I think I’ll go away now.
Picketer You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
Picketer My favourite piece of Australian corruption was the time Russ Hinze built a highway off ramp directly to a drive th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…o7
@JustJimWillDo @SnarkyPlatypus @dobes Er, no.
tom_tanuki I only share this to assist Victoria Police in reopening their investigation into this, as they clearly fucked it u..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…TP
tom_tanuki Also attached is a screenshot of him commenting with a Pepe pic, perhaps the most well-worn alt-right meme of all…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…RH
tom_tanuki Remember when VicPol said they checked with Senior Constable Travis Gray (the 👌🏻 cop) and that he was just doing an..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ow
@jonkudelka Yeah it does seem like a lot of work.
@jonkudelka Good thing you never wanted to be a ballerina.
@JM77 Meh. You can get this shit off the shelf.
Nice day for it. twitter.com/vicemergency/s…
SnarkyPlatypus Really if we could make cops into payroll enforcers, we could kill two birds with one stone
I saw earlier that someone had done the arithmetic re Woolworths. Divide the total by the number of affected employ..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ym
stilgherrian The majority of millionaires have expensive homes. Why not take them away? twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
JonoH Then drop in the fryer for 3-5 minutes pic.twitter.com/WlrQ0Iinjp
Wot. Attn: @SnarkyPlatypus. twitter.com/EVTimOZ/status…
This via the SMH. Does Woolworths’ executive team know that you can get software that does all the staff rostering..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wU
stilgherrian “Today Darren’s diarrhoea will be giving the bathroom an invigorating spiced pineapple scent.”
stilgherrian I assume this works by getting each member of your family to shove a different one up their arse. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
stilgherrian Are you worried that your toilet smells the same each time you flush it? Well worry no more! pic.twitter.com/OtOFUbRGBa
stilgherrian Singapore, the Island that Taste Forgot. twitter.com/joelpmichael/s…
@bradmac_nz I have literally no idea what that means.
Re this tweet, here’s the source. twitter.com/acnewsitics/st… pic.twitter.com/tAKpManHQF
acnewsitics Jesus fucking Christ… pic.twitter.com/PCkvRfkDwQ
@JustJimWillDo Good.
@JustJimWillDo Please stop.
@NewtonMark @JustJimWillDo @itgrrl @Rainmaker1973 Seems an expensive way to come up with the premise for a podcast.
@JustJimWillDo Also, that’s a canon, not a fugue.
@JustJimWillDo Wow. Just wow.
@SnarkyPlatypus @aleeb88 @SuperCroup Bet you wouldn’t be.
@aleeb88 @SuperCroup @SnarkyPlatypus I saw your commentary yesterday and someone needs to hose you down. (That said, I do see your point.)
@JustJimWillDo Yep. Though I appreciate that “Die Kunst der Fuge” is an acquired taste.
Hey @NewtonMark do you know this planet? twitter.com/I_Find_Planets…
Bach kinda knew what he was doing, eh.
GooseInfosec HONK?
HONK
HONK
HONK
HONK
HONK twitter.com/ZiggyTheHamste…
@JonoH @galumay @Teusnerwine I believe these people are cousins of mine of some kind. Mind you, so is half the Barossa.
@SnarkyPlatypus Plus, you know, who the fuck knows.
@SnarkyPlatypus “Elimination half-life 33 hours”, so it won’t happen quickly.
@dobes @ashabeeeee @drearyclocks @BinAnimals @dvcotton When a man gives you cushion covers, you know what that means.
@ashabeeeee @dobes @drearyclocks @BinAnimals Will I though?
@SnarkyPlatypus Surely they told you that it’ll take a week for the change to take hold?
@dobes @drearyclocks @ashabeeeee @BinAnimals Someone must really hate you.
@NewtonMark @itgrrl @Rainmaker1973 There’s nothing wrong with a bit of affection.
BBWxVEE fellow sex workers, save this pic to your phones. Send it whenever a guy sends you an unsolicited dick pic. twitter.com/sir_vagtam/sta…
Imagine if Matt Canavan was dumb.
