Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

March 9th, 2020

26% of Australians watching me wallow in custard is a workable media event.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

@franksting Yeah there’s a whole range of compulsory adjectives for news reporting. All deaths are “tragic”. Road a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zH

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to franksting

BrashsAustralia We’re hearing a lot of panic about viruses from customers of late. With a whopping 30% of Australian households now..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…kF

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:04 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

kels_316 when you think about it, a sausage is just a meat banana

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:01 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

A screenshot in case it’s sent to the Memory Hole. pic.twitter.com/4qeeIS0hsN

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

“In favour of cramped flats”? How selfish of them! Also, “millennials” is spelled like that, not how you have it. twitter.com/theage/status/…

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Well here’s a solid PR pitch for International Women’s Day. FFS..pic.twitter.com/3fUKMippq9q9

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Full Moon is in 8 hours, at 0448 AEDT.

via TweetDeck

@alanjlee 1. Yes. 2. You should get advice about that.

via TweetDeck in reply to alanjlee

ILCryptoLawyer Introducing the Distributed ERP System, a.k.a. “DERP.” 😂 The Baseline Protocol — your private business, on the publ.twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Jv7

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:34 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@jpwarren And would you in turn be watching them?

via TweetDeck in reply to jpwarren

forest_fr1ends - take it easy with the toilet paper. when it’s all gone we’ll have to start using the hamster… pic.twitter.com/XOSpLDRqzI

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:21 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@paulwiggins @JM77 What, working on the arse-oil thing?

via TweetDeck in reply to paulwiggins

nadinevoncohen FUCK YEAH IS IT EVER ACCEPTABLE FOR A MONKEY TO JUMP ON A BEAN BAG? twitter.com/guardian/statu…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:12 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

matttburke The Libs just took down their “Back In Black” mugs from their website that they’ve had up since May last year. twitter.com/danilic/status…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:59 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

stilgherrian THIS THREAD IS A BRILLIANT TALE OF DETERMINATION AND ADVENTURE. twitter.com/deanlines/stat…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 7:58 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

snurb_dot_info Oh hell. We’re facing the worst economic crisis since the GFC, and we have a Treasurer who appears to be unable to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…K2

via Hootsuite Inc. (retweeted on 7:57 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

stilgherrian This is on a livestream, not individually in person or on stage or anything. No touching.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:56 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

stilgherrian IMPORTANT POLL: Would you pay to watch me wallow in a bathtub full of custard?

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 7:56 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

amparo_ortiz Went to the hospital tonight and the (female) doctor asked me if I was stressed lately. I said yes. She suggested I..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Dz

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:50 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

swearyanthony Thoughts and Prayers for @DrCraigEmerson in these trying times pic.twitter.com/oqLBypNxsq

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:49 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Picketer Nobody who has ever represented a worker on the panel. Good job producers. They do have an employer lobbyist. twitter.com/abcthedrum/sta…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 7:44 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@joannejacobs If people who think that do that then I’m all for it.

via TweetDeck in reply to joannejacobs

dlglsh Parents: panic buying tissues and soap.

Children:

pic.twitter.com/Bvr7PHNhHY

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:09 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

SassenachExile God bless Americans. Skye this weekend. pic.twitter.com/6GvQQo4krw

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:00 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

prestontowers In massive shock news… twitter.com/JournoLawJ/sta…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:38 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

I see that @LowyInstitute has started a COVID-19 podcast too. lowyinstitute.org/publications/c…

via TweetDeck

People seemed to like this thread of mashups from last night so you might want to explore. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

via TweetDeck

mother3bears So I said to Arnie, “Where did you get those toilet rolls?”
He said, “Aisle B, back.” pic.twitter.com/PgF5YZkdCl

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:28 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

danilic People are panic subscribing to Audible to listen to Riot Act…. It makes sense especially if you are doing some s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Lm

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:27 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@SuperCroup @SnarkyPlatypus I was going to ask that! I did think the dog might have just been barking, but here we are.

