
JimMFelton Stop making effort you idiots, no matter what you do this is how you look on Skype pic.twitter.com/mkXfJkoxKH
RT @knausc: Coronavirus tests being rushed to Australia can deliver results within three hours. Roche, the global pharama giant, says it wi…
RT @Frances_Coppola: BTC has zero chance of redeeming its dollar promises, because the Fed has absolutely no obligation to provide the doll…
RT @Frances_Coppola: The idea that BTC is uncorrelated with the real economy is laughable. It is a USD derivative. Bitcoiners have never be…
@FrKarlSinclair @wellmaywesay @jeremysear That’s an excellent note, thank you.
RT @redrabbleroz: | ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|
Stop watching
the bad show
|___________|
(\__/) ||…
@FrKarlSinclair @wellmaywesay @jeremysear Thanks, Karl. I always worry about being in furious agreement, but it did… https://t.co/nQLRosZ9ef
RT @paulkidd: Shoutout to the founders of Twitter who had the foresight 14 years ago this week to create a website specifically for the wor…
@Dream_Brother_ I’d always imagined that book would be a bit of a haul.
RT @maccolahan9: The Government: All international arrivals must self-isolate for 14 days to stop the spread of coronavirus.
Gold Coast: h…
NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Extra: Well May We Say episode 121, ‘A Fast-Moving Situation’†https://t.co/EjHa9hnf0J A cros… https://t.co/PiIWUuNQde
@NewtonMark Now you’re getting fussy.
11. “Senegal is reportedly turning coronavirus tests around ‘within 4 hours’ while Americans might wait a week.†https://t.co/374DU9CuNu

10. Senegal likes wine, cheese, and long walks on the beach. The beach is called Geraldine. pic.twitter.com/UxruawLhkb
9. Senegal has a pet name for its lower intestine, which is The Gambia. Not just any gambia, mind you, but The Gamb… https://t.co/YdSDaFZmhs
8. The following cities are not in Senegal:
London
New York
Cairo
Russia
Yass
Louga
Coriander
Thyme
New York
7. The capital of Senegal is Dakar, which is in Paris.

6. Sometimes Senegal is found on the west coast of Africa. pic.twitter.com/iHbpJZve01
5. Same Gel is an anagram of Senegal.
4. If you spell Senegal backwards it is Lagenes. Lagenes (UK) Limited is a business supplies and equipment company… https://t.co/HXPSO50hv4
3. “The Portuguese Empire was the first European power to colonise Senegal, beginning with the arrival of Dinis Dia… https://t.co/Carl1cn88p
2. “The territory of modern Senegal has been inhabited by various ethnic groups since prehistory. Organised kingdom… https://t.co/2UNub0SCFI

1. The Republic of Senegal is on the east coast of African and looks like this. pic.twitter.com/b2cQqgW2WI
And now as promised, Ten Facts about Senegal. Why? Two reasons.
A. Senegal was mentioned in this week’s episode of… https://t.co/W86AQoaFpP
@teambuild3r @NRL I’m sure there’s some Lifting of Heavy Things to be done.
RT @MrMichaelSpicer: If you’re staying at home, remember TV is this all day. https://t.co/iRZ9rigYgU
@SnarkyPlatypus @NRL I did, and I’ve already suggested to them that they read the room. During a pandemic, you have… https://t.co/UNoQWu2oUj
RT @dw_europe: Germany has closed its border with France.
DW’s Bernd Riegert reports from one crossing point where there’s plenty of skep…
“NRL players could face salary cuts during coronavirus crisis� Diddums. Fuck these spoilt over-paid petal-thugs,… https://t.co/bG3Q2Gydvj
@SnarkyPlatypus @ChrissieM But just soap is better because of that science about rippling into* the oil.
* Sciencey term.
RT @WuTangClan: Protect Ya Neck against the Coronavirus. We are making a few thousand prints and distributing them across New York City. Fe…
@SamanthaRegione He’s… he’s a phenomenon.
@SnarkyPlatypus If she has access to 70% ethanol then she should be making us cocktails.
@flowblok I’ve heard of this guy but I think a different one. No earbuds with me right now so I’ll listen later. Thanks!
@SnarkyPlatypus It has to be at least 60% alcohol to be any use.
RT @AndrewPStreet: As a social distancing measure, which government will have sufficient concern for public health to return the Lambada to…
RT @7NewsSydney: BREAKING: In an extraordinary move, Random Breath Testing has become the latest victim of coronavirus and is being suspend…
@SamanthaRegione German press is confirming it, apparently.
RT @tacticalmaid: Weirdly when I hit it with curl it 301’d to the Dept of health site. Hosted in the US on a namecheap shared hosting box.…
RT @CyberGovAU: Watch out for scam texts claiming to be Australian Government advice on COVID-19 testing, which are aimed at stealing your…
I’m still laughing at this. https://t.co/HDBg6NVvL8
@twcau @jpwarren @NewtonMark @dobes Preachin’ to the choir on this thread. :)
RT @Trixie_Boo: For everyone needing some good cheer … thank you Egg Boy 🥚 https://t.co/byTihskMr3
@GeorgeCockroft Yeah that was and continues to be a fantastic effort.
@johnb78 Yes, most respectable. As it goes.
RT @supersat: Step 1: Get COVID-19
Step 2: Go out and party for 18 hours at a club
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Now 42 more people have it https://t…
RT @brianwhelanhack: The island of Ireland is now an A/B test for covid containment.
26 counties; pubs closed, mass gatherings banned, sch…
RT @johnb78: The best thing about going to the barber’s is when you’re about to get a wet shave, lying on the reclined barber chair, and it…
RT @gregmlarsen: In 2017 health minister @GregHuntMP liked a porno tweet from “BBW Cum Pumper 69”. He then lied and said he was hacked and…
@SnarkyPlatypus Badly timed, or something. But yes.
RT @paulkidd: Woolworths is selling seven weeks’ worth of toilet paper every day. https://t.co/k6dJzTJQzk
@Sarah_Alice_X @dobes @rohan_p @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark These are all fascinating rabbit-holes. Worrying, and fascinating.
@terencehuynh Exactl… no, wait.
@bigbadave No she’s physically there, and looking as bored and frustrated as you’d expect.

