UNDER THE NEW PLAN THE 0732 NOW LEAVES AT 0731 YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY MARRIAGE.
OMFG “leaked #cityrail timetable” somebody phone Woodward and Bernstein immediately!
What you suggest, @erkpod, would mean both the end of western culture and the collapse of the internet. Also, Communism.
Sure, @erkpod, but how can they talk to train crew without AN iTrainCrew app? THEY’D HAVE TO STAND UP AND WALK TO THE NEXT CARRIAGE.
erkpod Tell the train crew! RT @stilgherrian: Why can’t arsehats complaining phone & report it, instead of tweeting & whining that it’s not fixed?
An organisation publicises its comms channels X, Y, and Z, but a bunch of iPhone-holding twats whinge that channel C isn’t responded to.
Why can’t arsehats complaining about CityRail phone 131500 and report it, instead of tweeting and whining that it’s not fixed?
TumblrTXT Tumblr is no longer going to be a private place that isn’t severely overpopulated by assholes. Tumblr isn’t going to be the same.
mxrk clearly .gif is pronounced *my lips move but you hear nothing* *dogs begin barking in the distance* *hundreds of them* *getting closer now*
Shut up the lot of you, I’m drinking.
Waiting by the barrier.
Mobile.
RT @j_hutch: @stilgherrian @alliecoyne The @darrenpauli botnet is up and running. World domination is imminent. [AAAARGH!]
@alliecoyne You raise an important point. We could be facing an army of upbeat @darrenpauli cyborg clones.
@frombecca @treespiepurr @VanityFare1 Thanks for all the suggestions. I’ll compare notes with my accomplice momentarily and report back.
RT @ABCscience: News: Penguins gave up the ability to fly to become lean, mean diving machines. goo.gl/fb/t4JUq [Except they’re fat.]
So I also seem to have linked to something @darrenpauli wrote in October last year. Right. Just you wait, @darrenpauli!
It’s so good to see @darrenpauli writing something cheerful for a change. Something uplifting.
“Security holes enable attackers to switch off pacemakers, rewrite firmware from 30 feet away,” writes @darrenpauli scmagazine.com.au/News/319508,ha…
“The Sydney-based researcher has written four books on social trends with the most recent, Winning The Battle For Relevance.” #ironyalert
DanielNguyen “I can’t identify Apple’s problems, but they need to DO SOMETHING about it. Like release a GAMECHANGER” canberratimes.com.au/executive-styl…
Having supplied an editor with a funny but unusable headline, I now find myself being encouraged to have a hangover tomorrow.
dogboner every known thing had been sufficiently mocked and ironically retweeted. we placed our phones in the dirt and walked into the woods to die
And after all that, I’ve left someone to change all their passwords to something that’s not the name of their business with a number in it.
@atirere That’s an interesting suggestion. I shall consider.
Oh dear, it looks like I have to help out a victim of total pwnage. “I may be some time…”
skr These guys are starting a bus service to compete with Muni? With wifi? Requires iPhone? My bubble just got bubblier. leaptransit.com
isabelhilton complained about sharks fin being served in Hangzhou hotel. The answer from the food and beverage manager? “Don’t worry, it’s fake”
@Dr_Craig_Wright Ah yes, I saw that, and I’d have griped about it in my Budget commentary, but I got spiked.
Dear Lazyweb, I need to know about new and interesting cocktail bars in Kings Cross / Potts Point, and also restaurants. Don’t fail me!
RT @dobes: Voices in my head definitely tell me that Rudd will spontaneously combust before September. [I’ll have what he’s having.]
My immediately previous tweet is of course further evidence that I am a paid shill of the Liberal Party.
Wow. The Coalition is putting up a potential Treasurer who doesn’t seem to understand basic accounting procedures. That bodes well.
joshgnosis Hockey says that the Coalition’s NBN is more likely to make money so it is more honest of the Coalition to keep it off budget.
RT @NickRichards15: I thought a male seamstress was a seaman. Again I was wrong. [Oh stop it. :P]
@Steve_Lockstep @charispalmer I fully intend to out-Google Google with my #realsex policy, yes.
Mobile: In search of lunch, a seamster/seamstress, wine and a few other things.
@EnoTheWonderdog @amworldtodaypm I’m fairly sure that Cmdr Hadfield sings in a Canadian accent, being Canadian, but there you go.
bleikamp The easiest way to vertically center something in CSS is to close your laptop and go to the bar.
@ssharwood @lukehopewell @jdub I have a CompuServe account too. It cost $270 per byte, or a thousand dollars a minute, or something.
@charispalmer Yes, but is @Steve_Lockstep a man or a woman now? THIS COULD BE IMPORTANT. #auscert2013
@domknight Twitter is trying to make itself into an adjunct to TV, and that will be their downfall.
So I just did a blog post with my sentence on @amworldtodaypm about Chris Hadfield’s Bowie song and my space stuff. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…
joshgnosis ACMA and that GIF guy would get along quite well, I think.
“Confirm @Steve_Lockstep Is the gender balance in Australian #infosec”, @charispalmer? Why? What’s he done? Had the op? #auscert2013
You know, Twitter, not showing previews of images just ‘cos they’re hosted at a “competitor” is just fucking well childish.

