Gorn.
26% of Australians watching me wallow in custard is a workable media event.
FINAL RESULTS. Well this is most encouraging. https://t.co/0SHmbLlcNI https://t.co/um7H4hvSuR
@franksting Yeah there’s a whole range of compulsory adjectives for news reporting. All deaths are “tragicâ€. Road a… https://t.co/2WJOqOkmzH
RT @BrashsAustralia: We’re hearing a lot of panic about viruses from customers of late. With a whopping 30% of Australian households now ow…
Less than an hour left to vote! https://t.co/0SHmbLlcNI
@wheelyweb Arrroooooo!!!
kels_316 when you think about it, a sausage is just a meat banana
A screenshot in case it’s sent to the Memory Holepic.twitter.com/4qeeIS0hsNsN
“In favour of cramped flats� How selfish of them! Also, “millennials†is spelled like that, not how you have it. https://t.co/gT0roTojT1
Well here’s a solid PR pitch for International Women’s Day. Fpic.twitter.com/3fUKMippq9Mippq9
Full Moon is in 8 hours, at 0448 AEDT.
Yeah nah. https://t.co/K4q5UDkzdV
@alanjlee 1. Yes. 2. You should get advice about that.
RT @ILCryptoLawyer: Introducing the Distributed ERP System, a.k.a. “DERP.†😂 The Baseline Protocol — your private business, on the public E…
@jpwarren And would you in turn be watching them?
Attn: @beefanddairy. https://t.co/NZVyOIdNXz
@paulwiggins @JM77 What, working on the arse-oil thing?
RT @nadinevoncohen: FUCK YEAH IS IT EVER ACCEPTABLE FOR A MONKEY TO JUMP ON A BEAN BAG? https://t.co/Ez9UVfrI54
RT @matttburke: The Libs just took down their “Back In Black†mugs from their website that they’ve had up since May last year. https://t.co…
RT @stilgherrian: THIS THREAD IS A BRILLIANT TALE OF DETERMINATION AND ADVENTURE. https://t.co/fswhBmL2k1
RT @snurb_dot_info: Oh hell. We’re facing the worst economic crisis since the GFC, and we have a Treasurer who appears to be unable to use…
stilgherrian This is on a livestream, not individually in person or on stage or anything. No touching.
stilgherrian IMPORTANT POLL: Would you pay to watch me wallow in a bathtub full of custard?
RT @amparo_ortiz: Went to the hospital tonight and the (female) doctor asked me if I was stressed lately. I said yes. She suggested I shoul…
swearyanthony Thoughts and Prayers for @DrCraigEmerson in these trying times pic.twitter.com/oqLBypNxsq
RT @Picketer: Nobody who has ever represented a worker on the panel. Good job producers. They do have an employer lobbyist. https://t.co/m9…
@joannejacobs If people who think that do that then I’m all for it.
@joannejacobs I am not.
@dobes That’s very nearly funny.
dlglsh Parents: panic buying tissues and soap.
Children:
pic.twitter.com/Bvr7PHNhHY
RT @SassenachExile: God bless Americans. Skye this weekend. https://t.co/6GvQQo4krw
@juhasaarinen TPaaS. au.whogivesacrap.org But they’ve sold out.
@juhasaarinen It’s already a thing.
@fleuronfire @NuclearAnthro Correct.
RT @prestontowers: In massive shock news… https://t.co/XQw54rELwS
Here’s another one@TheDanBarretttt.
I see that @LowyInstitute has started a COVID-19 podcast too. https://t.co/ANj3nOzyWS
People seemed to like this thread of mashups from last night so you might want to explore. https://t.co/V2t44KDTBe
mother3bears So I said to Arnie, “Where did you get those toilet rolls?”
He said, “Aisle B, back.” pic.twitter.com/PgF5YZkdCl
RT @danilic: People are panic subscribing to Audible to listen to Riot Act…. It makes sense especially if you are doing some self-imposed…
@SuperCroup @SnarkyPlatypus I was going to ask that! I did think the dog might have just been barking, but here we are.
Obviously I want one of these as well. https://t.co/ArTfL1HZZF
@charliedrummond Yeah nah.
