Sat plan, draft: Suppress the nausea; produce an episode of “The 9pm Edict” podcast; collapse; cry.p
Saturday. Everything that you thought was just a dream was in fact real, and vice versa. And all of it was a lie. Saturday.
Fuck it.
Breaking all the rules.
Like you care about Queensland, you frauds.
Oh FFS.
Cloud. instagram.com/p/yeBhlbCFum/
Money. pic.twitter.com/MVOoIa9j6p
@jpwarren @CreetureNZ Sure. But we have to deal with the world as it is, not as we might wish it to be. And some people have advantages.
@jpwarren @CreetureNZ Like this doesn’t already happen.
@CreetureNZ @jpwarren Sure. I agree it’d be bad, from my POV. But in a democracy we all get to lobby for what we want to happen.
I think I might see if I can meet with my federal MP next week, before parliament goes back in session.
@CreetureNZ @jpwarren Really? That’s cute. But I think the head of any agency should be lobbying government to make their job easier.
@OaaSvc @jonoabroad There’s no need to point out how gloriously stupid this is.
@jpwarren I will recording an episode of “The 9pm Edict” tomorrow. Somehow.
What does that say about the self-respect of the individuals involved? Maybe ask your local Coalition MP how they feel about that.
What’s funny* is that the individuals who constitute the ruling political party seem happy to have chose this muppet as Attorney-General.
Nice bookshelf, though, Soapy. Well done.
Mind you, the alleged Attorney-General is too dumb to even explain the fundamentals of what he’s trying to introduce.
That is to say, we have an Attorney-General who’s already decided that the views of the citizens are irrelevant. What a cunt.
Except for one point. Politicians, especially our alleged Attorney-General, have decided in advance that only “national security” counts.
And I have no problem with that. That’s how a democracy works. We all put forward our views, and the politicians balance it out.
Yes, @jpwarren. The AFP officer said it’s his job to lobby for what they think they need, and it’s our job in a democracy to lobby our view.
RT @jpwarren You did a podcast once about how this was their job. Our job is to resist them, and we suck at it.
Seriously, I get that being a police officer ain’t an easy job. Respect. I couldn’t do it. But it’s MEANT to be hard. Because you have guns.
When will the police forces of this nation understand that structuring society to make their job easier is not the only rights issue?
Where am I? Gawd, it’s all terribly obvious.
“NSW Police Force seeks 7-year data-retention scheme”, writes @joshgnosis zdnet.com/article/nsw-po…
Waiting for one of these to have its keg restored. Because I’m patient. pic.twitter.com/uI5bdLZYbT
Nick Cave. That is all.
Where to begin…
jturner_ibrs @stilgherrian whatever you’re on, it’s time to share
Now playing: Rome’s “The Ballad of the Red Flame Lily” youtube.com/watch?v=RdVs6B…
Imagining the face of Australia’s lovely Prime Minister in front of me right now, and disintegrating into a puddle of love.
@jonoabroad @OaaSvc “Sensible explanation”? Not my department.
RT @weigh4d @stilgherrian there’s always IIS [Yes. Yes there is.]
Perhaps we should ask Philip Ruddock what the flaw in glibc means for Skype.
g lib c. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Like, der.
Some people think I’m joking. Fools.
So just how long are we going to pretend that the entire foundations of the internet aren’t completely, utterly fucked? Seriously. How long?
Has anyone given Brian Kernighan a quick call today? Or checked gin futures?
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
No, there is no need to recompile your kernels.
Here we go. youtube.com/watch?v=yuTMWg…
We should just be thankful that glibc isn’t used anywhere important.
Oh, and in case you didn’t think I’d noticed. glibc? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh FFS.
“The Microscopic Structures of Dried Human Tears” smithsonianmag.com/science-nature… pic.twitter.com/ZWY3GYt2U4
“Newsweek’s cover is being called sexist, but we can’t help thinking that’s exactly the point,” says @crikey_news pic.twitter.com/NhuZeZbF9g
@StatNerdery @nphair Hmmm… It all comes to the numbers, right? Nice internet you have there, shame if something should happen to it.
