@davebottles Sounds perfect.

Or if you prefer a full-length viewâ€pic.twitter.com/DaYxVyq0VbVb
Hey ho, fans of “The Billâ€â€¦ https://t.co/lEhwGlNZG5
@RealNickHodge @fictillius Well there you go. https://t.co/Y7Vu9vortT
Hey Parents, a Quarantimes tip! https://t.co/piF46fieQd

PulpLibrarian Happy #InternationalJazzDay everybody! It’s crazy man… pic.twitter.com/EAv8AIZQzo
I too have a new Action Ring feature. https://t.co/B195YEfeN1
RT @fesshole: Whenever I go into a supermarket and see those battery recycling tubs, I wonder how many of the batteries were used in dildos…
@ChrissieM Temperature is an artificial social construct, like art or gravity.
RT @thejuicemedia: The Government has made an ad about the global response to the pandemic, and it’s surprisingly honest and informative 🌎🔺…
RT @jason_a_w: Prue has repeatedly been asked for her political opinions on network television https://t.co/U2VyPwlz4h
RT @AnthonyCole68: Gutted Warren Mundine isn’t being touted for #EdenMonaro 😔😔
@DevinNunes How’s the whole cow thing going, Devin?
@jpwarren @firstdogonmoon Chickens are not very smart, in my experience.
I am of the opinion that the apparent temperature does not need to be as low as -3.5C but here we are.
@firstdogonmoon @jpwarren So it’s the age-old question, “Why didn’t the chicken cross the moat?â€
RT @HelenaDix: Absolute HILARITY from @lampard_bari and @hewwagner
I think I need to re-work my approach to cadenzas.
**Warning: Do not d…
Gosh thanks, Labor. https://t.co/DSVcvFbQ8f
RT @AyoCaesar: “Criticise capitalism while owning an iPhone? You are like little baby, watch this.â€
- Friedrich Engels, factory owner.
@PaulbernalUK @MyDoncaster Well, these ARE important stories, and obviously I’m glad for the Emu Wars to be more widely known.
Just the one? https://t.co/D0D8WbsJxI
@jonoabroad Better than living without it.
RT @youwouldknow: “And over there is the dogging car park. I’m not allowed there anymore after the Incident.†https://t.co/gPt3vem6RD
For some reason @MyDoncaster in the UK is explaining the Emu Wars of 1932. https://t.co/OkdzEI9y6o
@BrandDNA This, Sir, is what we call a failure of imagination.
@TwitsForMiles Well I don’t need a drone to tell me that.
Oh FFS. https://t.co/ATkkrl1076
@RealNickHodge Jamie’s greatest wish.
According to this exciting* video the first Environmental Impact Statement (EIS) for “Sydney Metro: West†is now op… https://t.co/RQHBcqGkCv
@RealNickHodge Well now that you mention it…
“Jamie Oliver’s roast potato method†sounds like another sex technique that’s doomed to failure. https://t.co/yaLMrWfvh8
@R_Chirgwin @PeteDotAscian @SnarkyPlatypus No, drone drones. https://t.co/s9JhozrrrK
RT @stilgherrian: Bank uses drones to commence spraying the cities. Which phase of The Plan is this, @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark? https://t…
RT @stilgherrian: “An Australian bank wants to spray disinfectant from drones in schools and aged care†by @dobes https://t.co/PkM9emDKeB
RT @HartWexford: She had to sing Mister Mistoffeles https://t.co/W8Jqdd4tG0
“Services Australia says not prudent for myGov to handle 3 million concurrent users: Surge capacity does not enter… https://t.co/jiYDpF9uIZ
“Home Affairs says Australia likely next to sign CLOUD Act arrangement with the US†by @ashabeeeee https://t.co/Ca7YocRZzf
@PeteDotAscian @R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus We could get the Westpac drones to lay down some DDT.
@baxters A wish for the world’s shittest genie!

