Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

January 2019

@jeffsonstein @CrankyOldBats2 @get_it_maggie @CARROT_app I haven’t played with that part of it. I should probably check it out some time.

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@jeffsonstein @CrankyOldBats2 @get_it_maggie @CARROT_app Ah yes. That. I’m a bit of a fan.

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@dbph Ah yes, those people. I think the technical term is “arseholes”. My gripe earlier was more about people who a… https://t.co/pxUreVdFE2

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@i386 Maybe, “Children should make vodka”?

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@dbph @flowblok On the cultural point, I don’t think that there’s anything particularly Australian about that.

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@dbph @flowblok I think I’m already a sloth. :P

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@dbph @flowblok Have you considered that it wasn’t serious? That it might have been hyperbole?

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@dbph @flowblok Sloths can be tricky.

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@noreasonspec Maybe I should interview them for the podcast.

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@noreasonspec Yeah this has been brought to my attention, though I haven’t read any of it yet. I think I might start crying.

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@JustJimWillDo @johnb78 So again, so-called “modern chemistry” versus, you know, vodka.

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@shermozle That meal there does look rather nice.

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@johnb78 @JustJimWillDo Look, I’m just the messenger here. If you have grievances then you should take them up with… https://t.co/CXqTDaJlKa

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Knödelfreude.

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@JustJimWillDo So, you’re suggesting that I take your word over that of a Russian embassy?

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RT @xtophercook: This is a top-drawer production error. https://t.co/DfuMvHlhur

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I’m already thinking of cocktail recipes. https://t.co/dJYduCfI4P

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Yes, the @PointlessAU recording sessions are heaps of fun. And free. Go here to book. Episode 152.… https://t.co/A6LniiEXIU

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@mildurian @PointlessAU @markhumphries It was a satisfactory conclusion to the narrative.

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jonny_is_good @crushingbort your Guardian columnist name is what you drive to work + what you ate last time you had food poisoning

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:26 PM, Jan 31st, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@PointlessAU Also, @markhumphries did indeed bring me biscuits. They were Delta Creams.

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@PointlessAU Well that was a wonderful episode of @PointlessAU what we just saw being recorded. I’ll grab the episode number later.

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@PointlessAU Behind the scattered seats on which the audience is waiting is a pile of bits of the set of “The Bachelor”.

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@PointlessAU We’re waiting inside now, in the cool. There is a pie warmer labelled “Studio 10 Audience Only”. Wow. They they get pies.

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dobes It’s the clearest policy position I’ve seen the government take in some time. pic.twitter.com/xU0gX9t8Oy

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At the Network Ten headquarters in Pyrmont, waiting for the doors to open and admit us to the Wondrous Cave of @PointlessAU.

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@jeamland Yeah, I can relate. But the trick, @Popehat, is to put in a gag that’s even more outrageous as a buffer,… https://t.co/rZtXEdywAL

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@paulwallbank Your life expectancy is dropping by the minute, Sunshine.

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At Sydney Central station where right now it’s get out of my way you stupid dawdlesprawling cunts what the fuck is wrong with you,

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RT @SwiftOnSecurity: you have an abandoned Linux distribution and a plastic box https://t.co/dQxdaqLGx1

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Hey @dobes @jpwarren @kcarruthers they got some of the good weed over at IBM. https://t.co/589YqJgBsW

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@davispg @PSyvret It’s coming up to lunchtime. Don’t give me ideas.

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Yeah I’m going to need some documentation, Mr Bannon. https://t.co/mgrhh06SDh

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@SnarkyPlatypus @lewellyn @CARROT_app @HumorCast In further news, later this afternoon we will all be required to fuck a swan.

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@SnarkyPlatypus @lewellyn @CARROT_app @HumorCast Well these are our role models and we should thank them for being an example for to follow.

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RT @NuclearAnthro: Why haven’t we broken out the guillotine yet?

I mean, it’s hard for me to imagine a single reason this person is worth…

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The #purpletrain air conditioning is struggling. Meanwhile just behind me some boomer is coughing up his guts, soun… https://t.co/LymJucf5B7

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@lewellyn @CARROT_app @HumorCast Well they’re all a bit cranky these days.

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@lewellyn @CARROT_app @HumorCast No, but @CARROT_app would add to your woes, so that’d be a change.