RT @flashman: ah here comes that rain, Sydney pic.twitter.com/B95e6JvxVr [Plus near-live radar at bom.gov.au/products/IDR71… of course.]
dobes HAHAHAHA, you guys today! 24.media.tumblr.com/5b8557ed697342…
franksting “Only if you ignore inflation & real growth in the econmy can you pretend Swan’s extracting more tax than (Costello)” rossgittins.com/2013/05/both-s…

BernardKeane Tell the truth: have you ever seen an animal as vicious as this? pic.twitter.com/IwqzBjKO0A
@David_N_Wilson Oh we’re talking SERIOUSLY small town! I’ll have to look up where you are on the maps etc. Now I’m intrigued!
@GreenJ Sorry, yes, I’ve been busy in The America and everything is a little befuddled.
According to the Attorney-General’s press release, Australia has just joined the Open Government Partnership. opengovpartnership.org
RT @michaelmeloni: Xbox One looks like a Kickstarter mockup. [Ouch!]
But… but… that’s fact-checking right there, @jonaholmesMW! I’m not so sure… @zackster @sortius
jonaholmesAge The rumour is wrong RT @zackster: @sortius rumour is @jonaholmesMW is going to head up the ABC fact checking team.
I would like to ride the skies on Skywhale. Who can make this happen?
jeamland When they’ve finished with Skywhale, I propose it be given to @stilgherrian to be his mobile base of operations. You know it makes sense.
RT @johnemcintyre: One more “iconic” zapped. [You have done the world a great service today, Sir.]
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: The Skywhale looked into his soul and found it wanting. [Skywhale looks into EVERYONE’S soul. And finds them wanting.]
@David_N_Wilson I grew up in a rural area in South Australia, but finishing high school is more a personal, family celebration.
@ssharwood Nakedness?
“Centenary of Canberra creative director Robyn Archer taking a look at the Skywhale. Photo: Jeffrey Chan” images.canberratimes.com.au/2013/05/21/429…
@ssharwood I cheated a bit. I had to refresh my memory using something called an internet.
RT @ssharwood: The Xbox One is the Olivetti Envision I’ve always wanted [And this is one of the NICE comments about it.]
Skywhale is “arrogant”, says man whose former job was… politician. canberratimes.com.au/act-news/canbe…
RT @GreenJ: hmm. full finger gloves time has come methinks. [Worst. Euphemism. Ever.]
@DrMobs Well, the end of the plan sounds good. The earlier part is a bit tedious. But it’s all I’m capable of today. #insomnia
@David_N_Wilson I have a theory, which is that US still has strong echoes of its rural past. Less urbanised than, say, Aust or West EU.
@David_N_Wilson It’s a milestone, but to me (an alien) it seems that American high school ceremonies are far more elaborate than elsewhere.
@juhasaarinen True, it was a rather exceptional piece of bastardry.
damiengwalter Characters in new Call of Duty have photo-realistic heads. All the better to shoot them in. And there’s a dog. You can shoot that too.
@juhasaarinen Oh, yeah, look that’s about 40 kinds of wrong right there So let’s just forget my Prussian heritage too, m’kay?