@dobes Total class.
gths Hating Halloween because it’s American (ikr) is the weirdest boomer reactionaryism
@mattjhatton @SnarkyPlatypus @coldsnacks @swearyanthony If you have a driver’s license then the Photo Card is cheap..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Vc
@NewtonMark @itgrrl @Rainmaker1973 High wing loading or not, that is still very close.
HOW DARE PEOPLE TODAY HAVE A KIND OF FUN THAT I DIDN’T HAVE AS CHILD.
Rupert Murdoch invented tooth decay.
A thread of people whinging that the world has changed and how dare it. (Also that Coca Cola created the image of S..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…j0
People do know that Hallowe’en was yesterday, right?
@JustJimWillDo @SnarkyPlatypus Mate, that’s still out of bounds I reckon.
@SnarkyPlatypus @JustJimWillDo Is this like an episode of The Block?
The majority of millionaires have expensive homes. Why not take them away? twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
Histreepix British soldier prepares for his last wank. Neuve Chapelle, 1915. pic.twitter.com/mJpS2ynRDO
@SnarkyPlatypus I can already see @SuperCroup as one of the contestants.
See, this is the face-saving work that sex workers do for you. Also, WIPE YOUR GODDAM ARSE. twitter.com/fesshole/statu…
@R_Chirgwin Hahaha that’s such a classic I-met-Don-Dunstan story. :)
@MatthewBevan @SnarkyPlatypus I’m glad that I had to Google that.
garthk /r/relationships, I (74M) did a cartoon for a national newspaper accusing mothers of child neglect and now everyone..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…V8
@itgrrl @Rainmaker1973 @NewtonMark This is slightly insane.
@R_Chirgwin I only me Don a couple of times, but he was one of nature’s gentlemen.
iamsosorry We already know what sexy Fred Flinstone looks like, thanks twitter.com/popcrave/statu… pic.twitter.com/i3RywogMOe
@R_Chirgwin He was caught shorts?
They train for this. twitter.com/JustJimWillDo/…
patstokes Might already have an inkling how and why, since you mention it. twitter.com/VictoriaPolice…
stephanfaris This thread goes on and on and it’s wonderful twitter.com/nick_kapur/sta…
SnarkyPlatypus Australian commercial TV eh pic.twitter.com/PHA8YlVYse
@techoglot @juhasaarinen @JustJimWillDo @abcadelaide Already there.
@juhasaarinen @techoglot @JustJimWillDo @abcadelaide I have made a gin and tonic.
@juhasaarinen @techoglot @JustJimWillDo @abcadelaide I have updated my blog post accordingly.
@techoglot @juhasaarinen @JustJimWillDo @abcadelaide Dongguan Duck.
jonkudelka Low point of the week is everyone’s talking about a cartoon that, all other criticisms aside, is a stunningly lazy effort.
@techoglot @juhasaarinen @JustJimWillDo @abcadelaide Who can say? Chinese ducks. Inscrutable.
@juhasaarinen @JustJimWillDo @abcadelaide The story here is that Huawei has ducks at their campus.
@SnarkyPlatypus @Rhys_Needham Word, what ever are they? (I may have missed what what about which.)
@ScottRhodie @abcadelaide I did work for @abcadelaide for many years. I can turn around this stuff fairly quickly. ;)
@juhasaarinen @abcadelaide No, it is not Adelaide. Are you a bit… slow?
@SnarkyPlatypus @Rhys_Needham “Emigration”?
@juhasaarinen @abcadelaide No, that’s Huawei’s main campus. AS THE POST SAYS. It contains ducks.
@jonoabroad @SnarkyPlatypus The Platypus has the correct criterion for something being a word.
@ScottRhodie @abcadelaide Meh. Done it. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
NEW BLOG POST: “Talking Huawei on @abcadelaide” (13m50s audio) stilgherrian.com/conversations/… pic.twitter.com/absj58OzvB
@juhasaarinen Gently, at first, and then I give it a bit of squeeze.
Trams! twitter.com/fictillius/sta…
@ScottRhodie @abcadelaide I’ll get to that after I’ve made another drink. Because, you know, Friday.
@JustJimWillDo Blink. Blink.
