeah, so I’m a whore.

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Internet Governance Forum, Canberra 11-12 Oct. Who’s picking up my tab for that one? Bids are now open. igf.org.au

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I am not a spoof account.

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@AdamFowler_IT @smperris Thanks, glad you enjoyed the podcast conversation with @mpesce, which for others is at zdnet.com/au/the-future-…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to AdamFowler_IT

@MikeDKwine @breko It’s a challenge, sure, but one needs to try to succeed.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to MikeDKwine

Who do you think? I saw the suggestion.

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“Where the streets have no meme”? Ah no, I misread. As you were.

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I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT WE WILL BE DOING NOW.

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550-“JunkMail rejected - smarty.dreamhost.com [208.113.175.8]:48037 is in an 550 RBL, see Blocked - see spamcop.net/bl.shtml?208.1…” HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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RT @jeamland: Hey @Telstra, j.mp links still don’t work on NextG. [Oh Benno, you might as well talk to the cutlery. At least it talks back.]

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Actually, I’ve just had an idea.

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Look I was over on Macquarie St yesterday and they hadn’t dusted the place with PCP so I fail to understand NSW Parliament’s excuse.

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RT @breko: QUICKLY LETS DRINK AS MANY SHOTS AS POSSIBLE BEFORE MIDNIGHT HITS!!

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I’m so glad that @AlboMP has sussed out this “frequency energy” and confirmed that everything is OK. zdnet.com/au/body-scanne…

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RT @dannolan: Can someone find me a picture of a teacup pig in overalls thank you [This is called “crowdsourcing” and it’s the future.]

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@mpesce @purserj @smperris Wait I see where this is heading and I think I don’t like it.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

I wonder if there’s some way to refine cocaine out of hotel room carpets.

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@Wyld No, this is a good time. I’m mapping out the next week and need to clear big audio files off my recorder. Consider it bumped up.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Wyld

@dahowlett You’d be looking at Albion St, Surry Hills, Sydney.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to dahowlett

After this morning’s irritations I’m too tired to write another piece today. I will therefore potter and annoy until I receive instructions.

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@Wyld No, in fact this is probably the ideal time to say you feel like an idiot. @piecritic @SenatorLudlam

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Wyld

The has also been a significant increase in the quality of the amenity now that blackness has been properly understood.

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Was that a suggestion or a statement of current fact?

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@720perth Maybe you could explain to @mpesce how the internet can be used to understand time zones…

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Mind you, that’s driven mostly a really big case of CBF.

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So, I’ll be in Sydney until tomorrow now.

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GreenJ well that will be different. RT @smh: National News: Inglis ready to explode in NRL return bit.ly/Pl6nKX

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:52 PM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Ah excellent. The interview with @Jeff_Sparrow ended just as a bottle of my amenity was being delivered. This works quite nicely.

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RT @juhasaarinen: 1,300 words in just over an hour. Hmm. [I don’t think “Kill me, kill me now” repeated 260 times counts.]

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“I’m here, ready to talk porn,” I message to someone on Skype who I hope is @Jeff_Sparrow.

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“Of course, a process that sent certain vaginas and not others into Category One was sexist.”

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Recalling the pleasure with which I reviewed a draft of @Jeff_Sparrow’s “Money Shot”. Fun book. penguin.com.au/products/97819…

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RT @BernardKeane: Can someone name the four mass casualty attacks that ASIO claims to have disrupted in the last 10 years?

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@jeamland HOLD YOUR HORSES. WHEN I EMAIL YOU I WILL EMAIL YOU TO TELL YOU.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jeamland

Re-reading @Jeff_Sparrow’s story of masturbation in an adult theatre, prior to recording him for “Patch Monday” podcast. It’s a living.

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RT @leslienassar: “What’s important now, is we move forward,” said Chris Bowen, “forward into the abyss!”

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Observation: Christopher Cross is no Johann Sebastian Bach.

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: The number of useless tossers in this survey is skewing the reporting. [MODERN POLITICS EXPLAINED.]

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I do like how my regular hotels describe my wine as an “amenity”, like electricity and plumbing.

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I think lunch is called for. I shall enquire about the availability of nature’s fish stick, the garfish.

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@NewtonMark @GreensMPs I don’t think you can do a number that large in roman numerals.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to NewtonMark

@juhasaarinen Your powers of deduction are ASTOUNDING, Holmes!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to juhasaarinen

@Kristen_Boschma Yes, I mean in the office that sort of thing is TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE.

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Kristen_Boschma Too much PDA. The young couple next to me have stopped snogging to eat food out of each other’s mouths (I’m not in the office).

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:18 PM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Being fact-checked.

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Oh good. Once more the wafer of black plastic makes the annoyances go away. “Snooty”? Bah!

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I am so going to need a Xantini after this.

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@triple5adam My memory says Kristina Svechinskaya was sentenced to 40 years. The recording may say 14 years. Checking in next 24 hours.

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Anyway, who the fuck wears bright red tights and black suede boots when they’ve got the build of Sybil Fawlty?

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Good. They have gone away and some semblance of peace has returned. I may actually get to finish writing this story, Dear Editor.

