Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

August 16th, 2012

What is measured, exists.

via Janetter for Mac

@jeremysear Possibly I haven’t conveyed the temporal aspect of my meaning.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jeremysear

Anyone who pins on a badge and says they agree with whatever package of worldviews is currently so badged is an unimaginably vast fuckwit.

via Janetter for Mac

I assume there’ll be arsehats who imagine my last tweet means I support Labor or The Greens or whoever. They’d be very big arsehats indeed.

via Janetter for Mac

That is not a prayer to any god, of course, but to those to fill the Liberal party room, an altogether different creature.

via Janetter for Mac

If we must be governed by a party whose ideology disagrees, at least let it be led by a man with whom we’d be comfortable breaking bread.

via Janetter for Mac

And note the admiration for @TurnbullMalcolm from those on his side? Do watch for anything even similar for @TonyAbbottMHR in coming weeks.

via Janetter for Mac

Those trained in reading body language should read @TonyAbbottMHR’s in response to @TurnbullMalcolm’s dig some 9m55s into the video.

via Janetter for Mac

Those who said @TurnbullMalcolm’s tribute to R Hughes and @GreenJ’s essay upon same were glorious spoke the truth. abc.net.au/news/2012-08-1…

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RT @RandomTEDTalks: Second Life, Where Anything Is A Supermassive Black Hole [Heh. More true than Truth itself.]

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@lewellyn We should indeed do drinks or something. I shall be in touch close to the dates, once I decide where I’m staying from Thursday.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lewellyn

@lewellyn I arrive SFO on Sun 26 Aug and fly out SJC on Mon 3 Sep. Thu to Mon is as yet completely unplanned.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lewellyn

Why was the Home Affairs minister interrogated as if a ship’s captain choosing “safety of crew” and “head to land” is somehow bad?

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Note to self: Tokay is a fortified wine, m’kay?

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“Spicy sausage”?

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How long does it take to post a letter from the Blue Mountains to Orkney? (I don’t even believe I have to ask that!)

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RT @torrentfreak: Kim Dotcom Must Be Allowed To See FBI Evidence Against Him, Court Rules dlvr.it/20wt7T [We needed a court for that?]

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I’ve no clear picture of what happened, but deep in my heart I know I want to buy @franksting a nice big drink and shake his hand.

via Janetter for Mac

mrspeaker My email: “… or we could do it programmatically”. My spell checker: “Do you mean ‘problematically’?”. Hmm, yes, probably.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:26 PM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

NewtonMark The Waverider is another example of the fact that there are more airplanes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 6:22 PM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@GreenJ What? And destroy the fantasies of thousands of gay men? Or, possibly, enhance them?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to GreenJ

@lewellyn Careful, matey, I’m in CA in about ten days…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lewellyn

Is it too early to start on the wine and cheese?

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The entire world discovered masturbation in the eighties. Consider the hairstyles alone.

via Janetter for Mac

What IS it with me today?

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Discovering the word “flâneur” at your age, particularly YOU, is like discovering masturbation in your eighties. A lot like it, in fact.

via Janetter for Mac

@igbtys @lif_au @ozdj Yes, out of 643 MILLION passengers per year. Not quite as tiny as one in a million, but close. transtats.bts.gov

via Janetter for Mac in reply to igbtys

Germany: Facebook must destroy facial recognition database, opt-out violates EU law. arstechnica.com/tech-policy/20… HT @counternotions/ @craigthomler

via Janetter for Mac

@manaz_d @VEvents Where’d I indicate surprise? I’ve dealt extensively with MYOB for clients. Dumped them 5y ago, dropped client work 3y ago.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to manaz_d

@tomatom How many pigs? How many trotters? Work up from there as with any other noun phrase.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to tomatom

RT @ABCenvironment: Bilbies unexpectedly found on WA/NT border bit.ly/PqZiIN [IRREGULARS! STOP THE BILBIES!]

