Oh FFS.
RT @Histreepix: “It used to be a quaint mom & pop business.” Pioneers, Dick & Ann Fakenews, write a story about Big Ben’s conversion to Isl…
shanghaiist Taiwan principal resigns after students dress up as Nazis for high school parade shst.me/efp pic.twitter.com/rxraBoeFKE
BennettArron This time of year, between Christmas and New Year, should be called The Festive Perinium.
RT @nehadk: Netanyahu being investigated for bribery and fraud. Here I was thinking Santa had somehow forgotten me this year.
https://t.c…
RT @Pinboard: Feels like it’s been a while since we last unmasked Satoshi Nakamoto
RT @upulie: This is fine https://t.co/mqw0PYVQOM
And it only goes downhill from here. Trust me on this. https://t.co/KSpI6DSzeK
markhumphries One of Australia’s greatest mysteries. pic.twitter.com/fbWxgHc1iq
RT @davispg: Meanwhile during the Sydney To Hobart yacht race …
HT @Zarathhustra https://t.co/OTWL2YMbtZ
@nehadk I don’t know who either of those people are. Were they in The Bangles?
My God! How deep does this rabbit-hole go? https://t.co/8as9J2yAf3
Well this changes everything.
Wait. Cate Blanchett and Gwyneth Paltrow are different people?
RT @mental_floss: Church Accidentally Prints the Lyrics to Tupac’s ‘Hail Mary’ Instead of the Prayer — https://t.co/Cfa8fK2xTc https://t.co…
@johnthelutheran I’m calling social services.
I meant “over-writtenâ€. I may have been drinking https://t.co/WFTQ77kyie
Hey @RichardHammond I’m just getting some ice cream so there’s your proof.
whet tfw you accidentally invent slavery on christmas day pic.twitter.com/ut3zfFD6QM
RT @darrencauthon: Family member’s tv is bricked by Android malware. #lg wont disclose factory reset. Avoid these “smart tvs” like the plag…
@PSyvret People’s obsessions are weird. I get the thing about muscle cars, tho it’s not my interest. But linking that to sexual ident*£^^<%,
Here’s a point. @RichardHammond deserves an award for turning ice cream into the enemy of masculinity. https://t.co/Ya2MgbrbbD
Yeah so this will end up being worse than when I said “The West Wing” is over-ridden saccharine patriotism isn’t it. Sigh.
Still, it’s hardly surprising that blokes with barely-disguised lust for automotive power have deep-seated sexual insecurities.
Bloke who presented a dipshit TV program by and for homophobic racists in casual homophobia shock. @RichardHammond… https://t.co/2vIBofDtSY
Also, tequila. https://t.co/T5KuuKamK7
nlentern1 Good evening I’m Milo Yiannopolous. Welcome to Frontline. pic.twitter.com/Wg3hjauixE
RT @MatthewDessem: Hey everybody, internet Nazis are helping me revise my résumé! https://t.co/eXPNRstZFA
Oh FFS just set fire to everything and then add more petrol to make sure it all burns properly so absolutely nothing remains.
SwiftOnSecurity real hacking vine.co/v/ej3UW3jKg7q
Pro Tip: If in doubt, add gin.
ClickHole Embarrassing: The U.S. Is Ranked 182nd In The World Alphabetically clckhl.co/aX3XTJe pic.twitter.com/S0JyOCuRw3
This will not end well.
snurb_dot_info Or copyright. RT @Gizmodo: Tech billionaire Mark Cuban still has no idea how tweets work gizmo.do/zoKcCn7 pic.twitter.com/fToH882JMz
So, you people who retweet Donald Trump with added sarcasm? You do know that on 20 Jan he gets the nukes, yeah? #impluseissues
RT @FemaleTexts: That one person that assumes everything you say is about them https://t.co/yhONi8lEOY
RT @miss_shiny: that’s a lot of effort just so you have something to throw in the bin https://t.co/mazlcTDhKK
@KompleatKnut Never said anything about “smithâ€.
That thing where you get half-way through typing a tweet and think “Nah this joke isn’t even working for meâ€.
Make sure to hose her down first. It’s the only way to be sure. https://t.co/LLMnf07iUQ
Media Training 101: Never get photographed with a drink in your hand. https://t.co/N4MKkdXgye
Rohypnol. #savedyouaclick https://t.co/s800XDX0i1
Rhohypnol. #savedyouaclick https://t.co/s800XDX0i1
RT @erkpod: I’m sure #casinomike approves of a NYE celebration at Liverpool that ends at 10pm. What’s the point? https://t.co/p7RHvFgW8f
You you lot can just fuck off n’all. pic.twitter.com/Mv1TIbFzbc
@richardaedy @domknight @realDonaldTrump Well if you’re going to be fisted, and we will be, it’s best not to be too ambitious first time.
And people wonder why I drink.
How demeaning. It’s like putting ads for an auto muffler shop on your Christmas cards. Buy more coal. #coalisamazing
Here’s another part of that dystopia right here. Angry? Get $10 off your first order of #Placidolex, now with fewer… https://t.co/aAsHz5WG7Y
RT @NuclearAnthro: BTW they’re releasing in 2017 a sequel to Bladerunner starring Ryan Gosling so we already know 2017 is going to be worse…
RT @brianonthescene: My friend @martysimpson went to see #RogueOne. His theater got the “blue screen of death” and that sucks but I’m sorry…
xntrik Just because Snapchat filters are “cool” doesn’t mean we need to use them to solve all the world’s problems. *stares at blockchain*
RT @domknight: I can’t look at anything besides the fist… https://t.co/L5BMXPr7Zd
MagicRealismBot You discover that you are a synagogue.
Tuesday. In hindsight, it might have been better to have used both hands. Tuesday.
RT @schillingc: Tip 1: Start a bit lower down than this https://t.co/d5kjJSHXJ3
@jeamland What have I done to deserve this?
realDonaldTrump Merry Christmas and a very, very, very , very Happy New Year to everyone!
RT @PositiveLad: Yes, Bosch, now is the perfect time for our oven to do an over-the-air software update. On Christmas lunchtime.
arwcheek Uhhh my electric toothbrush connects to twitter. cc: @internetofshit pic.twitter.com/u4CUnepmUW
@thegrugq_ebooks @RhiannonShine I agree. A walrus can be very seductive.
@thegrugq_ebooks @RhiannonShine If you’d ever even seen a seal, or a walrus, you wouldn’t say that.
RT @RhiannonShine: A large seal has made its way into suburban Newstead. Tasmania Police, Parks & Wildlife are working to safely remove it.…
@paulkidd Look we all know that turning to you for moral advice is a fool’s errand.
@paulkidd I was just thinking that…
@paulkidd That’s terrible.
@NewtonMark I consider this plan to be adequate.
New blog post: “Weekly Wrap 343: Death and Christmas†https://t.co/R0UDcgvFLB Covers 19 to 25 Dec. https://t.co/lh05K5wVwz
Mon plan, draft: Potter around the house tidying up a few loose ends from before Christmas, with a break for pho.
@munin You’ll just have to deal with that.
Monday. In a very real sense, this is wrong. Monday.
Now playing: alt-J, “The Gospel Of John Hurt†https://t.co/HQNa3Wun1h
stilgherrian Me at the start of 2016 vs me at the end of 2016. pic.twitter.com/GUr8NJsOUR
Related: Me at @zdnetaustralia Wed: “Brandis rushes to release telco metadata for civil proceedings†https://t.co/zh2FZdvPuq
New blog post: “Talking civil use of metadata on ABC @1057Darwin†(7 min audio from Wed) https://t.co/rJDMYdirQn
Well that’s enough.
@dmeeze @BrigadierSlog @michaelneale Fixed.