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fortalyst Auto-erotic asphyxiation kills more people every year than sharks. Possibly coz sharks have gills & find it harder to choke themselves…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:03 PM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

She has followed them. Still shouting at the phone.

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Her colleagues, originally waiting for her to finish, have picked up their paperwork and walked away en masse. Good call.

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“You’ve got some internal issue there and it’s up to him, but you need to sort out this credit card.”

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Manager’s name is Stephen. He’s in Auckland. He’s not permitted to ship glass because policy BUT HER CREDIT CARD WAS CHARGED THREE DAYS AGO.

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I’ve retreated to the foyer. Now a woman is shouting at her phone about how Michael needs to resolve this what is the name of your manager.

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Do editors understand the impact of masonry drills on writers’ concentration? Oh Christ, I’ve just put ideas in their heads, haven’t I.

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Apparently not putting people in a concentration camp is 5-star treatment. I shall have to cross-check this at reception when I check out.

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@paulwfletcher FYI, your website is broken. (Private investors would have sacked your webmaster by now?)

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This unexpected drilling is driving me crazy.

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RT @juhasaarinen: Mr Cool Ice. i.imgur.com/th3yB.jpg [I do so love reality.]

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I particular like Werner von Braun’s 2000-Year Reich, or something. i.imgur.com/pM7fh.jpg

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So yeah, kids, this was what the first dotcom boom looked like. imgur.com/a/Qlh7Y HT @chris_coltrane via @joshgnosis

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So the words “humanitarian” and “quota” put together like that. Doesn’t it just make you feel warm and cosy inside? Like Christmas.

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Sic transit railways. (Shut up, I did Latin.) instagr.am/p/OU9R75iFkA/

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RT @joshgnosis: Lab coats with shorts just doesn’t look right. bit.ly/Ohe1TJ [And also disturbing in that photo…]

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Suddenly realising I still have “assange” in my Twitter global filter. Along with “gotye”.

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Hahaha! Yes, it does appear that “abraxas” is Greek for “forced sodomy”, but not for the reason we first thought. Giggling.

via Plume for Android

BernardKeane Cybercrime Bill is off today’s Senate agenda due slow consideration of previous bills and offshore processing bill. Next week maybe.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:26 AM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Plume for Android)

Rebooting all the things.

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I am enjoying myself. Are you enjoying yourself? instagr.am/p/OU5eGVCFhO/

via Instagram

Or maybe not says the, erm, President of Ecuador. Who to believe, who to believe? abc.net.au/news/2012-08-1…

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CUhlmann Sabra Lane tells me there is a competition on Twitter for most hated ABC personailty. At last a competition I can win! Knock yourself out.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:27 AM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Renegotiating deadlines, and winning.

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“Shifting NBN cost cause for confusion”, writes Fairfax. If only there was somewhere they could’ve explained it all… smh.com.au/it-pro/governm…

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@SnarkyPlatypus Sure, there are laptops built to full mil-spec standards for water immersion, shock etc, for use on the battlefield.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

So The Guardian reckons Assange will get his asylum in Ecuador. NOTE THAT HE DID NOT HAVE A BOAT. guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug…

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I am now in the correct mood for writing the first thing. Thank you.

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creativecommons Wow. @internetarchive is now sharing its massive collections over @BitTorrent. Over one million torrents! bit.ly/SjpMsd

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:40 AM, Aug 15th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@SupratimA “Groupon’s business model”? What? “Charge other people money to flog their below-cost shit to scavengers”? Yeah big future there.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SupratimA

That said, it DOES seem appropriate using the word “arse” when talking to the Deputy Prime Minister for the first time. THIS IS AUSTRALIA!

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I will say, it does feel odd calling the Deputy Prime Minister “Swanny”. I don’t think we’ve ever met. Seems… inappropriate.

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MT @SteveBomford: Russian Deputy PM calls Madonna ‘An ex-whore’ … [Hey @SwannyDPM the bar has been set! Springsteen my arse!]

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THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT TOO MCH SOURDOUGH RYE, PEOPLE!

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I swear than in that music video you can see the precise moment his LSD kicks in.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Cela semble dangereux. Je préfère quelque chose de plus sécuritaire. youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Wed plan: Write for @ABCthedrum; talk to Apple; write for @CSO_Australia; 1500 “Patch Monday” record @Jeff_Sparrow re penguin.com.au/products/97819…

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@lyndalcairns You’re not alone. @prezi is yet more bullshit to impress the gullible when you have nothing of substance to say.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lyndalcairns

I’m not sure that I stand by that translation.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je me sens horrible, mais je fais la danse des marionnettes. Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Rearranging things.

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It’s really quite amazing how much cooperation can be generated via a little wafer of black plastic.

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Less than 24 hours until a free “webinar” on the Occupy movement by Michael Angley, former USAF Special Agent. www2.gotomeeting.com/register/29717…

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God I feel dreadful. The perfect mood for writing op-eds, perhaps. And I have two to write today.

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It is Wednesday. I probably wanted to be awake earlier, but my body decided sleep was needed. So here we are.

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