via TweetDeck in reply to SuperCroup

@SnarkyPlatypus @SuperCroup Thanks, though I’m not sure I’m any closer to understanding this piece. I’ll have to lo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3X

via TweetDeck in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

I want one of these, and so does @NuclearAnthro. I’m looking forward to the rest of because his..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ye

via TweetDeck

@FilesOfDresden I thought I’d ask about the teeth first.

via TweetDeck in reply to FilesOfDresden

Some of your replies suggest that you can’t read Chinese.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Me at @zdnetaustralia: “5G marketing echoes the hype around 3G and 4G: ICANN CTO” zdnet.com/article/5g-mar…

via TweetDeck

theepictheymer CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER pic.twitter.com/4UZXiws4VK

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 3:58 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@expectproblems At this stage anything’s worth a try.

via TweetDeck in reply to expectproblems

gavmacn Welcome to Glasgow, where a global pandemic hits and still nobody will touch anything vegan. pic.twitter.com/f3FM1HByxN

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:43 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@expectproblems I certainly hope not. In 1973 the oil price went UP anyway.

via TweetDeck in reply to expectproblems

Hey Australians! You can wash your arses with oil! twitter.com/amali_d/status…

via TweetDeck

Story filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains hype and predictions. And balloons. But not Skywhale.

via TweetDeck

Remember, everyone, you are smarter and better informed than any mere health expert, so make sure to call their adv..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…jk

via TweetDeck

SwiftOnSecurity This is a doctor’s note please print it out twitter.com/surgeon_genera…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:47 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

At first I read this as “testicular milk” and yeah that’s a place we definitely don’t need to go. twitter.com/djackmanson/st…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

As time goes on more people seem interested in the idea. pic.twitter.com/4kg1L0VqAE

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@loddlaen @raaahbin @NewtonMark @Scottludlam So I’d then need, what? A cement mixer I guess. But I can hire one of them.

via TweetDeck in reply to loddlaen

@NewtonMark @raaahbin @loddlaen @Scottludlam I’d have to sell it as a novelty item, though, because look at all thi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…s9

via TweetDeck in reply to NewtonMark

@portusprince I have no idea who that is, and anyway this is an adult* male doing it so it’s not weird and creepy.

* Opinions differ.

via TweetDeck in reply to portusprince

@raaahbin @NewtonMark @loddlaen @Scottludlam You can also get custard powder in 10kg sacks so that might work out better.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@raaahbin @NewtonMark @loddlaen @Scottludlam No this makes a lot more sense. I reckon the pre-worn custard could be..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…w8

via TweetDeck in reply to raaahbin

NuclearAnthro This. Person. Is. A. Monster.

Notice who isn’t included here:
Queer people.
Women.
People who are financially..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4b

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:43 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Tempting, but I think I’ll hold out for more. twitter.com/Scottludlam/st…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

It’s good to know there’s still some true patriots on God’s Earth. Noe retweet it. pic.twitter.com/LfbMSu1AY2

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

fanfiction_txt when it comes to movies, games, TV, cartoons, or anime, I like almost all of them, except the ones that I believe are bad

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 12:31 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

I think we can come to an arrangement here, Graham. twitter.com/gcluley/status…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

This is on a livestream, not individually in person or on stage or anything. No touching.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

IMPORTANT POLL: Would you pay to watch me wallow in a bathtub full of custard?

via Twitter Web App

This is correct too, so don’t be fooled. Check with an expert. twitter.com/jonoabroad/sta…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Pro Tip: Tomorrow is not Wednesday. Not anywhere.

via TweetDeck

NewtonMark Dutton almost completely stopped patrols for asylum seeker boats in April 2019, and must have been devastated that..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wZ

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 12:20 PM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

“Get paid for your donation at Australia’s first public stool bank” abc.net.au/news/2020-03-0…

via Tweetbot for iΟS

@SnarkyPlatypus Aldi has cleaning products up for this Wednesday’s specials. aldi.com.au/en/special-buy…

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

IanColdwater Tech people: we’re the smartest people in the room!

