@nazzer @__Marijana_ Thank you.
“Fujian blind date ends with public fist fightâ€, reports @shanghaiist http://t.co/HEDUSNIsNe
@cfsmtbation @RSprachrohr Thank you. I shall listen once the Internet of Trees starts behaving itself.
@jleyden @TheRegister A better headline would’ve been “Pommie punters particularly prone to piss-poor patching.†Remedial classes for you.
Oh wait. The SchnitzelBot is actually called @SchnitzelFollow, because the internet is a thousand kinds of stupid.
There’s @schnitzelbotot? Oh FFS.
That earlier tweet reporting a schnitzel-related dialog with a local was missing the word “notâ€.
@SnarkyPlatypus Il est très compliqué. La vie du village est subtile.
@MartinCuddihy @paulkidd @kopegi1 @Humpjay @DanielOCnr I usually sit where I can be seen from the street. But yes.
Engaging in the ritual exchange of personal abuse before leaving.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je fais affaire avec les complexités de la vie dans un village. avec de l’alcool. Et vous?
Getting grief from the publican because he recently saw me at another pub.
Receiving explanations of things that I never wished to understand.
Now I’ve been asked how long they have to wait before I get arrested under section 35P. No respect, these people.
Local, seeing my schnitzel: “What an awful meal.” Me: “Well it’s fucking well for you.” All laugh.
Oh. They gather early.
@cfsmtbation That’d be easier if I were familiar with the band’s oeuvre. But it’s a good suggestion.
I have decided to have a schnitzel and some wine, and then escape before the Oktoberfest Hallowe’en Karaoke Extravaganza starts.
Struggling to get my head around the concept of a combined Oktoberfest / Hallowe’en Karaoke night.
RT @dizzylimit: MT @_HelenDale: Here is a creationist textbook featuring a grave error on Noah’s part: http://t.co/qaT0kBKOC5 @Colvinius vi…
@__Marijana_ Thank you. It does only address one very narrow issue in relation to the data retention bill, however.
Wondering whether changing “criminal law-enforcement agency†to “criminal-law enforcement agency†might be a good amendment to the Bill.
“Piracy Cat�
Burn it down. Burn it all down.
@R_Chirgwin Meh.
Me at @zdnetaustralia today: “On metadata legislation and used-car salesmanship†http://t.co/YIEdlUgORP
@DangerLouse Dunno. Maybe it’s a Laurie Anderson song. Hard to tell.
Fuck. It’s Hallowe’en. Katoomba is perhaps the LAST place I want to go tonight. Reconsidering my options.
Lazy Tech Journo Tip #5: “Parents groups fear <x>†is a story, for all values of x.
Lazy Tech Journo Tip #4: “Android <comparative x> iOS†is a story, for all values of x.
Lazy Tech Journo Tip #3: “Now you can <human activity x> on your iPhone†is a story, for all values of x.
Lazy Tech Journo Tip #2: “Scientists have 3D printed an <x>†is a story, for all values of x.
Lazy Tech Journo Tip #1: “In the future, <human activity x> might be done via drone†is a story, for all values of x.
RT @BlogsofWar: A-10’s Delayed Retirement Threatens to Push Back F-35 Progragoo.gl/xpm0UAGJ [Thought: A-10 strike on F-35 factory.]
@jasonjordan That could indeed be part of the phenomenon. I wonder if similar things have been studied in the European work.
@rashasman @zdnetaustralia Soon.
barrysaunders Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about… your mother. i.imgur.com/tiC9ufb.jpg
ChrisWainhouse Kids in scary costumes may look frightening. But when you’ve killed as many as I have, you realise they’re no more dangerous than you or I.
vino_freakism If a vegan does crossfit….. which do they talk about first?
@thelaughingsub @R_Chirgwin Semicolons don’t generally trouble me. Just don’t ever ca@guardianstyletyle disease and type “Asio†and “Nasaâ€.
“‘Riskier’ streets reduce accidents†(2012) http://t.co/NjO9FGoQMc Part of my research today.
Feature story filed for @zdnetaustralia. That’s my writing done for the day. And for the week. I’m exhausted.
