Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

May 5th, 2016

Anyway, that’s enough for today. Please feel free to continue being appalling as the evening unfolds. Gorn.

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@glengyron Are you talking about my gastro again?

via TweetDeck in reply to glengyron

Meanwhile, remember that time we discovered that @bengrubb was Bob Katter’s love child? stilgherrian.com/media/separate… pic.twitter.com/gqkZld1JG8

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@dobes @jxeeno And I believe the acronym is PaTH.

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paulkidd Dispose of the body and send the widow a corsage. twitter.com/farrm51/status…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:09 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

I THINK WE ALL NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS. twitter.com/JackLScanlan/s…

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Tony Ate… at Eight #67: Tony is hiding a startling surprise for Lee Hsien Loong. (Photo: Edgar Su/Reuterspic.twitter.com/s3BWsGfcGFGF

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, even when visiting Singapore. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST

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@dobes FFUTZ (Full Fibre Up The Wazoo).

via TweetDeck in reply to dobes

So my spray about @SenPaterson has been preserved in that “Storify” abomination by @NewtonMark. storify.com/NewtonMark/con…

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@reselsnark @dobes I reckon we can negotiate some sort of compromise here.

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@NewtonMark @Treners I didn’t do it and you can’t prove that I did.

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Right. I can see that we’ll have to deal with a bunch of recalcitrant arsehats as this election kicks off. I shall judge you appropriately.

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It goes to character, @kels_316. It’s about attention to detail. twitter.com/kels_316/statu…

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Look, @dobes, if the fuckers can’t be arsed typing “Coalition” then they’re not even worth throwing into a canal. twitter.com/dobes/status/7…

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If you’re too fucking lazy to even get the names of the political parties right, then it’s a clear sign your “analysis” is shit too.

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Look, everyone, let’s get one thing straight before this election campaign kicks off, OK? “LNP” is only a thing in Queensland.

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@murpharoo It’s best to make sure with these things.

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Sorry, @murpharoo, I’ve already arranged to impale my own face on a fencepost. twitter.com/murpharoo/stat…

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Also, my meds seem to be working. Or not working, depending on how you look at it.

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Ah, well here’s something a bit more interesting… twitter.com/annajhenderson…

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“And an image of Karl Marx did appear on his macaron…” twitter.com/britishmuseum/…

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@arcadiagt5 Not yet. Maybe me tweets are in a typeface he doesn’t have.

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@ozjezza That reminds me I’ve been meaning to find out the full cost (including video, Hansard, cleaning etc) for some time. On notice.

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Where the fuck do they find these people? (Don’t answer. I know. It’s a rhetorical question, FFS.)

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I believe I should now mutter something about having done this shit since before he was born and shout GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS.

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That vacuum cleaner story is real, BTW. Adelaide University Union. Why pay $1000 (for an industrial cleaner) when mum’s Electrolux was $149?

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You’re a Senator now, @SenPaterson. So grow the fuck up and focus on the big picture, unless you want to be a tribal chorus girl for life.

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Ah @SenPaterson, you remind me of student politicians arguing for an hour over a vacuum cleaner, but skipping over a $200k building job.

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And $50k, @SenPaterson? Chasing 0.005% of ABC’s budget? Good to see you focused on the important issues. Bravo. No really, bravo.

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Of course @SenPaterson pre-judging made-for-purpose as “lavish” reveals his question as pathetic ideology, not genuine enquiry. Arsehat.

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It shits me how much Estimates time, bloody expensive by the hour, is wasted by lazy Senators who can’t be bothered keeping up with things.

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As expected, @SenPaterson is too thick to just read the damn news story and ask, but pisses away Estimates time. twitter.com/workmanalice/s…

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WHY WAS I NOT INVITED TO THIS EVENT BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT. (Well, except for the event, obviously.) twitter.com/paulwallbank/s…

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mumbletwits Leaked internal party polling often = latest public polling traced along pendulum sshhh.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:33 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Sorry, what? Employers having to have an actual job vacancy before hiring cheap workers is a disincentive? twitter.com/jeremysear/sta…

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_AmyGray_ Something else @Mamamia should take into account with their exploitation of women in the guise of feminism. pic.twitter.com/atMwlPb3kg

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:18 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

kemal_atlay .@Riley7News reporting leaked internal Liberal polling showing Eden-Monaro among 5 of 7 marginal seats government likely to lose.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:17 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Last week’s Clarke & Dawe, in which they find the real culprit, is also worth watching. youtube.com/watch?v=K6GxEj…

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In which Clarke & Dawe examine the Budget. youtube.com/watch?v=d5M_Qy…

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Supernaut’s “live” performance of “I Like It Both Ways” on Bandstand, introduced by a very young Daryl Somers. youtube.com/watch?v=3YSB5e…

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@mogadeet Look, someone’s got to do it, or die trying.