@SnarkyPlatypus @SuperCroup Thanks, though I’m not sure I’m any closer to understanding this piece. I’ll have to lo… https://t.co/dy16muAP3X
@Headwellred @juhasaarinen Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!
I want one of these, and so does @NuclearAnthro. I’m looking forward to the rest of #365daysofRadebaugh because his… https://t.co/SWbb8a8Hye
@robcorr Woof.
@FilesOfDresden I thought I’d ask about the teeth first.
Right. I now have further questions. https://t.co/S7miIvqEDH
@formalbeer Maybe the dog is explaining this.
Some of your replies suggest that you can’t read Chinese.
What is this dog saying? pic.twitter.com/L9BKF9BN3k
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “5G marketing echoes the hype around 3G and 4G: ICANN CTO†https://t.co/y6IxnWwtxp
theepictheymer CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER pic.twitter.com/4UZXiws4VK
@expectproblems At this stage anything’s worth a try.
gavmacn Welcome to Glasgow, where a global pandemic hits and still nobody will touch anything vegan. pic.twitter.com/f3FM1HByxN
@expectproblems I certainly hope not. In 1973 the oil price went UP anyway.
Hey Australians! You can wash your arses with oil! https://t.co/d2sO5HBPHg
Story filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains hype and predictions. And balloons. But not Skywhale.
@NickyWill100 @SuperCroup Ah yes, I forgot.
@naamanzhou You’re welcome. :)
@SuperCroup My brain hurts.
Remember, everyone, you are smarter and better informed than any mere health expert, so make sure to call their adv… https://t.co/iPdmaAE1jk
RT @SwiftOnSecurity: This is a doctor’s note please print it out https://t.co/vKoMrrTbNM
@Epigrammist Der.
At first I read this as “testicular milk†and yeah that’s a place we definitely don’t need to go. https://t.co/mhcrLzf272
As time goes on more people seem interested in the idea. pic.twitter.com/4kg1L0VqAE
@loddlaen @raaahbin @NewtonMark @Scottludlam So I’d then need, what? A cement mixer I guess. But I can hire one of them.
@NewtonMark @raaahbin @loddlaen @Scottludlam I’d have to sell it as a novelty item, though, because look at all thi… https://t.co/Z2TgTSgZs9
@portusprince I have no idea who that is, and anyway this is an adult* male doing it so it’s not weird and creepy.
* Opinions differ.
@raaahbin @NewtonMark @loddlaen @Scottludlam You can also get custard powder in 10kg sacks so that might work out better.
@raaahbin @NewtonMark @loddlaen @Scottludlam No this makes a lot more sense. I reckon the pre-worn custard could be… https://t.co/0lxSzGiww8
@peterw I don’t see why not.
@RhombusHatesYou Did it ever go away?
RT @NuclearAnthro: This. Person. Is. A. Monster.
Notice who isn’t included here:
Queer people.
Women.
People who are financially preca…
@NewtonMark @loddlaen @Scottludlam Markets solve everything. We know that.
I am open to suggestions. https://t.co/xcxaDHhm4L
Tempting, but I think I’ll hold out for more. https://t.co/YqQNyyNO2C
Yes to both, obviously. https://t.co/pSU0nmB5nH
It’s good to know there’s still some true patriots on God’s Earth. Noe retweepic.twitter.com/LfbMSu1AY2Su1AY2
This is high-quality thinking. https://t.co/LGrNqjZRYj
fanfiction_txt when it comes to movies, games, TV, cartoons, or anime, I like almost all of them, except the ones that I believe are bad
I think we can come to an arrangement here, Graham. https://t.co/pSAHEjX0H5
What about me AND a Hemsworth? https://t.co/nJIwv17vzD
This is on a livestream, not individually in person or on stage or anything. No touching.
IMPORTANT POLL: Would you pay to watch me wallow in a bathtub full of custard?
This is correct too, so don’t be fooled. Check with an expert. https://t.co/UQ3TNM0UrV
Pro Tip: Tomorrow is not Wednesday. Not anywhere.
@soundofsam @jpwarren @ashabeeeee @dobes @NewtonMark These are all excellent points.