Fri plan, draft: Replace various dead SSL certs; plan the next few weeks; possibly write for @zdnetaustralia; that’s probably enough.
@dmeeze I did know that, or at least its root cause, and I’m fixing it this morning.
Friday. Whatever your idea is, it’s probably bad. Friday.
Robert___Harris Terrific opening sentence to The Times obituary of Zsa Zsa Gabor pic.twitter.com/LuXPoEMQaO
@scottridley Oh bugger I knew there was something I needed to do this afternoon. Thanks for the reminder.
@munin That too.
It’s a Scottish terrier chasing a ball. https://t.co/gWW9ip9KrI
RT @DAlperovitch: I wonder who might have interest in doing that… https://t.co/czK4fWTyG9 https://t.co/hN1HH7iSLB
@clairebbbear @dobes This makes sense, for a number of reasons.
It’s also widely believed this is why there’s so many Daddo brothers.
It’s more or less what the Australian Democrats did to the Liberal Party, and about as successful for everyone involved.
It’s an ancient ritual. If the Left gets fisted by enough people it’ll burst through and shed its old skin in a Ren… https://t.co/xaqd1l3WuT
MagicRealismBot An astronomer writes a poem about every sin that has taken place in Vermont.
@dobes Yeah a cybercanary would have been best.
I will decide what I tweet and the circumstances in which I tweet it.
@zdnetaustralia IT’S ALL ABOUT THE CANARY IT’S ALL ABOUT THE CANARY IT’S ALL ABOUT THE CANARY IT’S ALL ABOUT THE #cyberroocyberroo
RT @ditzkoff: want to feel old? here’s what the ikea monkey looks like now https://t.co/hE4humDsXd
DATA RESEARCH CANARY! https://t.co/7eMUP8yXG4
This tweet is unavailable.
So, in summary, a media person who writes “not sure why†is both wilfully ignorant and lazy. Read their words with this in mind.
And when someone in the media says “not sure why†it means they’ve been too fuckin’ lazy to pick up the phone and find out.
Remember that when someone writes “Not sure why X†it’s a statement about their personal ignorance of the matter, nothing more.
@NewtonMark Yeah I slept in. Thanks. I’ll be fixing it in about an hour.
Yeah I’m a bit disgusted with myself for getting drawn into all this ghoulish and spiteful speculation. This will be the last of it from me.
@purserj @SteveMolk I have no idea. Maybe it is, maybe is isn’t. The three excluded motive leave plenty of others. He says, trying to stop.
@SteveMolk @GrahamY If you accept the concept of “obvious place for suicide†(which I don’t) then that might be one. But hey let’s stop, OK?
@SteveMolk @GrahamY While I think speculation is awful, in the same building is the Veterans and Veterans Family Counselling Service…
Me at @zdnetaustralia Wednesday: “Brandis rushes to release telco metadata for civil proceedings†https://t.co/zh2FZdvPuq
@semibogan Never were truer words said.
@semibogan Well water bears are pretty cool, I grant you.
@semibogan Telomeres. It’s all to do with telomeres, apparently. And healthy living.
@expectproblems Only 1.4 percentage points to a winning score.
Anyway, I too should stop speculating about the Canberra incident. I was hoping to suggest there’s many possibilities apart from politics.
@davispg Nope. Back in Sydney.
@davispg “Peddle”.
Arson, GBH or murder gone wrong by burning early, jealousy, insurance scam, suicide… and that’s just after 30 sec… https://t.co/nofiioHFM8
@mathaiaus I’m guessing some staff are already on holiday so those still on deck are assigned as needed. Or they’re doing follow-the-sun.
Bah. The story is burning van plus burning building plus man in hospital and facts to come. https://t.co/06g2r0CcOI
It’s been a long time since journalists hang around the ports picking up their leads. They just copy and paste tweets now.
