And on that hilarious, rubberised note, I’m off. I have an early start tomorrow.
Just think, all those elected members gathered in a room and said, “Yeah, Tony is the bestest one.”
I propose we work out a way to elect an actual goose as Prime Minister. At least it’d lay eggs.
It’s as if Abbott WANTS Abe to lose face.
Prime Ministers Abe and Abbott in try-outs for the Pilbara Synchronised Swimming Team. pic.twitter.com/TmB3GtC9vO
MT @TonyAbbottMHR: PM Abe wearing his gift from Australia - RM Williams boots. pic.twitter.com/TmB3GtC9vO [Lulwut? Major visual arsehattery.]
@davymark1 @Colvinius Take extra care over what you click on. They’ll be building for a final project of some kind.
@davymark1 @Colvinius I’m bunking build your follower counts to build your profiles, then hack your accounts to infect others.
@feverpitch96 One day, yes. The hemlock seems a good choice.
@mpesce Not just that, but also patronising smug racist bullshit, as I have Edict’d previously. stilgherrian.com/edict/00021/
RT @CyberPrefixerAU: Sharp falls in Australian cybersharemarket following US cyberslump [Cyberslump!]
@JL_Whitaker No 100% perfect method, no, but implementing SPF and DKIM on your domain will usually significantly reduce it.
@feverpitch96 Not me, no. I’ll be heading into Sydney on the 0706 train for a busy day.
Pleased that I’ve rescued a lovely older woman in Edinburgh, mother of a long-standing client, from her botnet plague.
@davymark1 @Colvinius A stadium of 50,000 people attracts pickpockets, but online it’s half a billion fans as targets for robots.
@davymark1 @Colvinius Indeed. But I doubt an individual response can happen. You will be one of thousands affected. Bulk response only.
@davymark1 @Colvinius Events like World Cup are battlegrounds. Twitter is distracted managing high traffic, users are eager to click.
@davymark1 @Colvinius @Socceroos … either commercial advantage (Twitter spam) or crime (cluck through to site that infects your computer).
@davymark1 @Colvinius @Socceroos Ah, so the aim is to have many similar tweets end up getting to the top of search results. With the aim…
@davymark1 @Colvinius Ah, right, so it’ll be part of some more complex operation to game advertising stats related to World Cup or the like.
@davymark1 @Colvinius These days you could just hire, oh, 10,000 nodes in a criminal botnet for a few hours. It’d be easy to write.
@davymark1 @Colvinius The “how ” is just running a computer program that repeatedly creates accounts and tells them to follow an individual.
@TwitterAU Is there any way @davymark1 can speed the process of removing the recent thousands of fake followers? @Colvinius
@davymark1 @Colvinius I’m not aware of Sony way of speeding up the process, but we can try something now…
@davymark1 @Colvinius I saw the batch. Poor you. I’m curious as to why you might have been targeted, but then some things are just random.
@davymark1 @Colvinius Problem for Twitter is that if they do a big batch they’re hit with questions, “Why has my follower count dropped?”
@davymark1 @Colvinius In the past I’ve noticed batches of bots being removed at intervals of maybe a few weeks.
@davymark1 @Colvinius Twitter is looking for pattern of dodgy behaviour, much like anti-spam processes for email. It’s an arms race.
This chat about broken reputation metrics reminds me that I spoke about this on “The 9pm Caltrain”, at 23m50s. stilgherrian.com/edict/00025/
@jonoabroad @Colvinius @davymark1 These days, I guess (note word choice) it’s anyone who’ll generate clicks.
@jonoabroad @Colvinius @davymark1 They were considered to have the depth of knowledge to do it well. And it was a perk.
@jonoabroad @Colvinius @davymark1 In newspaper tradition, it was the senior journalists who were let off the leash and allowed to opine.
@jonoabroad @Colvinius @davymark1 It’s only one factor, but an individual’s “pulling power” [sic] has always influenced hiring decisions.
@jonoabroad @Colvinius @davymark1 Not really. Columnists’ selling point has always been audience numbers, same with radio/TV presenters.
@ddowza @Colvinius @davymark1 Online “reputation metrics” are fundamentally broken or, more charitably, in their early infancy.
@ddowza @Colvinius @davymark1 Exactly. It’s just like crowdsourcing or automating bad reviews for your restaurant’s competitors.
