Thud. Gone.
So I’m back at @bunjaree and pantsless and horizontal and filled with a complete absence of giving a fuck about whatever you’re on about.
@Duds @gattaca @myrcurial “Scaremongering”? I’d have thought the podcast does the exact opposite of scaremongering by hosing down the hype.
Today’s daft idea: trying to photograph coal at night with no lighting on a phone camera. I am an arsehat.
Hauled coal! instagr.am/p/RcdoRGCFjd/
Hauling coal! instagr.am/p/RcdaUXiFjS/
Approaching coal! instagr.am/p/RcdQOGiFjM/
Alight instagr.am/p/RcdIqxCFjI/
Intel has a lot to answer for.
@John_Sots YOU ARE DEXSTROYING THE MAGIC.
@jeamland No, this is a 4-bit train. They only run 8-bit trains at peak times.
Proxy train (you either get it, or someone gets it on your behalf) instagr.am/p/RcZkCtCFhX/
How trains work instagr.am/p/RcYgzLCFhB/
@nikt50 You are very naughty and failing to use scroll bars and stuff, but I’m on the train back to Wentworth Falls.
Oh do try to keep up.
Yes I caught the train and we’re currently at Blaxland but thankfully that will end in a few seconds.
No no no no no no 2100 train run run run run.
Penruff! instagr.am/p/RcUmUNCFvQ/
Fuck! Spiders! No! Get away from me! instagr.am/p/RcUCF5iFvA/
Scene of the cri… No, not crime. Shut up. instagr.am/p/RcTpF8iFu2/
@mrgrumpystephen Yeah you’ve been told! @JohnBirmingham
Oh. Yeah. The intro to “Six Months in a Leaky Boat”. Kill me.
It goes on and on.
What is this pretentious shit?
SINCE WHEN HAVE THERE BEEN DANCE MOVES TO THIS SONG I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT BOYISH FACE AND BLOND HAIR WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Oh. He knows the lyrics.
Rootable bomb technician is turning up the volume. Yeah well there’s that fantasy ruined.
IRON MAIDEN!
OH, after Apple TVC: “I don’t understand any of that.” “It’s an iPod.” ‘Yeah? I’m a radio man… No matter where you go you can listen.”
RT @chieftech: I suppose they think Depeche Mode only wrote 1 song & are Australian too? [Well yes, der.]
ThePoke Lets all take a moment to appreciate the Star Wars Episode VII Wikipedia entry before it gets changed. pic.twitter.com/yeMXeRjH
OH: “Remember this song on the dance floor at Panthers? Awesome!”
OH: “Aussie respect!” “Um, Duran Duran aren’t Australian.” “Sorry, I was thinking of Dragon.” ‘Yeah they’re not Australian either.”
Yeah just one more.
HUNGRY LIKE LIKE THE WOLF!
OH: “MAKE LIKE A YABBIE!” Oh, this is going downhill SO fast.
@dmflower @liamberkery We’re such a help, aren’t we.
“I’ve been on a couple of dates, and there was never an awkward moment. It’s good to know it just works.” What? Ecstasy?
RT @AttardMon: Richo talking to Alan Jones on Sky. [DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS!]
@liamberkery @dmflower Well played.
Oh hello.
OH: “Melbourne is so old, if it has an earthquake it’s fucked.”
flashman @robcorr TSA official at LAX to my friend: “You’re declaring lollies? Terrorists eat lollies, in America we eat candy.”
dmflower #qf1 just landed safely back in syd. Fumes in the cabin, turned back 90 mins out. Dumped fuel, med staff meeting the pax. Fire trucks escort
No. Must suppress that thought. I’m not in Adelaide any more.
Mind you…
I should have replied, “What about club you to death with it?” Except, you know, rootability.
Curious thing, though. He’d already upgraded to Windows Phone 8 and was evangelising it at me. “It can do anything your MacBook Pro can!”