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Remember, kids, the world is far more convoluted and fucked-up than you could ever imagine. And then some more.

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It’s probably best if you don’t ask. It was an Adelaide thing.

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Christian Kerr said I was the person who first played Supernaut’s “I Like It Both Ways” to him and Shaun Micallef. youtube.com/watch?v=9VDMmz…

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There is much truth in this sequence of tweets by @BernardKeane @MikeCarlton01 @TheMurdochTimes. pic.twitter.com/0O4dXP5fXC

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Finally watching That TV Interview with Turnbull. Dear oh dear. skynews.com.au/news/top-stori… pic.twitter.com/8WHNyoWO42

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@SiobhanArgent Yep. There’s a whole bunch of media and political clichés that we should be rid of.

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ivovic “What about that one Donald? Is that one a grain silo?”
“That’s the Washinton Monument, Ben. Stop talking.”
twitter.com/ivovic/status/…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:01 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

To be clear, this is not a party-political comment. It’s merely a complaint about lazy, clichéd language.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@eightiestragic @zerogeewhiz @EwinHannan No, only when the writs are issued to dissolve Parliament. We’re still a step or two from that.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to eightiestragic

zerogeewhiz Consolation prize that one. twitter.com/EwinHannan/sta…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:50 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

“Black hole attack sucks Malcolm Turnbull into budget twilight zone”, writes @lenoretaylor theguardian.com/australia-news…

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Every time someone says “budget black hole” I hear “shallow unimaginative dipshit”.

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umairh LOL this is like a dystopian book proposal twitter.com/rbreich/status…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:33 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@jdub Well it’s not. It was like that when I got here.

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purserj Did he deliberately land on the child? twitter.com/abcnews/status…

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 4:16 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

I would like to remind the honourable members that this smoke plume isn’t down to me. pic.twitter.com/6IT7kViHzf

via Twitter for iPhone

Dear @GuardianAus, please look at these search results, your headline, and your conscience. google.com.au/search?rls=en&… twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…

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@BobGrrl Or how I’d express it, “failed to manage its time properly, given the well-publicised political timetable”.

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And speaking of allegations of plagiarism… a great get by @MarkDiStef twitter.com/MarkDiStef/sta…

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@APixelShort Much clearer. This tired, fading writer thanks you.

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Apart from listing its terms of reference and submissions, this is ALL it says. (2/2) pic.twitter.com/YAJv8Ao7l6

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Oh dear God, this is one of the silliest Senate committee reports I’ve ever seen. (1/2) twitter.com/rohan_p/status…

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@SimonThomsen @APixelShort @BIAUS Sorry, @Colgo, I have been misinformed by an algorithm. Though “full support” sounds a bit of a worry.

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@APixelShort @BIAUS @Colgo I have indeed misunderstood, yes. Sorry. It’s been a long week.

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@APixelShort And brought to our attention by former @BIAUS editor @Colgo, who’d know if this were a legit deal. twitter.com/Colgo/status/7…

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@ABCmediawatch @myriamrobin This would seem to be relevant to your interests. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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@PointZeroOne No, @MolksTVTalk was saying that. I said either “perhaps” or maybe “probably”, or a word starting with P anyway.

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In fact, I think I might need a little bit of a lie-down.

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I’ve turned off the Parliament video feed now because it was making my brain go funny.

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A cunning plan!

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YouAreDogNow .@tedcruz You Are Dog Now pic.twitter.com/Bd4HMKUe1n

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:56 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@Paul_Karp Oh it’s just a little early in my day. I’m fragile. I hate to think what you’ve been through.

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I hereby coin the word “carpsucker”. pic.twitter.com/ZL0vRPNMDz

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@dobes That’d require them to know what a black hole actually is.

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I don’t understand why Turnbull doesn’t quietly say “We’ve just answered that question” and sit down. Far more powerful than the shouting.

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Morrison needs to learn to not look like he’s whining “But I DIDN’T steal Jayden’s lunch money! I didn’t. I DIDN’T.” Makes him look weak.

