@davebottles Sounds perfect.

Or if you prefer a full-length view..pic.twitter.com/DaYxVyq0VbVb
Hey ho, fans of “The Bill”..twitter.com/PaulSenior1/st…G5

@RealNickHodge @fictillius Well there you go. pic.twitter.com/Y7Vu9vortT
Hey Parents, a Quarantimes tip! twitter.com/DrLindseyFitz/…

PulpLibrarian Happy #InternationalJazzDay everybody! It’s crazy man… pic.twitter.com/EAv8AIZQzo
I too have a new Action Ring feature. twitter.com/PulpLibrarian/…
fesshole Whenever I go into a supermarket and see those battery recycling tubs, I wonder how many of the batteries were used..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…jl
@ChrissieM Temperature is an artificial social construct, like art or gravity.
thejuicemedia The Government has made an ad about the global response to the pandemic, and it’s surprisingly honest and informati..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gS
jason_a_w Prue has repeatedly been asked for her political opinions on network television twitter.com/macsween_prue/…
AnthonyCole68 Gutted Warren Mundine isn’t being touted for #EdenMonaro 😔😔
@DevinNunes How’s the whole cow thing going, Devin?
@jpwarren @firstdogonmoon Chickens are not very smart, in my experience.
I am of the opinion that the apparent temperature does not need to be as low as -3.5C but here we are.
@firstdogonmoon @jpwarren So it’s the age-old question, “Why didn’t the chicken cross the moat?”
HelenaDix Absolute HILARITY from @lampard_bari and @hewwagner
I think I need to re-work my approach to cadenzas.
**Warning:..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Hd
Gosh thanks, Labor. twitter.com/lukehgomes/sta…
AyoCaesar “Criticise capitalism while owning an iPhone? You are like little baby, watch this.”
- Friedrich Engels, factory owner.
@PaulbernalUK @MyDoncaster Well, these ARE important stories, and obviously I’m glad for the Emu Wars to be more widely known.
Just the one? twitter.com/10NewsFirst/st…
@jonoabroad Better than living without it.

youwouldknow “And over there is the dogging car park. I’m not allowed there anymore after the Incident.” pic.twitter.com/gPt3vem6RD
For some reason @MyDoncaster in the UK is explaining the Emu Wars of 1932. twitter.com/MyDoncaster/st…
@BrandDNA This, Sir, is what we call a failure of imagination.
@TwitsForMiles Well I don’t need a drone to tell me that.
Oh FFS. twitter.com/abc730/status/…
@RealNickHodge Jamie’s greatest wish.
According to this exciting* video the first Environmental Impact Statement (EIS) for “Sydney Metro: West” is now op..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Cv
@RealNickHodge Well now that you mention it…
“Jamie Oliver’s roast potato method” sounds like another sex technique that’s doomed to failure. twitter.com/BrandDNA/statu…
@R_Chirgwin @PeteDotAscian @SnarkyPlatypus No, drone drones. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
stilgherrian Bank uses drones to commence spraying the cities. Which phase of The Plan is this, @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark? twitter.com/Westpac/status…
stilgherrian “An Australian bank wants to spray disinfectant from drones in schools and aged care” by @dobes zdnet.com/article/an-aus…
HartWexford She had to sing Mister Mistoffeles twitter.com/dailytelegraph…
“Services Australia says not prudent for myGov to handle 3 million concurrent users: Surge capacity does not enter..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…IZ
“Home Affairs says Australia likely next to sign CLOUD Act arrangement with the US” by @ashabeeeee zdnet.com/article/home-a…
@PeteDotAscian @R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus We could get the Westpac drones to lay down some DDT.
@baxters A wish for the world’s shittest genie!

EamonnONeal Stone Hinge pic.twitter.com/3TBLX4xFO1
@manindotblack @R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus One unit per acre though.
@PeteDotAscian @R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus Was that ever rolled out more widely?
@kcarruthers @R_Chirgwin @ssharwood FREE MEAT!
@SnarkyPlatypus @R_Chirgwin Seems to work though. Like @Susan_Hennessey I’m loving that it’s called the Patriot Plu..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0c
@R_Chirgwin @SnarkyPlatypus Apparently it creates the appropriate CO2 and moisture gradient to simulate a mammal an..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ts
@FrKarlSinclair Which just goes to show how innovative I am!
Whaddyareckon, @R_Chirgwin? Or maybe @SnarkyPlatypus needs one of these for the balcony. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Thanks to @Susan_Hennessey and the @RatlSecurity podcast I have just learned of the propane-powered Mosquito Magnet..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…jC
Pondering dinner.
@R_Chirgwin At least we’re not in the blizzard zone.
@ssharwood Fuckwittery?

