Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

May 8th, 2016

Nah I’m over it. Gorn.

via TweetDeck

markhumphries Gogglebox has won a Logie. We’re through the looking glass now, people.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:02 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@ResignInShame Just quietly I’m a bit of a fan of @markhumphries but don’t tell him that.

via TweetDeck in reply to ResignInShame

Since Channel Nine can’t give me satisfaction, I’ll form my reality by following @markhumphries.

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markhumphries Craig McLachlan is nominated tonight for “Most Inexplicable Success”.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:56 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

These useless cunts need to ask themselves, “What would Kerry Packer think?”

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Fuck you, Channel Nine. If you can’t run a halfway decent streaming service then I’m off to bed. I’ll check BuzzFeed in the morning.

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@chrisbrownie @TayDiscus IT’S NOT REALITY TV (BAH!) IT’S THE GODDAM LOGIES.

via TweetDeck in reply to chrisbrownie

@TayDiscus Ah no, Ms Swift, I took a photo with my phone ‘cos it was in my hand and I was SO ANGRY.

via TweetDeck in reply to TayDiscus

Yeah, Channel Nine’ capacity planning for 9now is shit. They’re like the Click Frenzy of television. Hilarious.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Still, this fits with my long-standing theory that since about 2010 Channel Nine is only watched by old blokes in pubs.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Well done Channel Nine. I’m on a 4G connection which streams everything else OK, but with 9now I can’t get past initial buffering.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

This is hilarious, Channel Nine. It just doesn’t fuckin’ work! pic.twitter.com/ughvLqkbUH

via Twitter for iPhone

So does it do anything other than buffer? pic.twitter.com/MSL7sPffg5

via Twitter for iPhone

OK, where’s the live =stream so I can watch the denouement?

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Returning to Bunjaree, with a taxi driver who’s never been there before. instagram.com/p/BFJPPPOiFgt/

via Instagram

I am attempting to leave the pub, but waiting for the taxi on a wet Sunday night is part of the ritual.

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Colvinius A not-very-exclusive club. twitter.com/rickeyre/statu…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 9:09 PM, May 8th, 2016 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Keep your sordid sex life out of this, @paulkidd! twitter.com/paulkidd/statu…

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Did he just thank Joan Sutherland?

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LeeLinChinSBS Congratulations to Waleed, as a newsreader I respect the hell out of you. As a narcissist I will bathe in your blood.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:58 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

markhumphries What’s Lauren Jackson doing at the Logies? She’s too talented to be there.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:55 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Waleed Aly wins Best Presenter.

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@PointZeroOne I can’t go past this large class. It and the meds don’t play nice together.

via TweetDeck in reply to PointZeroOne

Good God, it’s not even 2100 AEST yet.

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“Back-slapping narcissistic drug-addled pervert,” I think you mean. twitter.com/paulkidd/statu…

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msmegwatson the will never get better than this pic.twitter.com/mEE5UBBwV2

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:39 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

The Elder Maguire realises that his powers have passed to the Younger, and his time will soon be over. twitter.com/aJoeMcKenzie/s…

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“You’ve got a couple of pineapples coming your way, mate,” says some random tradie in a tuxedo.

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AntonEnus “It’s about time.” @LeeLinChinSBS telling it like it is as @SBS gets first ever Gold Logie nomination. pic.twitter.com/9reLt1X1uA

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:36 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

I hope the @crikey_news crew is doing what they did last year and dusting the bathrooms for cocaine residue.

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MolksTVTalk This is the chilled, “medicated” Essie Davis. ENJOY!

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:31 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Shane Jacobson tries a humorous interview with Lee Lin Chin. She’s uncomfortable. Her answer?
“I think it’s time to stop the jokes.”

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NeilMcMahon musical interludes continue their six-decade search for a point.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:27 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

And he seems to be having trouble with the earpiece. That wouldn’t be fun. twitter.com/MolksTVTalk/st…

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OH: “Fuck off, Conrad.” Oh alright, it was me.

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@lifelovehateooo @JaneCaro See, I’d call that “a literary reference” or a callback. YMMV, of course.

via TweetDeck in reply to lifelovehateooo

@lifelovehateooo @JaneCaro Do feel free to pop through your list of topics not suitable for humour, so I can ignore it at my leisure.

via TweetDeck in reply to lifelovehateooo

JAZZ TWEMLOW HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF AUSTRALIA’S NIGHT OF NIGHTS. twitter.com/JazzTwemlow/st…

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It’s been years since I’ve had sex with a Home & Away star.

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Micallef calls the room a mob of “backslapping narcissistic drug-addled perverts”, refuses , keeps trophy as “symbol of defiance”.

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Micallef wins Most Outstanding Comedy. I am OK with this.

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@MolksTVTalk That is also the view of the at The Grand View, Wentworth Falls.

via TweetDeck in reply to MolksTVTalk

Tony Ate… at Eight #70: Tony salivates at the mere thought of yet another bacon roll. (Photo: Ryan Pierse/Gettypic.twitter.com/kfVlDwi1dydy

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth. Hot, greasy things. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST.

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Important message for people at the . twitter.com/SnarkyPlatypus…

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As one bloke notes, “I wouldn’t be watching this if I was at home, but here we are.”

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The election has been called, but I’ll be continuing with “Tony Ate… at Eight” since I’ve already scheduled them for the next week.

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“Still to come, a cavalcade of stars, including Rebecca Gibney, Eddie Maguire…” Lulwutes

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OH: “That Josh Thomas bloke is a skinny little poof. Don’t get me wrong. He’s very funny. But he’s still a skinny poof.”

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One bloke nods. “The others are just outside having a ciggie,” I protest.
Barman turns volume back up. “You’re all fuckin” idiots.”

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Young barman comes in, turns down the TV volume. “No no no, we’re watching that,” I cry.
“You’re taking the piss,” he says.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

OH: “If Lee Lin Chin wins the Gold, I think half the people in that room will resign.”

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The older barman was wandered in from the other bar and his expression is one of utter disbelief that we’re watching the .

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OH, re Dave Hughes: “AU humorists are a protected species. Once they’re on the inside they’re deemed to be funny. Like Adam Hills.”

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OH: “We’d do well with Delta on the piano up here and Dannii singing.”
“I think that’s out of our budget.”

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OH: “Christ, they’ve all been to the dentist, haven’t they. Sonia Kruger? She looks like the piano player from The Muppets.”

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@SnarkyPlatypus I’m trying to convince one guy to record his oral history of working in a bank and a bar in Kings Cross back in the day.

via TweetDeck in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@SnarkyPlatypus The FrontBarOldBlokeWisdom at The Grand View knows many things.

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A similar sentiment was expressed by the FrontBarOldBlokeWisdom at The Grand View, but less politely. twitter.com/MolksTVTalk/st…

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Good God. Watching the with the FrontBarOldBlokeWisdom at The Grand View. This will not end well.

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TomCBallard Any Channel 9 doesn’t win will be abducted by the 60 Minutes crew.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:17 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

OH: “Delta Goodram? She used to plan the piano at the Winston Hills Hotel.”

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What could possibly go wrong… twitter.com/abciview/statu…

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NYorksPolice Driving in North Yorkshire on this beautiful day? Take longer to look for motorbikes 🏍🏍🏍 RT when you spot the biker: pic.twitter.com/0QmmroSELt

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 7:04 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@ClintonDucas Godammit now I want borsht and vodka.

via TweetDeck in reply to ClintonDucas

“Things just catch fire sometimes.” twitter.com/developerjack/…

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“We do have rubbish bis,” he complains. Fair point.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

A bloke who does rubbish clean-up at football grounds just said that this week he found eight full disposable nappies in the stands.