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@smperris @R_Chirgwin Not the official access road to @bunjaree, but the one that cuts through 30m of Alex’s private property as signposted.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to smperris

I commend unto you Melissa Parke MP’s speech on asylum seekers. Not a polished performance, but one with a conscience. youtube.com/watch?v=wsGg-Z…

via Janetter for Mac

Wine? Check. Cheese? Check. Crackers? Check. I am now prepared for this evening’s Assange-related bullshit. Oh wait. No heroin. Damn.

via Janetter for Mac

@R_Chirgwin I’ll kinda miss the cab drivers living in fear of their entire car disappearing into a pothole though.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Let us never associate Tony Abbott with anal sex ever again [The Platypus speaks truth.]

via Janetter for Mac

Civil Works Foreman, Blue Mountains City Council instagr.am/p/OYSl6OiFtK/

via Instagram

Behold, @R_Chirgwin, the latest in civil engineering! instagr.am/p/OYSJYICFs9/

via Instagram

OMFG! BMCC has gravelled and graded Frenchmans Road! Ping @R_Chirgwin 

via Plume for Android

“Porno once” WTF? Pronounced!

via Plume for Android

Perhaps it’s porno once “huh-WHINE”.

via Plume for Android

Yeah look all these vowels are costing us money instagr.am/p/OYQY7yCFsZ/

via Instagram

@phbarratt Have politicians ever been able to do arithmetic?

via Plume for Android in reply to phbarratt

Maybe The Grand View Hotel can help me. They’re my only hope. Well, apart from D’Vine Cellars.

via Plume for Android

RT @SnarkyPlatypus You can’t escape webinars. [But you can outgun them.]

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I need some Incentivation.

via Plume for Android

I think I might start spending the afternoons in MYOB’s QA department. The bourbon must be bloody cheap.

via Janetter for Mac

VEvents *screams* MYOB has NO facility to enable businesses to upload all their current data to the Cloud software. It has to be entered MANUALLY!

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:44 PM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Why isn’t there a meme yet for Nicola Roxon looking disappointed at you? [Ping @firstdogonmoon and the internet.]

via Janetter for Mac

@elronxenu This has nothing to do with quiet carriages. It’s about him. That face. That expression. That inability to shave properly. Punch.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to elronxenu

That reminds me. I still haven’t dealt with the BBC World Service for dissing me on the weekend. What is their email address?

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus I did my early radio training with Gabrielle Carey.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

snurb_dot_info Just got a call _claiming_ to be from @melbourneit, asking to renew my domain name by giving card details on the phone. Very dubious…

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 3:19 PM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

“I’ve been tricked!”

via Janetter for Mac

@GreenJ That would be a long queue indeed! It might even be the cue for laughter.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to GreenJ

@mishaketch @ConversationEDU I can see that we might end up having to build a corral for the coral.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mishaketch

Yeah look, it has come to this. [Deep breath] For a non-loopy version of Assange / Ecuador / London try Guy Rundle. crikey.com.au/2012/08/16/ass…

via Janetter for Mac

@jeamland @ConcupiscentGuy I’ll halt now. It’s fun but I wouldn’t put all ny exit one basket.

via Plume for Android in reply to jeamland

If you see this man on a train, you are required to punch him instagr.am/p/OYE4iLiFnf/

via Instagram

RT @BernardKeane So who’s DDOSing aph.gov.au then? [Morons who object to democratic process, usually.]

via Plume for Android

@jeamland @ConcupiscentGuy top idea. ps, I fg the jobs but I can ping you after I sleep. If you still fsck’n care.

via Plume for Android in reply to jeamland

Why yes, please add yet another custom URL shortener to your toolset so yet another bunch of unknown bastards can track everything I read.

via Plume for Android

@jeamland @ConcupiscentGuy Shell be right, right? Or do I need to biff you?

via Plume for Android in reply to jeamland

MT @jeamland I am firmly of the opinion that Perl causes scabies.

via Plume for Android

@ndrwR It was a he. And no she wasn’t.

via Plume for Android in reply to ndrwR

Is Margaret Thatcher still Prime Minister over there? Or that abandoned teddy bear chap I saw on TV? I’m really not up to speed.

via Plume for Android

Don’t worry, folks, I’ll be on the very next train out of town.

via Plume for Android

Pro Tip: Whatever big-picture cause you support, it is vital to abandon critical thinking about your own attitudes to this issue.

via Janetter for Mac

@piecritic Damn shame. I guess it’ll have to be a matter of slow and steady improvement. Bon Chance, Monsieur!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to piecritic

RT @piecritic: I think today I will buy absinthe and drink all of it. [And Australian politics will be 73% better for it. Please proceed.]

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OH: “I need to get my hands on some of Edgar Allen Poe’s work.” YES, IT IS SUCH A DIFFICULT CHALLENGE.

