Westward ho.
@vealmince Exactly. I was totally unprepared. Doing “Good morning, General” niceties while waving to my offsider for a studio to be cleared.
@vealmince He was. I made a call to an underling to arrange an interview for later, and they just put me through. “Rabuka speaking.”
@mpesce @swearyanthony They can’t all have been shot. Who’s handing around the meth?
@vealmince In the distant past, back in the previous century, I found myself on the phone with General Rabuka. Weird day.
“Fijian constitutional lawyers”. Yes, Nauru, it’s always a good idea to choose the best.
RT @leslienassar: There won’t be a single incident of drunken shitbaggery tonight, thanks to Barry O’Farrell! [Challenge accepted!]
So just where along the Human Centipede of the Feelpinion Media from Ian Thorpe is Alan Jones, vis—à —vis Fairfax op-eds?
@shoerust @zdnetaustralia App stores seem to be lousy retail experience. “Here’s a thousand things all almost the same, you figure it out.”
@jturner_ibrs @zdnetaustralia Why thank you. The Muse was with me this morning, for some reason. I shan’t complain.
@dobes I am poised for action.
Basically I’m just @dobes’ wind-up troll.
That thing at @zdnetaustralia I just tweeted is the result of me thinking about all that #deloitte stuff from yesterday.
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Can Startupland bridge the smartphone generation gap?” http://t.co/CBAMMDiMjz
OH: “Hurry up an finish your wine, I’m hungry.”
@lukehopewell That’s most kind of you. You’re really becoming quite the gentleman.
@simone_au @RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus Remind me never to let you near the Bloody Marys.
@lukehopewell It’s before your time there, isn’t it?
@RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus I am not a celebrity. More like celery.
@lukehopewell Yes. Yes it is. I have now looked at that list and feel… soiled.
@gavincostello I believe that conference is closed to the media, but I shall make enquiries.
“Gizmodo named him one of the Internet’s ‘Most Viral People’” is actually a sentence in a thing I was just sent. Ewww…
Column filed for @zdnetaustralia! Yay!
@GlenFrost @zdnetaustralia I have not been made aware of the @BuzzFeedOz launch until your tweet just then. I have been ignored.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Bonne année. S’il vous plaît profiter du cheval. Je suis bien. Et vous?
Fri plan: Blog posts x 2 (done); write for @zdnetaustralia; lunch, Sydney CBD; clear the comms backlog, kinda; train to Wentworth Falls etc.
RT @CosmicRami: @stilgherrian New avatar looks like my flatmates b’day cake that I organised over the weekend! bit.ly/1eAPP9f [Eek!]
@dannolan I’m not. So I don’t understand the connection.
The exact moment of New Moon is coming up in just a few minutes, at 0839 AEDT.
@glengyron Thank you. I had fun.
New blog post: “Adventures in Identity: Still struggling with Google+”, documenting Wednesday morning’s struggle. http://t.co/TpD1bm7eBX
New blog post: “Talking Bitcoin arrests on ABC The World Today”, with audio from Tuesday. http://t.co/inK2WPpmWg
@jeamland Anyway, I have already put all my effort into today’s avatar.
@jeffsonstein Why thank you. It seems to translate back OK.
“It’s high time that app permissions were overhauled”, writes @dobes, and I agree. http://t.co/aS71ULVYKg
Fri plan, draft: Blog posts x 2; write for @zdnetaustralia; lunch, Sydney CBD; clear the comms backlog, kinda; train to Wentworth Falls.
@jeamland Ta, but you know I find it a bit… average.
@DomSequitur Thanks!
I am assuming for the moment that the internet has provided me with an accurate translation.
新年快樂.
@jonoabroad Sorry, can’t see what you’re saying there.
Here’s @TurnbullMalcolm interviewed by @leighsales about the ABC/SBS review on tonight’s “7.30”. http://t.co/cxuODHv6Ok
“ABCs of Auntie’s budget” by @HarrisonPolites and Callum Pickering. http://t.co/lEnB9dtlGM
Irritated.
Stopping doing the SEKRIT things.
Doing SEKRIT things.