@abcadelaide And the radio spot is done. I reckon I’ll post a recording of that one, because I know a lot of people would be interested.
On hold with @abcadelaide to talk Huawei. The Huawei bloke is already on the wireless.
bengrubb Happy Halloween! @myGovau pic.twitter.com/QQtTTH1wml
So that’s a yes. twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
@trout_lodge I’m not sure how this is my problem, or even a problem at all.
glengyron Who can forget Howard’s immortal words:
“If my demands are not met…” twitter.com/canberrainside…
@misosusanowa @coolauntV Isn’t that a hashish thing though?
@lawfarepodcast @evelyndouek @Klonick @apolyakova @qjurecic @SnarkyPlatypus Thanks, ladies, that was an awesome fir..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…LE
@JustJimWillDo No, it really is great. When was the last time you were there?
@SnarkyPlatypus Make sure you thread it properly then. And then you can use Threadreader to turn it into a page. Voilà! A blog post draft!
@misosusanowa @coolauntV The Sun causes menstruation?
@michaelbousquet @manicode Maybe it’s a regional thing. Or, gulp, an age thing.
lukehopewell I’ve been trying to get a digital driver licence every day since it came out @ServiceNSW. Pipe down with the email..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4b
@HillaryPolitics You’re welcome. :)
coolauntV [teaching sex ed]
me: the human menstrual cycle is 28 days long, roughly equivalent to the orbit of the moon. do w..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ij
@lawfarepodcast @evelyndouek @Klonick @apolyakova @qjurecic @SnarkyPlatypus Mind you, there’s aspects of their disc..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…IV
@SnarkyPlatypus I also got a free trial offer for Apple News. More subscription things like Apple Music.
@SnarkyPlatypus We haven’t quite hit Singapore levels yet, but give it time.
This @abcadelaide spot about Huawei is coming up in about 30 minutes. Read the thread for the background. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@iiTalW @Rob_Stott Wow. My impressions may be out of date, but the Tudor in Redfern is good, obviously, because I won it twice in one night.
@kpfaulkner I have largely given up this pastime for that reason. :)
@JustJimWillDo Well if you can be arsed typing it…
@lawfarepodcast @evelyndouek @Klonick @apolyakova @qjurecic Hahaha @SnarkyPlatypus they just listed repressive free..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…45
New series from @lawfarepodcast, “The Arbiters of Truth”, about disinformation and online speech in the lead up to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wK
@JustJimWillDo Will it be worth it though?
@JustJimWillDo Yes, yes I’m sure that was the reason.
@SnarkyPlatypus Do dogs like yoghurt rice?
People who say “relevancy” rather than “relevance” disturb me.
@SnarkyPlatypus Grabbing some yoghurt rice?
Remember that the term “mardi gras” is in my permanent mute filter.
@PollHereford @SuperCroup Ducks are pretty fresh though.
@Bobimagee Solved: What we should do with people who carry too much luggage onto an aircraft. Sadly my solution, wh..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…lw
“Today Darren’s diarrhoea will be giving the bathroom an invigorating spiced pineapple scent.”
@Viss Isn’t life wonderful!
I assume this works by getting each member of your family to shove a different one up their arse. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@SuperCroup I have no idea what that is so sure why not because I would never want to be negative.
Sigh. I’m sick of solving all the world’s problems.
Are you worried that your toilet smells the same each time you flush it? Well worry no more! pic.twitter.com/OtOFUbRGBa
Yet another story about Eric Abetz. twitter.com/ProfAbelMendez…
@fool106269 @James_Jeffrey Exactly.
@elisethoma5 @bendechrai At the risk of making it sounds like a bad pun, maybe it’s because they don’t see it? I re..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Gq
@Viss TELL THAT TO MY BRAIN.
therevmountain “I am one of the quiet editors of a national newspaper that costs $628 per annum for a digital sub” twitter.com/lukehgomes/sta…
resync The NBN Co saga continues, we were able to talk them down to $5400
They will not give us an itemised quote, only “d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gX
They should do a Vanstone and let this good boy or girl loose in the Press Gallery. twitter.com/neophema1/stat…
As always, it’s great to see @bendechrai rocking a kilt, but as an aside in Australia the ATO and Centrelink have b..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…oE
joshuabadge Now might be a good time to reflect on the fact that Morrison & Dutton can legally deploy the military against civi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xc
James_Jeffrey Be a quiet Australian or get in the van.