I think I’d better get back to this other piece of writing. I shall return when it’s done. Or when the asteroid strikes. One or the other.
Also, hyphens.
I can tell that @thelaughingsub has been at that story, because semicolons.
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “On metadata legislation and used-car salesmanship†http://t.co/YIEdlUgORP
OK, back to this writing-for-money lark. I shall return in due course.
MT @NewtonMark: Air Vice Marshall Mark Skidmore appointed as CASA’s new Director of Aviation Safety. [Nominative determinism?]
Documents from the Royal Commission on Intelligence and Security (1974-1977) at the National Archives. http://t.co/63I4AzMR1A
RT @tqbf: Hi, I’m your CPU fan, installed as a friendly reminder that you may still have Flash enabled somewhere.
TumblrTXT I consider myself gynephilic demisensual and asexual panromantic
Damn. I forgot to incude the description of telco legislation as having been “written by a troupe of gibbons high on nutmegâ€.
Forget Fitbit, gentlemen. Share your performance data that really counts. pic.twitter.com/mPLmHC85FE HT @Pogue via @Steve_Lockstep
Fri plan: Finish writing @zdnetaustralia column (done); finish @zdnetaustralia feature; shopping, probably in Katoomba; TGIF; whatever.
Column filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains used car salesmen and a Royal Commission.
SwiftOnSecurity Whoever designed this software enjoys drowning puppies.
NeinQuarterly Trust me, friends: There’s no need to dress up for Halloween. Your true monster is on the inside. And anyone who loves you will know it.
dr_nic Most confusing Melbourne moment so far: man yelling “psychopath! psychopath!” at me. Until I worked out I walking in the cycle path.
drchristiebudd Dressing as a witch for Halloween, because all female veterinarians are witches; deliver life, administer death, heal animals, control repro
aral Maybe we should think twice before handing over all decision making to algorithms.
Via @_youhadonejob #justsayin pic.twitter.com/fdnm4F6QL0
Eelectronic web address.
TheMediaTweets I wasn’t really going to make a night of it tonight but now I see the pub has put a cobweb and a rubber spider on the wall, I might.
Heading down into the Muskatnøttlovgivning rabbit hole once more.
Writing.
You’re all idiots. How can Tim Cook be gay? He likes U2.
Class issues, I see.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: I see no lies RT@Independent: There is a slight problem with this ‘Proud to be British’ hoodie http://t.co/0u3009mwrb h…
RT @crylenol: I love Halloween week pic.twitter.com/KnFT56PXXo [And the next day, you reflect upon where your career has brought you.]
I say, @davpope is rather good today. Peacefully floating in their metadata. pic.twitter.com/DjjKJwaKgO
Fri plan, second draft: Finish writing the two things for @zdnetaustralia; shopping, probably in Katoomba; TGIF, I reckon. Whatever.
“Telcos relieved at limited scope and cost of data retention lawâ€, says @smh. http://t.co/486iYNlkLQ Does the story supports the headline?
@MsLods I have now. Indeed, there’s nothing to stop the commercialisation of the retained data, is there? With Privacy Act box-ticking.
@MsLods @GordyPls And yet AFP’s Colvin is right, the metadata legislation would allow its use in combatting some copyright infringement.
“Brandis’s desperate and confused metadata laws are far from soldâ€, writes @GordyPls in a savage op-ed. http://t.co/v5xSqASHeS
SavedYouAClick None of mine :( RT @BuzzFeed: The 85 funniest tweets of all time
Journalism and analysis/op-ed compared. @jayrosen_nyu @paulcarr pic.twitter.com/pIlbxsW1kb
@theothersilvia @juhasaarinen So now we’re both in trouble.
@theothersilvia @juhasaarinen Also, “attractive when young and in flight, but grubby when you get to know themâ€, so perhaps you’re right.
@SnarkyPlatypus Oui, l’astéroïde nous tous plaît.
@theothersilvia @juhasaarinen It’s an ibis. They used to forage in swamps. Now they scavenge in cities. They are stupid and annoying.
