patstokes The Australian Democrats are back! Just like all those other times they announced they were back, and boy they sure..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bg
StephenJonesMP @samanthamaiden Has anyone seen @kevinandrewsmp and @CaptainGetUp in the same room?
You know it makes sense. pic.twitter.com/bs2L5LwtGR
teigngardener Osama bin Laden sent people round our house and told us to stop playing Portishead on a Friday afternoon. He had a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2A
So, um, there’s this. @Pollytics @dobes twitter.com/antfarmer/stat…
@_midofo_ JFC.
IPA Man is more or less like Nyan Cat but shits coal instead of rainbows.
Right now some brain genius at Labor HQ is sketching out a design for IPA Man.
GreenJ Yes, it’s a coal-driven ute.
Game. Over. pic.twitter.com/z0zfQ4kWFQ
Does Captain GetUp have a ute?
AntonyGreenABC Wondering if Captain Getup is based on the NZ Electoral Commission’s Orange Guy youtu.be/45Fyt5wU6JI via @YouTube
jonkudelka It’s only funny until captain getup gets the numbers and rolls Scott as leader.
JeremyCShipp Literary fiction is when someone is sad. Genre fiction is when someone is sad and there is a ghost or a robot.
edbott Please don’t tell @DevinNunes. pic.twitter.com/qOrOcRSNxv
@dannyjpalmer @dobes I have no idea what I’m saying any more.
@dannyjpalmer @dobes See, I’d fuck that, whereas Captain GetUp seems a bit of a skank.
paperghost 1950s: I hope we get flying cars
2019: you can fuck a bin twitter.com/AngryManTV/sta…
russellmahoney How bad do you reckon your seat polling needs to be before you think “ok I’ll give a Captain Getup a call” pic.twitter.com/XGW76Xed8h
Idealaw GETUP is of course a registered trade mark owned by Getup Ltd in class 35, so this could get interesting. pic.twitter.com/pHz9AUClSj
@dobes I don’t know, but now I’m wondering whether Advance Australia is actually another Al Jazeera false flag operation.
jonkudelka Captain getup is in every respect the superhero we deserve.
@_midofo_ @Manic_Henry I am beyond caring and I’m just revelling in the atrociousness of it all.
@JohnBirmingham Except that’s not the right one.
Way ahead of you, JB. @JohnBirmingham twitter.com/JohnBirmingham…
@R_Chirgwin Fire is pretty basic technology, Richard. In fact, it’s wheely old.
paulkidd Can’t wait to read the #CaptainGetUp / #EggBoy slashfic.
@NewtonMark @NBN_Australia There was much talk of coverage pattens and the like, but the Senator asking the questio..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…RR
NewtonMark TCP more or less can’t function with 7% packet loss. This whole thing smacks of a wireless network designed by RF e..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xS
@Manic_Henry I was thinking something like that. But the production is SO bad, and the whole concept so scattered.
@DavidFeng You are very silly.
@GreenJ Relevant? youtube.com/watch?v=Nnjh-z…
I shouldn’t have started that. I’m too distracted for further puns.
@bigbadave Heh. Indeed.
Exactly. twitter.com/WarWraith/stat…
We should really amp up this campaign while it’s still current. Hah! Watt was I even thinking? twitter.com/GreenJ/status/…
GreenJ Stop The Volts.
@aimee_maree @PeteLawler That is indeed awesome!
NickEvershed just confirmed a reader tipoff that a Captain Getup FB page is paying $$$ for sponsored ads on Facebook already 🙏 i..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ir
@aimee_maree @PeteLawler (Yes I did actually look that up.)
@aimee_maree @PeteLawler It’s true. Pete set up one of the very first payroll systems. The workers were paid in bee..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…VQ
@aimee_maree @PeteLawler Well I did once. Before it was abolished. As for the abolition of physics, well, that was..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…37
@sylmobile @19bk69 @stufromoz @trentyarwood Hmmm. That’s not reassuring.