Also tech people: twitter.com/kateclarktweet…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:48 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

I think @dobes @jpwarren @NewtonMark will appreciate the beauty of the Sovereign Virus. twitter.com/rgcooke/status…

via TweetDeck

rgcooke simply refuse to enter into a voluntary contract with the pathogen.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:30 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

rgcooke ‘The government can’t stop pandemics’ is hard to beat as a product of Libertarian Brain. As though centuries of pub..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ux

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:30 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Pinboard Oh man, the graph went down! This is the worst possible thing that could happen to me pic.twitter.com/3Fbdih49Y5

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:29 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Pinboard No homo, bro, but what if we just touched each other’s faces once, just to see how it feels pic.twitter.com/9KV0rm5ATn

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:18 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Pinboard That money line is going down fast bro. I gotta really get deep in there pic.twitter.com/CpXx7ZKsp7

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:18 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

NewtonMark All of a sudden, as if by magic, the newspapers are being struck by the realization that it’s kinda bad to have a c..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GU

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 11:15 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Pinboard Bro my fingers taste like the minus key on my keyboard pic.twitter.com/8wew9SpagT

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:14 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Pinboard That coronavirus market just makes you want to cradle your face in your hands and cry pic.twitter.com/WEsenTe4UI

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:14 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

I am having a sook about there being no @7ampodcast today because people in Melbourne are having a public holiday t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…67

via TweetDeck

Pinboard I just keep rubbing my eyes and can’t believe it’s real bro pic.twitter.com/0rTRsyQYZo

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:11 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

Pinboard THREAD: finance men touching their faces while worrying about money. I will add images here as the various markets..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…69

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:11 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

If you’d like me to ruin any more of life’s simple pleasures, please let me know.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Pro Tip: When anyone says “No pun intended” in a single written thing such as a tweet, they are lying. They noticed..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3S

via TweetDeck

HeerJeet I’m seeing a lot of other people also seeing the tweet as a weird Nero allusion. But it’s also Trump’s nod to QAnon..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eF

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:59 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

RGB_Lights For my tech friends, consider using your GPUs to help analyze Coronavirus. The Folding at Home effort (remember SE..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…21

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 10:56 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@DavidEd61678590 @howes_dale Yep. It’s a crazy place. But the Murdoch press has always turned on a dime, as America..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…aQ

via TweetDeck in reply to DavidEd61678590

@DavidEd61678590 @howes_dale No, but I think it calls for a more nuanced approach than “Murdoch is bad therefore it..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9I

via TweetDeck in reply to DavidEd61678590

@MatthewBevan @australian I hope you’ve stocked up on toilet paper then.

via TweetDeck in reply to MatthewBevan

@MatthewBevan @australian I think N is a bit small at this stage. :)

via TweetDeck in reply to MatthewBevan

@DavidEd61678590 @howes_dale Oh dear God get a grip! Next you’ll be saying this is all being manipulated by Space L..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Gp

via TweetDeck in reply to DavidEd61678590

@MatthewBevan @australian The problem with this, though, is that the spread of a virus is about interpersonal conne..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Yp

via TweetDeck in reply to MatthewBevan

ICYMI, today is a public holiday in ACT, SA, TAS, VIC. Let the hate flow through you.

via TweetDeck

@formalbeer @RealNickHodge @paulwallbank OK, this is sending me down a very worrying rabbit-hole. So, thank you?

via TweetDeck in reply to formalbeer

“The myths around Australia’s horror bushfire season debunked” by @howes_dale news.com.au/technology/env… This is solid.

via TweetDeck

@RealNickHodge @paulwallbank I think it’s too early to be certain about the exact political model they’ve adopted…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Tk

via TweetDeck in reply to RealNickHodge

davegreenidge57 Everyone needs to slow down on the TP. The symptoms graph shows the virus doesn’t cause endless days of diarrhea. C..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GB

