Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

February 2015

RT @newsbanks: The internet is too snarky. [Have you tried turning it off and back on again?]

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behindyourback I like my coffee like I like my men, slowly growing cold as I forget that it exists.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:18 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@vealmince “Trend spotters”, as a class, seem to remarkably ignorant of… well, of the whole world.

via TweetDeck in reply to vealmince

Temple plans separate toilets for Thais and other non-Chinese tourists, citing Chinese lack of bathroom etiquette. bangkokpost.com/business/touri…

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@vealmince Indeed. So are we seeing what’s really just a low-greade moral panic? The new thing must be “excessive”?

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@NewtonMark @alexkidman I produced an interview once with women who run a crime-scene clean-up services. They had all manner of handy tips.

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@NewtonMark What about people tied to stakes on the ground? Asking for a friend.

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maxfuckery .@RichardDawkins @stilgherrian @DonaldTrump1946 @rickygervais @JoeBiden @JamesBlunt @jimmyfallon @Madonna yeah geez have some respect guys

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:58 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@alexkidman I believe I have already called for Philomena Cunk to be Prime Minister.

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RichardDawkins PLEASE, when you have a long Twitter conversation with someone, consider NOT tagging third parties who play no part in the conversation.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:54 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@alexkidman Do they even know what words mean?

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@kcarruthers Yes, but apart from people like you who do things specifically to annoy me.

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@alexkidman I suspect that if we investigated we’d discover that “binge watching” was a disparaging term invented by network TV people.

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@alexkidman I don’t, because it’s judgemental. A binge is about uncontrollable excess, whereas choosing to watch a story may not be.

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Arsehats using the term “binge watching”, do you call someone reading a book other than in one-hour blocks a week apart a “binge reader”?

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“The future of media is podcasting”, a good overview of the rise of podcasts, despite the daft headline. fastcompany.com/3041522/pod-po…

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@nontgor @smartbrain I just downloaded it to watch later with the tools I already have.

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@timpoliti Not, “worried” as such. Actually more that you were reacting to the headline and not the article. It happens, apparently.

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drearyclocks His butt is very damp and we are all glad he wore dark jeans.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:29 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@timpoliti True. That’s why I sometimes shorten the URLs. Telling people “The next thing is a joke” seems wrong.

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@timpoliti Out of curiosity, did you read the article?

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NotThatBobJames Chonburi police boss says only 1% of CCTV cameras work. City refutes claim, saying 86% work, but wires linking them may be broken.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 8:21 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

RT @ClintonDucas: @stilgherrian Every journalist and news editor should listen to @onthemedia every week. @jeffjarvis [This is also true.]

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Every journalist and news editor should listen to this @onthemedia interview with @jeffjarvis, and agree or not. onthemedia.org/story/geeks-be…

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Why you MUST use a standing desk: “According to an important WebMD article that my friend Tony described to me…newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh…5q

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@johnb78 Everything is driven by love.

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Hmmm. That’s not playing at the right aspect ratio. Seriously, people, if you’re recording stuff off TV for YouTube, learn to do it right.

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“Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe | Season 3 Episode 5” youtube.com/watch?v=39G6yx…

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kevinseccia So we’re agreed, the Internet was a huge mistake?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:34 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@kcarruthers Does Bristol Seven declining to Bristol Six count as “OK”? Asking for a friend.

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Oh, I’d missed this @davpope cartoon from the other day. I am enjoying it now. goo.gl/oc0BNQ pic.twitter.com/a4ubr5pgKu

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There. I have retweeted @johnb78, and after a brief pause I think it will be OK for us to continue with our lives.

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johnb78 >play phil collins
Permission denied
>sussudeo play phil collins

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:59 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

OK, everyone, I am about to retweet @johnb78, and it is really really bad and we should all be ashamed. Nevertheless, here it is.

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ItsBouquet Sheridan says Australians find Abbott “a riddle wrapped inside an enigma”

More likely they find him - “a liar wrapped in a flag”

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:56 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@Rob_Stott Turtlesex. You’re thinking about turtlesex, aren’t you. Or at least lots of turtlesnogging.

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“It’s very possible that there could be an Australian princess… maybe,” says Posh White Boy. Ah, Australian monarchists, wot special petals!

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RT @oberonsghost: @kcarruthers Why cant AGNSW build Sydney Modern in Parramatta? [Because they’re unimaginative special-petal arsehats.]

