
mrs_coyle All you need is snow and glowsticks…. pic.twitter.com/tJywJKv9WF
johnb78 This is one of those statistics that’s so obviously false that it makes me assume the writer of the piece in questi..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…fP
“Have fun with a leek.” twitter.com/TreasuryMog/st…
@TalisaDaKisser Nobody knows…
ATTENTION PEOPLE OF ADELAIDE: “The 9pm Hometown Forum” @Pozible campaign is now open. If you want a podcast there o..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…8a
AndrewBGreene Clever camerawork from @9NewsAUS during today’s estimates hearing - but last time this trick was pulled by..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Ye
@aacole42 That’s the one.
@aacole42 You are too modest, Andrew. (I am just saying that to reassure you. This opinion may be revised when I listen back.)

deemadigan When your neg reads more like a pos. pic.twitter.com/rpnCqw1Lrf
JustJimWillDo What’s in these? A tissue paper crown of thorns? Cheap plastic cross/nails/spear/sponge? Unfunny out of date joke? twitter.com/jocelynseip/st…

sanzscript I’m calling this quote of the week so far pic.twitter.com/kYrdL4JFti
This is fine. twitter.com/GardaTraffic/s…
jonkudelka Cartoonists around the nation just going look is there any point after the whiteboard thing?
@BobGrrl Thank you. I had a goatily good time.
I’ll also post more photos from @goatfesttas and Launceston and Hobart on the weekend, so watch out for that.
I made another podcast on Tuesday night with @rockatscientist @aacole42 @LovelyCorrine but it needs editing. I’ll d..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…FR
REMINDER: On Sunday I made a podcast with far too many goats in it. You may choose to listen to it. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Selyst Accidental leak of @USMC personal data through travel management system.
#UserError
#Insider
#RT @Hycieeeee via …twitter.com/i/web/status/9…35
“Almost 20% of adults in … working years are neither working nor trying to find work. Americans who do have jobs..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Yj
“Is Bitcoin a Waste of Electricity, or Something Worse?” nytimes.com/2018/02/28/bus…
@dobes Seems like they used the singular “cybercoin” back in 20916. nytimes.com/2016/03/28/bus… but “cybercoins” plural..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Uy

@dobes Does this Japanese usage count? If not, then yeah they did. pic.twitter.com/W36Fm3aPO9
Hey @dobes, the New York Times is finally with us on this. twitter.com/NYT_first_said…
@SnarkyPlatypus Also, he’s a citizen of Montenegro. For some reason or other.
phbarratt Unexpected? What competent person who was paying attention “unexpected” it? The issue stuck out like the proverbial..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Ae
@SydneyTom_ @RealNickHodge But inside the line is “Drawn Together”.
Pro Tip: “Watership Down” is the only canonical sequel to “Blackhawk Down”. Or maybe vice versa.
@RealNickHodge Also, Watership Down.

Rule 34? (Pics by @AAPMick) pic.twitter.com/5MpdH0TLDQ
AirlineFlyer Anybody want to buy a @BoeingAirplanes 787-9? It’s practically new, with only 16.5 hours in the air. BYO seats. Fin..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…an
@Spoonyman That’s a good suggestion too, but I went with @burgotastic’s suggestion of Nat King Quoll.
phbarratt Didn’t anyone tell them about when you find yourself in a hole it’s a great idea to stop digging? twitter.com/gcobber99/stat…
jpwarren “Computers yelling Numberwang at each other” is my absolute favourite description of blockchain.
jxeeno someone should create a mobile whiteboard review site for embattled pollies
Does this surprise you? No, me neither. twitter.com/thehill/status…
firstdogonmoon I’m starting to think that Michaela Cash is not as clever as they want us to think she is

touchmybobby chinese dating shows are extremely relatable pic.twitter.com/1sf6rNqWKz
Yes, you must all watch this trailer. twitter.com/BloodyCheery/s…
BloodyCheery @rabbitlayla Here’s the trailer in case y’all want to see more youtube.com/watch?v=Li6hbK…
rabbitlayla This was a real show in Japan about a Samurai who refused to kill a cat he was hired to kill. I had to post the ext..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…s3
@SnarkyPlatypus Bugger all, is my guess. It’ll take pressure off the freeways.
@aleeb88 Erm…
Also, fans of compliance paperwork and contract management. @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus twitter.com/NickyWill100/s…
Does it have to be your own nuts? twitter.com/RealNickHodge/…
Thanks, @eztephen @gnoll110 @Frothy_boy and everyone else, but you’ve got to be quick. I have decided.

