@paulwallbank I’ll get the absinthe.
@paulwallbank You’re preaching to the choir, ma’am.
eohiggins Shocking. pic.twitter.com/xBbDSIy1AD
“Trust scores†are where some algorithm decides “You want to log in? Yeah, seems close enough. Whatever.†https://t.co/OdiiiNQyKq
@shenmaxiu Yeah, but I haven’t been back in more than 10 years. I only have to be on a standard clinical dose of my meds now.
@tacticalmaid Oh. I think I may have actually known that once.
@shenmaxiu @tacticalmaid @btucker22 I’m originally from Adelaide, but WTF is Zone 3?
Herring1967 I think that’s pretty much repressed gay pride day RT @Ponderinglif: I think BF and EDL keep arranging them but noone turns up.
True. They suit you. https://t.co/8tswKINc3c
@RaincyK Thank you very much. I think.
@shenmaxiu @tacticalmaid @btucker22 Oh dear God, I’d forgotten about that. Thanks. Thanks for nothing.
@tacticalmaid Yeah but @btucker22 so missed a Spiders from Mars joke. https://t.co/ucHTkQZFlK
btucker22 Giant space spiders above #Canberra, otherwise known as huntsman, on the Mt Stromlo Sky Cam pic.twitter.com/GE7omY8dr2
So anyway, yes, star of TV and TV @markhumphries will be joining us this Saturday. https://t.co/cP2UULUdld
Shoosh, @markhumphries, I haven’t announced that you’re on “The 9pm Edict Public House Forum 3†yet. IT’S A SEKRIT.
I was planning to announce the whole panel tonight, but the rain seems to have delayed people’s email.
So far I have one really good and one kinda average panellist confirmed. Book your audience spot now. https://t.co/cP2UULUdld
@kcarruthers I know. It’s sort of @ChuckTingle Lite. https://t.co/c5ZjFbnOif
@WeathermanABC Thanks for that, Graham. You’re bringing back ancient memories of high-school earth sciences.
“I don’t seem to be enough for my husband any mor@guardiandpic.twitter.com/bANLxPQKyEQKyE
TBH, the eyelines in this pic look more like it’s from a @guardian column about a failing middle-class marriage. https://t.co/BonZROEZdU
And no, @kcarruthers, I’m not searching for “russian bear porn†because I’m pretty sure what I’ll find.
Rule 34. https://t.co/BonZROEZdU
JazzTwemlow Coral bleaching, like anal bleaching, is a sign that humanity has lost its way.
@captaincaple The 9am local time thing has been there forever. Maybe @WeathermanABC knows the history?
Beautiful-looking tarts ruined by cheap fat, eh? Tell me more, Vicar. https://t.co/tsHeWw2BNH
@WeathermanABC Or possibly my alleged sense of humour needs recalibrating. It’s been a long day.
@WeathermanABC Correct. (Also, your satire detector needs recalibrating.)
See, people, this is how we all know that climate change is a fraud. https://t.co/wolAFbqY8U
@whiteswine @miss_shiny Nice work, Philip!
@jdub @laureningram Are you sure you want to eat him? pic.twitter.com/32rHLfeVD0
@GordyPls @kcarruthers I haven’t heard about most things.
@miss_shiny My pleasure. Also, I need to get out more.
@miss_shiny You could also have a Bananaby Split for dessert, or something with Pyne Nuts.
@miss_shiny Well there you go.
@miss_shiny It’s the truffle oil. And the leather jacked. And I don’t think you can get leatherjackets (fish) in Sydney,Or make waffles.
@miss_shiny Oh FFS, it’s easy. Aged beef in truffle oil, duck(bill) in shortbread pastry (or short soup, so wontons), and a greens salad.
@dobes @GordyPls Look, I have a response to this, and my response is that you’re in Taipei right now, so suck it up, Sunshine.
