@mongrel43 @NewtonMark @Mudgutz @petedavo_au The Dunning-Kruger Effect in full flight?
@missdi_k Sorry, it’s a bit far.
@NewtonMark @Mudgutz @mongrel43 @petedavo_au Agreed. “It works on so many levels.”
@Mudgutz @Asher_Wolf @mongrel43 @NewtonMark @petedavo_au Explore, Sir, explore! yourdigitalfile.com/f
@Mudgutz @Asher_Wolf @mongrel43 @NewtonMark @petedavo_au An accounting founding a company and hiring crypto.
@Mudgutz @Asher_Wolf @mongrel43 @NewtonMark @petedavo_au Family Affairs Security Vault Pty Ltd, ACN 151838354, registered 30/06/2011.
@Mudgutz @NewtonMark @mongrel43 @petedavo_au WHOIS on the domain goes back to 2012. Checking company registration now.
FATJEW “When my doctor feels my balls to check for lumps, it’s ok to run my hands through his hair right?”
NewtonMark That is seriously my favorite thing on the internet today. That and CIO Magazine’s editor :)
“Not a physical key, like you’d use in your front door, but it works in much the same way… It’s called a ‘Private Key’.” So there.
“Your Digital File is automatically scrambled, so you can’t open and read it without the right ‘key’…”
This appears to be an actual thing. There are prices. yourdigitalfile.com/pricing/
“100% confidential – It’s impossible for anyone to access your documents without your authorityyourdigitalfile.comkj
“Uses the company’s Cryptoloc encryption algorithms, which means users need more than a password to access confidential files.”
@mongrel43 @NewtonMark @petedavo_au Isn’t it… just… insane?
NewtonMark Hahaaha no no you cannot do this oh my god. RT @petedavo_au: Local firm claims world’s most secure cloud storage cio.com.au/article/541772…
RT @Paul_Murton: How much shit should I give Jonathan for coming out to dinner with his polo shirt inside-out? #twitterdecides [Truckloads.]
“LPD: Libertarian Police Department”, which is very good. newyorker.com/online/blogs/s… HT @dizzylimit via @Colvinius
“Vulnerable Sam: Inflatable Child Substitute” (1972) scarfolk.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/vulner… pic.twitter.com/6O4HFLXLC0
CyberPrefixerAU Lawyer sues Queensland Premier and A-G over cyberbikie comments
Tim_Coronel @stilgherrian odd, if it was two bottles shiraz, one block choc that’d be ‘Bon vivant’ yet two bottles Shiraz, one bottle scotch = ‘problem’
I don’t want wine. [Sulks.]
@MsPraxis @R_Chirgwin Well, not “bad” as such, but it does complicate things somewhat.
RT @R_Chirgwin: Ms T says you inverted the quantities. [She has a point.]
Fuck. I just realised I bought wine and two blocks of chocolate. I’m turning into a menopausal woman.
Starting a list: “Things to Launch into the Sun”. What are your suggestions? #launchitintothesun
@R_Chirgwin So, Alain de Botton?
@PointZeroOne Tell him to put milk on it.
Later up, we can take turns poking @R_Chirgwin with a stick.
Note what is happening here, people! I am trying to persuade someone to lift the standard of debate. Well, @R_Chirgwin, but still.
@R_Chirgwin Or, you know, the stuff your super fund wants to invest in just got more attractive. Must you wallow in the $2 Shop of culture?
@oberonsghost @R_Chirgwin Yes, and Mr Kohler could demonstrate, in a sort of mime thing.
@R_Chirgwin Maybe replace that with “turgid” and “flaccid”.
@R_Chirgwin That should have been “weird-arse”, but hey, “world-arse” is like “world music”.
@R_Chirgwin Frogs, eh? You are so screwed now.
@R_Chirgwin And to teach cranky blokes not to interpret financial journalism in light of their own world-arse fantasy world? (I’m helping.)
@R_Chirgwin Is there anything in the media you do approve of?
The botnets appear to be busy today. I guess 1 April is a great day for scamming people.
I did that joke ages ago. :(
@SnarkyPlatypus Oui.
If you missed today’s @5at5daily, you missed playgrounds, mining booms, terrorism, and matchmaking for the over-60s. tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5…
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Guerre, c’est l’enfer. Et vous?