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@intrepidfear @SnarkyPlatypus Actually, spending $150k on a wankfest could be… um, oh never mind.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to intrepidfear

RT @feed_the_chooks: “I want a thin-crust pizza, extra mozza, a little chilli and HOLD THE BUGS.” [So that’s Domino’s ruled out…]

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No, Crowdfunding Fans, we don’t need no stinking ACCC interfering with our Glorious Sparkly Future! indiegogo.com/lifemeanswhat HT @SnarkyPlatypus

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@manne0411 Which international law has the UK violated so far? And where did I ever say they had that right should they choose? Sheesh!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to manne0411

SisterMorphine @Idealaw @stilgherrian Maybe the police presence is all just a horrible misunderstanding. I hear pizza delivery is a dangerous business…

via Echofon (retweeted on 1:47 PM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @Idealaw: @stilgherrian And also, will Julian ever actually get his pizza? [HEY @ABCNews24 HAVE YOU GOT SOMEONE ON THIS?]

via Janetter for Mac

@willemrt Well The Met is, as one would expect, saying precisely nothing about a current operational matter. As, indeed, is fine by me.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to willemrt

@gusworldau Focus on the door, not the drawer. After all, you don’t look at the mantlepiece when you’re stoking the fire.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to gusworldau

RT @SwearengenCD: “Team” is just another way of spelling “meat”. [HT @jonoabroad Ping @SnarkyPlatypus]

via Janetter for Mac

I hereby call upon the world’s news media to address the critical shortage of baseless speculation about what is happening in London.

via Janetter for Mac

@wikileaks Well, with all due respect, Mr Assange has now presumably breached bail conditions. So he IS a fugitive from the law.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to wikileaks

@CameronAtfield @Slate And which “official” announced this? White House? Island Records? UN Twitter Influence Agency?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to CameronAtfield

You may think this a tad disproportionate to apprehend a man wanted to assist .se police with their enquiries. I couldn’t possibly comment.

via Janetter for Mac

@willozap Are you crossing the Kevent Horizon?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to willozap

@KarlMayerhofer Please pass on to your brother my admiration for his stamina and self-control.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to KarlMayerhofer

@jayrosen_nyu “NYU’s Jay Rosen advocates dropping the ‘factual’ requirement from journalism.” So, like that?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jayrosen_nyu

Welcome to the Attention Economy. Please turn your speakers to 11. youtube.com/watch?v=hzFsDQ… Ping @feed_the_chooks @PeteDotAscian

via Janetter for Mac

Stainless Steel Crash Bolandicoot!

via Plume for Android

Analysis of the audio suggests I should answer in the negative.

via Plume for Android

Hold on, I just need to check something with Gina, Clive and Mr Branson… instagr.am/p/OX38LXiFvX/

via Instagram

RT @jonoabroad @stilgherrian why are you wiring that building with explosives? [That’s not important right now, Bulwinkle.]

via Plume for Android

BREAKING! RT @smh: Cubic Corporation inks deal to produce new Robert Fripp video.

via Plume for Android

So at Newtown High School of the Performing Arts, in which year do they teach the boys that annoying nasal whine?

via Plume for Android

For some reason I seem to be Possessed by Wrong today.

via Plume for Android

RT @feed_the_chooks They’ve got nothing on Robert Fripp. [It wouldn’t be hard to fabricate the necessary evidence. No-one would suspect.]

via Plume for Android

RT @leslienassar Quick, everyone. OUTRAGE HARDER!

via Plume for Android

RT @newsdotcomHQ ASSANGE THREAT: Mum says it’s an act of war news.com.au/technology/ecu… [You left out “noted international lawyer”.]

via Plume for Android

RT @0x1C @stilgherrian You mean your panties don’t match your hair? Rookie. [I stand corrected.]

via Plume for Android

For those who aspire to be tossers… instagr.am/p/OX0TLcCFsn/

via Instagram

Mobile: Check out; errand to Newtown / Enmore, which may include lunch; train to Wentworth Falls; remainder TBA.

via Janetter for Mac

My legal team has advised me that this would perhaps be an excellent time to adjourn for lunch, should Your Honour agree.

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: The UK police penetrating things? I’ve seen that DVD [The Platypus speaks truth.]

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RT @bernietb: Why hasn’t anyone asked Warren Truss what he thinks about this whole thing? [Ping @GreenJ.]