EamonnONeal Stone Hinge pic.twitter.com/3TBLX4xFO1
@manindotblack @R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus One unit per acre though.
@PeteDotAscian @R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus Was that ever rolled out more widely?
@kcarruthers @R_Chirgwin @ssharwood FREE MEAT!
@SnarkyPlatypus @R_Chirgwin Seems to work though. Like @Susan_Hennessey I’m loving that it’s called the Patriot Plu… https://t.co/UqCTx7zJ0c
@R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus Apparently it creates the appropriate CO2 and moisture gradient to simulate a mammal an… https://t.co/inSckjXlts
@FrKarlSinclair Which just goes to show how innovative I am!
Whaddyareckon, @R_Chirgwin? Or maybe @SnarkyPlatypus needs one of these for the balcony. https://t.co/L30vFbKtwS
Thanks to @Susan_Hennessey and the @RatlSecurity podcast I have just learned of the propane-powered Mosquito Magnet… https://t.co/HY5V9Pa9jC
Pondering dinner.
@R_Chirgwin At least we’re not in the blizzard zone.
@ssharwood Fuckwittery?

Hey @R_Chirgwin, this all looks fun tomorrow! pic.twitter.com/0da69amqok
RT @diannaeanderson: My friend who is a nurse just posted this image about why we should wear face masks and … I love it. https://t.co/Tn…
@twcau Correct.

Reminder. pic.twitter.com/4BYfMUJBZH
@twcau The parking space for his Telstra grunt truck has already been marked out.
@johnallsopp One shock-horror revelation at a time. :)
Reminder to Techbros: One key reason that the Australian government’s COVIDSafe app doesn’t use the Goople API is t… https://t.co/Lh2Ss5MTgp
timescanner EYELASHES CURLED INWARD LIKE A RECORD NEEDLE ON YOUR IRIS REPLAYING THE THINGS YOU’VE SEEN IN DREAMS
RT @FXMC1957: USA No.1 on this day in 1969: The Fifth Dimension - Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In https://t.co/CCEmduh0fw via @YouTube
@SnarkyPlatypus Here we go. https://t.co/KV28EGfPbD
@SnarkyPlatypus Bearing in mind that Wed night is comedy night… I’m still open to this being a parody “with his t… https://t.co/5Nbxu7qmIM
RT @StanDevia: While Saint Jerome was in isolation from the Black Death in 382 he updated the Bible with some new chapters or something. An…
@SnarkyPlatypus Maybe this is exactly the tonic the nation needs.
RT @dobes: If only the government was hosting infrastructure on cloud providers some folk were losing their shit over, and they enabled ins…
Sure. Yes. Yes it is. https://t.co/42hmTN983b
I am… I thi.. look… what? https://t.co/hx2O2HT0cs
RT @evcricket: Everyone in Friends. https://t.co/ewfkliBNDP
@manindotblack @wombat1974 @SnarkyPlatypus It me!
@raaahbin @NewtonMark @jonkudelka Bloody hell I step away from The Twitter for just a few minutes and look what ha… https://t.co/zo8cvJ8BNL
Remember, folks, the Australian national anthem is “What About Moi!â€. https://t.co/Qzoc4G7NcW
RT @NewtonMark: This quote, and the chart which debunks it, are close enough together in the same article to fit on the same screen. There…
@NewtonMark FFS, you and facts. You’re always with these fuckin’ facts!
RT @conor64: Seeing a Rolling Stones concert earlier this year would be like someone in 1962, the year the band started playing, seeing a b…
@DanielleWarby Fair point. :)
I was much more cool in the early 1990s.
Old Techno Fans: Apparently in 1994 I interviewed DJ/producer Richie Hawtin (Plastikman, F.U.S.E.) at length for Fr… https://t.co/H3IKIYUQYs
@SnarkyPlatypus @TimeGhostTV I’m really appreciating the modern, more balanced historiography.
@SnarkyPlatypus @TimeGhostTV And your brief review?
I was once told that 75% of all shipping tonnage globally was the oil and petrochemical industry. Not in ship numbe… https://t.co/QvXBGctJ0l
@SnarkyPlatypus Which reminds me, have you been watching the @TimeGhostTV Indonesia series yet? Three of six up now. https://t.co/kJyh0ATbX4
I’m sorry about my followers@NassimKhademem. They are idiots.
@NassimKhadem @ScottFitzG Hence “originally†in the first bit. :)
@NassimKhadem And, to go back to the story, this whole airline saga is fascinating. Thanks.
@NassimKhadem I know. :) https://t.co/qx6CfmXgbb
@ScottFitzG No, “eyeing†is just another of those silly newspaper words, like “wed†as a very instead of “marryâ€, o… https://t.co/TVyZlyrQrq
meadea Breaking in @dailytelegraph “Samantha Armytage has confessed to putting on weight during coronavirus”.
Well I suppose it’s better than a party eyeing 20 virgins, like a debutantes’ ball. https://t.co/N2QXsqJ2O5
RT @Kate_McClymont: 💇⚖ï¸ðŸ’°ðŸ”¬ðŸ—ï¸ðŸ˜³ðŸ˜ŽðŸ¤ðŸ’‡ https://t.co/M1KIzQE4oY
@SnarkyPlatypus Just a tad. :) Consider it more a lightly spiced European winter soup, I guess. It is what it is.
@SnarkyPlatypus History in the ’pedia. https://t.co/AbPt8t0AiM
@oberonsghost @SnarkyPlatypus I’m tempted to say that the Dutch curry soup is not a million miles from laksa.
@franksting We live in strange and terrible times.
@wombat1974 @SnarkyPlatypus @manindotblack Arf! Arf! Arf!
@SnarkyPlatypus “Mulligatawny is the Anglicised version of the Tamil words for ‘pepper water’ or ‘pepper broth’. It… https://t.co/V4J7Jl2Pao
@SnarkyPlatypus It’s essentially a Mulligatawny. https://t.co/L8DHd9u78t
@SnarkyPlatypus … but it’s also like this. https://t.co/2ymrvlkoQH

