Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

April 1st, 2013

StilCyber cyber-Stupid-bearded cyber-whiney cyber-addled-brained cyber-crap

via Cyber Stilgherrian (retweeted on 9:31 PM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Plume for Android)

@SnarkyPlatypus Oh. Google informs me that it’s spelled with a J. Vajazzle. Vaginas are not my strong point.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@michaelmeloni Gawd, getting to an RSL is a considerable logistic effort, involving pants and everything.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to michaelmeloni

But I wanted you to be in that other movie… :( [Sulks]

via Janetter for Mac

Now I did have a vague plan that went “Cook dinner”, but that’s being replaced with “Nah, fuck that”.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @snerdish Empirical evidence required. Start hurling them off Echo Point one at a time. Use a spreadsheet. [Good advice.]

via Plume for Android

OH, bloke on phone: “No, [REDACTED] won’t be there. He’s got to make a statement to the police about the stabbing.”

via Plume for Android

Boarding. How many of these tourists am I allowed to kill before I threaten the stability of the local economy?

via Plume for Android

@SnarkyPlatypus What’s this about Samantha Brett and anal bleaching?

via Plume for Android in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Mobile. Have been for a while. Katoomba station; 1726 train to Wentworth Falls; bottle shop; cab to @bunjaree; all the pork; all the wine.

via Plume for Android

“Here, let me whiten your cavity.”

via Plume for Android

RT @Esmertina maybe the advanced whitening chemicals and the anti cavity chemicals explode when combined? [One can only hope.]

via Plume for Android

@scottcarson1957 Indeed, and that sort of thing goes back to WWII. Rebranding to justify new budgets.

via Plume for Android

No, belay that, there is no problem, and nobody had to be killed. By and large.

via Plume for Android

Why do we even have different kinds of toothpaste? “Advanced whitening” or “Maximum cavity protection”? Do both!

via Plume for Android

Orwell based Nineteen Eighty-Four’s Ministry of Love on a prophetic dream involving a trip to a supermarket, I’m sure.

via Plume for Android

Right. I’ve been in the supermarket for nearly 10 minutes now. I haven’t killed anyone yet. No promises, though.

via Plume for Android

Stupid-bearded whiney addled-brained crap folk “music” busker die die die.

via Plume for Android

Pro Tip: If you don’t know the meaning of a word, you can use the internet to find out.

via Plume for Android

@scottcarson1957 I had that exact conversation with @RidT. “Cyberwar”? Yeah call me when someone sprains their elbow. zdnet.com/cyberwar-dont-…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

Subtweeting is “prissy”, apparently. What an arsehat.

via Janetter for Mac

@scottcarson1957 “Shrill” is the word for cybers, yes. Matthew Prince: DDoS is “essentially like nuclear bombs”! Yup. gizmodo.com/5992652

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

@scottcarson1957 Oh thanks. That’s actually slightly disappointing. I’d Googled for “strange woman and rainbow”.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

@scottcarson1957 Out of those, “potential isometric battlespace” is clearly the winner. Can we work “cyber” into it somehow?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

Dear Internet, I need to know what this woman is waiting for. What will happen next? chud.com/wp-content/upl…

via Janetter for Mac

@dobes Fuck, and I mean this with the utmost respect, off.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to dobes

RT @jackiemacd: Finish this sentence: To me, Spring Break means _______. [… some daft parochial thing that Americans think is important.]

via Janetter for Mac

newswithnipples If you think “dude shouts at people on the bus and everyone ignores him” is news, you should probably catch more buses.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:10 PM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@scottcarson1957 I was gloriously confused by your tweet until I realised that, for you, NRL is not National Rugby League. A shame. [Sulks.]

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

OH: “I’ve had heaps of treatment, eh.”

via Janetter for Mac

StilCyber cyber-

via Cyber Stilgherrian (retweeted on 3:05 PM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Beaker “Antipodean hater?!” I’ll have you know I’m all for gay marriage! :/

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:59 PM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Ah, happy days, eh @ArmsControlWonk? Curtis LeMay would’ve sorted out a few things!

via Janetter for Mac

RT @ArmsControlWonk I had forgotten that Curtis LeMay ran for Vice-President on the ticket with George Wallace. Ugly. pic.twitter.com/2d4UcklQ2d

via Janetter for Mac

Yeah I know it could be better, but we live in desperate times.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @jclacherty: Seed damn it! Seed! [Oh yeah, I was watching that movie the other day. Way hot.]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @shiftkey: bus trips are always terrible. fact. [Oh you poor delicate precious fuckin’ petal!]

via Janetter for Mac

@bubandbob Nah you would’ve been fine, the police have to feed you while in custody.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to bubandbob

See, folks? @GeordieGuy and I are as one. Like that, we are. [Makes the “we’re like that” gesture with fingers.]