RT @NewtonMark: Dutton almost completely stopped patrols for asylum seeker boats in April 2019, and must have been devastated that the peop…
“Get paid for your donation at Australia’s first public stool bank” https://t.co/m8MraQbSag
@SnarkyPlatypus Aldi has cleaning products up for this Wednesday’s specials. https://t.co/HouD7ojLRX
RT @IanColdwater: Tech people: we’re the smartest people in the room!
Also tech people: https://t.co/M67B8OwW9N
@ashabeeeee @dobes @NewtonMark @jpwarren Hurrah!
I think @dobes @jpwarren @NewtonMark will appreciate the beauty of the Sovereign Virus. https://t.co/dJ8Lu3EDa1
rgcooke simply refuse to enter into a voluntary contract with the pathogen.
RT @rgcooke: ‘The government can’t stop pandemics’ is hard to beat as a product of Libertarian Brain. As though centuries of public health…
Pinboard Oh man, the graph went down! This is the worst possible thing that could happen to me pic.twitter.com/3Fbdih49Y5
@SnarkyPlatypus We need to know more!
Pinboard No homo, bro, but what if we just touched each other’s faces once, just to see how it feels pic.twitter.com/9KV0rm5ATn
Pinboard That money line is going down fast bro. I gotta really get deep in there pic.twitter.com/CpXx7ZKsp7
RT @NewtonMark: All of a sudden, as if by magic, the newspapers are being struck by the realization that it’s kinda bad to have a country r…
Pinboard Bro my fingers taste like the minus key on my keyboard pic.twitter.com/8wew9SpagT
Pinboard That coronavirus market just makes you want to cradle your face in your hands and cry pic.twitter.com/WEsenTe4UI
@davispg Yeah that doesn’t work.
I am having a sook about there being no @7ampodcast today because people in Melbourne are having a public holiday t… https://t.co/9xfQN0kL67
@oz_f OK Ross.
Pinboard I just keep rubbing my eyes and can’t believe it’s real bro pic.twitter.com/0rTRsyQYZo
RT @Pinboard: THREAD: finance men touching their faces while worrying about money. I will add images here as the various markets crash http…
If you’d like me to ruin any more of life’s simple pleasures, please let me know.
Pro Tip: When anyone says “No pun intended†in a single written thing such as a tweet, they are lying. They noticed… https://t.co/NZXjCzvr3S
RT @HeerJeet: I’m seeing a lot of other people also seeing the tweet as a weird Nero allusion. But it’s also Trump’s nod to QAnon. “Nothing…
@dobes Way ahead of you. https://t.co/GRufMLM8Hf
RT @RGB_Lights: For my tech friends, consider using your GPUs to help analyze Coronavirus. The Folding at Home effort (remember SETI@Home?…
@DavidEd61678590 @howes_dale Yep. It’s a crazy place. But the Murdoch press has always turned on a dime, as America… https://t.co/jaUpofnpaQ
@DavidEd61678590 @howes_dale No, but I think it calls for a more nuanced approach than “Murdoch is bad therefore it… https://t.co/1MoEo0Ux9I
@formalbeer @RealNickHodge @paulwallbank Good thinking. I AM A FRIEND OF THE SKINKS.
@MatthewBevan @australian I hope you’ve stocked up on toilet paper then.
@MatthewBevan @australian I think N is a bit small at this stage. :)
@DavidEd61678590 @howes_dale Oh dear God get a grip! Next you’ll be saying this is all being manipulated by Space L… https://t.co/mwhC3eBFGp
@MatthewBevan @australian The problem with this, though, is that the spread of a virus is about interpersonal conne… https://t.co/Ude43VF6Yp
The riots get closer every day. https://t.co/3JDVLJop0y
ICYMI, today is a public holiday in ACT, SA, TAS, VIC. Let the hate flow through you.
@formalbeer @RealNickHodge @paulwallbank OK, this is sending me down a very worrying rabbit-hole. So, thank you?
“The myths around Australia’s horror bushfire season debunked†by @howes_dale https://t.co/rOyt08Il1P This is solid.