Yeah I should probably delete that tweet before he comes back.
I mean, here’s a phrase I never thought I’d think: “rootable bomb technician”.
I’m learning so much tonight.
eGLIDE has natural electrolytic action resulting in permanent unwanted hair removal and comes with tweezers and a free Genie Bra to keep.
This evening’s themes: inaccurate female dentists; the MISTARIES of cigarette machines; someone called Al; antique bomb disposal.
@bigmac Serious ethical problems right there.
Tony Abbott’s Body Language Tutorial #34 and #35. http://t.co/8SZOgAJT http://t.co/TaKKZSKz HT @robcorr
“Wheat export deregulation Bill passes Lower House”? Yeah thanks, Senator Ludwig, this is a real pants-off moment!
\990–y90-k,l.;’
“You essential Foo Fighters versus Muse”? Oh MTV…
Ah, three simple words: Check against delivery.
@eldonnn @drearyclocks I still don’t know what SMO is.
FUCK YOU COLDPLAY.
On MTV just now: “Here’s the chance for your teenage dreams to come true!” Oh, dear people, you have no idea. Truly.
This all began around 11am with a plan to get errands done in Penrith. It’s now after 7pm and I’m 40km from my bed. Why?
No, never mind.
Unless…
Dear Pub Automation System, when two blokes have been standing at the urinal for a few moments, that’s not a signal to dim the lights.
@eldonnn @drearyclocks So? Writers learn by exposing their writing to readers. You began by saying the ideas need wider audience. Do it!
@eldonnn I’ll admit I file this under “obvious and easy” ‘cos I live and breath this stuff. But this ain’t rocket science.
@eldonnn So here’s a radical idea. Let the students do the day-to-management and they can learn how to maintain an online presence.
That photo doesn’t really show how HUGE this barramundi is.
Hi, Barry! instagr.am/p/RcF2inCFqe/
@CassPF Suddenly realising I have no qualifications whatsoever. Though I was a member of the ACS for a while.
RT @bigmac: Ian Thorpe isn’t gay.
@eldonnn Seriously, I’ve done “register new internet domain” to “WordPress installed and configured” in 45 minutes. It’s trivial.
@eldonnn Yes. And an in-house blog would take precisely 45 minutes to set up. Why does this not happen?
Oh Christ.
@eldonnn “SMO”? None of these make sense in context. http://t.co/FXYaE1KP
@eldonnn Please tell him indoors that some people face gunfire while getting their drinking water each morning so get a fucking grip.
@stufromoz @kcarruthers @RealNickHodge Get fucked.
@CassPF Nah, I think that’s precisely the occasion you use them. “Dear Minister, I really know the fuck what I’m talking about, OK?”
RT @gilfer: Lotus Notes is like the Amish of email.
TWEETING ALL THE CODE WORDS.
Open letter to Attorney-General Roxon from @jloidl (Jarrod Loidl B.Comp, SCF, CISM, CRISC, CISSP, CPT) http://t.co/LOvN607a #NatSecInquiry
@chriskkenny @markatextor @MichaeCarey @leighsales If any trick or treaters make it to @bunjaree, well, I know how to dig a shallow grave.
And I know why. Shoosh.
OH: “Yeah well that’s because you’ve had that rabbit too close to you.”
@RealNickHodge The thing that differentiates me from @mpesce is that I add AND THIS IS FUCKING SCARY YOU FOOLS!
@joshgnosis Ah, this world is effing tiny, young man, and it shrinks daily. And we’ve only seen the start of it.
RT @suren_senat: @chriskkenny WHO has issued a warning about virulent new disease called Selective Moral Outrage (SMO).
@joshgnosis I’m in Penrith. He seems to be shift-managing the Australian Arms Hotel. We’ve just been chatting while he was on break.
@SnarkyPlatypus @johnthelutheran Mind you, economy (GDP) of NSW is $320 billion. NSW expenditure is ~$60 billion. It’s not THAT bad.
@Dewey2000 @snerdish @josefajardo Sounds like I should do a “Patch Monday” podcast on massive parallel and what to do with 48 cores.
@joshgnosis David Gary says hi.
Oh. And One Direction. http://t.co/mYzhbi6z
MTV in 2012: An endless loop of Gangnam Style and Coldplay. THIS IS YOUR PLANET, HUMANS. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. http://t.co/X0iRu0d6
Which billion dollars? Oh THAT billion dollars. Well, that’ll come in handy, eh! Luv ya, NSW! Arsehats. http://t.co/G94bNuPW
@snerdish @josefajardo Massively parallel programming doesn’t have to be a solved problem. All the cores can be doing different things.
d_fienberg I won’t act on the email with the subject “Sayonara Tummy Flab,” but I do have a new name for my J-Pop band.
RT @josefajardo: “Intel working on 48-core chip for smartphones, tablets” http://t.co/lyZZbGxH [You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet!]
Excise all the things! Tow it outside the environment! http://t.co/eHa5wSdw Ping @Jeff_Sparrow @citizen_cam
RT @Jeff_Sparrow: Clearly, the best response to climate change is to excise the whole of Australia from the climate. [This has merit.]
GordyPls There is no IT skills shortage, just hiring managers bewildered that nobody will do challenging roles at below market rate wages.
RT @leslienassar: Back to the airport, and back to Sydney. instagr.am/p/Rb5xJxvgnq/ [Lovely, lovely photo, Leslie!]
@markatextor @leighsales @chriskkenny Keep those Dad Jokes coming, boys and girls! ;)
@SnarkyPlatypus Je me réfère à la ville de Penrith, et j’ai été obligé d’organiser un dispositif tubulaire portable. TUBE ALLOYS.
@leighsales @chriskkenny @markatextor Please consider. http://t.co/r9AOqI7C
RT: Me at @technologyspec: “Keeping ‘Cybergeddon’ at bay”, quoting @myrcurial @gattaca and Alan Paller. http://t.co/oxUPSlrx
There needs to be a new website, unicornornetworkengineer.com
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Et puis-je offrir mes meilleurs voeux de la ville fantôme de l’Ouest Extra-Atmosphérique. Je suis bien. Et vous?
@hollingsworth @grantyoung Indeed, though my schedule is chaos over the next month or so.
@mclayfield @Davidramli @crikey_news Indeed. I reckon daily-news journos stress too much about TODAY’S NEWS. A good read is a good read.
phbarratt Think Law of the Sea should be amended to provide that economic zone extends 200 miles out from the migration zone rather than the coastline
@Davidramli @mclayfield Everything at @crikey_news emerges from the paywall after a delay. I think it’s 14 days.
@TelstraMedia Not at all. For 21 months now I’ve been spending about half my time at @bunjaree near Wentworth Falls. bunjareecottages.com.au
Thanks to Nguyen at Telstra’s T-Shop in Penrith, I have what I was after. Within the limits. But batteries need to be charged first.
Dead bank instagr.am/p/RbvVquiFgi/
Cybercrime rarer and less costly than we’re told, writes @BernardKeane http://t.co/8us4G2w0
@awrd Thank you. You may eat cake.
Yes.
So, 45 minutes. Does Grindr work out here?
Actually, it’s more like how they dressed in the Gay Men’s Health Unit in 1993.
@hollingsworth @Uber_Sydney @paulwallbank Thanks for the invitation, but I won’t be able to be in Sydney tonight.
RT @jeamland While you’re waiting, here’s what happens when you stick your head in a particle accelerator: http://t.co/Zg8z6PMQ
Why are Telstra Shop employees dressed like a Neutral Bay resident’s idea of what farmers wear?
There’s a 45 minute wait. The smiling man in the green check shirt will text me when it’s my turn.
OH: “How many gigs does this come with?” “One gigabyte.” “That’s a fair bit, isn’t it.” “Yeah…”
I have arrived at Telstra T-Life Penrith. I await service, meanwhile listening.
I don’t know what this is, but it’s $3.50 and I’m putting it in my mouth.
Oh dear.
It’s quite warm down here.
Crossing the Nepean, river not visible at this angle instagr.am/p/RbhULViFmI/
@GreenJ Oh, wrong fairy tale. As you were.
@GreenJ Isn’t there something in there about a slipper?
RT @jeamland: Happicidal! [Now THAT’S a word that describes so many of my waking hours. And most of the sleeping ones.]
Ooh! A few pars of that have been quite substantially rewritten. I’ll read it in a bit, to see whether I’m happy or homicidal.
Me at @technologyspec: “Keeping ‘Cybergeddon’ at bay”, quoting @myrcurial @gattaca and Alan Paller. http://t.co/oxUPSlrx
@garystark @djackmanson @GeordieGuy @Wyld @PacketNetworks Your participation has been logged and reported to the appropriate authorities.
Right now I’m on a train to the Telstra Shop in Penrith to check my options. I’ll let you know what I end up doing. Thanks, and stand by.
I’m already a Telstra customer and I already know the strengths and weaknesses of their network for my work habits, I’ll stay with them.
Given the unpredictability of my schedule and this thing already eating into my time and money budgets, I just want to sort it right now.
Thanks for all the feedback, suggestions and offers re mobile broadband. I can’t reply to all, but will outline my decisions and blog later.
Just clarifying the rules of engagement, Red headphones mean you just kill them, right?
“Hipster! Hipster! Hipster! Three o’clock, cream safari suit. Clear to fire, Ma’am?”
It’s a series of Tubes… instagr.am/p/RbXC7BCFsx/
“And what is your street address?” instagr.am/p/RbWSl2iFsD/
Mobile.
@elronxenu Plus I have no data on how well it’ll work when I’m in transit. This is quite an important aspect of performance for me.
@elronxenu That’s my point. 2-3 working day for the Mountains is Monday. I’ll have clocked up a bazillion dollars in overruns by then.
… and using the phone as a modem means not having to carry Yet Another Gadget. That arbitrary 12GB limit is silly. @bastardsheep @Telstra
Part of the issue, @bastardsheep @Telstra, is that I am mobile A LOT and need to use my laptop to produce audio and upload A LOT…
Thanks, @elronxenu, though I don’t think @iiNet could sort their 4G thing today. And I seem to be $50 into data overruns already. Eek!
Wed plan, updated: Snack in Wentworth Falls; 1232 train to Penrith; sort this mobile data arsehattery; late lunch; remainder TBA.
@fivewalls That’s not the most fabulous speed, but Balmain’s high population density and that’s just one data point.
@R_Chirgwin Nah I’ll go to a Telstra Shop. I don’t trust K-Mart to have sufficient Telstra product knowledge to choose my best option.
@garystark If you can DM me what sort of plan, you are on that would be great.
RT @TumblrTXT: Obviously since corrective surgery doesn’t exist there’s no way an average person on the street can tell I’m internally a …
Plus I need the uplink bandwidth for Skype conferencing and sending large files. Plus I’m a Telstra customer so no ID paperwork etc.
Well, @Wyld @bradsprigg, my location changes and I need to work on the Blue Mountains train. I believe Telstra is my only sensible option.
The mobile Wi-Fi doohicky is what I shall get, @PointZeroOne. The nearest Telstra shops are Lithgow or Penrith. So which one for today?
I’ll have to get a mobile broadband device TODAY and split laptop data off to that. Is Telstra’s still the best deal, I wonder?