best_in_dumbest We bring the “Polyp”
Out of “Polyphony” pic.twitter.com/l9ysZW7M4q
@georgepnott Thanks, these are all excellent connections. “Lonely Island” is very cruisey. I hadn’t heard it before.
@kheitman_au I was just listening to that song!
Now playing: Nat King Cole, “Nature Boy” youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0XJC…
@AUSFestivus I’m not listening to Nat King Cole songs, and reminding myself how magnificent a voice he had.
@Spikesaurus This is an excellent gag, and I will refer back to it in due course.
TheShovel It’s 4pm, which means it times for parents to pick up their children from Senate Estimates
@AUSFestivus Quint, according to the ‘pedia. But I’ve chosen to avoid the Q.
Nathaniel Quoll will be unforgettable. youtube.com/watch?v=vDN5rG…

Once more with the photo. Nathaniel K Quoll, aka Nat King Quoll. pic.twitter.com/vSNgLeMagr
I name this quoll Nathaniel K Quoll, aka Nat King Quoll. Thank you, @burgotastic. twitter.com/burgotastic/st…
And now suggestions are coming in faster than I can handle. I can’t possibly respond to all of these. BUT I HAVE MADE A DECISION.
Wow. Joel the Quoll. This could work. Still thinking… twitter.com/AbstractCode/s…
This is an interesting theory… Quentin is a bit poncey for a quoll, though, isn’t it? twitter.com/Tim_Beshara/st…
Maybe I should auction off the naming rights.
Nah. Sorry. Not Bob. twitter.com/ravensergei/st…
Keith is a good name for a quoll, yes, but still thinking… twitter.com/evcricket/stat…
Is he a Quimby, though? Is it even a “he”? twitter.com/emelaarghh/sta…
@brandycooklyn You’re not helping.

I need to choose a name for my new quoll. pic.twitter.com/yFnbx0BGB4
@SnarkyPlatypus @KrazyKarl910 ARE YOU CATHOLICS GANGING UP ON ME NOW.
@KrazyKarl910 I’m pretty sure He knows where to find me if he needs me.
@misosusanowa Well yes, that’s another whole argument to be brought to the table.
@corduroy That’s also what I thought.
@corduroy I refuse to do business with those cunts.
FOUR FARES WAITING ALL AT ONCE THE SYSTEM HAS COLLAPSED IT IS TOTAL CHAOS.
TAXI MAYHEM AT WENTWORTH FALLS.

glengyron Turnbull: stop the bullshit and theatrics and just do your effing job.
Cash: pic.twitter.com/8xzidEomzf

PPantsdown “Avengers” reboot looks a bit weak IMHO pic.twitter.com/M3JEjXqvzS
@SnarkyPlatypus Maybe this is more a @DavidFeng thing, because he is very harmonious*.
* Not at all harmonious.
@SnarkyPlatypus This is not very harmonious of you.

James_Jeffrey This might have been a more dignified way for Senator Cash to secretly enter Estimates pic.twitter.com/tH9qfp2lAW
Hey @SnarkyPlatypus, want an easy job in the media? twitter.com/RealSexyCyborg…
@paulbam3 I would like to watch him do it in a ditch.
Agreed. twitter.com/joshgnosis/sta…
Also, HAHAHAHAHA. twitter.com/rharris334/sta…
Exactly. twitter.com/TrainLinkWest/…
The #purpletrain is now 16 minutes late because there was a passenger disturbance and the police were called to rem..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…kK
@glenpen60 @TimWattsMP It’s the failure to disclose that’s the issue here. #secretpubgate
HAHAHAHAHA. twitter.com/nat_forrest/st…
@jpwarren I’m just offering the Prime Minister some friendly advice, our of our well-known mutual affection and respect.

Crossing the Nepean. instagram.com/p/Bfw-vNOnPKP/
srpeatling Remember when Australian politics was just a never-ending domino effect of MPs and their citizenship status? I am s..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…bq
Not a hill to die on, Mr Trumble. twitter.com/joshgnosis/sta…

TheRealSpaf US Lifeguards To Carry Sharks, To Protect Beachgoers From Future Shark Attacks – The Shovebit.ly/2EXLzptOpic.twitter.com/TnpkJEBVv4v4
Actually this might be the city of New York rather than the state. I seem to remember them having a solid financial compliance organisation.
Aren’t states’ rights a wonderful thing. twitter.com/Brasilmagic/st…
developerjack OH: you know, Minecraft sounds like Hitlers Etsy store.