“NSW looking to sell WestConnex†https://t.co/bKLwTRh4Ju
@RealNickHodge @paulwallbank I think it’s too early to be certain about the exact political model they’ve adopted.… https://t.co/bxArywovTk
RT @davegreenidge57: Everyone needs to slow down on the TP. The symptoms graph shows the virus doesn’t cause endless days of diarrhea. Coug…
RT @Midgecat: A far from perfect graph but at least gives an idea of the benefit of handwashing etc to slow down transmission of the virus.…
@RealNickHodge @paulwallbank I think the Space Lizards have gone way beyond mere human jurisdictions.
Wait. Skywhale is getting a male counterpart just as the lizards take over their sex spaceship? I’m worried now. https://t.co/bPoo0NKsJn
IMPORTANT SKYWHALE NEWS! “Skywhale soars once again in the skies over Canberra†https://t.co/x2u0QP7UzE
I do like how 2020 is turning out. https://t.co/bPoo0NKsJn
@bgosford @firstdogonmoon It’s hard to beat the phrase “lizard sex satellite†but here we are.
@dobes So, “thinking†is just the voices in your head, right?
@mckinnon_a @naamanzhou Ten tits good, two tits bad.
@naamanzhou This is a small thing, perhaps, but aren’t all balloons inflatable? Isn’t that what makes it a balloon?
RT @GrogsGamut: We are all doomed https://t.co/JPmS0Wc0I6
RT @KevinBankston: This needs to become a thing https://t.co/JPFqnRk3NH
@GreenJ @Meanjin Or I should have said, “From the people who ARE the first four wordsâ€. You know those people too.
@GreenJ @Meanjin From the kind of people who only read the first four words. You know, that sort of person.
@alexkidman That should so be a thing.
@HHackenbecker A change is as good as a holiday.
@aspientiae Nicely played.
RT @raykwong: WTF? Democrats are twice as likely as Republicans to “say they are taking steps to be prepared, including washing their hands…
THIS THREAD IS A BRILLIANT TALE OF DETERMINATION AND ADVENTURE. https://t.co/fswhBmL2k1
Further alleged plans may be found in the Weekly Wrap. https://t.co/1K5q6iCVEt
Mon plan: Slow start; sort out the writing schedule; get some writing done, working in a library somewhere; quiet n… https://t.co/YtS7X9bcOm
Soggy Sydney. pic.twitter.com/VYk9s5ym8p
Monday. The bees in the trees will seize the means of production. Monday.
I should probably try to get some sleep now. There are bats outside.
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Crazy thing in America? That never happens! :)
RT @paulkidd: Strop your way to coronavirus immunity. https://t.co/DpP0EduDKh
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ As usual we’re on the same page. This IS serious but all this craziness is wrong.
RT @paulkidd: Shonk of the day. https://t.co/IXSsz9ubd2
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ “We just ask that people don’t panic like this when they go out s… https://t.co/Vp5HZ2jawc
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Hahaha they’ve been charged with affray. https://t.co/IYw40JLW79 https://t.co/05c2wdafld
@_midofo_ @ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo Sweet.
Pinboard I’m old enough to remember when this election was going to be all about impeachment or the war with Iran.
RT @stilgherrian: “SLEEP WITH DONALD TRUMP: The contest that puts you in bed with the man of your dreams†(Playgirl, August 1990)
(HT a fr…
@aDB That’s very good, yes. Thanks!
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Everything will be bad. :)
OK, that’s the end of this thread for tonight. I have to pretend to get sone sleep so I can pretend to work tomorro… https://t.co/S4OL3GaGeD
Gloria Gaynor and Dio, “I Will Survive the Rainbow in the Dark†https://t.co/uLKXOLV3dc
Aerosmith and The Temptations, “I Can’t Walk Next to You†https://t.co/HdejzUaJCw
George Michael and KISS, “Never Without Your Love Gun†https://t.co/GYnjzR9Hk7
Slayer feat. ABBA, “The winner of heaven†https://t.co/ii1Wpd1agJ
@ApostrophePong @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Xi has already put a deputy in charge so if it all fucks up it’s not his fault.
Yes. The Bangles mixed with Slayer. This is where we are now. Pure class.
The Bangles and Slayer, “Walk Like an Angel of Death†https://t.co/B0LIDpQtb9
I think even @SnarkyPlatypus would like this one. https://t.co/08JEGjXI12