Except not before saying that if you let TED x anything into your life then you are a burden to humanity.
I’m going away now.
@upulie And not for the first time :
@upulie I think I need to file this under “wrongâ€.
@upulie So wrong.
J’approve. Every night. https://t.co/oAjQxIOC3e
You tell us, Leanne.
Well obviously. pic.twitter.com/NosqSEvYks
[Turns on internet.]
Oh. Really?
[Turns off internet.]
AntonyGreenABC Excerpts from the 1997 House of Reps Committee Report on Sec.44 and its recommendations for a referendum ab.co/2uAp8nN
@bigbadave @SallyRMelb Let’s not go there.
RT @oz_f: Italian citizenship form requires signature of the applicant plus license and passport https://t.co/cnsYTLThAk https://t.co/WkeVZ…
@mukimu My brain hurts.
RT @troyhunt: ATM maker: “Threats are sophisticated”
@L_AGalloway: “I drilled a hole in it and connected to a 16 year old OS”
https://t.c…
@mukimu No you were a dirty hipster before that.
Isn’t an ointment for fungal infections? https://t.co/E17s3EWbQ5
Fisting? https://t.co/q10zHO7vKY
Scottludlam i’m just giving my mum a quick ring
oz_f The Great Australian Thread pic.twitter.com/zIqUkcfZdO
@smartbrain Yeah fires can be handy sometimes.
@smartbrain Oh I’d forgotten about that. But really that was the least of his problems.
RT @R_Chirgwin: I’ll tell them to fuck off. https://t.co/xB67uPt2HG
ccroucher9 This is a hell of a statement. pic.twitter.com/Lsfs7CIDeS
RT @colmcoyne: Dearest Friends; I am a member of Irish Finance Ministry and need your help in transferring a large sum of money… https://…
PaulineHansonOz Due to developments in the ongoing Senate citizenship scandal, I’ll be asking @SenatorMRoberts to expand his requested inquiry -PH 1/3
glengyron Putin could make every Australian politician a Russian citizen tomorrow and fuck us completely. It’s a good rule.
High-profile Kenyan Barack Obama had nothing on this lot.
joshgnosis Very short release about Canavan from the PM. pic.twitter.com/P4kJahvFy0
Pollytics Anyways, Canavan not being qualified because of odd Italian stuff is silly - he shouldn’t be in the Senate because he’s a flat out dickhead
So is anyone in the Australian parliament NOT a citizen of a foreign country?
Rashidajourno “I have become aware that according to the Italian government, I am a citizen of Italy,” Senator Canavan says
I am accepting as fact reports that the boss man has advised I can file tomorrow. [Downs tools.]
RT @benpobjie: The Italian government has informed Australia that it will release Matt Canavan’s citizenship status in return for $45,000 i…
OK, back to the words.
Same. https://t.co/GzsLNVt6L8
@kerwindatu I understand your point, I think, but I’ll be hard to shift on this. Possibly because I should be doing something else.
@vealmince Don’t worry, The Van will be over your way soon enough.
Oh wow, @dobes is going to be so annoyed with me. https://t.co/ElV3q28ezt
@jodiem It’s not safe yet. But yes, a significant decision.
@kerwindatu Yeah I don’t know that many public housing residents really care that much about the middle-class need for symbols.
RT @benpobjie: All children are idiots https://t.co/eiTsiHqcWh
@garystark Irri-gate? @cathywilcox1
RT @Scarfolk: “Scarfolk has been preparing boy scouts for the authoritarian future since 1970” https://t.co/HShoQ7CbA6 #ScarfolkYouth https…
@johnb78 Nearly all the original residents are long since gone.
Don’t get me wrong. Sirius is indeed a fine piece of modernism and should stay, but let’s not bullshit ourselves about the motive.
Hardly. It’s a step towards preserving a fine example of modernist architect so middle-class folk who buy coffee ta… https://t.co/UOWbOC7p9U
RT @KamloopsArchaeo: The Incas who fucking built it. #notlost https://t.co/qo8JltVtrr
@19bk69 My guess: Some data structure has a byte count in it. Change the byte count, append the code, something along those lines.
@ashabeeeee Thank you, but there aren’t any jokes in this one. It’s a straight profile of Chinese cybercrime.
I’m taking advantage of @ashabeeeee working late to file late, because she’s editing me today. I’ll owe her big time.
Oh this is cute. https://t.co/2eJeJ29PaT
Ah, magnets! Is there anything they can’t do? https://t.co/xYkCeiONfE
@DrRhysPockett @franksting I know! Let’s ban all doctors from entering Balmain. Maybe the fuckers collect their own leeches from the canal.