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 9:56 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

Midgecat A far from perfect graph but at least gives an idea of the benefit of handwashing etc to slow down transmission of..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…91

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 9:55 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

@RealNickHodge @paulwallbank I think the Space Lizards have gone way beyond mere human jurisdictions.

via TweetDeck in reply to RealNickHodge

Wait. Skywhale is getting a male counterpart just as the lizards take over their sex spaceship? I’m worried now. twitter.com/jeamland/statu…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

IMPORTANT SKYWHALE NEWS! “Skywhale soars once again in the skies over Canberra” theguardian.com/australia-news…

via TweetDeck

I do like how 2020 is turning out. twitter.com/jeamland/statu…

via TweetDeck

@bgosford @firstdogonmoon It’s hard to beat the phrase “lizard sex satellite” but here we are.

via TweetDeck in reply to bgosford

@dobes So, “thinking” is just the voices in your head, right?

via TweetDeck in reply to dobes

@naamanzhou This is a small thing, perhaps, but aren’t all balloons inflatable? Isn’t that what makes it a balloon?

via TweetDeck in reply to naamanzhou

GrogsGamut We are all doomed twitter.com/realDonaldTrum…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:37 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

KevinBankston This needs to become a thing twitter.com/rcalo/status/1…

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 9:34 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@GreenJ @Meanjin Or I should have said, “From the people who ARE the first four words”. You know those people too.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@GreenJ @Meanjin From the kind of people who only read the first four words. You know, that sort of person.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@GreenJ @Meanjin You’re going to get complaints about that one. :)

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

raykwong WTF? Democrats are twice as likely as Republicans to “say they are taking steps to be prepared, including washing t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mX

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:14 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Twitter for iPhone)

THIS THREAD IS A BRILLIANT TALE OF DETERMINATION AND ADVENTURE. twitter.com/deanlines/stat…

via Tweetbot for iΟS

Further alleged plans may be found in the Weekly Wrap. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Mon plan: Slow start; sort out the writing schedule; get some writing done, working in a library somewhere; quiet n..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Om

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Monday. The bees in the trees will seize the means of production. Monday.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

I should probably try to get some sleep now. There are bats outside.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

paulkidd Strop your way to coronavirus immunity. twitter.com/bigthink/statu…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:46 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ As usual we’re on the same page. This IS serious but all this craziness is wrong.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to ApostrophePong

paulkidd Shonk of the day. twitter.com/alexsakalis/st…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:42 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@ApostrophePong @wolfcat @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ “We just ask that people don’t panic like this when they go out s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wc

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Pinboard I’m old enough to remember when this election was going to be all about impeachment or the war with Iran.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 12:32 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

stilgherrian “SLEEP WITH DONALD TRUMP: The contest that puts you in bed with the man of your dreams” (Playgirl, August 1990)

(H..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wn

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 12:31 AM, Mar 9th, 2020 via TweetDeck)

@aDB That’s very good, yes. Thanks!

via TweetDeck in reply to aDB

OK, that’s the end of this thread for tonight. I have to pretend to get sone sleep so I can pretend to work tomorro..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eD

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Gloria Gaynor and Dio, “I Will Survive the Rainbow in the Dark” youtube.com/watch?v=NYoohb…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Aerosmith and The Temptations, “I Can’t Walk Next to You” youtube.com/watch?v=h77iwt…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

George Michael and KISS, “Never Without Your Love Gun” youtube.com/watch?v=fR-4nM…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@ApostrophePong @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Xi has already put a deputy in charge so if it all fucks up it’s not his fault.

via TweetDeck in reply to ApostrophePong

Yes. The Bangles mixed with Slayer. This is where we are now. Pure class.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

The Bangles and Slayer, “Walk Like an Angel of Death” youtube.com/watch?v=zg9PjE…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian