Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

April 1st, 2014

@Mudgutz @Asher_Wolf @mongrel43 @NewtonMark @petedavo_au An accounting founding a company and hiring crypto.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Mudgutz

@Mudgutz @Asher_Wolf @mongrel43 @NewtonMark @petedavo_au Family Affairs Security Vault Pty Ltd, ACN 151838354, registered 30/06/2011.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Mudgutz

@Mudgutz @NewtonMark @mongrel43 @petedavo_au WHOIS on the domain goes back to 2012. Checking company registration now.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Mudgutz

FATJEW “When my doctor feels my balls to check for lumps, it’s ok to run my hands through his hair right?”

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:31 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

NewtonMark That is seriously my favorite thing on the internet today. That and CIO Magazine’s editor :)

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 8:29 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

“Not a physical key, like you’d use in your front door, but it works in much the same way… It’s called a ‘Private Key’.” So there.

via Janetter for Mac

“Your Digital File is automatically scrambled, so you can’t open and read it without the right ‘key’…”

via Janetter for Mac

This appears to be an actual thing. There are prices. yourdigitalfile.com/pricing/

via Janetter for Mac

“100% confidential – It’s impossible for anyone to access your documents without your authorityyourdigitalfile.comkj

via Janetter for Mac

“Uses the company’s Cryptoloc encryption algorithms, which means users need more than a password to access confidential files.”

via Janetter for Mac

NewtonMark Hahaaha no no you cannot do this oh my god. RT @petedavo_au: Local firm claims world’s most secure cloud storage cio.com.au/article/541772…

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 8:17 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @Paul_Murton: How much shit should I give Jonathan for coming out to dinner with his polo shirt inside-out? [Truckloads.]

via Janetter for Mac

“LPD: Libertarian Police Department”, which is very good. newyorker.com/online/blogs/s… HT @dizzylimit via @Colvinius

via Janetter for Mac

CyberPrefixerAU Lawyer sues Queensland Premier and A-G over cyberbikie comments

via CyberPrefixer AU (retweeted on 8:01 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

Tim_Coronel @stilgherrian odd, if it was two bottles shiraz, one block choc that’d be ‘Bon vivant’ yet two bottles Shiraz, one bottle scotch = ‘problem’

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 7:58 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

I don’t want wine. [Sulks.]

via Janetter for Mac

@MsPraxis @R_Chirgwin Well, not “bad” as such, but it does complicate things somewhat.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to MsPraxis

RT @R_Chirgwin: Ms T says you inverted the quantities. [She has a point.]

via Janetter for Mac

Fuck. I just realised I bought wine and two blocks of chocolate. I’m turning into a menopausal woman.

via Janetter for Mac

Starting a list: “Things to Launch into the Sun”. What are your suggestions?

via Janetter for Mac

Later up, we can take turns poking @R_Chirgwin with a stick.

via Janetter for Mac

Note what is happening here, people! I am trying to persuade someone to lift the standard of debate. Well, @R_Chirgwin, but still.

via Janetter for Mac

@R_Chirgwin Or, you know, the stuff your super fund wants to invest in just got more attractive. Must you wallow in the $2 Shop of culture?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@oberonsghost @R_Chirgwin Yes, and Mr Kohler could demonstrate, in a sort of mime thing.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to oberonsghost

@R_Chirgwin Maybe replace that with “turgid” and “flaccid”.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin That should have been “weird-arse”, but hey, “world-arse” is like “world music”.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin And to teach cranky blokes not to interpret financial journalism in light of their own world-arse fantasy world? (I’m helping.)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin Is there anything in the media you do approve of?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

The botnets appear to be busy today. I guess 1 April is a great day for scamming people.

via Janetter for Mac

I did that joke ages ago. :(

via Janetter for Mac

If you missed today’s @5at5daily, you missed playgrounds, mining booms, terrorism, and matchmaking for the over-60s. tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5…

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Guerre, c’est l’enfer. Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

BernardKeane why all the excitement about Goatse Simulator?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:08 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

@YingHaoLi And I know that’s Justice Bennett’s gig.

via Plume for Android in reply to YingHaoLi

@YingHaoLi Heh. True. Well I’ll be in there again at some point. Apple v Samsung will eventually end, for example.

via Plume for Android in reply to YingHaoLi

Revenge of the Paprika Misjudgement is in progress. (See tweets from this morning.)

via Plume for Android

@YingHaoLi Thanks, I’ll see how early a 2-hour train I manage to catch.