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RT @erinrileyau: Who could possibly have predicted $1.08m (that’s 11.3 times median annual family income) for a two-bedroom apartment 23km…

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RT @Ausgrid: Power is out to about 45,000 customers in Sydney’s eastern suburbs. Emergency crews are on the way to investigate and restore…

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@MrShlee I mis-spelled a word. My love for you must be true.

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When you forget to turn off Bluetooth on the train. pic.twitter.com/qYuOyrDGit

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@noreasonspec That age group is one of the worst offenders.

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@pdh1944 Exactly. This stuff isn’t rocket surgery.

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Says a bloke running a company where selling credit to property speculators is a key line of business. In further n… https://t.co/rPRKkbKLly

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thedavidcrosby If smoking marijuana causes short-term memory loss, what does smoking marijuana do?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:25 AM, Jan 31st, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

harikondabolu Someone send Marie Kondo to the British Museum, so some of us can get our shit back.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:24 AM, Jan 31st, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Hah! #purpletrain guard just now, after the quiet carriage spiel: “A lot suburban customers don’t respect that [qui… https://t.co/aWMSvf4XKQ

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@Bredgens @newscientist Ah, no, the figures were per-dose casualties, not per-capita. I see your point, and yes I i… https://t.co/N9MTM7KLB5

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@johnb78 You’ll have to be more specific.

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@Bredgens @newscientist Regulating quality and labelling increasing there casualty rate? How?

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Oh yes, I’d forgotten this factor. Scoffing them on seeing the cops, or having them all just before you go through… https://t.co/MbGsLCVMGr

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On the other hand, MDMA can lead to dancing, even hand-holding, so that’s a concern.

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I have no data to hand, but I’m willing to bet that most “killed by ecstasy” events are quality control and dosing… https://t.co/xkw9yZfISd

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“Oh but we don’t want people (‘kids’) doing drugs all day.” Obviously not. But we don’t want people being drunk all… https://t.co/xuq7RvCGOP

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Someone should dig out the @newscientist piece some years back that calculated the doses of MDMA taken in the UK, a… https://t.co/iFoDKlckd7

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@ApostrophePong I’ve never experienced anywhere that cold before.

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johnshakespeare Gladys loves fish pic.twitter.com/zTkRoFqGep

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:35 AM, Jan 31st, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

RT @earleyedition: ahahaha 🤣 Former LNP president says Queensland not prone to corruption like NSW 😂😆 https://t.co/PV9N6SF5cz https://t.co/…

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RT @TimWattsMP: …and THAT’S why I resigned from the Turnbull Ministry and voted for Peter Dutton in the leadership spill. https://t.co/pW…

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@_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @dtsmith_sydney Yes, I see your point. “That nice Tim Wilson boy said the socialists will… https://t.co/kKOm0DvV2r

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Now that it’s been said aloud… https://t.co/7yXYfQgpsU

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@dobes “Extraordinary” doesn’t mean “good”.

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Thu plan, confirmed: 1024 train to Sydney (now); haircut; 1400 meet @SnarkyPlatypus; 1450 @PointlessAU recording, N… https://t.co/yvZMhMzihO

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Sigh. The spray didn’t work. https://t.co/tcQ3HLV1nj

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RT @MattChorley: Absolutely brilliant ending to the BBC Six O’clock News tonight #ChocksAway https://t.co/eM7sFuWXKZ

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@crdavies I find it strange that they dropped the ball on this one, because every other project has gone smoothly.

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RT @ISaveThatLine: When Sir Andy Murray shared a photo from his hospital bed it got hundreds of thousands of likes, but it’s unlikely any o…

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I can’t help but think this will come to pass. @SnarkyPlatypus? https://t.co/3lUwcEprkc

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RT @joshgnosis: Wow. Never mind that the grim reaper ad campaign stigmatised gay people for an entire generation. https://t.co/11dz8NBEEw

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RT @NewtonMark: “Minimize talking” will go down poorly in much of the US. https://t.co/rd3QiJJxAo

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RT @thegrugq: Ya know guys, you really coulda done something other than kvetching by… you know…

SHOWING UP FOR THE FUCKING 5G STANDAR…

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RT @Ciaraioch: I know Twitter delivers some mind-blowing takes, but “Ireland was INVITED to join the UK, and the English language was gener…

