@darrenpauli Hah! I’ve never been to the place. But I think Silk Road’s gotten way more media coverage than it deserves.
New blog post: “Talking LulzSec and more on ABC Download This Show” @DownloadABC stilgherrian.com/conversations/… Direct link abc.net.au/radionational/…
New blog post: “Talking the dark web (ugh!) on @abcgoldcoast” (5min audio from Tuesday) stilgherrian.com/conversations/…
New blog post: “Talking Facebook’s decline, maybe, on ABC @774melbourne” (8min audio from Monday) stilgherrian.com/conversations/…
@kcarruthers Oh yeah sorry, I can’t be held responsible for the adverts. ;)
@kcarruthers Oh no, you’re confusing me with Cyber Queen Boudigillard. zdnet.com/australias-nat…
@kcarruthers Sorry, what have I done now?
@joannejacobs @kcarruthers @paulwallbank @servantofchaos It was as always an interesting day. Many thoughts triggered. Thanks. #optusvision
@TheNewPhil Hmmm… A bit keyword-spammy, but good luck with the new magazine.
Crossing the Nepean instagram.com/p/YzpO3yCFpj/
Awaiting the departure of the 2009 Lithgow service from Sydney Central station.
So, @SnarkyPlatypus, I hereby coin a word for what the press gallery does: Parlomaths.
@SimonFitz Yes, good to see you again, Simon. Today worked well.
So that means this random SFO number is going to be someone like a driver or a hotel concierge or random corporate PR droid I’ve dealt with.
RT @jasonlangenauer: If you’ve not seen this: branded3.com/blogs/the-anti… [Ah. So Path are just being cunts again. As you were, people.]
I wonder, @SnarkyPlatypus, by what measure the ABC has determined “division” in parliaments. Did they show their working-out?
SnarkyPlatypus “The 43rd parliament has been defined by division” says the ABC. Yes, because all other parliaments have been unified song and dances.
RT @Colvinius: These are fun. What some British historical figures would look like today: telegraph.co.uk/culture/cultur… [Agreed. Nice work.]
@Aitch_El Heh. I understand your point, but it’s not the photos I’m worried about.
OH: “I’m not a fucking parrot!”
@yinettesys Good thinking. I’ll deal with that when I have more battery, bandwidth and care factor.
An SMS from a San Francisco saying someone I’ve never heard of has photos of me on Path, click to download? Yeah right like I’ll do that.
Sinney instagram.com/p/YzVYwniFuQ/
Let them… But #optusvision instagram.com/p/YzT_Z9CFtj/
There’s a goodly number of mobile device management (MDM) and log-all-the-things security people in this room. #optusvision
House lights fading up. #optusvision
kantrn Behold, the singularity! i.imgur.com/nNUPE.gif
Nice work with the pies earlier though. #optusvision #piegate
NO DON’T TAKE MY GLASS AWAY UNLESS YOU REPLACE IT WITH ANOTHER ONE WHAT IT WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. #optusvision
RT @michaelneale: @stilgherrian kids call that “dubstep” [Oh well played.]
Either tinnitus, or my handler has pressed the “wipe” button again.
feed_the_chooks I hope you haven’t worn out your outrage organ.
Playout tune: U2, “Beautiful Day”. #optusvision
End. Applause. @ellenmfanning thanks sponsors. Cocktail time. #optusvision
Alan Kay’s line, “The best way to predict the future is to invent it”, used without credit. #optusvision
Piece of paper #optusvision instagram.com/p/YzNHhQCFqM/
More arithmetic, but with paper instead or teeth or lilypads. #optusvision
To be even clearer, Twitter’s ad revenue is not and has never been $1 billion, or even close. #optusvision
Just to be clear, Twitter’s ad revenue did NOT grow from zero to $1B in 18 months, nor did that chart show this. #optusvision
That photo of a famous actor with an old and very large mobile phone. #optusvision
Lilypads. #optusvision
That graph of Twitter’s ad revenue where some of the years haven’t actually happened yet. #optusvision
That video of a guy using the CD drive as a coffee cup holder. #optusvision
That video of the old German bloke using an iPad as a kitchen chopping board. #optusvision
That video of the 11mo old kid with a physical magazine that doesn’t swipe-gesture properly. #optusvision
Data from mobile phones in “Africa” [where?] plans batter bus routes, 10% more efficient. #optusvision
Nanosensor in blood stream detects proteins that detect incipient heart damage, triggers heart attack ringtone as warning. #optusvision
@mukimu Only if you have access to cheap sedatives.
