Collapsing. But my mind is filled with a murderous sub-plot.
RT @thomasrdotorg: @stilgherrian @franksting why ever reply to a moron who’s got 6 tweets and 30 followers?! [Because gangrene.]
“Hipsters stunned as vintage cameras fail to make them professional photographers” hayibo.com/hipsters-stunn… HT various.
@franksting Thanks for the heads-up. I didn’t think my estimation could drop any further, but it just did. What a pathetic piece of filth.
@OrkneyLibrary Many thanks. Don’t worry about @SnarkyPlatypus, he’s been drinking. Or so I’m told.
NBNDishwasher Thought of the evening: 50 Shades of Grey for dishwashers. 50 Shades of Grey Water? I’d read that.
@OrkneyLibrary Online payments is still a black art, I agree. Unless you are America. Which you are not. I SHALL NOT BE DETERRED!
@OrkneyLibrary “No online entries will be accepted”? Are you sure you’re proper librarians?
OH, on Hemingway: “That’s not fiction, that’s just hipster rubbish.” Oh dear.
@OrkneyLibrary You, Sir and/or Madam, are on!
OH: “This would be a lot easier to deal with emotionally if you’d just stop laughing for a moment.”
@OrkneyLibrary “Crime short story”? But does it HAVE to be about the theft of herring or a murder at the Steps concert?
@longjohn05 You are honestly not worth my breath. Such ignorance is inexcusable. I pity your children End of conversation.
This is even worse than synchronised swimming.
Jesus wept, what have we become?
@longjohn05 If you honestly think that your way is how we should treat fellow human beings in need then you are beneath contempt.
@longjohn05 See, you’re one of the obnoxious, ignorant cunts that empowers this crap. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.
I will ignore all this now, because it gives me grief.
I see I’m far from the only one for whom this is personal. Phone your MPs in the morning, yeah? Please.
That said, I shouldn’t pick on the PM. Every single one of you cunts in that chamber this week is tainted. Disgusted.
So Ms Gillard, about the concentration camps you just authorised… remember what these blokes fought for? instagr.am/p/OWMU2tCFrC/
Best Sydney nightscape EVAH!!!1!! instagr.am/p/OWL4uaCFq0/
Balls of Justice (Federal edition) instagr.am/p/OWKzjeiFqa/
@intrepidfear This is reality.
I am ordering another flask of the Sake of Judgement.
OH: “He’s Roman Catholic or something. I think he’s from Lebanon. He’s got shaved hair and huge eyebrows. He’s quite cute actually.”
OH: “Someone saw us at the Marly and asked me, ‘What’s going on with that guy?’ And I don’t know.”
OH: “I don’t think he’s the best looking but he’s nice looking. He’s starting to grow on me. I don’t know why he hasn’t made more of a move”
OH: “He just didn’t have the money to appreciate the kind of lifestyle I could bring him.”
The 1920 thing never did strike me as funny.
Good to see @barryofarrell forget the bulk of the 20th century and invent the 12 O’Clock Swill. History and logic are a mug’s game.
Hull.
Rotterdam.
@Colvinius @VMMoncrieff Pussy Riot’s victory really was a cunning stunt, eh?
Well Eco did a whole book…
I could have made it to Antwerp by now.
Jesus wept.
@danielstone Punch them.
I don’t think he gets it.
@juhasaarinen I am not “recreationally dissociative” how very dare you I know the launch codes and it won’t be pretty.
WELL I AM HERE WHERE ARE YOU LATE AS USUAL THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD SUNSHINE.
So this is what nighttime looks like sober? Bugger me!
Well the PCP situation had better be sorted or I’m following Bus Woman’s advice.
OH, young woman getting off bus, into phone, loudly: “I’ll just fuckin’ go with someone else if you’re fuckin’ gonna waste my fuckin’ time.”
AAustralia is just stupid now.
We need more of these, everywhere. In workplaces, suburban shopping centres, just everywhere instagr.am/p/OV5Fr0CFky/
Leaving now, because I trust people to be punctual.
@IainDale Are you sure you haven’t stumbled into a complex phishing scam? I’d be giving them a call before answering any more questions.
“The ankles on those diminutive whores are visible!” There should be an Order of Australia in that one alone.
Yeah, so I’m a whore.
Internet Governance Forum, Canberra 11-12 Oct. Who’s picking up my tab for that one? Bids are now open. igf.org.au #auigf
@jonoabroad @BernardK @roooney83 @drunkenmadman @mwyres @mahkramo Shut up all of you.
I am not a spoof account.
@AdamFowler_IT @smperris Thanks, glad you enjoyed the podcast conversation with @mpesce, which for others is at zdnet.com/au/the-future-…
@MikeDKwine @breko It’s a challenge, sure, but one needs to try to succeed.
Who do you think? I saw the suggestion.