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“NSW police corruption body wants access to encrypted communications” by @ashabeeeee https://t.co/DBq0C48Oh4 “Exclu… https://t.co/CvKK4FedQg

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And not just digital systems. https://t.co/hTbkNvTuY8

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It’s this sort of thing that inspires confidence in Australia’s governance processes for digital systems.… https://t.co/3kBeJ3BIGA

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RT @bengrubb: About 40 pages of the 105-page report were requested to be removed, including all “unfavourable statements” about the project…

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RT @bengrubb: A Queensland Health general manager requested an independent consultant modify a 2014 report to remove damning warnings about…

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@ashabeeeee About to have a read. I’d actually be quite happy for the anti-corruption bodies have the same powers a… https://t.co/K04JAvXAcP

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@jeffsonstein @CARROT_app Sometimes I think @CARROT_app controls the spiders.

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@SnarkyPlatypus @CARROT_app Is this from a character in your soap opera? The one that starts every response with “As <POPGROUP> sang…”?

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So I’m going down to Sydney today, and this is the weathe@CARROT_apppp has arranged. It’s not idepic.twitter.com/FcFsuO6Iq66Iq6

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RT @Reluctant_Us3r: Former NSA operatives hired by UAE as mercs to target human rights activists and journos.

“It was incredible because t…

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“Home Affairs reveals Australian authorities already using new encryption powers” by @ashabeeeee https://t.co/fuOOCI8VCK #aabill

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@jplonie It’s not a rodent, but yes, but I haven’t seen an antechinus in a while.

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RT @kenklippenstein: If global warming is real then why am I — an estranged MAGA dad — cold and alone

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Me at @zdnetaustralia Wednesday: “Australian web hosts hit with a Manic Menagerie of malware” https://t.co/YTF2thMN3x

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Thu plan, draft: 1024 train to Sydney; haircut; 1400 meet @SnarkyPlatypus; 1450 @PointlessAU recording, Network Ten… https://t.co/WkzI6iYwZb

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I am so sick of these damn spiders.

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So last night I was woken by… something. The wind outside? Whatever, I turned on the light to investigate, and th… https://t.co/YlwMZoBbzA

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Thursday. Have you thought about the paint? Thursday.

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@RachaelHasIdeas Erk. Well here are the figures. They’re nit ideal. https://t.co/M4RRCJCijD

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@RachaelHasIdeas There have been air quality warnings, but I forget what for.

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@SuperCroup @SnarkyPlatypus Well that’s only good manners.

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@SnarkyPlatypus @SuperCroup Look, who amongst us hasn’t, at some point or other, shouted “I invested in Bitcoin please fuck me”?

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@snurb_dot_info Army Special Operation Forces (ARSOF), apparently, and now there’s a whole new layer of US special… https://t.co/zxaMFNi1dq

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@dobes @davidgerard @ashabeeeee @rohan_p On a not-very-related note, I saw this in a Grindr profile the other day. pic.twitter.com/Kba8k9zXem

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@iiTalW HOW THE FUCK AM I MEANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

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RT @stilgherrian: Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Australian web hosts hit with a Manic Menagerie of malware“ https://t.co/UOeUqoyEfy

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It is important to correct your mistakes. https://t.co/I5RYOD1uue

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@dobes @tamaralcoombes @qodarkness What else can he do with that tongue? Asking for a friend.

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@TimGovers @realrossnoble I am fascinated by his — yes, Ross, we’re talking about you in the third person — his lon… https://t.co/ip8WiVto3o

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@dobes @tamaralcoombes @qodarkness I see. Well he does indeed look very intelligent.

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@dobes @tamaralcoombes @qodarkness HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE SOUTH AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT COVERING UP THEIR EXPERIME… https://t.co/F2Zn2G1zys

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@tamaralcoombes @dobes @qodarkness I still think you’re making this up, but I admire your confidence.

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@JustJimWillDo They’d not cope with the two-hour shows then.

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@realrossnoble It’s not often you hear the question “Did you bring a bag of salamanders?” and now I feel that I have a gap in my life.

