@JustJimWillDo @dobes Indeed you do. I’ll be back after dinner.
@JustJimWillDo @dobes ‘E’ is harder. How about the Ekranoplan of Embezzlers?
@swearyanthony @dobes @rohan_p Thank you for thinking of us in these troubled times.
@JustJimWillDo @dobes The ark of arseholes.
AngryGranny1 “I just had a few drinks with James Ashby, and woke up in a bathtub full of ice. Now my appendix is on the black ma..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0g
@JustJimWillDo @dobes That’s the one, yes.
@christopherneal @SenatorDoug I’m having a sulk because Parlview is normally accessible within seconds, but for som..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…02
@JustJimWillDo @dobes The ship of state, the pinnace of parliament, the longboat of legislative largesse sails on, majestically.
@rbtcollins Way ahead of you. twitter.com/jonkudelka/sta…
oneunderscore__ China’s version of the CDC wanted to put an “intern” in Grindr’s WeHo office to study HIV, according to leaked emai..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…G8
@bgosford No. :)
@christopherneal @SenatorDoug Hmmm. For some reason Parlview isn’t letting me see anything after about 1700 AEDT. M..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…5D
“Amendments to Australia’s encryption laws stranded before election” by @dobes zdnet.com/article/amendm… #aabill
tracyalloway Avocado prices are clearly tracking Bitcoin. pic.twitter.com/JgxrwnzWcw
On his wife Elaine, “We’ve been married for 48 years. Shit.”
@christopherneal @SenatorDoug Well the transcript is called “Hansard”, and audio and video are available at..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Cv
@DavidFeng For now, anyway.
Also, a savaging of One Nation, reminding us that Pauline Hanson was a Liberal. And was the line “cretinous minions..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9K
Well this is impressive. HT @DavidFeng. twitter.com/CHINA_PICTORIA…
jonkudelka Scomo will be wearing these for a mall walk before this election campaign’s over. Mark my words. twitter.com/ABC7/status/11…
@GreenJ That too.
@SenatorDoug So @SenatorDoug is giving a ode of socialism and quoting Leonard Cohen. This was well worth tuning in for.
@GreenJ Doesn’t really work, does it. Some used in the distant past are Stilge (rhymes with “bilge”) and Stilly (dreadful).
@GreenJ A reasonable response, Greeno.
@JustJimWillDo Well, it’s me over part of me, anyway.
@SenatorDoug It’s @SenatorDoug time!
Absolutely. twitter.com/ABC7/status/11…
Did you see this, @GreenJ? twitter.com/CaseyBriggs/st…
@DavidFeng So disappointing.
ThomasPride You’ve got to admit though. Jeremy Corbyn managing to combine being a Czech spy, Putin collaborator, neo-Nazi, memb..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ua
Senator Moore is currently giving her Valedictory in the Senate. @SenatorDoug is next. Watch at aph.gov.au/Watch_Read_Lis….
But it’s not a recommendation. #aabill twitter.com/rohan_p/status…
@DavidFeng Sorry, who did the fuckup?
Frydo. FFS.
Really? I mean, REALLY? twitter.com/CaseyBriggs/st…
In other words, PJCIS reckons everything can stay as it is until the Independent National Security Legislation Moni..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sv
The guts of the report includes some “Possible matters for further consideration”, but it seems none of them made i..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4Z
The PJCIS report on the Telecommunications and Other Legislation Amendment (Assistance and Access) Act 2018 is up…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ge
TobyonTV Brexit is so messed up you now have fascists who don’t want trains to run on time twitter.com/itvnews/status…
MILFMUNNEE I was getting sick of the renovating page because how many white kitchens with black handles do I really need to lo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9B
“Australian Budget 2019: Everything you need to know,” at least from a tech perspective by @thelaughingsub and..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rm
workmanalice Fraser Anning confirmed to @joekellyoz that the AEC registered “Fraser Anning’s Conservative Party” yesterday & he..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4z
penis_hernandez this might officially be the new best 3 tweet story ever pic.twitter.com/Gls3NP7Rx1
@DavidFeng Google Maps has failed me. pic.twitter.com/PbNIqZOA0S
@DavidFeng Comprehensive research has revealed that it’s in Hunan.
@DavidFeng Is it at Luohexi?
If Donald Trump were indeed to “focus exclusively on properly running [your] great Country” instead of endless sook..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…EN
I will certainly be watching this. I just hope that @PointlessAU is finished in time. twitter.com/SenatorDoug/st…
arizclint The best troll on Aus Twitter: twitter.com/RodgerShanahan…
domknight This is terrific, and contains the greatest soft drink joke ever devised. twitter.com/markhumphries/…
If Michael Keenan’s aim is to deliver the most boring Valedictory speech in parliamentary history then he’s well on the way to victory.