via Plume for Android in reply to YingHaoLi

@gavincostello Indeed. And having seen what some of the kids can do with networked cars… eek !

via Plume for Android in reply to gavincostello

@YingHaoLi True, 99% is routine turning of the wheels of justice. But every now and then we spot something of passing interest.

via Plume for Android in reply to YingHaoLi

@YingHaoLi Looking idly at court lists and police media releases, it’s a journalist thing.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to YingHaoLi

@YingHaoLi I’ve no idea which Chambers you’re in. I get the daily email, so I just looked to see what was in Court 18A tomorrow.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to YingHaoLi

@YingHaoLi Federal Court Sydney? I’m looking at the court list as we speak. Bit of a mixed bag before Edmonds J?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to YingHaoLi

@bigmac It’s all bullshit, take your pick.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to bigmac

puellavulnerata A web browser doesn’t so much have an attack surface as an fractal attack sponge of infinite area.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:37 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @defcoin: Tired of making real money with your GPU farm? Why not mine defcoin instead? [HT @thegrugq, ping @bigmac]

via Janetter for Mac

@bigmac You’ve been spending quite a bit of time in that dedicated comedy channel for a while now.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to bigmac

@drearyclocks @seamus Yeah, $500 of blow will do “unreasonably excited”.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to drearyclocks

RT @GuardianAus: Sea Shepherd calls for global police after Japan whaling ruling video trib.al/OxQQsnp [Hahaha cue South Park.]

via Janetter for Mac

I obviously get far fewer press releases than other Australian tech writers.

via Janetter for Mac

It seems to be Tourism Pensioner Tuesday in Katoomba today.

via Janetter for Mac

@PointZeroOne @GordyPls @NewtonMark @andrewdotnich Oh I sorted that. Timesheet was the input to payroll. No timesheet, no pay.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to PointZeroOne

@NewtonMark @andrewdotnich I’ve found it useful to do the @GordyPls and track actual work against estimate and refine quotes, but hey.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to NewtonMark

@NewtonMark @andrewdotnich You’re at a slightly different point in the food chain, Mark. (Also, I wasn’t speaking any specific scenario.)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to NewtonMark

@andrewdotnich @NewtonMark I know of a case where six months later an employee found they’d been shorter on super. Needed those timesheets.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to andrewdotnich

@NewtonMark @andrewdotnich True, it depends on the circumstances, but the overhead is tiny. And employees might claim being shorted.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to NewtonMark

@andrewdotnich Big or small, you need an evidence trail in case a customer challenges the bill and it ends up in court. @NewtonMark

via Janetter for Mac in reply to andrewdotnich

Last Tango in Lilyfield.

via Janetter for Mac

@rwang0 Bugger that! Ship them all to rural Nigeria for a month, and dump them naked on a river bank. Then lose the GPS coordinates.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to rwang0

RT @GreenJ: ABC news corrections page. an enhancement to a pretty rigorous process. abc.net.au/news/correctio… [So, like Viagra for the news.]

via Janetter for Mac

@bigjonhughes Ah! Maybe drop your details to @tinyletter support, they seem to be linking to it from Twitter. Good luck.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to bigjonhughes

@snerdish @Asher_Wolf This is my entire point! I bet she eats chips as well.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to snerdish

@jonkudelka @firstdogonmoon But the fact remains, you do not actually have chips, do you.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jonkudelka

@snerdish In saw @Asher_Wolf smile once. It’s all an elaborate fraud.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to snerdish

So you mean “crisps”, you arsehats @jonkudelka @firstdogonmoon. GET PROPER CHIPS AND SOME SEAGULLS.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jonkudelka

firstdogonmoon OH FOR GODS SAKE THEY ARE SALT AND VINEGAR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 4:18 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

@Asher_Wolf ROFL. My comment was inspired by events on another continent entirely. I’m happy for you to pwn this one’s misery.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Asher_Wolf

firstdogonmoon So @jonkudelka goes to the shops and gets himself chips but doesn’t even ask if I want anything I want to go home

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 4:16 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

I so like it when political activists bitch at each other about how more miserable their misery is than the other’s, as if that’s the KPI.

via Janetter for Mac

5at5daily Just published: “5at5 number 5x5 | 1 April 2014” tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5… Subscribe at tinyletter.com/5at5/

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:10 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @0xAli: Hello Internet, it’s April fools day. Entertain me! [OK, lie down and close your eyes. Try to relax.]

via Janetter for Mac

@nancycato1 Hah! Sadly, I’ll be around for a bit longer. Nicely played. [Bows.]