via Janetter for Mac

GordyPls Seriously if someone starts about bloody Chinese and fat seppos on your bus, just break their jaw. Word will get around that it’s dangeous.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:47 PM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@bubandbob Oh well in those circumstances it’s usually just quicker to punch them out. These old ladies go down pretty quickly.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to bubandbob

I notice that most people’s problem isn’t that the racism exists, but they’re being exposed to it during the sanctity of a bus journey.

via Janetter for Mac

Oh bah, @bubandbob! You’re not “stuck” on a bus. It has doors. You have a mouth with which to speak. Do something about it.

via Janetter for Mac

But that’s the thing about public transport. It’s used by the public. Even members of the public that aren’t as fucking wonderful as you.

via Janetter for Mac

So apparently Sydney’s buses are some sort of parallel reality where, until now, the racism endemic to Australia has never been seen before.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @feed_the_chooks: But what if they’re Gods? [That’s like asking “But what if Tony Abbott were an enormous basalt penguin?”]

via Janetter for Mac

Why are you retweeting celebrities? What is WRONG with you?

via Janetter for Mac

True, @sroc, there is only one way to find out… Has anyone got a felt-tip marker?

via Janetter for Mac

RT @michaelmeloni: America now has a 42 year delay switch for TV [Oh nice work, Sir!]

via Janetter for Mac

I wonder what would happen if you appeared in American media with “the f-bomb” and “the c-bomb” written on your exposed nipples?

via Janetter for Mac

Ah, America! Shoot ‘em in the head? Sure. Show a nipple or “drop the f-bomb”? OMFG NO END OF CIVILISATION. It’s so sweet, @romenesko.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @romenesko: Ken Tucker unleashed! He drops the f-bomb in his debut Grantland piece about late-night TV talk-shows. es.pn/10qBu8h

via Janetter for Mac

johnb78 “Beat Your Way to the Top: Masturbation as a technique for business success” amzn.to/10qYS5w

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 1:54 PM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@KathyReid I’m pleased that @linuxaustralia has a policy for serving vodka to infants.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to KathyReid

RT @cheshireb: add some gin and I am sold [Is is appropriate to serve gin to 4-year-olds?]

via Janetter for Mac

@no_filter_Yamba The “gentleman” wore shoes indicating that he has the means to cover the slight extra cposty, should he choose.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to no_filter_Yamba

@Larrydlibrarian I’m not fond of it either, but that’s what our rail-borne social commentator said. He seemed a bit… unreconstructed.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Michael_Jongen

Fortunately the barman is displaying the improvisational skills that make Australia proud: 2/3 glass apple juice, 1/3 soda water.

via Janetter for Mac

Meanwhile, at the other end of the spectrum, some doting father’s little prince is rejecting his apple juice because it isn’t sparkling.

via Janetter for Mac

OH: “Can I just have two VBs and some hot chips?”

via Plume for Android

CORRECTED OH: “I hate to say it, but all the country pubs are now run by retired city poofters. Running a pub used to be respectful [sic].”

via Plume for Android

Sorry, Android doesn’t seem to know the word “poofters”.

via Plume for Android

OH: “They all see pubs just as a business. The days when pubs didn’t worry whether they made money are long gone.”

via Plume for Android

OH: “I hate to say it, but all the country pubs are now run by retired city proffers. Running a pub used to be respectful [sic].”

via Plume for Android

Bird Droppings as a Service.

via Plume for Android

@feed_the_chooks @Drag0nista @R_Chirgwin Berries, often, though I seem to remember various garden products come as blue pellets.

via Plume for Android in reply to feed_the_chooks

@feed_the_chooks @Drag0nista @R_Chirgwin According to that renowned vet Dr Google, blue bird droppings mean the bird ate something blue.

via Plume for Android in reply to feed_the_chooks

Mobile: Walk dirt track then Railway Pde to Wentworth Falls; 1310 train to Katoomba; lunch and writing at The Old City Bank; shopping; back.

via Janetter for Mac

Introducing the TED-O-Matic, by @VanityFair: “Nine easy steps to your own audience-flattering TED talk.” vanityfair.com/culture/2013/0…

via Janetter for Mac

@lukehopewell Indeed, so have you considered a career in the Iranian Ministry of Defence? Also, loved your work on @DownloadABC recently.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lukehopewell

Now here’s some quality jernalisms from @lukehopewell, my hero. ;) gizmodo.com.au/2013/04/10-aus…

via Janetter for Mac

@joshgnosis @lukehopewell Time, that cruelest of cruel masters, will soon crush every last particle of that optimism from your mind.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