Is this an advert for a gay escort agency? pic.twitter.com/RT1hudQvEg
There’s an Irish guy 15 metres away, well across the room, talking continuously and LOUDLY at his lady friend. I ca… https://t.co/iJYuzOBFsf
@munin There’s a church here in Australia that’s telling its congregation that Jesus will protect the faithful. You… https://t.co/jSni0aZg9H
@Sarah_Alice_X @dobes @rohan_p @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark She does quite a lot of this sort of thing, ap… https://t.co/xjTnyDZNd1
After the South Korean church thing, I wonder how much of the US coronavirus spread will be via the pastors of mega… https://t.co/Pi6PC5Q5k3

Solid progress report today from the Senate Inquiry into Press Freedom. pic.twitter.com/eqQrlJF9Ab
@JohnBirmingham @zlj517 I do.
@dobes @rohan_p @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark Does anyone else think that “channelling Jesus†sounds kinda dirty?
@JohnBirmingham @zlj517 Wow I didn’t know you had this power!
Dear @NRL you need to read the fucking room.
Returning along George Street.

The last we’ll see of Sydney Harbour Bridge before they demolish it to install The Coronadomepic.twitter.com/eB0qJ5Ydxixi

Circular Quay, 5.18pm. pic.twitter.com/4GvgvGpj6P

“Take the necessary next steps to stop the spread of this virus,†it alleges. No offenpic.twitter.com/FTLvAl6uSB6uSB
@dobes @rohan_p @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark Which is quite bad.
It’d be interesting to see some data on public transport passenger numbers and road traffic. I’m sure they’ll emerge soon enough.
There’s definitely far fewer people on George Street than usual for 5pm.
On a tram, progressing north along George Street. Not all that many people on board.
RT @DanWoikeSports: If he felt good enough to drop 32 in a NBA game and not know that he had it, you should probably stay home from the bar…
jonkudelka Maybe get Alan Kohler in to do the books.
jonkudelka Please can Norman Swan be the government for the rest of the year cheers.
@dobes @rohan_p @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark I’m no theologian, but I’m 100% sure that Jesus would choose… https://t.co/KlnFGumyvK
@dobes @rohan_p @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark “Tina Louise Spalding was born in England in 1958, emigrating… https://t.co/mlmDmk6oLC
Is this the loopiest commentary so far? Perhaps not, but it is very loopy nonetheless. “Corona Virus Update- an Imp… https://t.co/FEfQJgmVij
Mon plan, remainder: Soon, a walk through the Sydney CBD to see how things are going; a little SEKRIT task; and thi… https://t.co/v9iKklfZjC
@paulwallbank @NewtonMark I look forward to having all these new friends.
Remember, everyone, you’re smarter and know better than every viral epidemiologist in the world, so you just keep g… https://t.co/FevUoR2zFC