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RT @JaidenEverett: @stilgherrian Maybe it’s related to this? @BrigadierSlog @safzoro pic.twitter.com/9UwfDUTlkO [Maybe. Good thinking.]

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RT @BrigadierSlog: What even? pic.twitter.com/AFi8CWBtqo [Cheap, fast and easy!]

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Bracing myself for the onslaught of @LeeLinChinSBS.

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kcarruthers What if I don’t wanna? RT @briandavidearp: Seems a little coercive pic.twitter.com/r90kYBfTsx

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 6:23 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@bengrubb Yep, DFAT is in charge of passports. It should be easy to find out who won the tender to make them, and head upstream from there.

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@trentyarwood That said, we know Gemalto does passports, and has 30% of the smart chip market globally. It’s likely, I’d say.

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@trentyarwood We didn’t know that on Thursday, as far as I know, and I’ve been focusing on other things since then. @bengrubb may know.

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@StanDevia No, the timing is wrong for that. If it was something I ate, it’d have to be something further down the pipeline. So to speak.

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“Government Admits ‘The Only Thing We Know About Metadata Is It Stops All Crimes’” sbs.com.au/comedy/article…

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The case of Max-Hervé George illustrates why you always read the paperwork. He could’ve given up millions for £10. ftalphaville.ft.com/2015/02/27/212…

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“Cardinal George Pell, the Vatican’s financial watchdog, slammed for lavish spending” smh.com.au/world/cardinal…

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“Plan of portion of Port Jackson to illustrate Report on the Defences”, 3 Jan 1863. nla.gov.au/nla.map-rm1401… pic.twitter.com/WVQp0t4e0M

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RT @yewenyi: We could reactivate all those 19th century coastal defences built to keep the Russians put. [Good thinking!]

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“Sir John Sawers, ex-MI6 chief, warns of Russia ‘danger’” bbc.com/news/uk-316691… Glad you noticed, sir.

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@juhasaarinen There’s a number of things I could say, but hey if people who like that sort of thing enjoyed it then that’s OK.

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Well, sleeping for three and a half hours has helped a bit. I feel slightly less dreadful and we’re down to Bristol Six. Dunno what this is.

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My recommendation to @billshortenmp is to take whoever thought up that lame meme down to the nearest river and drown them.

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Oh. Bristol Seven.

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MT @Cheezburger: This evil Chihuahua goes to great lengths to guard its precious hot dog. pic.twitter.com/wCvhTB0TVP [O hai, Christopher.]

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@caseyjohnellis Seems we’re good for something after all, @semibogan. Happy Saturday.

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@semibogan Yeah, I see your problem. The first four words in that tweet. Ponder them, and you too will see your error.

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If you’re short of reading material, Friday’s @5at5daily might help. tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5…

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@djmer1 It would seem that you have missed my excellent* pun. I am saddened and ashamed. :(

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@djmer1 But does anyone else give a fig?

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RT @JoelStanton: They look like they’re about to have an awkward first date kiss. [You might think that. I couldn’t possibly comment.]

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MT @audreyNZH Abbott and Key in the official box just before first over. pic.twitter.com/hdu4vh7lbb [Pod people. Definitely pod people.]

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SsRP5 .@jdekz @NotAllBhas @time_indefinite *fedora intensifies* pic.twitter.com/ahyVjISaRr

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:25 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

DMReporter READERSHIP: And the comment of the day is..spic.twitter.com/PDGv7NKQ2E2E

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 12:16 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Look, @Lilylauren @egadheg, I don’t see why @LockheedMartin should bother with accuracy. It’s not as if they do anything needing precision.

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I might make “Senator Brandis did not appear to have a clear understanding of” into a keyboard macro. Doubtless will be used again.

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“Prof Burdekin said Senator Brandis did not appear to have a clear understanding of what his role of attorney-general entailed.”

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“Brian Burdekin slams ‘disgraceful’ attacks by Tony Abbott and George Brandis on Human Rights Commissioner” abc.net.au/news/2015-02-2…

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Ah, @egadheg @jessradio, this is the same @LockheedMartin that confused @australian with the Australian government. twitter.com/LockheedMartin…

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egadheg Nice harbour, Avalon “@LockheedMartin: Who we are, what we do, and where it’s happening in Australia: pic.twitter.com/6KqvHgfXCb

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:03 PM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

In which David Marr discusses Crusader Rabbit’s trashing of the law for thuggish momentary advantage. thesaturdaypaper.com.au/opinion/topic/…

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Yes, I do know that there’s a fundamental problem with that scenario.