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Wait no. There IS one guy in the front bar younger than me. He just looks older than me.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

tashlee Shut everything down. @LeeLinChinSBS has arrived at the pic.twitter.com/n7yLKgz0OY

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:45 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

And the right of reply, “Talking Vote Compass on ABC @666canberra” (Aug 2013) stilgherrian.com/conversations/…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Me from Aug 2013: “Yes, Senator Abetz, ABC’s Vote Compass is indeed Orwellian” zdnet.com/article/yes-se…

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glengyron If you don’t vote according to Vote Compass you grandmother dies.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:42 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

As usual at this time, I’m the youngest person in the front bar.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Those goddam freedom-hating people of Austin. twitter.com/FRANCE24/statu…

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@SnarkyPlatypus It’s a village. Everyone has a reputation.

via TweetDeck in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Younger barman arrives for his 6pm shift. First thing he says, straight to me: “You’re not going to cause any trouble, are you.” FFS.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

I have been in the front bar of The Grand View for five minutes and already we’re having an argument. It’ll be a looooong 55 days.

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@benmcginnes Yeah we’re pretty much stuck with it. It’s part of the political and media discourse, and the punters more or less know it.

via TweetDeck in reply to benmcginnes

@WulfKhan Indeed. Any big business thinking they haven’t been “targeted” (whatever that means) is deluded.

via TweetDeck in reply to WulfKhan

@OaaSvc @christopherneal @R_Chirgwin @SmurfingBeer Sure, I can easily find an office or apartment with big fat internets. Options, options.

via TweetDeck in reply to OaaSvc

It’s hilarious headlines like this which make commenting on cybersecurity, as it’s called now, so much fun. twitter.com/Selyst/status/…

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I also note that @spreaker Studio now includes Skype integration for taking talkback calls. Hmmm…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

I think I’ve found my key theme for any election media I might do, like “The 9pm Edict”: Slow down and get outside the goddam bubble.

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I spoke to some tradies the day after Turnbull became PM. Smart guys, but this was the first they’d even heard that Abbott was under threat.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Ah, yes, the idiocy of rolling political news. Hardly anyone is home from their Sunday out yet. twitter.com/thetowncrier/s…

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For the gentlemen followers who just mentioned this chap, there is Keith Floyd’s “Floyd On Oz” (BBC, 1991) youtube.com/watch?v=zU3OTJ…

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@oldozgeek Admittedly the redoubtable @Davidramli is a powerful member of that list, but yeah, there are some others worth following.

via TweetDeck in reply to oldozgeek

I will not go down the @Scarfolk rabbit-hole. I will not go down the @Scarfolk rabbit-hole. I will not go down the @Scarfolk rabbit-hole.

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GrogsGamut How on earth did Tone fail with such advice ready at hand?? twitter.com/CroweDM/status…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:14 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Scarfolk NEW! 1970s childcare books for unauthorised parents. Excerpts here: scarfolk.blogspot.com/2016/05/diy-ch… pic.twitter.com/BEiVzezyS6

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:13 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

Sun plan, remainder: Map out the weeks ahead over Sunday dinner at the pub, listening in to the old blokes’ wisdom; Weekly Wrap.

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ChrisDotWeb Overheard in the Newsroom: “Fun Fact, my purse holds two bottles of wine. ” - @KatieRainsWBTV

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:12 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@SnarkyPlatypus It Has. And Everything Is Exactly As You Would Expect It To Be.

via TweetDeck in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

ThereWillBeGin CHANGING A DUVET COVER 101

Step:27
Try not to panic; you can survive inside a duvet cover for 3 days. Focus on slowing down your breathing.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:08 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

mattdpearce Holy moly, this quote from a top Obama official. washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/styl… pic.twitter.com/XZmybh8Yqc

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:06 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

MarkDiStef Beautiful shot by AAP’s @cochl pic.twitter.com/aKStsqMVXs

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:03 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@deemadigan 200,000 “new” jobs, maybe. And how many “old” jobs disappear? That’s why these never add up.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to deemadigan

But with those caveats, here’s that handy Twitter list again, from @BartonDeakin bartondeakin.com/wp-content/upl… (PDF)

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

This is my favourite bit though. Under “Communications”, since everything is listed by government portfolio. pic.twitter.com/oLzN3g2Az3

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

For example, the only journos for Innovation, Industry, Science, and Digital are all from the AFR. They’re good, but only one perspective.