Oh yeah. One more Valedictory before returning to the reports and documents. #aabill twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Hold on. Keenan has just started his Valedictory speech. Let me re-check the running order… #aabill
jeamland Surplus? I think what we need is a FURPLUS!
The House of Representatives is currently being told about this exciting first report. The PJCIS report on the Tele..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9B
I need a lie-down. Lying down. Back in a bit.
@mark_r_asser Way ahead of you.
KKeneally When even Sky News calls your bluff on the #FakeSurplus twitter.com/skynewsaust/st…
Timeless tweet. twitter.com/lanesainty/sta…
I couldn’t even make it half-way through Question Time before my brain started to melt.
jonkudelka The Fine Print in today’s @australian pic.twitter.com/SZ5xRsTQUT
jonkudelka Tastes Like Cat in today’s @themercurycomau pic.twitter.com/TxdqqzUBtw
samanthamaiden Jesus this is super blokey, women left to appear in supporting roles gazing adoringly as the big men walk past them..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1i
I would now like you all to imagine Scott Morrison in a mankini. twitter.com/TimWattsMP/sta…
@dobes RTYI. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
“NBN has purchased almost 30,000 kilometres of copper,” writes @dobes. “It is well on the way to hitting the 40,000..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0A
deemadigan Overhearing Libs at the airport. ‘What we’ve got to do is work out how to sell the budget to Joe Goose- that’s what..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…t6
People who like either dogs or rubber chickens will appreciate this video. youtube.com/watch?v=hpUSLD…
Actually, he sounds more like a rubber chicken. Here’s an example. youtube.com/watch?v=F01qYZ…
Josh Frydenberg sounds like John Clarke doing an impression of a cockatoo.
Tim ‘Backpfeifengesicht’ Wilson.
@AusRob It’s always exciting.
I have turned on the video feed of the House of Representatives because I am an idiot.
@awelder @Pollytics @SenatorDoug Then I guess we should see it as a traditional political phrase, like “tired and emotional”.
Picketer We laugh but our current government created a National Wind Farm Commissioner twitter.com/mkraju/status/…
The Budget is made of planks, apparently. Or so says the Prime Minister. #woodenbudget
@Pollytics @SenatorDoug So does that count as a tribute or a literary reference, or plagiarism?
1petermartin Oh my.
HT: GrogsGamut pic.twitter.com/goV9OgRHqx
“Lateline to Lunchtime” is a great phrase, @SenatorDoug, only slightly ruined by the fact that Lateline ceased to e..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…7d
jonkudelka Petition to the high court to have the appendix take up the seat in the senate.
“US-China trade war inactivity could lead to the ‘worst recession in recent Chinese history’, says scholar” scmp.com/economy/china-…
dandrezner This is the dumbest timeline. twitter.com/jfritze/status…
SwiftOnSecurity Theranos was an Intelligence operation to collect the blood of as many people as possible and test it for alien DNA..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rg
thomas_violence truly amazing how far technology has come. in 2019, with roughly 50 billion times the computation power required to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wv
@jonkudelka @joshgnosis Casual hook-ups for Nazis.
@dobes @joshgnosis It’s the BDSM parties on the weekend that really sets it apart.
@joshgnosis Please don’t say Grindr and Fraser Anning in the same thread.
@joshgnosis Axe, meet grinder.
joyceykao I believe this is what is meant by a whoopsie-daisy. 😂 twitter.com/synbio1/status…
oberonsghost Hanson has her appendix removed? James Ashby still has a job?
ozdj Somewhere in the depths of China and/or Russia, there are probably State-sponsored actors trying to hack AusPost’s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dU
I have been led to believe that today’s report will be relatively brief. #aabill
For some reason I thought this report was coming later in the month, but “The Senate’s referral requires the Commit..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ym
Coming up in the House of Representatives at some point this afternoon, a report (interim?) from PJCIS on the Telec..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Y5
@bigmac Nothing. That would be a robust and foolproof process.
glengyron Imagine being the surgeon doing Hanson.
“I need you to go to the cafeteria and ask if they’ve got any dirty cutlery”.
@dobes To be fair, I’m more your Suzi Quatro leather look.
@bigmac The internet would be better off without it.