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Last night I dreamt that I was in a cafe with Graham Richardson running Tony Abbott’s numbers and laughing.

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@macro2779 Breakfast is not a difficult concept, I’d have thought.

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The sauce and noodles are added, and it’s nearly ready to serve. pic.twitter.com/9IcU40hRF8

via Plume for Android

Sat plan: Deal with the backlog of comms, administrivia and scheduling; write words for @zdnetaustralia; not be eaten by leeches.

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cooneymj The Age of Reason is over. “@JoshBBornstein: Getting pretty weird now pic.twitter.com/9Iy5opTcc4

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:39 AM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

“NSW election complicates Liberal moves for Tony Abbott leadership spill”, writes @LaurieOakes couriermail.com.au/news/opinion/n…

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pacohope Stopped at the roadside for a update. Sigh. pic.twitter.com/wYWXkcnA91

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:23 AM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@Telstra “Never”, eh? Guaranteeing that email is error-free? That’s a bold claim, and one that I’d never make.

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@myrcurial The bird life here at @bunjaree is spectacular. More than 50 species have been recorded (not by me). Should compile my best pics.

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Being visited by the local Eastern Yellow Robin clan. Here’s one I prepared earlier. flickr.com/photos/stilghe… pic.twitter.com/vLwDtF8Quu

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@NicholasFryer In all likelihood, yes. I need to wrap the competition etc at the very least. I have at least one other to drop in.

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“It’s time someone put the Prime Minister out of his misery”, writes @JohnBirmingham smh.com.au/comment/its-ti…

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I would like @davpope to design my next computer. Or maybe not. pic.twitter.com/4JPW4fcUPy

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KKeneally Liberal flyer says “recent changes in boundaries now places you in Maroubra”. That happened in 2007. Keep up, guys. pic.twitter.com/6amn2KdlSA

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:40 AM, Feb 28th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

RT @Steve_Lockstep ‘I’m among the first Swedes with a microchip’ thelocal.se/20141118/swede… via @TheLocalSweden [Lemmings are from Norway, tho?]

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Sat plan, draft: Deal with the backlog of comms and administrivia; eat kangaroo; write words for @zdnetaustralia; not be eaten by leeches.

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Me at @zdnetaustralia: “The second-class internet? You’re soaking in it” zdnet.com/article/the-se… Thanks, Madge. youtube.com/watch?v=5wSO0-…

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RT @paulkidd: @stilgherrian alright then, 9. [Yeah, OK then… [Walks away, shaking head slowly.]]

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RT @paulkidd: @stilgherrian 7. [See, you’ve already failed, haven’t you.]

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Saturday. Please choose a number. Do not tell anyone what it is. You must remember it, however. Await further instructions. Saturday.

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“George Brandis still struggling with metadata”, writes @jon_lawrence smh.com.au/digital-life/c…

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“Blade Runner’ Sequel: Harrison Ford Confirmed; Denis Villeneuve In Talks To Direct” deadline.com/2015/02/blade-…

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MeteoGib Beautiful photo of Kelvin-Helmholtz waves captured over yesterday - photo @DavidOrtega64: pic.twitter.com/Grjh8jsb9l

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:56 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@kcarruthers Shhh! @alexkidman must never know that he has been Transferred.

via TweetDeck in reply to kcarruthers

“Come and see the ALP policy goblins in their sparkly grotto of innovation!” by @firstdogonmoon theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

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Because @SBS2 is showing old episodes of @midnight, behold! “So Your Cat Wants A Massage?” youtube.com/watch?v=TnZhi5…

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“Couple pleads guilty to death of elderly relative housed in shipping container” abc.net.au/news/6268638

via iOS

“Brandis not doing his job, former human rights commissioner says.” You go, @Graemeinnes! abc.net.au/news/6269466

via iOS

@murpharoo Oh. I thought they weren’t linked, but that one would follow the other.

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@murpharoo Well they wouldn’t be allowed on the bus then.

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cnni A scan of a golden Buddha statue revealed an extraordinary secret. See what was inside: cnn.it/1BkgBCs pic.twitter.com/dCcSQlhZA9

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:32 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@murpharoo This I don’t know. It was billed as a “llama drama”, but how do you tell the difference between a llama and an alpaca? [Shrugs.]

