Gorn.
I am too old for this shit.
@NuclearAnthro It’s only 0030 here in the People’s Democratic Republic of California, but yeah.
Yeah whatever I have to be at some terrorism thing at 0800 so yeah I’m gone but odds on it’s rubbish. They all are, right?
Christ it’s after midnight.
@BundyB @iain_chalmers My fuckin’ life is photoshopped.
@erikstripparo I did not know this, but if they’re that desperate for content then go for it, I say.
Yeah whatever. twitter.com/iain_chalmers/…
@NuclearAnthro @Bugcrowd @caseyjohnellis No it was fuckin’ excellent.
I’d like to congratulate @Bugcrowd on putting on a party halfway between a late-1980s rave and a fascist rally. Great work, @caseyjohnellis.
Also, sweating.
So who has two thumbs and just walked all the way up Mason Street like an animal.
I have Hoegaarden.
I’ve managed to avoid most of the #RSAC drinking so far. I suspect tonight that shan’t be possible. Not in the leas..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…Xv
@Steve_Lockstep That and a big government stick.
snurb_dot_info Bit much to hang this whole story on a couple of tweets from an ex-NSA dude, but the sentiment feels about right… ow.ly/UejE30931vI
@DrRhysPockett ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.
@DrRhysPockett It’s the flavour, right?
@bamchenry Agree re all of that. Most folks are trying as hard as they can now, but ISC/SCADA is so huge and so hard.
@bamchenry Sounds about right.
@RuthMCallaghan That’s why they serve alcohol. So much alcohol.
It’s 1630 PT. Next: A beer; 1800 @AustradeUSA Cyber Security Showcase #ozcyber; 2000 @Bugcrowd #MayhemRSA pages.bugcrowd.com/mayhem-at-the-…; death.
@bamchenry I’m trying to reduce my stress levels, Brian. Let’s not go there.

ToyinLies2Girls Lmao dude on Facebook said he been waiting 4 hours for the P to fall so he could sue Walmart pic.twitter.com/c6t6F91dnP
One final point. Set fire to everything and watch it burn to the ground. It’ll save time in the long run. 9/7
Oh, and Item G: You are all arsehats and you’re all pretty much the actual problem here. Sort yourselves out. 8/7
F. It’s a goddam wonder any of us are still alive. (Let’s put all the oxygen on the blockchain.) 7/7
E. Everything is the same as it’s always been. Same tools, same arsehat defender mistakes. Bad guys just get their shit together better. 6/
Item D. Everything will end up full of ransomware, because it’s easy and has a great ROI. And yet having tested backups fixes this. 5/
Twitter just started throwing internal server errors when I tried to thread these tweets, so I’ll continue shortly.
C. It’s all fucked, but nobody gives a fuck. Somehow, though, threat intelligence and machine learning will fix everything. 4/
B. Internet of Things (IoT) security isn’t just fucked, it’s REALLY fucked. It’ll get mush worse before it gets better. 3/
A. People are talking about cyberwar more seriously. Not hand-waving digital Pearl Harbor BS, but potentially-real scenarios. 2/
So, some quick observations from #RSAC so far, at least from my perspective… 1/
@munin @iain_chalmers Those kinda claw things would also be good.
Sitting in the press working room, eating brownies, and watching the world burn. #RSAC
jimsciutto Breaking: FBI NOT expected to pursue charges against #MichaelFlynn regarding phone calls w/Russian Ambassador, reports @evanperez
Nothing to do with me, OK? twitter.com/andria_borba/s…
@KimZetter It me!
@iain_chalmers @munin I think I saw all those pieces being made available this week.
RTYI, @dobes @ashabeeeee. twitter.com/MalwareJake/st…
@munin That is some excellent rendering of the accent, sir.
What is this “hacking” people keep talking about? #RSAC
samsteinhp Wow. People are posing as ICE agents and scamming folks out of money to not be deported ag.ny.gov/press-release/…
@lukehopewell I can see how this would appeal. And they just unbolt, so surely it’s no big deal. Goddam purple drama queens.
Doesn’t he just look like a guy who knows what is and isn’t fun. twitter.com/7NewsSydney/st…
Earlier today a US Dept of Commerce guy said he was “impressed with the Australian hacker cabal”. #RSAC
Why would I do this to the #purpletrain? I’m not even there. twitter.com/joelpmichael/s…
MagicRealismBot A necromancer steals the end of the world and hides it inside a marble universe.

violetblue So many promises. #RSAC pic.twitter.com/9dl4jUeRTb
Let’s just spend a moment thinking about everything that’s happening here. twitter.com/thomrylance/st…
It’s a magic cloaking device! twitter.com/franksting/sta…
@johncarneyau Exactly.
Now on for me: “Mirai and IoT Botnet Analysis” rsaconference.com/events/us17/ag… #RSAC
@twiddlekins I see what you did there.
I have never oiled a snake and wouldn’t even know where to begin.
@NewtonMark Looking at his background, he seems to have a little clue.
@cammackellar Thnks.