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@Sephyre I just RTd @jonathonio’s comment, but with @smh’s deployment of the Memory Hole these days who can tell? Trust? My arse…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Sephyre

@adamgdunn @jonathonio Yes I know that. But I care even less until it’s all over. Microreportage is bullshit.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to adamgdunn

BREAKING! RT @smh: Cubic Corporation has stormed Ecuador’s embassy.

via Janetter for Mac

Some questions answer themselves, I suppose…

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RT @jonathonio: Why is the SMH the only news source I can find reporting that British police have raided the Ecuadorian embassy?

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RT @godaisies: A gorgeous digital library about Australian pests with HQ photos: padil.gov.au/pests-and-dise… [Doesn’t list Assange?]

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Full Circle estimates that 0.03% of Australia’s GDP is telcos over-charging their customers. $480M a year. technologyspectator.com.au/cracking-down-…

via Janetter for Mac

sunili BABUSHKA EMBASSIES! YES! RT @domknight: So can the whole of the Ecuadorian Embassy now seek asylum in a larger embassy?

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 11:43 AM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @mrgrumpystephen: @stilgherrian Bewitched? [Yes, that’s the one, Tabitha.]

via Janetter for Mac

WARNING: “Cloud in a Vault” (CiaV) is now a thing. We have entered that Zone that they did that black and white TV program about.

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: I can Twitter effectively while doing everything else half-arsedly. [The Platypus speaks truth.]

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: has hit too early here today. I think I need a carafe of Bloody Marys to counter this. [The Platypus speaks truth.]

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Joe Ludwig keeps sending me emails about farms. Oh wait.

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Setting up a mail filter rule: Is the important/urgent flag set? Route straight to trash.

via Janetter for Mac

Check his recommendations! “We’re watching you: why the government should focus on cybersecurity, not surveillance” theconversation.edu.au/were-watching-…

via Janetter for Mac

Plotting something unusual involving a Thai Princess.

via Janetter for Mac

I seem to be seeing only about half of the @replies that are sent to me. Just a FYI on why I may appear unresponsive. Well, one reason.

via Janetter for Mac

mishaketch Just received confirmation from Malcolm Fraser’s office that @MalcolmFraser12 is the former PM. Pleased he’s on twitter.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:11 AM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

I wouldn’t openly call for @expectproblems to be put to death, but… you know.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to expectproblems

RT @intrepidfear: @stilgherrian @mpesce Sex Industry really does drive technology to new and exciting places. [Next week’s “Patch Monday”.]

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@mpesce Coinage rights on HYPERBORDELLO please.

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“Prostitutes Turn Airbnb Apartment Into Brothel” gizmodo.com/5934731/prosti… Ping @mpesce

via Janetter for Mac

@Idealaw Followed by “man with knife becomes instant surgeon”. God, I love the future!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Idealaw

RT @Idealaw: And so a guy with a mobile phone becomes instant journalist [At least till his phone goes flat I guess] bambuser.com/v/2905136

via Janetter for Mac

SnarkyPlatypus It’s a Dell computer so you can’t treat it in a civil manner.

via Plume for Android (retweeted on 9:51 AM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Thu plan, v2: Clear comms backlog; minor client webby works; errand to Newtown/Enmore; return to Wentworth Falls; research and the like.

via Janetter for Mac

GreenJ i do envy Greg Sheridan his sense of utter, unimpeachable certainty. he must be good at rose pruning i reckon.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:36 AM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @bubbiting: @stilgherrian Soon that embassy will be girt by police vans [Oh! Oh! Oh! I think I love you!]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: ‘Besieged’ is a better term to use. [Possibly. But we’re dealing with folks who think anyone with a camera is “spying”.]

via Janetter for Mac

@BwBBKK @Skellor @Colvinius “ITV reporting police”? There is such a thing? A boundary’s been crossed there! Who pays them?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BwBBKK

I was then going to make a joke about Roxon and penetration testers, but thought better of it. /cc @ruxcon

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Just be aware, folks, @ruxcon and Roxon are not the same thing.

via Janetter for Mac

I HAVE SURROUNDED THE CHEESE PLATTER.

via Janetter for Mac

“A second large red police van has arrived to surround the Ecuadorian embassy”. So previously it was “surrounded” by, um, one van? Arsehats.

via Janetter for Mac

Poached pears with blue cheese.

