Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

March 24th, 2013

RT @semiboganman: Aren’t they made in China? Rubber ducks are APT1 [Shoosh!]

via Janetter for Mac

snurb_dot_info Forget it. Peter Costello is NOT going to PM. He had his chance. RT @stilgherrian: It’s a simple concept. Giant. Mechanical. Duck.

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 8:33 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

And in the Vatican, at least a third of the Cardinals are mow ducks. (Blame Vatican II.) farm6.staticflickr.com/5204/521631235…

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Hang on, hang on, you’re all over-thinking this. It’s a simple concept. Giant. Mechanical. Duck.

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RT @LandcareTim: There is no Prime Minister in the constitution. [Nor local government either. Why do we let them do it again?]

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RT @standupkid: Believe it’s an issue of battery life on the current crop of mechanical ducks. [Westminster system. Has to be clockwork.]

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RT @R_Chirgwin: @WHO would you trust to wind it up? [School children, or perhaps Girl Guides, on a roster.]

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Is there any real reason, practical or constitutional, why we couldn’t just replace the Prime Minister with a giant mechanical duck?

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Wow, there’s this bit off Hawaii where you can see through to the SEKRIT Nazi fatherland INSIDE THE EARTH! goo.gl/maps/Q3UdN

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erinrileyau I traded my feminism for these home-made pork and fennel sausage rolls. I regret nothing pic.twitter.com/gZdiQQUQZi

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:41 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

OK, @witterandbisted @expectproblems @oberonsghost @R_Chirgwin @oliyoung, so the students won’t have done their pre-reading.

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: I don’t know why they don’t do a preferred PM poll between Kevin Rudd and Bronwyn Bishop. [Rule 34?]

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So, these UTS media and comms students tomorrow. How likely are they to have actually read the pre-reading they were set?

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@expectproblems Oh dear God! Finally! You’re going to show me that you’re a real man! Um, hang on.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to expectproblems

michaelneale @stilgherrian @johncarneyau also, biblically, we shouldn’t cook him in his mothers milk.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 7:13 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Does the Prime MInister have an interest in vintage car restoration, by any chance?

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“PM: I didn’t want you in a bunny suit in the heat of the day.” Oh this transcript has some moments of gold!

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From 22/3: “PM: I’ve got an image of you [Kyle] hopping up and down the stairs in Kirribilli – it will be fantastic.”

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SnarkyPlatypus I get creeping sharia confused with creeping sangria. I’m led to believe they’re quite different.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 7:07 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

bernietb Look, Kyle may be a misogynist, but I’ll bet he’s never lectured anyone on it. There’s your difference.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 7:06 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Hang on, @johncarneyau, surely whether Sandilands is halal or not depends on how we kill him?

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So let me get this right. The Prime Minister has turned Kyle Sandilands into a vegetarian for Christmas?

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Hang on. Wrong play.

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Why is that man quoting the Scottish play at me?

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Given that I am now completely and utterly confused, I’m going to open a bottle of Shiraz and deal with me lecture in the morning.

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snurb_dot_info YES. Surely we’ve reached peak crazy. RT @sortius: Tea Party Boycotting Fox News Because It Is Too Liberal ow.ly/jmlhg

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 6:44 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Grasping the salami. Because obviously.

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@JohnBirmingham Sir, we are word-whores. This is how we pay the bills, remember? @aleciasimmonds

via Janetter for Mac in reply to JohnBirmingham

THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY, PEOPLE, AND THIS IS HOW YOU ARE MEANT TO SPEND YOUR SUNDAY NIGHT QUALITY TIME.

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Either that, or a man you’ve never heard of was rude about @wendy_harmer over her article you didn’t read, so go destroy his business NOW.

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BernardKeane What about the sexual politics of eggplant? That’s some fucked-up misogynist shit right there.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:34 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

BernardKeane disappointed @aleciasimmonds overlooked the sausage as the primary weapon of phallocentric cuisino-patriarchalism

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:34 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

As @feed_the_chooks put it. “Perhaps [it] is meant to be funny. Otherwise hipster politics has begun cannibalising itself.”

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In case you’re a few minutes behind the pace, @aleciasimmonds’ “The sexual politics of meat” is the current outrage. dailylife.com.au/news-and-views…

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I want to make a joke about Fibre to the Barbecue, but I think that’d be crossing two different streams of self-righteous outrage.

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RT @Gmelvi: Chook roasting away happily. Great end to a lazy weekend. [Except, possibly, for the chook.]

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I think the important question here is: What would be Clive Hamilton’s guess?

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I bet Hitler used apostrophes correctly at all times.

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@ClintonDucas Or, you know, a casual mistake or English as a second language. Gawd, what a pathetic moral crusade.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ClintonDucas

The constant struggle to feel superior in some way, any way, no matter how superficial, to the Joneses next door.

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I tend to think that the Apostrophe Police make such a big deal ‘cos they don’t actually understand language to any more complex level.

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It seems that @jonkudelka needs to read @johnemcintyre’s “It’s just an apostrophe, people”. baltimoresun.com/news/language-…

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Prediction: Tonight’s news will show some Melbourne folks objecting to free speech ‘cos they didn’t plan ahead and don’t like what was said.

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All these people at Katoomba railway station must be on Day 2 of their package tour ‘cos they’re already wearing their Bondi Beach t-shirts.

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@sylmobile @smperris @mpesce It’s a long way from ‘shroom season. Just consider the weather.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to sylmobile

RT @mpesce: So what’s the problem? [I’ve got the makings for tonight’s stir fry and little else of note.]

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To be honest, if I’m going to tell those UTS students the real truth at 1300 tomorrow, I need about five bad Es for tonight.

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Laughing at the privileged. But shoosh, they’re on Twitter.

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@sylmobile Fraud. Go work for Iran’s Ministry of Defence.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to sylmobile

RT @sylmobile Any Sydney CBD pic requests? [Urinating on the steps of Establishment.]

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OH, man to teenage daughter lingering near shop display: “Step away from EB Games. Step away from the store now.”

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OH, father to 3yo son, Irish accent: “James, go slowly downhill, or you’ll ruin yourself.”

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RT @LandcareTim I was hoping it would be in a Venn diagram [We all were…]

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@samanthamaiden Oh indeed, hence me saying it was an aside. FWIW, I agree that the pure revenge scenario makes sense.

via Plume for Android in reply to samanthamaiden

OH, 15yo girl to boy: “Were you just singing ‘Call me maybe’ to yourself? Ha ha ha ha ha!” He’s visibly shrivelling.

via Plume for Android

@oberonsghost @Adenovir New Maths, My Precious, New Maths. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Math Fortunately our principal wanted us to be numerate too.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to oberonsghost

What also would not amaze me would be so-called Rationalists imagining my last two tweets were a defence of Scientology. Arsehats.

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What would not amaze me would be a heap of so-called Rationalists RTing that disingenuous piece of propaganda as some sort of Wisdom.

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RT @Adenovir: The Venn diagram of irrational nonsense… pic.twitter.com/1Prwc9aCvD [Wow, talk about retro-fitting your taxonomy for politics!]

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“Denial-of-service cottaging”, did I hear that correctly?

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@RoseGWhite Oh it will be. Here’s the outline. stilgherrian.com/media/algorith… Worst-case is that it’s a journey through key items in that material.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to RoseGWhite

Beaker This is my cow. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My cow is my best friend. It is my life… pic.twitter.com/B76z4auSJu

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:17 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@RoseGWhite Indeed, and hey my lecture isn’t until 1300 AEDT tomorrow. And it’s what? 5000 words? On familiar material. Easy peasy.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to RoseGWhite

Is @samanthamaiden’s piece on Rudd really filed under “Entertainment”? A good read, but somehow that seems appropriate for this circus.

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@samanthamaiden I’ve included similar attention-to-detail tests in job selection processes for systems administrators.

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@samanthamaiden An aside, but DLR’s brown M&Ms rider was a test to see if attention was paid to the details of their dangerous stage rig.

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So here in Australia there were “Countdown” after-parties…

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I want to nail someone to a church door. Something, I mean. Something.

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davidfarrier the finnish passport isn’t trivial at all - it’s a flipbook!

youtube.com/watch?v=_LXxlX…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:46 PM, Mar 24th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@StuartBales But then wire stories are treated with such contempt. [shrugs]

via Janetter for Mac in reply to StuartBales

It’s too nice an afternoon to write a gloomy lecture for UTS students, so I’ll slack off then write it with a stress-filled hangover later.

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@MattCowgill Is that NATSEM income chart pre- or post-tax?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to MattCowgill

Mind you today’s highly-praised article’s central piece of research seems to be whatever Clive Hamilton is guessing. He teaches ethics, BTW.

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Thank you, @TheHoopla, for liberating women everywhere. Bigger fish… twitpic.com/cdux7o

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@ClaireRPorter @lukehopewell The iron-in-the-face trick deserves to be tried on… well… I have a list of names here.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ClaireRPorter

If there’s such a dire shortage of journalism, why were there 5000 journos in Vatican City reporting on the new Pope? Productivity FTL.

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OH, same man: “Things are different now. In the 1970s not everyone had a car.”

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OH, man to (I presume) wife: “Two children is too many. But it’s your choice.”

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Mobile: Walk dirt track then Railway Pde to Wentworth Falls; 1210 train to Katoomba; walk to SEKRIT Sunday roast venue; remainder TBA.

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Sun plan, confirmed: Sunday roast, Katoomba; write tomorrow’s UTS guest lecture (stilgherrian.com/media/algorith…); general irritation with arsehats.

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RT @shoerust: in which @stilgherrian tears me a new one stilgherrian.com/edict/00023/ [And mispronounce you, which I spotted too late. Sorry.]

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From last night, “The 9pm Bus Ride”. (Disclosure: Contains very little bus.) stilgherrian.com/edict/00023/

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RT @SallyRMelb: Hospices are marvellous places, much more life happening in them than on Macca [Oh so very true.]

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Thanks, @R_Chirgwin, I see DAFF lists the 1960s drought as running 1963-68 and “widespread”. daff.gov.au/_media/documen… @oberonsghost

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@kaydeeye An interesting suggestion, but I see there isn’t a train to Orange until tomorrow morning.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to kaydeeye

@sylmobile @R_Chirgwin @Drag0nista “Macca”runs the broadcast radio equivalent of a hospice.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to sylmobile

@thomasking I’m not sure I understand the purpose of your question. Do/say as who or about what?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to thomasking

And let’s face it, 2016 isn’t TOO far into the century.

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“The NBN is ensuring that we have the infrastructure for this century that our nation needs.” Well, some time this century I suppose.

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“NBN coming to the Far North Coast of NSW”, said the PM in Murwillumbah yesterday. Erm, in 2015-16. Desperation, eh? pm.gov.au/press-office/n…

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@oberonsghost @R_Chirgwin Oh I’m sure the Bureau of Meteorology and/or Aust Bureau of Statistics has what I need. Just need to find it.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to oberonsghost

This week I ignored the entire Labor leadership idiocy and just watched “The Thick of It” Rise of the Nutters specials. Same thing.

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Wondering whether to have Sunday roast in Katoomba, or whether there’s another nearby option. Is there a good roast in Lithgow?

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@R_Chirgwin Indeed, and yet I want to verify my own childhood drought experience for a forthcoming blog post. Oh well, another time…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@misseagle Again, it’s the Circle of Life, really, eh? Farmers are good at whinging about things changing.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Je résisterai à l’envie de faire une autre blague sur les vaches.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@joshgnosis I’m pretty sure that @R_Chirgwin really IS the Hate Media.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

Australia’s longest drought 1958-67? Orly? 5M people affected, 40M livestock lost. home.iprimus.com.au/foo7/droughthi… Seeking more info… @R_Chirgwin

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In our own case, South Australia had a long drought thru the 1960s (had to buy food) and farm was a fraud victim. @R_Chirgwin

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In 1960s, herringbone and bulk handling (milk cans out, tanks in) needed investment beyond mum’n’dad farms <100 milking head. @R_Chirgwin

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@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je me perdre dans des images mentales de rotation des vaches. Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Even more labour-efficient, @R_Chirgwin, the rotary dairy. teara.govt.nz/en/diagram/185… Turntable Cows! Make some noise!

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Presenting the herringbone dairy, @R_Chirgwin teara.govt.nz/en/diagram/185… Two workers can milk several hundred cows an hour.

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Amused by 400-head herringbone dairy farm whinging of unprofitability. They destroyed family farms in 1960s and 70s. Circle of life.

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That said, @RNBBing still conveys some farm businesses’ impression that they have some sort of right to exist in their current form.

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A fine @RNBBing today on Australia’s Coles-Woolworths supermarket duopoly and its effects on suppliers. abc.net.au/radionational/…

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From last night, “The 9pm Bus Ride” stilgherrian.com/edict/00023/

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What’s really most depressing is that I’ve actually thought of a personal story for the “Trees I’ve Loved” project. Kill me now.

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RT @tamzin_byrne: @stilgherrian - do you not love trees? [I’m not sure how to answer this, Senator McCarthy… ]

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The “Trees I’ve Loved” promo is a parody, right? Right?

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@jayrosen_nyu Ah. Oops. Perhaps I should offer Being a Jerk as a Service (BaJaaS)… *watches lame jokette shrive and die* *crawls* *dies*

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@jayrosen_nyu The problem with your social media guidelines is that for some people this is their business model. Noting this for a friend.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jayrosen_nyu

Sun plan, unordered: Write UTS guest lecture (stilgherrian.com/media/algorith…); Sunday lunch; general irritation with arsehats.

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Sunday. Happy birthday, Democracy, invented on this day in 1664.

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