@richardaedy The conversation with @Colvinius @davymark1 and others about journalists and fake Twitter followers may be of interest.
@Colvinius @davymark1 Ah fair point. I’d forgotten that. My thought on that being a valid employment metric, well, you may guess that.
While I do like “friend of all monotremes”, @ericscheid @Formulate @gunstone, I’m mentally editing it to “mononyms”. ;)
@ericscheid @Formulate @gunstone That figure is a database search by Medicare, so all citizens and permanent residents, adults and children.
@Colvinius @davymark1 Just to be clear, “fuck yourself” was a joke with a friend about an entirely different thing. async comms fail, maybe?
@Colvinius @davymark1 There’s probably some automated tools to block anyone with zero followers. @leslienassar may know about them.
@Colvinius @davymark1 True. And I’m not being critical, just curious. But there’s nothing practical to do short term… Medium, they’ll go.
Like that, you mean?
Oh go fuck yourself.
@cafedave Indeed. If the snow becomes significant they will close the Great Western Highway in the affected areas.
@davymark1 @Colvinius The fault is Twitter’s, for not having an effective (in this instance) user validation process. Imperfect world. Meh.
@davymark1 @Colvinius I’m not understanding why you guys think some automated report about Twitter’s database is YOUR claim.
@davymark1 @Colvinius There’s nothing you can really do, but as I say they’ll end up being taken away eventually.
@Colvinius @ozjimbob @Kuma (“SMEG” being @franksting’s coinage for “social media expert guru”.)
@Colvinius @ozjimbob @Kuma Meanwhile, all the “influence” measurement is pseudo-science SMEG bullshit. zdnet.com/influence-vani…
@Colvinius @ozjimbob @Kuma But Twitter reporting that an account has X followers is not the account-holder’s claim, unless they boast.
@Colvinius @Kuma I agree with @ozjimbob. Twitter will periodically flush out the fakes. Meanwhile, who cares.
@Colvinius My first question would be why does it even matter? Someone following you places no load on you.
WombatOnPatrol Wombat Wednesday. Walking with the confidence that comes from knowing how totally awesome she really is. #wildoz pic.twitter.com/9CBbZwJcnZ
jkoutsoukis The Sri Lankan Navy band playing Waltzing Matilda. pic.twitter.com/RfollIWfo0
jkoutsoukis Australia’s patrol boats gleaming here in morning sunshine in Cololmbo port. All awaiting arrival of Mr Morrison. pic.twitter.com/YX7uiOLovY
Last time, @cafedave, it was quite pretty. ‘Waratah in the snow’ flic.kr/p/diU8PF
@cafedave For me, potentially inconvenient. I plan to catch the 0706 train to Sydney, but pre-dawn snow could take taxis off the road.
I see that the Katoomba weather forecast is still for snow tomorrow.
@madcatjo2point0 Perhaps. I see such I tiny slice of botnet activity. There’s maybe ~100 email addresses on this server. Tiny, tiny.
@madcatjo2point0 This botnet seems to be a regular visitor. A few thousand attempts over four hours and then it moves on.
@morebento Nah, I think it’s just trying another run, and the password failures get detected and the IP addresses firewalled out quickly.
They’re from all over. So far Russia, Ukraine, India, Argentina, Thailand, Gabon, Vietnam, South Africa, Israel, Chile.
Maybe I should capture the IP addresses it’s using and map them. Could make a useful illustration.
Watching a botnet that had a clients’s email password discover that the password is now different.
@SnarkyPlatypus C’est un euphémisme, peut-être.
@SnarkyPlatypus Une personne de relations publiques ne peut pas participer à une réunion demain, car il a un opossum dans son toit.
The rain begins.
Dear the Media, when your story involves an electronic device, there’s no need to describe it as “high-tech”. It makes you look ignorant.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je viens de découvrir que j’ai été éclipsé par un opossum. Et vous?
@cathywilcox1 Maybe I should have a yarn some time. Or maybe I should follow my doctor’s advice.
@ericscheid Last checked it was roughly 13.5k. About three years back. My name, mononym, Medicare and site:abc.net.au is it.
@jamezpolley Ah, yes of course. I’m not sure if it’s sad or not, but “brief” and “pitch” are so standard media vocabulary It didn’t connect.