On a related note, @paulwallbank, is that event really called “Silicon Dragon� FFS give me streng#silicondragonagon
[Checks calendar.] It’s not 1997, is it? https://t.co/dvH7WP3iQp
So this is not actually possible, since it’s still May. Don’t let these people play with any sharp objects. https://t.co/kr8PdGKGgt
Hurrah! https://t.co/ILNyW9oAZS
@Asher_Wolf @BundyB They’re big on formality in Asia, so yeah big mistake#insertyourownstereotypeherere
@markhumphries All good. So many people have had a weird day. I think it must all the part of God’s Plan.
@markhumphries You need to check your DMs.
I’d planned to announce tonight who’s on the panel for Saturday’s recording but people aren’t answering email. https://t.co/jqZ2Iv6OU0
Mate, if you put a dolphin into a cement mixer you’ll get into all sort of serious trouble. Trust me, I know. https://t.co/eLjUIKLyIX
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Have you no self-awareness whatsoever? (That’s a rhetorical question.)
The Sydney fintech community is planning a push into Asia, so they’ve got all the diversity issues covered. pic.twitter.com/8lK4PqfMnp
So 9 of the 20 first-round audience spots have already gone. You should grab yours now. https://t.co/LQmXfQhW64 https://t.co/cP2UULUdld
@nqwatcher @daniels_den @abclandline Yes, I’m sure you know best.
daniels_den “a lack of cyclones” RT @abclandline #Banana prices slump as warm, wet winter causes glut ab.co/1U9K8nm pic.twitter.com/l3mcCyVHRT
@venessapaech @paulwallbank I hope you’ve sprayed the disinfectant at him.
@jturner_ibrs You have no idea how relieved I am.
RT @NicholasFryer: Complex emotions, here. https://t.co/A9NWjUHpYs
RT @benpobjie: “Mummy, you’re drunk” https://t.co/iBGCZrWrhF
Remind me again how a man buying flowers for his wife is election news? https://t.co/k3fG54lHjO
Remind me again how a man buying flowers for his wife is election news? https://t.co/t68Y05zKWI
dobes Media landscape for 2016. Just needs bankruptcy court to complete the set. pic.twitter.com/dOAKobY4mh
Hey look, everyone! Sydney traffic is perfect again. And it’s not even 1800 yetpic.twitter.com/cwgG1RtBrqrq
@ashirben Yes, @paulwallbank, ask here. Twitter is a safe space.
@ClintonDucas Well it wouldn’t do any harm, so yeah.
@techoglot True.
This is terrible euphemism. https://t.co/I2If1uhuA2
BIG PLUG: “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3†is recorded this Saturday afterstilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/spic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8RUq3t8R
@paulwallbank @ashirben Meh. Add it to the list.
The pleuting is getting worse out there, @glengyron. pic.twitter.com/umBgNCi2eh
And the rest are low-doc home loan scams? https://t.co/97jyUn6o73
@rpy @glengyron Yeah, pictures of slack-jawed gawking SMH readers going base over apex into puddles are always fun.
So tell me more about your plan to go look at the pretty lights, @glengyron. pic.twitter.com/9X9t3YTEBy
@rashasman Quite probably. I get all my best advice from YouTube.
Speaking of which… https://t.co/F8jdlHBRNS
Or so I’m told.
It’s easier to put coloured cellophane over a Dolphin torch, chuck it into a cement mixer, and scoff some bad acid. https://t.co/705nq7afvc
@KompleatKnut Why? How do you cook them?
@NuclearAnthro @NorthSydTweetup EMP can fix pretty much anything.
How’s the North Shore going with its CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC? Make it through the day OK? https://t.co/mVHAeeZcFq
@BernardKeane With the emphasis on “semi-detchaedâ€.
@BernardKeane Well, NSW Greens are more or less an inner-west semi-detached property-value maintenance organisation.
@BernardKeane I addressed this issue earlier in the month. https://t.co/fgOJFud6Sr
opsecanimals #HowToGetReadyForADate
-Wear a balaclava
-Use a disposable phone purchased with cash
-Arrive a few hours early to keep an eye on things
crikey_news Today’s @deptofaustralia. Birds, you’re next. pic.twitter.com/aRsRG7Ru1e
I supposed that having to sleep for three hours today, as opposed to four hours yesterday, is something of an improvement.