_neku Everyone talking about how all these girls look at Trudeau but look at how Trudeau looks at Obama pic.twitter.com/dzvjBZqUnb
@cammackellar I’ve had vowel trouble all week.
Drinking a Diet Dr Peppers. Don’t @ me.

“What is Filtr?” It’s wireless! It has an app! No, wait. kickstarter.com/projects/flter… pic.twitter.com/RZZVxPBAex
Just checking. Cloud scale is bigger than web scale, right? #RSAC
@munin Yes. Yes it is.
20committee After me 2day are:
— Wikileaks
— InfoWars
— GatewayPundit
— Battalions of Kremlin/#MAGA trolls
If only we could determine a connection
ClickHole Ruth Bader Ginsburg Has Been Dead For 3 Months, But Democrats Are Febrezing Her Daily In Hopes That No One Notices..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…ZE
Is this is Dark Web?
Fair enough. twitter.com/reidepstein/st…
@trentyarwood OK then.
@caseyjohnellis @gattaca @Bugcrowd I’ll definitely drop in briefly tonight. I have an 0800 tomorrow on cyber terrorism.
People keep talking about something called “internet”. Is that a thing I should know about? #RSAC
It must be hell when someone holds your pipes ransom. #RSAC twitter.com/mikko/status/8…
Jalopnik Habitual maritime law violator China wants other countries’ ships to sail above sea in its waters..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…iy

mikko The ransomware tube map. Taken from our State of Cyber Security Report: f-secure.com/cyber-security… pic.twitter.com/QuiVDE5b80
iblametom Inside OilRig — Tracking Iran’s Busiest Hacker Crew On Its Global Rampage forbes.com/sites/thomasbr…
@jplonie I think I’ve sen this movie.
Or, you know, not. #RSAC twitter.com/KayaKazmirci/s…
See what I mean? @troyhunt #RSAC twitter.com/MalwareJake/st…
Oh it’s a game show, @troyhunt, and we’re the losers. #RSAC twitter.com/troyhunt/statu…
@kjmci @ashabeeeee @bmn @JonoH @zbendr Correct.
@ashabeeeee @kjmci @bmn @JonoH @zbendr It’s cybering from every orifice here in San Francisco.
“Good morning, America. Today is Wednesday, which means there’s another Yahoo data breach.” #RSAC twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Wait. [Checks calendar.] Didn’t we do this already? twitter.com/AP/status/8319…
Ah, this is a bit introductory for me. Slides like “What is a botnet?” and “What is a DDoS?” New to a bunch of folks in the room tho. #RSAC
ISE’s surveys in 2016 showed the same problems as in 2015. Prediction: IoT security problem will get worse before it gets better. #RSAC
The security flaws are across device types and manufacturers. #RSAC
“The [IoT] security problems really are systemic,” the presenter says, surprising nobody. #RSAC
Now on for me: “Weaponizing IoT” rsaconference.com/events/us17/ag… #RSAC
etherealmind Saving my farts for vendor meetings so we can wrap up on time isn’t so wrong.

SopanDeb This whole answer from Trump, being asked about anti-Semitism in the U.S. Read the whole thing: pic.twitter.com/AblvIC3ulC
sahilkapur In response, POTUS touts his electoral college victory and vows to “stop long-simmering racism and every other thin..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…wM
It’s called a “capability report”, but it’s really a marketing brochure for Australian-made cybers. #RSAC twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
So #RSAC has 45,000 attendees, let’s say 80% male. If you joined all the urinals up, what would the flow be in litres per second?
Australian govt “Cyber Security Industry Capability Report” austrade.gov.au/ArticleDocumen… (PDF) #RSAC
“Australia’s cyber security sector ready to tackle global threats”, say the relevant ministers. trademinister.gov.au/releases/Pages… #polliewaffle #RSAC
@gattaca It’s true. The best bet is some time 1530 to 1800. There’s an Austrade event 1800 to 2000. Of the @Bugcrowd party after that.
@gattaca The lizards don’t count.
@JProkap Goddammit.