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RT @oberonsghost: @stilgherrian I wouldn’t. Here’s why. pic.twitter.com/EJ09K4URSw [This is just wowserism. Nanny state gone mad.]

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@Garth_P_Newton @ausmus As the local says, Wentworth Falls. I update it as I cross the Nepean.

via TweetDeck in reply to Garth_P_Newton

Me at @zdnetaustralia: “The second-class internet? You’re soaking in it” zdnet.com/article/the-se… Thank you, Madge. youtube.com/watch?v=5wSO0-…

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Hmmm. I have told my friend that isopropyl alcohol isn’t much chop.

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RT @pixelambacht: Introducing Sans Bullshit Sans™, a font that gets rid of buzzwords: sansbullshitsans.com pic.twitter.com/zmFMUwVJOt [YES!]

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Can you drink isopropyl alcohol, perhaps with lime? Asking for a friend.

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Seriously, what is going on here? Last night I was RUN DOWN by a car. Today I am ATTACKED by a leech. IT IS THE END TIMES.

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@Garth_P_Newton @ausmus So I am reasonably convinced that the two critter was the leech.

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@Garth_P_Newton @ausmus Well, the critter disappeared near to where I was cooking before, and then the leech was on me as I finished lunch.

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@kcarruthers Well that would keep the leeches away while I slept, certainly.

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Please go through my recent tweets and replace “anterior” with “posterior”. How am I expected to remember Latin when I am being eaten?

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@GailWilkie I did that and then slid the fucker off me, and THEN smashed it and smashed it and smashed it and smashed it and smashed it.

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Oh well. I was tired and thinking of having a nap just before but NOW I AM TOTALLY AWAKE AND LIVING IN FEAR OF BEING DEVOURED BY CREATURES.

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I had no idea leeches were so long (10cm) and thin when they wandered around.

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RT @PointZeroOne: I really don’t know how you thought that was a worm [You Google “leech” and the images are all fat things.]

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Here is a close-up of the front end, showing the silver stripe and the yellowish banding. pic.twitter.com/AW68syoohC

via Plume for Android

It’s the leech, @Manic_Henry @engochick. On the high-res photo I can see the yellowish sections that showed more clearly when it was fat.

via TweetDeck in reply to Manic_Henry

MT @madcatjo2point0: Has it got a silvery grey stripe? [From the photo, yes.] It is some sort of leech. [Yes, so it is. Bugger.]

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NO I AM NOT POSTING A PIC OF THE SPOON AND YES THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE BUT HONESTLY THAT IS NOT REALLY SO UNUSUAL.

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Indeed, @Manic_Henry @engochick, I was fairly sure it was a worm. I didn’t see where it went though.

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I can’t show you a picture of the leech ‘cos I kinda smashed it to a pulp with a wooden spoon.

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The critter I just removed was only a quarter the length, has an obvious anterior sucker, and visible yellowish banding.

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OK, so is this a leech? I thought the anterior sucker was quite a large, visible thing? pic.twitter.com/Wvwc2r4rbE

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Fucking hell. That was definitely a worm earlier, but I just found a leech attached between my toes. Fuck knows where it came from.

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5at5 number 150: Winning photos, stylish air travel, shit, piss, cum, and old criminals. It’s a disturbing weekend. tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5…

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michellebvd CNN Interviews A Celebrity Llama Named Pierre On Live TV buzzfeed.com/mbvd/cnn-inter… pic.twitter.com/LRDboKvZcp

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:57 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

I’ll read the report on the weekend. I’m in no mad rush.

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Tray fatty gay.

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Maybe if I pretend that everything is an imprisoned child then it’ll be easier to ignore.

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God I’m going to have to read that report, aren’t I. Because I’m not Senator Ian Macdonald and actually do my job.

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“Advisory report on the Telecommunications (Interception and Access) Amendment (Data Retention) Bill 2014” aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_…

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Xxl fd to executeddf execx ldexecxf [Well obviously.]

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Look, like I would use a gatling gun “inappropriately”.

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I’ve had to unfollow @WoefulAuspol because it’s just too depressing.