Bmermph.
It’s time for Mel D. https://t.co/rhoj980w3T
“Abbott, a loudmouth with a loony streak, was in some ways a precursor of Donald Trump.†https://t.co/u0JrZhiktO
Well have you ever tried huffing paint from a tin? https://t.co/SsGp8TG3Mn
joshgnosis I stumbled upon the Christian Democrats Facebook page. :\ pic.twitter.com/CSvFuj9hXz
My eyes are starting to fall out of my face and it’s not even midday yet.
@alexkidman Could you perhaps make me a brief video, so I’ve got the technique down right?
@aqualung Plastic elephants always confuse me too.
Same. https://t.co/lPCwGhbP4f
@aqualung African elephant numbers are 450,000 to 700,000, apparently. https://t.co/zkjwUTnfMX That’s a lot of London buses.
So have you actually tried typing while reading the computer screen while drinking coffee? Go on, give it a go. https://t.co/FquVAgoRQg
Wow, I never knew that African elephants were made of plastic. https://t.co/EzhI4nsck4
tfswebb AUSTRALIA IN COMBAT, a timeline
1910’s: world war one
1930’s: emu wars
2010’s: pic.twitter.com/BKRtU0qva6
@shenmaxiu I couldn’t comment on that. I don’t get to Wollongong very often.
These people seriously need to get out more. https://t.co/rQ18h4YET4
@KrazyKarl910 @AlboMP @smurray38 Yeah, that all makes sense.
Yeah, pretty much. https://t.co/kAe11iCUx6
@shellity @patstokes @shenmaxiu @oberonsghost I’m starting ti like this whole concept even more.
@christopherneal Agreed. I don’t think this will end well.
EXCELLENT WE WILL BE ABLE TO TORTURE THE ROBOTS. https://t.co/pxLDqte05a
Tue plan, redraft: Organise podcast talent; bookkeeping; write for @zdnetaustralia, if I make it that far; stay warm throughout.
So I still have a cold.
Good thinking. https://t.co/wG1ECGQ0xX
@KompleatKnut @TheNTNews No let’s not as@guardianstylele ’cos they can’t do proper orthography for NASA or ASIO and they will burn in Hell.
I think @TheNTNews has finally got woke about donkeys.
STOP THE BEES. https://t.co/oedfwsZsuo
RT @flensomatic: @SwiftOnSecurity @NorthSydTweetup @stilgherrian auuugh no I caught the bug!!! im cybercrimes now. Dont touch its contagious
Well here’s a question that I hadn’t considered before. https://t.co/tYOkOVsnaY
@mrgrumpystephen You’ve got a pencil in your nose?
@R_Chirgwin Oh I am listening to AM, but the idea of Christopher Pyne visiting Elizabeth has kept me going.
JazzTwemlow Good morning all. Global warming continues and the political system has abandoned you. Cloudy to overcast westerly.
So Sydney traffic is improving* as the morning unfolds… pic.twitter.com/5undijcRyc
@mrgrumpystephen We have a secret ballot in Australia, Stephen, and that information is between me and my pencil.
This is excellent advice, given the statistics. https://t.co/7g4UqiMfiw
Oh what’s Pyne squawking on about now?
Right, I’d better make some breakfast and see whether I can get enough brain cells firing long enough to get some serious work done today.
Yes, @EuanRitchie1 @NuclearAnthro, where “awesome†means “lying unconscious and upside-down in a pile of your own excrementâ€. Kinda hot.
WHO. THE. FUCK. CARES.
Serve the electorate. Don’t service the Canberra spin doctors. Well, not unless they’re hot.
Which means deciding who is “winning†the campaign is really just judging who happened to re-bleat their talking points with fewer stumbles.
Far too much political coverage is just stenography of party X saying party Y is bad or random punters giving uninformed tribal feelpinions.
Journalists should interrupt, “We’re not interested in you saying the other side is bad. Let’s look at YOUR policy.” https://t.co/h5ULiAnDK2
Dear Infosec and Cyberfolk in Victoria, please comment on electronic voting in a way that might make a difference. https://t.co/sm4kzrxGvT
@i386 One can only hope.
So yeah, Sydney traffic is a mess right now, especially that 15km bank-up down Campbelltown way. pic.twitter.com/r01IzarfNK
@i386 I’ve just heard the latest traffic report. It’s a mess out there.
Reminder: “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3†is recorded this Saturday afterstilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/spic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8RUq3t8R
Plus talk of reducing the pull factors is just code for telling refugees that Australia will treat them like shit. Yeah good work, @AlboMP.
You know, @AlboMP, talk of “pull factors†and “push factors†is pretty dehumanising. https://t.co/NwDA6GIGcz
BREAKING: It rained in Sydney overnight and it is still raining so the entire city has descended into utter chaos.
@davispg I’ll approach the editor later. There shall be words.
Yeah fair enough. https://t.co/NqT680ljwA
@MsLods I’d heard from Dr Teague that one was in the works. I suppose I should read the thing.
@irisherself @calestous Why does this book have a glass buttplug on the cover?
@trentyarwood So that’@GordyPlsls in the cover photo?
Also, there’s a magazine called “Northshore Living� God, give me strength. https://t.co/mVHAeeZcFq
CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC! https://t.co/UIS8q7mydk
CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC! https://t.co/1jAPSIV4NH
CYBERCRIME EPIDEMIC! https://t.co/mVHAeeZcFq
“A ‘Kung Fury’ Sequel Is In The Works†https://t.co/CG7xfTb6YV HT @jeamland
@jeamland Well this indeed good and sensible news.
@NuclearAnthro @EuanRitchie1 Wombats are grumpy little shits and made of concrete and grumpy.
@R_Chirgwin @trentyarwood @cheshireb BUT IT SOUNDS SO SCIENCEY SO YOU JUST SHUT UP AGILE NIMBLE INNOVATION IDEASBOOM.
@sylmobile @cheshireb @trentyarwood Where RTA is road traffic accident. I think the medical abbreviation is MVA for motor vehicle accident.
@sylmobile @cheshireb @trentyarwood For age 1-14 top five are certain malignant neoplasms, submersion, more neoplasms, RTA, cerebral palsy.
@trentyarwood @cheshireb Yes, that’s also an issue. Kill broad science-directed research, replace with politics-directed research.
“Data61’s mission to wipe out the passwordâ€, writes @parisbcowan https://t.co/JAjN4Hebcz
@trentyarwood @cheshireb That I am a terrible person is a fact well established for many years now.
@sylmobile @cheshireb @trentyarwood Ooh! Data cubes!
@trentyarwood @cheshireb I asked because “childrenâ€, “cancer†and “genetics research†press a lot of buttons during an election campaign.
@trentyarwood @cheshireb And HIV requires long-term management, so hard to compare? Anyway, the overall message is that it is significant.
@NuclearAnthro Quolls, on the other hand. Or even quokkas.
@NuclearAnthro @EuanRitchie1 You haven’t actually met a wombat, have you.
Needs more lasers. https://t.co/yxY69H3brA
@sylmobile No, I’m in Sydney all this week.
@garystark @riskybusiness I did. It’s a little piece of silly linguistics I use from time to time.
@trentyarwood @cheshireb Thanks for all that. So it IS significant. And I’m guessing the genetics research will have spinoffs.
Tue plan, draft: Organise podcast talent; write for @zdnetaustralia; bookkeeping; 1830 @OpenAustralia meetup https://t.co/5Axf8Ee6UL.
@riskybusiness My plan was only to emphasise “wrong†as “wrogâ€, but now that you point it out, yeah, I’ll claim the credit.
Now @AusElectoralCom and @cnn have got me very confused about the battle for Falluja. https://t.co/pHn8GP3lxT https://t.co/JnDQ44IO2m
So, humourless support for a low-factuality demagogue, @riskybusiness? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WROMG?