RT @sylmobile: Where is the list of annual government expenditure line items? [The Budget? finance.gov.au]
glengyron Spicks and Specs was horrible and is horrible. Kill it. #ABCSBSReview
Oops, there’s STILL a typo in that tweet. The Sydney Opera House / Chinese New Year photo is from @Margy011. pic.twitter.com/yEnHopMqie
Fred_Delicious Next time you’re feeling down just think that at some point a masturbating woman will have panicked & thrown a dildo at a spider
So the Sydney Opera House turns red for Chinese New Year. Photo via @Margy0111 pic.twitter.com/yEnHopMqie
I suspect I was a little too adventurous with that pig.
mmechomski Love this. RT @xfactorcomms: RT @thelawns: Brilliant! pic.twitter.com/ss6Mgpt3K3
@gtlloyd @DeptOfAustralia I wasn’t thinking it through much more, just avoiding a corny @leighsales as Queen of Hearts. That’s @LaTrioli.
@sydneyfireworks You’re missing the fact that it’s Lunar New Year (Chinese, Vietnamese etc)?
RT @DeptOfAustralia: The 1,000,000 Internet Points bounty goes to @gtlloyd pic.twitter.com/bds4Zfhqan [Surely @leighsales is Queen of Spades?]
Here’s @TurnbullMalcolm interviewed by @Colvinius about the ABC/SBS efficiency review etc from this evening’s “PM”. http://t.co/ewOd2H2Bxx
“Gorgeous Aerial Photos Capture The Ironic Beauty Of Fracking” http://t.co/ygrhLYUJiH More at http://t.co/SlgRhE4B7k Ping @ApostrophePong
RT @cjjosh: Is Big Ted being held hostage?RT @bazarazzi: #tbt http://t.co/omVeKhkLQo
Hmmm. My Twitter client, Janetter, seems to be losing a bunch of my replies.
@markhellewell @troyhunt Oh well that I didn’t know, so thanks!
@markhellewell @troyhunt I know.
“For your convenience, please disable security warnings”, writes @troyhunt, always with the good advice. http://t.co/c1pGNC4Lpa
RT @R_Chirgwin: Here’s why. http://t.co/ewOYuBAfmB [Oh I see. Kinda. Sorta. #tapir]
I still don’t understand why the US Federal Reserve has a tapir.
“Cyclone Dylan forms after king tides hit North Qld coast”, @abcnews? Coward tides, you mean. ab.co/1k8MzqL
WHERE IS MY PIG?
BernardKeane the key to the ABC review is that it’s being done within the Comms Dept, where it can be controlled by govt. no independent audit firm.
You tell me.
@SnarkyPlatypus Sanook maak.
Pad prik king moo ped ped maak krub.
“Closing for annual staff party Tue 28th to Thu 30th January”? THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
It’s been hours since I retweeted Mr Rabbit with a pig’s arse. I’ never tire of it though. pic.twitter.com/it0npa8QVH HT @DeptOfAustralia
sylmobile Stephen Fry is the Pie Face shop of ABC Television.
How many peaches does it take to make “Q&A”?
Maybe even tub waan.
Rob_Stott *Malcolm Turnbull quietly explaining to Kerry that you can use a tea bag more than once* #efficiency
I think I might have to resort to boat noodle.
RT @leslienassar: Mr Rabbit is paying extra close attention to the ABC charter https://t.co/eZ8efmx32L [This seems even more apt now.]
RT @GreenJ: you know what this means: more @stephenfry [I fear that this is very true.]
shanebazzi “efficiency study” pic.twitter.com/UbWibCYuvk
thegrugq How to know which mobile messaging applications are most likely targeted by NSA’s TAO? Informative graphic pic.twitter.com/61GHJTkheA
I am not in the mood for a venue called Buns & Balls. I am not in the mood for Kings Cross.
BernardKeane Last time the Coalition launched an “efficiency review” of the ABC, KPMG found it needed MORE funding, not less bit.ly/1d9gZ66
RT @jonathanvswan: Breaking: EXCLUSIVE: Abbott government to launch ‘efficiency study’ into ABC, SBS http://t.co/qRd599Ms4l via @theage
RT @marcuskelson: the ABC is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face. [I agree 100%.]