patbcaruana Update: There have been 12 (twelve) tickets purchased for the Twitter masterclass. pic.twitter.com/BKgAN71MEM

These Star Wars movies just get weirder and weirder. pic.twitter.com/75ir9AXLoI
@bastardsheep Thanks. I knew about the Moonies historically, but not all this recent stuff with the son taking over..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…bA
Why yes, I knew at a single glance that they were Moonies*. Why do you ask?
* Yes, “Moonies” is a religioius slur..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Ey
Grief from @KrazyKarl910 incoming in 5… 4… 3… ;)
@GreenJ Moonies. See thread. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
And let’s not even start on the Catholic ritual zombie cannibalism of “Eat my dead flesh and live forever with your..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…7e
Anyone having a go at the “silly” garb of the Moonies and their guns needs to step into a Catholic church some time..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…If
@munin True enough.
M O O N I E S .
@munin They’re Moonies. Like, actual Moonies. With their Rods of Iron.
And in case you missed @jacquelinelarma’s astounding photos earlier, here they are again. twitter.com/AP_Images/stat…
“As the parable of the Ten Virgins spoken of in Matthew 25:1-13 explains, believers should be prepared internally a..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…NI
“If unable to purchase and legally transport such a ‘rod of iron” because of laws […] or other reasons, couples a..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…TV
“Blessed couples are requested to bring the accoutrements of the nation of Cheon Il Guk, crowns representing the so..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…gf
That photo circulating today is from this event, the “Cosmic True Parents of Heaven, Earth and Humanity Cheon Il Gu..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…ww
@spottytwit What even? Fish are good clean healthy fun.
@BetterTDeck @SnarkyPlatypus Indeed, but I figured you people would know people who would know other people. ;)
“Cosmic Blessing of 4,300 Couples for Returning to True Father’s Authority (Phase One)” sanctuary-pa.org/index.php/2016… I r..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…7O
@intelwire They’re Moonies. Choose your poison. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unificati… sanctuary-pa.org
@voltagex You know the Rule.

@DamianM No, look, you don’t need an entire web page to justify this conclusion. pic.twitter.com/eADDDDM9aP
What this advert fails to add is that @TimWattsMP’s office is next to a pub. There’s Labor’s problems in a nutshell. twitter.com/TimWattsMP/sta…
@grottyscotty Goats are not seafood.
@SnarkyPlatypus Well that’s a head start, at least.
Pleasuring myself with seafood.

TheShovel Science News: Scientific researchers have begun development of an anti-venom for Michaelia Cash pic.twitter.com/IsH08KooFJ
@phbarratt You must be new here. ;)
@SnarkyPlatypus If your industry is anything like the cybers, there can never be enough risk awareness.
@Viss @dobes @ashabeeeee Yeah @dobes I’m reserving this “chain gang” pun for a future yarn.

Stonekettle Panic sets in at Breitbart. pic.twitter.com/GbemHhKcVe
@SnarkyPlatypus Someone will doubtless create a service that does exactly that within a few days. Ping @BetterTDeck.
@Viss So I guess this is where the term “chain gang” comes from. Ping @dobes @ashabeeeee.
@Viss Next it’ll be bikinis on the blockchain.
owillis feels like “the shooter had rifle magazines with swastikas” is being super-undercovered huffingtonpost.com/entry/parkland…
michaelkoziol Yikes, quite a blow-up in education #estimates. Liberal senator James Paterson made an off-hand comment about the R..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…fI

ABCmediawatch Anything can be exclusive when you just make it up … #MediaWatch pic.twitter.com/iqVGmSmu3i
“ATO spent AU$333m on employment outsourcing during year of outages” by @ashabeeeee zd.net/2t1gwHT A third of a billion dollars.
Only a complete fuckwit would think that “graduates’ eventual salary” should be a KPI for a university. This is suc..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…6m
@ForsakenDAemon I giggle a lot over your oats too.
True fact. twitter.com/Serrels/status…

Fight the power, cryptokids. pic.twitter.com/OGcLe3t1NB
Thu plan, redraft: Slow start (in progress); pho (soon); train to Wentworth Falls; administrivia en route; edit and..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…fS
That’s going to devastate my mentions, isn’t it.
Dear America, “AR-15” isn’t a paragraph number in the Constitution.
Adelaide in a nutshell. twitter.com/glengyron/stat…
@allrite @markhumphries Yes, I think you’re right.