@19bk69 @stufromoz @trentyarwood Erk.
Thanks to @GordyPls I’ve run out of enthusiasm for the Captain GetUp avatar and I’m back with the heatmapped quoll..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bg
@JustJimWillDo @dobes Wow.
@dobes Probably too subtle for people. I’m trying to think of something with “copper” in it, but I’m not trying very hard.
“Anatomy Of A Wet Fart: The Rise And Fall Of Captain GetUp” pedestrian.tv/news/captain-g…
@19bk69 @stufromoz @trentyarwood That’s what I’d thought, thank you. I had a nasty, nasty cold about that time, tho..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…N9
@dobes No marks for “Turnboolean”.
“Labor faces reality on NBN but the dream died long ago,” writes @dobes. zdnet.com/article/labor-… “Liberal party may..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Wm
@rbrdnkmp @liamvhogan Cruelly robbed.
That helped.
Having a bit of a lie-down.
anthonydever Okay. I’ll say it. I’d have sex with Captain GetUp if he/she/it/them/they were up for it.
liamvhogan I’ve just had a horrible thought. It’s probably not Mark Latham in the Captain Getup suit, but the chances aren’t zero
@trentyarwood Bugger. Well my gut feeling is that next week is too early, so I’ll leave it a couple more. Unless I..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…KM
I wonder if Captain GetUp can deliver Viagra. Like Uber Eats but for limp dicks.
Now playing: “Theme From S.W.A.T.” youtube.com/watch?v=LHDg96…
jonkudelka I feel like captain getup is only a very temporary low point of the next few weeks.
@tshanahan83 @glengyron Oh dear God please don’t cross the streams like that. (I’ve also managed to avoid knowing a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xJ
CaseyBriggs for the ninth day this month, the election campaign has “all but kicked off” today
@trentyarwood I was thinking of leaving it for a few weeks yet, or are we having One Of Those Years?
AngryManTV Lined up, ready for donors. pic.twitter.com/CqQmNI1vWX
AngryManTV A Chinese company says its automatic sperm extractor is helping clinics collect semen from donors reluctant to mast..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yp
CptHollingworth I ain’t proud. pic.twitter.com/HJQxoHgJ4b
AFlanagan *removes latex head Scooby Doo style to reveal…..Gerard Henderson twitter.com/CaptGetUp/stat…
@jeamland Yes, yes…
@cjjosh He’s quite special, I reckon.
@liamvhogan Well he has to wait for Major Catastrophe to retire.
antonyjfunnell A must watch - selling access to politicians - a Clarke and Dawe skit from 2012 that still has resonance…..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3V
Should anyone need a new avatar… pic.twitter.com/2FnLIkWmaV
anthonydever “IT. IS. NOT. A. PROPERTY. BUBBLE.”
- every real estate agent, property developer, home loan broker, listings webs..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…L7
Hardly anyone is watching broadcast TV then anyway, so it’d be money wasted. Except maybe for sporting events, whic..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Rq
zoeinthecities *closes twitter*
*immediately re-opens twitter, as if there might be a different internet*
@MatthewBevan Now you might SAY that, but you know deep in your heart…
FluffSocial A snow leopard makes an attack! pic.twitter.com/cnWjAjK3vF
adam_turner Telstra is calling for a “level playing field” for telcos #LMFAO pic.twitter.com/uHepjuZXe4
Wait. This Captain GetUp thing. Wasn’t Crusader Rabbit advertising for unpaid interns to do campaign work?
WhoIsPM The time is April 09, 2019 at 02:31PM and the Prime Minister of Australia is Scott Morrison.
@elronxenu I have no idea what that is, so probably not.
@nickzoic Well, it is. Now.
@iiTalW @dobes Also… pic.twitter.com/ITe3H5kANM
@iiTalW @dobes So many friends in the media, so many people incapable of making evan halfway professional media.
