RT: Me at @CSO_Australia: “Symantec’s Sydney SOC surge sounds suspiciously so-so” http://t.co/HvOXgvCr
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: You’re getting drunk together RT @stilgherrian: WE ARE SHARING OUR CREATIVE PASSIONS! [Yeah whatever.]
@Beaker I so wish it had just been about toilets.
Escaping this madness in a taxi.
Too right! instagr.am/p/Pyv1PyiFgs/
GIANT GOATS WHOSE UDDERS ARE FULL OF BEER!
Appatently “Louis Pastel” is a person.
“Beer is responsible for the civilization we have today.”
This is hilarious.
“This prompted indigenous artists to say ‘the rainbow serpent has woken’”
“I’m interested in eroticising everyday objects, like the light bulb “
RT @AnnabelAstbury @stilgherrian man - I’m at a School concert - count your blessings. [Fair point.]
Apparently respect for, you know, a millennium of rationality means nothing in Katoomba.
I’ve just been told, “Can you show some respect, you’re disturbing me.”
“It’s about creating, it’s about passion.”
“Colours can be warm or cold, but only metaphorically.”
I SERIOUSLY NEED MOAR DRUGS.
“Colour is the instrument that we use for drawing.”
THIS IS AWESOME!
[Photo of discarded chip packets] “This is careless behaviour and shows now respect for our environment.”
“Trains are nice because they can take you to places when you don’t have a car.”
“The staff were rude… I think if they let the children painted it would be better.” instagr.am/p/Pyn3s4CFuT/
O NOES HE IS NOT HERE NEXT SPEAKER.
The next speaker will be talking about his love of tin toy robots.
I’ve got a clear shot, permission to fire?
The management of Hard Rock Cafe were revolutionary WELL WHICH GOVERNMENT S DID THEY OVERTHROW YOUR WANKER.
“Dharmic management” and “crystal fortune buzzword enhance humanity” FFS get me a gun.
So that’s the second time she’s mentioned “spirit of generosity” this does note bode well.
WE ARE SHARING OUR CREATIVE PASSIONS!
Long Island Iced Tea FTW instagr.am/p/PylfZZCFtm/
Yeah so I haven’t been drinking since lunchtime instagr.am/p/PykyS0CFtW/
Next stop, the Carrington. instagr.am/p/PykprLCFtT/
SnarkyPlatypus Thinking of writing a spiritual sequel to “Eat, Pray, Love” called “Snark, Prey, Shove”.
@jturner_ibrs Cyberstorm HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Which tinned food? ALL THE CANNED BEETROOT!
@jturner_ibrs I was not invited to hear about these tentacles. Sulks. :(
Me at @CSO_Australia: “Symantec’s Sydney SOC surge sounds suspiciously so-so” http://t.co/HvOXgvCr
@cjlambert You’re assuming that the chain of command puts the external PR under the internal PR. C-suite [ugh!] often overrides.
@_LeonieGSmith Like you need sparkles and rainbows when you’ve got fags and bourbon. Bah.
I’m always amused when a company’s PR manager personally apologises for the antics of their external PR firm. Respect. [bows]
OH: “Just watching you is fascinating.”
Since you asked about my “special unicorn t-shirt”… instagr.am/p/PybYGSiFqq/
RT @wolfcat: “I was Trolled on the Internet” T-Shirt http://t.co/BJFQ4Kwn seeing as it is #trollday and all.
Dear Janetter and Twitter, COULD YOU PLEASE FUCKING WELL COOPERATE AND DELIVER ALL OF MY FUCKING DIRECT MESSAGES. That’d be lovely, thanks.
Dear Every Political Party, when will you understand that we don’t want puppet fucktards as leaders? IT’S NOT THAT DIFFICULT.
Intellectual rigour and Sarah Hanson-Young? You might as well try to teach ducks to dance.
