Looks like we’re in the wrong cafe. twitter.com/AinslieClaire/…
SquigglyRick Omg guys how good is the dance scene from Call me by Your Name I’ve posted it here with permission pic.twitter.com/NFcnjmnOiX
“Alexander Downer” and “drinking buddies” are not a thing. twitter.com/keith_ng/statu…
AMNH Next time you eat guacamole, thank a giant ground sloth: the Lestodon! These 15-ft animals ate avocado whole, trave..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…hr
elzxbth You tried to warn us. twitter.com/johnbirmingham…
angryaboutbikes The three types of “Amateur Historian”:
1) Owns a metal detector and muddy wellies
2) Has 400 books on the history..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…7h
@SnarkyPlatypus I can think of worse.
I suppose it’s hard to celebrate NYE, and especially hard to let off fireworks, inside the Cupboard. So this is all..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Kf
Sun plan: The “potter around the house eating and drinking” turned into slothing, but now I’ll keep going until the..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…aU
Goddam cicadas.
AndrewBGreene Pretty sure President Trump’s supporters are gonna lose their minds when they discover @AlexanderDowner was a “Libe..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…bU
ClickHole Emotional Rant: Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey Apologized For Letting Nazis Use His Platform When It’s Intended Only For L..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…PU
alexdecampi Heyyy so I heard Marvel is letting us make our own comics now and there are some rules about stuff we have to inclu..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…lH
AndrewBGreene Americans are now sending herograms to Alexander Downer thanking him for his reported role in kicking off the FBI’s..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…mx
Sun plan, draft: Potter around the house eating and drinking until the world ends. I mean, until the year ends. Fourteen hours to go.
@twiddlekins @NuclearAnthro The Hello Kitty look could work too.
@twiddlekins @NuclearAnthro Ain’t it cute though.
@NuclearAnthro This reminds me, I haven’t caught up with the latest adventures of Mr Peanut.
@NuclearAnthro Ah that makes sense.
@NuclearAnthro Amongst other things, I hope, because the Gryphon is slightly obscure.
@NuclearAnthro And this is all before a coffee. I can see how my brain generated both “W84” and “No, that’s wrong”..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…SW
@NuclearAnthro “Tonight on ‘Know Your Nuclear Warhead’…” But if I say “W84” I’m pretty sure I don’t get the bonus points.
@NuclearAnthro Is it sad that I took one glance at that and thought “Davy Crockett warhead”?
I really am liking this quite a lot. twitter.com/jacquidark/sta…
@developerjack None of those things.
@jpwarren I’m still very confused.
Histreepix The residents of Gotham City summon Santa. 1956. pic.twitter.com/hUFPLCAREk
jacquidark Yeah, that Joan Sullivan sure could hold a tune! Please, @theheraldsun, re-hire some editors!!! #australianicon..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Wd
I just had a two-hour dream about arguing over the correct size for a paper aircraft, railway timetables, and regis..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…hn
Sunday. Extensions will not be granted. Sunday.
Kate_McClymont A twice bankrupted self-proclaimed lord, who claims to be Prince Philip’s love child, is using a mysterious documen..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…68
@mogadeet She’d lost it long before that.
Oh stop your complaining.
nickschadegg seven hours. he didn’t even last seven hours. pic.twitter.com/M2YzEfYO7m
@SnarkyPlatypus Maybe not.
@DamianM I see what you did there.
@mediajorge Yes, but only a small start.
Don’t get me wrong. Ms Greer is lovely to drink with at 10am before going on stage — true story — but this far pasttwitter.com/i/web/status/9…qmDv
Is there some sort of Germaine Greer tracking and alert site?
Whew. For a moment then I thought the Woman Of A Certain Age in the beer garden was Germaine Greer and I thought th..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…PO
@mediajorge Well I would support this policy.
This, for example. twitter.com/acidic/status/…
And people wonder why I drink. twitter.com/mpesce/status/…
2018 is going to be pretty fucked, eh.
