Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

May 2nd, 2016

@KrazyKarl910 Oh I’m positive everything is shit. :)

via TweetDeck in reply to KrazyKarl910

Maybe Donald Trump is Satoshi. It’d explain why he can lose money running a casino.

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@mikispag Please forgive me then. It’s been an annoying day in Australia, and I’m in an uncharitable mood.

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Wouldn’t it be better if families could work less, spend more time with each other, and benefit from AU’s wealth? twitter.com/LachlanHeywood…

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@mikko Glad to see you’re helping.

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mikko @stilgherrian Satoshi Nakamoto died for our sins.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:34 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

FFS, people, face the reality. Everything’s shit. It’s always been shit. It always will be shit. Fancy maths won’t ever change that.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

It’s approaching midnight, so maybe someone else can dig out the historical quotes about each new discovery heralding some golden age.

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@_miw That’s basically the reason. Great, cool crypto. But everything’s still people, and all that that implies.

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If only the blockchain were made of barbed wire and could be shoved fair up the arse of every tedious fucktard libertarian cryptozealot.

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I am going to be so annoyed with the entire planet for the next 48 hours, aren’t it.

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Gosh possibly because we’re human and like stories about other humans. twitter.com/mikispag/statu…

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kcarruthers next thing we know Craig will claim he’s @SwiftOnSecurity too

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:14 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

certsimplessl BREAKING: journalists reveal otter as true creator of Bitcoin, after this delicious fish provided as proof. pic.twitter.com/Fvcp58rJ2P

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:11 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

New podcast: “The 9pm Victory over the Adult Hedgehog Onesie Bomber” stilgherrian.com/edict/00057/ pic.twitter.com/PL2FneHnQy

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@riskybusiness Oh I spotted the sarcasm. I couldn’t even be arsed laughing at all that any more.

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@riskybusiness Nah, that was just breaking as I started work. I couldn’t be arsed trying to get my head around it tonight.

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@riskybusiness Given that I was scripting as I went too, yeah, that seems a fair assessment. :)

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@riskybusiness I was editing as I was recording, in little pieces. Far from being live-to-tape with a few cuts.

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Recording has finished. Rendering, compression and labelling has begun.

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burgotastic Maybe they should just shut up and focus on the task at hand twitter.com/newscientist/s…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:48 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

ETA of the new episode of “The 9pm Edict” podcast is now more like 2230 AEST, because I can’t be bothered rushing things.

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LovelyCorrine Proof, I think, that @stilgherrian is the real Satoshi pic.twitter.com/HCuaPZax1o

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:16 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Meanwhile, the recording of “The 9pm Edict” podcast proceeds to plan. I reckon it’ll be online around 2200 AEST.

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Tony Ate… at Eight #64: Distracted, Tony fails to notice the man with rubber gloves. (Photo: Plymouth Bretherenpic.twitter.com/b3vOGcc3coco

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, and of rubber-gloved hands. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST

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jpstacey Thom Yorke is Satoshi Nakamoto: pass it on

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:23 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

ThePoke Meanwhile in Russia

thepoke.co.uk/2015/04/26/mea… pic.twitter.com/HjDyEDPyV2

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:17 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

HEY EVERYONE IT’S JUST ONE SLEEP UNTIL BUDGET NIGHT

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Right. I’m settling in to get this podcast done. Some time somewhat after 2100 AEST, at this stage. We’ll see how I go.

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gths AC/DC in 2020: Axl Rose, Billy Corgan, Flea and whoever was the drummer in Wolfmother.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:50 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

“Lot of people need a good hard punch in the head.” There, fixed it for you, @NewtonMark. twitter.com/NewtonMark/sta…

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mjec The only way to come to a reliable answer your on this difficult question: a Twitter poll. twitter.com/TheEconomist/s…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:37 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Now, if the world could kindly stop throwing insane news stories into the mix, I’d like to record a podcast.

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Here’s Craig Wright’s “I am Satoshi” blog post, the basis for those allegedly-exclusive news stories. drcraigwright.net/jean-paul-sart…

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@extensions_th @smartbrain The carp herpes is also important. This country is insane.

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@extensions_th @smartbrain Yes, there is. All over Australian news this afternoon. You’ll soon find it.