RT @davethebinman @stilgherrian @glengyron how about brownie [Oh grow up.]
Oh thank you, @deptofaustralia! pic.twitter.com/kHioSaWOpD
The staff at this establishment are not helping.
Still, “Optus” and “brown tongue” are pretty much synonyms. Like a Singaporean company would consider, like, human rights.
“Optus says data retention is ‘workable’”, writes @joshgnosis zdnet.com/article/optus-… Well done, Optus. “Workability” wasn’t the issue.
Look, however this turns out, if Tony Abbott is still PM on Monday I am going to laugh andlaugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Have I ever spoken about the chat I had with Wyatt Roy’s parents aboard the SS Jeremiah O’Brien in San Francisco? ssjeremiahobrien.org
RT @bradsprigg @stilgherrian Deputy Prime Minister Wyatt Roy [Yep, I’m for that. He seems quite level headed.]
RT @Retrovertigo @stilgherrian Minister for Women George Christensen [Well obviously.]
Sorry. I need to be accurate. Prime Minister Philip “Skype” Ruddock.
Look, I’m just putting it out there, but… Prime Minister Philip Ruddock.
@dobes He is a river to his people.
Jesus wept.
Meanwhile, if I read @BernardKeane correctly, he’s going for @JulieBishopMP as PM and @TurnbullMalcolm as Treasurer.
I assume that the Liberal Party has Philip Ruddock for the same reason that ships have anchors.
Which raises the question, why is Philip Ruddock even there? What purpose does he serve? For himself? For his party? For Australia?
RT [REDACTED]: his pension kicked in about 72 years ago… [Oh. Yeah, there is that.]
It goes to character, Philip Ruddock, it goes to character.
I wonder whether Philip Ruddock is interested in being anything other than a seat-warmer until his parliamentary pension kicks in?
Hahahahahahahahaha Queensland.
Still, you go on a pay out Comic Sans and everyone will think you’re so, so clever. [Sips from a jam jar.]
Oh that’s right. You call it a “font”. Because you’re completely and utterly ignorant of the history of typography.
Go on, kiddies, why don’t you start a fucking meme? Use the right typeface and the politicians will quake.
@nolobe_matt Lovely work. She’s part of a gutsy generation that wouldn’t put up with today’s bullshit politicians.
@jplonie Meh. I’m beyond caring.
MT @akent Remember when Hockey apparently didn’t understand the difference between marginal and average tax rates… [Yeah. Hockey. HAHAHA.]
Laughing.
And if you wish to infer that I’m calling for the crucifiction of federal MPs, yeah fuck it why not? Do it. (The AFP knows where I am.)
We’ve had internet longer than we’ve had GST. Any politician who couldn’t explain GST would rightly be crucified. So why let this happen?
In a more civilised aged, these people would be [REDACTED UNDER LEGAL ADVICE IN CONSIDERATION OF THE CRIMES ACT.]
These are people whose JOB it is to understand the world and legislate for its future. And they can’t even be arsed to bother with basics.
So consider this. People who don’t even know what Skype IS, let alone how it WORKS, are deciding on our digital surveillance future. Bonus.
Yes, fellow Australians, politicians deciding how much we’ll be surveilled approach Skype, used by grandparents everywhere, as a mystery.
Ruddock MP in Thursday’s Joint Parliamentary Committee on intelligence and Security: “Skype. That’s a telephone that you use on a computer?”
@scottcarson1957 That’s a bit unfair on the young lady, Sir. Whatever happened to gallantry?
Scams in AU cost $64M Jan-Oct, $5.20 per internet users. A profile by @nphair canberra.edu.au/cis/storage/Sc… (PDF)
Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott investigates the national broadband policy. pic.twitter.com/GCzu3Biovf
In further news, the Australian government updates its definition of “aircraft” to include anything not actually hauled by an ox.