@YingHaoLi Ta. :)
BernardKeane why all the excitement about Goatse Simulator?
@PointZeroOne Stop that.
@YingHaoLi And I know that’s Justice Bennett’s gig.
@YingHaoLi Heh. True. Well I’ll be in there again at some point. Apple v Samsung will eventually end, for example.
Revenge of the Paprika Misjudgement is in progress. (See tweets from this morning.)
@YingHaoLi Thanks, I’ll see how early a 2-hour train I manage to catch.
@gavincostello Indeed. And having seen what some of the kids can do with networked cars… eek !
@YingHaoLi True, 99% is routine turning of the wheels of justice. But every now and then we spot something of passing interest.
@YingHaoLi This is not a secret document. ;) fedcourt.gov.au/court-calendar…
@YingHaoLi Looking idly at court lists and police media releases, it’s a journalist thing.
@YingHaoLi I’ve no idea which Chambers you’re in. I get the daily email, so I just looked to see what was in Court 18A tomorrow.
@YingHaoLi Federal Court Sydney? I’m looking at the court list as we speak. Bit of a mixed bag before Edmonds J?
@bigmac It’s all bullshit, take your pick.
@gavincostello What, “badly”?
puellavulnerata A web browser doesn’t so much have an attack surface as an fractal attack sponge of infinite area.
RT @defcoin: Tired of making real money with your GPU farm? Why not mine defcoin instead? [HT @thegrugq, ping @bigmac]
@bigmac You’ve been spending quite a bit of time in that dedicated comedy channel for a while now.
@jonoabroad @jeamland Oh.
@drearyclocks @seamus Yeah, $500 of blow will do “unreasonably excited”.
@jonoabroad @jeamland I don’t “whinge”.
RT @GuardianAus: Sea Shepherd calls for global police after Japan whaling ruling video trib.al/OxQQsnp [Hahaha cue South Park.]
I obviously get far fewer press releases than other Australian tech writers.
It seems to be Tourism Pensioner Tuesday in Katoomba today.
@andrewdotnich @PointZeroOne @GordyPls @NewtonMark Oh yes. I know how to write such things.
@PointZeroOne @GordyPls @NewtonMark @andrewdotnich Oh I sorted that. Timesheet was the input to payroll. No timesheet, no pay.
@NewtonMark @andrewdotnich I’ve found it useful to do the @GordyPls and track actual work against estimate and refine quotes, but hey.
@NewtonMark @andrewdotnich You’re at a slightly different point in the food chain, Mark. (Also, I wasn’t speaking any specific scenario.)
@NewtonMark @andrewdotnich Well employees are arsehats.
@andrewdotnich @NewtonMark I know of a case where six months later an employee found they’d been shorter on super. Needed those timesheets.
@NewtonMark @andrewdotnich True, it depends on the circumstances, but the overhead is tiny. And employees might claim being shorted.
@andrewdotnich Big or small, you need an evidence trail in case a customer challenges the bill and it ends up in court. @NewtonMark
Last Tango in Lilyfield.
@rwang0 Bugger that! Ship them all to rural Nigeria for a month, and dump them naked on a river bank. Then lose the GPS coordinates.
RT @GreenJ: ABC news corrections page. an enhancement to a pretty rigorous process. abc.net.au/news/correctio… [So, like Viagra for the news.]
@R_Chirgwin @snerdish @Asher_Wolf Faint praise indeed, Richard.
@bigjonhughes Ah! Maybe drop your details to @tinyletter support, they seem to be linking to it from Twitter. Good luck.
@snerdish @Asher_Wolf This is my entire point! I bet she eats chips as well.
@jonkudelka @firstdogonmoon But the fact remains, you do not actually have chips, do you.
@snerdish In saw @Asher_Wolf smile once. It’s all an elaborate fraud.
So you mean “crisps”, you arsehats @jonkudelka @firstdogonmoon. GET PROPER CHIPS AND SOME SEAGULLS.
firstdogonmoon OH FOR GODS SAKE THEY ARE SALT AND VINEGAR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? #whiskytour
@Asher_Wolf ROFL. My comment was inspired by events on another continent entirely. I’m happy for you to pwn this one’s misery.
firstdogonmoon So @jonkudelka goes to the shops and gets himself chips but doesn’t even ask if I want anything #whiskytour I want to go home
I so like it when political activists bitch at each other about how more miserable their misery is than the other’s, as if that’s the KPI.