declanf What a true humanitarian Organisation. pic.twitter.com/T2zqE8D1K7
RT @abcnews: #BREAKING: RSL NSW has cancelled all public Anzac Day commemoration services, saying the risk to the public was “too greatâ€.
RT @faineg: boy this tweet is going to go in a textbook someday https://t.co/NGP3tHLdsH
This Pilger parody account is quite convincing. https://t.co/L9WY2uEGhN
@NewtonMark Arsehattery?
Trying not to get cranky.
“Suingâ€, I mean. I’m having word problems today.
CNBC LVMH will use its perfume and cosmetics factories to manufacture free hand sanitizer for France cnb.cx/2TQgZYQ
@marcuskelson Does it respond to to power controls? (Yes, turn it off and back on again.) If not, call Apple Support.
@riskybusiness The animatronics are starting to look quite convincing.
As I saw someone say earlier, we should probably not take health advice from a man who’s sueing an imaginary cow. https://t.co/NUkUukX53H
@oberonsghost Arnie seems to be becoming quite sentimental in his old age.
I said “ungulates†because I couldn’t decide whether to use “hoofed†or “hoovedâ€.
But what if you don’t have your own ungulates? https://t.co/msNhuP4FlQ
Ouch. https://t.co/VxlEPvB6gn
RT @statelibrarynsw: Preparing for self-isolation? Sign up for a Library card online to get access to our #eresources from home! Enjoy free…
MediocreDave Every one of the these men is providing the first half of their very own ‘life comes at you fast’ meme.

MediocreDave The bleakness just hit me. pic.twitter.com/UcgEk2WXzc
RT @amanbatheja: Germany’s health ministry is confirming this bombshell story from German media outlet @welt
https://t.co/h1rgaNGn9b https:…
@AnnabelAstbury It’s probably best if I don’t.
RT @RadioFreeTom: “Hi. I am a raving lunatic.†https://t.co/EK8NU5PG6n
RT @jeamland: The AR in AR-15 stands for AntiviRal. https://t.co/oKjUNvNDqc
@strikhedonia01 Maybe we need more strongly-worded t-shirts to survive this pandemic.
RT @helpmeskeletor: Saw a white dude complaining loudly at the lack of community spirit while stripping the shelves of milk powder, serviet…
This is a VERY handy list of terrorist acts and planned acts in Australia. https://t.co/MHohOaqEtI
When it’s decommissioned they should turn it into a martini glass. https://t.co/Bz76sMDZhI
“Coronavirus: Assault charges for Sydney man in alleged Woolies fightâ€, but later in the story, “Police do not beli… https://t.co/AjZ87YRjAv
“M&C Saatchi has launched a new initiative, enabling female employees to work from home when experiencing period pa… https://t.co/SMzFJuob2q
@PeteLawler There were hundreds of people there. And the photo was taken from across the road.

Sydney CBD from Haymarket this morning. Later up I’ll go for a walk up there to see how quiet it is todaypic.twitter.com/GiAfTFds2T2T
A good thread on how to do open source intelligence (OSINT). https://t.co/2b99sXhfFb
An old woman just walked right up to me, tapped my chest, and demanded to know “Who says?â€
Wot?
Oh yeah, I’m wear… https://t.co/qwe3RBZ5S7

Meanwhile… pic.twitter.com/xAeoUVzgk7
Here’s a direct link to Health Minister Hazzard’s press release with those details. https://t.co/r5UQC0ljRk
And he… https://t.co/DZADlzNyAP
RT @GladysB: Overnight NSW invoked emergency powers in the Public Health Act.
We will take every step needed to protect the community. http…
RT @johnmcternan: The only Twitter feed you have needed for some time https://t.co/Cl21sXXc9r
RT @normanswan: The FT reports this morning the way a Danish supermarket is stopping sanitiser hoarding. They charge $6 for the first bottl…
@jpwarren @RealNickHodge @NewtonMark @dobes If in doubt, build another layer of abstraction on top so there’s more… https://t.co/ruTvv1d4hR
RT @JoshButler: The Australian Federal Police say a NSW man has been charged with a terrorism offence after a “Joint Counter Terrorism Team…
RT @peterwsinger: The problem with the dual structure of Trump press conferences is that Fox News, Breitbart etc and his followers only hea…
RT @ezraklein: These press conferences have the strangest structure: Trump opens with something totally bizarre. Then Pence and a sequence…
RT @FridaGhitis: Trump’s message is the opposite of Fauci’s. Look st the quotes https://t.co/SXmwoj6QMc
Oops this was a 90-day chart, not 30-day. But like it says that and you’re so, so clever. https://t.co/xboiMRg8m4
RT @stilgherrian: THIS IS A THING THAT HAPPENED AND WE HAD OPINIONS. https://t.co/X0VILkQBPF
As usual, further alleged plans may be found in the Weekly Wrap, though given the coronavirus restrictions these ma… https://t.co/CxnZDkOhTq
Mon plan: Slow start; laundry; a bunch of reading; story pitches; certain special administrivia; maybe a little wri… https://t.co/lQAJR7u8VK
RT @kcarruthers: How will folks know not to disturb you while working from home? I use the tiara of busy-ness to signify that I am very bus…
RT @paulkidd: “Karen! Call the nursing home and tell them we’re picking your nan up tomorrow morning. She’s our ticket to 96 rolls of dunny…
RT @darth: is it jared https://t.co/0CH4B2YTmr

I’m glad there’s some rain forecast for Sydney todpic.twitter.com/TaSm7MGj7AGj7A
Monday. Do things in the correct order or you will fail. Monday.