Hey @R_Chirgwin, this all looks fun tomorrow! pic.twitter.com/0da69amqok

diannaeanderson My friend who is a nurse just posted this image about why we should wear face masks and … I love it. pic.twitter.com/TnYnC38OxX
@twcau Correct.

Reminder. pic.twitter.com/4BYfMUJBZH
@twcau The parking space for his Telstra grunt truck has already been marked out.
@johnallsopp One shock-horror revelation at a time. :)
Reminder to Techbros: One key reason that the Australian government’s COVIDSafe app doesn’t use the Goople API is t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gp
timescanner EYELASHES CURLED INWARD LIKE A RECORD NEEDLE ON YOUR IRIS REPLAYING THE THINGS YOU’VE SEEN IN DREAMS
FXMC1957 USA No.1 on this day in 1969: The Fifth Dimension - Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In youtu.be/oPK7ZF6jfJE via @YouTube
@SnarkyPlatypus Here we go. if.com.au/abc-and-screen…
@SnarkyPlatypus Bearing in mind that Wed night is comedy night… I’m still open to this being a parody “with his t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…IM
StanDevia While Saint Jerome was in isolation from the Black Death in 382 he updated the Bible with some new chapters or some..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yi
@SnarkyPlatypus Maybe this is exactly the tonic the nation needs.
dobes If only the government was hosting infrastructure on cloud providers some folk were losing their shit over, and the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…OF
Sure. Yes. Yes it is. twitter.com/yvetteposh/sta…
I am… I thi.. look… what? twitter.com/ABCTV/status/1…
evcricket Everyone in Friends. twitter.com/RottenTomatoes…
@manindotblack @wombat1974 @SnarkyPlatypus It me!
@raaahbin @NewtonMark @jonkudelka Bloody hell I step away from The Twitter for just a few minutes and look what ha..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…NL
Remember, folks, the Australian national anthem is “What About Moi!”. twitter.com/madconnaughton…
NewtonMark This quote, and the chart which debunks it, are close enough together in the same article to fit on the same screen..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6w
@NewtonMark FFS, you and facts. You’re always with these fuckin’ facts!
conor64 Seeing a Rolling Stones concert earlier this year would be like someone in 1962, the year the band started playing,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rC
@DanielleWarby Fair point. :)
I was much more cool in the early 1990s.
Old Techno Fans: Apparently in 1994 I interviewed DJ/producer Richie Hawtin (Plastikman, F.U.S.E.) at length for Fr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ys
@SnarkyPlatypus @TimeGhostTV I’m really appreciating the modern, more balanced historiography.
@SnarkyPlatypus @TimeGhostTV And your brief review?
I was once told that 75% of all shipping tonnage globally was the oil and petrochemical industry. Not in ship numbe..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0l
@SnarkyPlatypus Which reminds me, have you been watching the @TimeGhostTV Indonesia series yet? Three of six up now. youtube.com/watch?v=IkKJSR…
I’m sorry about my followers, @NassimKhadem. They are idiots.
@NassimKhadem @ScottFitzG Hence “originally” in the first bit. :)
@NassimKhadem And, to go back to the story, this whole airline saga is fascinating. Thanks.
@NassimKhadem I know. :) twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@ScottFitzG No, “eyeing” is just another of those silly newspaper words, like “wed” as a very instead of “marry”, o..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rq
meadea Breaking in @dailytelegraph “Samantha Armytage has confessed to putting on weight during coronavirus”.
Well I suppose it’s better than a party eyeing 20 virgins, like a debutantes’ ball. twitter.com/NassimKhadem/s…
Kate_McClymont 👇⚖️💰🔬🗝️😳😎🤐👇 twitter.com/jc_cummins/sta…
@SnarkyPlatypus Just a tad. :) Consider it more a lightly spiced European winter soup, I guess. It is what it is.
@SnarkyPlatypus History in the ‘pedia. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulligata…
@oberonsghost @SnarkyPlatypus I’m tempted to say that the Dutch curry soup is not a million miles from laksa.
@franksting We live in strange and terrible times.
@wombat1974 @SnarkyPlatypus @manindotblack Arf! Arf! Arf!
@SnarkyPlatypus “Mulligatawny is the Anglicised version of the Tamil words for ‘pepper water’ or ‘pepper broth’. It..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ao
@SnarkyPlatypus It’s essentially a Mulligatawny. simplyrecipes.com/recipes/chicke…
@SnarkyPlatypus … but it’s also like this. greeningofgavin.com/2009/09/veggie…