What’s the difference between reporting from your home office in Canberra or from your home office in London? We ha… https://t.co/IkQhdt3mJe
RT @KKeneally: Stupid comment. There is Catholic law. It’s called canon law & co-exists with Aus law. Ask any divorced Aus Catholic who wan…
The questions I have here relate to why so many people and news organisations were quick to attribute blame and mot… https://t.co/kGyfZ3H1Kq
Just saw a shop advertising “vegan meat rolls”, but didn’t have time to see if they’re made from real vegan meat. #grainfedlongpork
RT @JoshButler: ACT police confirm ACL van incident “not politically, religiously or ideologically motivated” - 35yo man involved https://t…
@rpy And to you, Sir. I do like the steady stream of little train-geek additions too.
Thu plan: Errands Enmore, Lilyfield, Ashfield; logistics for Feb travel; back repairs, Potts Point; evening TBA, but probably quiet.
@DavidRDHeath @spankee I think I’d have been happy with a correction early up.
@paulkidd I am not, though Yemen does look beautiful.
ADE is Aden. I have never been to Aden.
Bugger. For the last few days I’ve been writing Adelaide Airport as ADE rather than the correct ADL. I feel such a… https://t.co/FgRO5ilhBm
KKeneally Does anyone know if @corybernardi is familiar with the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Just curious.
A bill to rename avocados “slimefruit†and related purposes.
Thu plan, supplemental: There seems to be quite a bit of running around the city in that plan, but that’s the required order of play.
Thu plan, draft: Slow start; errands Enmore, Lilyfield, Ashfield; logistics for Feb travel; back repairs, Potts Point; evening TBA.
RT @CarlPrinetweets: New COIN metric: Weight of beard hair on the floor … https://t.co/mGhAWQtD5v
BlueSpaceCanary Style guide: please do not reference Peter Thiel without mentioning his status as America’s preeminent vampire
TheMediaTweets “Coming up later we have ‘Arm Wrestling With Chas and Dave’, and ‘Youth Hostelling With Chris Eubank’, but first…” pic.twitter.com/g9KCvslqeq
My bank statements are a work of art, thanks to certain people. pic.twitter.com/0MoH5W8KxU
Thursday. Things do seem more complicated than they need to be. Use olive oil. Thursday.
Gorn.
@jonoabroad Only to Ashfield. It’s not that exciting.
@reubenacciano @twiddlekins We shall return to this complex issue another time.
Migrating.
@reubenacciano @twiddlekins I feel like I’ve opened another wormhole…
@megwall6 @zdnetaustralia He has not, although his office has been ordered to consider the FOI application. Many steps to go yet.
Hey @kcarruthers! Check this out! pic.twitter.com/dk19usxCJh
Yeah look I dunno about all this… https://t.co/2wNIFGw1G1
@kcarruthers Have you thought about trying something new? Guns & Roses is pretty good.
@swearyanthony @corduroy It was already like that — that is, on fire — when I got there.
Me at @zdnetaustralia Wednesday: “Brandis rushes to release telco metadata for civil proceedings†https://t.co/zh2FZdvPuq
I agree. I’ve tweeted this a couple of times before, but if you haven’t read it you should. Do it now. https://t.co/S8tqMGdGai
@swearyanthony @corduroy Nothing was on fire, or was at risk of being set on fire.
@smartbrain Spend your $20 wisely. (No, it wasn’t me.)
@VirginAustralia Cheers.
Oh suck it up, Princess. You should get a computer like mine, one with a DELETE button. https://t.co/BqmF6mssH7
Earlier: Sunset. pic.twitter.com/asb0YpFd57
Earlier: The benefits of departing ADE, namely Grant Burge wines. Good call, @VirginAustralia. pic.twitter.com/bv8JrNF9fr
Earlier: How weather works. The ancient fault line of the Fluerieu Peninsula causes just enough uplift for clouds. pic.twitter.com/4BAm55DyRc
Earlier, the Adelaide Airport (ADE) Christmas Tree, which is as old as aviation itself. pic.twitter.com/G04Wf55ti4
It’s complicated.