Lies, damned lies, and the Australian government’s broadband statistics.
RT @reselsnark ouch - as of June 2014 ABS reporting anything over 256kbps as broadband :/ abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.… [Up from 128 kbps.]
@reselsnark There’s a definition used by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS). I haven’t checked to see if it’s been updated recently.
“15 Megabits Is Not Enough”, writes @simonhackett , deconstructing how a certain bullshit meme came to be. simonhackett.com/2015/01/14/is-…
FCC Commissioner Mignon Clybur: “The broadband speeds of yesteryear are woefully inadequate today and beyond.” theverge.com/2015/1/29/7932…
US FCC changes its definition of broadband to a MINIMUM download 25Mbps, upload 3Mbps. theverge.com/2015/1/29/7932…
Akamai’s Q4 “State of the Internet” report is out. DDoD attack numbers nearly double YoY, duration up 31%. stateoftheinternet.com/resources-web-…
@logichappens You’re more than welcome to run that theory past my creditors.
Fri plan: Train to Katoomba; lunch; plan next week, after a terribly unproductive January; @5at5daily; return for a quiet evening, I guess.
A brilliant collection of semi-abstract aerial photos from @big_picture bostonglobe.com/news/bigpictur… Ping @ApostrophePong
deptofaustralia Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? youtube.com/watch?v=JnX-D4…
Fri plan, draft, unordered: Plan next week, after an unproductive week this week; lunch and shopping, Katoomba; quiet evening, inevitably.
@SnarkyPlatypus “Escape” is too strong a term, but things were less bad.
Friday. Fresh asparagus. You know it’s the only way. Fresh asparagus. Friday.
Collapsing.
@riskybusiness Hence the final line of the article. ;)
@riskybusiness Again, I am in furious agreement with everything you’re saying this morning. You’re in a very thinky mood!
“The Internet of Gas Station Tank Gauges” by @hdmoore community.rapid7.com/community/info… Read it and cry. HT @riskybusiness
@riskybusiness Stop it, or I’ll want to cry. :)
@riskybusiness Oh we can go even further down the food chain. Anti-abortion activists, who already get violent. Heck, the Young Liberals!
@riskybusiness Thank you. And yes, I think I agree with you on that. Organised crime won’t bother, but bored kids will screw your elevators.
This thing in the sky, what is it? instagram.com/p/yaniFgCFsn/
Me at @zdnetaustralia, 11 Dec: “All aboard the internet of things infosec hype train” zdnet.com/article/all-ab…
Story filed for @zdnetaustralia, finally. Stress levels subsiding, a little. Meanwhile, I’ll re-plug a precursor story.
I shan’t be paying you lot any attention until I’ve got all that done.
Thu plan, draft: Struggle through the greyness to complete writing for @zdnetaustralia; collapse again, and cry.
Thursday. You think that things are finally changing, but they are not. The misery will continue forever. Thursday.
I’ll have to try resting now, and then hope I’ll be OK for an ultra-early start tomorrow. Sigh.
Ah here we go again. The shivering earlier is followed by the full-scale Bristol Seven experience. No, that’s not a band.
alexeckermann .@Telstra “Customer Detractor”? I thought we were cool. But apparently you think differently of me..pic.twitter.com/K93VHHSIMKMK
@NewtonMark @leopinion It’s a demarcation thing. They’re “mystified” because only the police are allowed to be “baffled”.
@NewtonMark @leopinion I ended up having to put an instruction in the fourth or fifth par of the advert telling them to include a keyword.
@NewtonMark @leopinion Even 7 or 8 years ago, I advertised for a network support person, 100+ applicants, vast majority totally irrelevant.
@leopinion How delightfully poetic. Maybe I should used that quote when linking to your piece. I try to link to recent related news.
@leopinion I am amused, because I am filing a piece in the morning which talks about skills shortages in infosec, amongst other things.
“Australian IT sector sees skills glut”, writes @leopinion zdnet.com/article/no-ski… [Though averages can hide key niche problems.]
fanfiction_txt i hate you i’m ten you ruined my childhood bitch fuck yourself go to hell
@jon_lawrence I think I’m busy that night, stabbing rusty forks into my eyes.
MarkDiStef It’s on #Tay4CoS
What if Hitler were made of cheese?
Are you a horse? ARE YOU A HORSE?
If only Greece had converted to Bitcoin.
firstdogonmoon I will now explain why knighting Prince Philip was a good idea! RT @GIFs: ministryofgifs.org/post/109343489…
i.imgur.com/Im3j4ys.gif
jrojourno 3 days counting, Rebel’s bikie Angelo’s donations still good with the LNP #qldvotes pic.twitter.com/iX2qJWgViw
@SnarkyPlatypus I am waiting for backups and a software upgrade to finish, so I am amusing myself during this break.
BrigadierSlog Street cricket, Australia Day. Cops turn up, guess what happens next? #Straya. How good are our Police forces!!! pic.twitter.com/05actftJnF
TheNTNews 4. @jrhennessy
TheNTNews OUR SHIT LIST:
1. @GuardianAus
2. @triplej
3. @canberratimes
SwiftOnSecurity lol I bet the people who say Linux is free think the moon just pays for itself.
SnarkyPlatypus 😮😆😆😒😮😊😒😮😯mMcNicholash @adambrereton kutuk il😒😊😥😒
SnarkyPlatypus Lo pojok il ll Lop lap kiqyjlpiqquiuqyqyhjhjglhhlp
“QWERTY keylogger linked to Regin malware”, writes @juhasaarinen itnews.com.au/News/399744,qw…
“Turnbull ticks Telstra-NBN HFC migration plan”, writes @joshgnosis zdnet.com/article/turnbu…
Oh that’s right. NSW election on 28 March. So on 30 March, ICAC will have a whole new batch of names to add to their list.
thewetmale Australian political watchers have become “It’s on” sluts and it’s so fucking good.
therevmountain @sophbenj tongues all the way down
sophbenj Ewwwwww. Also the tongue has a ball-gag… does that mean the tongue has a tongue? (via @therevmountain) pic.twitter.com/APAUG5xa3z
@myrcurial I approve.
For those of you unfamiliar with the cat drone..businessinsider.com.au/badger-submari…2pic.twitter.com/kUTgYlS9zVzV
“The Dutch Artist Who Turned His Dead Cat Into A Drone Is Keeping A Badger In His Freezer To Build A Submarine” businessinsider.com.au/badger-submari…
fieldproducer I think that is possibly the simplest wind-up ever, never fails.
fieldproducer Thanks to an iPhone email signature change I’ve had an Apple Watch for months, also had rapid email response times. pic.twitter.com/p9V8RFomhQ
Apple Watch. April. Confirmed. Now off you go and squeal with delight, you pathetic muppets. zdnet.com/article/apple-…
@checkpointanz Thank. Me too. But deadlines are deadlines, and I have one today. Do try to have fun without me.
@joshgnosis Smirks.
Doesn’t Malcolm have dogs?
Maybe this 1000 AEDT presser is about dogs. Who can say?
@RealNickHodge Not that different. en.wiktionary.org/wiki/screw_the…
I’m not sure how Abbott fucking a dog is going to help.
@SnarkyPlatypus @jeamland Hence my comment about drugs.
So ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com was a bullshit stunt, and most news stories swallowed it whole. observer.com/2015/01/exclus… Yay, journalism.
@jeamland Yes, she does. Miranda reckons many things.
God I feel terrible. I wonder what will make be feel less terrible.
I think I want some of the drugs Miranda is on. Unpredictably weird, of course, but oh so powerful.
Wed plan, draft: Writing. Just writing as determinedly as I can, and hope that it’s sufficient. This dreary grey day won’t help.
Wednesday. Everything is privet, dancing naked in your shoes. Wednesday.