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Are we sure it wasn’t “grub”? twitter.com/samanthamaiden…

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Note to self: Retrieve that audio of Scott Morrison shouting “Harder and harder and harder!”

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@dobes I want to say “double-ended dildo” but I won’t.

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Oh hang on. “Jobs and growth.” My mistake. Crying.

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Today’s key phrase seems to be “enormous black hole”. Such a tired cliché. Not very innovative there, Prime Minister.

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@jxeeno @NewtonMark @joshgnosis Doubtless using some sort of “negative uploading” tax break. (That was funnier in my head.)

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Thu plan, supplemental: Much of those last two items will consist of me being your a dick on Twitter. As you may have already noticed.

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Thu plan, updates: Migrate back to my MacBook Pro; sausages; chores (nearly all done); much-needed gastro-recovery time; quiet evening.

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@NewtonMark @joshgnosis I know this one-year-old who’s already financing his own NBN.

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@mdennedy Thanks. And that is actually my registered business name. I am a terrible person.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to mdennedy

@dobes If we joined forces, we could quadruple it!

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@AtomicMPC Well that’s what I told him! No, wait.

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I am willing to match Mamamia’s offer. pic.twitter.com/10RPfH15RY

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MichaelRoddan lol Mamamia is auctioning things at the Caritas Women For The World lunch, including this “priceless” internship pic.twitter.com/bZC5wDoIha

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:02 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Ah, I have found the explanation for the valley full of smoke. rfs.nsw.gov.au/fire-informati… In summary, not my fault. pic.twitter.com/qAbdoM1DXO

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NewtonMark Maybe Trump is the real Zodiac killer?

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 12:55 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

The GOP is holding an international conference already? twitter.com/frankarr/statu…

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We used to call them “interns”. twitter.com/frankarr/statu…

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@elronxenu I thank you for your continued interest in the state of my bowels.

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bradleyvoytek Holy crap this is hilarious. Slow day for the press officer?

news.psu.edu/story/408045/2… pic.twitter.com/dgbtWShQ0S

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:39 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@jperlow BUT I’VE WATCHED JERSEY SHORE!

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“Uber hires former ACCC boss Allan Fels”, which is a bold and clever move. smh.com.au/business/innov…

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For those playing along at home: Bristol Four. Ping @elronxenu.

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Thanks, @GuardianAus/@Reuters, I needed a new avatar.

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I look forward to the United States following its first black President with its first orange one. twitter.com/dobes/status/7…

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Is someone daring to question the Prime Minister again?

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JoelRheinberger Pest possum control at pic.twitter.com/7ihLIubs4Z

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:05 PM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

My cranky @zdnetaustralia column from Wednesday: “Watch out for the cyber charlatans, Australia” zdnet.com/article/watch-…

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I think we need to flesh out this scale into the compulsory seven categories. twitter.com/waferbaby/stat…

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jturner_ibrs Client hires new infosec manager.
Doesn’t do reference checks.
I do.
Hilarity ensues.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:48 AM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Yep, this is EXACTLY how quantum computing is meant to work. Schrödinger predicted all of this. Or didn’t. twitter.com/R_Chirgwin/sta…

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GonzoHacker So based on the Trump campaign, I estimate I’ve been in this coma since mid-June 2015

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:43 AM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

joshgnosis Clive Palmer suggests paying Bronwyn Bishop’s entitlements in helicopter vouchers

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:39 AM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Wait. Ministers are meant to know what’s in their own policies now? These are arduous times. twitter.com/JoshButler/sta…

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Ah lovely, I’m back up and running on my own shiny MacBook Pro again.

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Well this conversation is certainly delivering some solid outcomes. twitter.com/twiddlekins/st…

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@voltagex @lorrainewhat @PointZeroOne @techoglot You’d need a big bucket. Or very small elephants.

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@elronxenu I haven’t visited @LinkedIn for ages. Again. I suppose I should have a look, but it’s just so dreadful.

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BTW, “Horses they pee on commando in bucket” is not what I thought. They meant “Horses they pee on command into bucket.” Disappoint.

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@lorrainewhat @PointZeroOne @techoglot @voltagex Wait a minute — supposing two elephants pissed together…

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Well, if you rate cleverness over sheer volume, sure. twitter.com/PointZeroOne/s…

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expectproblems SURPRISE! We’re beta testing a post-apocalyptic trucking action game for iOS. Wanna help? docs.google.com/forms/d/1yXWyj… pic.twitter.com/Otem4LpnbW

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 11:10 AM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@voltagex @techoglot But the video was MADE in a workplace. A farm.