@mukimu I did. I also made a podcast. stilgherrian.com/edict/00023/
@mukimu So you do know that in Android the button marked “back” really means “screw me over now”?
“What is it now legal to do in three states of the United States?” You’re asking ME? #optusvision
MOAR COREZ. #optusvision
Nanotechnology. #optusvision
Series of apps on smartphones that represent the future. #optusvision
If you don’t know my reference from just before, it’s this. womenlaughingwithsalad.tumblr.com #optusvision
Arithmetic. #optusvision
Zenzizenzizenzic. #optusvision
purserj @snerdish @stilgherrian show me on the doll where the invisible gorilla disrupted you
The stock photography woman laughing with Google Glass looks like she should be laughing with salad. #optusvision
So far, invisible gorilla, trends as invisible gorillas, exponential growth, Netflix as disruptive, House of Cards, big data. #optusvision
RT @leslienassar: @stilgherrian The future is sitting uncomfortably? [Yes, because of the pain down there. You know what caused that.]
Give ‘em grief, @ellenmfanning! #optusvision
Last up, the closing keynote by futurist Jack Uldrich @jumpthecurve jumpthecurve.net/about/ #optusvision
Yeah careful, though, some people are starting to catch on.
@NickRichards15 @bigtincan #optusvision Oh yeah I wouldn’t admit that so quickly. itsanhonour.gov.au/coat-arms/
The Future of Business #optusvision instagram.com/p/YzETr2CFkh/
The Yellow Cube #optusvision instagram.com/p/YzD5WaCFkX/
So is it Optus or a partner who’ll be charged with the misuse of Arms crime? #optusvision instagram.com/p/YzBxiwCFio/
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Spraying balsamic vinegar all over myself #BizarreSexPlay
The problem with “omni-channel” is that every time I hear it I think “omnishambles”. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omnishamb… #optusvision
Kerrie_Murphy So when’s it going to come out that Big Chalk astroturfed this whole DIYrainbow thing?
Tarts as a Service.
Apparently “solutioning” can be a word for some people. #optusvision
Bill Cheng says SingTel has 130,000 IT professionals. They’re 2x to 3x the size of the next biggest player in the region. #optusvision
The Diagram #optusvision instagram.com/p/Yyn-hkiFlR/
Centres of excellence in cloud & data centres, business applications, collaboration, contact centres, BYOD, M2M. #optusvision
Optus’ integration of SingTel NCS, Alphawest into an ICT business in Australia is an interesting strategic move.#optusvision
In the media briefing room with the media and Optus’ senior executives, including SingTel CEO Bill Cheng. #optusvision
This is what responsive PR is all about #optusvision instagram.com/p/YylvlHiFhm/
Like ALL the pies. #optusvision
Let it be noted that Len Rust has eaten all the effing pies in the media work room. #optusvision
RT @robbiekruger: #optusvision come into the big yellow cube and speak to Karen regarding customer experience [Worst. Euphemism. Ever.]
Morning tea, though there’s a media VIP thing in another room with a Thought Leader. #optusvision
kcarruthers Funny how @CommBank innovation is based on putting customer at centre #optusvision
@kcarruthers @RealNickHodge How can you tell? He’s wearing a shirt.
@RealNickHodge I think they’re trying to sell the future. A future with unshaven men in expensive suits.
@oberonsghost I’d love to be in Sudan right now.
GreenJ I’d just like to say that journalistic critiques on gender lines are absurd. But what would I know. I’m a horse. pic.twitter.com/IS1afvAM5T
ikostar I fear that gamification is a thing that’s fallen out of fashion before i’ve managed to figure out what the fuck it actually is
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: #optusvision needs to be more like #Eurovision. That would solve a lot of problems. [Michael Harte in sequins FTW!]
This #optusvision event is being streamed from optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… so there’s no need for me to suffer alone (with 1000 people).
paulwallbank 65% of consumers want a consistent experience while only 12% of businesses deliver. #optusvision
Michael Harte, CIO CBA #optusvision instagram.com/p/Yyf4TFCFpo/
Next up, Michael Harte, CIO Commonwealth Bank of Australia. #optusvision
“At Optus we’re energised about the future, and the possibilities.” #optusvision
End to end. (The Technology Centipede!) #optusvision
Agile. #optusvision
Scalable. #optusvision
Enhance. #optusvision
RT @paulwallbank: @stilgherrian quit whining and just put ‘Telstra’ into the company field. [Oh yes, sorry. #optusvision]
I’m in a good mood this morning, so I won’t get into the two-names-required arsehattery just yet. optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… #optusvision
So, Optus, why is “company” a required field? Can people only exist as cogs in companies? optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… #optusvision #thefuture
I won’t just quote numbers. They’re in this report. optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… #optusvision #regwall
Bah, Optus! Having to register to look at the report? Didn’t you put your logo on it and stuff? #optusvision #everythingisamailinglistyeah
Financial services and education leading in online usage, finance and insurance in mobile, hospoiality and retail in social. #optusvision
Lots of growth predicted, missed the numbers but it’ll be interesting to compare with last year’s numbers. #optusvision
“Organisations are embracing the multi-channel world.” 91% online, 62% social, 46% mobile etc. #optusvision #embrace
John Paitaridis now previewing the “Future of Business” report thing. Factoids follow. Stand by with the drinks. #optusvision
Numbers. So many numbers. Blind them with numbers. #optusvision #factoidsarenotinsights
People holding up their hands to indicate that the internet. #optusvision
Numbers. Big numbers. #optusvision
@SnarkyPlatypus There is no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cu… oh never mind.
RT @nityapadman: #optusvision nice positivisation of VUCA by Bill Chan [So “positivisation” is a word, see?]
RT @MongrelNews: @stilgherrian who brought the shrooms? [I couldn’t possibly comment. #optusvision]
Ancient wisdom, but new like #optusvision instagram.com/p/YycoSNiFk6/
Your mission, should you choose to accept it… #optusvision instagram.com/p/YycffYCFkr/
Journey. #optusvision #drink
“It’s not just about transformation, it’s about thought leadership.” #optusvision
Circle of Life? #optusvision instagram.com/p/YycWkmiFkh/
RT @PeteDotAscian: @stilgherrian That’s quite a lot of bollocks on just one slide. Well done, everyone. [#optusvision]
The Future of Enterprises, apparently #optusvision instagram.com/p/YycINyiFkQ/
“It’s about a better commute experience.” #optusvision instagram.com/p/Yyb7NYiFj7/
MOAR HEALTHS #optusvision instagram.com/p/Yyb1StCFjw/
MOAR EDUCATIONS #optusvision instagram.com/p/YyblMyiFji/
Studeny-centric education #optusvision instagram.com/p/YybfmACFjc/
johnb78 Because fuck you is why “@tweetkas: “Why can’t every CTO be seen as Chief Transformation Officer?” asks Singtel CEO Bill Chang #optusvision”
Big Data / Analytics. #optusvision #drink #bigdrink
“Everything-as-a-Service”. #optusvision #drink
Spamhaus. #optusvision #drink
Security #optusvision #cyber
Smart Machines. #optusvision
tweetkas “Why can’t every CTO be seen as the Chief Transformation Officer?” asks Singtel CEO Bill Chang #optusvision
Mobility. #optusvision
So here’s the diagram, from Bill Chang #optusvision instagram.com/p/Yyax2xiFic/
Chang is riffing off an observation that many businesses are becoming commodities, so differentiation is about intelligence. #optusvision
We live in a VUCA world (volatile uncertain complex ambiguous), says Optus’ Bill Chang. US military jargon, he says. #optusvision
Watch out, he’s behind you! #optusvision instagram.com/p/YyZte2iFg-/
Hon Greg Pearce MLC, Minister for Finance and Services and Not Being Big Brother #optusvision instagram.com/p/YyZf-uiFgt/
Watch out, he’s behind you! #optusvision instagram.com/p/YyZK_7iFgK/
This year’s theme is “Thriving in the customer-driven economy”, as opposed to the other one. #optusvision
Here we go. Ellen Fanning is our MC. #optusvision
Awaiting the Yellow Cube #optusvision instagram.com/p/YyYA5lCFu7/
Invisible Madonna instagram.com/p/YyTO75CFoM/
Mobile: Check out; walk to Sydney Convention & Exhibition Centre. Not fussed if I miss the politician’s opening waffle.
@SnarkyPlatypus This is entirely the wrong sort of excitement. Do I need to provide diagrams?
After #optusvision last year I wrote “Optus’ innovation directive”, looking at one small slice of data presented. businessspectator.com.au/article/2012/5…
@moldor Yes, because unfocused off-topic shouting solves everything! Wait. Is that my business model?
There’ll be “thought leaders and industry experts”, making it clear they’re totally different categories. #optusvision
The agenda for #optusvision is at optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… and you can watch the presentations live at optusvision.com.au/optusvision201…
Thu plan: Optus Vision #optusvision optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… until they throw me out or I cry; remainder TBA, bail conditions permitting.
What are you on about, @bastardsheep? Business has NEVER been about having customers until JUST NOW. How DARE you! #optusvision
Note to PR People and Conference Speakers Everywhere: There’s a whole range of human emotions other that “excited”. Try them some time.
[Compulsory tweet by conference speakers about how “excited” they are to be able to hear the other conference speakers.] #optusvision
LailaLalami Department of WTF. “How To Wink At A Muslim” according to Barry West, a county commissioner in Tennessee. pic.twitter.com/Dd8cAtfetw
I see hast @marcfennell is attempting to improve the nation’s productivity again today. Excellent.
@SnarkyPlatypus Vous avez raison. Monsieur Taiga n’a pas eu une sortie pour un moment. Hélas, il est d’une centaine de kilomètres d’ici.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis impatient de voir le monde à travers un cube en plastique jaune. C’est le futur! Et vous?
Pondering how to cover the #optusvision thing. Maybe I’ll just gather material for my SEKRIT new podcast.
@Fadesnation That’s all explained in the tweets preceding that one.
charispalmer So there were no other journos outside court after yesterday’s Kogan v ispONE hearing. But plenty of instant experts on the case #churnalism
Apart from the weird yellow cube thing, is Optus’ Businessman of the Future prematurely grey? Compare hair and skin. optusvision.com.au/optusvision201…
@JM77 I not only remember Optus Vision as a pay TV business but knew some of the people who ran their data network. Ah, happy days!
@danilic @marcfennell @lukehopewell @DownloadABC Yep, I read @ClaireRPorter’s story on Silk Road. Always thought its importance overblown.
“Exclusive: [Australian] Data breach notification bill revealed”, writes @darrenpauli without revealing it. scmagazine.com.au/News/341776,ex…
Thu plan, draft: Cover Optus’ Vision 2013 optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… somehow (liveblogue?); remainder TBA.
RT @RawStory: [US] Man angry over Boston bombings breaks jaw of ‘f*cking Muslim’ Iraq war veteran: ow.ly/kCeY0 [HT @BernardKeane]
So @marcfennell is our fairy godmother? Yeah I’m OK with that. @ClaireRPorter @lukehopewell @DownloadABC
Errrr.