@jamezpolley I’m not quite sure where you’re going there, but it sounds worrying.
@expectproblems Yes, it’s got a new logic board and new feet and a new keyboard, so I’ll be a happy man.
@expectproblems No, but I like where your thinking is going there. I mean that my MacBook Pro is alive again.
Now that was the phone call I wanted to receive from the Apple Store.
@UNLMTD1 We’re talking about different things, I think. I’m referring to the Australian Prime Minister’s comments on TV this morning.
RT @juhasaarinen: Wanna go halves, @stilgherrian ? wrd.cm/1xQ59dR [Yes, yes I do.]
What I want to know is when the @SwiftOnSecurity book is being published.
SwiftOnSecurity I am the future. And I say the future is full of birth control and ponies.
kgosztola NSA placeholder used in instructions for formatting internal memos justifying surveillance: “Mohammed Raghead” pic.twitter.com/G2a9fvQ5BR
@troyhunt @staticsan @haveibeenpwned Oops, I was relying on my excellent* memory. 152M is even more excellent* of course.
RT @nschultz: reintermediation as a service ? [It would seem so. Arsehats.]
@artywah I’ve deleted it now and can’t be arsed going back, but I think it was not them.
When someone always says “brands” rather than “businesses” or “companies”, reach for your shotgun. You’ll need it soon enough.
“Develop content with brands It’s content. It’s conversation. It’s social amplification.” It’s self-aggrandising bullshit, you mean.
RT @NewtonMark: You should start a discussion with them, and publish every word. Like the guys who scam Nigerian scammers. [Nice idea.]
Mind you, I heard this week what some bloggers reckon they should charge to write what we used to call advertorial. Hilarious.
RT @scottcarson1957: Maybe if they had used the phrase ‘cyber leverage?” [Well exactly, I can cyber leverage things all the way up.]
“As a professional in the field of social media and content, you simply quote the brand for time and effort required to produce [content].”
So, rather than these “brands” just emailing me any time they like, this mob insert themselves into the middle.
“Brands send you briefs directly, and it’s then completely up to you whether you wish to discuss further, accept or simply decline.”
“We’re a platform that puts relevant brands in touch with Influencers … to create content and conversation through social media.”
Actually I haven’t deleted it quite yet. Let me bring you more from these arsehats who’ve clearly never bothered to look at my work.
“Hi Stilgherrian, We’re getting in touch as we’ve identified you as a Social Media Influencer…” *deletes email*
The Australian government’s concept of transparency in these internet matters continues to be akin to a cow on a 10-day ketamine binge.
Australian government agencies can still block websites under s313, telling anyone is ‘voluntary’, writes @joshgnosis zdnet.com/au/voluntary-o…
gruber “…the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars.nationaljournal.com/energy/kentuck…C1
NewtonMark I’m thinking the whole “handing children over to totalitarian torturers” thing won’t be in many Defence Force recruitment ads.
I tell you what, @jeamland, that’s a new segment in “The 9pm Edict”.
Re the @jeamland retweet just then, “Putting the Agony back into Agony Aunt”…
jeamland Pitch: A @stilgherrian Agony Aunt-style column. People tell him how someone’s misbehaved and he advises on the best way to abuse them.
@jplonie Funny you should mention that…
@staticsan Thank @troyhunt for @haveibeenpwned, but yeah Adobe is the big one. 142M accounts and shit crypto on the passwords.
That’s the second client in a couple weeks who’s had their email hijacked after being @haveibeenpwned in the Adobe data breach.
*Looks up client’s email address at @haveibeenpwned, and the answer is yes*
Oh, so THAT’S why AMP and CBSi have been rejecting my email. *Changes a password, kicks spammers out of client’s email account*
@oberonsghost I’m saddened to hear that. I hope the evil creature leaves soon.
RT @semibogan: pic.twitter.com/F0qMRyL3oG [Wow, that’s industrial grade equipment right there! Impressed.]
@jturner_ibrs I can be even more unconvincing for $100. Go for quality, mate.
NightValeRadio If at first you don’t succeed, report immediately for re-education.
fanfiction_txt Stanley the Echidnahog is just an 11-year old boy living a normal life, until he is bitten by a genetically enhanced spider,
@semibogan You’re not helping. Why can’t you be more helpful?