@DrRhysPockett @franksting Maybe the raw milk mob should embrace the past properly. Shit in a bucket and toss it in… https://t.co/yMhlkcQRn6
@28481k A news story for @zdnetaustralia, as is usually my burden.
@simonahac Actually, yes, just use the well-established conventions for news headlines and you won’t go far wrong.
@simonahac Use news headline as an example.
Coal ‘perfect’ for reef health: Jones
@simonahac Same as anywhere else. Quote marks only around their exact words, paraphrase otherwise.
Struggling to concentrate on these words that I’m writing, but I will definitely finish damn story soon.
RT @HeerJeet: If the Jamboree had lasted long enough, Trump would’ve told the scouts stories about snorting coke with models at Studio 54.…
RT @misskylie77: This thread is amazing. And painfully familiar to anyone who had worked retail https://t.co/mLQhYH36t0
Histreepix Albert Einstein explains how he came to lose his keys. 1922. pic.twitter.com/NLt1B38fXe
@MikePresland @OmarjSakr Jesus was all for the beating of the people with the sticks.
@stickymeringue I have no idea…
boring_as_heck these pictures make it look like kushner was just emitting a high-pitched screech for like ten minutes straight pic.twitter.com/O0GpftEhEC
Steve_Lockstep “‘Business Casual’ in Australia means you wear shoes” - @dgwbirch #digitalid
OmarjSakr Still reeling from this lede tbh. pic.twitter.com/043SZLb9Ik
RT @GrogsGamut: “We”? https://t.co/eJHsvj3ajW
@ResignInShame I bring you looooove.
Actually, not Rinehart. Warwick Capper. https://t.co/XcJnTxqmTG
I see those commies over at the OECD are at it again. https://t.co/rOtPVpz8Dr
I hear the old X344 had better fuel consumption. Still, the X352 has a better language processing module. https://t.co/p6H7f52mkT
TheDailyShow The Mooch did his homework. pic.twitter.com/Wku0DF2ovd
Gina Rinehart? https://t.co/XcJnTxqmTG
apocalynds Adult friendship = 2 people saying “I haven’t seen you in forever! We should really hang out more” over and over again until one of you dies
Tue plan: Writing and editing all day, well starting now anyway, breaking for meals as appropriate. And I am starting now.
@cyberheckler I am a bad person.
@johnb78 @NewtonMark @abcnews Well I’ve seen A shallow grave…
@petergaskin814 @PeteLawler I seem to recall that it runs at a massive loss.
@Anthony_Caruana True.
@KetanJ0 But that one is true.
@KetanJ0 Oh that makes sense.
wintnation ah,. so I see you too have an interest in politics
@KetanJ0 So… so how does anyone decide anything?
@DanielOCnr Oh. That’s actually… sensible.
@smidgey I’ve got all their albums.
@DanielOCnr Had you been drinking? Big party weekend?
RT @cestbenet: hi my name is straightguy contractor and this is my wife blondehair interiordesign and this is our hgtv show, gentrification
Assuming you don’t value your dignity, anyway. https://t.co/pXaGYsf8eM
@Beaker @darrenpauli @mikko They’re both great showmen. Fun gig.
@manaz_d Er, that’s a different issue.
@Beaker @darrenpauli @mikko Thank you. I shall watch it when I’m not pretending to work.
I liked the Boy Scouts for many reasons, but the fumbling sodomy was a highlight.
RT @DanEggenWPost: Nearly half of “millennials” (age 18-34 in 2015) are not white, which makes this photo particularly striking. https://t.…
@ashabeeeee All manner of equipment is managed remotely via the 2G network, because these devices run for years, decades.
RT @benvwilkie: RT if you’re a Vatican ninja https://t.co/cdWi8luqP4
I might do some work soon.
wintnation Thanks you to everyone in the region through complacency, ignorance and murky behaviour, which lead to the UN
@darrenpauli @Davidramli We expect $20 discounts off our next phone bills.
@Davidramli @darrenpauli Wow. And it’s probably true, too.
@Davidramli @darrenpauli My recollection is food first, then extended a metaphor. I suppose I could look it up but… https://t.co/wOJpttZfpy
@darrenpauli @Davidramli That’s just a fancy way of saying you threw your food into the bin. I think. (P.S. Don’t use both words. Use one.)
