Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

April 5th, 2016

@joshgnosis That’s nice of you to say so, but I’m not. Really.

via TweetDeck in reply to joshgnosis

@KrazyKarl910 I didn’t realise that poorly-written sex scenes were a pre-requisite.

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@joshgnosis Thanks, tho I’m not entering.

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@joshgnosis And you deserve it. Good luck, Sir!

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@joshgnosis Spot the man putting together his Lizzies entry.

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I’m not sure this is how it’s meant to work, but then I imagine the legal issues are complicated. twitter.com/mlcalderone/st…

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I can confirm from personal experience that lettuce really was this rubbish in the 1970s. twitter.com/70s_party/stat…

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So is Kevin Andrews prime minister yet?

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@tim_rutter Yeah, perhaps we’d better not think about that.

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@tim_rutter Meanwhile, a selected group of civil servants sit in their COG bunker shitting into a bucket.

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@tim_rutter I always wondered how World War III would have run, what with failures of system all over.

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@tim_rutter I got the impression, as a complete outsider, that reliability was a problem across British armour around then.

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@michaelneale Always organise your dildos before you start.

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@kjmci @kemal_atlay Look, if you guys want to stand on the wrong side of history then that’s your problem.

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@kjmci @kemal_atlay I think we should be more concerned that some people say “parma” instead of “parmy”.

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@michaelneale The first Space Age flights were sub-orbital too. You need to sort out your landing systems first. After that it’s just grunt.

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Flight 3 of Blue Origin, which a former air force intelligence officer just told me is “the world’s biggest dildo”. youtube.com/watch?v=YU3J-j…

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Actually, 2566 Radioelectronic Armament Repair Plant looks useful. They’ll upgrade and maintain your ex-Soviet air defence systems.

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I seem to have fallen down a Belorussian defence manufacture promo film rabbit hole and I can’t get up.

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“Film “2566 Radioelectronic Armament Repair Plant’”, which I think you’ll admit is a catchy title.youtube.com/watch?v=lf9PxX…

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johnb78 I see @alaindebotton has bought a van pic.twitter.com/d2AbUc3y3c

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:13 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@dfg77 @HumansOfThis Of course you did. But then I have very low standards.

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Tony Ate… at Eight #37: Tony is discovered stealing imaginary tea from kids. (Photo: Lyndon Mechielsen/News Corppic.twitter.com/TbuOuivLnTnT

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, even imaginary things. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST.

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@dfg77 I’m listening to you on @HumansOfThis right now.

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@PaulCunningham Oh. I take that back. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BTR_(vehi… I didn’t realise (or forgot) it’s not just the eight-wheelers.

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@wine_o_phile I hasn’t got the same role as a BTR though. This is for armed reconnaissance, BTR is an armoured personnel carrier.

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@PaulCunningham Yeah, I was going to say that was all a bit undisciplined.

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@dfg77 I think you should chastise your hosts. Loudly. In a mock-German accent.

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And for the finishing touch, can you ever have too many orange smoke grenades?

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It’s also appropriate that a Belorussian defence manufacturer use Ukrainian EDM as their music bed, no?

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I love the idea of a promo for an armoured vehicle having a breakdown for when your pills kick in. youtube.com/watch?v=D02btg…

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“Test-driving a new Belorussian «Caiman» Light Armoured Reconnaissance Vehicle”, with SkyfLim backing track. defence-blog.com/army/test-driv…

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That was probably too many sausages.

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Makes note of new band name: Frigid Anus. twitter.com/smidgey/status…

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I’m not entirely sure what’s going in here, but who am I to judge? twitter.com/Jason_Chatfiel…

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I’m assuming that “Braddon” is that chap in the background. twitter.com/dfg77/status/7…

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kjmci That’s Federation Square, Melbourne. twitter.com/Londonist/stat…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:07 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

catherinebouris Shout out to Jeremy Anderson who doesn’t care about refugees because his bins are broken pic.twitter.com/ZOS2v89fZ0

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:02 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

glenglenglen Over Easter the wind blew an 8ft cardboard cut-out of Beyoncé onto the side of the Nunhead to Lewisham line. pic.twitter.com/XsRtVE5n8G

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:56 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@swearyanthony @mpesce @will_ock Maybe that’s part of their recruiting process.