@WarWraith It is the reality. It takes very little sleep loss to seriously impair the old faculties.
I have decided that since I have an early start tomorrow and no computer today, that I’ll just whinge for the next few hours.
Lack of sleep is catching up with me again today. Mistress Insomnia has been most persistent in her attentions.
@jonoabroad Goodness me. That’s shockingly strong language. I have. No idea who this man even is, Officer.
RT @GuardianAus: Dawn Fraser says swimming abuse claims have shamed Australia trib.al/F7LkuBh [The claims? Or the abuse?]
Here’s Mr Rabbit’s “moral blackmail” comments at @GuardianAus, which they got from the telly. trib.al/RSXHOrM
MT @TurnbullMalcolm: With NZ & Korea ICT Ministers @amyadamsMP & Yoon Jong-Lok pic.twitter.com/iojFH3fezp [Nervous game show contestants.]
LOUDBOT THE NOBLEST OF DOGS IS THE HOT DOG, IT FEEDS THE HAND THAT BITES IT
Note to self: “The 9pm Moral Blackmail”.
@TimdeSousa @maxious @FCTweedie @jeamland I think we have a viable startup here. By which I mean a Prezi.
@maxious @TimdeSousa @FCTweedie i can get someone at McKinsey to say that, if it’ll help,
@TimdeSousa @jeamland I think the collective noun is “an exploitation of interns”.
@FCTweedie @TimdeSousa I’m not sure what government data would be involved, unless there’s a National Sock Offender Register? (Oh dear.)
@TimdeSousa And before @jeamland says it, “Hot socks in your area.”
@TimdeSousa It needs to be social. An app to match you with someone in your area with a matching odd sock, and bidding for ownership.
@TimdeSousa Or, in this case, they forget that the majority of people aren’t zooming around without knowing where to get their socks washed.
@TimdeSousa Exactly. And the investors get fooled by hype and rail to do any back of envelope calculations of the industry in question.
@TimdeSousa Stories like that don’t deserve reporting. Laundries have offered pick up and delivery forever. “But it has an app.” So what.
“Arsebook. It’s a social network for people who photocopy their own buttocks at office parties.”
“It’s like an Uber for Bitcoin. I call it WashCoin. An Uber will bring you a Bitcoin for just two Bitcoin.”
RT @juhasaarinen: Web companies rush to plug serious cross-domain hole itnews.com.au/News/389436,we… [Keys in the bowl, everybody.]
Expecting me to shower so often is just hygiene blackmail.
@ssharwood Yep, though if the weather stays cool I should be good right through to October.
Well, since it’s July, I’m going to have a shower. Back soon.
TheOnion Bored Scientists Now Just Sticking Random Things Into Large Hadron Collider onion.com/1r6mFaO pic.twitter.com/WxTtfPhS5h
@HarrisonPolites @BusinessSpec I admire your ability to know what I might have previously thought about electricity prices.
@TomDaveyAus @JYuen15991 Yep, I knew where you were going with it, but of course voices on the @BBC are chosen and identified.
RT @ssharwood: probing [It tickles a little bit.]
@TomDaveyAus No, I’d say it’s more like basing the article on what you overheard at a food court.
I’m just thinking, @davpope, that “popping the boot” may have a rather different meaning for American readers.
@Party4th Indeed. We had a lovely chat though. And it was good to meet so many of your team.
RT @NewtonMark: @stilgherrian @expectproblems Never heard of a cum hangover. [Should I pop over and show you one morning?]
You know, @davpope, the High Court building could also make a good spaceship in a similar context. Not to detract from on-water matters.
Thank you, @davpope, for fine cartooning on the high seas goo.gl/oc0BNQ pic.twitter.com/0DN7qDDQdD
SwiftOnSecurity I promise not to make your heart bleed, @briankrebs. pic.twitter.com/ZSvrNmCNub
SwiftOnSecurity Machines are going to hook us together and sell Human Learning.
@expectproblems It is a certain lifestyle, yes.
@expectproblems This was all when I was 19, so shortly before Federation.
@expectproblems And did I mention that we drank vodka?
@expectproblems What? No, as a breakfast cum hangover cure. Works a treat. About six ounces of vodka is right.