I love this industry. https://t.co/bl9LAAjvSo
RT @glengyron: It’s possible that talkback radio has not really understood #4Corners https://t.co/2pYJhbd33Y
@ashabeeeee THIS IS NOTHING LIKE WE WERE PROMISED IN THE LAST SEASON OF “24”.
Are you allowed to waterboard Optus executives?
@Davidramli @darrenpauli Isn’t “staple” for food?
@darrenpauli Like, “entrenched”?
In further news, General Motors to close horseshoe production line. https://t.co/oSyk9UXjQ4
Sorry, that should be multi BILLION dollar scam. Buy more pets. https://t.co/uZrwuxnp1G
Don’t mess with this woman either. She boils frogs. https://t.co/d5aPXOi7Ld
Don’t. Fuck. With. Nuns. https://t.co/xZMAHIl0FL
@darrenpauli @mikko @Beaker This is true, although I seem to have missed out on the dunny thing.
I think I may have just fucked up everything for some weeks if not months.
All that said, the catering is excellent.
Cybersecurity is just one big multi million dollar scam and everyone in it is a liar and a fraud. Spend your money on pets or something.
Well they didn’t do that bit, the customer did. It was “on the roadmap”, which is code for “Fuck knows how to do this give us money anyway.”
We pointed to part of the conceptual diagram, one of the hard bits, asking where that was done in their range of products and/or services.
But we all thought, um, this is just what everyone else in the industry has been saying for five or six years. You’ve just renamed products.
The company boasted how this new framework would transform the way that cybersecurity was done. Proudly, they talked us through…
They wheeled in a Big Name IT Person who made a few generic remarks and then stood there like a waiter for diners pouring their own wine.
Not too long ago, a company briefed journalists and analysis on their Big New Conceptual Framework for their products and/or services…
It’s going to be one of those days… https://t.co/dgtJesKHyL
Meanwhile, at an organisation that seems to understand this shit… https://t.co/EgIOdqJjaL
RT @DanConifer: In June @4corners exposed practices of retirement village giant Aveo.
Aveo now paying to be top Google result if you searc…
@mukimu For someone who turned to the dark side you’re an OK guy.
@mukimu Fair point.
Christ I hate these people.
There’s no technology whatsoever that can stop your database being walked out the door if you’re a cunt to your employees.
There’s no technology whatsoever that can stop people clicking on the bad link if they’re so overworked they don’t have time to think.
Seriously. Get rid of your old crap. Patch your shit. Fix your garbage corporate culture and practices. Spend the money you save at the pub.
“In order to stay ahead in a rapidly evolving cyber threat landscape, it is imperative…” Yeah you can fuck off as well.
The company imagines this to be a punishment, but it is in fact a blessed relief.
Few people are brave enough to tell them that the Keynote has no clothes. Because if you do, they don’t let you go again.
Which they do.
No-one enjoys the Keynote, except the company’s paid sycophants, who applaud their CEOs bland generalities as if their lives depend on it.
Also, “The advert will be performed by IT executives reading from a TV monitor, interspersed by music that is too loud.”
Pro Tip: “Take in the Keynote address for latest insights from top industry experts” really means “Watch a 90-minute advert live on stage”.
TheOnion Picking Thing Up From Apartment Floor Rescheduled For Thursday trib.al/vvkuPuw pic.twitter.com/aQOsytxvpF
@dfpiii Who can say what the robots have planned, their furtive minds trapped silently in their plastic shells.
jutral An elevator at Newark Airport… No one is heading to @defcon… pic.twitter.com/spHwzvY7Si
RT @snurb_dot_info: What, put the Zodiac Killer in charge of justice ? Bwahaha. https://t.co/483qq2y6pd
wintnation Please visit their page and donate at a Commonwealth bank so that the Singaporean army can train in Australia.
I just saw the @crikey_news headline “Belinda Neal expelled” and imagined a moist sort of “Fwooopsh!” sound.
wintnation youngsters are all fucked up due to Trolls, but my son is set to be tabled this November, with the deadline submissions set for May 8.
Last night I dreamed we had to change Sydney’s inner west train timetables so Barack Obama could take us to Marrickville to buy chocolate.
Yes. Right. Of course they have been. https://t.co/b8XQC5TiWQ
This is how the alligators get cellphone reception. https://t.co/aYZwAoZV2e
@voltagex It never is.
Tue plan, draft: Writing and editing all day,breaking for meals as appropriate. Just starting at one end, and seeing how far we can get.
Maybe they could on-sell them to Australian Border Force. https://t.co/WXMhFxE4le
Everything is wonderful, except for the things that are not.