5at5daily Just published: “5at5 number 5x5 | 1 April 2014” tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5… Subscribe at tinyletter.com/5at5/
RT @0xAli: Hello Internet, it’s April fools day. Entertain me! [OK, lie down and close your eyes. Try to relax.]
@nancycato1 Hah! Sadly, I’ll be around for a bit longer. Nicely played. [Bows.]
@nancycato1 Almost, Ms Cato, almost… [shuffles away]
@NewtonMark Oh Simon’s not THAT bad, surely?
People who go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the same subject as if it’s the only damn thing in the world.
feitclub The best thing about pregnant women is the free Wifi pic.twitter.com/DozRPXnulg
K-town.
@LiamPomfret @vealmince One of my favourite server performance problems was down to the family of mice who’d nested inside it for warmth.
@LiamPomfret @vealmince True. I / clients have lost hardware and data to all manner of critters over the years.
That said, @vealmince, years back, every SME user attributed any IT performance issue to “virus”. Now it’s all “I’m being hacked”.
vealmince ‘Our computer was hacked’ is the new ‘dog ate my homework’. abc.net.au/news/2014-04-0…
Also good, @NewtonMark, is Minister Piccoli’s assertion about hacking when he says he knows nothing about IT. I’d put my money elsewhere.
NewtonMark NSW Education Minister Piccoli’s understanding of April Fools Day is 100% opposite to normal peoples’ understanding. arseh.at/4juw
Final plug: Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Plibersek loses our privacy in a haystack of envelopes”, on metadata etc. zdnet.com/plibersek-lose…
@domknight Thanks. Appreciated.
mattblaze Remember, people in the southern hemisphere observe “October fools day” and will be confused & angered by your pranks tomorrow.
CyberPrefixerAU WA cyberwarning after cybercrocodile lunges at cyberwoman, another takes cyberdog
@scottcarson1957 Ah this is true.
“LPD: Libertarian Police Department”, which is very good. newyorker.com/online/blogs/s… HT @dizzylimit via @Colvinius
@scottcarson1957 I shall not regale you with terrible stories about our free socialised healthcare then.
RT @flickster99: Huge amount of industry knowledge on display at the #F5Agility panel. pic.twitter.com/AtxikJRLeO [Middle-aged white guys?]
@beneltham Mungo only knows history back to when he was born. ;)
@scottcarson1957 Some people pay good money for that sort of thing.
@domknight Yeah it’s becoming a pretty grim ride. Sorry to hear you’ve been visited by Mistress Insomnia too.
@scottcarson1957 Understood, that would’ve been a read climb-the-walls day. :/
@scottcarson1957 Ouch! Hope you get rid of that quickly, I had a similar thing from a spider bite as a kid and know it’s not fun.
RT @jonoabroad: @stilgherrian @joshgnosis what do the gay mob put in peoples bed? Is it still a horses head? [A bear, I think.]
@expectproblems If only. I have to wait for the OS X version.
And I’m being trolled by a crimson rosella.
Starting to notice the inevitable effects of a long series of three-hour nights of sleep.
RT @dannolan: youtube *crying with laughter* pic.twitter.com/uLtKE9j8to [I love you Earthlings so much!]
RT @jeamland: So, umm, @stilgherrian… pic.twitter.com/OSERxdoxwX [OH. MY. SWEET. FUCKING. LORD. THIS. IS. JUST. OARSUM.]
@lewellyn They did not. They are bastards.
@BundyB Oh I’m with you on this one…
“Talking Facebook and infidelity on ABC @702sydney”, 5 mins audio with @robbie_buck from earlier about “Big Cat”. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…
Oh dear, just got a spam with the subject “How Much Lexapro Is Fatal?”
Interesting interview was interesting.
Right, time to “dial” in to a phone interview. Baxoon.
“April Fools’ Day prank: parents sent SMS saying school closed”, reports @meganlevy smh.com.au/technology/tec…
iamdevloper LinkedIn is like that creepy uncle who shakes your hand for a tiny bit longer than is appropriate.