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus Only have 2000 words. It’ll be difficult to include ALL the sub-plots we discussed. But I sketched it out under the shower.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Bloody internet people you are FORCING me to make use of the this morning it is outrageous.

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Who ARE these arsehats?

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WE HAVE INVENTED A NEW THING AND IT HAS A BUZZWORD SO YOU ARE JUST A RELIC OF THE PAST AND WE ARE ALL HONEST PEOPLE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US.

via Janetter for Mac

HAHAHAHAHA. “Crowdfunding pioneers” are so funny. “Let’s just collect money for ill-defined purposes how dare you have, like, rules.”

via Janetter for Mac

RT @dr_nic: A ball peen hammer, obviously RT @stilgherrian What is a Dick Smith and what sort of hammer does one use? [Obviously. Bravo.]

via Janetter for Mac

Oh. With that tweet I probably blackballed myself for life from the International Current Affairs Satire Writers Cabal.

via Janetter for Mac

The great thing about doing jokes about the news is that you don’t actually have to read the news first. People fill in the gaps themselves.

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RT @mpesce: Nearly there pic.twitter.com/odTbZCug [Yeah, I mean sod “I have a dream…”]

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RT @chrisberg we can no longer call ourselves a free people if dick smith cannot put a paid insert in the newspaper of someone he criticises

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I am starting to suspect that I’m not helping.

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So is @Clarke_Melissa that chick on the TV, or a Twitter p0rn bot? You decide.

via Janetter for Mac

Clarke_Melissa Well @BreakfastNews viewers, we asked on your behalf - Malcolm Fraser has refused to confirm or deny that he is @MalcolmFraser12

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:58 AM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

What is a Dick Smith and what sort of hammer does one use?

via Janetter for Mac

Today on “I’m an Instant Fucking Expert”, the verb “to storm”. Because media diversity.

via Janetter for Mac

SnarkyPlatypus Fred Nile is such a bullshit Christian.

via Plume for Android (retweeted on 8:54 AM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @MylesPeterson: Fairfax Media *prints* its missing-in-action correction - pic.twitter.com/OMnK45ue

via Janetter for Mac

You will please be stop referring to this phenomenon as The Merging.

via Janetter for Mac

@smperris So this idea of @mpesce agreeing on everything? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to smperris

So Salesforce has launched Salesforce Communities, private whitebox social networks for business. salesforce.com/chatter/commun…

via Janetter for Mac

What is WRONG with the Australian Labor Party? Why is everything it does somebody else’s fault? FFS man up, you pricks! The sheilas too.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @chris23: @stilgherrian @mpesce Fartcast! [So this is either perfection itself of a reason to commit homicide. Possibly both.]

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@bastardsheep Alas, I can’t do a candlelit dinner tonight. I must return to the Blue Mountains and deal with some personal chores.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to bastardsheep

Thu plan, v1: Breakfast, then plan out a day in Sydney. Who needs to meet me this week? Who’s taking me to lunch? Otherwise it’s writing.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @intrepidfear: @stilgherrian you might want to consider a Thursday plan first [Oh. Yeah. Thanks to you and @mspecht.]

via Janetter for Mac

@RealNickHodge Sure. @mpesce knows all the old farts of the internet. @mpesce is the Molly Meldrum of the Internet. (He’s gonna kill me.)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to RealNickHodge

Tue plan, v1: Breakfast, then plan out a day in Sydney. Who needs to meet me this week? Who’s taking me to lunch? Otherwise it’s writing.

via Janetter for Mac

There’s evidence to suggest @mpesce and I could win with a regular podcast of two old farts talking about the internet with guest farts.

via Janetter for Mac

@notrez Thanks, Rez, but you can listen to @mpesce and me at breakfast time? Are you on drugs?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to notrez

@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis heureux de dire ce que Les Étapes sont source d’inspiration ma journée. Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

RT @TheOnion: Area Woman’s Hair Always Wet onion.com/N0UXfB

via Janetter for Mac

I’d very much like to thank those who RTd or otherwise supported those thoughts last night. Maybe there is still some hope.

via Janetter for Mac

RT me: “So Ms Gillard, about the concentration camps you just authorised… remember what these blokes fought for?” flickr.com/photos/stilghe…

via Janetter for Mac

Oatmeal Help me raise money to buy Nikola Tesla’s old laboratory is.gd/3hQ94c

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:18 AM, Aug 16th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)