That’s enough.
@oldozgeek Hey, they speak English (after a fashion) and can pay the $35 for certification in holding the sign.
@poisontofu This, apparently. twitter.com/oldozgeek/stat…
@rovingrob No look we already have vehicles with cargo space.
@rovingrob I’ll look at that later but I’m not convinced.
I think about half the Irish diaspora is currently working as traffic controllers on George Street.
@fozmeadows @DNAofMotorsport I like “shoeshark”.
aptronym Trigger warning. Brandis on 730.
A woman I shared house with rode a Ducati Desmo 650, and a radio presenter I produced had a Ferrari GTV. There are rules about these things.
I bet you didn’t know I had Italian automotive engineering feels.
Tosser. And camouflage? Gimme a break. The thing’s loud, moving fast, and pumping out so much infra-red you could fry bacon on it.
Seriously, a Lamborghini Huracan and you use it for cargo? If you can afford a fuckin’ Lamborghini, buy a damn snowboard when you get there.
@djackmanson You’re not helping.
This is also only the 8th most stupid thing I’ve seen today. twitter.com/DNAofMotorspor…
mikko :q
:q!
:cq
:qa
:wq goddamit twitter.com/climagic/statu…
Definitely.
Last one, and then the tram.
If they’re Nomadic Thinkers, why do they need a fixed “co-working space”? (Also, isn’t that just a wank-word for “office”?)
@Spikesaurus It’s remarkably cold and calm, actually. More serial killer than axe murderer.
MarkDiStef Typical BuzzFeed. pic.twitter.com/6720RBgnuD
jturner_ibrs Like Uber but for taxis
And The Media™ parrots all the words want a cracker would you like a lovely cracker oh just fuck off.
But hey, if we call it “on-demand” it’ll sound all modern (well, it’ll sound 1990s IBM) and at least appear like Teh F00ture.
Sydney, where shit-awful traffic jams mean buses are never on time. Solution: Drop any attempt to deal with it. twitter.com/abcnewsSydney/…
@NewtonMark Well not for myself, obviously.
The whole concept is a con. “On-demand buses”? How many extra will appear when they’re all packed at 0800?
What shits me is that people are swallowing this bullshit. What’s the metric for success? twitter.com/NewtonMark/sta…
pixelatedboat We’re a week away from a negotiator telling Bill Mitchell “you don’t want to do this, think of your family”
Markfergusonuk Can anyone at @MailOnline tell me where to buy one of these cameras that only photographs foreigners?
pic.twitter.com/1kKJ2Voxva
I think this is an out-take from Red Dwarf. twitter.com/Colvinius/stat…
Just checking, @guardianstyle, “careered” for “careened” is good? (I know this is One Of Those Things.) twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
In which @murpharoo attempts to explain “the Bob Day and Rod Culleton show”. theguardian.com/australia-news…
@JanJoostBouwman This is an adequate start.
I just got grief for suggesting the only Thai words you need to know are tub waan and ya baa.
ICYMI earlier, the big sook from Australia’s short-term money-lenders. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Have you got a photo of the turtle? twitter.com/702sydney/stat…
What could possibly go wrong? pic.twitter.com/PbR1625xwG
Getting grief from The Chef Who Wants To Kill Me and his staff.
ตับหวาน.
snaxolotl Was talking to my doctor about immunisations and barely heard what he said because I spotted a giant box with VIKING SPECULUM written in it
@dfpiii You know it makes sense.
@dobes I’ll save that for when I’m home. I’m in the corner right now and need a drink.
@dobes If only it was.
@dobes Oh I’ve just started down this rabbit hole. larryhannigan.com/VOC.htm
@dobes There is just so much wonder and glory in the world this week.
OrkneyLibrary BREAKING NEWS: We have found that book about lampshades that we couldn’t find the other day.
Please RT
jamesmassola That Rod Culleton presser was one of the most extraordinary things I’ve seen. And I’ve been to Bob Katter pressers that lasted half an hour
Colvinius “I’m not here to be cross examined by the media.”
(It’s a press conference.) twitter.com/lisazdavies/st…
jrhennessy Possible WA One Nation ticket replacements: a Chiko roll, a printout of the Wikipedia page for Agenda 21, Malcolm Roberts’ husky son
JohnJohnsonson Based on what I’m seeing, it’s safe to assume the Liberals will make Malcolm Roberts prime minister by Christmas.
Well this is a fantastic worldview. twitter.com/AussieMum4TRUM…
“The effluxion of time,” I believe the lawyers put it. twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
@joshgnosis @jdub Well it is. It’s certainly not my fault.
Rule 34, though I haven’t seen this one. twitter.com/misskylie77/st…
Yeah nah. twitter.com/KJBar/status/7…
“A quagmire of incompetence: the true story of the really not very good at all Turnbull government” @firstdogonmoon theguardian.com/commentisfree/…
dobes Does everyone know who is the chief justice of the High Court?
That’s right, Charlie the Wonder Dog
@SnarkyPlatypus It is not for me to ponder the Crown Prince’s personal choices in these matters.
“Thailand prepares for crown prince to be named as king on 1 December” theguardian.com/world/2016/nov…
AGENDA21.