I agree with @rynobi, this stunt by Nova’s Fitzy against his bosses (“I’ve fuckin’ had enough”) is fine work. novafm.com.au/station/nation…
CyberPrefixerAU Two cybermen foil armed cyberrobbery by making cybercitizen’s cyberarrest at Bondi Junction
SnarkyPlatypus Each time you make an April Fool’s joke, Tony Abbott wins one more term as PM.
I always knew that @CNN was really run from a SEKRIT undersea lair. Thanks, @ErikWemple @morningmoneyben @dobes!
morningmoneyben Sweet Jesus RT”@ErikWemple: Tom Foreman on @CNN just turned out the lights in the studio to demonstrate how dark it is at bottom of ocean.”
So @ingating’s Twitter has been pwned.
@riskybusiness @joshgnosis Let’s not get too carried away here. At least not before lunch.
@riskybusiness @joshgnosis This is one of those days when I agree with Patrick.
@joshgnosis Oh I know I was picked up the media monitoring. I have… email.
@gusworldau You’re not helping. And neither is @PointZeroOne.
And according to commenters, @joshgnosis… well, fan mail… I am “annoying and juvenile”.
RT @joshgnosis: According to commenters, I’m leading the gay mob against the Mozilla CEO. OKCupid is on board now. tcrn.ch/1gi65wq
10 May UA 870 SYD-SFO, 18 May UA863 SFO-SYD.
I have made a serious error with paprika.
@lozdee True. And now @joshgnosis has a mission.
@jeamland Well that all sounds most intriguing, except for the Jetstar bit.
MT @benschott: My favorite April Fool’s Day foolery pic.twitter.com/Q9ELgfXTbj [To which I’d add “a pad of verbal agreement forms”.]
@yinettesys @SnarkyPlatypus Is that the trendy new Japanese dish?
@SnarkyPlatypus Which part of “£8.99 buffet” are you having trouble with?
GreenJ it is the unique gift of condescending conservative poseurs, that they, uniquely, understand the true mind & spirt of the common Australian.
RT @BernardKeane: SBS board appointments feature some familiar faces bit.ly/1htltdW [Disturbingly familiar.]
paulwallbank RT @BenedictEvans: The platform wars are fun to talk about, but this is what matters. pic.twitter.com/VW9Zqmknjs
@joshgnosis Why are you dissatisfied with dinosaurs? You have so many dinosaurs.
Me at @zdnetaustralia yesterday: “Plibersek loses our privacy in a haystack of envelopes”, on metadata etc. zdnet.com/plibersek-lose…
Tue plan: Radio spot (done); 1100 phone interview; a day primarily of planning, research and comms, however; @5at5daily; evening TBA.
RT @johnemcintyre: Your complaints about young people and text-speak are tiresome and idle. bsun.md/O9yuxY [Hear hear!]
@jeamland So where were we?
RT @GreenJ: bonfire of the elites. [Lattenacht is imminent.]
New blog post: “Talking Facebook and infidelity on ABC @702sydney”, 5 mins audio with @robbie_buck from earlier. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…
@mandy_pops @702sydney Thanks very much.
New blog post: “Talking ID and security on ABC @1057darwin”, 6 mins audio from yesterday. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…
davpope The quixotic Sir Pository <my #IPCC #climate cartoon in today’s @canberratimes goo.gl/oc0BNQ> pic.twitter.com/mIdgx6WIRH
@prestontowers @CassPF @hollingsworth @19bk69 @sylmobile @fleafeet @robbie_buck Yeah that was a KPI, achieved.
@prestontowers @CassPF @hollingsworth @19bk69 @sylmobile @fleafeet @robbie_buck We didn’t use the key joke: Big Cat is for finding cheaters.
@prestontowers @CassPF @hollingsworth @19bk69 @sylmobile @fleafeet @robbie_buck We workshopped it in a brief phone call last night.
paulkidd Checking the @GuardianAus website for news about Australia sending asylum seekers to the island nation San Serriffe. Nothing so far.
Thank you, @CassPF @hollingsworth @prestontowers @19bk69 @sylmobile @fleafeet and others, that was @robbie_buck’s evil mind at work.
I should say, @702sydney, EVERYTHING in that yarn was true apart from the new Big Cat technology itself.
Sprung.
Here we go…
@702sydney Dropped out!
