@SlavicHorde Mate, I’m not an animal.
Have you noticed how good gin is?
@MrNixonsWife @jonkudelka Is it the jelly? It’s usually the jelly.
Counterpoint: Let him do it, because I’m fuckin’ over it. twitter.com/RichardTuffin/…
Way ahead of you, @jonkudelka. twitter.com/jonkudelka/sta…
@WarWraith Wot? I am a GREAT friend.
Messaging all my UK friends to say “HAHAHAHA suck shit!”.
@Ingeegoodbee You are quite correct. I am not worthy.
NewtonMark It’s July. twitter.com/smh/status/115…
NewtonMark That doesn’t seem like a lot. If I stole a credit card I’d rip off at least ten times that much. The dude showed re..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…JW
@RealNickHodge @tacticalmaid She doesn’t realise how good she’s got it.
@RealNickHodge @tacticalmaid The young are so innocent…
@RealNickHodge Wow.
@smartbrain What’s your problem, Don?
New @JonathanPieNews: “Pie on High Speed Rail” youtube.com/watch?v=lQUgln… Obviously recorded before the Boris Johnson news.
edbott “I call it … The Aristocrats!” twitter.com/paul__johnson/…
stilgherrian PLEASE RETWEET. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
stilgherrian STAR TREK POLL: Would you volunteer to shave Jean-Luc Picard’s pubes?
Look, we all knew it was going to be Boris, and we’ve known that for at least a year, so stop being such sooks.
In slightly more important news, @gathgwyn has conned us into giving him two dinners.
Hurrah! It’s Prime Minister Boris Johnston! twitter.com/MarkDiStef/sta…
Shane_J_Young @JonathanPieNews I wouldn’t put it past our new Prime Minister to sneak into a charity fete without paying, cheat t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…j8
JonathanPieNews Oh look, one of the cunts won #NextPrimeMinister
This is best without any context. twitter.com/ashabeeeee/sta…
@dbph Never watched it so no view on that one.
@DavidFeng Is it once? I saw someone say the Sydney Metro just beeps once. I have a recording but I haven’t listened back yet.
Just quietly, @Herring1967’s RHLSTP special with Rob Rouse is particularly weird and silly. pca.st/8r65
@PlatypusDead @DavidFeng I can see it being declared a suburb, or at least a “locality”, once there’s some residential building nearby.
@PlatypusDead @DavidFeng No, but it is a place. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tallawong…
@DavidFeng WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST TALLAWONG?
@_midofo_ @PlatypusDead “The name Summer Hill is thought to be a name chosen by the land sub-divider, presumably ba..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xg
@PlatypusDead @_midofo_ There’s some magnificent old upper middle class houses through there.
@PlatypusDead @_midofo_ And I alight one further station west. Though yes, I have alighted at the Hill of Dead Pets.
Passing the Hill of Dead Pets.
naomi_long 1. It wasn’t frictionless re-entry, hence the heat shields
2. It wasn’t “hand-knitted” code, but complex, cutting-e..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…i9
… and so I wrote to a newspapertwitter.com/GuardianAus/st…TV
jpwarren The ombudsman recommended the AFP quarantine all telecommunications data obtained under the 116 authorisations, whi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ys
Lemahieu says Australia may be overplaying the threat of China in the South Pacific. “As a Belgian, I understand th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…5R
I got my question on the cyber chart. Since all this stuff is SEKRIT SQRRL it’s based on a survey of experts. “Do n..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qG

These influence maps are amazing. This one shows how often countries vote the same way as China at the UN. pic.twitter.com/Et9YwTIzev
This year you can drill down and change the weightings if you reckon they’ve emphasised the wrong things…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…V5
That’s in one year. The first Asia Power Index was last year and this is the second. I hope you can get your headli..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…u7
The increase in China’s economy since the last report was the same size as Australia’s whole economy.
The analyst sees the US decline accelerating under the current administration as China is growing. But China has ma..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…X4

And we’re in. pic.twitter.com/hVkUWU15IC
@roseannebyrne Tsk tsk.
Maybe there don’t need to be any stupid reality shows about cooking.
@GreenJ @nonstoptom I knew a hard chef once, and it… wait, no, never mind.
Maybe they could merge MasterChef with The Katering Show.
@LowyInstitute In fact, the podcast from the Melbourne session of “Mapping power in Asia” is already online. soundcloud.com/lowyinstitute/…
@LowyInstitute Dunno how much I’ll tweet yet. Usually at these things I’m more engrossed in listening and taking no..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…aX
Coming up at 1800 AEST is “Mapping power in Asia” at @LowyInstitute myaccount.lowyinstitute.org/events/sydney-…. It’s a discussion of t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…AO
Well who doesn’t like a bit of role-play? twitter.com/joshgnosis/sta…
“Police made illegal metadata searches and obtained invalid warrants targeting journalists,” because of course they..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Pf
Good God no, not Maggie Beer.
Longshanks1307 Absolutely true. Before 2008 historians would refer to the Tower of Whatsitsname and the Great Fire near Essex. twitter.com/AdamBienkov/st…
“Data retention costs Australian telcos upwards of AU$210 million to date: Law enforcement agencies have stumped up..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…NW
NuclearAnthro I would name nuclear warplans after my Little Pony Characters.
“We estimate Sparkles will kill 100 million people..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…32
@dobes Only on brown people.
@benpobjie Same. And I’m not even watching the show.
@dobes I think that’s my highlight for the day.
@dobes Or maybe a double-ended dildo, the Picardbaris.
@dobes That or vice versa, sure.
Maybe I should name a new range of dildos “The Colombaris”.
Goddammit Ian Turpie is dead.
@dobes Mate. Leo Sayer or GTFO.
BrianLynch My son discovered @WBLooneyTunes this week and loves them.
He also is knee-deep in HARRY POTTER so he created “Hog..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Xw
Truly, if you watch that program you’re a fuckin’ idiot. A waste of carbon atoms.
Imagine if the reason MasterChef eventually gets cancelled isn’t that it’s complete bullshit and an indictment on t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GN
“Leaked docs allege Huawei helped build North Korea’s 3G wireless networks: Report” by @campbell_kwan zdnet.com/article/leaked…
Very @jpwarren content. twitter.com/find_evil/stat…
dobes imagen Masterchef, but at least one judge is not a man, and they all pay their staff properly
Same, robot, same. twitter.com/snurbbotinfo/s…
snurbbotinfo Ooh, new research paper, without using Twitter? LOL.
Oppo has created “the world’s first travelling 5G powered smart hotel — The OPPO 5G Hotel.” Or as I prefer to call.twitter.com/i/web/status/1…G2A
@CptHollingworth @expectproblems Well this takes things in an unexpected direction. twitter.com/michaelbousque…
“Woman who egged Scott Morrison sentenced to community work” abc.net.au/news/2019-07-2…
“Owner mocked after seagull reportedly flies off with teacup chihuahua” abc.net.au/news/2019-07-2…
Here we go. “Britain to form maritime posse to fight Iranian ‘state piracy’” abc.net.au/news/2019-07-2…
Tue plan, remainder: Late lunch in Haymarket; keep an eye open for any needed Health Patrol activities; 1745 “Mappi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nX
Skelpyy Telling people “I don’t want kids”:
-“You’ll change your mind one day”
-“When you meet the right person…”
-“You d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sm
Only because they never list my podcast. twitter.com/JaneHolley48/s…

maniscalco_carl This is some superb political cartooning. pic.twitter.com/igQSXQitbf
MaxBoot The president is linking to the Twitter feed of a “Dolphin & Whale Retreats Facilitator” (he meant to link to a Fox..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ew
@CptHollingworth The POLL is the important part.
dobes I did not have this in the Armageddon poll twitter.com/tictoc/status/…
Maybe @CptHollingworth and @expectproblems could retweet this for a more representative* sample.
* I have no idea..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nZ
@elronxenu Thanks. No news so far today is good news.

Megatronic13 Husband: now that the kids are asleep, what do you want to do?? 😏
Me: pic.twitter.com/SHzG06pZjI

Epigrammist @NewtonMark The ALP arriving at parliament this morning. pic.twitter.com/9EdlQHudX1
PLEASE RETWEET. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
STAR TREK POLL: Would you volunteer to shave Jean-Luc Picard’s pubes?
This makes sense, so I think we need a poll… twitter.com/Top_level_Ted/…
I wonder if Picard shaves his pubes.
What we need now is the “Star Trek: Picard Wig Generator” app. twitter.com/dawnstarau/sta…
This is probably it, actually. twitter.com/glengyron/stat…
Maybe the Klingons bombed all the Ashley & Martin Medical Hair Loss Centres. Or they stopped playing cricket.
I’m not sure which year Star Trek is set in, but I’m always amazed that they haven’t developed a cure for male pattern baldness.
AequoEtBono Australia has “the 110th most flexible IR system in the OECD” according to the Wild Child, which must come as a sur..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…OO
“AFP wants a system to collect social and political info to aid police operations” zdnet.com/article/afp-wa…

How a Valet Parking Employee Quits After Making $3,632,961 Online During Lunch,” @dobes. pic.twitter.com/idfzwi1nxh
@dobes @tacticalmaid I have HFC where I am staying in Ashfield and I am kinda coping.
@PeteLawler @dobes @ashabeeeee @rohan_p @davidgerard Why is @dobes determined to make me cry?
That was a much-needed sleep-in. Still tired, but struggling into consciousness now.
Our Health Patrol charge was hospitalised overnight and that may be extended. We’ll find out later today.
Tue plan, outline draft: Keep it basic, poking at minor tasks, until there’s news that leads to Health Patrol activ..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ML
@dobes Did you find it?

I’m finally starting to understand how this Sydney winter is working. pic.twitter.com/OkTvkr0uka
Tuesday. Replace all office staplers with small frogs and appreciate the improvement in productivity. Tuesday.