“Where the streets have no meme”? Ah no, I misread. As you were.
Maybe that creature is up for #WinningPolicyFromNSW
I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT WE WILL BE DOING NOW.
550-“JunkMail rejected - smarty.dreamhost.com [208.113.175.8]:48037 is in an 550 RBL, see Blocked - see spamcop.net/bl.shtml?208.1…” HAHAHAHAHAHA!
RT @jeamland: Hey @Telstra, j.mp links still don’t work on NextG. [Oh Benno, you might as well talk to the cutlery. At least it talks back.]
Actually, I’ve just had an idea.
Look I was over on Macquarie St yesterday and they hadn’t dusted the place with PCP so I fail to understand NSW Parliament’s excuse.
RT @breko: QUICKLY LETS DRINK AS MANY SHOTS AS POSSIBLE BEFORE MIDNIGHT HITS!! #WinningPolicyFromNSW
I’m so glad that @AlboMP has sussed out this “frequency energy” and confirmed that everything is OK. zdnet.com/au/body-scanne…
RT @dannolan: Can someone find me a picture of a teacup pig in overalls thank you [This is called “crowdsourcing” and it’s the future.]
I wonder if there’s some way to refine cocaine out of hotel room carpets.
@Wyld No, this is a good time. I’m mapping out the next week and need to clear big audio files off my recorder. Consider it bumped up.
@dahowlett You’d be looking at Albion St, Surry Hills, Sydney.
After this morning’s irritations I’m too tired to write another piece today. I will therefore potter and annoy until I receive instructions.
@Wyld No, in fact this is probably the ideal time to say you feel like an idiot. @piecritic @SenatorLudlam
@lindsayevans s/||/&&/g ?
The has also been a significant increase in the quality of the amenity now that blackness has been properly understood.
Was that a suggestion or a statement of current fact?
@Wyld @piecritic @SenatorLudlam So, Tripwire is not Trapwire…
Mind you, that’s driven mostly a really big case of CBF.
So, I’ll be in Sydney until tomorrow now.
GreenJ well that will be different. RT @smh: National News: Inglis ready to explode in NRL return bit.ly/Pl6nKX #australia
Ah excellent. The interview with @Jeff_Sparrow ended just as a bottle of my amenity was being delivered. This works quite nicely.
Calling…
RT @juhasaarinen: 1,300 words in just over an hour. Hmm. [I don’t think “Kill me, kill me now” repeated 260 times counts.]
“I’m here, ready to talk porn,” I message to someone on Skype who I hope is @Jeff_Sparrow.
Arsehats at play instagr.am/p/OVf6PbiFrF/
“Of course, a process that sent certain vaginas and not others into Category One was sexist.”
Recalling the pleasure with which I reviewed a draft of @Jeff_Sparrow’s “Money Shot”. Fun book. penguin.com.au/products/97819…
RT @BernardKeane: Can someone name the four mass casualty attacks that ASIO claims to have disrupted in the last 10 years?
@jeamland HOLD YOUR HORSES. WHEN I EMAIL YOU I WILL EMAIL YOU TO TELL YOU.
Re-reading @Jeff_Sparrow’s story of masturbation in an adult theatre, prior to recording him for “Patch Monday” podcast. It’s a living.
RT @leslienassar: “What’s important now, is we move forward,” said Chris Bowen, “forward into the abyss!”
Observation: Christopher Cross is no Johann Sebastian Bach.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: The number of useless tossers in this survey is skewing the reporting. [MODERN POLITICS EXPLAINED.]
@Pollytics @GrogsGamut @thedailybeast That’s with an “o” not an “a”, OK?
I do like how my regular hotels describe my wine as an “amenity”, like electricity and plumbing.
I think lunch is called for. I shall enquire about the availability of nature’s fish stick, the garfish.
@NewtonMark @GreensMPs I don’t think you can do a number that large in roman numerals.
@juhasaarinen Your powers of deduction are ASTOUNDING, Holmes!
@Kristen_Boschma Yes, I mean in the office that sort of thing is TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE.
Kristen_Boschma Too much PDA. The young couple next to me have stopped snogging to eat food out of each other’s mouths (I’m not in the office).
Being fact-checked.
Oh good. Once more the wafer of black plastic makes the annoyances go away. “Snooty”? Bah!
I am so going to need a Xantini after this.
@triple5adam My memory says Kristina Svechinskaya was sentenced to 40 years. The recording may say 14 years. Checking in next 24 hours.
@ApostrophePong @SnarkyPlatypus Yes, you’d look great with the build of Sybil Fawlty. google.com.au/search?q=sybil…
Anyway, who the fuck wears bright red tights and black suede boots when they’ve got the build of Sybil Fawlty?
Good. They have gone away and some semblance of peace has returned. I may actually get to finish writing this story, Dear Editor.
fortalyst Auto-erotic asphyxiation kills more people every year than sharks. Possibly coz sharks have gills & find it harder to choke themselves…
She has followed them. Still shouting at the phone.