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nazzer Hey @702sydney @smh There’s a certain in only being reported when men start a boycott. m.smh.com.au/nsw/male-speak…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:26 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

How is this a “world exclusive” if @TheEconomist is also running their embargoed story? twitter.com/LRB/status/727…

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@I_Am_LouLou @mackaysuzie Oh you can have a biscuit too! Or shall I go straight to patting you on the head?

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@I_Am_LouLou @mackaysuzie Good. I’ll send them two biscuits them. Maybe three.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA!

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[Deeeeeep breath.]

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HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA!

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HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA!

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HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA!

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[Deep breath.]

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HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA!

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TheEconomist Our technology editor @EconoScribe put Craig Wright to the test. Here’s the story econ.st/1NhjEn3 pic.twitter.com/NFFRtTqEfW

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 5:10 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

TheEconomist BREAKING NEWS: Craig Wright reveals himself as Satoshi Nakamoto, inventor of bitcoin econ.st/26JBwgJ pic.twitter.com/68RDPOP2Ku

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 5:10 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@I_Am_LouLou @mackaysuzie Good for them. I’ll send them a biscuit.

via TweetDeck in reply to I_Am_LouLou

If boomers think they’re where they are ‘cos of hard work, not luck, they should talk to their Depression and WWII-era parents.

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The very fact that people refer to a “property market” instead of “homes for for people to live in” shows how fucked-up their worldview is.

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Whereas all “millennials” want (and me, for that matter) is somewhere affordable to live, not a fucking lecture. twitter.com/4corners/statu…

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AU is also one of the richest nations, along with Switzerland, and what? 15th biggest economy? So all in proportion. twitter.com/MichaelPascoe0…

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gingerandhoney Things Bananaby will be remembered for:
1. Threatening to kill Johnny Depp’s dogs;
2. Giving venereal disease to fish.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:05 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

noplaceforsheep Giving carp venereal diseases will be the ultimate achievement of this government

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:05 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Well this podcast is pretty much writing itself today.

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If you have tired of the mental image of two besuited buffoons giving herpes to fish then you have tired of life.

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“It’s a serious issue how dare you make fun of my serious issue because it’s serious.” Oh fuck off. Why are you such a special snowflake?

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Carp for carp’s sake…

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firstdogonmoon @rwerkh @stilgherrian so now you are criticising the herpes criticiser criticisers - blame the victim why don’t you

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:46 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

“Inside My Erotic Carp Calendar Obsession” maxim.com/maxim-man/carp… HT @rwerkh pic.twitter.com/fvVZwb6N3W

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firstdogonmoon LEAVE CARP HERPES ALONE! If it works it will be amazing, if it doesn’t we won’t care because giant mutant death carp will have killed us all

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:43 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

OK, maybe I do want to see that diagram after all. pic.twitter.com/RrczuhbZPa

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

ABCmediawatch This has to be the paragraph of the week, from yesterday’s Sunday Telegraph @dailytelegraph pic.twitter.com/AW2tOC80w2

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:34 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Actually, I think Tony has already been giving lessons on how to infect fish. pic.twitter.com/jApS0fJR86

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Wait. How, exactly, does Barnaby plan to give herpes to these fish?

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ABCNSW You know those motivational slogans & , prepare to turn that on its head NOW ab.co/1XaPbHj pic.twitter.com/PI2fSuzkDY

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:24 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Either that or a mob of tuktuk drivers picketing for improved working conditions. Hard to say. twitter.com/fishmyman/stat…

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MarkDiStef Ladies and gentleman, we have the dumbest market open this pic.twitter.com/MQcGJTkg8V

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:18 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Is that octopus still available? twitter.com/DocEvatt/statu…

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leslienassar “g-o-a-t-s-e dot c-x, man, and it was /bananas/ how wide he could stretch that thing.” /cc @GreenJ pic.twitter.com/7RzcKCDPCT

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:48 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

GreenJ ‘… prized apart with my thumbs, and then the viscera poured forth …pic.twitter.com/vfTZTpusclcl

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 1:45 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Well I’ve been wanting to know this all day. twitter.com/vulture/status…

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Hi Mike. Yes, I’d love to enhance my Health, Wealth and Happiness At No Cost! pic.twitter.com/EUW33tv4AY

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@dobes Would the bite of a NodeSpider kill a NodePony?