RT @iiadamogrady: I’m fully against ABC subversion and supportive of Abbott’s demands to move to a git based national broadcaster. [Groan.]
We cannot allow ABC infiltration, ABC indoctrination, ABC subversion, to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
menendymendez oh my god MARK SCOTT = MARX COT, THE ABC IS LITERALLY A BED OF COMMUNISTS
Or maybe I’m just being affected by the winds and tides.
Oh THAT’S why I suddenly feel like I’m falling asleep. Mr Rabbit is holding a press conference. Talk about spooky action at a distance.
This evening’s drinks are at Buns & Balls. The imagery on this venue’s website does not fill me with confidence. bunsandballs.com.au
“‘Scabrous attack’ on Bradman unworthy of a hero” http://t.co/0zrdbWrXTE It’s a response to this. http://t.co/VGzbZCKYkf HT @nxdnz
snurb_dot_info SPOILER: No. RT @beneltham: So, has there been a “wage explosion” in the construction sector? pic.twitter.com/LKslTgnoJs
RT @KJBar: Clive Palmer: “The ABC stands as the last sentry at the gates of democracy.” @SkyNewsAust [We are so fucked.]
@fogonwater @ShaneBryan_Aus Poor chap. Sounds like he needs a drink.
This week’s Clarke and Dawe, “Turning Back The News Where It Is Safe To Do So”, is particularly good. http://t.co/tSK5UHPAo9
fogonwater I am sitting next to a gentleman who is reading “How to do everything in Microsoft Sharepoint”. Poor bastard.
iamdevloper Check any item of food in your cupboard and there’s a good chance one of the ingredients will be jQuery.
@Gwyntaglaw That involved scrolling. Why do you hate Freedom?
@adm_76 Yeah. It’s just part of the signage to attract the attention of potential tenants for the forthcoming building.
@adm_76 It’s a literal caption. At 200 George St, currently a building site, they’ve got 3 metre high cut-out digits, “200”.
jcoglan If someone asks who to use instead of GoDaddy, say “anyone else”. Seriously. Fishmonger. Taxidermist. Fire department. Literally anyone
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Geri Halliwell to represent the UK in 2014 Eurovision? bit.ly/1b6Zvup [Yeah, I turned them down.]
RT @SimonPalan: ABC News 24 is looking to hire a sports presenter/producer. http://t.co/5NiG9V3m1V [Must be fond of the home teams.]
RT @PitcherJenna: Urge to kill… rising. [Excellent. Embrace your emotions. Feel the energy building. You know what to do.]
It’s great watching Mr Rabbit being interviewed on TV. While the questions are being asked you can see the cogwheels grinding in his head.
@leftocentre @expectproblems It’s very good, yes. Great work, @phonytonyabbott. I’ve already tweeted the correct credit.
“Somebody call the waaaambulance - the ABC has been mean to Abbott”, writes @JohnBirmingham http://t.co/fPfjKWKuA6
Oops, this collection of quotes by Mr Rabbit was put together by @phonytonyabbott not @leftocentre. pic.twitter.com/yPHnVK52uc
RT @leslienassar: All of the hat guys. Forever. i.imgur.com/9VClTYt.gif [Yes, this is a bit special.]
Well here’s a lovely little collection of quotes by Mr Rabbit put together by @leftocentre pic.twitter.com/yPHnVK52uc HT @expectproblems
RT @ashd_au: The World’s Worst Penetration Test Report by #ScumbagPenTester http://t.co/2rKXydHhA9 [Hilarious! HT @SpawnRich]
RT @Adam86Valentine: THE MOST IMPORTANT FILM EVENT OF THE YEAR bit.ly/1kadjqT [Yes, @SnarkyPlatypus.]
@Toby_Halligan “Slaughterhouse Procedures Training, Module 3: Pigs”.
bitcoin_txt BITCOIN is not a money, it’s our future.
RT @jeamland: @dlitchfield @stilgherrian The “O†in “ORLY†stands for “Oracleâ€. [Hah. Well played.]
RT @dlitchfield: Larry Ellison just said this: “To the best of our knowledge, an Oracle database hasn’t been broken into for a couple of de…
@AndyButs Why thank you.