@SnarkyPlatypus Well I had this, but… pic.twitter.com/tWuZvr1DeQ
@manindotblack @SnarkyPlatypus I decided to not do that joke. :)
@GregDAustin @NSWSES @abcnews @UNSWCanberra Thanks very much for the heads-up, Greg. Adding it to my calendar now… :)
@upulie There’s a lot of it about. :(
Apparent temperature -3.6C.
That IS interesting. I wonder whether Kasper will return in some capacity.
Having a bit of a sook.
Scamwatch_gov If you receive a text asking you to contact the @ato_gov_au in relation to a change in myGov details or early acces..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Hd
This is quite @SnarkyPlatypus areas. twitter.com/ajibarao/statu…

Hahaha yes, @CARROT_app. pic.twitter.com/6wIQRTTydI

ajibarao it has become an entire spectrum 💀 pic.twitter.com/chFKke6hq2
clint_jasper Has anyone taken a stunner seeding/planting/rain pic over the last few days, that you’re happy to be splashed across the abc?
The Senate Inquiry into Centrelink’s compliance program is calling for new submissions, including supplementary sub..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…BI

lemonodor Teaching a neural network to come up with BBS names is one of the best things I’ve done. pic.twitter.com/nsXa8YSXuE
AsFarce sydney cops went through a phase in the 1920-30s where they were like “just do your thing idc” when taking mug shot..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…R7
@kriegaffe Fair point.

Sure. And then in the second week? pic.twitter.com/GB8ThWiv6d

Apparently it takes two years to figure out the answer is “No, they’re not.” pic.twitter.com/gqdglRRH4b

The Australian Public Service Commission is on drugs. pic.twitter.com/NGztF3N6KM
dekrazee1 Musk is the Trump of tech
@AndrewRJamieson @SnarkyPlatypus Indeed, it’s not terrible.
@chrisrauchle @NewtonMark @dobes @rohan_p Beautiful work.
Fair point. I think. I don’t know that I even care any more. twitter.com/jonoabroad/sta…

Correct. pic.twitter.com/GMRgyxp346
@jpwarren Is there a portal?
That was a subtweet. Obvioiusly.
White non-Italian people discussing how to make a bolognese sauce. Sigh. Adam Liaw was right.
@gnoll110 “Best.”

bruceknapik Always make sure you have a good email labeling system pic.twitter.com/PJMACNn6ya
emhargreaves Flatmate ordered a £4 deck chair from @eBay for the garden. We thought she’d got a bargain. It just arrived……twitter.com/i/web/status/1…he
adamliaw American recipes are always like
1 oz prime-grade meatsteak
42 fl oz cream-reduced Quam™️ (or mid-sodium)
1 monke..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…do
Attn: @SnarkyPlatypus. This one is livestreamed on Sat 9 May at 1100 AEST. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

Having some 2-minute Dutch Curry & Rice Soup because as @SnarkyPlatypus knows I love authentic Asian food. pic.twitter.com/Ae2YIN7T8c
This will definitely not be a debacle. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@Sarah_Alice_X Sad but true.

… although this one looks more promising. pic.twitter.com/UTGqVIzJSB

I mean to say… pic.twitter.com/Iu7NvV85gv

So the Festival of Dangerous Ideas is happening online this year and I can hardly* wait. festivalofdangerousideas.com pic.twitter.com/OIIrgUh3Ep
@Sarah_Alice_X You mean like the Journalists’ Code of Ethics at the MEAA? That sort of thing? Or just an old-fashio..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…In
Does it involve burning everything to the ground and starting again? twitter.com/zdnetaustralia…
“An Australian bank wants to spray disinfectant from drones in schools and aged care” by @dobes zdnet.com/article/an-aus…
CSS. That is all.
DOUBTS ABOUT SPECULATION! twitter.com/cameronwilson/…
@techoglot You’re most welcome. There’s SO much of it on the Tube of Ewes.
@NewtonMark @dobes @teambuild3r @JustJimWillDo @rohan_p I think everything is going terrible well.
Hurrah for Georgia! twitter.com/Complex/status…
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. twitter.com/GeorgeCochrane…
SuperCroup Gays get married in different outfits from each other challenge
@damana Glad you’re OK. The “too sick to realise how scarily sick you are” thing is scary afterwards. Hope you’re taking to recombobulate.
@teambuild3r @JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark Where we’re going we don’t need no ethics committee!
@teambuild3r @JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark Maybe instead of spraying them with disinfectant you could paint-bomb them.
@JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark Wait, @teambuild3r has suggested combining a couple of projects. twitter.com/againsthimself…
@teambuild3r @againsthimself Oh that’s brilliant!
New from @AICriminology: “Availability of COVID-19 related products on Tor darknet markets” aic.gov.au/publications/s…
againsthimself Now entering “flinging feces to enforce social distancing” stage of the lockdown. twitter.com/BBCWorld/statu…
@JustJimWillDo @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark No need to hide any more. They’ve managed to convince most people it’s j..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eP

@dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark I need to keep this as an image. pic.twitter.com/DwiyL01ejM
Bank uses drones to commence spraying the cities. Which phase of The Plan is this, @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark? twitter.com/Westpac/status…

santiagomayer_ I will never not laugh at the fact that Ben Shapiro blocked me for replying to his tweets with this video.
pic.twitter.com/QUAauZs55x

jentaub ♥️ A lawyer’s letter that is better than chocolate pic.twitter.com/W4RwJHZXS2
itsbirdemic Elon hasn’t been this persecuted since they ended apartheid in South Africa twitter.com/elonmusk/statu…
Sigh. What a gronk. twitter.com/kari_paul/stat…
Well I hope relatives aren’t just finding out via this tweet… twitter.com/alanfeuer/stat…

sweetestplum The new smash hit song by Joe Hildebrand,
Everybody Knows. #studioten #goinganalogue pic.twitter.com/lHLS6zLnBw
SHamiltonian Australians need to learn this word. twitter.com/ProfBrianCox/s…
travis_view A particularly strange sect of QAnon claims that the long-awaited Military Tribunals and executions of Hillary Clin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ZM
“Eden-Monaro MP Mike Kelly to resign, prompting by-election” abc.net.au/news/2020-04-3…

Fivesandalives Elon Musk is trending and this image is as relevant as ever. pic.twitter.com/QuJTS5TWMo

RudiEdsall We’re through the looking glass here people pic.twitter.com/o3NAh2IlQt

MrTimDunn I should be in bed but I’m still up & awake looking at photographs of Utrecht signal box c.1957 pic.twitter.com/3CmCmaPYh6
Another Reminder: “The Far-Right Helped Create The World’s Most Powerful Facial Recognition Technology”, i.e. Clear..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2n
Reminder: Clearview AI is touting its face recognition service for COVID-19 contact tracing. You know, pull faces f..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bc
The source is the latest “A Rational Fear” podcast @ARationalFear. pca.st/0hghiqq8
“Barack Obama’s team watched Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech whenever they were ‘really annoyed’ with Tony Abbott,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…TU

CT_Bergstrom “Genius” pic.twitter.com/Elpy4ECA7n
oz_f It’s not clear from the tweet or the headline but the story actually says the government *doesn’t* believe the viru..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dA

Well, @dobes, once more @davpope is batting it to the boundary. pic.twitter.com/bvFDWi8T1o
id_gordon While Trump has been busy droning on about how well the administration has handled the coronavirus pandemic, we..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ph
Listening to today’s @abcnews Coronacast, “Are kids and young people affected more badly than we thought?” pca.st/vugfy9aa
Listening to today’s @7ampodcast, “Evangelical Christianity in the age of coronavirus” pca.st/jdmrwmla

joshgnosis A little dramatic pic.twitter.com/lP6IGja1uS
Thu plan, draft: Slow start, as has become normal this week, or indeed this year; update a client’s website; admini..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…CW
@nickzoic @swearyanthony @NewtonMark @GordyPls @jeamland @garthk @dobes Seems like a good strategy. twitter.com/six_2_and_even…
@garystark @sleepingdingo Goddammit!
@PeteDotAscian @SnarkyPlatypus @jpwarren Beautiful!
“Will this wind…?” youtube.com/watch?v=-hJQ18…

Miserable with a lot of wind: not just me, but also the Blue Mountains weather today. pic.twitter.com/QF6eUbvqlm
CraigSilverman IT’S HERE!
The new Verification Handbook for Disinformation and Media Manipulation is online and avialable for fr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…so
I think @SnarkyPlatypus would like this. And @jpwarren. twitter.com/MichaelDaventr…
MichaelDaventry Hey @britishmuseum, I *love* your mission to catalogue everything under the sun, but your claim to have found Turke..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…KG
@sleepingdingo I can never workout why the floor is sloping. This seems to be a problem in quite a few of my dreams.

pointlesslettrs “Good news at last for Britain”
Over 26,000 people are dead pic.twitter.com/S2Afo7lRSu
We’d tried to get the thing fixed but the landlord’s mother was still on holiday in Phnom Penh.
What a weird dream last night. We had to pretend to berate an undercover police officer so as not to blow her cover..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Cu
Thursday. All the creatures are escaping from their jars. Thursday.
HappySinger Ok, I’ve already seen the word “waifu” used to refer to Kim Yo-jong. 2020 is an elaborate practical joke.
NewtonMark The Insurance Council would just like everyone to know that insurers might be suing tenants to cover landlord losse..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Lb
JimMFelton Boris Johnson using the birth of his child to get out of PMQs. Laugh it up buddy, you can only use that excuse 3-4 more times this year.
I understand via the news from London that Boris Johnson is about to become a different kind of cunt.
@KetanJ0 It’s wonderful.