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dobes @stilgherrian I’m going to get through all this spin. pic.twitter.com/cW4Ng4Lzpd

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 1:20 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@dobes There’s no point doing an FOI on this. It’s all a web of lies.

via TweetDeck in reply to dobes

Was this in the nature of an apology? twitter.com/FJKeany/status…

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“We will do what the contract says,” so we’re off to a good start. twitter.com/FJKeany/status…

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In further frightening news, those concrete covers on cable pits just lift off. twitter.com/ghostwhowrites…

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Hey @TurnbullMalcolm, $50 to the charity of your choice if you say “blood debt” to the French bloke.

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Right. Coffee then work. I’m going to make some email templates more beautiful because I’m so goddam creative.

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Trying to care about Quickflix.

OK finished.

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@glengyron @SnarkyPlatypus True. It might have been one of his entschmen.

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While @dannolan is of course the worst kind of human imaginable, I applaud and recommend his use of “have a sook”. twitter.com/dannolan/statu…

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We need to see the equivalent data for kale. twitter.com/NewtonMark/sta…

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No no no, they’re demonstrating to today’s shareholder meeting that it’ll be money well spent. twitter.com/alliecoyne/sta…

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Don’t worry. In a few minutes I’ll have gotten this all out of my system and I’ll get on with some actual work.

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GreenJ i have a range of possible responses … twitter.com/Slate/status/7…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 12:33 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Kleissner lol someone put Yahoo on Craigslist in the antiques section techcrunch.com/2016/04/29/buy…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:32 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

It’s not that hard, Tal. You just belt the arsehats with an iron bar until they understand. twitter.com/iiTalW/status/…

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Mind you, @basecamp is run by actual humans so, y’know, YMMV.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

For instance, this is a good fault notification. twitter.com/basecamp/statu…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Or even better, say what the problem is and HOW it’s affecting people. That’s information we can use to plan around the fault.

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Dear Every Corporation, can we stop with the “issue” and “impacting”? Be honest. “Fault” or “problem”, “affecting”. twitter.com/Telstra/status…

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jillastark As a single person with no kids I look forward to another Budget that pretends I don’t exist.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:15 PM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Of course @AntonyGreenABC’s seat-by-seat guide won’t go live until all the nominations are in.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

“Federal election 2016: @AntonyGreenABC’s election calculator live” abc.net.au/news/federal-e…

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srpeatling Obligatory not-at-all-staged pre budget pic of PM & Treasurer (avec bossy red Bauhaus style tea pot) by @mearesy. pic.twitter.com/8Dtomt3ASb

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:45 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

ToryShepherd Bit of a long wait. twitter.com/DanWillsTiser/…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:35 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

marrowing HADLEY: you’re vigorous tony. bold, and unforgettable
TONE: stroke me ray. feel my downy coat
HADLEY: it’s beautiful tony, just beautiful

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:34 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

When the Treasurer of Australia prepares the Budget, the PM must physically restrain him from punching the computer. twitter.com/Drag0nista/sta…

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I think I’ll have to eat something before executing this plan. That said, I think it will all be successful. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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Drag0nista @murpharoo 2015 pic.twitter.com/WVfjx99AZe

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:25 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

BuzzFeedOzPol Great moments in Australian journalism minister.border.gov.au/peterdutton/20… h/t @Adrian_Dodd pic.twitter.com/O4YcKK8AJs

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:23 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

This is serious stuff, people. Beware! twitter.com/JohnBirmingham…

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My God, @JohnBirmingham @CIA, that was quick. TWITTER MUST BE PART OF THE CONSPIRACY. I’VE SAID TOO MUCH. pic.twitter.com/KNidXpITCC

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@JohnBirmingham That said, there are all those secret @CIA HAARP mind-control rays forcing people to follow.

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@JohnBirmingham I’d rather @CIA tweet the takedown of the world’s most-wanted than another listicle about growing your influencer network.

via TweetDeck in reply to JohnBirmingham

Laughing at people whining about what the @CIA can and can’t do on their own goddam Twitter account.

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@ssharwood @alexkidman Yes, I see what you mean. I feel ill. And not in the way I did earlier.

via TweetDeck in reply to ssharwood

“Australia’s newest 3.0 crowdfunding platform”? FFS. [Reaches for the gin.]