@SnarkyPlatypus Thanks.
Sneezing. Going to bed.
CasparBowden serious surveillance theorists begin their day with 2hrs 16m of Adam Curtis’ #BitterLake youtube.com/watch?v=74-fP3…
jethrocarr IF YOU DON’T RUN YOUR OWN NATION, YOU’RE NOT FREE AS IN FREEDOM ENOUGH pic.twitter.com/yzSt7bR0ut
jturner_ibrs “@doctorow: What is exposed about you and your friends when you login with Facebook [2014] pic.twitter.com/5yihFGwRaU”
Note WITH not TO #socmed
jleyden Lizard Squad are to LulzSec as The Rutles were to The Beatles. #FacebookDown
The Disgruntled Ducks of New York, and other snow-related photos, via @qz qz.com/333906/333906/ pic.twitter.com/7031Y2f68j
macleanbrendan you know what can be annoying? sounds, smells, people, animals, bananas, a hat, weird cups, words, colours, old people, young people, moons.
@NewtonMark @R_Chirgwin @glengyron @SydneyTom_ It’s so hard to know who to believe.
Providing Crusader Rabbit with a media advisor is like giving elocution lessons to a walrus.
drearyclocks Hear me out guys. What if… feminism caused the Facebook outage? #makuthink
@glengyron @SydneyTom_ Oh that. Yes.
@SydneyTom_ Well, you can always return to it. There’s a massive skills shortage that’s only going to get worse.
@SydneyTom_ Most detailed data is held pretty closely, but Akamai does a fine State of the Internet each quarter, a summaries of big events.
Sigh. And I was having such a lovely time ignoring everything.
@SydneyTom_ Actually, I can say that I’d give more credence to data from Akamai on this one. Word is it was their infrastructure being hit.
@SydneyTom_ I’d have to think to give a meaningful reply, and I honestly don’t care enough to think about.
@will_ock I think it gets published on Friday, to be up for 1 February and associated advertising. But of course I know no details of that.
@will_ock I’m already busy writing something else tomorrow, and I don’t expect to be reallocated. We’ll see.
@SydneyTom_ Well it’s a legitimate visualisation of data from a company with telemetry. What it “means” requires analysis. Can’t be arsed.
None of this is particularly funny.
Perhaps things would be better if we actually did choose our Prime Ministers by how far they could shove their head up a pig.
“The PM’s head is in some very strange place,” writes @michellegrattan theconversation.com/the-central-qu… So, like this? pic.twitter.com/GCzu3Biovf
It has been raining continuously all day so far. I suspect it won’t let up until tonight.
businessinsider New Yorkers are flocking to Craigslist to find ‘Blizzard Boyfriends’ and girlfriends read.bi/18jPiNd
SquigglyRick GC mum sentenced to six months’ jail for spinning a stranger’s kid on a playground ride too fast. goldcoastbulletin.com.au/news/crime-cou…
RT @purserj: @Drag0nista @bluntshovels we need to put young libs and socialist alliance in a small room [then fill it with molten lead]
And that’s all been a perfect prelude to my 1130 AEDT interview about identity verification technologies. Deep breath.
RT @jeamland: @chrisjrn @stilgherrian And of course brings to mind this: youtube.com/watch?v=-XNFok… [Yes. Yes it does.]
RT @chrisjrn: That series title is terrifying in so many ways [What? “Presidential Fuck Machine Book 3”? Terrifying? Nah. GLORIOUS.]
I’m still thinking about this. “Fuck Lord of the Moon” is a title we can all aspire to. pic.twitter.com/lmabxT73d0 HT @sarahchurchwell
RT @dobes: Here comes PM Warren Truss! [Yay! Finally, a PM we can truss!]
@rycrozier I feel like I’ve just lost a year off my life and become susceptible to both cancer and alien invasion.
Wow. Microsoft has seriously fucked up Skype’s workflow for renewing a SkypeIn number. Utterly confusing.