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So, @DeptDefence @Australian_Navy, with HMAS Sydney decommissioning, you won’t want this Phalanx any more, right? pic.twitter.com/YdHmUuK3jX

via TweetDeck in reply to DeptDefence

DeptDefence HMAS Sydney entered Heads for the final time as a @Australian_Navy ship today news.defence.gov.au/2015/02/27/fin… pic.twitter.com/lRxwBuIt5w

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 1:50 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

missdi_k Something something llama something something dress. I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 1:44 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

TheFix The @BuzzFeed “What Color is This Dress” post has been viewed more than 4 million times in 3 hours. The Internet is amazing/awful.

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 1:43 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

EverythingGoats Baby Goat wearing white and gold sweater pic.twitter.com/m1VzbtaEQZ

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 1:35 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@JohnBirmingham @PanMacAus Look, I wouldn’t want to scare anyone…

via TweetDeck in reply to JohnBirmingham

BlogsofWar Twitter has me all like pic.twitter.com/87RVOUy9NU

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:31 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@JohnBirmingham It certainly is. Maybe there should be a kiloton rating on the front cover.

via TweetDeck in reply to JohnBirmingham

hypatiadotca Planning on giggling your way thru @CSICyber’s premiere next week? Here’s some help - presenting CSI: Cyber Bingo! cyberbingo.herokuapp.com

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:14 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@MadScotty @JohnBirmingham Yes, the first boom is indeed excellent. I’ll be reading the second as soon as I get in a reading mood.

via TweetDeck in reply to MadScotty

@TownCraftGame @expectproblems You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

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bustersdah @YaThinkN @davidbewart @Drag0nista Has Bill announced when good opposition will start?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:10 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

[A topical but ultimately unfunny joke about ungulates and women’s clothing.]

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@ResignInShame OMFG THERE WAS A TYPING MISTAKE IN A TWEET WHATEVER SHALL WE DO. Well, maybe just get on with our lives.

via TweetDeck in reply to ResignInShame

@jdub Meh. I want the article to be found when people look for it. “Prostrating yourself” is a few steps past that. Here, I’ll show you.

via TweetDeck in reply to jdub

It would seem, from those book covers, that @JohnBirmingham won’t be happy until he’s exploded the entire world.

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JohnBirmingham YAY! “@PanMacAus: Another drum roll.. cover reveal for ASCENDANCE: Dave Hooper # 3. Hello sexy covers!! pic.twitter.com/QMjjGajNFS

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 12:55 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

“Stop monkeying around with our metadata laws, prime minister” (19 Feb) zdnet.com/article/stop-m…

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OK, I used “metadata” in recent headlines, but that’s more for the bloody SEO than debate. Hence my recent yarn…

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Me from March 2014: “It’s time that metadata met and end” zdnet.com/article/its-ti…

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Stop calling it metadata. That just reinforces the government framing that it’s special and different and you don’t have to worry about it.

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“Unbalanced,

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“We are falling in behind Tony,’ said South Australian MP Rowan Ramsey. So, like a mass grave? news.com.au/national/polit…

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“I Am Troughman: Meet the Elusive Godfather of Golden Showers” vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/t…

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Erm. No, phone, that Instagram image is from 12 hours ago. What even is the point?

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Crossing the Nepean, after midnight instagram.com/p/zlg6rliFhX/

via Instagram

Photos from the ‘Forensics: The Anatomy of Crime’ at Wellcome Collection in London this week. dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2…

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@jeamland @mercergov Excellent news. Usually it’s just culturally illiterate programmers, who are of course quite rare*.

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Revesby man arrested by @nswpolice for large-scale mail theft. At least 164 victims across 20 suburbs. police.nsw.gov.au/news/media_rel…

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jturner_ibrs Metadata is also a matter of perspective. My name is data, but it is also metadata about me.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:05 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

jturner_ibrs Metadata is data. It’s data about the data. It’s not less data, it’s more data.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:03 PM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

“Ruddock asked me to do my job ‘without fear or favour’. Brandis ended that tradition”, wrotes @Graemeinnes theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

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markham In journalism you can be factual, profound and quick, but only two of those at a time @cunyjschool pic.twitter.com/HQ3692qBl3

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 11:55 AM, Feb 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@GreenJ And I only got 6 on the biscuits.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@GreenJ I still had fresh memories of this list of 300 new North Korean slogans. boingboing.net/2015/02/13/nor… Though it says something about TED.

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@GreenJ What did you get on “North Korean Slogan or TED Talk Sound Bite?”? motherjones.com/media/2015/02/… I got 13 out of 14.

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