@jkite13 Ah yes, so I am.
@carawaters @paulwallbank As I know you both know, Australia’s “startup” sector is one of the sookiest communities..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…PY
carawaters Is it? There should be room for criticism and analysis of the startup sector not just praise twitter.com/startupsmart/s…
Timeless, etc. twitter.com/murpharoo/stat…
James_Jeffrey Philausophy gets wilder by the day twitter.com/tomwconnell/st…
@abcadelaide It’s worth noting that the The Henry Jackson Society quoted in this Nine story is “a neoconservative B..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Sy
“Cyber-attack hits Utah wind and solar energy provider” by @campuscodi zdnet.com/article/cyber-…
“First-of-its kind..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…VU
@njptower @3AW693 That’s the one. (Also, it’s pretty much every shopping centre, not just Westfield.)
@abcadelaide Related: “Australia’s Huawei ban a ‘resolved’ question: Payne” (14 Mar) zdnet.com/article/austra… So I’m..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bx
A Huawei person and then me will be talking about all this and maybe more on @abcadelaide at 1715 ACDT / 1745 AEDT,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…el
“‘Australia’s last chance’: Huawei pleads for lift in 5G ban as UK dithers” smh.com.au/business/compa…
“Huawei ban: Full timeline as FCC says it’ll cut off carriers using Chinese company’s gear” by @SpectacularSean cnet.com/news/huawei-ba…
katinacurtis Awkward silence then belated applause after the PM says “how good is mining for Australia?” in his speech to the Qu..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…h2
@Kalanyr @stirlospace @NewtonMark @swearyanthony @Telstra @NBNconcerns Good luck!
NITV An Italian tourist has returned a bottle of sand she took as a souvenir from Uluru 30 years ago bit.ly/36p3pj8
MapPornTweet Soviet Invasion of Manchuria August–September 194redd.it/cy8oidS#MapPornrpic.twitter.com/QnFvr4cRZGZG
bartman6 This has never stopped pic.twitter.com/3XCG39vJDO
@njptower @3AW693 It can also be “We gave the govt a good deal here, don’t let our other customers know.”
3AW693 Neil: How is knowing what Scott Cam is paid a threat to national security?
PM: It’s not about security, it’s about..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…86
Singapore, the Island that Taste Forgot. twitter.com/joelpmichael/s…
Carter_PE PowerPoint. twitter.com/zeroblog30/sta…
Au contraire. So many words are words of arse. twitter.com/jojojakob/stat…
Fri plan, update: It’s all going to plan. Next are the small errands in Leura; then a bit of planning; then the sho..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dt
To be fair, not all cartoonists have been dropped on their heads.
markmobility Oh hey, as @senatemajldr stalls election security aid:
An eleven-year-old hacked into a replica of the Florida elec..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Jh
@leftocentre People who care, that’s who.
@PollHereford @manicode Exactly.
@kiwibrew @moylecroft @dobes Fair point. I keep forgetting that the second A in “ACMA” stands for “unique upfuckery”.
@kiwibrew @moylecroft @dobes “I could build a 10m solid gold statue of Eric the Wonder Louse in every town of more..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0g
Why is everything that we believe to be terrible or just silly is now a “culture”? Why have we ended up with this culture culture?
@jonoabroad Particularly when your brain worm meds screw up your sleep patterns.
@nigel_castle I did not know about this, and now I do not want to know about this.
Except that we call these two things “peanut paste” and “jam”, and we don’t put them together because we’re not, we..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…EP
dobes 👏IT’S👏NOVEMBER👏HERE👏YOU👏IGNORANT👏SEPPOS👏 twitter.com/Microsoft/stat…
@reselsnark Are you on shrooms right now?
@jonoabroad Slightly, thank you. Nap was needed though.