Also me at @CSO_Australia, “Microsoft’s Melbourne tests confirm: counterfeit software a security risk” cso.com.au/article/457442…

via Janetter for Mac

Me at @CSO_Australia: “Trend Micro’s new paradigm: old (but good) advice in a new bottle” cso.com.au/article/457719…

via Janetter for Mac

RT @jny: GUYS, APRIL FOOL’S ISN’T FUNNY. FUCKING STOP IT, OKAY?! [“OMFG THERE’S SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET I DON’T LIKE MAKE IT STOP.” Lol.]

via Janetter for Mac

@joshgnosis @lukehopewell I am, of course, bitterly disappointed that you didn’t man up and accept my wager. ;)

via Janetter for Mac

No screenshot, @misswired, but Google News still shows it. google.com.au/search?q=kogan… So, how to view their cached copy…?

via Janetter for Mac

So that’s what responsible adults do when the make a mistake, yeah? They exile it to Room 404? Gosh. I live and learn.

via Janetter for Mac

@mpesce I was wondering why I was feeling all warm and self-satisfied this morning.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

@joshgnosis @lukehopewell BTW, I have a really, really shit track record for public bets like this. Ask @ paulwfletcher.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

@joshgnosis @lukehopewell I think you’re being generous, Josh. $20 says they got fooled and ran it straight.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

snooplady Are they even engaged? @newscomauHQ Mining magnates Andrew Forrest and Gina Rinehart have outlined their blueprints for populating the north

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:44 AM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@mpesce I have already seen your pseudo-dragonfly drones following me, but I have dealt with them.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

@andrew_hedge @891adelaide Not the actual bulletin, but we did have the synth read that morning’s stories as an example.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to egadheg

RT @chrisjrn: they’d won what? [Sorry, won the rights to host the first official bullfights in the southern hemisphere.]

via Janetter for Mac

… And yet had a single journalist anywhere phoned the number on the press release, it wouldn’t been answered “5KA Newsroom”. Glory!

via Janetter for Mac

… It led every radio news bulletin and morning talk show. The Opposition denounced it. In Question Time the Premier said they’d stop it…

via Janetter for Mac

… They sent a press release to all OTHER outlets from “the newly-formed Australian Bullfighting Federation” saying Adelaide had won it…

via Janetter for Mac

I think the best Australian April Fool’s hoax was (then) Radio 5KA, in 1980s when South Australia was getting the Formula 1 Grand Prix…

via Janetter for Mac

RT @mpesce: Dear @stilgherrian — chillax. [In a single tweet, Mark Pesce signs his own death warrant…]

via Janetter for Mac

@manaz_d Thanks heaps. On OS X my last-resort option is screenscraping the video with Snapz Pro X. ambrosiasw.com/utilities/snap…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to manaz_d

We had someone explaining tech, newsreader saying he was glad to be retiring, union rep railing against job losses. Opened talkback. Win.

via Janetter for Mac

My best April Fool’s was on @891adelaide. 0830 lead story was ABC newsreaders to be replaced with voice synthesis to remove unintended bias.

via Janetter for Mac

@joshgnosis @jendudley I’m just sulking ‘cos I didn’t get time to set up my April Fool’s story. But hey, I’ll do it for next year.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

I’m looking at you, @joshgnosis @jendudley! Bah!

via Janetter for Mac

Dear Everyone, if YOU see an April Fool’s trick, don’t immediately spoil it. The ENTIRE FUCKING POINT is to see who gets fooled. Shoosh!

via Janetter for Mac

SnarkyPlatypus PSA: It is April Fool’s Day. Treat every story like it was written by Michelle Grattan.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 9:08 AM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

6 I’m sure every specialized, arcane field has facepalmy film moments, but here’s @hackaday’s top-10 film hack fails:
warrantless.tumblr.com/post/467904597…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:00 AM, Apr 1st, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@riskybusiness @Colvinius And we need to remember that Clark is not exactly a disinterested party in this argument. ;)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

@riskybusiness @Colvinius I’ll have to read it, and then re-listen to Clark, to clarify the shades between “use of force” and “act of war”.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

@riskybusiness @Colvinius Hah! Indeed, Spamhaus vs CyberBunker is really cyberroadrage. Or something. Cyberarsehattery.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

@riskybusiness @Colvinius I recall Clark saying one key issue with Stuxnet was that Iran didn’t call it as an act of war, so it wasn’t?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

@riskybusiness @Colvinius I haven’t read the Tallinn Manual yet. ccdcoe.org/249.html Does it differ much from Clark’s presentation?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

@riskybusiness Oh do try to keep up, Patrick! I sent @Colvinius and @mattcdef2000 those links MINUTES ago!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

Oh this is terrible. I now have FAR too many sarcastic comments noted down, and they can’t ALL be worked into my @technologyspec yarn. Poo.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Serious question - is Richard Torbay still lost in the void? [Is he still missing? That doesn’t bode well.]

via Janetter for Mac

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 @RidT Well, he went to Harvard Business School for his sensitivity training, can we use that as an explanation? ;)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@franksting @Colvinius Bah. I was outed when I was 17yo. Oh wait.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to franksting

The best thing about a Monday being the day before returning to work, not Sunday? NO FUCKING INSIDERS!

via Janetter for Mac

@R_Chirgwin @Colvinius @mattcdef2000 @RidT Look, we both know internet engineers. “Brave” is pushing it. “Plucky” just sounds wrong.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

Is the French for “cornerstone” really “pierre angulaire”? Dear L’Académie Française, that’s a bit merde.

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus Donc, nous sommes, comme toujours, d’accord. [Je hoche.] Ce qui me plaît. Rien ne peut vous tromper.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@R_Chirgwin @Colvinius @mattcdef2000 @RidT So this will aways be “biggest ever attack”; we must build on that. “Brave engineers saved us!”?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin @Colvinius @mattcdef2000 @RidT Once The Official Media Narrative is set, the frame of the narrative can’t be changed.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin @Colvinius @mattcdef2000 @RidT Same as when “China hijacked 15% of global internet traffic” zdnet.com/inside-the-int…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@SnarkyPlatypus Comme M. Johnson a dit: “Si vous êtes devenu fatigué de cocktails, alors vous êtes devenu fatigué de la vie.”

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@Colvinius Yes, that drink is long overdue. When will we be able to give your new organ a workout?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

RT @ColvinsKidney: I’m fine, but you scared the crap out of the colon. [Please insert a talking-out-your-arse joke here? @Colvinius]

via Janetter for Mac

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 @RidT The best? Matthew Prince’s “[DDoS attacks] are essentially like nuclear bombs.” gizmodo.com/5992652

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 @RidT The hyperbole surrounding this story was astounding, as was journalists’ ignorance of core internet concepts.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@SnarkyPlatypus “En attendant, si votre vie manque vraiment signification vous pouvez m’acheter des cocktails.”

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@SnarkyPlatypus Je ne vois aucun problème à cette situation, mais je vais donner une meilleure traduction. S’il vous plaît attendez.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@mpesce Well, look, YOU try to think of a kind thing to say about Arianna Huffington. It’s not easy!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

Poor @Colvinius. He asked for my opinion on cyberwar before I’ve had my second coffee. I hope that new kidney will hold up.

via Janetter for Mac

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 Finally (unless you’re short of reading), “Will you stop with all your ‘cybering’ already?” zdnet.com/will-you-stop-…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 His presentation was just weeks before @nytimes fingered the US for Stuxnet. Must-listen. nytimes.com/2012/06/01/wor…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 Here’s Robert Clark, operational attorney for US Cyber Command, on this very issue. risky.biz/clarke-army

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 Something like Estonia is “sabotage”, or even Stuxnet against Iran, is really “sabotage” as the closest concept.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@Colvinius @mattcdef2000 Oh all the cyberwords are ugly, but I’m with @RidT. War is >1000 deaths in his patch. zdnet.com/cyberwar-dont-…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

@SnarkyPlatypus En attendant, si vous avez la vie n’a pas vraiment signification vous pouvez m’acheter des cocktails.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@SnarkyPlatypusIl est facile de détruire l’internet. Même une femme de 75 ans originaire de Géorgie peut le faire! telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews…

via Janetter for Mac

Hey @manaz_d, I don’t suppose you happened to get around to trying to dig out the recording of my @ABCNews24 spot from Saturday yet?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to manaz_d

@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. J’ai décidé qu’aujourd’hui, je détruirai l’internet. Il sera sans précédent! Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Hmmm… Sorry, @mattcdef2000 @Colvinius, my attempted portmanteau of “reportage” and “derp” just then was a bit shit.

via Janetter for Mac

BTW, @mattcdef2000 @Colvinius, I’m writing about that (non)-cyberwar for @technologyspec, so do tell me about any quality reporderpage.

via Janetter for Mac

Re-plug: “Algorithms and the Filter Bubble”, my UTS guest lecture (50 mins audio) stilgherrian.com/conversations/…

via Janetter for Mac

RT, from yesterday: Blog Post: “Weekly Wrap 147: Easter rush with added geekery” stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/14…

via Janetter for Mac

Mon plan, draft: A little blogging; a little tidying; Katoomba for lunch, shopping; write for @technologyspec; lazy evening, I hope.

via Janetter for Mac

Thanks, @mattcdef2000 @Colvinius. Generally, any story talking about “cyberwar” is, by definition, wrong. No such animal.

via Janetter for Mac

“How a cyberwar was spun by shoddy journalism”, by @newsbrooke in @guardian. guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/… HT @Colvinius via @mattcdef2000

via Janetter for Mac

Hello. It is Easter Monday and, at least for @mattcdef2000, I am the Touchstone of Truth (along with @NewtonMark). It tickles a bit.

via Janetter for Mac