Look it wasn’t me, although I was involved.
And just to be clear, I wasn’t the one causing the Potential Situation.
He’ll know what I mean, @VirginAustralia.
Thank you @VirginAustralia for another lovely flight. Please thank Nick on VA437 for diplomacy and sensitivity re the Potential Situation…
Touchdown Sydney, and that window is still filthy. instagram.com/p/BORlZKag7nO/
Transmitters off. See you in Sydney.
The view from 30F through a filthy window. The dust is inside the aircraft. instagram.com/p/BORYKYPAXz1/
My sky-chariot awaits. Also, what a lovely evening for flying. pic.twitter.com/W7RsNpE3ot
And… the radio spot is done. I’ll post a recording on my website some time in the next 24 hours.
Here we go…
On hold for ABC @1057Darwin and about to go live.
bradheath About that encrypted iPhone … pic.twitter.com/PRvKKQOCSB
The thing I am talking about on @1057Darwin is “Brandis rushes to release telco metadata for civil proceedings†https://t.co/zh2FZdvPuq
So this radio spot is in less than 20 minutes. Listen at https://t.co/au5jhzQxwN or ABC apps or on old-fashioned br… https://t.co/VhZ2knkPbz
I have been told. pic.twitter.com/iacgMx5kqh
RT @CNETAustralia: Not surprising at all: #thepiratebay is blocked Australia wide… except it really isn’t https://t.co/WZTTmXa2eh https:/…
@bigbadave @NuclearAnthro PC LOAD LETTER.
@petstarr Yep.
RT @NuclearAnthro: Ready or not we’re giving Trump the authority to launch nukes on Jan 20th.
so fuck your metric system, mates! https://…
@NuclearAnthro You need to translate that into units that grown-up nations use.
Me at @zdnetaustralia Friday: “Turnbull’s agile struggle is all glitz and no grunt†https://t.co/5MiuVAHaEA #oink
sfiegerman Twitter’s 2016 in a nutshell. pic.twitter.com/E43vJ8CXrG
OH, bloke at nearby table, on phone: “Yes, but it’s a dry heat.”
lzion Are you shore? pic.twitter.com/xP9tAgGEWX
@KrazyKarl910 How odd.
I’ll be talking about that possible civil use of retained telco data on AB@1057Darwinin at 1650 ACST / 1820 AEDTabc.net.au/darwinOV
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Brandis rushes to release telco metadata for civil proceedings†https://t.co/zh2FZdvPuq
@KrazyKarl910 Hey, you could do worse.
“Australian data re-identification defendants will need to prove their innocenceâ€, writes @dobes https://t.co/ZWWjHVjmro
RT @benln: Meetings in San Francisco 😕 https://t.co/sW2O3l2BoP
ThePoke The Japanese Prime Minister’s Motorcade merges into traffic pic.twitter.com/T6zV0hTd3l
They go through them at a pace don’t they. https://t.co/5TgscyDrIR
@munin Yeah I think @NuclearAnthro is just soft.
RT @stilgherrian: Oh that’s right, there’s a Justin Bieber Christmas album. There’s one good thing about this planet.
xtinehlee This is on the homepage of urban dictionary. pic.twitter.com/py7NPkfLRv
RT @mdkail: Before #DevOps https://t.co/upthj4bYqG
Meanwhile, things continue to be excellent. pic.twitter.com/bW2RGyqnQ6
“A Cabinet minister previously told ‘The New Daily’ Senator Brandis would be considered for a diplomatic posting…†https://t.co/wjmBb0zk37
Reminder: “Malcolm Turnbull ‘more than infuriated’ by Attorney-General George Brandis†(25 Nov) https://t.co/wjmBb0zk37
Gosh. (HT @michaelneale) pic.twitter.com/G5TSwLyFPp