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“Recent work? Well, I did a crotch shot for a Netflix stock photo, that’s probably the highlight.” pic.twitter.com/Rr9UH2mwRW

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Your glasses are fine, @lukehopewell. The scratch is in the soul of humanity.

via TweetDeck in reply to lukehopewell

Mate, most of us left that party when the sun came up Sunday morning. twitter.com/ssharwood/stat…

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SwiftOnSecurity Donald Trump could literally advocate Linux on the desktop and people would still vote for him.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:39 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

TawarRazaghi zomg wot is happening 😍 pic.twitter.com/jTl9eaP8Iw

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:36 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

HLMenckenBot She assumed that, being a man, I was vain to the point of imbecility, and this assumption was correct, as it always is.

via MenckenBot (retweeted on 10:31 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Merman_Melville I don’t need to play your little word game, I already know my “stripper name” pic.twitter.com/fZZg28n9kG

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:28 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@0x1C [Consults Wikipedia] So it would seem… pic.twitter.com/DLxwkP1rqw

via TweetDeck in reply to 0x1C

@0x1C Aural hallucinations are a disturbing symptom. You may wish to see medical advice.

via TweetDeck in reply to 0x1C

Further alleged plans may possibly be found in the Weekly Wrap, along with lettuce and tomato. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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Mon plan: Various geek-for-hire tasks, finally; produce “The 9pm Edict” podcast, finally; continue trying to ignore the nausea.

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Right, let’s have another go at this.

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Tony Ate… at Eight #64: Distracted, Tony fails to notice the man with rubber gloves. (Photo: Plymouth Bretherenpic.twitter.com/7gAGdCju0505

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, and of rubber-gloved hands. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST

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Oh yay Bristol Seven again this seems to be the way each day starts now I will be back in a while once the plaster of Paris sets.

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Yes. Bury them in wet concrete. Good thinking. twitter.com/servantofchaos…

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I don’t know. Is he? Why are you asking me? You’re the journalists. Why don’t you find out and let me know, OK? twitter.com/newscomauHQ/st…

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@myrcurial A cyberspanking! A cyberspanking! (Good God, what have we done?)

via TweetDeck in reply to myrcurial

Erm, @juhasaarinen, saltwater crocodiles are not often found in the mountains.

via TweetDeck in reply to juhasaarinen

Further elements of The Plan, such that it is, may be found in the latest Weekly Wrap. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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Mon plan, draft: Various geek-for-hire tasks, finally; produce “The 9pm Edict” podcast, finally; try to ignore the nausea.

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Digital zoom on a phone doesn’t quite do it justice.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

A clear, cold morning in the Blue Mountains. pic.twitter.com/6N4cTOlj4K

via Twitter for iPhone

GonzoHacker even though they all do and are probably laughing about it twitter.com/LaceyNycole/st…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:33 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@juhasaarinen Yeah, and now the whole thing is a car wreck.

via TweetDeck in reply to juhasaarinen

@SnarkyPlatypus @Agilience But how could I, when @GreenJ and @joshgnosis are even more experter authorities than me?

via TweetDeck in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Apparently Anthony Albanese (@AlboMP) is more of a Liberal Party authority than Labor. agilience.com/en/AlboMP pic.twitter.com/v01WquUqsT

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

“Josh Taylor (@joshgnosis) is rated Top 100 Liberal Party of Australia authority” agilience.com/en/joshgnosis Wow. pic.twitter.com/Al3tLBAtBL

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

“Jonathan Green (@GreenJ) is rated Top 250 Liberal Party of Australia authority” agilience.com/en/GreenJ

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

“Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian) is rated Top 500 Liberal Party of Australia authority” agilience.com/en/stilgherrian

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Mededitor Everybody, they say, wants to write a book. But y’know, some really shouldn’t. pic.twitter.com/oPGcIKsa9q

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:13 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

fanfiction_txt “So, this rod is a huge dildo, used to channel the telluric forces.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:45 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

fanfiction_txt to get yourself immersed into the experience of this fic, try to imagine all of the characters speaking Japanese

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:37 AM, May 2nd, 2016 via TweetDeck)

New (Sunday night) blog post: “Weekly Wrap 309: Broken computer, broken human” stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/30… pic.twitter.com/mek0Jucubu

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Monday. Everything is going swimmingly, except that you can’t swim. How awkward. Monday.

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