GreenJ Love honor and obey etc #cory2012 pic.twitter.com/jEOSh8nG
Pollytics Thank god same sex marriage legislation failed. Pretty hot! RT @GreenJ: The lad bit.ly/PrP8Fw
@SnarkyPlatypus Be that as it may, and I have my own “encounters”, @nswpolice is trying best they can to stop people being bashed.
Well I’m sure that I don’t even know what “Grindr” is who are you people what are you talking about even.
@SnarkyPlatypus Awww don’t pick on @nswpolice. They only see the ugliest parts of how the new world works.
RT @joshgnosis: SMH said it was Skout. [I bow to their superior knowledge of mobile phone slutfests.]
Also thanks to @nswpolice for offering good personal safety advice but, um, how do we deal with this wave of the future?
Ah, gotta love the delicate way @nswpolice word this. http://t.co/xPrGuNZI [*cough* Grindr *cough*]
If you’re in the Upper Blue Mountains tonight, consider this. I’ll be there. http://t.co/HoVCERcb
Story for @CSO_Australia filed, which was not in today’s plan but I got inspired.
@Leighlo I like your hat.
“The end of the world as we know it,” warns @firstdogonmoon. I have commented. http://t.co/suPLeVst
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: So, will #GetAnAndroid become a legit hashtag? [Sure. Along with #LetUsHackYou.]
@Leighlo Are we talking about the same thing?
RT @Leighlo: @stilgherrian are you asking for one? [Are you offering one?]
Free eBook!
@mpesce Sorry, I thought you’d planned to still be alive beyond Saturday?
Disgruntled. But I’m channeling that into an op-ed. BECAUSE I’M A PROFESSIONAL.
RT @TV_Rev: @stilgherrian Did you also offer a little slap? [No. Probably. Shut up.]
@NewtonMark Don’t. Get. Me. Started. On. The. F-35.
@NewtonMark Bah. Defend against WHAT is the issue. We ARE defending against every credible threat to Australia: 30 Afghans in a leaky boat.
linuxconfau We’re super organised over here in #lca2013 land. Our first draft of the conference programme is now up! bit.ly/UemxYF
RT @piawaugh: MUST. NOT. GO. FOR. JOYRIDE. pic.twitter.com/1pYxRA6X [You are dead to me now.]
@ssharwood @gusworldau @expectproblems @R_Chirgwin No, now you’ve gone too far.
@ssharwood @gusworldau @expectproblems @R_Chirgwin This is either a very bad or very good suggestion.
OH, young women to young man: “Oh I like these new jeans, they make your bum look all tight and perky and… yum! [slaps]” I agree with her.
RT @SisterMorphine: Actually, the Lizard People already replaced most of us with minigoats years ago. You’re the only one left. [Explained.]
I’m fairly sure I could replace most of you with minigoats. http://t.co/pBz0NRFK
RT @robcorr: Haven’t the Jews suffered enough? [Oh well played!]
joshgnosis Is this the correct response today? bit.ly/VeM1TE
New blog post: “Talking Apple iPhone 5 on Balls Radio”, in which I compare Windows Phone to Judaism. http://t.co/37929wYV
@seamus @joshgnosis INFINITE JOY!
@seamus @joshgnosis If people need to rely on the phone to deliver joy to their lives then they’re very sad individuals indeed.
RT @gusworldau: @stilgherrian @ssharwood @expectproblems repeat 360 [forward 1 right 1] [THIS IS WHY TECH WRITING IS WRONG. @R_Chirgwin]
@ssharwood @expectproblems DAMN YOU SHARWOOD I WAS ASSUMING THAT A LOGO JOKE WOULD BE TOO MUCH FOR THE KIDDIES.
RT @expectproblems: So, a “Turtle Excluder Device” is a real actual thing. Huh. [Well you don’t want intrusive turtles, do you?]
RT @joshgnosis: Since when does functionality mean anything to Apple? [Sorry, Josh, you’re quite right. I’ll STFU now. Sulk.]