Quiet pre-shopping pint.
upulie Entirely normal person twitter.com/clarkemicah/st…
@iiTalW It’s the best kind of Twitterporn.
So, you’ve seen “A Clockwork Orange”? twitter.com/techAU/status/…
@nehadk Je suis not an idiot.
Oh good, I could use winning the lotto. pic.twitter.com/W0S0MQFslf
I’d leave the shopping until tomorrow except that it’ll be busy with all the last-minute party shoppers and the like.
Sat plan: Sleep in and slow start (done); shopping, Katoomba (a bit later); meals ad lib. There’s a strong sense of CBF about today.
Cicadas.
Saturday. Rattle or gurgle, but not both. Saturday.
@NewtonMark @warkolm Look. Is it chocolate or not?
@NewtonMark What’s “Bitcoin”?
@benpobjie Roger that.
@benpobjie Does it have to be secretly?
peter_tonoli TIL that ‘#’, ‘%’, ‘&’, ‘=’, ‘/’ and ‘<’ are called ‘hacking characters’. #hacking #infosec twitter.com/nixcraft/statu…
drmistercody Guys, thank you for your brave tuxedos. twitter.com/mashable/statu…
australian PM to be penalised over dodgy dinghy behaviour.
bit.ly/2BL14zn
dekrazee1 elarroyo_atx’s photo instagram.com/p/BdQS0u7BZMO/ So true
Stonekettle This guy. twitter.com/chris_costner/…
johnmcternan Twitter, you know what to do. pic.twitter.com/NUgpo4aa3I
Just in case you’d started to think, for some reason, that Bono wasn’t a tosser, a reminder. twitter.com/NYDailyNews/st…
Friday. Which just goes to show you. Friday.
SydneyTom_ Malcolm Turnbull Memorial Swimming Centre has a nice ring to it twitter.com/randlight/stat…
@JohnBirmingham Don’t believe everything you read.
@dobes That’s probably for the best.
@JohnBirmingham There are better things to judge me on.
@dobes You shouldn’t listen to that rubbish.
This will be awesome, @dobes. twitter.com/da_667/status/…
@garystark Look for a (very brief) paper titled “On Bullshit”. It makes the point that this is the defining aspect of bullshit, cf lies.
@corduroy I think the trick is to not read the twat.
veryann0yed my dad said sex ed shouldn’t be the responsibility of public schools, but parents, and i told him that’s a weird ta..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…w6
Every now and then I end up admiring Trump for the sheer audacity of his bullshit. This is one of those times. twitter.com/JamesGunn/stat…
Why not? We ship ordinary fuckin’ water from France. twitter.com/peterjblack/st…
Oh wait. 30 toes. No, I misread that as 30 tons.
maryellenmurr this is especially funny if you imagine the lizard nuns wrote and submitted it pic.twitter.com/l1k5Jfd50o
@dr_nic Well that’s not down to me.
@dr_nic Way ahead of you.
@garystark @R_Chirgwin @GordyPls @bigyahu You’d need a fuck of a lot of mosquitoes.
@garystark @R_Chirgwin @GordyPls @bigyahu Stop that.
@R_Chirgwin @garystark @GordyPls @bigyahu You want the smoker walking around by itself?
@R_Chirgwin @GordyPls @bigyahu @garystark BTW, I’ve used this procedure on an excess of garden snails and they fry..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…o8
@R_Chirgwin @GordyPls @bigyahu @garystark Fuckin’ backpackers. You’d have to do the thing you do with snails and fe..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…6F
staffo_sez So, Simon & Schuster rejected Milo’s MS because its arguments were weak. Imagine if this fundamental standard was a..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Cm
@R_Chirgwin @garystark @GordyPls @bigyahu Mate. Your kids are too skinny. No meat on them. Not worth it.
@NewtonMark Why?
@DavidRDHeath Yes, the least creepy option is that one of the nearby houses has run out of parking space so there they are.
@GingerGorman Hah! These are excellent. Yes, this is the life!