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How’s the answer to this shaping up, @will_ock? twitter.com/swearyanthony/…

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Il faut que je cook some sausages.

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SofieHagen Coca Cola and chocolate tastes awful together. So I’m somewhat of a hero for making it work.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:35 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@voltagex I think they’re called “helicopters”.

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What if chemtrails are made of vaccine?

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@voltagex Yeah, but why use wind turbines for that? Surely you could spray some sort of trail… say, from an aircraft?

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thegrugq Every single security appliance: “we’ll alert you so your security team can handle it”
Every single security team: pic.twitter.com/iTC4WShPsW

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 6:32 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Another war that will never end..twitter.com/oberonsghost/s…Fm

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He hunted it down personally, with a spear, wearing nothing but a loincloth. twitter.com/NewtonMark/sta…

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@rwerkh Indeed. I am utterly over it all.

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@rwerkh That too, I guess, yes. Consistency and reliability, so you get what you bought.

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@rwerkh I’m not arguing for or against any solution here, just saying that final potential speed is not the only issue.

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@rwerkh That’s easy. Fibretards’ only point is potential speed. Issues of cost, build time etc never get a look-in

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“Telco industry slams NBN CVC pricing”, writes @thelaughingsub zdnet.com/article/telco-…

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@developerjack It’s a kind of unleavened bread, I think.

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Are these things meant to do this? twitter.com/HAZ/status/717…

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OrkneyLibrary Do you like our blue tick @ShetlandLibrary? We know you already have blue ticks but ours isn’t caught off sheep pic.twitter.com/QIt6WWzd0a

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:11 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@joshgnosis @stuffspucker Thank you. The supply really does seem to be endless.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to joshgnosis

MarkDiStef Lol @TurnbullMalcolm’s 404 page is wild. pic.twitter.com/9SIERzPwKK

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:47 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

So @johnmcternan just retweeted this and now I’m imagining him in The Shorts. It’s… it’s troublesometwitter.com/DonDunstan/sta…Id

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@jplonie @BundyB @OaaSvc It doesn’t drop packets. Just leaves.

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@oberonsghost @jdub Freud would have a field day with most of “Drawn Together”.

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jdub Current status. pic.twitter.com/pDAiAIHs8B

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:36 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

I tired of that “debate” several years ago, so I guess I’m ahead of the industry.

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“Clare’s NBN criticisms fall flat as industry tires of technology debate”, writes @thelaughingsub zdnet.com/article/clares…

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I see that the fibretards are still with us.

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I sometimes wonder whether the people I’ve muted even notice, of just continue to talk at me into the void.

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Oh piss off, LinkedIn.

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The same goes for movies about love. twitter.com/NuclearAnthro/…

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alexismadrigal Apparently @LifeHacks is for people who have never actually been alive in the physical world.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:02 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@daviottenheimer @speechboy71 It’s not exactly a sophisticated discussion of the issues. It’s just platitudes.

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@daviottenheimer @speechboy71 It’s exactly a sophisticated discussion of the issues. It’s just platitudes.

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NewtonMark … or it can actually just fly from one country to another, on planestwitter.com/amworldtodaypm…nW

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 1:47 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Another soon-to-be sad victim of extraordinary rendition… twitter.com/jxeeno/status/…

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sosadtoday i have a headache, probably from being dropped off on earth with no clue what any of this is

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:39 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@paulwallbank “The continuing decline in program development skills”?

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katherinemiller Does Donald Trump know what Abraham Lincoln did as president? pic.twitter.com/FKASiEUp6M

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:37 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

speechboy71 Sanders answer on drones is just embarrassing pic.twitter.com/dwi14E2x0w

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:34 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@davidcheal What I’m now imagining is a whiney voice, “But doing thing properly is haaaaaard.”

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“Smart Homes” really are such narcissistic bullshit.

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All this infosec stuff would be easier if people just put an icon of a padlock on each page.

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@davidcheal How might it get to “really fuck up” a project?

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Yes, I did just say that.

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There’s still this daft idea that SSL/TLS is some VAST BURDEN on the internet. OK, it’s a pain in the arse to do, but people need to relax.

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@BlogsofWar Hah! Well I dunno about a TED talk, but A Certain Editor has just commissioned a column about it.

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Oh here we go! We’ll have a dozen pwned government sites by the weekend at this rate. twitter.com/will_ock/statu…

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@BundyB @jplonie That is a deeply cynical comment.

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There’s never been a more exciting time to bugger up your data protection.

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And who the fuck are these muppets? We’re living in a Muppetocracy! twitter.com/will_ock/statu…

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semibogan Idiots.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 12:12 PM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Tue plan, redraft: Irritating data wrangling (in progress); start @zdnetaustralia column; laundry; certain tasks on SEKRIT client website.

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@Rob_Stott I’m sure I don’t understand your answer. Absolutely sure.

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@dobes Well I for one would like Ivana Trump to polish my cutlery.

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Remember when chefs cooked things rather than make TV programs?

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thehill Ivana Trump: “We need immigrants. Who’s going to vacuum our living rooms?” hill.cm/gGwqkxu pic.twitter.com/sYqFSwACOJ

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 11:05 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Government_News Border Force plays the national security card to arrest airport strikes: tinyurl.com/jbc7tpm pic.twitter.com/ouyh6FIZZE

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:02 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

GonzoHacker I got an Unusual Sign In notice from Microsoft. They noticed I appeared to be using one of their services on purpose.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:59 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

In which the Lord Mayor of Brisbane shows us how to do provincial proper good. Also, well done @JorgeBrancoBNE . twitter.com/JorgeBrancoBNE…

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sspencer_63 Could someone warn the Health Minister a 12 YO appears to be issuing media releases under her name? pic.twitter.com/cJsQaUg8kP

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:43 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@alexkidman Fine. I’ll send the fucking death squads. You choose.

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@jperlow It’s scary how well that worked.

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@dobes I know. I should reply to those arsehats with six para of medical detail before saying “No, I can’t come.”

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Never let this cunt near a buffet table. twitter.com/duncanriley/st…

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I’m sick of organisations starting every communication with generic waffle about their goddam vision. We’ve heard it. Get to the damn point.

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@viocorp For a live event, @aus_dto might have mentioned the time a little sooner than six paragraphs down. Skip the generic waffle.

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cyberwar How very stealthy. twitter.com/zenalbatross/s…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:18 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

BlogsofWar Why do we have to choose? It can be both. twitter.com/bbcworld/statu…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:02 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

oz_f Anyone who doesn’t support Kevin Rudd for UN secretary-general is un-Australian.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:01 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@jamesmassola Oh well, only another three months to… ;)

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@jamesmassola I don’t know how you can keep covering this stuff without going mad.

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@jamesmassola Yeah, OK, I pondered that as I tweeted. So genuinely an idle question, not a criticism.

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The bullshit bunraku of politics.

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It’s as ritualise and nuanced as kabuki. Or as bunraku, because all are puppets. ‘Cept they’re not made of bullshit. twitter.com/TurnbullMalcol…

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Images like this one are really about reinforcing that made-up causality. And all the media goes along with the gag. twitter.com/TurnbullMalcol…

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It’s a dreary game. Assert that A (a thing you want to do) causes B (generic result). So if your opponent opposes A, you say they oppose B.

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Next up, they’ll talk about strengthening the navy by painting apple blue. twitter.com/TurnbullMalcol…

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gths Kevin Andrews is like the old can of creamed corn at the back of the pantry when you’ve forgotten to go shopping but need to cook dinner.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:34 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

BBCWorld Ex NZ PM Clark to run for UN top job bbc.in/236xzUb

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 9:32 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

JazzTwemlow Huh, what do you know? The company that’s detaining children offshore is detaining Australian tax money offshore too
smh.com.au/business/world…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:32 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

“This Is a Generic Presidential Campaign Ad, by Dissolve”. It’s very presidential. And very generic. Five stars. vimeo.com/160842124

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GonzoVice But even then it’s a mean kind of fun, and more like the rising edge of a speed trip than anything peaceful or pleasant.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 9:24 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Colvinius It’s on. Kevin Andrews will be PM by May.

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 9:24 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@nazzer Because they’re mindless corporate robots who never reflect upon what they’re doing?

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@chrisrauchle Yes, you did. Now don’t find it ever again.

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I think I’m going to be sick.

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Wasabi peas are a breakfast food, right?

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elliebainb spot the difference: young joseph stalin and zayn malik pic.twitter.com/dnGH3ZohsW

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:47 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Dr Turner’s Liniment can* cure rheumatism, neuralgia, toothache, swellings, baldness, sore throats… twitter.com/jturner_ibrs/s…

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DPRK_News Unnatural degenerate Piers Morgan, once idolized by millions, now bellows empty threats in the fashion of a chastised howler monkey.

via Mobile Web (M5) (retweeted on 8:38 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

“Bitcoinland is abuzz with speculation Craig Steven Wright will out himself as Satoshi Nakamoto,” apparently. ftalphaville.ft.com/2016/03/31/215…

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We have bespoke memes now? This artisanal bullshit has gone too far. twitter.com/jason_a_w/stat…

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From now on I’m going to refer to Kevin Andrews as the Puzzled Horse.

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DavidParis New source of dankness found: the Hillary for Prison Movement on Facebook is hilarious pic.twitter.com/MEF4EeukVy

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:27 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

toby_etc OK. twitter.com/australian/sta…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:25 AM, Apr 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@SnarkyPlatypus Why would you repress such a wonderful scene?

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Prime Minister Andrews and his wife wait nervously for their meeting with President Obama. pic.twitter.com/TQQ5rtKRPW

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Why does every photograph of Kevin Andrews look like he’s completely puzzled by something in the middle distance?

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I would’ve thought more of you would’ve known the horse thing.

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Mind you, at least these unnamed Liberal MPs finally said what we all think. smh.com.au/federal-politi… pic.twitter.com/lHlvlhKiEC

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Surely though, @jamesmassola, it’s the disunity that sparked the challenge, not vice versa? smh.com.au/federal-politi… pic.twitter.com/BBqCjTXvO8

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Then again, it might be. We need more research on this topic. twitter.com/AbstractCode/s…

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Well, that’s today’s reflection of reality in “The Thick of It”. Doubtless more to come.

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ARE YOU A FUCKING HORSE YES YOU ARE.

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Oh. My. God. That means Andrews is Abbott’s horse. ABBOTT IS RIDING ANDREWS LIKE A HORSE.

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“Are you a horse? Are you a fucking horse? Are you a fucking horse? Are you sure? You got a pretty fucking horsey face…”

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh God, I’m prepared to challenge Malcolm too! smh.com.au/federal-politi… pic.twitter.com/pD2jjb7adK

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Tony Ate… at Eight #37: Tony is discovered stealing imaginary tea from kids. (Photo: Lyndon Mechielsen/News Corppic.twitter.com/3KvSpKU0I2I2

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, even imaginary things. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST.

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@Rob_Stott Kevin Andrews is still a thing? I mean, I’d Google it, but do I want “kevin andrews” in my search history?

via TweetDeck in reply to Rob_Stott

So, I was busy yesterday. The Prime Minister or the government didn’t to anything stupid, did they?

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Being mystified by a bank statement. The balance has changed, but there are no new transactions. Banks are excellent.

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Tue plan, draft: Urgent data wrangling; write for @zdnetaustralia; laundry; certain tasks on SEKRIT client website; face the ugly reality.

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Tuesday. There is no excuse. Tuesday.

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