Uhoh. Halfway through billing cycle and already over mobile data limit. And Telstra won’t provision more than 12GB on a mobile phone…
MT @derekbradley: Pine trees are the worst. If you get the timing right/wrong, it’s a massive golden shower. [Well in that case…]
Dear Plant Kingdom, if I dumped my genetic material all over you like you do to me, I’d be arrested. I know it’s Spring, but please stop.
RT @dermottbanana: @stilgherrian pics on twitter when you do :) [Well obviously, yes.]
Latest spam says “Forget those usual weightloss scams!”, suggests “Let me know when you want to go bikini shopping”. Yeah I’m up for that.
I love the ever-shifting “most popular” list for Patch Monday podcast. Today, “Porn industry innovates itself to death” http://t.co/uvUXiUiS
Story filed for @technologyspec, but not the one @jonoabroad just suggested.
@jonoabroad cat storyold.txt | perl -pe ‘s/\s+/\n/g’ | sort > storynew.txt
Deleting hundreds of words. Rearranging hundreds of other words. Everything is getting much better quite quickly.
OK, I’m editing now. Shut up.
@catscram Although you’re right, “dawn” is technically first light, not sunrise. Mea culpa.
@catscram You’re probably confusing first light with dawn. Sunrise at Wentworth Falls was 0559 AEDT today. I checked. https://t.co/ScyRkXGb
RT @TwistedSifter: Dolphins at Bondi Beach Show Surfers How It’s Done pic.twitter.com/kk8EfXam [Via @Ellinoz.]
Is this Harry Caine guy in New York Michael Caine’s brother?
Wed plan, Part A: Re-edit @technologyspec story; go in search of food that isn’t champagne; develop Wed plan, Part B.
@ZaraBaxter Yeah that was funny. Apparently that commenter harangued the editor at some event about running my socialist propaganda.
@ZaraBaxter I have no idea, but I am making further enquiries.
@ZaraBaxter We are definitely on the same page then.
There’s a Goat Bar?
At least I know which way the PANTSCON scale runs.
@JohnBirmingham SEE WHAT I DID THERE I TRANSLATED TIME FROM AEDT TO AEST AND WORE PANTS AT THE SAME TIME WHY AM I SHOUTING.
@JohnBirmingham WE’VE STEPPED DOWN FROM PANTSCON 1, BIRMINGHAM. YOU’LL BE RELIEVED AT 0630.
I HAVE FOUND MY PANTS.
@ZaraBaxter We’re probably very much on the same page here. I wrote this last year. http://t.co/L3bTIgWt
@ZaraBaxter Shoosh. Don’t do arithmetic. You’ll destroy the narrative. You’re a journalist. Just re-type the media release and add a byline.
@ozdj Are you suggesting that conservative gum-toting neanderthals should be called “gumnuts”? #StopTheGum
The plan will be influenced by the fact that it appears the only food and drink here is a bottle of champagne. I AM MARIE ANTOINETTE.
I still feel dreadful. And it’s an hour after dawn. I guess I’d better decide on my plan for the day. And find my pants.
Whenever you hear someone talking about increasing “engagement”, ask them “Measured in what units, exactly?” and flick off the safety catch.
I wonder if there’s a masthead reporting on emerging internet stuff that isn’t run by Kool-Aid addicts.
Two Apple Maps stories. One real, one not. You decide. A: http://t.co/gMwVnDTi B: http://t.co/uTBZ5X75 -patent-on-ios-maps-integration/
I feel dreadful. And it’s seven minutes until dawn.
Wed plan, draft: Re-edit @technologyspec story and file; deal with client’s webby loose ends; plod thru comms & planning; early night.
@DJBentley That seems a reasonable strategy. [nods]
@DJBentley That said, Nexus 6 has a four-year lifespan, double most other phones.
johnb78 If I were Romney, I’d turn up in Ohio and say “hello my Ohio lovelies, aren’t you glad those Dutch freaks are in the sea?” And touch them.
@SnarkyPlatypus It is a metaphor for our times. Or a euphemism.