@SnarkyPlatypus Well I had this, but… pic.twitter.com/tWuZvr1DeQ
@manindotblack @SnarkyPlatypus I decided to not do that joke. :)
@GregDAustin @NSWSES @abcnews @UNSWCanberra Thanks very much for the heads-up, Greg. Adding it to my calendar now… :)
@upulie There’s a lot of it about. :(
Apparent temperature -3.6C.
That IS interesting. I wonder whether Kasper will return in some capacity.
Having a bit of a sook.
RT @Scamwatch_gov: If you receive a text asking you to contact the @ato_gov_au in relation to a change in myGov details or early access to…
This is quite @SnarkyPlatypus areas. https://t.co/5rhNKKpfcE

Hahaha yes, @CARROT_app. pic.twitter.com/6wIQRTTydI
RT @ajibarao: it has become an entire spectrum 💀 https://t.co/chFKke6hq2
clint_jasper Has anyone taken a stunner seeding/planting/rain pic over the last few days, that you’re happy to be splashed across the abc?
The Senate Inquiry into Centrelink’s compliance program is calling for new submissions, including supplementary sub… https://t.co/b6QDgBoFBI

lemonodor Teaching a neural network to come up with BBS names is one of the best things I’ve done. pic.twitter.com/nsXa8YSXuE
RT @AsFarce: sydney cops went through a phase in the 1920-30s where they were like “just do your thing idc” when taking mug shots at the st…
@kriegaffe Fair point.

Sure. And then in the second week? pic.twitter.com/GB8ThWiv6d

Apparently it takes two years to figure out the answer is “No, they’re nopic.twitter.com/gqdglRRH4blRRH4b

The Australian Public Service Commission is on drugs. pic.twitter.com/NGztF3N6KM
dekrazee1 Musk is the Trump of tech
@AndrewRJamieson @SnarkyPlatypus Indeed, it’s not terrible.
@chrisrauchle @NewtonMark @dobes @rohan_p Beautiful work.
Fair point. I think. I don’t know that I even care any more. https://t.co/uBIX9PMXkC