via Janetter for Mac in reply to nancycato1

@nancycato1 Almost, Ms Cato, almost… [shuffles away]

via Janetter for Mac in reply to nancycato1

People who go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the same subject as if it’s the only damn thing in the world.

via Janetter for Mac

feitclub The best thing about pregnant women is the free Wifi pic.twitter.com/DozRPXnulg

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:26 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Plume for Android)

@LiamPomfret @vealmince One of my favourite server performance problems was down to the family of mice who’d nested inside it for warmth.

via Plume for Android in reply to LiamPomfret

@LiamPomfret @vealmince True. I / clients have lost hardware and data to all manner of critters over the years.

via Plume for Android in reply to LiamPomfret

That said, @vealmince, years back, every SME user attributed any IT performance issue to “virus”. Now it’s all “I’m being hacked”.

via Plume for Android

vealmince ‘Our computer was hacked’ is the new ‘dog ate my homework’. abc.net.au/news/2014-04-0…

via MetroTwit (retweeted on 2:06 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Plume for Android)

Also good, @NewtonMark, is Minister Piccoli’s assertion about hacking when he says he knows nothing about IT. I’d put my money elsewhere.

via Plume for Android in reply to NewtonMark

NewtonMark NSW Education Minister Piccoli’s understanding of April Fools Day is 100% opposite to normal peoples’ understanding. arseh.at/4juw

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 1:59 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Plume for Android)

Final plug: Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Plibersek loses our privacy in a haystack of envelopes”, on metadata etc. zdnet.com/plibersek-lose…

via Janetter for Mac

mattblaze Remember, people in the southern hemisphere observe “October fools day” and will be confused & angered by your pranks tomorrow.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 1:14 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

CyberPrefixerAU WA cyberwarning after cybercrocodile lunges at cyberwoman, another takes cyberdog

via CyberPrefixer AU (retweeted on 1:02 PM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

“LPD: Libertarian Police Department”, which is very good. newyorker.com/online/blogs/s… HT @dizzylimit via @Colvinius

via Janetter for Mac

@scottcarson1957 I shall not regale you with terrible stories about our free socialised healthcare then.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

RT @flickster99: Huge amount of industry knowledge on display at the panel. pic.twitter.com/AtxikJRLeO [Middle-aged white guys?]

via Janetter for Mac

@beneltham Mungo only knows history back to when he was born. ;)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to beneltham

@scottcarson1957 Some people pay good money for that sort of thing.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

@domknight Yeah it’s becoming a pretty grim ride. Sorry to hear you’ve been visited by Mistress Insomnia too.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to domknight

@scottcarson1957 Understood, that would’ve been a read climb-the-walls day. :/

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

@scottcarson1957 Ouch! Hope you get rid of that quickly, I had a similar thing from a spider bite as a kid and know it’s not fun.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to scottcarson1957

RT @jonoabroad: @stilgherrian @joshgnosis what do the gay mob put in peoples bed? Is it still a horses head? [A bear, I think.]

via Janetter for Mac

@expectproblems If only. I have to wait for the OS X version.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to expectproblems

And I’m being trolled by a crimson rosella.

via Janetter for Mac

Starting to notice the inevitable effects of a long series of three-hour nights of sleep.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @dannolan: youtube *crying with laughter* pic.twitter.com/uLtKE9j8to [I love you Earthlings so much!]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @jeamland: So, umm, @stilgherrianpic.twitter.com/OSERxdoxwX [OH. MY. SWEET. FUCKING. LORD. THIS. IS. JUST. OARSUM.]

via Janetter for Mac

@BundyB Oh I’m with you on this one…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BundyB

“Talking Facebook and infidelity on ABC @702sydney”, 5 mins audio with @robbie_buck from earlier about “Big Cat”. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…

via Janetter for Mac

Oh dear, just got a spam with the subject “How Much Lexapro Is Fatal?”

via Janetter for Mac

Interesting interview was interesting.

via Janetter for Mac

Right, time to “dial” in to a phone interview. Baxoon.

via Janetter for Mac

“April Fools’ Day prank: parents sent SMS saying school closed”, reports @meganlevy smh.com.au/technology/tec…

via Janetter for Mac

iamdevloper LinkedIn is like that creepy uncle who shakes your hand for a tiny bit longer than is appropriate.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 10:58 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

I agree with @rynobi, this stunt by Nova’s Fitzy against his bosses (“I’ve fuckin’ had enough”) is fine work. novafm.com.au/station/nation…

via Janetter for Mac

CyberPrefixerAU Two cybermen foil armed cyberrobbery by making cybercitizen’s cyberarrest at Bondi Junction

via CyberPrefixer AU (retweeted on 10:32 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

SnarkyPlatypus Each time you make an April Fool’s joke, Tony Abbott wins one more term as PM.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 10:30 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

I always knew that @CNN was really run from a SEKRIT undersea lair. Thanks, @ErikWemple @morningmoneyben @dobes!

via Janetter for Mac

morningmoneyben Sweet Jesus RT”@ErikWemple: Tom Foreman on @CNN just turned out the lights in the studio to demonstrate how dark it is at bottom of ocean.”