@juhasaarinen @manicode There is. Although it took me a while to make the connection. This is ancient history in internet years.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis fatigué, mais il ya du travail à faire. Et vous?
RT @manicode: Just another day teaching secure coding classes…. pic.twitter.com/V5Is19XaiK [This is why the internet is like it is.]
Fri plan, initial draft: Finish writing the two things for @zdnetaustralia; remainder TBA, but either TGIF or collapse.
Friday. The sky lightens. Paint flakes off the celestial sphere. God is a cheapskate slumlord. Friday.
Gorn.
@realist Ah yes, I’d forgotten about that. We’re screwed.
@jonoabroad Yes it is. It’s perfectly good Norwegian.
@humphriesmark Somebody really should have told you it was on.
Here is tonight’s episode of @TheRoastTV. https://t.co/OhC5agtQO6
sexyma3 Peter Jackson just found a postcard JRR Tolkien wrote his nephew in 1938. He’s turning it into 22 nine-hour films.
@GarvilchMariana It will slow you a bit, but it works reliably. http://t.co/pw2mratCsd http://t.co/MigdOg9eno
“Clarke and Dawe - Selections for the Canberra Hack Handicap†https://t.co/YjXRFpJhFb
@elliott403 @semibogan And it works, too. http://t.co/MigdOg9eno
Just to be clear, Australia’s proposed data retention scheme would not apply to communications using RFC 1149. So use that, not a VPN.
AndrewBloch Thanks to today’s Daily Mail we now know what a cyber thief looks like so can stay a step ahead…
(via @lukemcgee) pic.twitter.com/EUa21Zd8GU
@p_np_ Its intent is presumably to pull in anything that can reasonably be called “a communicationâ€, including over-the-top services.
@p_np_ Not quite. It’s part of which services that a “relevant service provider†provides that come under the data retention regime.
@dananimal Either that or a blend of goat shit and turpentine.
“Blue Mountains’ Hydro Majestic hotel rediscovers its former glamour after a $35m restorationâ€, reports @abcnews http://t.co/RJSqlKIjyg
I think that’s about as much of the Muskatnøttlovgivning as I can cope with in one sitting.
RT @netw3rk: Because it’s fucking lava RT @BuzzFeedNews: Lava Is About To Engulf A Town In Hawaii, Why Can’t It Be Stopped? http://t.co/oVL…
heardatnature “I like a bit of hair on a beetle”
@shipw @sylmobile There were clauses after that which set out when an attempt becomes a communication for the purposes of the Act.
@chrisjrn I think you just failed physics.
ISPs have to submit their data retention plans to ACMA, which decides whether they correctly implement requirements. Better than ASIC, tho.
“an attempt to send a communication by means of a relevant service is taken to be the sending of a communication by means of the service…”
“(iv) another relevant service relating to a relevant service;”
“… carrying communications, or enabling communications to be carried, by means of guided or unguided electromagnetic energy or both …”
I shall now tweet a few choice phrases from our new Nutmeg Law, or Muskatnøttlovgivning. Prepare to be thrilled.
RT @chrisjrn: @stilgherrian @dobes why stop at nutmeg? [IT’S LIKE A VEIL HAS BEEN LIFTED…]
RT @michaelneale: @SnarkyPlatypus @stilgherrian takes a lot of nutmeg to get a buzz. [Yes. Fully one-third of the LD50. Here’s hoping.]
Wondering whether @dobes will let me refer to the Australian Parliament as “a troupe of gibbons high on nutmegâ€.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: @stilgherrian Gibbons high on nutmeg. [I REMEMBER THAT SITTING OF PARLIAMENT.]
I think I’d successfully suppressed memories of the last time I had to go down this rabbit hole. These laws were drafted by drugged gibbons.
Modest Proposal #45: Burn down the entire Telecommunications Act 1997 and related legislation and start again. Lawyers, are you with me?
RT @franksting: If you’re all Leyjonhelm fans today the fucktard in charge must’ve really dropped some weird acid. [I’VE JUST HAD AN IDEA.]
Sadly the legislation does not use the term “eelectronic web addressâ€. Disappoint.
