Weekly Wrap 437: Cybering for two weeks in two countries

The White HouseMy fortnight of Monday 1 to Sunday 14 October 2018 was spent in The America and then in the Melbourne. I’m exhausted. But it was all quite productive.

Articles

Podcasts

None published. But as well as the long conversation with Nicholas Fryer that we recorded in Adelaide two weeks ago, in DC I recorded a long interview with the remarkable Mike Godwin, creator of Godwin’s Law amongst many other things. Both of those podcasts will be posted some time in the coming week.

Media Appearances

None, which is unusual.

Corporate Largesse

  • My flights to the US and the related accommodation were covered by FireEye.
  • At the Australian Cyber Conference on 10–11 October there was plenty of food and drink, courtesy of the Australian Information Security Association (AISA) and their sponsors. AusCERT: A branded SyncStop “USB Condom” to protect my devices while charging from random USB ports; Tenable: a copy of Cyber Exposure for Dummies; ThreatQuotient: A stress rhinoceros, leading Benno Rice to coin the euphemism “Squeezing the rhino”; Tripwire: Three t-shirts bearing the slogan “I didn’t start the fire”; Yubico: A YubiKey NEO authentication device.

The Week Ahead

On Monday, I’m back in Sydney, where I’ll be dealing with a couple of medical things, sorting through my notes and pitching some stories, and ending the day with some social life, before taking the train back to Wentworth Falls.

Tuesday through Thursday will be about writing for ZDNet and editing podcasts. I’ll plan that out as I go.

Friday is another Sydney day, with the usual mix of medical and work appointments, plus whatever remains to be done. I’m looking forward to having a lazy weekend.

Further Ahead

The following week I’m spending a bunch of time in Sydney covering the Sibos global financial services conference on 22–25 October. That’ll keep me pretty busy, so Friday through Sunday will be more laid-back.

Beyond that:

[Photo: The White House. You know what this is. Photographed on the foggy Sunday morning of 7 October 2018.]

Hillary’s mangoes, no NSA involved

[I was in a bit of a mood on Thursday, so when The Guardian broke the news that the NSA has been collecting the phone records of American citizens, my tolerance for political arsehattery was nonexistent. Calls for street protests? Bah! My countermove was to tweet a bunch of nonsense, which is posted here as prose.]

Mangoes by umstwitMaybe if we all run around like headless chooks, Mr Obama will say “Oh, sorry” and disband the NSA. And then Mr Obama will mount his trusty cyberpig and fly to the Moon, leaving behind a chemtrail of glitter and Bitcoins.

But look, headless chooks are the important bit. The more rushing around and screeching you can manage, the sooner the cyberpig lifts off. And quite frankly, Obama’s first term was a big disappointment as far as glitter showers go.

By comparison, I imagine that on weekends Hillary Clinton pumps out a steady stream of glitter. Like a Queen Ant, kinda.

Nyan Cat was DARPA’s prototype for that. DARPA’s main challenge was making it come out as glitter. When Hillary gets steam up, there’s no telling what it’ll be. Hummus, sometimes. Whipped cream.

One day it was just mangoes. Whole mangoes. Three a second, hour after hour. Secret Service guys took the whole weekend to clear the mess.

Then they had to figure out a cover story. Why were there mangoes smeared all the way down Pennsylvania Avenue? Eventually they decided just to tell everyone it was Madeleine Albright’s fault, so the press corps obviously bought that.

There’s a reason trams never took off in Washington.

[Photo: Mangoes by Flickr user umstwit, used under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.]