RT @ivovic: planning to get smashed at lunch? [Nope, I have drinks to go to at 1800. It’s also NYE tonight.]
@SnarkyPlatypus @chieftech @smperris Many lower-level jobs are governed by awards anyway. Certainly clerical and admin are.
cathywilcox1 This didn’t make it into the paper today. It’s the punchline that writes itself. pic.twitter.com/OhxcfXmwNy
At the Observer instagram.com/p/jxp5VEiFrH/
“Look, I don’t know, just stash it behind some trees or something.” instagram.com/p/jxowJSCFpW/
@SnarkyPlatypus @smperris Higher proportion than I’d have imagined. But my views are warped by the media being quite personal negotiations.
@smperris @SnarkyPlatypus Salary is just part of negotiated working conditions anyway. Hours, rates, on-call factors, duration etc.
@smperris @SnarkyPlatypus I thought salary mentions in job ads went out ages ago, apart from public and non-profit sectors.
Drifting into The Rocks. So to speak.
@AlexGreenwich @expectproblems Before that even, we look at the figures, see violence is actually decreasing, and just let that continue.
BlogsofWar RT @ShervinSinatra: I can’t stress how important this is…. This deserves Endless RT’s pic.twitter.com/UpOxUFfsmk
@teqnomad Thanks very much, I’ll dig it out later this afternoon.
@0x1C They’re more your “before” shots, the rash on the buttocks “after”.
@jeffbigham @gamoamike @MichaelBleby @archanddesign Yep, I quite like the planning joke.
I seem to be at Circular Quay.
Deloitte’s TMT Predictions 2014 (tech, media, telecommunications), the report is here. #deloitte http://t.co/46hqqnv5CO
MichaelBleby Not a good sales pitch to potential students RT @archanddesign: Well this is a bit of a #planningfail pic.twitter.com/px2gr8oh4w
RT @paulcarr pic.twitter.com/VG9OxsF6mS [Well that seems fair.]
@CosmicRami I’ll check it out, but not today. Had Japanese for lunch yesterday, and the Quay or The Rocks look appealing.
RT @SulphurCocky @stilgherrian were you looking for a second name for a Google hangout ?
-> Cyber Stilgherrian @StilCyber
[Oh that’s right.]
@CosmicRami Interesting. The most recent review on Google Maps is not reassuring, however.
So, lunch in the Sydney CBD. Who? Where?
@0x1C Have you seen “Max Headroom”? Depicted a TV health talkback show.” Just hold your buttocks up to the camera…”
@jmacmullin #deloitte Yep, I’ll have the link to the report within the next 30 minutes.
And that’s the end. I shall have the link to the report we’ve just been discussing very shortly. #deloitte
eVisits, combined with the wearables trend, could lead to a move away from the break-fix model for healthcare. #deloitte
In US and Canada there’s 600 million visits to GP per annum. Half are for reasons that could be solved by an eVisit. #deloitte
That’s a 400% increase on 2012 levels. 75 million of them will be in North America. #deloitte
11. eVisits: Redefining the patient-physician relationship. In 2014 there’ll be 100 million eVisits globally, saving $5 billion. #deloitte
Challenges for MOOCs will be increasing completion rates, acceptance by employers and credentialing bodies. #deloitte
Enrolments in 2014 will top 10 million courses, up 100% from 2012. Low completion rates mean under 0.2% of courses will be MOOCs #deloitte
10. Massive Open Online Courses (MOOC): not a disruption zone yet, but the future is bright. #deloitte
9. Phablets are not a phad. There you go. #deloitte
Oops “Phablets are not a Phad” should have been one of the numbered predictions, so I’ll fix that. #deloitte
Note that the over-55s in developed countries so have disposable income, there’s plenty of opportunities for profit here. #deloitte
Many over-55 currently get their first smsrtphone through hand-me-up from younger family members upgrading. This will change. #deloitte
Smartphone ownership for over-55s in developed countries will reach 45 to 50%, still lower than 18-54yo at 70+%. #deloitte
8. Smartphone generation gap: Over 55? There’s no app for that. Biggest increase in smartphone use in 2014 will be over-55s. #deloitte
SMS will still be growing in volume, however, e.g. in Latin America, but decline in developed markets. #deloitte