ConradLiveris Accuracy. pic.twitter.com/3AXHlHHlq2
kypros1992 we got one @liamvhogan pic.twitter.com/Qgn8ksGwy9
jpwarren Don’t wait for government handouts. Go find paying customers. #startupAUS twitter.com/Murray/status/…
I just fixed an email problem. It was DNS. Of course.
equartey Fascinating. @guardian is making timestamps on old news stories more prominent to avoid people weaponizing/linking..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Nq
“The seven graphs that expose the Coalition’s 2019 budget fairy tale” by @GrogsGamut theguardian.com/australia-news…
Davidramli Remember kids - NBN will never threaten to disconnect your internet. They’ll just do it. twitter.com/scamwatch_gov/…
Oh dear. twitter.com/rabbitandcoffe…
GreenJ I mean you really don’t want to start unpicking all the levels of wrongness and blithe unconcern in this. Amazingly..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…CZ
@zyzzyvamedia @NewtonMark “Days of Speedos and Knighthoods” would be a wonderful title for a political retrospective.
ra6bit Oh wow, apparently SMS spammers use these big cell modems? This thing has 16 banks which can each hold 4 sims and r..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…I8
erinrileyau Too real twitter.com/tom_gatti/stat…
@DavidFeng You’re always irritated.
WHO WAS JULIE WAVING AT? pic.twitter.com/NdHaP43asE
IMPORTANT POLL: Do you want the thing to happen? PLEASE RETWEET.
OK then, Fraser. [Pats head gently] twitter.com/hughriminton/s…
@firstdogonmoon They have live music near the bar later in the afternoon.
@DavidFeng I saw some media outlets fudge it by calling her “Asian”. Don’t get me started.
@strikhedonia01 @billshortenmp Yep.
@garthk Sadly no. He just sat there quietly listening to the panel and missing cues.
“After her arrest, she was not found to be carrying a bathing suit.” twitter.com/CBSEveningNews…
@bradesposito @glengyron So she CAN learn things. Cool.
zyzzyvamedia @peterwells The Coalition has never really understood how technology works. They seem to believe online media is ma..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…se
Timeless tweet. twitter.com/purserj/status…
sallymcmanus .@SenatorDoug gives his farewell speech today at 5pm. If you are in Canberra, go watch it. Doug will continue to ha..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…D8
stephendziedzic Back in the Black is up on WeChat now - ‘the first budget surplus in 12 years’ pic.twitter.com/8cuwYvHh8X
DxGGEAUX just walked in to a stall in my gym’s locker room and found this sitting on the toilet roll box. is this an omen. s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Vx
hughriminton Someone on $50k in 17/18 paid $8,547 tax. With full (“it’s all one package”) cuts, by 2024/25 will pay $7,343 - a 1..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…cF
@CARROT_app Oh. Yeah. As you were.
GreenJ As @GrayConnolly so aptly put it, Cory is just One Nation in French cuffs. twitter.com/jmodoh/status/…
@jpwarren @billshortenmp “Mr President, we must not allow a crayon gap!”
@johnb78 There’s a distinct consensus up here that there’s still plenty of scope for Labor to fuck it up.
johnb78 (I’m not saying that Labor are certain to win, of course - just that the government believe that Labor will win, an..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…W4
johnb78 Again, the thing here is that it isn’t a budget, so it doesn’t matter in the least what any of the numbers say. It’..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zF
billshortenmp A retail worker gets a $250 tax cut, while a banker gets $11,000 back. That’s what a fair go means to the Liberals.
theguardian.com/australia-news…
Armando is keen to give me 50 Amazon Prime points. Or, I can be expelled. pic.twitter.com/7gk3W3MHig
SGBRocks73 @stephenkamos gets upside down!! Wahooooo with @StephenGale201 pic.twitter.com/IhDObR26IS
@dobes Correct. :) They could continue, sure, but the Reps would then cut debate again anyway. I’m guessing Labor s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2W
@dobes Surely, as I’ve said before, we need to PJCIS report.
NickyWill100 I never share quotes, except this made me laugh so hard I had to share. pic.twitter.com/YA5XJjSgzp
@dobes It didn’t anyway, did it?
@oberonsghost Yes I thought you were being a bit unfair to @AnnaFurrygarcon.
@dobes @R_Chirgwin By the hour, plus cab fares.
@BrigadierSlog @jpwarren @billshortenmp Irony, Craig. Irony.
I think the dog has its breakfast now. twitter.com/samanthamaiden…
@jpwarren @billshortenmp Labor could write “Technologically impossible, Coalition are dumb fucks” on it and hand it back.
Attn: @NewtonMark, a podcast idea. twitter.com/mccanner/statu…
rgcooke The path from ‘ending the age of entitlement’ to ‘here is some free money’ deserves its own mini-history.
@davispg @billshortenmp Avoiding The Wedge won’t get them into The Lodge.
@dobes @billshortenmp That’s a separate issue.
@dobes @billshortenmp Now you know that’s not true. I have spent many hours watching these sausages being made, and..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9M
Labor: The legislation as drafted is wrong. We will vote for it.