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A useful guide indeed, tho heavily biased to usual-suspect big-masthead journalists. Needs less potato, more spice. twitter.com/DAlexanderBD/s…

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Or if I just take a split of the broadcast audio anyway. Ways and means. @christopherneal @R_Chirgwin @SmurfingBeer

via TweetDeck in reply to christopherneal

These are all options, @christopherneal @R_Chirgwin @SmurfingBeer. I’ll ponder overnight. Live can work if I have lower-latency internets.

via TweetDeck in reply to christopherneal

Well @R_Chirgwin @SmurfingBeer, I’d been thinking of doing at as two Public House Forum episodes of “The 9pm Edict”. That’s still an option.

via TweetDeck in reply to R_Chirgwin

@SmurfingBeer Why thank you. I’ll be putting some thought into that this evening. I’m just now deciding where that will take place.

via TweetDeck in reply to SmurfingBeer

Well, there’s also the option of re-streamng the video with a different audio mix, but then there are copyright matters. @SmurfingBeer

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

… which is why you can do it with broadcast media but not online@SmurfingBeerer

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

The problem with trying to stream audio programs during live TV, @SmurfingBeer, is that the audio s buffered 30 to 40 seconds…

via TweetDeck in reply to SmurfingBeer

Also from the Liberal Party, “We need to bring back the Australian Building and Construction Commission [ABCC]” youtube.com/watch?v=AOBWZ7…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

“Our Plan for a Strong New Economy”, the first [?] Liberal Party election TVC? youtube.com/watch?v=BRYERU…

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NewtonMark So everything @ScottMorrisonMP said (and continues to say) is like leaves on a stream…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 2:58 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

NewtonMark Remember, kids: Budget Bill introduced this week did not pass the Parliament. Now it’s prorogued, so it never will. aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 2:58 PM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

There is much to be said for Polytics’ wisdom from last time on staying sane. twitter.com/GordonGraham/s…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

I’m wondering what I should do with / for / to the election campaign, if anything. Two episodes of “The 9pm Edict” are due, if nothing else.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Yeah, @PeterWJHarrigan, I was wondering whether to do this gag. I chose not to. I think I chose correctly. twitter.com/PeterWJHarriga…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

I have never had a more exciting time than I will for the next 55 days. pic.twitter.com/bRxg6fwG9x

via Twitter for iPhone

@rbersten The ABC’s guide generally uses AEC data, which comes from candidate nomination forms.

via TweetDeck in reply to rbersten

I must’ve really needed that nap.

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“How should Australia respond to China’s maritime territorial ambitions?”
“The oceans are important. Dolphins are our friends.”

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@glengyron Well they can’t even organise someone to do that, then I certainly don’t want them running the country.

via TweetDeck in reply to glengyron

BobGrrl Awwww. Thanks Facebook. You know just how to entertain me..pic.twitter.com/DawLOknpNaNa

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 10:35 AM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@BundyB I choose to stop thinking about this now.

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So you’re suggesting that we interact with our politicians on Snapchat? twitter.com/PointZeroOne/s…

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Still, it’s the NSW Greens. They’re about as useful as a fishnet franger.

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Why would a politician run their site on Facebook and not their own infrastructure? Facebook gets the metrics, not you.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

There’s bound to be some other dross nominating for Macquarie, but they’re the choices so far. Sigh. Maybe I should move house.

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The Greens’ candidate for Macquarie is Terry Morgan, but I have to sell out to Zuckerberg to find out more. pic.twitter.com/90lZAlNzg6

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Labor’s candidate for Macquarie is Susan Templeton. Her website is a bit… sparsesusantempleman.com.auJG

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Macquarie is on a margin of 4.5%, so maybe I’ll get an MP more useful than @LouiseMarkusMP. Like… oh… a labrador. Or a sea cucumber.

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As forecast, the rain is coming in from the west. This pleases me. pic.twitter.com/Te7ykcW4nn

via Twitter for iPhone

I, for example, own “cyber”, which was bought for me by @NewtonMark. @ownaword pic.twitter.com/KROhSO4EpD

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

This is excellent stuff, and more of you should go buy a word at @ownaword. It’s a good cause. twitter.com/davispg/status…

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@garystark There is no such thing as a burrito.