@FakeDanTosello Yeah that tends to be a toxic combination. In the US the story usually ends with rent boys in an airport bathroom.
I have no idea what this is about, but I’m happy to go with it. twitter.com/jeamland/statu…
@FakeDanTosello You clearly know things that I don’t. Or something.
In working hours? Or on weekends? twitter.com/davispg/status…
SwiftOnSecurity The Matrix is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. But when youre inside, you look around what do you see? Busin..twitter.com/i/web/status/7…dR
joshgnosis ICYMI: government acted against advice in 2014 to let Bob Day have his choice of electorate office…twitter.com/i/web/status/7…J6
@FakeDanTosello Perhaps, but he is so not my type. And I’m fresh out of rubber gloves and disinfectant.
@FakeDanTosello This all does get so very complicated so very quickly.
Well this helps make up for a busy weekend. pic.twitter.com/bnp2XEOEwI
Wandering to the corner for a glass of Riesling.
@NewtonMark @BernardKeane True, the day is still young, and he’s going on 7.30 tonight.
Fair enough. pic.twitter.com/qPs3vtAOi5
Maybe a double dissolution would sort this out.
I do like @BernardKeane describing something today as “magically, not George Brandis’ fault “.
@jonoabroad @joshgnosis When he worked for @zdnetaustralia but that’s a while ago now.
I wonder whether the High Court does bulk discounts.
Has anyone noticed how the Senate started falling apart as soon as @joshgnosis moved to Canberra?
ClickHole Hope For The GOP: A Nude Paul Ryan Has Just Emerged From An Ayahuasca Tent With Visions Of A New Republican Party..twitter.com/i/web/status/7…rg
Herewith, the latest Soapygram. #anotheronebitesthedust pic.twitter.com/1LbAfXn6gQ
@spottytwit @IanSams I wasn’t planning to take it that far, but hey sure.
@acaderama Bugger.
“To lose one Senator is unfortunate…”
@auspost It’s more @NewtonMark who needs to know, but thanks for the heads up.
Someone should call a plumber. twitter.com/IanSams/status…
Pants off! twitter.com/skwashd/status…
@bigbadave Exactly.
@iain_chalmers @jeamland These days I take what I can get.
@bigbadave This is not as good as I was hoping it would be.
derridalicious fuck you pic.twitter.com/ezlxZo08xt
I’m catching the team into the Sydney CBD because why not.
@bigbadave I have no idea what this means.
I was just thinking about where I want to work this afternoon until I realised that I don’t want to work this afternoon.
“Gina Rinehart euthanised after Melbourne Cup fall” chaser.com.au/2016/gina-rine…
The National Party has struggled with this question for years. twitter.com/ABChealthonlin…
@shiftkey @phonakins I’m going to be nice to Giant Dwarf, though, because I might want to be on their podcast one day.
MacCocktail Special Mowing Unit… pic.twitter.com/gAr2YobqAo
@MoaniePandium @stevelord I could also stick needles into my eyes, but I’m not going to do that either.
On the other hand, I have a litre of vodka.
This looks like it will be interesting tomorrow night in Sydney and I might even go if I can find a suitably tragic..twitter.com/i/web/status/7…0X
shiftkey it’s just like christmas, except you don’t want to open your present twitter.com/bagder/status/…
cjlambert #FF @tubapocalypse —I know it’s not Friday but Bono isn’t woman so just go with it
@NewtonMark Another big scam is @auspost postbox rent. Tiny weeny piece of real estate, and the don’t deliver the email to your home.
dobes I think New South Wales is a somewhat silly name, but New South Korea is not a better choice. twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
Overall this is a high-grade sook, and I find it very funny. pic.twitter.com/2hb0pHMPc4
Lenders charging really high interest rates thinks telling people the rate is “confusing, misleading and deceptive”..twitter.com/i/web/status/7…vB
juhasaarinen Well, strewth. pic.twitter.com/mE5j1OcenE
The tradie place is out of steak for sandwiches ‘cos a @SydneyWaterNews crew working nearby had THREE STEAK SANDWICHES EACH for breakfast.
@thegrugq_ebooks @SwiftOnSecurity You really aren’t that important.
Well indeed. twitter.com/juhasaarinen/s…
That’s not a lounge, that’s a detention suite. twitter.com/juhasaarinen/s…
That’ll be a new cause of car crashes, won’t it. Despair.
Mind you, Coors Light. The car should really have driven itself into the sea.
The joke is going to wear out very quickly, isn’t it. twitter.com/SenatorMRobert…
The car has its priorities sorted out. twitter.com/robwhisman/sta…
But first, a steak sandwich from the little tradie-oriented place down the road, because I didn’t have one the other day and they’re nice.
Wed plan: Slow start (done); administrivia (soon); scheduling; cyber research; bin night. This is not very exciting, but it fits my mood.
“Innocent Computer Forced to Sift Through Anthony Weiner’s Emails” nymag.com/daily/intellig…
NewtonMark I’m quite partial to the odd occasional cream bun.
Can you all please stop hacking all the things so I can catch up on my reading.