Correct. pic.twitter.com/GMRgyxp346
@jpwarren Is there a portal?
That was a subtweet. Obvioiusly.
White non-Italian people discussing how to make a bolognese sauce. Sigh. Adam Liaw was right.
@gnoll110 “Best.â€

bruceknapik Always make sure you have a good email labeling system pic.twitter.com/PJMACNn6ya
RT @emhargreaves: Flatmate ordered a £4 deck chair from @eBay for the garden. We thought she’d got a bargain. It just arrived…. 🤦ðŸ½â€â™€ï¸ htt…
RT @adamliaw: American recipes are always like
1 oz prime-grade meatsteak
42 fl oz cream-reduced Quamâ„¢ï¸ (or mid-sodium)
1 monkey paw onio…
Attn: @SnarkyPlatypus. This one is livestreamed on Sat 9 May at 1100 AEST. https://t.co/VUjqn27Ckr

Having some 2-minute Dutch Curry & Rice Soup because as @SnarkyPlatypus knows I love authentic Asian food. pic.twitter.com/Ae2YIN7T8c
This will definitely not be a debacle. https://t.co/eRVxSAEltf
@Sarah_Alice_X Sad but true.

… although this one looks more promising. pic.twitter.com/UTGqVIzJSB

I mean to say… pic.twitter.com/Iu7NvV85gv

So the Festival of Dangerous Ideas is happening online this year and I can hardly* wait. festivalofdangerousideas.com pic.twitter.com/OIIrgUh3Ep
@Sarah_Alice_X You mean like the Journalists’ Code of Ethics at the MEAA? That sort of thing? Or just an old-fashio… https://t.co/kIpmHRM5In
Does it involve burning everything to the ground and starting again? https://t.co/i0HwRi0YXC
“An Australian bank wants to spray disinfectant from drones in schools and aged care†by @dobes https://t.co/PkM9emDKeB
CSS. That is all.
DOUBTS ABOUT SPECULATION! https://t.co/XxWCh4B6xy
@techoglot You’re most welcome. There’s SO much of it on the Tube of Ewes.
@NewtonMark @dobes @teambuild3r @JustJimWillDo @rohan_p I think everything is going terrible well.
Hurrah for Georgia! https://t.co/UjhW66vofu
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. https://t.co/rWmHZAtkoT
RT @SuperCroup: Gays get married in different outfits from each other challenge
@damana Glad you’re OK. The “too sick to realise how scarily sick you are†thing is scary afterwards. Hope you’re taking to recombobulate.
@teambuild3r @JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark Where we’re going we don’t need no ethics committee!
@teambuild3r @JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark Maybe instead of spraying them with disinfectant you could paint-bomb them.
@JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark Wait, @teambuild3r has suggested combining a couple of projects. https://t.co/9CcpfrT8vQ
@teambuild3r @againsthimself Oh that’s brilliant!
New from @AICriminology: “Availability of COVID-19 related products on Tor darknet markets†https://t.co/3saz42HW0y
RT @againsthimself: Now entering “flinging feces to enforce social distancing” stage of the lockdown. https://t.co/jjP37IFmGW
@JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark No need to hide any more. They’ve managed to convince most people it’s j… https://t.co/z9BvXoIaeP

@dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark I need to keep this as an image. pic.twitter.com/DwiyL01ejM
Bank uses drones to commence spraying the cities. Which phase of The Plan is this, @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark? https://t.co/lbl5k1HYtt
RT @santiagomayer_: I will never not laugh at the fact that Ben Shapiro blocked me for replying to his tweets with this video.
https://t.…
RT @jentaub: â™¥ï¸ A lawyer’s letter that is better than chocolate https://t.co/W4RwJHZXS2
RT @itsbirdemic: Elon hasn’t been this persecuted since they ended apartheid in South Africa https://t.co/NKobwuNGsd
Sigh. What a gronk. https://t.co/tXbUngA8kY
Well I hope relatives aren’t just finding out via this tweet… https://t.co/2RMudOTG4j
RT @sweetestplum: The new smash hit song by Joe Hildebrand,
Everybody Knows. #studioten #goinganalogue https://t.co/lHLS6zLnBw
RT @SHamiltonian: Australians need to learn this word. https://t.co/yu0S4ODOCG
RT @travis_view: A particularly strange sect of QAnon claims that the long-awaited Military Tribunals and executions of Hillary Clinton and…
“Eden-Monaro MP Mike Kelly to resign, prompting by-election†https://t.co/PPyJHH1djl

Fivesandalives Elon Musk is trending and this image is as relevant as ever. pic.twitter.com/QuJTS5TWMo
RT @RudiEdsall: We’re through the looking glass here people https://t.co/o3NAh2IlQt
RT @MrTimDunn: I should be in bed but I’m still up & awake looking at photographs of Utrecht signal box c.1957 https://t.co/3CmCmaPYh6
Another Reminder: “The Far-Right Helped Create The World’s Most Powerful Facial Recognition Technologyâ€, i.e. Clear… https://t.co/orI4dSRV2n
Reminder: Clearview AI is touting its face recognition service for COVID-19 contact tracing. You know, pull faces f… https://t.co/pCzwsW6Bbc
The source is the latest “A Rational Fear†podc@ARationalFearFepca.st/0hghiqq8BkiP
“Barack Obama’s team watched Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech whenever they were ‘really annoyed’ with Tony Abbott,… https://t.co/F0vnFkw7TU

CT_Bergstrom “Genius” pic.twitter.com/Elpy4ECA7n
RT @oz_f: It’s not clear from the tweet or the headline but the story actually says the government *doesn’t* believe the virus came from a…

Well, @dobes, once more @davpope is batting it to the boundary. pic.twitter.com/bvFDWi8T1o
RT @id_gordon: While Trump has been busy droning on about how well the administration has handled the coronavirus pandemic, we @MotherJones…
Listening to today’@abcnewsws Coronacast, “Are kids and young people affected more badly than we thoughpca.st/vugfy9aa4GeKMU
Listening to today’@7ampodcastst, “Evangelical Christianity in the age of coronavirpca.st/jdmrwmla0Q473b

joshgnosis A little dramatic pic.twitter.com/lP6IGja1uS
Thu plan, draft: Slow start, as has become normal this week, or indeed this year; update a client’s website; admini… https://t.co/fjhs55SFCW
@nickzoic @swearyanthony @NewtonMark @GordyPls @jeamland @garthk @dobes Seems like a good strategy. https://t.co/iB8CdNyHlG
@garystark @sleepingdingo Goddammit!
@PeteDotAscian @SnarkyPlatypus @jpwarren Beautiful!
“Will this wind…?†https://t.co/zSfGrFi1ql

Miserable with a lot of wind: not just me, but also the Blue Mountains weather today. pic.twitter.com/QF6eUbvqlm
RT @CraigSilverman: IT’S HERE!
The new Verification Handbook for Disinformation and Media Manipulation is online and avialable for free.…
I think @SnarkyPlatypus would like this. And @jpwarren. https://t.co/H0uFXdlNaY
RT @MichaelDaventry: Hey @britishmuseum, I *love* your mission to catalogue everything under the sun, but your claim to have found Turkey’s…
@sleepingdingo I can never workout why the floor is sloping. This seems to be a problem in quite a few of my dreams.
RT @pointlesslettrs: “Good news at last for Britainâ€
Over 26,000 people are dead https://t.co/S2Afo7lRSu
We’d tried to get the thing fixed but the landlord’s mother was still on holiday in Phnom Penh.
What a weird dream last night. We had to pretend to berate an undercover police officer so as not to blow her cover… https://t.co/t7qlL3DeCu
Thursday. All the creatures are escaping from their jars. Thursday.
HappySinger Ok, I’ve already seen the word “waifu” used to refer to Kim Yo-jong. 2020 is an elaborate practical joke.
RT @NewtonMark: The Insurance Council would just like everyone to know that insurers might be suing tenants to cover landlord losses due to…
JimMFelton Boris Johnson using the birth of his child to get out of PMQs. Laugh it up buddy, you can only use that excuse 3-4 more times this year.
I understand via the news from London that Boris Johnson is about to become a different kind of cunt.
@KetanJ0 It’s wonderful.