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And one of him needs to tidy up that desk. twitter.com/murpharoo/stat…

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Sun plan: A lazy day, though I may watch some election news, so there may be tweets; sketch out the coming week; Weekly Wrap.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Due to eating far too much for breakfast, and a generally high level of CBF, I now know which plan to select for the day.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

benpobjie Oh my god look at his face. He has his hand in an orifice and he’s delighted twitter.com/dobes/status/7…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 9:46 AM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

I see @AntonyGreenABC’s Candidates A-Z and Electorates A-Z are now live. It’s like the Christmas trees going up. abc.net.au/news/federal-e…

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dobes @stilgherrian I have seen too much pic.twitter.com/klpwmyXroH

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:43 AM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

It means you should seek medical advice, @dobes, because this is way out of my league. Do not reveal OPERATION CYBERPLUKA.

via TweetDeck in reply to dobes

BuzzFeedOzPol POLL: Should Chris Bowen grow back his beard? buzzfeed.com/markdistefano/… pic.twitter.com/9udQxOCJE2

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:28 AM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@oberonsghost @BuzzFeedOzPol I’m not sure. Should we give him a call?

via TweetDeck in reply to oberonsghost

“Mum, we’re arranged something really special this year.” TV is wheeled into the dining room. “It’s Daddy Malcolm!” pic.twitter.com/HNpf9MgpHH

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Because men who don’t shave aren’t Aussies? I guess they might be terrorists. Or even worse, hipsters. twitter.com/BuzzFeedOzPol/…

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GreenJ Coming up on @RNSundayExtra, @firstdogonmoon IS Peter Dutton … 9.50 pic.twitter.com/NXeOeQSGJ5

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:59 AM, May 8th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

What I will say is that Ms Credlin has written a great many words, and arranged them quite neatly into sentences and paragraphs.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Should you wish to read Peta Credlin’s inaugural column for @dailytelegraph..dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/p…Q0 It contains much unsolicited advice.

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Thanks, @arcadiagt5. If nothing else, it should give most people even more cause to celebrate that special relationship. To their health!

via TweetDeck in reply to arcadiagt5

I think there’s an ointment for it now though. twitter.com/leoniedoyle/st…

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Just quietly, remember that for some mothers or offspring, Mothers Day isn’t necessarily a time of joyous celebration. Temper generalities.

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If the Australian federal election is called today, I hope it’s called Shirley.

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I am, of course, an idiot for assuming that.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

I’ll assume you’re smart enough to convert UTC to your local time, and to know not to stare into the Sun.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Australia etc win spin past Monday’s Transit of Mercury, but here’s timing for the rest. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transit_o… pic.twitter.com/1QaoV4DTGF

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@davispg There’s still a little patchy smoke where I am, but it’s not at ground level, and the drizzle seems to be sorting that out.

via TweetDeck in reply to davispg

@davispg For Sydney, anyway. The upper Blue Mountains seems to have cleared substantially, at least compared with yesterday.

via TweetDeck in reply to davispg

“Tony Ate… at Eight” is a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth. Hot, greasy things. 0800 AEST, repeated 2000 AEST.

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Tony Ate… at Eight #70: Tony salivates at the mere thought of yet another bacon roll. (Photo: Ryan Pierse/Gettypic.twitter.com/XKrSIUjihhhh

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Excellent, a smattering of drizzle is coming through earlier than the forecast rain. This’ll improve air quality. pic.twitter.com/lccV7D0fzU

via Twitter for iPhone

Sun plan, draft: A lazy morning; Sunday lunch (either kangaroo in, or out with a little shopping); sketch out the coming week; Weekly Wrap.

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@riskybusiness @a_profligate @garthk Lovely. I’ll add it to my listening list.

via TweetDeck in reply to riskybusiness

@a_profligate @riskybusiness @garthk Well, Sir, that’s excellent to know, thank you.

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The smoke has largely cleared from @bunjaree’s skies, which means that emerging into the outside world can be part of today’s plan.

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Sunday. Three of the animals are taller than you. Can you guess which ones? Hmmm? No of course They won’t let you out of the box. Sunday.

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