@expectproblems He also invented a Sunday morning drink, the “Ersatz Screwdriver”: a tumbler of vodka and two tablespoons of Tang.
@expectproblems It was a singular experience, certainly. Also, we drank vodka.
It takes a particularly sick, twisted mind to imagine that having the immorality of your actions pointed out is “moral blackmail”.
@expectproblems Wait, I already said that he was Russian.
@expectproblems We would drink vodka and he would shout at me about poetry and the inadequacy of my (gamed) street combat tactics.
@expectproblems At university one of my best friends was Russian…
@expectproblems Yes, but do not mess with Russian cyber women, it never ends well.
I complained about cold weather yesterday and the CTO for one company just laughed in my face. She was Russian. I conceded her point.
@R_Chirgwin Their concern last time was the black ice rather than the snow itself. Anyway, we’ll see. No weather control machine here.
@R_Chirgwin Well I have flexibility about the train timing, kind of, but it’ll be a fun morning.
RT @expectproblems: Snow is great. Especially in a cocktail. [And especially in the dark at 0630, yes.]
@R_Chirgwin Yeah but if it snows before dawn then the taxis will be off the road and I’ll have to walk to the station. Joy.
I was intending to catch the 0706 train to Sydney tomorrow, which means leaving @bunjaree before sunrise, now possibly in the snow.
Tomorrow’s weather forecast for Katoomba now reads “a snow shower or two in the morning and afternoon”. Ping @R_Chirgwin
@Taco_Lad @RNBreakfast I though of that, then decided that only a pedantic arsehat would bother complaining. Seems I was right.
RT @R_Chirgwin: I’m bored to death with Google’s world cup doodles. [So use DuckDuckGoal!]
@iain_chalmers @marshontap @gattaca Thanks, Iain, we can work from a draft. I am laughing, at least.
@SnarkyPlatypus Merci. Tout finira parfaitement pour tout le monde.
“We can’t really speculate what happened there because we don’t know,” says the bloke on @RNBreakfast. If only media people realised that.
@R_Chirgwin Not yet. Due today or tomorrow, so I except it to fit in nicely with my Sydney trip tomorrow morning.
Wed plan, redraft: Clear email backlog; start writing for @zdnetaustralia; prepare for tomorrow’s snow; set up Lumia 930 review unit.
Wen plan, draft: Kill them. Kill them all.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Sang. Il doit y avoir un océan de sang. Du moins, c’est mon plan. Et vous?
RT @marshontap: Oh. “In Korea, we have limited natural resource, but fortunately a fertile cyber soil.” #KANZ #cybersoil [Yay ping @gattaca]
RT @SirLiberal: @stilgherrian you need a trim [It’s true, I do actually.]
Why are people saying “Brazil” at me? Is it Terry Gilliam’s birthday?
Wednesday. It is a world of misery and pain. Again. And forever. This is all there is. Wednesday.
Right, I’ve been up since 0500, so now that it’s approaching 0100 that’s probably enough for one day.
@marcfennell @ClaireRPorter @DownloadABC Yes, this is a stupid time to be working, even for people like us.
Hey @mscott, I’ll be in the ABC foyer at 1100 on Thursday, and it’s a flat white for me. @marcfennell @ClaireRPorter …?
Or is that meant to be SEKRIT? I don’t know, @marcfennell, it’s all too confusing.
According to an email, @marcfennell is putting me and @ClaireRPorter in the same room again for @DownloadABC this week. So there’s that.
@NewtonMark [Bows.]
@SnarkyPlatypus This happened last time too, the snow just got in the way of my plans.
@SnarkyPlatypus Thanks, but those little marsupials are uncooperative fuckers. Also I have to come into Sydney on Thursday.
If I were a real SMEG I could tweet, in correct order, all of the railway stations to Bali.
I just noticed that thanks to Twitter’s excellence* my railway station tweets arrived in the wrong order.
Cabbie just told me, and I’ve confirmed, snow is forecast for Thursday morning in the upper Blue Mountains.
Wentworth Falls. Apparent temperature 0C. The taxi is not here yet.
Lawson.
@kcarruthers With the phone or of the phone? I do plan to use its camera a lot.
And now it’s a six-minute run to Wentworth Falls, so time to don a couple extra layers of clothing.
Bullaburra.