@markc @joshgnosis Ah thank you, that was another angle I was going to trawl the legislation for.
jack_daniel Paraphrased call:
CC fraud guy: We’re sending you a new card because: breach
Me: Which breach?
Him: Like I can keep track of this chaos.
JackofKent “In Sweden, it is forbidden by law to be a criminal.” pic.twitter.com/w9bIZYiAeX
RT [REDACTED]: “An unmissable Q&A†yeah I will prove you wrong
RT @domknight: I’m now getting dissed by random UK backpacker hostels. *Sigh* https://t.co/nAPqrXKxKP [… about ethics in games journalism?]
@jturner_ibrs @johnthelutheran One of them, anyway.
SnarkyPlatypus SUPPRESS ALL THE THINGS
RT @lipporocks: Bandt: my question is to the Minister called the Minister for Environment @SkyNewsAust [Oh well played.]
RT @joshgnosis: Government MPs keep claiming the parliamentary committee recommended data retention. It didn’t. It said it was a decision f…
johnthelutheran “There’s so much wrong with the world today. For example: did you know people are having conversations tht don’t make money for businesses?”
johnthelutheran “Turn conversations into conversions” may be the most depressing sentence I’ve ever read. pic.twitter.com/YBLWrUkSpK
I should grab the audio of today’s presser just so I can listen to Brandis say “tranche†again before I go to bed.
@MsLods It’s not just the word, but I’ll tell you about that another time.
“Australia’s data retention bill - initial reactionâ€, being a helpful Storify [ugh!] compilation by @MsLods https://t.co/RzQmPL3Vik
RT @ladyhana: success! I have stuffed the entrails of the computer back in without anything left over :) [Like this? http://t.co/dWAK4Vda45]
RT @NewtonMark: How great is #dataretention going to be when #ICAC goes Federal? Hope none of you MPs have skeletons in your closets, hey?
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: The eventual re-education camps are going to be very crowded. [True, but plenty of our friends will be there.]
Wondering how many people the Australian government has working on social media monitoring tonight. Names are added to lists aplenty.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: To be fair, the ALP doesn’t even need 30 minutes because they’ll just wave them through (feel free to prove me wrong)
RT @oliyoung: @stilgherrian that’s it’s short is a little concerning tbh [Yes, much is left to regulations, which don’t exist yet.]
I love “obtained documents†that are a PDF of a set of crap pictures of sheets of paper pulled from a bin somewhere. http://t.co/WqYE5qaUXA
“Coalition MPs were given just 30 mins to discuss the proposed metadata legislation†before it went to parliament. http://t.co/GhwEZXyLmH
“Secret government briefing admits metadata law cost and warns of ‘internet tax’ campaignâ€, writes @jamesmassola http://t.co/GhwEZXyLmH
RT @kcarruthers: So do we think Shorty has worked out how this voting in parliament thing works yet?
The PDF of the bill is “only†51 pages, so this shouldn’t take a huge amount of time.
@joshgnosis @bengrubb I think my angle will be comparing the rhetoric of what the “intent†of the law is with what it actually says.
Explanatory memorandum for “Telecommunications (Interception and Access) Amendment (Data Retention) Bill 2014†http://t.co/rwyoLbZQdl
“Telecommunications (Interception and Access) Amendment (Data Retention) Bill 2014†http://t.co/BMagSe2BbL
I nearly typed it as “sobpoena†th@joshgnosisosis, which would be a good name for them when issued en masse by a rights-holder.
RT @joshgnosis: Except when a rights holder knows there is a log of every IP address for the past two years… [True, using a subpoena.]
“Mandatory data retention to be used to fight piracyâ€, writes @joshgnosis http://t.co/FRjxtAa0yx [AFP said that. Brandis later said no.]
“Mandatory data retention legislation hits the Australian parliamentâ€, writes @joshgnosis http://t.co/zT4vVZRzxN
OK, here we go. The metadata legislation. I’ll tweet links to the documents and news reports as I encounter them, plus a few observations.
I see that there’s already been some Brandisplaining to make things better*.