@dobes The great thing is they’re tagging it with the aus pol hash tag so only the broekns will see it. (Unless, li..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…US
This is fuckin’ hilariously bad. @dobes will love it. twitter.com/CaptGetUp/stat…
@cxi RTYI. twitter.com/D_resists/stat…
“No smoking, no tattoos, no bikinis: inside China’s war to ‘clean up’ the internet” scmp.com/tech/policy/ar…
@egadsthefuzz I’ve never found it to be particularly cold inside the building, and it’s certainly not cold in Canberra today.
All my advice is good advice. twitter.com/jeamland/statu…
@dobes @drearyclocks I think we need to consider the role of the seagulls in all this.
The number appears to be 91 order so. Thanks, everyone.
May I draw everyone’s attention to the inaugural European Gull Screeching Championship, held in Adinkerke, Belgium,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…lU
Oh FFS. twitter.com/KerrieYaxley/s…
How many hours is it until Brexit now?
The Carb-On tax tweet is back! twitter.com/SenatorCash/st…
@PeteLawler We should outlaw all knowledge.
@rgmerk Intent versus result. :)
@jetztgibtshaue Oh they’ll pay. They’ll pay!
@dobes @jetztgibtshaue Ideally, yes.
@dobes Please don’t make me cry.
This is always a bonus. pic.twitter.com/2GtrXaVWia
I can’t cope with this any more. #estimates
That ravine is getting more appealing by the minute. #estimates
So here’s the tweet that Michaelia Cash deleted. we must preserve this magic. twitter.com/GrogsGamut/sta…
VictoriaPolice Police have charged 40 people, including two 17-year-olds and a 15-year-old, following a protest in the CBD yesterd..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1H
@WarWraith Not yet, but I feel like it’s getting closer as the minutes pass.
RanTLaw Everything, from the campaign against EVs to this latest brainfart, suggests the conservatives know they can’t do m..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Qq
Maybe this is dietary advice and a slogan for people needing to gain weight. “Carb On!”
Oh dear God everything is..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gB
THEY ARE TRYING TO EXPLAIN PACKET LOSS TO HER. #estimates
GrogsGamut “Car-Bon” Yep, things are that stupid twitter.com/SenatorCash/st…
Oh dear God, Senator Anne Urquhart is now asking how congestion occurs in fixed wireless networks and I want to hur..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ip
ScottRhodie That woman who recorded the video saying if you write stuff on your ballot paper and can sack the government is unh..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ap
@scott_thewspot @BundyB @dobes We are all holograms, Scott.
dobes MacDonald will not be missed from estimates twitter.com/Paul_Karp/stat…
rabbitandcoffee Hoping Captain GetUp can try to do this with as many cameras as possible around to film it. twitter.com/worldwidewob/s…
@dobes Well to have one would be a good first goal.
@dobes I think I heard someone say that earlier.
Well Minister Fifield definitely* has the air of a man across his subject matter. #estimates
@dobes Must be why he’s stumbling to answer the question.
Wow just SO much helping from Malcolm today! twitter.com/JoshButler/sta…
@iiTalW Nevertheless there should have been cake.
Today is NBN’s 10th birthday but this bloke didn’t even bring cake. #estimates
“Our progress hasn’t always been smooth,” says NBN bossfella. Uhuh. #estimates
NBN up. #estimates
@dobes He should stand as an independent for the Senate.
“DTA hanging back from blockchain hype to avoid picking betamax-chain” by @dobes, who is having a lovely morning. zdnet.com/article/dta-ha…
@dobes Malcolm is always helping.
juhasaarinen My timeline’s much too quiet today so here goes. twitter.com/tilbots/status…
dellcam Someone spoofed my dad’s phone number, called him & said they were with <phone company>, and that they’d heard he’d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…51
CoughlanMatt Australian Naval Infrastructure boss David Knox tables a photo taken by a drone. Centre Alliance’s Rex Patrick asks..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ti
duckbytheoboe Fun #Estimates fact: until the mid 90s, Estimates hearings regularly ran way past midnight.