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Lately I’ve been watching a bunch of standup by @realrossnoble such as this probably-not-recent set at the Hay Fest… https://t.co/KyNwGloGGm

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RT @Baecotte: Anti-vax moms on Facebook: Hey guys anti-vax mom here!! 😝🤟🏼 anyone got a home remedy for Polio or will ginger-ale work?? 🤪🤪

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JamesMelville We are all Angela Merkel right now. pic.twitter.com/WzmQoF39TQ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:54 PM, Jan 30th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

That thing where after a late afternoon nap you’re then annoyingly perky in the evening.

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@dobes @warkolm @oliyoung That’s when I moved to Sydney!

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ABCTV PIG! PIG! PIG! PIG! PIG! PIG! PIG! PIG! PIG! PIG! pic.twitter.com/l4wqVf7Pja

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@warkolm @oliyoung @dobes It’s reached that stage, yes.

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@warkolm @oliyoung @dobes Did any of those involvements involve, say, shooting people?

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@R_Chirgwin @michaelneale @evcricket @weezmgk Has anyone done the mandatory “piston broke” joke yet?

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@dobes Yeah, and duck quacks don’t echo.

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Isn’t scenario planning such a wonderful discipline! https://t.co/Z7Ia1eNwKb

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@dobes Mate, I think a horse has vomited into that saucepan on the right.

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dobes Tonight on MasterChef, I am doing a dish called: “Pay your staff, George” in XO sauce pic.twitter.com/T7uKVUFQYY

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:08 PM, Jan 30th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@KimmerLions @SnarkyPlatypus Just to be clear, I know none of these things.

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RT @nickwray: ❤️❤️❤️ https://t.co/ZFJDL9YeSa

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@SnarkyPlatypus Well suddenly a great many things make more sense.

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RT @jamesrbuk: Had a GP appointment on Monday.

“Do you have any stress at work?”

“Well…I write about Brexit for a living.”

“Oh! Oh. Oh d…

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@SnarkyPlatypus Why do you know the names of characters from “The Bold and the Beautiful”?

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@twcau @xeni For sure, though I love the idea of Foreign Policy being a Russian front.

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@twcau @xeni Um, the RT is for “retweet”. I’m retweeting a protected account.

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Controversial person’s lawyer says book portraying his client in a bad light was bad. Right then. https://t.co/h3IzEPaf30

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RT @SquigglyRick: This is huge. All the independent directors and CEO Louise Adler of MUP (my publisher, disclaimer) have resigned https://…

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Still, a man with a lobster up his arsehat was nearly the premier of Victoria, so maybe he’s onto something.

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Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Australian web hosts hit with a Manic Menagerie of malwarezd.net/2UrGwEWyEfy

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I think I need a lie-down.

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@jpwarren Maybe. But maybe there’s also a place for a business called “Lube-a-Lobster”.

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We must be mere days away from Jack recommending shoving live Vancouver lobsters up your arse for inner vitality.

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RT @Grzeg: there must be a Ballard story where the super rich starve themselves to death out of sheer boredom https://t.co/CpnWeS7dMW

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@dobes Are you saying I’m a seller of low-end squeezes?

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JDeleon1012 “When in doubt, reply all.” @OHnewsroom

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:03 PM, Jan 30th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

To be honest I don’t mind having my low end squeezed. https://t.co/Xy8WynF2t9

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RT @FionaPattenMLC: https://t.co/caqqQQbG2o
The calls to ban music festivals has to remind us of Footloose where dancing was banned to prot…

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Story filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains bad actors.

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Gotta love it when a PR emails you an EXCLUSIVE story for a publication that is not you.

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iiTalW @KetanJ0 Sorted pic.twitter.com/Zoa3bBjxgG

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:17 PM, Jan 30th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

RT @patstokes: [time-machine returns]

You: WTF you didn’t kill Baby Hitler?

Me: [can’t speak for mouth stuffed with nine cent donuts] htt…

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@dobes @rohan_p Yeah, YouTube only needs the slightest excuse to send you down some bad place.

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@rohan_p @dobes Ahl, I think we’ve seen this rabbit-hole before.

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@rohan_p @dobes It’s one of those inflected phrase, isn’t it.
I’m in exile, he’s on the run.

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RT @terencehuynh: Guess we now have to teach kids to never take candy from big social media companies. https://t.co/xCnE86Y9u8

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Adding an unexpected @zdnetaustralia writing task to today’s to-do list. How excite!

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