On hold for ABC @702sydney to talk Facebook stuff. Listen in at abc.net.au/sydney/
chris23 Germany bans managers from calling or emailing staff after work hours ibnlive.in.com/news/germany-b…
llament @jeamland @stilgherrian More seriously there’s evidence that the carbon tax is causing unmarried daughters to discard their white dresses
RT @jeamland: Pozible to buy @stilgherrian a copy of Goat Simulator and a horrifying quantity of drugs. And several webcams. [Goodness.]
“Mr Rabbit, red wine or white?” “The carbon tax is destroying the wine industry.” “And your steak? How?” “Carbon tax bad for beef. Bad.”
I say, Mr Rabbit’s comments on the IPCC report are remarkably tone-deaf. Actually, not that remarkably. smh.com.au/national/un-cl…
I’m talking about disturbing new tech Facebook is trialling on ABC @702sydney at 0710 AEDT or so. Listen at abc.net.au/sydney/
“[NZ] Internet Party has shed more light on its proposed ‘government-sponsored digital currency’ unveiled last week.” stuff.co.nz/technology/dig…
@llament @zdnetaustralia I hadn’t even thought of that angle but, yes, it’s a turn-off for a section of Labor voters who’d go Green instead.
@ResignInShame Done. I’ll let you know when I next have a trip which includes time for a social bit.
I’ll be talking about disturbing new tech Facebook is trialling on ABC @702sydney at around 0710 AEDT. Live stream at abc.net.au/sydney/
RT @BlogsofWarTech Scientists have grown fake muscles that could soon replace the real thing goo.gl/J1yBQF [Jersey Shore: The Lab.]
Me at @zdnetaustralia yesterday: “Plibersek loses our privacy in a haystack of envelopes”, on metadata etc. zdnet.com/plibersek-lose…
umairh We have: no working healthcare, mass unemployment, a generation in perma-debt, rigged markets, a broken democracy. We are: making apps.
Tue plan, draft: 0710 radio spot; 1100 phone interview; a day primarily of planning, research and comms, however; @5at5daily; evening TBA.
@jonoabroad It generally takes the first hour or so after waking to sort dreams from reality.
@ResignInShame Sure, though it’s far more likely to be Katoomba. If I’m making the journey from the scrub, it’s usually for more errands.
@ResignInShame Glad you enjoyed it. (Sorry for the delay, I had to get all that other stuff out of my brain first.)
Anyway, I’m OK now, lah. ✌
@marcuskelson @swearyanthony @SnarkyPlatypus @TJLayton Daily 5-minute podcast at 0700, reporting my dreams and the news headlines.
@swearyanthony @SnarkyPlatypus @marcuskelson @TJLayton Any dream diary I did would be rather disturbing.
Thank you for letting me “share” that with you, @SnarkyPlatypus @swearyanthony @marcuskelson @TJLayton, I’ll write it somewhere.
RT @johnthelutheran: Sounds like your next Kickstarter proposal is writing itself. [Or my next trip to a padded room.]
I am shaking and a little afraid.
And so here we are.
Then, in real life, I had to go to the bathroom, and I did, but when I went back to bed and dozed off the dream just started over again.
It was like some really weird gay Singaporean share house shopping mall hell.
They thought taking the photo of the monument was weird, too, because it had no people in it, that I should take a photo of them in a mall.
And when I said that I didn’t want a speech bubble in the photo I’d just taken of a monument, they all looked at me as if I were insane.
“How can you not know how to add a speech bubble?! Look, you can choose the colours like this! How many stars do you want around it?”
And then they all mocked me for not knowing how to use every single cheesy photo enhancement app on my smartphone.
As soon as I turned my back, they would all get into a huge argument in Chinese about who had to pay for which “meal”.
I would be polite and try some, but it all tasted the same. I would smile, but they would know that I was lying and be disappointed.
Except no matter what the food was, it was all a strip of extruded pastel-coloured stuff like plasticine and tasted like cheap meringue.
And they were constantly telling me I had to try this food and that food and that it was all wonderful and the best thing and I’d love it.
Like, the cling wrap dispenser was metered, and cost $0.01 per inch of cling wrap used. Water was $100 a bottle. Electricity by the minute.
I dreamed that every gay Singaporean I’ve ever met was driving with me around my hometown and to an apartment with a pay-as-you-go kitchen.
It is Tuesday and it is cold and dark and I have just had a long and extremely annoying dream that I am going to tell you about.