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:25 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

So @ingating’s Twitter has been pwned.

via Janetter for Mac

@riskybusiness @joshgnosis Let’s not get too carried away here. At least not before lunch.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

@riskybusiness @joshgnosis This is one of those days when I agree with Patrick.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to riskybusiness

@joshgnosis Oh I know I was picked up the media monitoring. I have… email.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

And according to commenters, @joshgnosis… well, fan mail… I am “annoying and juvenile”.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @joshgnosis: According to commenters, I’m leading the gay mob against the Mozilla CEO. OKCupid is on board now. tcrn.ch/1gi65wq

via Janetter for Mac

10 May UA 870 SYD-SFO, 18 May UA863 SFO-SYD.

via Janetter for Mac

I have made a serious error with paprika.

via Janetter for Mac

@jeamland Well that all sounds most intriguing, except for the Jetstar bit.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jeamland

MT @benschott: My favorite April Fool’s Day foolery pic.twitter.com/Q9ELgfXTbj [To which I’d add “a pad of verbal agreement forms”.]

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus Which part of “£8.99 buffet” are you having trouble with?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

GreenJ it is the unique gift of condescending conservative poseurs, that they, uniquely, understand the true mind & spirt of the common Australian.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 9:17 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @BernardKeane: SBS board appointments feature some familiar faces bit.ly/1htltdW [Disturbingly familiar.]

via Janetter for Mac

paulwallbank RT @BenedictEvans: The platform wars are fun to talk about, but this is what matters. pic.twitter.com/VW9Zqmknjs

via Echofon (retweeted on 9:15 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

@joshgnosis Why are you dissatisfied with dinosaurs? You have so many dinosaurs.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

Me at @zdnetaustralia yesterday: “Plibersek loses our privacy in a haystack of envelopes”, on metadata etc. zdnet.com/plibersek-lose…

via Janetter for Mac

Tue plan: Radio spot (done); 1100 phone interview; a day primarily of planning, research and comms, however; @5at5daily; evening TBA.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @johnemcintyre: Your complaints about young people and text-speak are tiresome and idle. bsun.md/O9yuxY [Hear hear!]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @GreenJ: bonfire of the elites. [Lattenacht is imminent.]

via Janetter for Mac

New blog post: “Talking Facebook and infidelity on ABC @702sydney”, 5 mins audio with @robbie_buck from earlier. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…

via Janetter for Mac

New blog post: “Talking ID and security on ABC @1057darwin”, 6 mins audio from yesterday. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…

via Janetter for Mac

davpope The quixotic Sir Pository <my cartoon in today’s @canberratimes goo.gl/oc0BNQ> pic.twitter.com/mIdgx6WIRH

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:54 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

paulkidd Checking the @GuardianAus website for news about Australia sending asylum seekers to the island nation San Serriffe. Nothing so far.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 7:41 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

Thank you, @CassPF @hollingsworth @prestontowers @19bk69 @sylmobile @fleafeet and others, that was @robbie_buck’s evil mind at work.

via Janetter for Mac

I should say, @702sydney, EVERYTHING in that yarn was true apart from the new Big Cat technology itself.

via Janetter for Mac

On hold for ABC @702sydney to talk Facebook stuff. Listen in at abc.net.au/sydney/

via Janetter for Mac

chris23 Germany bans managers from calling or emailing staff after work hours ibnlive.in.com/news/germany-b…

via Twitter for Websites (retweeted on 7:15 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

llament @jeamland @stilgherrian More seriously there’s evidence that the carbon tax is causing unmarried daughters to discard their white dresses

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:15 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @jeamland: Pozible to buy @stilgherrian a copy of Goat Simulator and a horrifying quantity of drugs. And several webcams. [Goodness.]

via Janetter for Mac

“Mr Rabbit, red wine or white?” “The carbon tax is destroying the wine industry.” “And your steak? How?” “Carbon tax bad for beef. Bad.”