RT @joshgnosis: Okay, I do like this #ios6 pic.twitter.com/Rw0sCEZY [Sure, but any evidence that 3D prettiness makes it easier to navigate?]
@mpesce @RealNickHodge @atirere One thing or the other. One must decide which side of the fence one falls. Behave properly.
RT @patentology: And it’s physically impossible. Paths do not - pretty much by definition - accelerate (except those airport travelators).
Oh dear. His thick black spectacle frames have no glass in them. His vision is fraudulent.
No, @bigmac, not a euphemism. Not everything is a euphemism.
THERE ARE CHINESE HIPSTERS ON MY TRAIN!
Phrases that should be grounds for stabbing PR folks: “accelerate your path to X”. Only morons actually speak like this.
“The 1159 train [oops, not 1200] to Lithgow is delayed by approximately 10 minutes.”
Another dreadful day instagr.am/p/Px26e2CFmD/
Mobile: Walk dirt track then Railway Pde to Wentworth Falls; 1200 train to Katoomba; lunch The Old City Bank; remainder TBA.
If any of said webfolk ask “What’s your email address?” I’ll assume they’re too stupid to be trusted with the work.
I hadn’t even heard of WYSIWYG Web Builder until this client told me they’d built themselves a new website in it. wysiwygwebbuilder.com
Any Sydney-based web folk know WYSIWYG Web Builder to polish a client’s website and make it search-engine friendly? Email me. Note: email.
mumbletwits It’s five days since the Muslim uprising was put down.
joshgnosis Joe Hildebrand’s story about Conroy meeting with Twitter is inaccurate btw. His department did. Not Conroy himself.
@glengyron @jeamland WTF? Philip Glass and Laurie Anderson and Linda Ronstadt and The Roches and Kronos String Quartet? http://t.co/BrNgJ4Iv
farrm51 Shurely shome mishtake??? The Oz today. pic.twitter.com/euschEC7
@glengyron God, imagine if Phillip Glass and Laurie Anderson… no, let’s not.
I wonder if an editor would accept an op-ed consisting of nothing but ‘HA HA HA HA HA HA…” until word count was reached?
If I were the gloating kind I’d be gloating. I mean, what sort of arsehat upgrades their production device on release day?
davepell The two categories of the moment:
1. People who can function in the real world.
2. People who have already upgraded to iOS 6.
By the way, I just had an epiphany under the shower.
@snurb_dot_info @DavidParis What’s wrong with policies based on Joe Hockey’s dreams? It could be quite refreshing.
@DavidParis Oh dear. And now I know you speak the truth. This makes me a little afraid to go into Katoomba today. I’ll carry a stick.
@DavidParis I’ll take that as a yes. SOME OF US HAVE MOVED ON SINCE 1973.
I’m just asking questions.
So is @DavidParis’ new avatar an admission that The Greens make up policy by sitting in a dark stereo-equipped room pulling bongs?
politicoroger It’s over. RT @BuzzFeedAndrew Mitt Romney points at a man’s socks. via the AP pic.twitter.com/1oRh6h9m
I am rapidly reaching the conclusion that the Australian Medical Association is run by brainless mutants from the planet Zoerg XV.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: I wonder if Tony Abbott will administer discipline to Cory Bernardi in other ways?
Medical science is dodgy. More than half of biomedical findings cannot be reproduced. http://t.co/gc0Xzxwi HT @barrysaunders
Another well-reasoned comment against ABC’s takedown notice re Python-iView. http://t.co/ApWJhGs9 Ping @abcmarkscott
@wolfcat Thank you. That was a wonderfully quiet misty morning, and so very fleeting.
Thu plan: Address comms and planning backlog, some of it over lunch in Katoomba; shopping; evening TBA. A much-needed low-stress day. #adn
Here’s some of the photos I’ve taken while living at @bunjaree. http://t.co/XfgYBO1m My favourite is http://t.co/bv7R4Kdq
Surprisingly, there’s still plenty of room at @bunjaree for the school holidays. Wentworth Falls in spring is lovely. bunjareecottages.com.au
Arr I really like the new minimalist design of iOS6- it’s just an Apple logo and a little progress bar that never moves
Pundamentalism QUICK ANSWER NEEDED: Is iOS 6 pronounced ‘eye-oss six’ or ‘eye-oh-ess six’. Baby due any moment and want to settle on a name.
SnarkyPlatypus Cory Bernardi does really look like some washed up 80s teens star with a fangirl as his wife. Should work with this meme.
@paulwallbank No, @SupratimA and I just happened to agree on certain matters of relative news value. He is a giant among editors.
@paulwallbank 1. @SupratimA always pays on time. 2. Germaine with an E would NEVER disappoint. (Get THAT image out of your head, folks!)
robcorr So MLC receives about $6.6 million in government funding, and makes $3.6 million *profit*. I can think of better ways to invest in education
The editor of @technologyspec is a handsome and intelligent man who deserves all the compliments he gets.
paulwallbank ROFL United Airlines want my feedback from the SYD-SFO flight. Well here it is — Riding the zombie skies bit.ly/RZhrP1
@firstdogonmoon Dare you. Bet you $20 it’d work, too.
RT @intrepidfear: 3 of the 6 screens look like they are used for de-motivational slogans. [HOW ELSE WILL WE DEFEAT THE HACKERS YOU FOOL.]
I was in that Symantec Security Operations Centre (SOC) yesterday, and that chap is apparently an actual engineer.
Want to know how Symantec protects us from the hackers? Like this. http://t.co/UW0nAc3G
@TaraMacca @SnarkyPlatypus Plus there’s good work coming out of News Ltd, as well as bad. Just like everywhere else. Tribalism is bad.
@TaraMacca @SnarkyPlatypus I’d assume that “News Ltd Journo” is just part of their re-organisation to a unified cross-masthead news desk.
SnarkyPlatypus I see the Daily Telegraph continues to write bad fanfic about itself. You’re no 50 Shades of Grey, Daily Telegraph.
@SnarkyPlatypus Je me réfère à mon tweet peu de choses sur l’attente d’un éditeur.
ThePoke Microsoft CEO to personally apologise to last remaining Internet Explorer user.
ow.ly/dPkDv
That said, I’d ever imagine that someone called Joe could have an ego problem and show off for the big boss. That’d be auto-satire. #adn
5. “Animals splashed as Chairman Murdoch tours Bad News outpost,” writes @crikey_news. Trolls. Joe. Victory. See? http://t.co/1JfpTKuI #adn
4. But wait. “We need to talk about Joe,” writes @jonaholmesMW. “Joe, believe it or not, it’s not about you.” http://t.co/HOjwqOM1 #adn
3. “A brief history of trolls and the dismal failure of The Telegraph’s campaign” by @maninultimo. Goodness. http://t.co/MWHiD4Gh #adn
2. Note that the story was written by something called “Joe Hildebrand”. No, I don’t know either. But we’ll come back to that shortly. #adn
1. The Daily Telegraphy claims “a major victory in the war on net trolls”, the modest souls. http://t.co/5NAfvSel HT @latikambourke #adn
And now, a series of five tweets about the Daily Telegraph’s ludicrous #StopTheTrolls campaign of arsehattery. Stand by. #adn
RT @glengyron: I’ll put the stock on for the soup shall I? [Yes please. I think that puppy’s a goner.]
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis m’amuser avec l’allitération, parce que je n’ai pas un chiot pour coups de pied. Et vous?
Awaiting an awake editor to weight my work brainwaves and save my schedule. [Tweet best read aloud.]
0615, and I’m already banging my head onto the table. It’s going to be one of those days. The puppy’s future is starting to look uncertain.
Hello, Thursday. Be nice or the puppy gets it.