@paulwallbank I’ll get the absinthe.
@paulwallbank You’re preaching to the choir, ma’am.

eohiggins Shocking. pic.twitter.com/xBbDSIy1AD
“Trust scores” are where some algorithm decides “You want to log in? Yeah, seems close enough. Whatever.” twitter.com/verge/status/7…
@shenmaxiu Yeah, but I haven’t been back in more than 10 years. I only have to be on a standard clinical dose of my meds now.
@tacticalmaid Oh. I think I may have actually known that once.
@shenmaxiu @tacticalmaid @btucker22 I’m originally from Adelaide, but WTF is Zone 3?
Herring1967 I think that’s pretty much repressed gay pride day RT @Ponderinglif: I think BF and EDL keep arranging them but noone turns up.
True. They suit you. twitter.com/MolksTVTalk/st…
@RaincyK Thank you very much. I think.
@shenmaxiu @tacticalmaid @btucker22 Oh dear God, I’d forgotten about that. Thanks. Thanks for nothing.
@tacticalmaid Yeah but @btucker22 so missed a Spiders from Mars joke. youtube.com/watch?v=CIZyiy…

btucker22 Giant space spiders above #Canberra, otherwise known as huntsman, on the Mt Stromlo Sky Cam pic.twitter.com/GE7omY8dr2
So anyway, yes, star of TV and TV @markhumphries will be joining us this Saturday. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Shoosh, @markhumphries, I haven’t announced that you’re on “The 9pm Edict Public House Forum 3” yet. IT’S A SEKRIT.
I was planning to announce the whole panel tonight, but the rain seems to have delayed people’s email.
So far I have one really good and one kinda average panellist confirmed. Book your audience spot now. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@kcarruthers I know. It’s sort of @ChuckTingle Lite. amazon.com/Chuck-Tingle/e…
@WeathermanABC Thanks for that, Graham. You’re bringing back ancient memories of high-school earth sciences.

“I don’t seem to be enough for my husband any more.” @guardian pic.twitter.com/bANLxPQKyE
TBH, the eyelines in this pic look more like it’s from a @guardian column about a failing middle-class marriage. twitter.com/kcarruthers/st…
And no, @kcarruthers, I’m not searching for “russian bear porn” because I’m pretty sure what I’ll find.
Rule 34. twitter.com/kcarruthers/st…
JazzTwemlow Coral bleaching, like anal bleaching, is a sign that humanity has lost its way.
@captaincaple The 9am local time thing has been there forever. Maybe @WeathermanABC knows the history?
Beautiful-looking tarts ruined by cheap fat, eh? Tell me more, Vicar. twitter.com/tomatom/status…
@WeathermanABC Or possibly my alleged sense of humour needs recalibrating. It’s been a long day.
@WeathermanABC Correct. (Also, your satire detector needs recalibrating.)
See, people, this is how we all know that climate change is a fraud. twitter.com/WeathermanABC/…
@whiteswine @miss_shiny Nice work, Philip!

@jdub @laureningram Are you sure you want to eat him? pic.twitter.com/32rHLfeVD0
@GordyPls @kcarruthers I haven’t heard about most things.
@miss_shiny My pleasure. Also, I need to get out more.
@miss_shiny You could also have a Bananaby Split for dessert, or something with Pyne Nuts.
@miss_shiny Well there you go.
@miss_shiny It’s the truffle oil. And the leather jacked. And I don’t think you can get leatherjackets (fish) in Sydney,Or make waffles.
@miss_shiny Oh FFS, it’s easy. Aged beef in truffle oil, duck(bill) in shortbread pastry (or short soup, so wontons), and a greens salad.
@dobes @GordyPls Look, I have a response to this, and my response is that you’re in Taipei right now, so suck it up, Sunshine.
On a related note, @paulwallbank, is that event really called “Silicon Dragon”? FFS give me strength. #silicondragon
[Checks calendar.] It’s not 1997, is it? twitter.com/paulwallbank/s…
So this is not actually possible, since it’s still May. Don’t let these people play with any sharp objects. twitter.com/WeathermanABC/…
Hurrah! twitter.com/SBSNews/status…
@Asher_Wolf @BundyB They’re big on formality in Asia, so yeah big mistake. #insertyourownstereotypehere
@markhumphries All good. So many people have had a weird day. I think it must all the part of God’s Plan.
@markhumphries You need to check your DMs.
I’d planned to announce tonight who’s on the panel for Saturday’s recording but people aren’t answering email. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Mate, if you put a dolphin into a cement mixer you’ll get into all sort of serious trouble. Trust me, I know. twitter.com/erkpod/status/…
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Have you no self-awareness whatsoever? (That’s a rhetorical question.)