Colvinius SMH Liveblog on the Bob Day question. smh.com.au/federal-politi…
projectgus Full points for the Bondi Hipsters’ response to the bros-only would-be coworking space using their photo: facebook.com/BondiHipsters/…
Yay soup! twitter.com/jeamland/statu…
JohnBarronUSA I can see it. pic.twitter.com/Ha8wxdMnwk
mark_travers Good job Sophie was first on the scene when Gina fell. You can’t buy experience pic.twitter.com/mVaYZVstW2
Great advice. twitter.com/BlogsofWar/sta…
TimDuffy It’s obvious email isn’t secure. The only truly private communication is stuff you say towards the end of a very long podcast.
mattblaze It’s no longer National Cybersecurity Awareness Month. You can go back to opening random email attachments now.
adamjogrady *shines torch upside face* And then management said they’d heard about this thing called “blockchain”
@jonoabroad Probably. I think I caught it in Melbourne.
@jonoabroad None of the bottle. It remains unopened.
I am unimpressed with the amount of nausea on offer this morning.
glengyron Fair comment. twitter.com/johndunmorelan…
@NewtonMark @SnarkyPlatypus @thewetmale We had a brief conversation about ‘cunt’ in the Public House Forum. Should be up tomorrow night.
Speak for yourself. twitter.com/PaulHenry524/s…
@ApostrophePong @twiddlekins @jrhennessy Hey you just do your loyal duty, OK?
Wed plan, draft: Slow start (in progress); dministrivia; scheduling; cyber research; bin night. Yes, this will be as exciting as it sounds.
@twiddlekins @jrhennessy @ApostrophePong I’m guessing it’s another woman’s fascinator, but I’d rather not think about it any further.
I am adopting this euphemism immediately. twitter.com/nanoview/statu…
Mating rituals of Melbourne. deadspin.com/the-melbourne-… Pics: Michael Dodge/Getty. pic.twitter.com/AlKFRKD7gC
Ah, the Melbourne Cup in some glorious photos! deadspin.com/the-melbourne-… HT @jrhennessy. Ping @ApostrophePong. pic.twitter.com/7FNQHLZaoc
@RachaelHasIdeas Fair point.
KevCorduroy Quit @senatorbobday just sent us this text. Not taking questions. @891adelaide pic.twitter.com/F18qYscZmh
Well this is definitely* the sort of news I want to wake up to. twitter.com/FACTmag/status…
@KompleatKnut At least read Levy’s blog post. This is remarkable stuff.
@jeremyjmitchell True, but when Levy presented at @AISA_National people were gobsmacked at the ambition of this plan and its directness.
Right, I’m off to demotivate some fried rice.
Finally, this is some of the clearest writing about a government policy I’ve ever seen. Should be more of it. ncsc.gov.uk/blog-post/acti… (7/7)
I do like “demotivate our adversaries”. (6/?)
“We’re still going to do things to demotivate our adversaries in ways that only GCHQ can do. That’s euphemistic by design. :-)” (5/?)
UK’s new National Cyber Security Strategy has a Threat-o-Matic powered by Secret Sauce, which is a bit special. (4..twitter.com/i/web/status/7…iM
Blog post by its creator, GCHQ’s Dr Ian Levy. “Active Cyber Defence - tackling cyber attacks on the UK” ncsc.gov.uk/blog-post/acti… (3/?)
I wrote about the UK’s ambitious strategy on 21 Oct. “GCHQ tech leader’s plan to secure an entire country” zdnet.com/article/gchq-t… (2/?)
The UK’s brand new “National Cyber Security Strategy 2016 to 2021” is out. gov.uk/government/pub… (1/?)
@prestontowers Ah, I may have conflated several people’s tweets. I’m still a bit blurry.
@prestontowers Without going into the merits of his decision, High Court, Vardon v O’Loghlin (1907), page 208…twitter.com/i/web/status/7…Iy
They’re called “trigger warnings” because eventually you you want to put the shotgun in your mouth. twitter.com/umairh/status/…
@gattaca Has it got a chip in it? It needs to be a thing we already have, but with Bluetooth and a $495 price tag.
@djshaneday @prestontowers @Wil_Anderson @farrm51 I just quoted the headline, with quote marks. Here’s later info. twitter.com/smurray38/stat…
@MargotSaville I’d never realised that boobs were so complicated. If I spot ‘em I’ll let you know.
Right then. Oh, and apparently all this is only about women. Men, you may continue to have modern, hoiked-up ice-cream scoop boobs.
“The new version is not so much natural, as faux-natural. It may not be hoicked, but it is certainly perky.”
“Look a little close … there is a subtle but significant difference between the 70s boob of the actual 1970s, and the new 70s boob.”
“Bras … that create the once all-important effect of two extra large scoops of ice-cream upholstered by scalloped lace” are out, y’see.
“Breasts piled together like cream buns do not make a subtle statement”, apparently. Not sure how many they mean. theguardian.com/fashion/2016/n…
Sometimes I wonder why I bother.
umairh “Chief political analyst, ABC news” twitter.com/matthewjdowd/s…
Wednesday. Heliotropic, it is, so stand well back. Wednesday.