SquigglyRick Malcolm Turnbull launching On Violence by Natasha Stott Despoja. “There is a lot of government advertising on at th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…5H
dobes @BundyB @mattjhatton He is full of good* takes
twitter.com/dobes/status/1…
Raf_Epstein Boot boy twitter.com/brendandonohoe…
“Another NBN review floated as Labor plan to ‘make best of what we have’,” writes @dobes zdnet.com/article/anothe… “A..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qe
@natecochrane This is quite true.
Wong: “Should we get ASC Ltd to this hearing]?”
Cormann: “You can’t…”
Wong: “Oh I can do a lot of things.”
#estimates
@dobes Counterpoint: I should not.
Meanwhile, in another committee room, Senator Penny Wong is already over it. #estimates pic.twitter.com/BFcAqTIS6W
These senators really are the C-Team. #estimates
@alexdante We don’t know yet whether Leyonhjelm will get a spot, because it’s down to preferences, but so far he’s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Mh
@alexdante This is Senator Duncan Spender, who just replaced Senator David Leyonhjelm for the Liberal Democrats, be..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…FF
@dobes He seems to have trouble with the words in the actual Act. Also with what is already in the Broadcasting Ser..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xe
Also this. #estimates twitter.com/dobes/status/1…
Scarf Boy is on about sadomasochism websites again. #estimates
The first four words here are kinda #timelesstweet territory. twitter.com/samanthamaiden…
dobes This election is going to be the absolute worst twitter.com/samanthamaiden…
@CherylRofer @NuclearAnthro Hurtling towards a laser sounds… ill-advised.
CherylRofer Not to be outdone by Russia’s vaporware… twitter.com/Raytheon/statu…
I’m torn. Do I switch to the Finance & Public Administration Legislation Committee for the combat, or stay with Com..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…OS
@BundyB We’re talking about politicians here…
@dobes Of course. I had a weirdness with it the other night, but I haven’t needed to figure that out yet.
@dobes But how good is the new Parlwork live agenda!
@dobes I’ve had the surgery.
@BundyB It’s not a commercial thing, so not trade, so not a trademark. You could go them for deception, I guess. IANAL.
@dobes I have decided to listen to bits of it, because I am a sad fuck.
I have, however, switched to the Environment and Communications Legislation Committee and here’s the program…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…a4
In the Legal and Constitutional Affairs Legislation Committee, just before they cut off a procedural thing, I heard..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…d1
@EpsenSvendsen [Bows]
For those of you desperate to watch our democracy at work… #estimates twitter.com/AuSenate/statu…
Well Senate Estimates looks like more fun today. aph.gov.au/~/media/Estima… (PDF) #estimates
@EpsenSvendsen Correct.
BTW, at the end of this yarn is the explanation of the ice cream in the Cormann-Wong Debates yesterday…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xJ
@NuclearAnthro [Nods] This does sound like a roughly equivalent way of viewing the world, but through different len..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…HJ
@rohan_p @liamvhogan @purserj @davidgerard @dobes @egadheg I’M CONFUSED WHAT AM I MEANT TO BE HUFFING.
@rohan_p @liamvhogan @purserj @davidgerard @dobes @egadheg I’m confused. Are we putting wombats on the blockchain now?
@BreakfastNews Unless they were thinking of the Erinsborough Military Tattoo. Now THAT would be something to behold!
I’d thought that @BreakfastNews might delete that tweet, so here’s a picture.
(Sorry, folks, but you’ve got to adm..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Vb
“At GetUp we really know what’s best for you.” Just lie back and think of Captain GetUp! pic.twitter.com/0W6EyuupKF
Having a sook because a short time ago I left a ” out of a tweet.
