Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

May 2nd, 2013

@darrenpauli Hah! I’ve never been to the place. But I think Silk Road’s gotten way more media coverage than it deserves.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to darrenpauli

New blog post: “Talking LulzSec and more on ABC Download This Show” @DownloadABC stilgherrian.com/conversations/… Direct link abc.net.au/radionational/…

via Janetter for Mac

New blog post: “Talking the dark web (ugh!) on @abcgoldcoast” (5min audio from Tuesday) stilgherrian.com/conversations/…

via Janetter for Mac

New blog post: “Talking Facebook’s decline, maybe, on ABC @774melbourne” (8min audio from Monday) stilgherrian.com/conversations/…

via Janetter for Mac

@kcarruthers Oh yeah sorry, I can’t be held responsible for the adverts. ;)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to kcarruthers

@kcarruthers Oh no, you’re confusing me with Cyber Queen Boudigillard. zdnet.com/australias-nat…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to kcarruthers

@joannejacobs @kcarruthers @paulwallbank @servantofchaos It was as always an interesting day. Many thoughts triggered. Thanks.

via Plume for Android in reply to joannejacobs

@TheNewPhil Hmmm… A bit keyword-spammy, but good luck with the new magazine.

via Plume for Android in reply to TheNewPhil

Awaiting the departure of the 2009 Lithgow service from Sydney Central station.

via Plume for Android

So, @SnarkyPlatypus, I hereby coin a word for what the press gallery does: Parlomaths.

via Janetter for Mac

@SimonFitz Yes, good to see you again, Simon. Today worked well.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SimonFitz

So that means this random SFO number is going to be someone like a driver or a hotel concierge or random corporate PR droid I’ve dealt with.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @jasonlangenauer: If you’ve not seen this: branded3.com/blogs/the-anti… [Ah. So Path are just being cunts again. As you were, people.]

via Janetter for Mac

I wonder, @SnarkyPlatypus, by what measure the ABC has determined “division” in parliaments. Did they show their working-out?

via Janetter for Mac

SnarkyPlatypus “The 43rd parliament has been defined by division” says the ABC. Yes, because all other parliaments have been unified song and dances.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 7:06 PM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @Colvinius: These are fun. What some British historical figures would look like today: telegraph.co.uk/culture/cultur… [Agreed. Nice work.]

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@Aitch_El Heh. I understand your point, but it’s not the photos I’m worried about.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Aitch_El

OH: “I’m not a fucking parrot!”

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@yinettesys Good thinking. I’ll deal with that when I have more battery, bandwidth and care factor.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to yinettesys

An SMS from a San Francisco saying someone I’ve never heard of has photos of me on Path, click to download? Yeah right like I’ll do that.

via Plume for Android

There’s a goodly number of mobile device management (MDM) and log-all-the-things security people in this room.

via Janetter for Mac

kantrn Behold, the singularity! i.imgur.com/nNUPE.gif

via Twitterrific for Mac (retweeted on 5:46 PM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Nice work with the pies earlier though.

via Janetter for Mac

NO DON’T TAKE MY GLASS AWAY UNLESS YOU REPLACE IT WITH ANOTHER ONE WHAT IT WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @michaelneale: @stilgherrian kids call that “dubstep” [Oh well played.]

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Either tinnitus, or my handler has pressed the “wipe” button again.

via Plume for Android

feed_the_chooks I hope you haven’t worn out your outrage organ.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:30 PM, May 2nd, 2013 via Plume for Android)

Playout tune: U2, “Beautiful Day”.

via Janetter for Mac

End. Applause. @ellenmfanning thanks sponsors. Cocktail time.

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Alan Kay’s line, “The best way to predict the future is to invent it”, used without credit.

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More arithmetic, but with paper instead or teeth or lilypads.

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To be even clearer, Twitter’s ad revenue is not and has never been $1 billion, or even close.

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Just to be clear, Twitter’s ad revenue did NOT grow from zero to $1B in 18 months, nor did that chart show this.

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That photo of a famous actor with an old and very large mobile phone.

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That graph of Twitter’s ad revenue where some of the years haven’t actually happened yet.

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That video of a guy using the CD drive as a coffee cup holder.

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That video of the old German bloke using an iPad as a kitchen chopping board.

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That video of the 11mo old kid with a physical magazine that doesn’t swipe-gesture properly.

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Data from mobile phones in “Africa” [where?] plans batter bus routes, 10% more efficient.

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Nanosensor in blood stream detects proteins that detect incipient heart damage, triggers heart attack ringtone as warning.

via Janetter for Mac

@mukimu Only if you have access to cheap sedatives.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mukimu

@mukimu So you do know that in Android the button marked “back” really means “screw me over now”?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mukimu

“What is it now legal to do in three states of the United States?” You’re asking ME?

via Janetter for Mac

Series of apps on smartphones that represent the future.

via Janetter for Mac

If you don’t know my reference from just before, it’s this. womenlaughingwithsalad.tumblr.com

via Janetter for Mac

purserj @snerdish @stilgherrian show me on the doll where the invisible gorilla disrupted you

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 4:23 PM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

The stock photography woman laughing with Google Glass looks like she should be laughing with salad.

via Janetter for Mac

So far, invisible gorilla, trends as invisible gorillas, exponential growth, Netflix as disruptive, House of Cards, big data.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @leslienassar: @stilgherrian The future is sitting uncomfortably? [Yes, because of the pain down there. You know what caused that.]

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Last up, the closing keynote by futurist Jack Uldrich @jumpthecurve jumpthecurve.net/about/

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Yeah careful, though, some people are starting to catch on.

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So is it Optus or a partner who’ll be charged with the misuse of Arms crime? instagram.com/p/YzBxiwCFio/

via Instagram

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Spraying balsamic vinegar all over myself

via Janetter for Mac

The problem with “omni-channel” is that every time I hear it I think “omnishambles”. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omnishamb…

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Kerrie_Murphy So when’s it going to come out that Big Chalk astroturfed this whole DIYrainbow thing?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:26 PM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Apparently “solutioning” can be a word for some people.

via Plume for Android

Bill Cheng says SingTel has 130,000 IT professionals. They’re 2x to 3x the size of the next biggest player in the region.

via Plume for Android

Centres of excellence in cloud & data centres, business applications, collaboration, contact centres, BYOD, M2M.

via Plume for Android

Optus’ integration of SingTel NCS, Alphawest into an ICT business in Australia is an interesting strategic move.

via Plume for Android

In the media briefing room with the media and Optus’ senior executives, including SingTel CEO Bill Cheng.

via Plume for Android

This is what responsive PR is all about instagram.com/p/YylvlHiFhm/

via Instagram

Let it be noted that Len Rust has eaten all the effing pies in the media work room.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @robbiekruger: come into the big yellow cube and speak to Karen regarding customer experience [Worst. Euphemism. Ever.]

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Morning tea, though there’s a media VIP thing in another room with a Thought Leader.

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kcarruthers Funny how @CommBank innovation is based on putting customer at centre

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 10:42 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@RealNickHodge I think they’re trying to sell the future. A future with unshaven men in expensive suits.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to RealNickHodge

GreenJ I’d just like to say that journalistic critiques on gender lines are absurd. But what would I know. I’m a horse. pic.twitter.com/IS1afvAM5T

via Camera on iOS (retweeted on 10:35 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

ikostar I fear that gamification is a thing that’s fallen out of fashion before i’ve managed to figure out what the fuck it actually is

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:33 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: needs to be more like . That would solve a lot of problems. [Michael Harte in sequins FTW!]

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This event is being streamed from optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… so there’s no need for me to suffer alone (with 1000 people).

via Janetter for Mac

paulwallbank 65% of consumers want a consistent experience while only 12% of businesses deliver.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:24 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Next up, Michael Harte, CIO Commonwealth Bank of Australia.

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“At Optus we’re energised about the future, and the possibilities.”

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End to end. (The Technology Centipede!)

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RT @paulwallbank: @stilgherrian quit whining and just put ‘Telstra’ into the company field. [Oh yes, sorry. ]

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I’m in a good mood this morning, so I won’t get into the two-names-required arsehattery just yet. optusvision.com.au/optusvision201…

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So, Optus, why is “company” a required field? Can people only exist as cogs in companies? optusvision.com.au/optusvision201…

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I won’t just quote numbers. They’re in this report. optusvision.com.au/optusvision201…

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Bah, Optus! Having to register to look at the report? Didn’t you put your logo on it and stuff?

via Janetter for Mac

Financial services and education leading in online usage, finance and insurance in mobile, hospoiality and retail in social.

via Janetter for Mac

Lots of growth predicted, missed the numbers but it’ll be interesting to compare with last year’s numbers.

via Janetter for Mac

“Organisations are embracing the multi-channel world.” 91% online, 62% social, 46% mobile etc.

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John Paitaridis now previewing the “Future of Business” report thing. Factoids follow. Stand by with the drinks.

via Janetter for Mac

Numbers. So many numbers. Blind them with numbers.

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People holding up their hands to indicate that the internet.

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@SnarkyPlatypus There is no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cu… oh never mind.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

RT @nityapadman: nice positivisation of VUCA by Bill Chan [So “positivisation” is a word, see?]

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RT @MongrelNews: @stilgherrian who brought the shrooms? [I couldn’t possibly comment. ]

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Your mission, should you choose to accept it… instagram.com/p/YycffYCFkr/

via Instagram

“It’s not just about transformation, it’s about thought leadership.”

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RT @PeteDotAscian: @stilgherrian That’s quite a lot of bollocks on just one slide. Well done, everyone. []

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The Future of Enterprises, apparently instagram.com/p/YycINyiFkQ/

via Instagram

“It’s about a better commute experience.” instagram.com/p/Yyb7NYiFj7/

via Instagram

johnb78 Because fuck you is why “@tweetkas: “Why can’t every CTO be seen as Chief Transformation Officer?” asks Singtel CEO Bill Chang

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:41 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

“Everything-as-a-Service”.

via Janetter for Mac

tweetkas “Why can’t every CTO be seen as the Chief Transformation Officer?” asks Singtel CEO Bill Chang

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:38 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

So here’s the diagram, from Bill Chang instagram.com/p/Yyax2xiFic/

via Instagram

Chang is riffing off an observation that many businesses are becoming commodities, so differentiation is about intelligence.

via Janetter for Mac

We live in a VUCA world (volatile uncertain complex ambiguous), says Optus’ Bill Chang. US military jargon, he says.

via Janetter for Mac

Hon Greg Pearce MLC, Minister for Finance and Services and Not Being Big Brother instagram.com/p/YyZf-uiFgt/

via Instagram

This year’s theme is “Thriving in the customer-driven economy”, as opposed to the other one.

via Janetter for Mac

Here we go. Ellen Fanning is our MC.

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Mobile: Check out; walk to Sydney Convention & Exhibition Centre. Not fussed if I miss the politician’s opening waffle.

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@SnarkyPlatypus This is entirely the wrong sort of excitement. Do I need to provide diagrams?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

After last year I wrote “Optus’ innovation directive”, looking at one small slice of data presented. businessspectator.com.au/article/2012/5…

via Janetter for Mac

@moldor Yes, because unfocused off-topic shouting solves everything! Wait. Is that my business model?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to moldor

There’ll be “thought leaders and industry experts”, making it clear they’re totally different categories.

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Thu plan: Optus Vision optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… until they throw me out or I cry; remainder TBA, bail conditions permitting.

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What are you on about, @bastardsheep? Business has NEVER been about having customers until JUST NOW. How DARE you!

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Note to PR People and Conference Speakers Everywhere: There’s a whole range of human emotions other that “excited”. Try them some time.

via Janetter for Mac

[Compulsory tweet by conference speakers about how “excited” they are to be able to hear the other conference speakers.]

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LailaLalami Department of WTF. “How To Wink At A Muslim” according to Barry West, a county commissioner in Tennessee. pic.twitter.com/Dd8cAtfetw

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:50 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

I see hast @marcfennell is attempting to improve the nation’s productivity again today. Excellent.

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus Vous avez raison. Monsieur Taiga n’a pas eu une sortie pour un moment. Hélas, il est d’une centaine de kilomètres d’ici.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis impatient de voir le monde à travers un cube en plastique jaune. C’est le futur! Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Pondering how to cover the thing. Maybe I’ll just gather material for my SEKRIT new podcast.

via Janetter for Mac

@Fadesnation That’s all explained in the tweets preceding that one.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to FARFROMFADED

charispalmer So there were no other journos outside court after yesterday’s Kogan v ispONE hearing. But plenty of instant experts on the case

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:06 AM, May 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Apart from the weird yellow cube thing, is Optus’ Businessman of the Future prematurely grey? Compare hair and skin. optusvision.com.au/optusvision201…

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@JM77 I not only remember Optus Vision as a pay TV business but knew some of the people who ran their data network. Ah, happy days!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to JM77

@danilic @marcfennell @lukehopewell @DownloadABC Yep, I read @ClaireRPorter’s story on Silk Road. Always thought its importance overblown.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to danilic

“Exclusive: [Australian] Data breach notification bill revealed”, writes @darrenpauli without revealing it. scmagazine.com.au/News/341776,ex…

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Thu plan, draft: Cover Optus’ Vision 2013 optusvision.com.au/optusvision201… somehow (liveblogue?); remainder TBA.

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RT @RawStory: [US] Man angry over Boston bombings breaks jaw of ‘f*cking Muslim’ Iraq war veteran: ow.ly/kCeY0 [HT @BernardKeane]

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So @marcfennell is our fairy godmother? Yeah I’m OK with that. @ClaireRPorter @lukehopewell @DownloadABC

via Janetter for Mac