@NewtonMark @swearyanthony So, like the NBN?
mattjhatton “lefties are intolerant because they cancel anyone that doesn’t agree with them”
*45 seconds later*
“We should us..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…7K
dobes Everything with this image is exactly as I expected pic.twitter.com/yJRsRrUPyo
Adequate nap was adequate.
erstkate The vaguely ominous entrance to ANU Physics pic.twitter.com/Jr0mKzNquP
@dobes Now they’re just making up places. pic.twitter.com/6OheqASTqb
Wait. Did Malcolm Turnbull ever get to be prime minister? I remember that he wanted to be.
@dobes Or that the NBN is for bad internets and 5G is for causing brain worms and powering chemtrail generators.
@dobes I think the complementary purposes will be that 5G works and the NBN provides a political point of contentio..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Od
There’s a lot going on here. zdnet.com/article/fletch… Minister Fletcher is truly a gift to the nation, @dobes. pic.twitter.com/CMkLN67jFa
OK nap time.
@jonoabroad No such thing.
paulwiggins Halloween 2019: News anchors in tears as meteorologist shows up in mysti… youtu.be/UHm_3HHJdAY via @YouTube
So far it looks like the plan for next week needs a little work. pic.twitter.com/BofSuGUWv3
Fri plan, confirmed: Fried rice and administrivia (done); nap (next); errands and shopping in Leura or Katoomba; pl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ix
@ClaireTheGeek Somehow this makes me happier.
I’d always assumed that Crocs were like about $5.99 or something.
Wow isn’t Amazon awesome. pic.twitter.com/XRMWSY9pN9
@JohnBirmingham Send flight tickets.
GonzoHacker 🧝♂️ Can I borrow your phone for a minute?
🤷 Can I put my fingers in your mouth for a minute?
holle_max Someone mentioned heavy snow and I said, “deuterated snow?!?” and no one laughed or acknowledged the joke. Thought it was decent.
FrankCogliano A student dressed as me for Halloween. I really don’t know what to say … pic.twitter.com/2Ru1PFz0HR
@NewtonMark @figgled Not as much as I used to, apparently. pic.twitter.com/iAUuIqHf4R
@jetztgibtshaue That could lead to a significant fare increase though.
@figgled And yet, “What’s wrong with used knickers?” (28 Dec 2007) stilgherrian.com/enmore/used_kn… @NewtonMark
mark_r_asser @glengyron @NewtonMark That’s a useful time-saving tip.
glengyron @NewtonMark Cars and buses are flammable the right way up too.
NewtonMark When police beat up and arrest non-violent protesters, they’re actually just showing everyone that the consequences..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Mg
@juhasaarinen Fuck off.
@MsLods @PaulBongiorno @7ampodcast I’ve pretty much dropped the daily news cycle and now focus on weeklies and mont..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…cx
@techoglot Though how would you get to the runway? #thesidesfelloff
@techoglot @PaulBongiorno @7ampodcast It’s a current affairs podcast, and each episode is an interview with an auth..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…At
bgzimmer “Crash blossoms” are headlines that “do accidentally what [cryptic] crossword clues do on purpose: lead readers ast..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mU
Fri plan, draft: Slow start with fried rice and administrivia; lunch, errands, and shopping in Leura or Katoomba; p..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…n2
Waiting for some arsehat to say “But what if it’s on the ground? Then the undercarriage holds up the wings” in 5… 4… 3… 2…
So, I just heard someone say that the fault in those Qantas aircraft that have been grounded was in “the part that..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ef
@PaulBongiorno @7ampodcast Just quietly, @PaulBongiorno on @7ampodcast has become my regular Friday morning treat.
Listening to @PaulBongiorno on @7ampodcast on “The surplus disease”. Describing the Morrison government as a third-..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mA
@oberonsghost That’s a curious connection, but OK I’ll go with it.
@drspacejunk @TwoSetViolin They’re the guys behind this amongst many other things, and I’m becoming a bit of a fan…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…oI
It’s difficult to wake up some mornings.
pixelatedboat Silica gel pic.twitter.com/SZeuDqBfaM
Friday. Imagine a spacecraft that worked by shooting out frozen peas, like an enormous green rabbit. Friday.