Me: Hey @billshortenmp what is wrong with you? As..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…PN
MarkDennehy @arigesher Funny how everyone confuses their first time with the first time, isn’t it? pic.twitter.com/2PYW7eqeFD
NitrateDiva The 1940s really were a golden age for cosmetic ad copy that sounded like it was written by a serial killer. pic.twitter.com/927nBKDfUh
NewtonMark It’s all Tony’s budget. Amazing. Everything is about him. pic.twitter.com/nBsThxAQXC
ScottRhodie How can a Government say that are Back in Black (🤮) when they are posting a $4.2 billion deficit this year?
Every..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…De
ellinghausen A pork barrel is wheeled out during Budget-sell interviews on breakfast television on the front lawn of Parliament pic.twitter.com/q5I4wdq8nA
mark_dow The Oranges of Species twitter.com/atrupar/status…
atrupar Wow — Trump repeatedly mangles the word “origins,” on three separate occasions saying “oranges” instead. 😳 pic.twitter.com/EZggYhIAO7
@Dee_Marketing Don’t tell anyone, but I am part of the conspiracy.
stusheridan Now THAT’s a great start to an article!
“With Scott Morrison to call the election within days, Treasurer Josh Fryde..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…a9
So, that video of an Amazon airship shitting out drones? It’s a lovely bit of CGI work. (Thanks to several people w..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Kg
leezachariah Not yet, but give it a month or so. twitter.com/abcnews/status…
hughriminton Ok, so are you buying it? The full tax cut package would see a couple earning $35,000 each getting total tax relief..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…MF
Wed plan, draft: Laundry; edit a paper following reviewer feedback; administrivia; fix a client’s email (moved from..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9e
Why does Frydenberg’s quiver look like a used condom? twitter.com/GreenJ/status/…
This is excellent*. The Budget hasn’t even lasted 24 hours. twitter.com/lenoretaylor/s…
lenoretaylor which is quite extraordinary because that is not what was in last night’s budget twitter.com/SabraLane/stat…
A lovely day ahead in the Blue Mountains, but @CARROT_app is creeping me out. pic.twitter.com/5f1m5xm3Sd
@Matt_Ros @mjrowland68 Sounds like a good plan.
@twiddlekins @jpwarren @kcarruthers That’s a long servicing.
GrogsGamut @russellmahoney I hate budget papers
russellmahoney @GrogsGamut Or a cut they don’t want to talk about just before an election? Or do I have that wrong?
GrogsGamut The most likely reason is previously they took a decision to spend the money but not announce it; now they have tak..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Uk
GrogsGamut Normally this category is a big annanounced war chest but this time it is a big unannounced saving. Had me totally..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…cm
GrogsGamut The “decisions taken not yet announced” stumped me. It is nearly $3bn worth of spending they have decided not to do..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…PR
@Matt_Ros @mjrowland68 It’s old slang now, probably not well known. macquariedictionary.com.au/resources/aus/…
NewtonMark Just stop and think for a minute about how _obscene_ it is that someone on an income of $200,000 can rake in an $11..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tL
NewtonMark Within that decade, people earning more than $200,000 pa get in excess of $11,000 pa worth of tax-cuts, and unemplo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Lt
@wolfcat @mjrowland68 The grammar of TV news has some curious structures.
@rgmerk @jpwarren @kcarruthers She is wise in these matters.
@mjrowland68 OMFG! @mjrowland68 has thrown his earpiece! HE’S GONE ROGUE! I REPEAT, HE’S GONE ROGUE!
@mjrowland68 In fact, why travel all the way to Canberra to stand outside the building and listen to the Prime Mini..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sz
We spent $1.1 billion on Parliament House, Canberra, and it has heating, so why is Scott Morrison standing in a cou..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sz
TAX MONKEY!
@jpwarren @kcarruthers It’s Oracle, so I’m sure they know what they’re doing.
@aggerchez Thanks. Someone pointed me to that story yesterday. We have more train chaos, but some interesting archa..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…fE
@ArmsControlWonk Thanks, Jeffrey. One of my greatest unsung achievements was as technology consultant to a TV thril..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0p
@kcarruthers Oracle is doing special things, Kate. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Me at @zdnetaustralia Friday, a piece people seem to be enjoying: “Data science, ethics, and the ‘massive scumbags’..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…kL
Me at @zdnetaustralia Tuesday: “Sharpened call for an Australian cyber civil defence organisation” zdnet.com/article/sharpe…
You have my sympathies. twitter.com/BreakfastNews/…
Wednesday. Oranges. Pears. Gherkins. Wednesday.