The Sydney fintech community is planning a push into Asia, so they’ve got all the diversity issues covered. pic.twitter.com/8lK4PqfMnp
So 9 of the 20 first-round audience spots have already gone. You should grab yours now. publichouseforum3.eventbrite.com twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@nqwatcher @daniels_den @abclandline Yes, I’m sure you know best.

daniels_den “a lack of cyclones” RT @abclandline #Banana prices slump as warm, wet winter causes glut ab.co/1U9K8nm pic.twitter.com/l3mcCyVHRT
@venessapaech @paulwallbank I hope you’ve sprayed the disinfectant at him.
@jturner_ibrs You have no idea how relieved I am.
NicholasFryer Complex emotions, here. twitter.com/abcnewsAdelaid…
benpobjie “Mummy, you’re drunk” twitter.com/Mamamia/status…
Remind me again how a man buying flowers for his wife is election news? twitter.com/StephieBorys/s…
Remind me again how a man buying flowers for his wife is election news? twitter.com/StephieBorys/s…

dobes Media landscape for 2016. Just needs bankruptcy court to complete the set. pic.twitter.com/dOAKobY4mh

Hey look, everyone! Sydney traffic is perfect again. And it’s not even 1800 yet. pic.twitter.com/cwgG1RtBrq
@ashirben Yes, @paulwallbank, ask here. Twitter is a safe space.
@ClintonDucas Well it wouldn’t do any harm, so yeah.
@techoglot True.
This is terrible euphemism. twitter.com/ClintonDucas/s…

BIG PLUG: “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3” is recorded this Saturday afternoon. stilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/ pic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8R
@paulwallbank @ashirben Meh. Add it to the list.

The pleuting is getting worse out there, @glengyron. pic.twitter.com/umBgNCi2eh
And the rest are low-doc home loan scams? twitter.com/paulwallbank/s…
@rpy @glengyron Yeah, pictures of slack-jawed gawking SMH readers going base over apex into puddles are always fun.

So tell me more about your plan to go look at the pretty lights, @glengyron. pic.twitter.com/9X9t3YTEBy
@rashasman Quite probably. I get all my best advice from YouTube.
Speaking of which..twitter.com/trouteyes/stat…NS
Or so I’m told.
It’s easier to put coloured cellophane over a Dolphin torch, chuck it into a cement mixer, and scoff some bad acid. twitter.com/glengyron/stat…
@KompleatKnut Why? How do you cook them?
@NuclearAnthro @NorthSydTweetup EMP can fix pretty much anything.
How’s the North Shore going with its CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC? Make it through the day OK? twitter.com/NorthSydTweetu…
@BernardKeane With the emphasis on “semi-detchaed”.
@BernardKeane Well, NSW Greens are more or less an inner-west semi-detached property-value maintenance organisation.
@BernardKeane I addressed this issue earlier in the month. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
opsecanimals #HowToGetReadyForADate
-Wear a balaclava
-Use a disposable phone purchased with cash
-Arrive a few hours early to keep an eye on things

crikey_news Today’s @deptofaustralia. Birds, you’re next. pic.twitter.com/aRsRG7Ru1e
I supposed that having to sleep for three hours today, as opposed to four hours yesterday, is something of an improvement.
Bmermph.
It’s time for Mel D. twitter.com/bondnickbond/s…
“Abbott, a loudmouth with a loony streak, was in some ways a precursor of Donald Trump.” nytimes.com/2016/05/31/opi…
Well have you ever tried huffing paint from a tin? twitter.com/GreenJ/status/…

joshgnosis I stumbled upon the Christian Democrats Facebook page. :\ pic.twitter.com/CSvFuj9hXz
My eyes are starting to fall out of my face and it’s not even midday yet.
@alexkidman Could you perhaps make me a brief video, so I’ve got the technique down right?
@aqualung Plastic elephants always confuse me too.
@aqualung African elephant numbers are 450,000 to 700,000, apparently. defenders.org/elephant/basic… That’s a lot of London buses.
So have you actually tried typing while reading the computer screen while drinking coffee? Go on, give it a go. twitter.com/NBN_Australia/…
Wow, I never knew that African elephants were made of plastic. twitter.com/voxdotcom/stat…