RT @riskybusiness: It took me a while to figure out this guy isn’t posting these as satire… https://t.co/goNwfVSewb
It’s really starting to get quite Soviet@riskybusinesssspic.twitter.com/Cggp1thMZUZU
RT @riskybusiness: Trump fan art really is something hey… https://t.co/lGs6B83kNA
2. Why map the DNA only of cancer patients? We could map the DNA of every newborn and then use it to… oh… yeah… that human rights thing.
1. Childhood cancer is obviously frightening, but where is it on the scale of childhood health risks? @cheshireb @trentyarwood
“Malcolm Turnbull to announce Coalition’s $20m childhood cancer genetics program†https://t.co/31qHABNQg9 I have two questions…
So, @TheNTNews, what are you going to do about this? https://t.co/Jj45ISJ8Wm
@shenmaxiu @oberonsghost And perhaps also in relation to increased gin or tea consumption.
shiftkey to be fair though, look at this kangaroo pic.twitter.com/8HEuzmB8Ep
RT @shiftkey: australia: where the cows and kangaroos are more deadly than sharks and crocodiles? https://t.co/mWGAfKghX4
This is excellent news, and I know @oberonsghost will be thrilled*. https://t.co/t5A33s2Rwr
There’s more from Dr Vanessa Teague on electronic voting at 32m15s into this Corrupted Nerds podcast from Nov 2015corruptednerds.com/pod/c00013/y9
“Voting security in Australia†from @amworldtodaypm https://t.co/kdtZ6rvReC in which Dr Vanessa Teague highlights some problems.
I also like the impact of its announcement. https://t.co/pxuCbg6Akm
I really do like this “Midsomer Murders Plot Generatorâpatrickstokes.com/?page_id=8666pic.twitter.com/qYmqQlJ9ZsQlJ9Zs
Early risers, “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3†is recorded this Saturday afterstilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/spic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8RUq3t8R
Trust @jeamland to get the wrong end of the stick. https://t.co/Y68iitA7pH
Tuesday. No, I assure you it is the same size. There’s no need to keep asking me, because that is my answer. Tuesday.
This from @deptofaustralia is 100% true. pic.twitter.com/XWTMU6Xgh2
I also expect a pony, world peace, and a gift basket of some sort.
I’m off to bed. By tomorrow morning, I expect all first-round audience spots to be gone, and four interesting guests to have volunteered.
@MolksTVTalk I’m hoping that in the new financial year I can do them in other cities.
@MolksTVTalk Well, I hope so. I need to find the appropriate D-grade celebrities first.
I’ve been slothing today because of a cold, but I’ll be organising the talent tomorrow and announcing the panellists tomorrow night.
And here’s Public House Forum 2 (Dec 2015stilgherrian.com/edict/00054/epic.twitter.com/qhj0kWBTSJSJ
Here’s Public House Forum 1 (Sep 2015stilgherrian.com/edict/00049/9pic.twitter.com/embHjrxixGxG
So yeah, “The 9pm Edict’s Public House Forum #3†is being recorded this Saturday 4 stilgherrian.com/edict/00058a/spic.twitter.com/xGdUUq3t8RUq3t8R
Well try this. Exactly the same line-up, but naked in a spa bath full of olive oil. https://t.co/4OWaC8vLGM
@AlisterAir @ConversationEDU Oh it’s an actual sentence, and grammatically OK, but it’s a terribly old-fashioned literary affectation.
Pollytics Twitter, never change. pic.twitter.com/qxeURK1aIP
“How unpleasant the @ConversationEDU can make sentences for people who dare to read their tweets.†— @stilgherrian https://t.co/B6jTgygmBI
I think we all need to savour the moment. https://t.co/esYJBa7FYA
RT @ABCemergency: #ICYMI Records broken for coldest May morning in eight areas across NSW, @BOM_au confirms https://t.co/zc8pZpvJVc https:/…