@markhumphries Superb. pic.twitter.com/QgVNDJadzb
What worries me is that @markhumphries is starting to inhabit his characters just a little too much. But I also wan..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Xc
earleyedition “While lesser journalists would skip over the bangability of a leader, Wooley puts that front and centre, and that’..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Al

markhumphries Inspiring lessons from that 60 Minutes interview with NZ PM Jacinda Ardern. pic.twitter.com/eqCz1RJRXV
@dobes @ashabeeeee No.
@JustJimWillDo @trollantechinus One can only hope.

@TeamBloomart It is excellent quollity, though I suspect I has been equipped with a generic furry critter tail. pic.twitter.com/jZmS26KO6B
@JustJimWillDo And they keep the vermin down.
Me at @zdnetaustralia Tuesday: “Australian universities and NGOs targeted by Iranian and Chinese hackers” zdnet.com/article/austra…
Me at @TechRepublic this week: “DIY genetic engineering is about to explode” techrepublic.com/article/diy-ge…

While I was in Tasmania, I got myself a quoll. pic.twitter.com/1jn5iTKSue
samanthamaiden Yes this is true. The rumour that Bill Shorten had impregnanted a man was truly one of the great Parliamentary worl..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…o9

Hey @dobes @ashabeeeee, are either of you an “experienced investor”? pic.twitter.com/NF9LkyBRFm
@jpwarren He was a smart guy, one of the those old-school public servants who ran a tight ship, and who focused on the “service” part.
xeni Twitter was like good weed & an espresso
Then it was like crack
Then for a while PCP
Now I’d say we are in bath salts or krokodil territory
“So why are you leaving?”, he asked. “You’re doing very well here.”
“I just know that this isn’t me. This isn’t the..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…kA
In my first proper full-time jobs, in public service aviation administration way back when, I left after two years..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…dZ
So many studies these days seem to support these ideas. My guess is that they don’t get implemented because the lad..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…NJ

TheOnion Delta Pilot Refuses To Land Until Gun Control Legislation Passed trib.al/C8Od0O6 pic.twitter.com/6r69zXK3TI
@jplonie Maybe.
dakami Someday, your children also get to not be Satoshi twitter.com/aloria/status/…
Deprioritising compliance, firearms edition. Attn: @SnarkyPlatypus @jpwarren. twitter.com/chrisgeidner/s…
Maybe I’ve got Mad Goat Disease.
Has anyone seen Michaelia Cash this morning?
I think @NewtonMark knew this. twitter.com/TheOnion/statu…
rachelking How was he effective before? twitter.com/guardiannews/s…
@SnarkyPlatypus Uh oh. Maybe it wasn’t the duck ramen after all. I feel very post-bug today.
“Hey Ladies, have you drooled over an elected member today? Or are you letting your side down?” HT @jeamland, who I..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…cP

MrCsandDs The perfect crime.. pic.twitter.com/rAF9GaD9qw

jeamland Corrected headline: “Government Tries To Shift Blame To The People They’ve Been Shafting” pic.twitter.com/k5btqNLi8N
NewtonMark This is from three years ago, and looks pretty good in retrospect. canberratimes.com.au/comment/joe-ho…
“Tony Abbott’s office helped secure donation despite ASIO warning” theage.com.au/politics/feder… It gets funnier every day.
THIS IS THE QUESTION EVERYBODY SHOULD BE ASKING. twitter.com/doingitwrong/s…
@ben_hr @NewtonMark @bernietb GIANT FLYING LEAF BLOWERS.

Delightful weather in Wentworth Falls too, according to @CARROT_app. pic.twitter.com/PQBvN1gzbJ

Delightful weather in Sydney today, according to @CARROT_app. pic.twitter.com/la1GMtFSA9
Thu plan, outline draft: Slow start; pho, perhaps; train to Wentworth Falls; figure out everything else en route; y..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Vz
@jodiem Very recommended.

workmanalice CASH = BELEAGURED. pic.twitter.com/f53QOCzrRw
@franksting Goats will do a lot of things to you, if you spend enough time with them.
qjurecic I check in on Twitter after six hours and Trump wants to take away guns now?

expectproblems Some days, I am proud of my country, my city, and all the journalists within either. pedestrian.tv/news/ferry-mcf… pic.twitter.com/nDMOjzKbJG

missie17 Wakeý fucking wakey. pic.twitter.com/WRE3F2cgxP
Um, yeah, look..twitter.com/chrisgeidner/s…6P
@ajfitzpatrick This is an interesting idea.
@PeteLawler @SnarkyPlatypus The blue tongue is not the issue.
I think I need to have an easier day today.
Perfectly, as they say, normal. twitter.com/AP_Images/stat…
Thursday. The actual one. Thursday.