tfswebb AUSTRALIA IN COMBAT, a timeline
1910’s: world war one
1930’s: emu wars
2010’s: pic.twitter.com/BKRtU0qva6
@shenmaxiu I couldn’t comment on that. I don’t get to Wollongong very often.
These people seriously need to get out more. twitter.com/shenmaxiu/stat…
@KrazyKarl910 @AlboMP @smurray38 Yeah, that all makes sense.
Yeah, pretty much. twitter.com/granleese/stat…
@shellity @patstokes @shenmaxiu @oberonsghost I’m starting ti like this whole concept even more.
@christopherneal Agreed. I don’t think this will end well.
EXCELLENT WE WILL BE ABLE TO TORTURE THE ROBOTS. twitter.com/verge/status/7…
Tue plan, redraft: Organise podcast talent; bookkeeping; write for @zdnetaustralia, if I make it that far; stay warm throughout.
So I still have a cold.
Good thinking. twitter.com/FlyOpineMonkey…
@KompleatKnut @TheNTNews No let’s not ask @guardianstyle ‘cos they can’t do proper orthography for NASA or ASIO and they will burn in Hell.
I think @TheNTNews has finally got woke about donkeys.
STOP THE BEES. twitter.com/alistaircolema…
flensomatic @SwiftOnSecurity @NorthSydTweetup @stilgherrian auuugh no I caught the bug!!! im cybercrimes now. Dont touch its contagious
Well here’s a question that I hadn’t considered before. twitter.com/AngryExile/sta…
@mrgrumpystephen You’ve got a pencil in your nose?
@R_Chirgwin Oh I am listening to AM, but the idea of Christopher Pyne visiting Elizabeth has kept me going.
JazzTwemlow Good morning all. Global warming continues and the political system has abandoned you. Cloudy to overcast westerly.

So Sydney traffic is improving* as the morning unfolds… pic.twitter.com/5undijcRyc
@mrgrumpystephen We have a secret ballot in Australia, Stephen, and that information is between me and my pencil.
This is excellent advice, given the statistics. twitter.com/TheNTNews/stat…
Oh what’s Pyne squawking on about now?
Right, I’d better make some breakfast and see whether I can get enough brain cells firing long enough to get some serious work done today.
Yes, @EuanRitchie1 @NuclearAnthro, where “awesome” means “lying unconscious and upside-down in a pile of your own excrement”. Kinda hot.
WHO. THE. FUCK. CARES.
Serve the electorate. Don’t service the Canberra spin doctors. Well, not unless they’re hot.
Which means deciding who is “winning” the campaign is really just judging who happened to re-bleat their talking points with fewer stumbles.
Far too much political coverage is just stenography of party X saying party Y is bad or random punters giving uninformed tribal feelpinions.
Journalists should interrupt, “We’re not interested in you saying the other side is bad. Let’s look at YOUR policy.” twitter.com/FJKeany/status…
Dear Infosec and Cyberfolk in Victoria, please comment on electronic voting in a way that might make a difference. twitter.com/VicParliament/…
@i386 One can only hope.

So yeah, Sydney traffic is a mess right now, especially that 15km bank-up down Campbelltown way. pic.twitter.com/r01IzarfNK
@i386 I’ve just heard the latest traffic report. It’s a mess out there.

Reminder: “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3” is recorded this Saturday afternoon. stilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/ pic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8R
Plus talk of reducing the pull factors is just code for telling refugees that Australia will treat them like shit. Yeah good work, @AlboMP.
You know, @AlboMP, talk of “pull factors” and “push factors” is pretty dehumanising. twitter.com/smurray38/stat…
BREAKING: It rained in Sydney overnight and it is still raining so the entire city has descended into utter chaos.
@davispg I’ll approach the editor later. There shall be words.
Yeah fair enough. twitter.com/AusHCUK/status…
@MsLods I’d heard from Dr Teague that one was in the works. I suppose I should read the thing.
@irisherself @calestous Why does this book have a glass buttplug on the cover?
@trentyarwood So that’s @GordyPls in the cover photo?
Also, there’s a magazine called “Northshore Living”? God, give me strength. twitter.com/NorthSydTweetu…
CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC! twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC! twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC! twitter.com/NorthSydTweetu…
“A ‘Kung Fury’ Sequel Is In The Works” darkhorizons.com/news/43287/a-k… HT @jeamland
@jeamland Well this indeed good and sensible news.
@NuclearAnthro @EuanRitchie1 Wombats are grumpy little shits and made of concrete and grumpy.
@R_Chirgwin @trentyarwood @cheshireb BUT IT SOUNDS SO SCIENCEY SO YOU JUST SHUT UP AGILE NIMBLE INNOVATION IDEASBOOM.
@sylmobile @cheshireb @trentyarwood Where RTA is road traffic accident. I think the medical abbreviation is MVA for motor vehicle accident.
@sylmobile @cheshireb @trentyarwood For age 1-14 top five are certain malignant neoplasms, submersion, more neoplasms, RTA, cerebral palsy.
@trentyarwood @cheshireb Yes, that’s also an issue. Kill broad science-directed research, replace with politics-directed research.
“Data61’s mission to wipe out the password”, writes @parisbcowan itnews.com.au/news/data61s-m…
@trentyarwood @cheshireb That I am a terrible person is a fact well established for many years now.
@sylmobile @cheshireb @trentyarwood Ooh! Data cubes!
@trentyarwood @cheshireb I asked because “children”, “cancer” and “genetics research” press a lot of buttons during an election campaign.
@trentyarwood @cheshireb And HIV requires long-term management, so hard to compare? Anyway, the overall message is that it is significant.
@NuclearAnthro Quolls, on the other hand. Or even quokkas.
@NuclearAnthro @EuanRitchie1 You haven’t actually met a wombat, have you.
Needs more lasers. twitter.com/brainsturbator…
@sylmobile No, I’m in Sydney all this week.
@garystark @riskybusiness I did. It’s a little piece of silly linguistics I use from time to time.
@trentyarwood @cheshireb Thanks for all that. So it IS significant. And I’m guessing the genetics research will have spinoffs.
Tue plan, draft: Organise podcast talent; write for @zdnetaustralia; bookkeeping; 1830 @OpenAustralia meetup meetup.com/OpenAustralia-….
@riskybusiness My plan was only to emphasise “wrong” as “wrog”, but now that you point it out, yeah, I’ll claim the credit.

Now @AusElectoralCom and @CNN have got me very confused about the battle for Falluja. edition.cnn.com/2016/05/30/mid… pic.twitter.com/JnDQ44IO2m
So, humourless support for a low-factuality demagogue, @riskybusiness? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WROMG?
riskybusiness It took me a while to figure out this guy isn’t posting these as satire… twitter.com/moekamerow/sta…

It’s really starting to get quite Soviet, @riskybusiness. pic.twitter.com/Cggp1thMZU
riskybusiness Trump fan art really is something hey… twitter.com/moekamerow/sta…
2. Why map the DNA only of cancer patients? We could map the DNA of every newborn and then use it to… oh… yeah… that human rights thing.
1. Childhood cancer is obviously frightening, but where is it on the scale of childhood health risks? @cheshireb @trentyarwood
“Malcolm Turnbull to announce Coalition’s $20m childhood cancer genetics program” abc.net.au/news/2016-05-3… I have two questions…
So, @TheNTNews, what are you going to do about this? twitter.com/AFP/status/737…
@shenmaxiu @oberonsghost And perhaps also in relation to increased gin or tea consumption.

shiftkey to be fair though, look at this kangaroo pic.twitter.com/8HEuzmB8Ep
shiftkey australia: where the cows and kangaroos are more deadly than sharks and crocodiles? twitter.com/AFP/status/737…
This is excellent news, and I know @oberonsghost will be thrilled*. twitter.com/shenmaxiu/stat…
There’s more from Dr Vanessa Teague on electronic voting at 32m15s into this Corrupted Nerds podcast from Nov 2015. corruptednerds.com/pod/c00013/
“Voting security in Australia” from @amworldtodaypm abc.net.au/pm/content/201… in which Dr Vanessa Teague highlights some problems.
I also like the impact of its announcement. twitter.com/sarahcarles/st…

I really do like this “Midsomer Murders Plot Generator”..patrickstokes.com/?page_id=866Jpic.twitter.com/qYmqQlJ9ZsZs

Early risers, “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3” is recorded this Saturday afternoon. stilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/ pic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8R
Trust @jeamland to get the wrong end of the stick. twitter.com/jeamland/statu…
Tuesday. No, I assure you it is the same size. There’s no need to keep asking me, because that is my answer. Tuesday.

This from @deptofaustralia is 100% true. pic.twitter.com/XWTMU6Xgh2
I also expect a pony, world peace, and a gift basket of some sort.
I’m off to bed. By tomorrow morning, I expect all first-round audience spots to be gone, and four interesting guests to have volunteered.
@MolksTVTalk I’m hoping that in the new financial year I can do them in other cities.
@MolksTVTalk Well, I hope so. I need to find the appropriate D-grade celebrities first.
I’ve been slothing today because of a cold, but I’ll be organising the talent tomorrow and announcing the panellists tomorrow night.

And here’s Public House Forum 2 (Dec 2015) stilgherrian.com/edict/00054/ pic.twitter.com/qhj0kWBTSJ

Here’s Public House Forum 1 (Sep 2015) stilgherrian.com/edict/00049/ pic.twitter.com/embHjrxixG

So yeah, “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3” is being recorded this Saturday 4 June. stilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/ pic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8R
Well try this. Exactly the same line-up, but naked in a spa bath full of olive oil. twitter.com/ABillionSuns/s…
@AlisterAir @ConversationEDU Oh it’s an actual sentence, and grammatically OK, but it’s a terribly old-fashioned literary affectation.

Pollytics Twitter, never change. pic.twitter.com/qxeURK1aIP
“How unpleasant the @ConversationEDU can make sentences for people who dare to read their tweets.” —@stilgherrianntwitter.com/ConversationED…I
I think we all need to savour the moment. twitter.com/AlisterAir/sta…

ABCemergency #ICYMI Records broken for coldest May morning in eight areas across NSW, @BOM_au confirms abc.net.au/news/2016-05-3… pic.twitter.com/45eUpliVQh