Her colleagues, originally waiting for her to finish, have picked up their paperwork and walked away en masse. Good call.
“You’ve got some internal issue there and it’s up to him, but you need to sort out this credit card.”
Manager’s name is Stephen. He’s in Auckland. He’s not permitted to ship glass because policy BUT HER CREDIT CARD WAS CHARGED THREE DAYS AGO.
I’ve retreated to the foyer. Now a woman is shouting at her phone about how Michael needs to resolve this what is the name of your manager.
Do editors understand the impact of masonry drills on writers’ concentration? Oh Christ, I’ve just put ideas in their heads, haven’t I.
Apparently not putting people in a concentration camp is 5-star treatment. I shall have to cross-check this at reception when I check out.
@paulwfletcher FYI, your website is broken. (Private investors would have sacked your webmaster by now?)
This unexpected drilling is driving me crazy. #notaeuphemism
RT @juhasaarinen: Mr Cool Ice. i.imgur.com/th3yB.jpg [I do so love reality.]
I particular like Werner von Braun’s 2000-Year Reich, or something. i.imgur.com/pM7fh.jpg
So yeah, kids, this was what the first dotcom boom looked like. imgur.com/a/Qlh7Y HT @chris_coltrane via @joshgnosis
So the words “humanitarian” and “quota” put together like that. Doesn’t it just make you feel warm and cosy inside? Like Christmas.
Sic transit railways. (Shut up, I did Latin.) instagr.am/p/OU9R75iFkA/
RT @joshgnosis: Lab coats with shorts just doesn’t look right. bit.ly/Ohe1TJ [And also disturbing in that photo…]
Suddenly realising I still have “assange” in my Twitter global filter. Along with “gotye”.
Hahaha! Yes, it does appear that “abraxas” is Greek for “forced sodomy”, but not for the reason we first thought. Giggling.
BernardKeane Cybercrime Bill is off today’s Senate agenda due slow consideration of previous bills and offshore processing bill. Next week maybe.
Rebooting all the things.
I am enjoying myself. Are you enjoying yourself? instagr.am/p/OU5eGVCFhO/
Or maybe not says the, erm, President of Ecuador. Who to believe, who to believe? abc.net.au/news/2012-08-1…
CUhlmann Sabra Lane tells me there is a competition on Twitter for most hated ABC personailty. At last a competition I can win! Knock yourself out.
Renegotiating deadlines, and winning.
“Shifting NBN cost cause for confusion”, writes Fairfax. If only there was somewhere they could’ve explained it all… smh.com.au/it-pro/governm…
@SnarkyPlatypus Sure, there are laptops built to full mil-spec standards for water immersion, shock etc, for use on the battlefield.
So The Guardian reckons Assange will get his asylum in Ecuador. NOTE THAT HE DID NOT HAVE A BOAT. guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug…
I am now in the correct mood for writing the first thing. Thank you.
creativecommons Wow. @internetarchive is now sharing its massive collections over @BitTorrent. Over one million torrents! bit.ly/SjpMsd
@SupratimA “Groupon’s business model”? What? “Charge other people money to flog their below-cost shit to scavengers”? Yeah big future there.
That said, it DOES seem appropriate using the word “arse” when talking to the Deputy Prime Minister for the first time. THIS IS AUSTRALIA!
I will say, it does feel odd calling the Deputy Prime Minister “Swanny”. I don’t think we’ve ever met. Seems… inappropriate.
MT @SteveBomford: Russian Deputy PM calls Madonna ‘An ex-whore’ … [Hey @SwannyDPM the bar has been set! Springsteen my arse!]
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT TOO MCH SOURDOUGH RYE, PEOPLE!
I swear than in that music video you can see the precise moment his LSD kicks in.
@SnarkyPlatypus Cela semble dangereux. Je préfère quelque chose de plus sécuritaire. youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5…
Wed plan: Write for @ABCthedrum; talk to Apple; write for @CSO_Australia; 1500 “Patch Monday” record @Jeff_Sparrow re penguin.com.au/products/97819…
@lyndalcairns You’re not alone. @prezi is yet more bullshit to impress the gullible when you have nothing of substance to say.
I’m not sure that I stand by that translation.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je me sens horrible, mais je fais la danse des marionnettes. Et vous?
Rearranging things.
It’s really quite amazing how much cooperation can be generated via a little wafer of black plastic.
Less than 24 hours until a free “webinar” on the Occupy movement by Michael Angley, former USAF Special Agent. www2.gotomeeting.com/register/29717…
God I feel dreadful. The perfect mood for writing op-eds, perhaps. And I have two to write today.
It is Wednesday. I probably wanted to be awake earlier, but my body decided sleep was needed. So here we are.