RT @agarner: Hacklabs setting up their outdoor beach party at #auscert2013 - in the rain pic.twitter.com/ML8UtiY8Vl [A Combi van? No armour?]
Oh. Yeah. And drinks next week with Eugene Kaspersky. What could possibly go wrong?
RT @DemiseNZ: Use WGET? Youre a hacker. ars.to/ZbBD5b [Using anything other than “approved” apps will be a crime. HT @juhasaarinen]
Since it’s also Cyber Awareness Week, I’ll post some photos so you’re all aware of my cybering.
jonathonio why can’t Apple try and *maximise* their tax bill, like all other companies do
Note to self: Today looks like it’s not a good day to send a story pitch to @charispalmer because temperance. @HarrisonPolites
Wed plan, more specifically: Start at the top left, and work through this pile of crap on the desk, in my inbox and elsewhere in my systems.
Wed plan: A day of planning and administrivia, mostly, while waiting for the rain. Then watching the rain. Then drinking wine.
It seems Apple has yet to catch up with The Passphrase Generation. twitpic.com/cs9d03

RT @David_N_Wilson: Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/ZluivmrMZW/ [So, it’s a Big Deal when someone manages to finish school in America?]
@michaelneale @semiboganman I think the word you’re looking for is “gerrymander”.
GameJournos “Call of Duty has a dog!” = “Malibu Stacy’s got a new hat!”
Farmers are good at blaming everyone and everything else in the universe for their problems except their own inability to run a business.
hepburnwind now we’ve heard it all — apparently folks are worried that wind farms might affect the prawn industry! esperanceexpress.com.au/story/1511324/…
emilybell Everyone with a Tumblr now has to go into the office.

The Sydney instagram.com/p/ZlqF6UiFu4/
More disjointed conflation of random unrelated factoids, THAT’S what we need more of today. Indeed, EVERY DAY!
@belungerer You’re making any awfully large and dumb assumption about what I may believe based on my one observation about the TV business.
@belungerer Please, do keep assuming I know nothing about the topic and assuming what I believe, and that I need a lecture before breakfast.
@SnarkyPlatypus Je suis certain que la plupart des projets d’entreprises seraient mieux fonctionner avec plus de serpents. Ou plus de seins.
@belungerer I don’t know. I’d never heard of Coca-Cola before today.

Sneaky Seidler instagram.com/p/Zlntg2iFrl/
RT @dahowlett: Processing 107GB of video - that’s a lot of shooting [And in 1995 a Media 100 edit suite with 8GB of hard drives cost $100k.]
BTW, folks do know what the word “commercial” means in the phrase “commercial TV”, right? OK, good. Just checking.
Coca-Cola pressuring commercial TV to refuse Greenpeace ads? Oh I’m sure that wouldn’t happen ever. smh.com.au/environment/gr…
RT @jason_a_w: @stilgherrian @leslienassar our world has been built by cory, for cory [This explains pretty much everything.]
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je me sens presque humain, et je suis impatient d’une journée de pluie et, peut-être, le vin. Et vous?
“Carriers attack NBN Co’s ‘lack of urgency’”, writes @rycrozier itnews.com.au/News/343851,ca…
“Aussie retailers falling behind on ‘couch commerce’”, writes @charispalmer itnews.com.au/News/343964,au…
@leslienassar @jason_a_w I think I love you both. But I don’t think Cory will allow this to go any further.

Another example of Silicon Valley self-regard, if I may put it euphemistically, via @jason_a_w instagram.com/p/ZlYuUwEaHP/
@juhasaarinen But does it have to be you? Can you be trusted with such responsibility?
@juhasaarinen I’m glad you checked, because the Sun and its so-called “sunrise time” have been so incredibly unreliable over the years.
Wed plan, draft: A day of planning and administrivia, mostly, while waiting for the rain. And then watching the rain.
@Lukian Good morning. Oddly enough, it was Twitters (and garbage collectors) who woke me. Are you part of the conspiracy?
Oh, so the local fauna has decided that I’ll be awake now. Lovely. Still, it means I’m mostly back on Sydney time. Happy Wednesday.