@garystark Mind you, it probably won’t end well.
@GingerGorman See this is the thing. So much of our work can be easily done in our underwear with a gin and tonic close at hand.
@garystark I shall take your advice.
nehadk Daily Mail: Old Muslim man (might be affiliated with ISIS) lies to young innocent Christian boy. twitter.com/buzzfeed/statu…
I’d have said it was down to containerisation and bulk handling. twitter.com/NatBullard/sta…
Is today a work day? Should I be doing some work?
@DavidRDHeath That does seem to be the business proposition. Curious that it’s parked at a private hotel in Ashfiel..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Zl
So here’s a thing. pic.twitter.com/a1Z13K8BaG
jpwarren This will test the adequacy of our strategic shadenfreude reserves. twitter.com/BlogsofWar/sta…
@misskylie77 No such place.
@bigyahu Nothing half a dozen A-10s couldn’t fix.
This is worth considering. pic.twitter.com/FAJU2IOcrE
@elle_franks That’s great, but do they have to be in the same thing.
@elle_franks What is wrong with you?
I’m listening to the latest episode of the “Beef And Dairy Network Podcast”. Two minutes in and I’m already in love..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…aL
mikenelson586 This is good content twitter.com/sarahemclaugh/…
@nickzoic I’m just calling for a little lawn’order.
@BlogsofWar Maybe we could cyber the crypto.
@kjmci I quite like this typo too.
If there’s not a lawn against this there should be. twitter.com/kjmci/status/9…
Thu plan: Tidy all the things (almost all done, apart from concealing the gin theft); lunch, somewhere; train to We..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…C8
@johnb78 True. In hindsight, I should have let it stand.
crashrosbe Someday I hope to be as brave as my one year old daughter who just kneeled down and took a shit in the middle of the Toronto airport.
@johnb78 Mate, you’ve got rocks, tree things, and laminex. What more do you need?
TheOnion Rodent Clearly Making Its Way Through Steve Bannon’s Body Throughout National Security Meeting..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…xW
@wombat1974 OK, thats’s a fair argument.
@wombat1974 Brutalism has a point, though many people don’t get it. These are just dumb blocks.
@wombat1974 We live in the age of Pointless Concrete Blocks. It’s wonderful.
darkhorse166 Demolish their apartments. twitter.com/australian/sta…
ComfortablySmug Humans definitely won’t regret creating robot snakes with lasers on their heads
pic.twitter.com/RhWldxmnWq
MalwareTechBlog It baffles me how a guy who tweeted high resolution photos of his own passport could get hacked.
twitter.com/officialmcafee…
wilfredchan was that chopsticks placement also ‘inspired by asia’ 👀 pic.twitter.com/xG4ixOsOd3
CNNnewsroom “You Can’t See Me” ❌ 👀 A large truck is attempting to block cameras from capturing video of President Donald Trum..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…WY
@bluntshovels I do like that we know specifically which of these arsehats we’re talking about.
Thu plan, draft: Tidy all the things; lunch, somewhere; train to Wentworth Falls; reading en route, maybe; lazy eve..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Yr
johnb78 This may be the most middle class problems protest sign in history pic.twitter.com/o523Ll8sKx
@bluntshovels Yes, that’s would be this guy. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Thursday. Things should be just one thing. Things should not be two things. Thursday.
Stop retweeting things as if you understand what they mean.
MadRadhu Here’s an image of the Japanese Internment Camps we built during WW2. The memorial we built for these says “Here we..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Hx
I think I was at this party. twitter.com/jdub/status/94…
@RealNickHodge Oh I like that.
@tacticalmaid It’s OK, I was making a “joke” about being old.
Untitled, 27 December 2017. pic.twitter.com/RKYzTN2GR2
@JohnBirmingham Is that a thing?
@tacticalmaid I used to drink with him at that pub that isn’t there any more.
@michaelneale Well, has to kill them. Obviously.
Cruel but fair. twitter.com/cafuego/status…
@michaelneale Nipples don’t count.