RT @MsLods: @stilgherrian this might assist: my collection of resources and reactions to today’s data retention news: http://t.co/LEnqFXLBeE
I have succumbed to certain temptations, namely ginger beer and then chicken to help me survive reading this goddam legislation tonight.
SwiftOnSecurity How bad is the Australian Prime Minister?
I’m an American and I know his name.
That’s how bad.
@SwiftOnSecurity Yeah look much as I love your work, there’s no need to reminds us of that particular Australian arsehattery.
SwiftOnSecurity What the hell YouTube? Do I look like an Australian to you? pic.twitter.com/jfhNwqBAXr
@0x1C @semibogan I can resist your temptations. Well, that one for today, anyway. I WILL READ THE LEGISLATION SOBER.
Returning to writing. I’m on a security-related feature right now. I’m analysing the metadata legislation overnight. Wish me luck. Later.
zooko Novice engineers have not yet grokked this: the number of modes or options in your system is the *exponent* in how hard it is to maintain.
@jonoabroad Complete bullshit, Sir.
lukehopewell Ugh.
RT @SBSNews: New hope of finding Amelia Earhart plane bit.ly/1xEAqPU pic.twitter.com/bWpacMzsHQ [They’re keeping metadata HOW long now?]
Turnbull introduces data retention legislation. “Excellent,†says Brandis, folding the hood on his cloak. “You are one of us now.”
ellinghausen The Communications Minister listens as the Attorney-General answers questions on data retention pic.twitter.com/5T1oCramKu
Kaweechelchen Protester helps police install VLC player pic.twitter.com/rQnl7E5GJo
Wabbit Season.
@franksting No, but analysing legislation is a commissioned, scheduled story with a payment attached. FireEye’s thingy has come too late.
@TatteredRemnant @franksting @paulwallbank Bah. I said it just then. And it’s the truth.
@franksting @paulwallbank In any event, I don’t have time to travel two hours to a thingy when there’s legislation to be analysed.
@franksting @paulwallbank What FireEye thingy? I know nothing of this thingy.
The writing proceeds adequately. I shall break for lunch, and smile upon the world.
I am writing now. I won’t be paying much attention to your foolishness.
Thu plan: Write for @zdnetaustralia, two things to be finished tomorrow; head to a nearby town or village to forage for food.
@dobes I know. #kittenmunted
RT @franksting: It’s about ethics in mandatory detention…sorry retention
stokely A piece in the Guardian urges people to give up on email & switch to the phone if they want privacy. Also, short skirts are asking for it.
I seriously picked the wrong week to give up peyote.
RT @dobes: @stilgherrian you kitten huffing again? [Yes.]
BRING ME ANOTHER KITTEN.
So Brandis is on that Question and Answer program Monday? Explaining data retention, I assume? I see.
RT @joshgnosis: There we go, Turnbull to introduce mandatory data retention today. http://t.co/ZPZeYIyu8R [See, fact checking. Journalism.]
RT @riskybusiness: Looking forward to seeing this watertight statutory definition of metadata later today. [Ditto. I could use a laugh.]
Note that the tabling of the Senate report investigating telecommunications interception has been pushed back to 3 December.
People tweet that @TurnbullMalcolm will introduce Telecommunications (Interception and Access) (Data Retention) Bill 2014 this morning.
Well exactly. pic.twitter.com/mCLJTbGAY1
RT @chrisberg: australia’s self-wedging opposition
KazStocks Very clever! RT”@raju: This pic.twitter.com/LolpO4j647 h/t @GINER”
Wait. I’ve got it. RUSSELL BRAND AS LEADER OF THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY. You know it makes sense.
“You know those laws that we voted in after three readings in two houses of parliament and a committee review process? Well I’ve just…”
What an arsehat.
“Opposition leader writes to Tony Abbott asking the government to review laws, which were passed with Labor support.†http://t.co/LzkQ42xYMK
“Bill Shorten has second thoughts on terrorism laws that could mean jail for journalistsâ€, writes @lenoretaylor http://t.co/LzkQ42xYMK
RT @chrisberg: bill are you sure being a legislator is the right career choice