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Well, Google, you can now add “cow pissing” to my dossier. Well done, everybody.

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And in this spirit of learning, @voltagex @techoglot, I present a brief video. youtube.com/watch?v=rL6iBS…

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@voltagex Knowledge is strange like that. Also, Google Translate goes colloquial on us. pic.twitter.com/d2LkoxjUmi

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Let me just say that from my own personal experience, I can confirm that a cow pissing on a flat rock would indeed be a lot of rain.

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“It may be raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock in the morning. It’s been dry as a popcorn fart out here. It has.”

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Listenting to @planetmoney episode 583: “Cow Noir”, a brilliant doco on cattle rustling in Oklahoma. (Nov 2014) npr.org/sections/money…

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If only there were some sort of organisation to maintain an overview of and arrange for the nation’s needs… twitter.com/oliyoung/statu…

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@jpwarren Well there’s not, you see, and that’s the problem.

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You do and you clean it up yourself. twitter.com/garthk/status/…

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As an aside, moving everything from one MacBook Pro to another, and back again, is a worthwhile check that my backups actually work.

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@elronxenu So far today I have no data points in that regard, which I’m taking as a good sign.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to elronxenu

Thu plan: Migrate back to my MacBook Pro (now); sausages, chores and planning while that’s happening; afternoon TBA; quiet evening.

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I assume it’s another of Gwyneth Paltrow’s projects. twitter.com/franksting/sta…

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@jeamland I had not been made aware of this. I’ll save it for later. I have seen the original, of course. Obviously.

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@jpwarren Mind you, being provided with an Adult Hedgehog Onesie Bomber incident makes it all very, very easy.

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@jpwarren Oh thank you. The trick, it seems, is to just turn my tweets into a script. Twitter is the first draft of history.

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@jonoabroad @HumansOfThis Thank you. It was a fun conversation. It’s triggered a couple of ideas for my own podcasts.

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@jonoabroad Yeah. And there’s a lot of complexity behind that simple statement.

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bhakthi Or the environment twitter.com/workmanalice/s…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:07 AM, May 5th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

I MUST GIVE THIS A TRY BECAUSE I LIKE TOTALLY AWESOME THINGS. twitter.com/erinrileyau/st…

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@GenKnoxx As @oberonsghost reminds me, tweetdeck.twitter.com is still working though, and it’s exactly the same as the app.

via TweetDeck in reply to GenKnoxx

Oh yeah, so there is. And the TweetDeck app is just a wrapper around that anyway. twitter.com/oberonsghost/s…

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Using Twitter’s web interface, like an animal. How do these people even live?

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Me at @zdnetaustralia Wed: “Watch out for the cyber charlatans, Australia” zdnet.com/article/watch-… It contains a premonition of seagulls.

via Twitter Web Client

Thu plan, draft: Sausages; migrate back to my MacBook Pro; chores and planning while that’s happening; afternoon TBA; quiet evening.

via Twitter Web Client

jturner_ibrs “Bad drivers don’t think they’re bad”

If you run security awareness campaigns, read this now. arstechnica.com/cars/2016/05/d…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:45 AM, May 5th, 2016 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Sure, @jeamland, but I think @Murk_Loar has truly captured the zeitgeist on this one. pic.twitter.com/36QbhTzyux

via Twitter Web Client in reply to jeamland

This is a nice thing to say, @KetanJ0. They’ll be sending The Van any moment now. twitter.com/KetanJ0/status…

via Twitter Web Client

Remember, everyone, Peter Dutton doesn’t want this photo on Twitter. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

via Twitter Web Client

I’m also having this problem with @TweetDeck right now. I’m hoping it will pass. twitter.com/AmeeLDominguez…

via Twitter Web Client

“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, even when visiting Singapore. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST

via Twitter Web Client

Tony Ate… at Eight #67: Tony is hiding a startling surprise for Lee Hsien Loong. (Photo: Edgar Su/Reuterspic.twitter.com/VXzCAHQ4IPIP

via Twitter Web Client

Meanwhile, I wish to repeat that I’ve always liked John Button’s work. twitter.com/mpbowers/statu…

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” will be slightly delayed this morning, because technology. Please try to cope with this difficulty.

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Thursday. It’s fallen over again. Why can’t you do things properly for once? Thursday.

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