Despite volumes, SMS will still generate $100 billion, which is 50x the revenue of MIM. #deloitte
In Apri 2013, WhatsApp overtook number of messages on SMS. #deloitte
7. SMS vs IM: value vs volume. In 2014, mobile IM will carry twice the volume of SMS. (50 billion per day vs 21 billion.) #deloitte
6. TV measurement: for better and worse. We’ll hybrid measurement that’ll pick up PC, tablet and smartphone viewing. #deloitte
In Australia, we should see investment in in-stadium technology, as in US stadiums. #deloitte
Higher spend on sports rights is likely to be accompanied by rising spend on TV production. [Not bolstering profits?] #deloitte
5. Broadcast sports rights: premium plus. 2014 value of premium sports broadcast rights will be $24.2 billion, up 14% from 2013. #deloitte
Availability of low cost video streaming devices should encourage subscription video on demand usage. #deloitte
Additional pay TV subscriptions may be substituting for DVD sales. #deloitte
“The household bill-payer may not necessarily know about the second subscription.” Damn teenagers. #deloitte
Households aren’t necessarily choosing between subscription and video-on-demand, may opt for both (or more providers). #deloitte
4. Doubling up on pay TV: by end 2014, 50 million households globally will have 2+ pay TV subscriptions, $5B extra revenue. #deloitte
A US trial of police using Google Glass led to an 80% drop in accusations of police brutality. [Will seek out report later.] #deloitte
Some discussion now of business uses for Google Glass, e.g. tourism info, policing etc. #deloitte
FIXED: 3, Wearables: the eyes have it. Smart glasses, fitness bands, watches will sell 10 million units in 2014, about $3 billion. #deloitte
Glasses will generate the most revenue (higher price) 4M units, fitness bands 4M, smart watches 2M (young don’t care for ‘em). #deloitte
3, Wearables: the eyes have it. Smart glasses, fitness bands and watches will sell 10 million units in 2013, about $3 billion. #deloitte
Phablets are generally better (with larger screen) for Korean and Chinese script. #deloitte
In Korea, say, phablets are better for games, yet compact for use in crowded transit. #deloitte
Phablets are more Middle East and Asia Pacific, not so much North America or Europe. #deloitte
@joshgnosis You showed fair judgement. But I was lonely.
“2014 may be ‘peak phablet’, as only a (sizeable) minority of smartphone users will want to handle such a large device.” #deloitte
“Phablets are not a Phad, but they may be peaking.” #deloitte
In the last year, iPad sales growth slowed. It’s now a premium product, not predominant. #deloitte
2. One becomes many: the tablet market stratifies. In Q1, installed base of compact tablets will exceed that of classic tablets. #deloitte
Combines smartphone and tablet factory revenues to exceed entire remainder of consumer electronics market in 2013. #deloitte
TV sales are also hitting a plateau. But smartphones and tablets are now the dominant devices. Games consoles “only” $10 billion. #deloitte
Smartphones reaching saturation. Rapid exponential growth curve of last 3 to 4 years starting to slow. Changeover cycle longer. #deloitte
“Global sales of smartphones, tablets, PCs, TV sets and games consoles will surpass $0.75 trillion in 2014,” declining growth. #deloitte
1. The $750 billion converged living room: a plateau approaches. #deloitte
Oh, that was just the tech section. There were 16 predictions in 2013, 11 this year. #deloitte
Example: Smartphone shipments did hit 1 billion, but wireless spectrum was indeed a key issue (and will continue to be). #deloitte
Deloitte claims 80% success rate with their six key 2013 predictions. #deloitte
There’ll be soft copies of the report available later today, I gather. Sixty pages with plenty of footnotes and references. #deloitte
I am now in Deloitte HQ, Sydney, for the launch of their 2014 prediction in tech, media and telecommunications. Mute #deloitte to avoid.
Flowers of the Illuminati instagram.com/p/jxRouaiFpX/
0930, Liverpool Street. Man with dreadlocks and plastic cup of white wine harangues another man about taxation levels and train timetables.
@leslienassar I’ve no idea what they’re doing with their fingers.