via Janetter for Mac

I say, Mr Rabbit’s comments on the IPCC report are remarkably tone-deaf. Actually, not that remarkably. smh.com.au/national/un-cl…

via Janetter for Mac

I’m talking about disturbing new tech Facebook is trialling on ABC @702sydney at 0710 AEDT or so. Listen at abc.net.au/sydney/

via Janetter for Mac

“[NZ] Internet Party has shed more light on its proposed ‘government-sponsored digital currency’ unveiled last week.” stuff.co.nz/technology/dig…

via Janetter for Mac

@llament @zdnetaustralia I hadn’t even thought of that angle but, yes, it’s a turn-off for a section of Labor voters who’d go Green instead.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to llament

@ResignInShame Done. I’ll let you know when I next have a trip which includes time for a social bit.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ResignInShame

I’ll be talking about disturbing new tech Facebook is trialling on ABC @702sydney at around 0710 AEDT. Live stream at abc.net.au/sydney/

via Janetter for Mac

RT @BlogsofWarTech Scientists have grown fake muscles that could soon replace the real thing goo.gl/J1yBQF [Jersey Shore: The Lab.]

via Janetter for Mac

Me at @zdnetaustralia yesterday: “Plibersek loses our privacy in a haystack of envelopes”, on metadata etc. zdnet.com/plibersek-lose…

via Janetter for Mac

umairh We have: no working healthcare, mass unemployment, a generation in perma-debt, rigged markets, a broken democracy. We are: making apps.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:08 AM, Apr 1st, 2014 via Janetter for Mac)

Tue plan, draft: 0710 radio spot; 1100 phone interview; a day primarily of planning, research and comms, however; @5at5daily; evening TBA.

via Janetter for Mac

@jonoabroad It generally takes the first hour or so after waking to sort dreams from reality.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jonoabroad

@ResignInShame Sure, though it’s far more likely to be Katoomba. If I’m making the journey from the scrub, it’s usually for more errands.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ResignInShame

@ResignInShame Glad you enjoyed it. (Sorry for the delay, I had to get all that other stuff out of my brain first.)

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ResignInShame

Anyway, I’m OK now, lah. ✌

via Janetter for Mac

@marcuskelson @swearyanthony @SnarkyPlatypus @TJLayton Daily 5-minute podcast at 0700, reporting my dreams and the news headlines.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to marcuskelson

Thank you for letting me “share” that with you, @SnarkyPlatypus @swearyanthony @marcuskelson @TJLayton, I’ll write it somewhere.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @johnthelutheran: Sounds like your next Kickstarter proposal is writing itself. [Or my next trip to a padded room.]

via Janetter for Mac

I am shaking and a little afraid.

via Janetter for Mac

And so here we are.

via Janetter for Mac

Then, in real life, I had to go to the bathroom, and I did, but when I went back to bed and dozed off the dream just started over again.

via Janetter for Mac

It was like some really weird gay Singaporean share house shopping mall hell.

via Janetter for Mac

They thought taking the photo of the monument was weird, too, because it had no people in it, that I should take a photo of them in a mall.

via Janetter for Mac

And when I said that I didn’t want a speech bubble in the photo I’d just taken of a monument, they all looked at me as if I were insane.

via Janetter for Mac

“How can you not know how to add a speech bubble?! Look, you can choose the colours like this! How many stars do you want around it?”

via Janetter for Mac

And then they all mocked me for not knowing how to use every single cheesy photo enhancement app on my smartphone.

via Janetter for Mac

As soon as I turned my back, they would all get into a huge argument in Chinese about who had to pay for which “meal”.

via Janetter for Mac

I would be polite and try some, but it all tasted the same. I would smile, but they would know that I was lying and be disappointed.

via Janetter for Mac

Except no matter what the food was, it was all a strip of extruded pastel-coloured stuff like plasticine and tasted like cheap meringue.

via Janetter for Mac

And they were constantly telling me I had to try this food and that food and that it was all wonderful and the best thing and I’d love it.

via Janetter for Mac

Like, the cling wrap dispenser was metered, and cost $0.01 per inch of cling wrap used. Water was $100 a bottle. Electricity by the minute.

via Janetter for Mac

I dreamed that every gay Singaporean I’ve ever met was driving with me around my hometown and to an apartment with a pay-as-you-go kitchen.

via Janetter for Mac

It is Tuesday and it is cold and dark and I have just had a long and extremely annoying dream that I am going to tell you about.

via Janetter for Mac