spectatorindex Germans who believe US is a trustworthy ally
November, 2016: 59%
February, 2017: 22%
(Infratest Dimap) pic.twitter.com/lafUKQA4ys
@JProkap Pretty much. But bonus points for IoT and blockchain in the same product, right? Add AI for the jackpot.
@bmn @JonoH @kjmci @zbendr I’m here until Sunday evening. It’s a little cloudy today, sure, but I prefer this to the heat.
Oh. The President is doing a presser right now. There’s no way I compete with such comedy gold.
@kjmci @bmn @JonoH @zbendr I agreed on no such thing. Indeed, @ashabeeeee and I are competing on the number of cybers in a single story.
This is one of the reasons I drink. #RSAC twitter.com/Accenture/stat…
“House Homeland Security Chairman: Backdoors would be a ‘huge mistake’”, writes @stephcondoncbs zd.net/2knuhM4 #RSAC
tqbf Really more of a jihad against typography. twitter.com/KFILE/status/8…
lorenzoFB In private 2014 report, Google implicitly accuses hacking group known as “APT28” to be Russian intelligence “GRU.” motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/…
BFriedmanDC People who say “the CIA is not your friend” or “the WH thinks this” or “VA doesn’t care” don’t get how complex and..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…NF
From yesterday, on that digital Geneva Convention idea, which Gary Brown discounted earlier. #RSAC twitter.com/BradSmi/status…
GlennThrush This @Reuters photo of Trump’s Oval Office has an iconic, frozen-life quality, like a Dutch East India Co. portrait nytimes.com/2017/02/14/us/…
@JonoH I have no idea where you’re going with that, so I’ll say “No”.
@JonoH Well, buckets of brown liquid.

The same goes for tanks. #RSAC pic.twitter.com/hHMkxIHxdy
What American coffee lacks in quality is more than made up for in quantity. #RSAC
evankirstel New Type of #Malware Can Lock Power Plant Computers For Ransom motherboard.vice.stfi.re/en_us/article/… #CyberSecurity #RSAC2017..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…Lo
I got a lot of value from that season and will definitely feed that into my continuing writing on the legalities of cyberwar. #RSAC
In Russia, says @orenfalkowitz, the guys doing nation-state hacks in the daytime can use the tools for crime at night. #RSAC
Me from Jun 2015: “Australia seeks rules for ‘peacetime norms’ in cyberspace” zdnet.com/article/austra… Keep seeking, folks. #RSAC
Brown says there’s a difference between international norms, and a treaty that signed and binding. #RSAC
Audience Q: What are the chances of negotiating a digital Geneva Convention? Gary Brown: Zero. @orenfalkowitz disagrees. #RSAC
sobca “bureaucratic troglodytes” love it @orenfalkowitz #rsac
internetsociety What happens if you can exploit a toaster to start a fire? What happens if you do it to 1000 toasters in one city? #BruceSchneier #RSAC
I know my journalism is pretty much a crime. Ask my editors. #RSAC twitter.com/sobca/status/8…
FBISanJuan Twelve Current and Former TSA and Airport Employees Indicted for Smuggling Approximatley 20 Tons of Cocaine: A fe… fbi.gov/contact-us/fie…
From @orenfalkowitz: 1. Achieves the mission; 2. Replaces a traditional military weapon. @RoyKatmor add: Stealthy, stays hidden. #RSAC
Good point from @orenfalkowitz: State-of-the-art cyberweapons isn’t about tech but about opportunity, strategy, organisation. #RSAC
@miss_shiny It was @KimZetter who asked that, not me. And there’s a few hundred witnesses.
MalwareJake “I wouldn’t hire HP to paint asphalt black” - alrighty then… twitter.com/0xMatt/status/…
mthomas304 Clear. Concise. Clean. twitter.com/20committee/st…
Pro Tip: Asking an ex-NSA guy and an Israeli ex-military guy about “flaws in Stuxnet” generates a long silence. #RSAC
This is the session starting just now. Well, one of the many sessions starting now. #RSAC twitter.com/randybales/sta…
Sheldrake Published 67 years ago, and so incredibly prescient. #privacy #ArtificialIntelligence #algorithms @katinamichael..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…wE
Stockholm Syndrome. #RSAC twitter.com/chenxiwang/sta…
quinncy Jill Stein is America’s aunt who took up pottery and won’t shut up about her orgasms since the divorce. twitter.com/DrJillStein/st…
kylegriffin1 It *still* hasn’t even been 4 weeks.

katecrawford Jaw-dropping list of trending stories on the NYT right now pic.twitter.com/Fk756cmlaF
AngryWHStaffer Everyone here is looking to the President in this time of crisis but all he cares about is when gets to go to fucking Mar-a-lago again.
CNN The head of US Special Operations Command says the US government is in “unbelievable turmoil”..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…Qb
jonkudelka @JohnBirmingham my theory is we’re all part of a gay nazi computer simulation
First up for me, at 0900 PT: “Beyond Stuxnet: State of the Art in Cyberwarfare and Weapons” rsaconference.com/events/us17/ag… #RSAC
Wed plan, draft: Another solid day at @RSAConference San Francisco, details TBA; 1800 Australia Cyber Security Showcase. #RSAC
Wednesday. The small length of rope is what makes it extra special. Wednesday.