Tuesday. The hat, or the banana. Which is it to be? Tuesday
Gorn.
RT @awelder: This is the most humble day of Kushner’s life https://t.co/uZamO0Qe2u
RT @AbiWilks: lmao I’m so into this illustration https://t.co/Kzt3Z5gYOn
RT @resentfultweet: Congrats to @NatSecGeek for discovering the world’s worst pickup line in this FBI pamphlet on Soviet espionage: https:/…
@robcorr As opposed to … ?
@StephanieCarvin Enjoy! BTW, his anti-gambling stance was genuine. As a suburban solicitor he helped out many in tr… https://t.co/FYxYpDS6MD
@StephanieCarvin Yep. I just checked, and Google Images on “nick xenophon stunt” will give you plenty. The goats are my personal favourite.
@StephanieCarvin Populist independent state politician in SA, ran on anti-gambling, then on local issues against fe… https://t.co/37PlPts89w
RT @edbott: Chaser. https://t.co/V8yTHLdN4F
RT @edbott: Shot: https://t.co/qtAelNGP8X
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. https://t.co/ooP8Uqzqyg
RT @JBWolfsthal: To be clear, there is ZERO evidence this is remotely true. Same lies that led to Iraq Invasion. Dangerous, false and irres…
RT @buherator: Merchants of dea…wait, is this issue more complex? https://t.co/2AlHO9nnMZ
jonkeegan Spotted by my wife in Trivial Pursuit 80’s edition tonight. Prophetic. pic.twitter.com/gyVbjSV21q
PaulBongiorno Watching Four Corners remember there is not a Labor vote in the Murray Darling. The Nationals State and federal couldn’t give a stuff.
You had me at “weird blumenthalesque fluid”. https://t.co/928IpVTJ3p
@SnarkyPlatypus You’d have to be way out of touch to think that having a go at a student parody is anything but a bad look.
Why do you care? It’s in France. https://t.co/kZ25ZaCh5F
Sure it will. https://t.co/9VJQAo0LQc
@TimWattsMP @MsLods “Strong” is a word for it, yes, perhaps.
Awwww. “No permission was sought or granted to use his name and images,” says Xenophon’s media advisor, unaware per… https://t.co/RViftkIqZQ
Yeah thanks for that, Mike. [Reaches for the bleach.] https://t.co/d1A7XIJLMi
You know what you’re going to hate about tomorrow? Wall to wall reporting of the Wisdom of Xenophon of the Murray.
@aleeb88 You’re not helping.
@PeteLawler I now understand what’s going on. Well, that bit anyway. The rest of the world is still a bit fuzzy.
GameGriffin Shout out to the man in the audience for Dunkirk who turned to his girlfriend + said “Dunkirk” when the word ‘Dunkirk’ came up on screen.
“Read Jared Kushner’s Prepared Remarks” https://t.co/O2Hof7kfPI At least, do so if your life is and empty.
@aleeb88 Yeah, best stop now.
“And then the murders began…” https://t.co/xFsqYLDKBA
I’ve washed it down with cider, just to be sure.
@PeteLawler Is there any chance you mean Thursday and not tomorrow?
@PeteLawler I have no idea what any of that means, but may God bless you and all who sail in you.
RT @paleofuture: “Yeah, no shit.” - all of Australia https://t.co/EZQhDxOKBw
@PeteLawler Thank you, yes, but I bought one good and large beer, rather than two small bad beers.
@MsLods @TimWattsMP Oh dear. I have no memory of that earlier tweet. I’m worried now.
wintnation SENATE SPEECH - Pollie Perks system operating successfully in US/Europe
Salt. Mostly it means salt. https://t.co/HyA8rCaddC
There’s quite a bit to unpack here. https://t.co/UmH8lQTfje
“The 9pm Edict” will be streamed live from stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ at 2100 AEST Thursday. Support it with a tip at stilgherrian.com/tip/
This fits nicely into one of my rants for “The 9pm Edict” being recorded on Thursday night.
In which Australia’s Minister for Human Services reveals that doesn’t actually know what poverty means, surprising… https://t.co/pWP66NSINO
@mrgrumpystephen Oh no, this is definitely not one for the recreational drug list.
Meh. I’m pretty sure I haven’t taken any yet this evening. YOLO. [Downs pill]
@SnarkyPlatypus I’ve been told, by someone who claims to be a “doctor”, that those 7-day pill boxes are “not just for old people”.
I’m detecting some negative vibes in relation to Chris Corrigan. It’s like he’s not popular with some people.