@NuclearAnthro Sociolinguistics goes with all that anthropology bullshit I guess, yeah. ;)
Oh FFS. pic.twitter.com/J6ozrfNgpH
Quack.
We regret to inform you that Nate Silver is a duck.
Also, Nate Silver uses the word “cuck”? Now I know most of you haven’t studied sociolinguistics, but the term “soci..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…JS
@liamvhogan @purserj @davidgerard @dobes @egadheg @rohan_p Wait, the wombats did this?
@onthemedia @SnarkyPlatypus Meanwhile… twitter.com/nils_gilman/st…
@davidgerard @BundyB @dobes @liamvhogan @purserj @rohan_p Gotcha. pic.twitter.com/ZlXvofoLsl
matthew_d_green So basically she was @travisgoodspeed. twitter.com/kylegriffin1/s…
@dobes The first five words would have been enough.
@maldamkar Goodness me.
True fact. twitter.com/purserj/status…
That’s a shame. They should’ve got the even more famous one from Edinburgh. twitter.com/BreakfastNews/…
@techoglot @drspacejunk Ah, yes well.
Soviet Electric Pink Batts! smh.com.au/politics/feder… Also, “Self-styled ‘modern Liberals’”! pic.twitter.com/pZTjaFzQ4g
@techoglot @drspacejunk She means Moon Cocaine.
It’s easy to forget just how strong America’s isolationist streak has been. pic.twitter.com/dagsfjJrPE
@BundyB @dobes @liamvhogan @davidgerard @purserj @rohan_p I WANT MY HUFFING KITTEN.
@dobes @liamvhogan @davidgerard @purserj @rohan_p Also if you’ve got huffing kittens then pass ‘em around.
Yes, we must cater for the sort of chap who likes watching animals being slaughtered all day, because that would de..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…TJ
@dobes @liamvhogan @davidgerard @purserj @rohan_p I like “trending” and “at the moment” being used together, becaus..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…X0
@dobes @davidgerard @purserj @rohan_p Only if I can give a bit of a friendly squeeze.
dobes hahahahahahahahhaahahahahaha twitter.com/John_Hanna/sta…
BOM_NSW Expecting some flooding to begin in parts of #NSW from today. Satellites show water moving from Qld after TC Trevor..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gQ
I suppose I shouldn’t complain, because the Crimson Rosella (Platycercus elegans) is a beautiful bird. But they are..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Dc
I would like the crimson jerkbirds up in that tree there [points] to stop ripping apart seeds and throwing the unap..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…H4
@paulwallbank I haven’t been to North Sydney since mid-February.
@onthemedia @SnarkyPlatypus As Molly would say, “Do yourself a favour.”
@onthemedia @SnarkyPlatypus Last night I said you should all listen to @onthemedia’s “Empire State of Mind” on the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sL
@liamvhogan Possibly dumber.
@liamvhogan Conversely, I would support this proposal by @gevauden. twitter.com/gevauden/statu…
@liamvhogan Well this is all basically un-Australian and cannot be allowed to happen.
@kcarruthers LEAD POISONING FOR EVERYBODY.
@kcarruthers It’s traditional for Port Pirie kids to have lead poisoning. theconversation.com/lead-poisoning… The city even has..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…c5
It me! twitter.com/paulwallbank/s…
Tue plan, draft: Having worked very late last night, today will be an easier day. I’ll work my way gently through a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…YR
Well here we go..pic.twitter.com/bYL2sR25LoLo
Tuesday. They march towards you in long, tired lines, their webbed feet glistening in the morning sunlight. Tuesday.
@franksting Yeah that’s much better. :) Also, the cops have a “fixated persons unit”, which is good to know.
@dobes Hah! Beautiful.
US & AU: “We don’t want your stuff you’ll spy on us.”
UK: “We don’t want your stuff it’s shit.”
I’ve finished. Oh, it’s after midnight. I guess I’d better pour a whisky.