@tacticalmaid Nobody ever tells me anything interesting.
@tacticalmaid This needs some work, but “Tom Clancy’s Of The Overflow”?
Worst superpower ever. pic.twitter.com/rW9kaH0lt2
Is there any way to remotely cause Airpods to deliver a fatal electrical discharge? Asking for a friend.
RTYI @SnarkyPlatypus. Not the first time I’ve seen this image. twitter.com/oldpicsarchive…
@franksting I think I understand what you mean. Keep up the good work, Breeder Soldier.
@franksting @purserj @swearyanthony @GordyPls Because cunts.
@GordyPls There’s a lot in this whole scenario that I don’t understand.
@GordyPls Wearing pyjamas is a thing that happens when you’re married I guess.
Timeless tweet. twitter.com/GordyPls/statu…
@johncarneyau Ideally, all of them.
@kjmci I believe so.
@kjmci You may not be across the range of placenta-based products already on the market.
@gths Oh,that was referring to a different arsehat.
@kjmci Next up, placenta absinthe.
STOP RETWEETING THAT ARSEHAT.
@R_Chirgwin @jonoabroad Fried beef is no laughing matter.
@R_Chirgwin @jonoabroad Richard. Rent boys are not for cooking.
ota3566 在推特首頁看到CCTV推出一套名為《如果國寶會說話》的紀錄片，即時浮現這幅圖 pic.twitter.com/O1AapMLRb8
Why bother with this bullshit? The man doesn’t pay contractors who he’s got, like, a contract with. He ain’t gonna..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Jo
@ajft Do you have something against bats?
@spottytwit Oh I like this.
@twiddlekins Keep up the good work, Soldier.
@Rashas_Mo @RealNickHodge So would I.
@RealNickHodge When you say “Go full Zodiac’…
@RealNickHodge Sure, but they’re not buried.
@poddiguy @jaybeware Also, in reality. (Sorry.) Yep, this has been part of America for a long time. And other nations.
SixthTone A married man reflects on his 12 years in the sex industry — how he became a husband, father, and sex worker
This.twitter.com/i/web/status/9…8AL
RealNickHodge @Rashas_Mo I know chemtrails contain gluten. #science
For starters, deep-fried beef. pic.twitter.com/fNEQddTkdz
Now that I think about it, I wish I had the resources to make random weird shit and hide it in caves or bury it in..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…C6
This is magnificent. These are difficult birds to photograph. twitter.com/leo_qbn/status…
RealSardonicus On June 1836 five young boys, hunting for rabbits on the north-eastern slopes Arthur’s Seat, Edinburgh, found 17 mi..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…OG
@munin We are such sad fucks.
Everyone’s all for air safety until it causes them a little personal inconvenience. twitter.com/chrissyteigen/…
I would watch this movie. twitter.com/hpstorian/stat…
NewtonMark Christmas lights. (ping @chrisbrownie @simonhackett @raaahbin @thewildgoose @ndrewreid) pic.twitter.com/L9mEFoKdid
@jonoabroad $350 for an hour plus cab fares.
jc_cummins An update on the Melbourne crocodile: “four people have called trying to claim ownership”
abc.net.au/news/2017-12-2…
@brentspargo @NewtonMark @simonhackett It’s all OK. @simonhackett can take care of himself. He is more than aware of me.
@NewtonMark @simonhackett I guess they do.
@egadheg I see what you mean.
So this is happening right now. pic.twitter.com/JvOPt9Pp13
@egadheg I’ll have another look myself.
@NewtonMark @simonhackett Those cunts.
@garthk I do see. pic.twitter.com/I8gr7SO70S
@egadheg I wonder what you’d have said about the stump-jump plough back in the day.
@travisbynight Fair enough.
@egadheg That said, the actual job of fence posts is to be narrow yet strong.
jaybeware In case anyone didn’t know this was an actual thing: thinkprogress.org/california-tel… pic.twitter.com/YNfc2mIrE5
@travisbynight Is this the benchmark scenario?